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The Three Badasses Who Want Me – Full HD Movie
Transcript
00:00:00Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list, arrives at Atlanta today.
00:00:06What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:00:10Angela, my next door neighbor, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:15If your mother-in-law sees, she's gonna throw a Bigfoot again.
00:00:20Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:00:23What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply
00:00:26it to your penniless self?
00:00:28And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:00:32All right, everybody get out!
00:00:35We got an important guest coming!
00:00:39You!
00:00:44You deaf, I said pack up and scram!
00:00:47I paid this off here already, and if you want me to leave, then fine,
00:00:50but you have to compensate for today's losses.
00:00:54You want to say that again?
00:00:58You know who's visiting today?
00:01:00Ellen freaking Musk!
00:01:01One of the richest people in the world!
00:01:03Ellen Musk?
00:01:05Of course a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:01:07Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:01:11Really?
00:01:12Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market.
00:01:17You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:01:23Coming to see you!
00:01:24All right, you know what?
00:01:26I'll play your game.
00:01:28If she does this so much as give you a glance,
00:01:30I'll eat dirt.
00:01:35Deal.
00:01:43Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within 10 minutes, or else you're fired.
00:01:58Prepare the limo.
00:02:09Ms. Lockhart requires this immediately.
00:02:18Ah, you're 10 minutes.
00:02:19You're so messed up.
00:02:19Good.
00:02:20Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:02:23Five, four, three, two, one.
00:02:35Ellen, uh, I mean, Ms. Musk, Ellen, uh, I mean, uh, I'm sorry that I, uh, sorry to frighten you.
00:02:43What?
00:02:45How's my boss, bitch?
00:02:46Kickin' ass, girlfriend.
00:02:48So how do you, like...
00:02:52She's my boss.
00:02:54I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:02:58No way.
00:03:02Well?
00:03:06No.
00:03:06No.
00:03:07No.
00:03:08No, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss.
00:03:09No, I won't do it again.
00:03:13All right, that's enough.
00:03:15We're not tyrants here.
00:03:23Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:03:25You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:03:33My runaway bride.
00:03:36You made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker.
00:03:41Who are you?
00:03:44Where is she?
00:03:46Atlanta.
00:03:47And you were right.
00:03:48It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:03:50My clever bride.
00:03:52I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:03:55You're right.
00:03:59Max, prep the jet.
00:04:01I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:04:07Dr. Wilson, that means Sterling's on the move.
00:04:09He's headed to Atlanta.
00:04:10Atlanta?
00:04:11The game is afoot.
00:04:12I'm going.
00:04:14Wait, Dr. Wilson, the Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:04:16He can wait.
00:04:17I need to pick up my bride.
00:04:23Dr. Wilson!
00:04:25General Eisenhower reporting.
00:04:31Who?
00:04:33Devon Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
00:04:36Atlanta!
00:04:38Where is that?
00:04:40Whatever, prepare my warplank.
00:04:42Dosu going after my fiance.
00:04:44This is war.
00:04:53I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper, to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project,
00:05:06like you asked me to.
00:05:07Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:05:09This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:05:13That project is worth billions.
00:05:14He can finally take his company public.
00:05:16But Angela, my boss, I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever
00:05:24revealing your true identity.
00:05:27Without your backing, no offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:05:32Well, three years ago...
00:05:34You saved me.
00:05:55He saved me and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:06:03I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being
00:06:07with a billionaire heiress.
00:06:10But now, with this contract, I feel like we'll be on more equal footing and then
00:06:15I can finally come out to the public.
00:06:17So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:06:21I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:06:25But why work at the flea market?
00:06:28Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:06:31Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find.
00:06:37Plus, I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom.
00:06:41You seem happy being a housewife.
00:06:47Where the hell are you?
00:06:48Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:06:52Get home stat.
00:06:53It's a big day today.
00:06:56That was...
00:06:58My mother-in-law, Carol, she judges me because she thinks I come from a lower-class family.
00:07:03But she's going to be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:07:09You know, she even remembered her third year anniversary.
00:07:17Please spend more time with my son.
00:07:21Hi, I'm home.
00:07:23I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:07:26Finally, you're back. Now sign the divorce papers.
00:07:31Divorce papers.
00:07:34Is this some sort of misunderstanding, Mom?
00:07:38God, don't call me Mom again.
00:07:41We're ending that relationship.
00:07:43Just look at you. Dirt all over.
00:07:46You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:07:48You don't deserve my son. You're way below his league.
00:07:53I'm below his league?
00:07:54That's right.
00:07:56You are.
00:07:56Jared is signing a $100 billion contract tomorrow with THE Ellen Musk, and then his company's going public.
00:08:06That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:08:09But you? You're still just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:08:15Jared's like the king in the clouds.
00:08:17And you...
00:08:17You will always just be a pawn.
00:08:22Like dirt on our shoes.
00:08:26Dirt on your shoes?
00:08:29But Ellen Musk works for me.
00:08:31Ha!
00:08:32You're delusional.
00:08:34You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:08:37How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here.
00:08:43Resorting to lies is definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:08:46And who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:08:54You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:08:59Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee, not a lowlife dirtbag.
00:09:03Enough!
00:09:04Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:09:09But I am.
00:09:12Don't fight it, Angela.
00:09:13Here's 500k.
00:09:16You'll never make this much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:09:20Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave.
00:09:23Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:09:27I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:09:32Did that not mean anything to you?
00:09:34I didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:09:38Fine. Here's another 200,000.
00:09:40500,000 is too much for her already.
00:09:44She's done nothing.
00:09:46Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:09:49She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:09:52Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:09:55I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:09:59You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
00:10:05And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench.
00:10:09A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO?
00:10:12What a joke.
00:10:13If you actually love my son, you'll sign the damn divorce papers already and leave.
00:10:23You really think that Jared would have gotten that Mabel Plaza bid without me,
00:10:28let alone taking the company public?
00:10:31I did everything for you, Jared.
00:10:33Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:10:41It's all my work, baby.
00:10:46We're gonna be late for the auction if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:10:52Yes. You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:10:58So, she's the reason for the divorce.
00:11:02She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:11:06Fine. I'll sign it.
00:11:10But don't regret it.
00:11:13Regret? Do you know who I am?
00:11:16Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:11:20I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:11:25Jared winning the bid at Mabel Plaza was because of my dad.
00:11:30Because he's business partners with Elon Musk.
00:11:34It's part of the power that I have as an elite.
