- today
“Screwballs” is a teen sex comedy set in the 1960s, following a group of mischievous high school boys as they scheme to catch a glimpse of the most popular girl in school. Full of pranks, outrageous humor, and classic 80s-style hijinks, the film is a wild ride through adolescent antics and rebellion.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Fire!
00:00:01Can't you get your hand up in the fire?
00:00:02I can't help this position forever!
00:00:07Get it up there!
00:00:09Right up there!
00:00:10Fire!
00:00:11Ah!
00:00:12Ah!
00:00:13Ah!
00:00:14Ah!
00:00:15Ah!
00:00:16Ah!
00:00:17Ah!
00:00:18Ah!
00:00:19Ah!
00:00:20Ah!
00:00:21Ah!
00:00:22Ah!
00:00:23Ah!
00:00:24Ah!
00:00:25Ah!
00:00:26Ah!
00:00:27Ah!
00:00:28Ah!
00:00:29Ah!
00:00:30Oh!
00:00:31Look who's coming!
00:00:32If it isn't Mr. Rick McKay!
00:00:34Mr. Good and Plenty!
00:00:36He's so good looking!
00:00:38Good looking!
00:00:39Good and horny!
00:00:42Come on!
00:00:43We're gonna be late for class!
00:00:45Ah!
00:00:46ah old boy
00:00:59Nine o'clock
00:01:00and the school bells ringin'
00:01:01gotta get up, gotta be on time!
00:01:04hiожvisi!
00:01:05I can't help myself, got this crazy feeling
00:01:07I just can't seem to get off my mind
00:01:11The day drags on, the teacher keeps trying
00:01:14They make me learn what I don't want to know
00:01:17There's only one thing that keeps me flying
00:01:20One more bell and I get to go
00:01:24Looking for some crazy times
00:01:29Don't you know my heart's on fire
00:01:35School is through, I'll be leaving
00:01:43Gotta go, I'll take me some time
00:01:46Can't help myself, got this crazy feeling
00:01:49One of these days she's gonna be mine
00:01:53Until that day, I gotta keep trying
00:01:56To get past everything in my way
00:01:59Homework, schoolwork, Scott, man, crying
00:02:02Looking for something to lead us great
00:02:06Looking for some crazy times
00:02:11Don't you know my heart's on fire
00:02:17Nine o'clock and the girls are waiting
00:02:43How in the car will you go downtown?
00:02:46Can't help myself, got this crazy feeling
00:02:49The radio's playing, I'm playing a new sound
00:02:53All the while, my grades are slipping
00:02:56Dad keeps telling me
00:02:58You're the guy
00:02:59I don't mind the way that I'm feeling
00:03:02I won't change even though I'm cold
00:03:06Looking for some crazy times
00:03:10I'm looking for some crazy, crazy times
00:03:14Looking for some crazy times
00:03:17I gotta find some crazy, crazy times
00:03:21Looking for some crazy times
00:03:23I'm looking for some crazy, crazy times
00:03:28Looking for some crazy times
00:03:30I gotta find him, I'm gonna find some crazy time
00:03:36I'm gonna find some crazy, crazy time
00:03:40Some crazy time
00:04:00I'm gonna find some crazy time
00:04:30I'm gonna find some crazy, crazy time
00:05:00Toilet paper and shit everywhere
00:05:02What were you doing in the girls' restrooms?
00:05:05Yeah, don't worry, I'll be okay
00:05:06But you better go if I need help
00:05:08Go, hurry
00:05:09Go, go, go
00:05:12Good morning, girls, I'm, uh...
00:05:32I'm Dr. Pepper
00:05:34Okay, who'd like to be the first volunteer?
00:05:41Me, me, me
00:05:42Uh, uh, how about you?
00:05:46You have, uh, you, you have very, uh, you look, you look healthy
00:05:50Uh, please
00:05:51Now, I don't want you to worry about anything
00:06:01These are very, very experienced hands
00:06:04I, uh, well, I, I can't tell you how many times I've done this
00:06:10It's very nice
00:06:19Oh, it's cold
00:06:26That's very nice
00:06:36I, um, I think we're going to, uh, I think we're going to have to have a closer look
00:06:42I, I, I can't seem to be able to hear a thing
00:06:44Oh, my...
00:06:48Um...
00:06:50Uh, uh...
00:06:55Sure, sure, sure
00:06:59Bonjour, class
00:07:05Bonjour, mademoiselle bourgeois
00:07:09To speak French
00:07:11You must use symbols
00:07:13La bouche
00:07:16The lips
00:07:18The lips
00:07:19The lips
00:07:20And the tongue
00:07:24The long
00:07:26And you must always
00:07:30Speak from here
00:07:32The diaphragm
00:07:34Boy, she wears it all
00:07:35Now, class
00:07:37After me
00:07:39La bouche
00:07:41La bouche
00:07:43La bouche
00:07:44La la
00:07:45La la
00:07:46La la
00:07:47La la
00:07:48La la
00:07:49La la
00:07:50La la
00:07:51Très bien
00:07:52La
00:07:54La
00:07:55La
00:07:56La
00:07:58La
00:07:59La
00:08:00La
00:08:01La
00:08:02La
00:08:03La
00:08:13La
00:08:14La
00:08:15La
00:08:16La
00:08:17La
00:08:27La
00:08:28La
00:08:29La
00:08:30La
00:08:31La
00:08:32La
00:08:33La
00:08:47La
00:08:48La
00:08:49La
00:08:54La
00:08:55La
00:08:57La
00:08:58Oh, Grant, teach me again.
00:09:02Oh, yes.
00:09:04The tongue.
00:09:05The tongue.
00:09:20Excuse me.
00:09:21Excuse me.
00:09:21Excuse me.
00:09:22Do you know where the boys' gym is?
00:09:28The boys' gym.
00:09:29Do you?
00:09:30Do I ever.