00:11:38You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:11:42Social stratum matters.
00:11:44Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:11:46And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:11:51And you really think Elon Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:11:56Ha! You're delusional.
00:11:58Now sign the peepers and scram!
00:12:01You own me, you dirty bitch. You sicken me.
00:12:15You hit me.
00:12:20Now sign the papers, take your check, and get the fuck out!
00:12:23I don't need your penny money.
00:12:42We're finished.
00:12:44You don't want the money that's your loss.
00:12:47Your check is just pennies to me.
00:12:50But I would like my ring back.
00:12:52Wow.
00:13:02Have fun on your economy flight while I catch you right on my private helicopter out of here.
00:13:07And I'm way out of your league.
00:13:20Isn't that the Winston blue diamond ring?
00:13:23It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:13:27Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:13:30Something she found at the flea market.
00:13:32You're right. She could never afford anything so expensive.
00:13:38Congrats, Jared Boo Boo, on getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:13:44Oh, my dad says there's going to be a secret big shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:13:51Bigger big shot than Elon Musk?
00:13:53Yeah. And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:13:57Oh, everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:14:02Uh, Angela? Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia, wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:14:22Vanderbilt?
00:14:22Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies. Basically our employee.
00:14:27Oh, okay. I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow. It's fine.
00:14:29Well, you're still going to the summit tomorrow? But you and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:14:34That's exactly why I'm going.
00:14:41Angela Lockhart. I finally found you.
00:15:02Who is he?
00:15:04That? That's Devin Sterling. He's number one on Forbes 30 under 30 list and early investor of crypto,
00:15:12CEO of Sterling Enterprises. Rumor has that he's worth trillions.
00:15:16And he's your fiancé.
00:15:20What? What? My fiancé?
00:15:22The one and only.
00:15:26So, after running away and leaving me single for three years,
00:15:31have you figured out how you're going to make it up to me yet, babe?
00:15:35That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:15:49What is she doing here?
00:15:54You skank. My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:15:59Divorced?
00:16:03That's right. So, I guess this was never meant to be Mr. Sterling.
00:16:10Devin Sterling.
00:16:13So, she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:16:16Guess she's not just a forsaken woman. She's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:16:22How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:16:27Who the fuck are you, bitch? Do you know who I am?
00:16:33They don't know who you are. You hide it well.
00:16:38X-Team! Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:43Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:45Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York.
00:16:53You forgot to bring the security team.
00:17:01Mind if I borrow your men?
00:17:03I'll have to.
00:17:08Toss these ill-mannered apes out.
00:17:10Oh, you bitch. I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:17:20A kiss as a reward, my lady.
00:17:24No.
00:17:25Uh, guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:17:35You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffet, old money like me.
00:17:40Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:17:43Pleased to meet you all.
00:17:45Your families all started empires after the industrial revolution. What an honor.
00:17:49I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project.
00:17:52It's worth billions of dollars.
00:17:54Congrats. You'll be next.
00:17:57But we haven't received the contract yet. We deserve it.
00:18:00Pardon me.
00:18:00Oh, that's nothing. I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:18:04Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:18:07So, I thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:18:11Thank you, Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:18:12Now, we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:18:17Yes, I heard they're a very important and powerful guest,
00:18:21even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:18:24Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot, we can feast for generations.
00:18:33Up to my best.
00:18:34Excuse me, second gentleman.
00:18:42What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:18:47How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:18:49Me, a hobo.
00:18:51How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:18:54You sleep your way in?
00:18:55I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:18:58Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:19:02Don't flatter yourself.
00:19:06This is your ex-husband?
00:19:10What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:19:12Who the hell is this?
00:19:14You were cheating on me?
00:19:28Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:19:31That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:19:37They even took Kaylee's tiara!
00:19:39You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:19:56Get your hands off of her!
00:20:01My lady.
00:20:09My queen.
00:20:28It's...
00:20:30It's him!
00:20:32He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday!
00:20:35Who are these peasants?
00:20:37These seats are reserved for the Ellen Musk and her special guest!
00:20:42Oh, shut up, old man.
00:20:45You're disturbing the peace.
00:20:49Fuckers, you know who that is?
00:20:51That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:20:52You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:20:55His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America.
00:20:59The Civil War would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:21:03Vanderbilt.
00:21:04The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt.
00:21:09Who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:21:14That, Lolly Vanderbilt family?
00:21:16Oh, goddammit, a stomach ache now?
00:21:30Whatever.
00:21:31Angela can handle herself.
00:21:32She'll be fine.
00:21:33How dare you call one of us low?
00:21:48I'm Harvey F. M. Buffett, the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:21:53I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:21:58And I can wipe you out with a strand of my hair.
00:22:01Not with me around.
00:22:04I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:22:08You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:22:14You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:22:16We've had enough of your games.
00:22:18Security!
00:22:20Break their limbs and toss them out.
00:22:22Looks like the old guard is teaming up against you.
00:22:25But don't worry, you got new money here.
00:22:31I can handle myself, thank you.
00:22:32Yes, my great.
00:22:35You're all despicable.
00:22:38An insult to your family names.
00:22:43Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:22:47Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:22:49Cut off all business ties.
00:22:52And if you don't, I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:23:00I knew it.
00:23:01You're here to fuck with me.
00:23:02You can't fool anyone here.
00:23:04How much money did you spend on that getup to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:23:08You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:23:13You have nothing, and you will always be nothing.
00:23:17She's a gold digger.
00:23:20Gold digger.
00:23:21Gigolo.
00:23:23Want to try me for a night?
00:23:26Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:23:27Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:23:31They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:23:34Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:23:35She's only here to try and ruin my bill in the Maple Plaza project.
00:23:38Oh, I'm gonna kill that sushi chef!
00:23:41Security!
00:23:47Security!
00:23:47You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:23:52And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:23:55You!
00:23:57Insolent fools.
00:23:59Let me guess, you're that special guest?
00:24:03I don't know.
00:24:04Throw them out!
00:24:06And not without some broken bones, too.
00:24:15Back down, Max.
00:24:16Back down, Max.
00:24:20I got this.
00:24:37Whoa!
00:24:37What the hell are you two doing here?
00:24:50I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:24:51No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:24:55Oh my god, we're so screwed.
00:25:06Angela!
00:25:06Angela! Don't hurt her.
00:25:09You bitch. I've always been sick of you.
00:25:11You just threw yourself at me.
00:25:13How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:25:15Boss?
00:25:16Did you say her boss?
00:25:18Miss Musk.
00:25:20That's Ellen Musk?
00:25:21That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:25:24My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:25:28Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:25:30Past the American Revolution?
00:25:32Back to the Renaissance.
00:25:33If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:25:38That's Lady Lockhart to you.
00:25:39She's royalty.
00:25:40And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:25:44What the hell do you do?
00:25:46Kneel to me.
00:25:47Oh, your majesty.
00:25:51Welcome to the United States.
00:25:54We've always been your loyal subject.
00:25:57Yes, your highness.
00:25:58Is it the queen or princess?
00:26:01It doesn't matter.
00:26:02My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:26:06Oh yes, we didn't mean to offend.
00:26:08What are you doing, idiot?
00:26:10Let go of the boss, lady, and beg for forgiveness.
00:26:23What rightfully belongs to you.
00:26:25She's a badass herself.
00:26:44He missed out on a good wife.
00:26:46You, you, you told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:26:51Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time.
00:26:53No, no, don't believe their lies.
00:26:55I worked hard for everything.
00:26:57You worked for everything?
00:27:04Hi, Henry.
00:27:04So, our third year anniversary is coming up, and I thought that maybe we can do something
00:27:10special this year.
00:27:11I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:27:13I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project, and if I get it, I can take the
00:27:18company public.
00:27:21Oh my god.
00:27:27You were nothing before me.
00:27:30All your achievements, all your glory, that's all mine.
00:27:34including the Maple Plaza contract.
00:27:38I can take all of that away, just like that.
00:27:42No, you can't take that away from me.
00:27:44So that's why Elon Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody.
00:27:48Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:27:52Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:27:54It was Queen Victoria's, and its worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:28:04Oh, I gave you back the ring?
00:28:08I divorced a royal heiress?
00:28:10No!
00:28:11No, please!
00:28:13No!
00:28:13No, please take me back, baby!
00:28:15I still love you!
00:28:20Oh man, looks like they started the party without us.
00:28:23No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower!
00:28:32Guard these two again.
00:28:34Did he say, is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:28:37President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:28:39After General Eisenhower won World War II, each of his descendants have all gone on to become
00:28:43five-star generals, the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:28:46Glad you buffoons know your history.
00:28:48Sorry, I'm late, babe.
00:28:49I got lost trying to find Atlanta, then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:28:58And that there is, that is the legendary boy genius, Dr. Wilson.
00:29:03He's Dr. House's protege.
00:29:05Dr. House?
00:29:06Yes.
00:29:07I thought that was just a TV show.
00:29:08Oh no, that's based on real figure.
00:29:10Yep, that's me.
00:29:12Son of James House.
00:29:13Dr. House, he's practically my uncle.
00:29:15I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him when I was just 12 years old.
00:29:20So he's been off crying himself a waterfall somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 14 years.
00:29:25And I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop.
00:29:33Hey, Alan.
00:29:34Who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:29:37Uh, they're all your fiancés.
00:29:41What?
00:29:42Fiancés?
00:29:43Plural?
00:29:46Fiancés?
00:29:47Plural?
00:29:49Watch it, nerds.
00:29:51I'm her fiancée.
00:29:52No, I'm her fiancée.
00:29:53You can both shut up.
00:29:55I'm her fiancée.
00:29:56It's you.
00:29:57It's me.
00:29:58Who the hell is he?
00:30:00I'm Spider-Man.
00:30:01How are all three of these men my fiancés?
00:30:07Uh, your father had arranged these engagements years ago, but I didn't tell you because you
00:30:11decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time.
00:30:14She has three badass fiancés and she marries his dumbass.
00:30:21Whatever.
00:30:21Since you're all here, help me finish them.
00:30:27Since you're all here, help me finish them.
00:30:32At your service.
00:30:34Me too.
00:30:36Oh!
00:30:36Oh!
00:30:38Oh!
00:30:40One down, two more to go.
00:30:42She's become queen.
00:30:43Bishop to G4.
00:30:45The most German fest and water in the Nile River.
00:30:58Ruck to A8.
00:31:04Hello.
00:31:07I thought I was king.
00:31:09No, you wish.
00:31:10The king doesn't do anything, so Ellen can be my king.
00:31:14Oh, fine.
00:31:19Bankrupt the forwards right this second.
00:31:26Hey!
00:31:28I've been bankrupt!
00:31:30No!
00:31:31Who is?
00:31:38I've been bankrupt!
00:31:39No!
00:31:40I told you I would remove all of you from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:31:45Well, guess what?
00:31:47Game over.
00:31:48All right, boys.
00:31:49Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:31:51Oh, that's serious business.
00:31:53I'm right with you.
00:31:56Wait for me!
00:31:57Nobody beats me to the finish line!
00:31:59Angela!
00:32:08Angela!
00:32:11You already have three fiancés?
00:32:14You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:32:16I...
00:32:17want compensation.
00:32:21You greedy SOB.
00:32:23Who the fuck is that?
00:32:24My ex-husband.
00:32:26Wait.
00:32:26You were married?
00:32:28Yeah.
00:32:28And if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:32:33More for me.
00:32:34No, no.
00:32:34Of course not.
00:32:35Just...
00:32:36Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:32:39Don't steal my joke!
00:32:40I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:32:42All evidence of your past with him will be gone.
00:32:46What?
00:32:46Is there something on my face?
00:32:48Uh, yeah.
00:32:49Murderous intent.
00:32:50Let's remarry.
00:32:53Let's remarry.
00:32:55You still don't realize.
00:32:58I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:33:02I don't know.
00:33:32Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:33:35Okay, I'm on my way.
00:33:39She should be okay now.
00:33:44Hey, you!
00:33:46Watch over here.
00:33:47I'll be right back.
00:33:48You saved me.
00:34:00Fuck.
00:34:02I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:05Fuck.
00:34:06I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:09You've cheated on me.
00:34:10You've hit me.
00:34:12And you've insulted me.
00:34:13And after all that,
00:34:15I never want to see you again.
00:34:17I fucking hate you.
00:34:20Little lady Larkheim.
00:34:22God, what now?
00:34:24Oh, yes.
00:34:26We understand that you are a very busy person,
00:34:29but if you're not going to give your ex-husband
00:34:31the Maple Plaza project...
00:34:33How about us three?
00:34:34Yes, unlike that scumbag,
00:34:36we won't turn on your own.