00:09:32Hi.
00:09:55Hi.
00:09:55Hi.
00:09:56Listen, I'm new here.
00:09:57I was just wondering if you could tell me where the boys' gym is.
00:09:59Transfer student, right?
00:10:00That's right.
00:10:01I'm Tim.
00:10:01Tim Stevenson from Idaho.
00:10:03Well, Tim.
00:10:04Tim Stevenson from Idaho.
00:10:06Why, here's the boys' gym right here.
00:10:09Well, I hope he was right here in front of my nose.
00:10:11Well, listen, thank you for your help.
00:10:13My pleasure.
00:10:14My pleasure.
00:10:17Who the hell do you think the boys are?
00:10:18Yeah!
00:10:19Oh, my God.
00:10:20Get up here, William.
00:10:21Oh, my God.
00:10:22Oh, my God.
00:10:23Yeah.
00:10:24Yeah.
00:10:25Yeah.
00:10:26Yeah.
00:10:27Yeah.
00:10:28Yeah.
00:10:29Oh, William.
00:10:30Huh?
00:10:31No, just can't stop it.
00:10:36Stop me, no.
00:10:38No, just can't stop it.
00:10:40Stop me, stop me.
00:10:42Don't worry.
00:10:43No, my mind's fine.
00:10:44But I'm a little bit on a drop and it's tough.
00:10:47It's hot, it's hot, so hot, and you just don't stop the bomb.
00:11:10Give me a frozen big stick, will you, Melvin?
00:11:17I'd love a scoop of dripping chocolate with some of your whipped cream, big boy.
00:11:36Sure, girls, whatever you want.
00:11:38Thanks, Melvin. I would have gone crazy if I didn't get something in my mouth.
00:11:44Oh, Shirty, what can I get for you?
00:11:57Like a big, hard, frozen banana.
00:12:02Oh, it's coming right up.
00:12:05You know, I think I've changed my mind.
00:12:08Well, what do you want?
00:12:11I feel like a hot, fresh, cherry sundae.
00:12:17Oh, yeah. Cherry, huh?
00:12:21And, uh, Melvin, I just love you to top it off with your nuts.
00:12:26Oh, yeah, well, um, uh, I'll, uh, I'll be right back.
00:12:34Where are you going, Tchaikovsky? Going to live up to your last name?
00:12:37We're finally leaving us at the point of pride at Taft and Adams, our old germ-free, frozen,
00:12:52and put up a full meat locker.
00:12:59Melvin!
00:13:01Tchaikovsky!
00:13:03Tchaikovsky!
00:13:04Holy shit, it's the pussy factor!
00:13:20Holy shit, it's the pussy factor.
00:13:50Excuse me, Purity.
00:13:53Howie Bates, what are you up to now?
00:13:56Oh, nothing.
00:13:57Miranus needs a bit of adjusting, that's all.
00:14:50What are you here for?
00:15:21Hey, that guy's.
00:15:22New kid doesn't know this is my home away from home.
00:15:26Hey, Jerkovsky.
00:15:28Fuck again.
00:15:29Hey, where'd you beat off this time?
00:15:30Study hall?
00:15:31No meat locker.
00:15:32Smart thinking, Mel.
00:15:33No better place to beat the meat, huh?
00:15:35Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
00:15:36Shh, or I'll tell principal, shh, shh, fuck off.
00:15:40Stuck off can fuck off.
00:15:43Did you know Susan Miller wears red lacy underwears?
00:15:46Yeah.
00:15:47All the cheerleaders do, but only on Monday.
00:15:50What are they wearing Friday?
00:15:54This Friday's homecoming.
00:15:55They probably won't wear anything.
00:15:57Do you gentlemen know the meaning of the word firm?
00:16:07Heathens?
00:16:11Scum?
00:16:12Trash?
00:16:13Degenerates?
00:16:14I think I know what trash means.
00:16:17Here at Tafton Adams High School.
00:16:18What can I eat at TNA?
00:16:19We have a fine reputation to uphold.
00:16:22You can give him something to hold.
00:16:24A dignity to carry on.
00:16:26I am not about to have a few bad seeds take root,
00:16:29contaminating my divine garden of higher education.
00:16:33This guy's nuts.
00:16:34This afternoon, on this, you regretful day of detention,
00:16:38I want you.
00:16:40I want you.
00:16:42My, my, my.
00:16:43If it isn't our homecoming queen,
00:16:45then, oh, looking quite beautiful today, I might add.
00:16:48Who is that?
00:16:50You really are new here, aren't you, kids?
00:16:52That's none other than Purity Bush,
00:16:55the last holdout at TNA High.
00:16:57She's the only girl who has it.
00:17:00She's got to have the nicest tits in town.
00:17:03How would you know, asshole?
00:17:05Nobody's ever laid eyes on them, let alone hands.
00:17:08I hope you've been practicing your music.
00:17:11P-p-pardon me, principal's stuck off.
00:17:14The vice principal would like to see you right away.
00:17:17He says it's imp-p-p-p-urgent.
00:17:21Business calling, my dear.
00:17:23I'll be back in just a moment.
00:17:26As for you, you swine,
00:17:29none of you are to leave that bench.
00:17:30Is that understood?
00:17:33I'll be back in a moment, my dear.
00:17:35Well, aren't any of you boys going to be gentlemen?
00:18:02Five days of detention.
00:18:18Then maybe you boys will know the meaning of the words hard labor.
00:18:23F-F-F-F-Five days?
00:18:26Five days.
00:18:29Come, my dear.
00:18:30Come on, we're all in this together.
00:18:48This detention is fucked.
00:18:50I'll say.
00:18:52And you know who we've got to thank for it.
00:18:55Yeah, Miss Purity Bush.
00:19:00Aren't any of you boys going to be gentlemen?
00:19:08Female.
00:19:08Yeah, females.
00:19:10Can you believe it?