00:34:39Yeah, no.
00:34:40You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:34:42But...
00:34:43This is your fault, you doofus.
00:34:45We never should have believed your bullshit.
00:34:47No.
00:34:49No.
00:34:50We can't lose our positions
00:34:52with Elon Musk and the Lockhart.
00:34:55I'll help me.
00:34:57I'll get you for this.
00:34:58I never should have listened to you.
00:35:06I'm ruined because of you.
00:35:21So, what's the situation here?
00:35:24I want to marry you.
00:35:28I only met you guys a few hours ago
00:35:41and I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:35:44But what if I told you
00:35:46that we've known each other for much longer
00:35:49than just a few hours?
00:35:51Much longer.
00:35:55Angela, your parents would like to have a video
00:35:58call with all of you.
00:36:03My lovely princess, how are you?
00:36:06Look, your mother and I are in Italy.
00:36:08The views here are absolutely stunning.
00:36:11Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:36:13I heard you finally divorced
00:36:16that good-for-nothing, blood-sucking,
00:36:19three-letter husband of yours.
00:36:21Can't call his name, but...
00:36:23Anyway, congratulations.
00:36:25I've selected three prime young men
00:36:28for you to choose from to replace him.
00:36:30Oh, you must pick one of them to marry.
00:36:33Otherwise...
00:36:34Let me do it.
00:36:36You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:36:39Otherwise, we'll kill ourselves.
00:36:43Mom!
00:36:43All right, honey.
00:36:45That's it.
00:36:47Bye.
00:36:48Bye.
00:36:52So, who are you going to choose?
00:36:56Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:37:01Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:37:05That seems greedy.
00:37:14But...
00:37:15I can always remove the other two options.
00:37:19Hey, I may be a doctor,
00:37:22but I can take lives too.
00:37:23I know and have access
00:37:25to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:37:28Whoa, okay.
00:37:29No murder, please.
00:37:30I was just kidding.
00:37:33We have seven days to win her over.
00:37:36Ooh.
00:37:37It's like the Bachelorette.
00:37:39I know.
00:37:40We'll start with challenge one.
00:37:44Welcome to the show,
00:37:45the three badasses who want me.
00:37:48Today, we have our first challenge.
00:37:52What is all of this, Ellen?
00:37:55You'll see.
00:37:56Oh, my God.
00:38:06Oh, my God.
00:38:06Cockroaches!
00:38:08All women are afraid of cockroaches,
00:38:10and it is every man's job
00:38:12to save their beloved woman
00:38:14from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:38:16What will our three candidates do
00:38:18to prove their undying love
00:38:20for our single,
00:38:21but screaming her head off, Eris?
00:38:23Looks like one of our contestants
00:38:32has already called it quits.
00:38:34It's up to the final two.
00:38:36Crunchy.
00:38:46That is sick, Cole.
00:39:02Hey, when you're stranded
00:39:04in the middle of the battlefield,
00:39:05you'll be glad to see
00:39:06one of these around.
00:39:09There are two more left.
00:39:10Want to try one?
00:39:11Oh, my God.
00:39:11No.
00:39:12No.
00:39:14Oh, my God.
00:39:15Save.
00:39:16Save you.
00:39:17Save me.
00:39:19Ah!
00:39:21I'm a German folk doctor.
00:39:23These hands can't get germs on them.
00:39:25They're for surgery
00:39:25and saving lives.
00:39:27Thank God you're here.
00:39:45Are you all right, honey?
00:39:48Angela!
00:39:51All right, you won the first challenge,
00:39:53so your reward,
00:39:54you get to watch over her for the night.
00:39:57Just don't cross the line,
00:39:59if you know what I mean.
00:40:00I'm not her scumbag husband.
00:40:02You have nothing to worry about.
00:40:08Honestly, even if you guys fuck,
00:40:10it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:40:12At least my girl can get some.
00:40:14I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:40:18The cockroaches.
00:40:19The God, the God.
00:40:21There's nothing in this room
00:40:22except you and me, okay?
00:40:23I'm going to kill Ellen
00:40:27when I see her tomorrow.
00:40:31I need a drink.
00:40:41Whoa, easy.
00:40:42You're on an empty stomach.
00:40:44Oh, why do you care?
00:40:46You're trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:40:48You guys were late.
00:40:53I was blind for marrying that asshole.
00:40:57You know,
00:40:58I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:41:03He never even loved me.
00:41:05And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:41:07Do you really think that you would still be number one
00:41:13on the Forbes 30 under 30 list if I was around?
00:41:19You may not be number one on the Forbes list,
00:41:21but you know what you're number one in?
00:41:24What?
00:41:29You're number one here.
00:41:29You know,
00:41:36we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:41:39Lies.
00:41:42You all just want something from me.
00:41:49Angela,
00:41:50I know it's hard to trust again,
00:41:53but I assure you,
00:41:56I don't care
00:41:57what family you're from.
00:42:01I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:42:02I don't need your power,
00:42:04your status,
00:42:06your wealth,
00:42:07your connections.
00:42:10I just need you.
00:42:14I'll prove my love to you within six days.
00:42:16I promise.
00:42:23Screw the contest.
00:42:30I just want love.
00:42:33Angela.
00:42:35You're drunk.
00:42:36I'm an adult.
00:42:37Can't I go just get what she wants?
00:42:40Okay.
00:42:45But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:42:49Well,
00:42:50they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:42:53This is what you want.
00:43:029-inch Penis.
00:43:30Morning to you, too.
00:43:32You sure you were drunk last night?
00:43:35You wouldn't...
00:43:36A girl remembers when she's had a 9-inch Penis inside of her.
00:43:42Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:43:45But don't tell Shane or Cole, because then they would...
00:43:49Say that you were being unfair?
00:43:52Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:43:55I won the first challenge, and according to Ellen, my prize was to spend a night with
00:44:00you anyways.
00:44:00Just don't make this any harder than it already is.
00:44:05Are you sure you don't want a pretty heart?
00:44:11Stop.
00:44:14Fine, fine, fine.
00:44:16I won't tell.
00:44:17But only on one condition.
00:44:20You have to go out on a date with me.
00:44:31Fine.
00:44:32I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:44:40You never noticed me.
00:44:42You should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:44:51It's only 7am.
00:44:54She's still sleeping.
00:44:56I'm not letting my fiancé be alone with another man for another second.
00:45:01Morning, gentlemen.
00:45:02Oh, or shall I say Ruffman?
00:45:05Oh, don't mind him.
00:45:08What's up, guys?
00:45:10Ready for the second challenge?
00:45:12No cockroaches this time.
00:45:14Yes.
00:45:15No more terrifying things.
00:45:16That was my bad, Angela.
00:45:17This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:45:19I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:45:21The second challenge is...
00:45:24The second challenge is...
00:45:26A date.
00:45:27Lane, I should have asked for something else.
00:45:29A date?
00:45:30That's it.
00:45:32What's the catch?
00:45:33No catch.
00:45:34Just who Miss Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:45:37As simple as that.
00:45:38I know what I want to do.
00:45:39Let's start with me first.
00:45:40Okay.
00:45:41Well, it's up first.
00:45:42Then...
00:45:43Me.
00:45:44Saved the best for last.
00:45:45Ain't that right, Angela?
00:45:47Then it's decided.
00:45:51Please, don't take my BMW away.
00:45:55Too bad.
00:45:56You pissed off the Lockhart.
00:45:58I have nothing left.
00:46:08It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:14It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:21You know, Eisenhower serves at ease, Lieutenant.
00:46:27This is my Lieutenant.
00:46:28He also manages this boxing gym.
00:46:30Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower.
00:46:32He's so serious.
00:46:33But, hang on.
00:46:35Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet.
00:46:38Baby, I decided to take you here on my first date
00:46:41so that I can introduce you to my guns.
00:46:43Guns?
00:46:44Like murder weapons?
00:46:46Yes.
00:46:47Murder weapons.
00:46:48Murder weapons.
00:47:08You're like my guns, babe.
00:47:09Pretty rock hard.
00:47:10Yeah.
00:47:11Let me show you what I can do with them.
00:47:13Lieutenant!
00:47:14Come close!
00:47:15Wait, you're just going to hit him like that?
00:47:20He's not even going to fight back?
00:47:21Fighting back will be treason, ma'am!
00:47:23Treason?
00:47:24You guys are way too serious.
00:47:26Look, you Lockhart bitch!
00:47:28I caught you!
00:47:29If I'm going down, you're all going down with me!
00:47:32Lieutenant!
00:47:33Peace or attack!
00:47:34You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:47:47I will make you pay!
00:47:51You don't need to keep beating him up.
00:47:52We could just take him to the cops.
00:47:53Not when he tries to hurt you.
00:47:55It's always a bit violent.
00:48:08Some might call it being protective.
00:48:10Poor anger issues.
00:48:11What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster on an antique table or something?
00:48:16Is he going to be, like, rough?
00:48:19Hey, some girls are into that.
00:48:21I don't know if I am.
00:48:24Well, maybe Shane will be your type.
00:48:29Your date with Shane starts now.
00:48:35Hey.
00:48:36Hey.
00:48:37Cool ride.
00:48:39A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:48:42Impressive.
00:48:43Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:48:48Refreshing.
00:48:49I got cool mint, too.
00:48:52Or do you prefer spearmint?
00:48:55What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:48:59Fruit flavored gum.
00:49:00I can't stand those.
00:49:01So, where are you taking these tonight?
00:49:03Let me show you.
00:49:04Okay.
00:49:12Dr. Wilson!
00:49:13A VIP of VIPs!
00:49:14Right this way.
00:49:15VIP of VIPs?
00:49:16Ah, just some other guy I saved.
00:49:17I forget who.
00:49:18You saved a lot of people.
00:49:19I'll do what I can.
00:49:20Oh, my gosh.
00:49:21It's my gold digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:49:23Sandra Miller, what are you doing here?
00:49:24I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:49:25Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce and how you hired somebody.
00:49:29Some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:49:47Hello of you.
00:49:48What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:49:50Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:49:52I sell high fashion jewelry pieces so high-end, you couldn't afford even if you sold your organs.
00:49:59The auction begins.
00:50:01I'll deal with you later.
00:50:03Here, I'll just be one sec.
00:50:11Cameron, I have a task for you.
00:50:15Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:50:19Cleopatra's armband.
00:50:21Sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller.
00:50:25For five million dollars.
00:50:27Excuse me.
00:50:29I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:33It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:35I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:37It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:39What are they doing?
00:50:41Just watch.
00:50:43Come on.
00:50:49That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:50:51Please. I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:50:53She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:50:55You work at a flea market?
00:50:57Not this again.
00:50:59Cut the bullshit.
00:51:01That wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:51:03Oh yeah?
00:51:05Here, you want it? For free.
00:51:07Ew! I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:51:11Well, that's too bad then.
00:51:13Because you are the fraud.
00:51:15What are you talking about?
00:51:17Who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:51:19Throw them out!
00:51:21Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine, but we're professionals.
00:51:25Oh yeah?
00:51:27And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:51:31Yeah. Mine is the real thing.
00:51:33You two are just upset because you're too poor to afford our luxury items.
00:51:39Why was that so?
00:51:41Would a so-called expert fail to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:51:45Dear Lord.
00:51:47This is real.
00:51:49It's authentic.
00:51:51It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:56Cameron, what have you found?
00:51:58Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me?
00:52:01It's a replica.
00:52:03They had the same one right here at the flea market.
00:52:07So, you are the fraud.
00:52:11You just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:52:14And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:52:18150.
00:52:19Wow.
00:52:20Not even five dollars.
00:52:22Sandra.
00:52:23You've been duping us the whole time?
00:52:27Arrest her!
00:52:28No!
00:52:29Please!
00:52:30This is my time!
00:52:32Please!
00:52:33What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:52:35Uh, investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor of Japan.
00:52:39Bye.
00:52:40Blacklist her from the jewelry industry forever.
00:52:48I had a really great time tonight.
00:52:53Me too.
00:52:54May I have a kiss?
00:52:57Something wrong?
00:53:01Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:53:15Yup.
00:53:16You never have to worry about stinky breath for me.
00:53:22Ha!
00:53:23You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:53:24I don't have any money.
00:53:25How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:53:26I guess you'll only pay up if I break your other leg.
00:53:32Stop!
00:53:33Mr. Vanderbilt?
00:53:34Mr. Buffett?
00:53:35Mr. Buffett?
00:53:36Ha!
00:53:37Ha!
00:53:38Ha!
00:53:39Ha!
00:53:40Ha!
00:53:41You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:53:42I don't have any money.
00:53:43How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:53:44I guess you'll only pay up if I break your other leg.