00:19:11My first day here and I'm already in detention.
00:19:13Look, kid, what's your name?
00:19:15Tim.
00:19:16Look, Tim, staying after school can be a drag,
00:19:19but sometimes you can luck out.
00:19:21You won't believe this.
00:19:23Two weeks ago in this lab,
00:19:25I got a private lesson in biology
00:19:27from Professor Sarah Bellum.
00:19:30You know what I mean, boys?
00:19:32A private lesson?
00:19:34Not the bullshit, Brent.
00:19:35No one's interested in your wet dreams.
00:19:37I am.
00:19:38Bullshit, Melvin.
00:19:39You jerk off so much,
00:19:40if you ever did get laid,
00:19:41you'd probably scream out your own name.
00:19:44I mean, you really got it on with the bio teacher.
00:19:47They say she's real kinky.
00:19:50I did, and she is.
00:19:52She's so hot for me.
00:19:54They all are.
00:19:55Purity isn't.
00:19:56Yeah, what's with purity?
00:19:57It's like she wanted us to get in hot water.
00:19:59What do you mean, deep shit?
00:20:02I almost made it with her once.
00:20:04Now look who's wet dreaming.
00:20:06You think purity really is a virgin?
00:20:09No girl is.
00:20:10My sister is.
00:20:11My mother is.
00:20:12Purity definitely is.
00:20:17Well, there it is, gentlemen.
00:20:19Before homecoming, let's make it a point
00:20:21that at least one of us will get a shot at her body.
00:20:24Or at least a glimpse of her tits.
00:20:30Who wants to be first?
00:20:34Need some wheels?
00:20:37I'll tell you, Tim, if that seat could talk, oof,
00:20:40I'd sure be in a hell of a lot of trouble.
00:20:41Just check out this dash.
00:20:44There's Denise, Lynn, Christy on New Year's Eve,
00:20:47and there's Christy on New Year's morning.
00:20:49I felt generous.
00:20:52What's this, Brent?
00:20:54Oh, that?
00:20:55That's modern science.
00:20:57The chicks love it.
00:20:58Well, Brent, you got it made.
00:21:00Yeah, I know.
00:21:03Well, here we are, tired purity's house.
00:21:06You sure you're up for your big moment?
00:21:17God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy,
00:21:20Principal Stucco, and of course, Teddy.
00:21:23Please look over and protect this house,
00:21:26my lovely wardrobe,
00:21:27and naturally, my expensive and exquisite jewelry.
00:21:30Just remember exactly what I said
00:21:32and do what I told you to do.
00:21:34Now, purity's bedroom is up on the second floor.
00:21:38I know, I know.
00:21:39First window on the left.
00:21:41Right, right, on the left.
00:21:43Now, here's a couple of goodies that never fail.
00:21:48Old Smokey?
00:21:51Old Smokey.
00:21:52And a bottle of bubbly?
00:21:54Take them.
00:21:56Compliments of that house.
00:21:57Well, Brent, thanks a lot.
00:22:01Well, wish me luck.
00:22:03You don't need luck.
00:22:04You've got class.
00:22:07And Lord, it's wonderful that you made me
00:22:10the smartest, prettiest,
00:22:12most sought-after girl in the whole school.
00:22:15Amen.
00:22:16Oh, P.S.
00:22:18I hope you realize it's not always easy being perfect.
00:22:24Come on, Teddy.
00:22:26Time for Bitty Box.
00:22:27Here's your prune juice, Ward, darling.
00:22:38Oh, thanks, you know.
00:22:40Room temperature.
00:22:42Just the way you like it.
00:22:54Poor baby.
00:22:55Let's do it tonight.
00:23:07Oh, shit, she's in hate again.
00:23:08It's been two weeks.
00:23:11Well, not tonight.
00:23:12I've got to conserve energy
00:23:14for that big bowling tournament tomorrow.
00:23:16Oh, bowling, bowling, bowling.
00:23:18Can't you think about anything
00:23:19except putting your finger
00:23:20in that big black ball?
00:23:22Now, June, dear,
00:23:22calm down and tell me
00:23:23what's bothering you.
00:23:25Oh, Ward.
00:23:25I'm worried about the beaver.
00:23:28Do you want to go to dinner, Teddy?
00:23:45Oh, but I'm not very hungry.
00:23:52Okay.
00:23:53If you pay for it, I'll eat it.
00:23:55Oh, I don't know.
00:24:01The guys down at the Legion Hall
00:24:02are counting on me.
00:24:05Ward, honey,
00:24:06I'll bark like a dog for you.
00:24:09Oh, all right.
00:24:24I guess you're worth a gutter ball or two.
00:24:26Purity.
00:24:34Purity?
00:24:36No, no, Teddy.
00:24:39Not now.
00:24:40Not here in the restaurant.
00:24:43You should know I always have a headache.
00:24:47Purity.
00:24:48Purity.
00:24:49No, no.
00:24:51I said, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:24:56Purity, can I come in?
00:24:59Oh, yes.
00:25:01Yes.
00:25:02Yes.
00:25:03Yes.
00:25:04Yes.
00:25:06Shoot.
00:25:08What was that?
00:25:10Just ignore it.
00:25:15I better go check outside.
00:25:19Oh, Lord.
00:25:20Where's my rescue?
00:25:23Maybe those commie pinkos
00:25:25are coming to get us.
00:25:26I'm not worried about them
00:25:29coming to get us.
00:25:31I'm worried about us
00:25:32getting to come at all.
00:25:40Watch out, you rescues.
00:25:42Here I come.
00:25:42Purity's bedroom's on the, on the left.
00:26:04No, the right.
00:26:07No, no, the left.
00:26:08Don't move.
00:26:11I've got a way to make my honey bun happy tonight.
00:26:29Where are you, you damn Cossacks?
00:26:41Where are you, you damn Cossacks?
00:26:42Yeah.
00:26:43No.