00:53:49Stop!
00:53:50Mr. Vanderbilt?
00:53:52Mr. Vanderbilt?
00:53:53Mr. Buffett?
00:53:54Ha!
00:53:55Ha!
00:53:56Ha!
00:53:57Ha!
00:53:58Ha!
00:53:59Ha!
00:54:00Ha!
00:54:01Ha!
00:54:02Ha!
00:54:03Ha!
00:54:04This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:54:06That's right!
00:54:07Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:54:09I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:54:12I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:54:15No, no.
00:54:16Sorry about those injuries from earlier.
00:54:18It was all just a little misunderstand.
00:54:21Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:54:24And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good word for us?
00:54:30Angela still loves me.
00:54:31She's just throwing a fit.
00:54:33She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:54:34Yeah.
00:54:35Do you need any help winning her back?
00:54:37We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:54:40I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago,
00:54:43and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:54:45It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:54:48Sure.
00:54:50I'll put in a good word for you.
00:54:52I just need...
00:54:53Anything.
00:54:54You tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:54:56Once I take everything from these idiots,
00:54:59I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:55:09I've given a contract to Jared Cooper, just like you asked me to.
00:55:12Well done, he'll be fucked soon.
00:55:16Well done, he'll be fucked soon.
00:55:18I don't get it, Ms. Musk.
00:55:20My contract has a preliminary clause.
00:55:22It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit.
00:55:25And if you can, then what?
00:55:27He'll be bankrupt.
00:55:29So as long as he's greedy enough to take it.
00:55:33I'm avenging my best friend.
00:55:35I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:55:45I signed the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:47We should celebrate.
00:55:49You did?
00:55:50You see, I know my son has it in him.
00:55:53That skank, Angela, is nothing next to you.
00:55:57And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:56:00Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:56:05What?
00:56:06You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:56:09Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:56:10He's not.
00:56:11Jared, what are you doing?
00:56:13You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:56:16It's my decision, Mom.
00:56:18I'm the head of the house here.
00:56:21I'm telling my dad.
00:56:22Fine.
00:56:23Go right ahead.
00:56:24He has enough problems himself.
00:56:25If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as his side piece.
00:56:28But if not, you can scram.
00:56:31Dad.
00:56:32Jared is being mean to me.
00:56:34Teach him a lesson.
00:56:35Kayleigh, be a good girl, okay?
00:56:37Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:56:41Don't get on his bad side.
00:56:43We can't afford to piss him off.
00:56:45So do as he says.
00:56:47What, Dad?
00:56:55I'm sorry.
00:56:56Be your side piece.
00:56:58Very good.
00:56:59I'm happy you've come around.
00:57:01Now let's go celebrate.
00:57:06I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:57:11But that tongue action, though.
00:57:13Tongue is important.
00:57:14In more than just one spot.
00:57:16Ellen, we are in public.
00:57:17It's true.
00:57:19Stomachache.
00:57:21Again?
00:57:22I have to run to the bathroom.
00:57:23Devon should be here to pick you up soon.
00:57:25Okay.
00:57:27Devon's late.
00:57:29Not a good sign for a date.
00:57:33This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:57:38It's her.
00:57:39And she's alone.
00:57:40With no one to save her.
00:57:44You whore.
00:57:45You seduced my son so he could get back with you.
00:57:47Let me tell you, I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:57:58Hey, you guys can fight all you want, but you need to take this somewhere else.
00:58:03Who ever gets rid of her from me gets all this.
00:58:07What?
00:58:08Why do I have to leave?
00:58:09She's the one starting shit.
00:58:11Because I have money and you don't.
00:58:13You're just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:58:15And my son just signed a 100 billion dollar contract.
00:58:19He's still got the contract?
00:58:22Hmm.
00:58:23Must be Ellen's doing.
00:58:25Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:58:29Oh, he's just gonna...
00:58:31Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:34Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:37You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own.
00:58:45My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
00:58:48One thousand dollars to take her away.
00:58:51Two thousand dollars to drag her away.
00:58:54Five thousand dollars to beat her away.
00:59:00Oh, oh, hey!
00:59:01Hey!
00:59:02Ow, hey!
00:59:03Stop!
00:59:05You okay?
00:59:06Are you hurt?
00:59:12Weakling.
00:59:13You!
00:59:14You!
00:59:15Just a few days ago, you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
00:59:19And now you have two more?
00:59:20What a whore.
00:59:22What a whore.
00:59:23Yeah.
00:59:24And Jared wanted to get back with her?
00:59:26What if she has an STD?
00:59:28Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
00:59:32Let's go.
00:59:34We'll expose her to Jared.
00:59:35Jared!
00:59:36Hang on.
00:59:38What do you want?
00:59:39I-I-I'll scream!
00:59:41I don't hear women.
00:59:42But I never said I don't kill them.
00:59:46But I never said I don't kill them.
00:59:47Oh, God.
00:59:48He is a murderer.
00:59:49What if he murders me?
00:59:50Not him.
00:59:51Definitely not him.
00:59:52We're not afraid of you.
00:59:53That's enough.
00:59:54This isn't a war zone.
00:59:55You'll be removed from being a five star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
01:00:00I was just messing with them.
01:00:01Was he though?
01:00:02We're not afraid of you.
01:00:03Jared!
01:00:04Jared!
01:00:05You have to avenge us.
01:00:06Look at this slut.
01:00:07She's found two more boy toys.
01:00:08She's cheating on you.
01:00:09Don't get back with her.
01:00:10Oh, Mr. Cooper it's you.
01:00:11I apologize for this scene.
01:00:12I'll toss out the potty crashers immediately so that you can go to his salvation banquet.
01:00:14Who did you say you were gonna toss out?
01:00:15Who did you say you were gonna toss out?
01:00:16Who did you say you were gonna toss out?
01:00:17The potty crashers.
01:00:18Oh.
01:00:19You have any idea who that is?
01:00:20That's my brother.
01:00:21I'm not afraid of you.
01:00:22I'm not afraid of you.
01:00:23I'm afraid of you.
01:00:24I'm afraid of you.
01:00:25I'm afraid of you.
01:00:26Jared!
01:00:27I'm afraid of you.
01:00:28Jared!
01:00:29You have to avenge us.
01:00:30Look at this slut.
01:00:31She's found two more boy toys.
01:00:32She's cheating on you.
01:00:33Don't get back with her!
01:00:34Oh, Mr. Cooper it's you.
01:00:35I apologize for this scene.
01:00:36You have any idea who that is?
01:00:40That's my wife.
01:00:41Please, save that title for the real skank over there.
01:00:45That's right.
01:00:46Know your place.
01:00:47Shut up!
01:00:48She's cheating on you!
01:00:50Know your place.
01:00:52You're just a side piece.
01:00:53If I still want you that is.
01:00:55Eric, have you gone mad?
01:00:57This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:00:59You slap her for this whore?
01:01:01Mom!
01:01:02They really think there's something, huh?
01:01:05Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:01:09She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:01:12I only got the Maple Plaza project because she gave it to me.
01:01:16What?
01:01:18You, apologize right now or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:01:28I'm sorry.
01:01:30No.
01:01:31This can't be.
01:01:33I made you divorce.
01:01:38Go home.
01:01:39You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
01:01:48I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:01:51Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
01:01:54I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:01:57I didn't come here for you.
01:02:00I'm on a date.
01:02:02A date with two men at the same time?
01:02:06She really is a whore.
01:02:07Angela, please forgive me.
01:02:09I really do love you.
01:02:13Oh-ho!
01:02:14Lady Knockhart is here!
01:02:17Oh-ho!
01:02:18Lady Knockhart is here!
01:02:20Yeah, that's too.
01:02:21Yeah, yeah, we already know you beat Ford's effort.
01:02:25We're too old for that.
01:02:27They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:02:29Please, you gave me the contract, so if anyone should go as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:02:35Oh, yes, please, Ms. Lockhart, join us.
01:02:37We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:02:41What the hell are you all doing here?
01:02:43Where were you?
01:02:45Stomach issues.
01:02:47Again?
01:02:48Would you like my diagnosis?
01:02:50No.
01:02:52Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:02:56I would rather die than be with you again.
01:03:00Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:03:04I can't lose face in front of these pricks.
01:03:06Otherwise, they'll cut me off, too.
01:03:07Angela, I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance.
01:03:10I'll prove it to you.
01:03:12You want a chance?
01:03:13Angela, no.
01:03:14You have three great guys here who all want to marry you.
01:03:17Don't take him back.
01:03:20I'll give you two choices.
01:03:23I'll give you two choices.
01:03:27Me.
01:03:29Or the contract.
01:03:30You're kidding me.
01:03:32No.
01:03:33I'm not kidding you.
01:03:34If you choose me, we can remarry this week.
01:03:39But you don't get the hundred billion dollar contract.
01:03:42The choice is all yours.
01:03:44So that's a tough choice.
01:03:47You think so?
01:03:48He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:03:51Either way, benefits.
01:03:53Why can't I have both?
01:03:55You really are a greedy bastard.
01:03:58Angela, I saved you in the pool.
01:04:00Remember?
01:04:01I deserved the contract.
01:04:03Did you really?
01:04:08Look who's fashionably late now.
01:04:11He didn't save her at the pool.
01:04:14What are you talking about?
01:04:16I choose the contract.
01:04:19I knew it.
01:04:20You'll get what's coming to you.
01:04:21With this contract, my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:04:27Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:04:30I will get you one day.
01:04:32Let me show you something.
01:04:45You saved me.
01:04:51You saved me.
01:04:53I'm sorry.
01:04:55If his lies led to you wasting three years of your life.
01:05:00But I promise you.
01:05:02I'm gonna make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:05:05No! No! I wasn't lying. I just couldn't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:05:10Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:05:21What? Me?
01:05:24Dr. Wilson losing at saving people?
01:05:27No way.
01:05:28You guys, one of you, do something life-threatening right now.
01:05:32You're crazy.
01:05:34And actually, they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:05:38What?
01:05:41Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:05:45Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:05:48To put it simply, they've been stealing from you.
01:05:52I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:05:54Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry.
01:05:57I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly.
01:06:00No, it's not your fault. They're just too slick.
01:06:03You'd like me to punish them for-
01:06:04Oh god, no. Not that again. Please.
01:06:08Max.
01:06:10You know what to do.
01:06:11The banks have pulled all of our funds. All business ties have been severed.
01:06:28We're bankrupt!
01:06:29How did you do that?
01:06:36Who are you? And don't say Spider-Man!
01:06:39I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:44I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:46I am...
01:06:49I am...
01:06:51Crypto Punk number two!
01:06:53What did he say he was?
01:06:54That's more bizarre than Spider-Man!
01:06:57You're Crypto Punk number two?
01:06:59Well, I'm Crypto Punk number one.
01:07:02See? You are number one at something.
01:07:05The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:07:07Forget Forbes' list.
01:07:08It's all about young money now.
01:07:11So...
01:07:13How about our date?
01:07:19I'm not letting a one-off me on this one.
01:07:22I'll spy two.
01:07:23They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:07:38I still have the $100 billion project.
01:07:42Yes!
01:07:44I'm rich!
01:07:46They make them all pay soon!
01:07:53What?
01:07:54Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:07:56The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs upfront.
01:08:00Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:08:05No!
01:08:07I'm bankrupt!
01:08:09I'm just a little Lockhart.
01:08:11You tricked me!
01:08:17Oh, allow me.
01:08:18I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:08:23I had to get some very important materials for our special date.
01:08:30Well, cheers.
01:08:32Cheers.
01:08:41This looks good.
01:08:42Cheers.
01:08:47Did you use my spices?
01:08:49I know your ex-in-law has never appreciated you.
01:08:54You can have all the money and power in the world and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:09:01Couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:09:03Angel.
01:09:05Your future, with me, it's gonna be different.
01:09:15Come on.
01:09:17Go upstairs.
01:09:19Hey.
01:09:33Hey.
01:09:35Hey.
01:09:37Wow.
01:09:39Devin, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on these past few years.
01:09:43Just because of some silly mistake.
01:09:46Angela.
01:09:48I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:09:51Actually, I've also loved you for three years.
01:09:55That's right.
01:09:57I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:09:59How is all of this possible?
01:10:01I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:10:05Well, actually, maybe Devin, but...
01:10:08I've had a crush on you since college.
01:10:12You're my motivation to go to business school.
01:10:15Despite who you were, you never judged me for being poor.
01:10:22Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:10:27All you do is babble on and on about internet money, Bitcoin and shit like that.
01:10:37Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:10:41How did you bless me?
01:10:43How did you bless me?
01:10:45Hey!