00:26:44No.
00:26:58No.
00:26:59No.
00:27:00No.
00:27:00No, no.
00:27:01No.
00:27:01No.
00:27:02No.
00:27:02I knew it. Those commies, they're here. Right on my porch.
00:27:32I've got you. You're the only good rat in a dead rat.
00:27:52He missed me by this much.
00:27:54Was I lucky.
00:27:55So did you see her tits?
00:27:57Well, he told you he was a Mrs. Bush. Not pure.
00:28:00You sure? Did you see her tits?
00:28:02Not really.
00:28:03Yeah, because I told him to go to the left.
00:28:05Yeah, and he also told me he'd be waiting outside.
00:28:09Hey guys, can I get you anything more to eat?
00:28:11Oh, yeah, but it isn't on the menu.
00:28:13Oh, still hungry for more, huh?
00:28:16Ooh, a new face. Pretty good looking one at that.
00:28:19Watch out, Tim. She's hot.
00:28:23So, Tim, can I give you some more milk?
00:28:26No, thanks.
00:28:27I'll have some more milk.
00:28:29Oops.
00:28:30Sorry, just went on my break.
00:28:32Hey, guys.
00:28:33There's a great show at the drive-in tonight.
00:28:35The Wild Women of Wang Gold.
00:28:38Anyone going?
00:28:40So, uh, Tim, you up for it?
00:28:43But...
00:28:45Yeah, sure.
00:28:47Great. See you at second.
00:28:48All right.
00:28:49The value of you, tiger.
00:28:50Oh!
00:28:51Oh!
00:28:52Oh!
00:28:53Oh!
00:28:54Oh!
00:28:56Oh!
00:28:57Oh!
00:28:58Oh!
00:28:59Oh!
00:29:00Oh!
00:29:02Oh!
00:29:04Oh!
00:29:06Oh!
00:29:07Oh!
00:29:08Oh.
00:29:09Oh.
00:29:10Oh!
00:29:11Oh!
00:29:12Oh!
00:29:13Oh!
00:29:14Oh!
00:29:15Oh!
00:29:16Oh!
00:29:17Shh! No, talking!
00:29:47I said no talking!
00:29:54Attention students, there'll be a meeting today for all members of the Glee Club.
00:30:03Attention students, there'll be a meeting today for all members of the Glee Club.
00:30:51Quiet!
00:31:21That's it! This table out!
00:31:36Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, and twenty-five!
00:31:43Okay, ladies, now for the bus line.
00:31:46Ready?
00:31:47Begin!
00:31:48We must! Two, three, four!
00:31:51We must develop our bus!
00:31:53The bigger, the better, the tighter, the smaller, the boys depend on us!
00:31:57That's with one arm!
00:31:58That's one side's growing faster than the other.
00:32:00You're still growing?
00:32:01I hope so!
00:32:02Come on, girls! Think big!
00:32:05We must! We must!
00:32:07We must develop our bus!
00:32:09The bigger, the better, the tighter, the smaller, the boys depend on us!
00:32:13Okay, ladies, now for the hips.
00:32:17T-N-A! T-N-A! T-N-A!
00:32:26I heard you going out with my brother!
00:32:41Probably! Who is he?
00:32:42Who is he?
00:32:43Tim.
00:32:43Tim Stevenson.
00:32:44Brown hair, brown eyes, purple rabbit's foot.
00:32:47That's him.
00:32:48He's cute.
00:32:50Up.
00:32:50Up.
00:32:51Up.
00:32:52Up.
00:32:53Up.
00:32:53Up.
00:33:12Up.
00:33:18One, two.
00:33:19One, two.
00:33:20One, two.
00:33:21One, two.
00:33:22One, two.
00:33:23Wham!
00:33:24Wham!
00:33:24Thank you, ma'am.
00:33:25Wham!
00:33:26Wham!
00:33:26Thank you, ma'am.
00:33:28I simply refuse to do this exercise.
00:33:30It's lewd, obscene, and nasty.
00:33:35One, two.
00:33:36One, two.
00:33:38One, two.
00:33:39One.
00:33:40testing testing one two three appear purity purity bush please come to the poolside immediately to
00:33:55see principal stuck up all right purity you're dismissed the rest of you once around the track
00:34:01and then into the pool oh no not today i have to run it so hard on the girl okay make that two laps
00:34:08it's just stuck up
00:34:34just stuck up
00:34:37oh
00:34:46oh
00:34:48oh
00:34:50oh
00:34:53oh
00:34:56oh
00:35:08oh
00:35:11oh my
00:35:13oh my
00:35:15oh
00:35:16oh my fairest angel my dream girl listen to the music i know that nerdy voice anyway
00:35:34oh
00:35:36oh
00:35:37oh
00:35:38oh
00:35:39you're prudential and make wild passionate love to me
00:35:42oh
00:35:43oh
00:35:44oh
00:35:45oh
00:35:46oh
00:35:47oh
00:35:48oh
00:35:49oh
00:35:50oh
00:35:51oh
00:35:52oh
00:35:53oh
00:35:54oh
00:35:58be wild with passion. Soon I will be with you, do exactly what I say.
00:36:14Strap!
00:36:16Yes!
00:36:18Oh no!
00:36:24Pretty my angel, it's me, Howie.
00:36:30Howie!
00:36:34Howie!
00:36:38Howie!
00:36:42Howie!
00:36:46Howie!
00:36:48Howie!
00:36:50Howie!
00:36:52Howie!
00:36:54Howie!
00:36:56Howie!
00:36:58Howie!
00:37:00Howie!
00:37:02Howie!
00:37:04Okay ladies, let him have it!
00:37:08And finally ladies, this is our new swimming facility.
00:37:16Howie!
00:37:24As you can see.
00:37:26It was only a joke.
00:37:28Yeah, like the time he dumped the barrel of frogs in the girls bathroom. I'm gonna get you, you pervert.
00:37:32Please have mercy. I'm sorry.
00:37:34Sorry? You were my favorite pair of red panties up the blindfold and you say you're sorry?
00:37:40What's happening here? Girls!
00:37:42Come on.
00:37:44Come on. I can't swim. Please. No. Please. No.
00:37:46Please. Help.
00:37:48No!
00:37:50No!
00:37:52No!
00:37:54No!
00:37:56No!
00:37:58No!
00:38:00No!
00:38:02No!
00:38:04No!
00:38:06No!
00:38:08No!
00:38:14No!
00:38:16No!
00:38:18No!
00:38:22No!
00:38:24No!
00:38:28No!
00:38:31I'm telling you guys, there were knockers everywhere.
00:38:44At least two of them must have been Purity's.
00:38:46Yeah, Howie.
00:38:47Well, I just lost my glasses and couldn't see, that's all.
00:38:50No way, Howie, you couldn't have seen them.
00:38:52My sis told me Purity was in Stuckoff's office the whole last period.
00:38:56Hey, that's a hot little sister you have.
00:38:59She's in my second period art class.
00:39:01I can't wait till we start some advanced figure drawing.
00:39:05Listen, Prince, watch it.
00:39:07Nobody messes with Tricia.
00:39:09Spare me.
00:39:14Sorry.
00:39:16Nice shot, Jerkowski.
00:39:19Hey, look who's here.
00:39:28Yeah, she thinks she owns that spot.
00:39:31She's there every day after school.
00:39:34Every day.
00:39:38Hey guys, I think I know how to get a shot at Purity, but I'll need your help.
00:39:43You've got it.
00:39:44Share her thing, big guy.
00:39:45Oh, when you...
00:39:46This picture is disgusting.
00:40:04Yeah, you're right.
00:40:06Sex.
00:40:07Sex.
00:40:08Sex.
00:40:09Yeah.
00:40:10Yeah.
00:40:10Don't look now, but I think Paul's masturbating.
00:40:23Make him stop.
00:40:25I can't.
00:40:26He's using my hand.
00:40:31Bye-bye.
00:40:32Hang on a second.
00:40:44All right.
00:40:45you all right
00:41:11mm-hmm this is fun huh yeah right
00:41:17what
00:41:27drunken slut you steal the master's wine you bitch i'll teach you
00:41:34mom is this movie 3d yes dear dirt dirt dirt
00:41:49hey what are all these
00:42:00i don't know it's my father's shirt really i just got him at your father
00:42:06like father like son
00:42:09hey tim you want to play a game uh sure what you want to play hide the salami
00:42:20uh okay
00:42:23come on let's go in back
00:42:27she's all right yeah they make great balloons
00:42:49let's get out
00:42:59let's get out
00:43:03let's get out
00:43:14let's get out
00:43:18what's your name
00:43:22did you hear that car i didn't hear a thing
00:43:37real champagne but of course is there any other kind
00:43:43that's got to be bread
00:43:45now get out of those filthy brads
00:43:47you draw water
00:43:51which one do you want warm in your bed
00:43:53we haven't even
00:43:54i wonder who tonight's victim is
00:44:01let me just shut
00:44:03oh my god it's my sister
00:44:09your sister
00:44:10i'll kill you
00:44:13i'll kill you
00:44:17you don't listen do you jerk off
00:44:19did somebody call me
00:44:20i said nobody touches trisha
00:44:28calm down pal
00:44:30calm down
00:44:31here's how i'm gonna calm down
00:44:32he poops under glass
00:44:36calm down
00:44:49calm down
00:44:50calm down
00:44:54calm down
00:44:56calm down
00:44:57calm down
00:45:12calm down
00:45:16calm down
00:45:28calm down
00:45:30calm down
00:45:32calm down
00:45:34calm down
00:45:52calm down
00:45:54calm down
00:46:12calm down
00:46:13calm down
00:46:14calm down
00:46:16calm down
00:46:18hey i saw that episode
00:46:19they didn't get that guy out for a month
00:46:22i'll sweat it will get you out
00:46:23how is he gonna see purity's boobs from underneath all that sand
00:46:27let alone breathe
00:46:29he will
00:46:30with this
00:46:32i rigged it up last night after the show
00:46:34i call it my super duper ruby snooper
00:46:37oh i can't wait
00:46:40the principal's stuccoff's office
00:46:49hello miss gevers
00:46:51yes
00:46:51yes this is mrs jerkovsky
00:46:54ethel
00:46:55you know melvin's mother
00:46:57yes yes
00:46:59i'm afraid my boy has come down with a terrible case of food poisoning
00:47:05oh my
00:47:08oh yes
00:47:08he jumped flat on his back
00:47:10yes yes
00:47:11yes well i'm afraid he won't be able to attend classes today
00:47:15no and please
00:47:16oh please please tell dear mr stuccoff that
00:47:19detention is simply out of the question
00:47:20yeah
00:47:22oh toodaloo
00:47:23bye
00:47:23there that should do it
00:47:26this calls for the van duzen finishing touch
00:47:30voila
00:47:32some people
00:47:33bye melchie
00:47:35come on
00:47:36here is a prime example of the amphibian family
00:47:56the frog
00:47:57notice the skin
00:47:59it's thin
00:48:00it's thin
00:48:00and moist
00:48:02and attached loosely to the body only at certain points
00:48:06brent would you care to examine these more closely
00:48:10now
00:48:11are you sure
00:48:12class
00:48:15the rest of you may go to lunch
00:48:17brent
00:48:17you've been slacking off lately
00:48:19i think perhaps you should stay after class
00:48:22you need a little extra tension
00:48:24you know
00:48:29i think you've needed this kind of
00:48:33private lesson for a long time
00:48:35hey this looks like a great place to play
00:48:43great eye
00:48:44i want you
00:49:06to touch
00:49:09see you
00:49:11and fully experience the essence of biology
00:49:16dr mr bell
00:49:18don't be so formal
00:49:20call me
00:49:21i gotta be a dream
00:49:26now i know i'm dreaming
00:49:35mind lighting my fire brent
00:49:38your fire
00:49:40yes
00:49:42the um
00:49:43bunsen burner
00:49:45never mind
00:49:47bunsen burner
00:49:48i'll take care of it
00:49:50oh shit
00:49:53cut it out
00:49:55you mangy mutt
00:49:57you'll spoil everything
00:50:01oh shit
00:50:07makes it much more romantic this way
00:50:18don't you think so
00:50:21don't you think so
00:50:21my favorite
00:50:33meldified
00:50:35oh it just makes me crazy
00:50:38you're so hot
00:50:42i can't believe how hot you are
00:50:50i can't believe how hot you are
00:51:12hello
00:51:19hello
00:51:20darn
00:51:27i'm so hot
00:51:30i can't believe how hot you are
00:51:34no
00:51:35no
00:51:36no
00:51:37no
00:51:38no
00:51:39no
00:51:40no
00:51:40no
00:51:41no
00:51:42no
00:51:43no
00:51:44no
00:51:45no
00:51:46no
00:51:47no
00:51:48no
00:51:49no
00:51:50no
00:51:50no
00:51:51She's gone into the air, I know she's out there, somewhere
00:51:58I'm not the one who's there, better be my baby today
00:52:03I'm just feeling it, I'm not the one who's there
00:52:12I'm just feeling it, I'm not the one who's there
00:52:15Oh, shit
00:52:24Hey Vince, howdy guys, it's my morning, get the sent browsing fee
00:52:34Aw, come on, give us a break, look at that
00:52:37Let's get anything new in
00:52:40Hey, got a brand new shipping of spanking films in from Tijuana, check them out
00:52:45Excuse me, is this coming to Junior?
00:52:48Uh, sorry pal, had a rush on him just this morning
00:52:50So what's this?
00:52:52Hardware
00:52:53Uh, on sale this week for only $9.95 and it's safety tested, you well approved for your convenience
00:52:58Stay home for 10 days, put a little mileage on it, ha ha
00:53:02Then come back and tell me that wasn't the best damn time she ever had
00:53:06Uh, excuse me, how much is this?
00:53:08A buck an inch
00:53:10Hey, chubby, pick him out and bring him up
00:53:17Guy thinks it's a London library
00:53:20Take it from me, kid, Vince, the prince of porn
00:53:23You need cream, I'm talking Dr. G-String special erotic cream
00:53:27And an extra string, Spanish fly, for that extra superb bulge
00:53:31Excuse me, sir, do these come with a guarantee?
00:53:34Fudge off, will ya?
00:53:36Who was that masked man anyways?
00:53:41Uh, Vince, do you think you need a stock boy?
00:53:44Here, Vinny, this ought to take care of everything
00:53:46Come again?
00:53:48Can't come, breathe heavy
00:53:49A lot of fun
00:53:50A lot of fun
00:53:51Thank you
00:53:56Bye
00:53:57Come on, Melby
00:54:03And there we have it, ladies and gentlemen
00:54:07The school can be very proud of this latest addition
00:54:11Our very own airplane repair shop
00:54:14And now, before we take off and celebrate
00:54:19I want to particularly thank Mrs. Roach's home economics class
00:54:24For providing the delightful punch, cookies, and finger sandwiches
00:54:30Hey, here's one with the bread
00:54:32Moron
00:54:33So, without further ado, let the festivities begin
00:54:38Okay, it's my turn to take a shot at Purity
00:54:47Just remember to keep her busy when I juice up the punch
00:54:51Got you covered, Brent
00:54:53Hold on, Evan
00:55:03Hello, Purity
00:55:04May I have the honor of getting you a glass of punch?
00:55:07Well
00:55:08It's my privilege
00:55:10Thank you
00:55:11Oh, Purity
00:55:12Oh
00:55:13What song are you going to sing at the homecoming game?
00:55:15Our national anthem, Rick
00:55:18Really?
00:55:20How interesting, because it's always been one of my favorites
00:55:22Really?
00:55:23Yeah
00:55:24You know that
00:55:26Sorry
00:55:29Oh my God
00:55:30The TNA orgy
00:55:31Here's tea and purity
00:55:32Bottoms up
00:55:33I'll drink to that
00:55:34I'll drink to that
00:55:35Oh
00:55:36Oh
00:55:37Oh
00:55:38Oh
00:55:39Oh
00:55:40Oh
00:55:42Cheers
00:55:43So uh
00:55:44About last night
00:55:46Oh
00:55:47Oh
00:55:48How are they?
00:55:49They'll live
00:55:50They'll never play the piano again
00:55:51Oh
00:55:52Oh
00:55:53Bye
00:55:54Bye
00:55:55Cheers
00:55:56Cheers
00:55:571
00:55:581
00:55:592
00:56:003
00:56:011
00:56:022
00:56:033
00:56:044
00:56:051
00:56:061
00:56:071
00:56:081
00:56:091
00:56:102
00:56:111
00:56:122
00:56:133
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00:58:162
00:58:172
00:58:18out guys what you afraid to take us on you mean boys against girls yeah yeah i'm up for that
00:58:25oh that's old business not for me yeah well i got a little something to make it a little
00:58:29more interesting uh-oh how about the game of strip bowling strip bowling
00:58:36shake it up
00:59:06shake it up
00:59:36I don't know.
01:00:06I don't know.
01:00:36I don't know.
01:00:38I don't know.
01:00:40You're getting out!
01:00:41Will you guys help?
01:00:43Okay, Brent, Tim, pull from the rear, Mel and I'll get the front.
01:00:48Okay?
01:00:49We'll tear that sucker off.
01:00:50Okay, pull.
01:00:51You're pulling from the wrong ball.
01:01:01I know.
01:01:02I'll whack it off.
01:01:03No!
01:01:04I have hacks out in the car.
01:01:05No!
01:01:06Hey, guys.
01:01:07This always works.
01:01:08No!
01:01:09We've got a better idea.
01:01:11Come on, girls.
01:01:13Howie!
01:01:14Howie!
01:01:15Howie!
01:01:16Howie!
01:01:18Howie!
01:01:19Howie!
01:01:21Howie!
01:01:34Howie!
01:01:36Howie!
01:01:39Howie!
01:01:54Gee, girls.
01:01:57Thanks.
01:02:00My first strike.
01:02:06Howie!
01:02:10Howie!
01:02:12I am Miss Heartcrier, your substitute teacher
01:02:42for today.
01:02:43Oh, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, I just love clothes, don't you?
01:02:50Oh, yes.
01:02:51Oh, my God.
01:02:52I am sure this morning's class would be absolutely delightful.
01:02:59Oh, Miss Roach, sorry she couldn't make it, but it seems she's all tied up.
01:03:05Now, girls, it's time we get you all measured up for your finest.
01:03:11We want your homecoming formals to fit you just right.
01:03:18So, line up, girlies, and we'll size you up.
01:03:21Should we take off our tops?
01:03:23Yes, yes, yes.
01:03:24Yes, I'd have to say yes, yes.
01:03:27Please, please take off the tops.
01:03:30Please, come on.
01:03:32Hurry.
01:03:33Please.
01:03:34Please.
01:03:35Please.
01:03:36Please.
01:03:37Line up, girl.
01:03:39Oh, my God.
01:03:41Please.
01:03:43Please.
01:03:45Please.
01:03:47Please.
01:03:49Leiner Pioch.
01:03:51He goes very nice.
01:03:53Oh, my God.
01:03:55Very nice.
01:03:57Very nice.
01:03:59Oh, my God.
01:04:01Very nice, Frau.
01:04:03Oh, my God.
01:04:05Very nice, Frau.
01:04:07Very nice, Frau.
01:04:09Ten.
01:04:11Very nice. Thank you.
01:04:13Oh, yes.
01:04:15Very nice. Thirty-six.
01:04:17Biggie, biggie, biggie.
01:04:19Next.
01:04:21Very nice.
01:04:23Do-do-do-do-do.
01:04:25Next.
01:04:29Bye.
01:04:31Sorry, Miss Farquhar, but I'm not wearing a bra today.
01:04:33Oh, I see. You knotting little girl.
01:04:35It's quite all right.
01:04:37Please.
01:04:38Not wearing a bra?
01:04:40Left it at the drive-in, perhaps?
01:04:41Now, girls, let's not be catty.
01:04:44We have a lot of work to do today.
01:04:54I think I know these hands.
01:04:57Shut up.
01:04:58Your next, Purity.
01:05:00You're ready.
01:05:02Remember!
01:05:03Go!
01:05:04Any!
01:05:05Oh.
01:05:06But...
01:05:07Oh.
01:05:08Uh-oh.
01:05:09Help!
01:05:10Oh.
01:05:11Oh.
01:05:12It's...
01:05:13Oh.
01:05:14Ah!
01:05:17Oh!
01:05:19Ah!
01:05:20Ah!
01:05:21Ah!
01:05:22Ah!
01:05:23Ah!
01:05:24Oh.
01:05:25Ooh.
01:05:26Oh.
01:05:27Ah!
01:05:28Ah!
01:05:29Fuck a duck, it's rude!
01:05:47I predict pain!
01:05:59Thank you, thank you!
01:06:14Thank you!
01:06:21Thank you!
01:06:23Thank you!
01:06:29Thank you!
01:06:36Thank you!
01:06:38Thank you!
01:06:44Thank you!
01:06:48Thank you!
01:06:55Thank you!
01:06:57Thank you!
01:07:03Thank you!
01:07:04Thank you!
01:07:05Thank you!
01:07:06Thank you!
01:07:07Thank you!
01:07:08Thank you!
01:07:09Thank you!
01:07:10Thank you!
01:07:11Thank you!
01:07:12Thank you!
01:07:13Now, if you want to follow her career, she'll be up to my place a little bit later.
01:07:20Seriously, folks, I don't want to say this next girl is really built, but the first time
01:07:25I removed her bra, I found a family of pygmies living in there!
01:07:30Ah!
01:07:31Get off the stage!
01:07:32Yeah!
01:07:33Bring on the tent!
01:07:34Well, actually, most girls like to bring them on themselves.
01:07:36So, without further delay, Buck Flamingo is proud to present the girl that was most likely
01:07:41to put an end to world hunger, Miss Anna Tomiko!
01:07:44What?!
01:07:45Stop!
01:07:51Ah!
01:07:52Oh!
01:07:54Well done!
01:07:59Well done!
01:08:03Oh, definitely!
01:08:06Oh!
01:08:07Okay, man!
01:08:08Wow!
01:08:09Yeah...
01:08:10Oh!
01:08:11Oh, I can't believe these figures.
01:08:36She's breaking the laws of gravity.
01:08:38You're breaking my ass.
01:08:43That prod is making everything go up.
01:08:44Fan-fucking-task.
01:08:46I'm a fucking little.
01:08:55Get up there, Tim.
01:09:04She's your kind of gal.
01:09:05She looks like everybody's kind of gal.
01:09:08Yeah, all at once.
01:09:10Hey, this is your big night, buddy, boy.
01:09:11Hey, baby, why don't you bring those over here?
01:09:14I want them to meet a friend of mine.
01:09:16His name's Abe Lincoln.
01:09:17She's coming.
01:09:18She's coming.
01:09:19Come try you.
01:09:19Give her the money.
01:09:20Five dollars.
01:09:26Five dollars.
01:09:27Take it.
01:09:31Please.
01:09:32Take it.
01:09:33Where's she going?
01:09:35Maybe we should give her 20.
01:09:36Look who it is.
01:10:00Who's stuck off?
01:10:02Check it out.
01:10:03Look at that girl.
01:10:06It's so high.
01:10:07Do you believe in that?
01:10:08I think we're witnessing history in the making.
01:10:10That's all.
01:10:11We better record this for posterity.
01:10:13Question about it?
01:10:14Here, sweetie.
01:10:14Let's get a shot.
01:10:15Come on.
01:10:16Take that picture.
01:10:24All right.
01:10:24We got it.
01:10:25Our passport to freedom.
01:10:27No more detention.
01:10:28We're going to hold this over Stuckoff's head.
01:10:31Isn't that blackmail?
01:10:32Yeah.
01:10:33Hey, Tchaikovsky.
01:10:34Just think.
01:10:35You won't have to freeze your ass off anymore.
01:10:37You can choke the chicken right in Stuckoff's private office.
01:10:40I never thought of that.
01:10:42Here's your breakfast, guys.
01:10:47Uh, Rhonda, I didn't order any sausage.
01:10:50Only eggs.
01:10:51Well, there's no problem.
01:10:52Well, we can fix that.
01:11:02That's incredible.
01:11:05Will you marry me?
01:11:13Oh, drag.
01:11:14If it isn't Miss Purity Bush joining us for breakfast.
01:11:17Homecoming special, please.
01:11:37Just lost my hat.
01:11:44Here you go.
01:11:45Hey, hey, hey, look.
01:11:46She ordered sausage.
01:11:49She can do that, too.
01:11:51Rhonda did it.
01:11:52Bootsy sure as hell can do it.
01:11:54What, did you think Purity's going to do it?
01:11:55Pipe down.
01:11:56She's going for it.
01:12:06Here goes.
01:12:11Oh.
01:12:12That does it.
01:12:13We can't let this go on.
01:12:15Well, what can we do?
01:12:16We haven't been able to get her so far.
01:12:17All right, all right.
01:12:18Howie and I have got an idea, and this time is full.
01:12:22Bootsy, Rhonda, come over here.
01:12:27Now, listen.
01:12:28This is our final chance, right?
01:12:30And there's only one thing we haven't tried.
01:12:33What's that?
01:12:37Magnetism.
01:12:37I was a boom-bop, I was a boom-bop, but I'm sure to shake her down.
01:13:01I was a boom-bop, bop, bop, bop that beat around.
01:13:05Yes, I was a boom-bop, but I'll never stop.
01:13:08I got a boom-bop beat on the round.
01:13:10I was a boom-bop, bop, bop, bop that beat around.
01:13:13Hey, hey.
01:13:13I was a boom-bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop that beat around.
01:13:22Yes, I was a boom-bop, bop, bop that beat around.
01:13:35Yes, I was a boom-bop, but I'll never stop.
01:13:39I got a boom-bop beat on the round.
01:13:40I was a boom-bop, bop, bop that beat around.
01:13:44Hey, hey.
01:13:59I was a boom-bop, I was a boom-bop, but I'm sure to shake her down.
01:14:03I was a boom-bop, bop, bop that beat around.
01:14:07Yes, I was a boom-bop, but I'll never stop.
01:14:10I got a boom-bop beat on the ground.
01:14:12I was a boom-bop, bop, bop that beat around.
01:14:14Bump that beat around
01:14:44Bump that beat around
01:15:14I hope you realize I gave up my Friday night cruising for this
01:15:31Don't worry, we're in for quite a memorable show
01:15:35Oh, and memories deserve to be recorded
01:15:37Keep those creepers, it's the road's boat
01:15:44TNA is proud to say that TNA goes all the way
01:16:04Testing? Testing?
01:16:10One, two, three
01:16:11Is this thing on? Is this thing working?
01:16:14How's it going down there? Is everything all set?
01:16:17Ready when you are
01:16:19Good evening, and welcome to our annual homecoming game
01:16:24Before we start, I'm sure that each one of you would like to join with me in thanking Mrs. Roach
01:16:29Who, despite a recent mishap, has made this event the biggest and best ever
01:16:37Bigger than you think, Stackhouse
01:16:39And now, it is my pleasure to present to you this year's homecoming queen
01:16:44Miss Purity Bush, who will honor us by singing our national anthem
01:16:49Thanks so much, Principal Stuckoff
01:16:59And to all you students and teachers who have made my four years at Taft and Adams the best time in my life
01:17:06Tonight, I would like to perform for you in order to show my gratitude
01:17:10Can't wait to see your gratitude
01:17:13And now, will you all please ride
01:17:17God, I hope Tchaikovsky doesn't take that the wrong way
01:17:20Oh, say can you see
01:17:25By the dawn's early light
01:17:28What so proudly we hailed
01:17:32At the twilight's last gleaming
01:17:35And the rocket's red glare
01:17:38The bombs bursting in air
01:17:42Gave proof through the night
01:17:45That our flag was still there
01:17:49Oh, say does that star-spangled
01:17:53The halloween yet wave
01:17:57By the dawn's early light
01:18:01Oh, say does that star-spangled
01:18:05The halloween yet wave
01:18:09The halloween yet wave
01:18:12The halloween yet wave
01:18:14The halloween yet wave
01:18:16The halloween yet wave
01:18:17The halloween yet wave
01:18:18The halloween yet wave
01:18:19The halloween yet wave
01:18:20The halloween yet wave
01:18:21The halloween yet wave
01:18:22The halloween yet wave
01:18:23The halloween yet wave
01:18:24The halloween yet wave
01:18:25The halloween yet wave
01:18:26The halloween yet wave
01:18:27The halloween yet wave
01:18:28The halloween yet wave
01:18:29The halloween yet wave
01:18:30The halloween yet wave
01:18:31The halloween yet wave
01:18:32The halloween yet wave
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