01:10:46Get away from me!
01:10:48Angela!
01:10:50Feisty girl.
01:10:51I like her.
01:10:52I like her.
01:11:03How is he?
01:11:04It's a rare poison.
01:11:06Made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa.
01:11:10Can he be cured?
01:11:12I actually think I know that poison.
01:11:13It sounds really scary, but its cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:11:18Household salt.
01:11:26I like her.
01:11:27I like her.
01:11:29There you go.
01:11:31I don't know what time is it up.
01:11:34Oh shoot, I'm late for swim practice.
01:11:44I like her.
01:11:46We have been rivals ever since.
01:11:48So, that's how I, well, we, all met.
01:11:53I barely remember.
01:11:55I said I never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:11:58Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me, attacked you out of revenge.
01:12:03You wouldn't have known.
01:12:04I did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark though.
01:12:07That makes you feel any better.
01:12:08Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:12:10Yeah.
01:12:11Angela?
01:12:12Your seven days is almost up.
01:12:14Now that you know, they all loved and fought for you for three years.
01:12:18Who will you pick?
01:12:24How can that be?
01:12:26Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:12:33Kayleigh, we've gone bankrupt.
01:12:35Bankrupt?
01:12:37Bankrupt?
01:12:39The Vanderbilt's have gone bankrupt?
01:12:42Well then, get out of here.
01:12:44You can't do this to me!
01:12:46Oh!
01:12:48Jared!
01:12:50Mom, it's me.
01:12:51What happened?
01:12:53Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:12:56Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:12:58You should get back with your wife.
01:13:00We're bankrupt.
01:13:02What?
01:13:03Jared Cooper.
01:13:06We're here to propose your belongings.
01:13:12No one is going to save you now.
01:13:15What?
01:13:17What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:13:26Who will you pick?
01:13:30I...
01:13:33I brought you fried chicken?
01:13:37Fried chicken?
01:13:38Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:13:40Yeah, he's right.
01:13:41I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:13:43Sucking up last minute!
01:13:45At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:13:48Hey, stop!
01:13:50Stop!
01:13:52Welcome back to The Bachelorette.
01:13:53The Bachelorette.
01:13:54I mean, the three badasses who want me.
01:13:57I mean, Angela Lockhart...
01:14:00You know what I mean.
01:14:02Today, our heiress Bachelorette will choose.
01:14:06Which one of our three badasses will she marry?
01:14:08Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:14:13Cole, the general?
01:14:17Or Devon, the CEO?
01:14:23Uh, looks like our Bachelorette may need a little more time to decide.
01:14:26Oh, the suspense is killing me!
01:14:30But when she does, she will take this eternal rose made from glass imported from Venice and give it to our winner.
01:14:38Angela?
01:14:41Angela?
01:14:43Oh.
01:14:44I, uh...
01:14:46I need more time to think.
01:14:52Uh, while our Bachelorette takes a little time to decide, why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:14:59Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:15:02Let's start with Cole.
01:15:04Cole.
01:15:08There's not much to say.
01:15:09Who wouldn't want a five-star general?
01:15:12Who has huge biceps.
01:15:14A massive chest.
01:15:16Who would protect their...
01:15:18Wife.
01:15:21Okay.
01:15:24Uh, Shane?
01:15:26Muscles.
01:15:28Money.
01:15:29They only get you so far.
01:15:31But you need a well-balanced man like me.
01:15:33That has more than one way to keep a lady happy.
01:15:36If you know what I mean.
01:15:40Okay.
01:15:41I think we do.
01:15:42And Devin.
01:15:45That was quite disgusting.
01:15:49I just hope Angela's okay.
01:15:51I know she's going under a lot of stress right now.
01:15:54A lot of choices to make.
01:15:56And she's my queen.
01:15:58I just really hope she's okay.
01:15:59Okay.
01:16:00And then one more thing.
01:16:02What kind of a doctor brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:16:06That's a good point.
01:16:07It's bad for her heart.
01:16:10And then you.
01:16:12What?
01:16:13You know what they say about military men.
01:16:16They beat their wives.
01:16:21Enough!
01:16:22Stand up!
01:16:24Stand up!
01:16:26Hey, you guys.
01:16:29Whoa, break it up!
01:16:31Hey!
01:16:32Break it up!
01:16:37Cut to commercial!
01:16:39Cut to commercial!
01:16:52Oh my gosh.
01:16:58This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life.
01:17:03Who do I choose?
01:17:11Angela's marrying me!
01:17:13You're not stealing her from me.
01:17:14Oh yeah?
01:17:16I may be a doctor, but like I said, I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:17:24What don't you have in that coat?
01:17:26Fruit flavored gum!
01:17:28I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:17:30I'll fight you to the death.
01:17:32Don't forget about me.
01:17:34It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:17:39These stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:17:42They do not help.
01:17:43Who made this?
01:17:44Who made this?
01:18:03It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:18:08I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:18:10And I have the power of...
01:18:14Telekinesis!
01:18:30We may have to work together to take him down.
01:18:32This battle within our heads is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:18:34I may not be able to take them both down if they decide to team up.
01:18:38Hmm.
01:18:39Winter Mint?
01:18:40Or Cool Mint?
01:18:41You know?
01:18:42I've always really liked our hair.
01:18:43Really?
01:18:44I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:18:46So I appreciate that.
01:18:47Hey, hey, hey.
01:18:48Hey, hey, hey.
01:18:49You know?
01:18:50Cool.
01:18:51Cool.
01:18:52You know?
01:18:53I've always really liked our hair.
01:18:54Really?
01:18:55I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:18:56So I appreciate that.
01:18:57Hey, hey, hey.
01:18:58And you know, Cool.
01:18:59I've always really liked our hair.
01:19:00Really?
01:19:01I've always really liked our hair.
01:19:02Really?
01:19:03I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:19:06So I appreciate that.
01:19:08Hey, hey, hey.
01:19:09And you know, Cool.
01:19:10I've always really liked the way you talk.
01:19:14Really?
01:19:15Yeah.
01:19:16Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:19:20What do you got for me?
01:19:21I've always really liked the way you chew gum.
01:19:24Yeah?
01:19:25Yeah.
01:19:26It's fresh, right?
01:19:27Yeah.
01:19:28Yeah.
01:19:29Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:19:30You know, you're actually a really good doctor.
01:19:32Hey, I appreciate it.
01:19:33Hey, you need me to look at you?
01:19:35I got you, man.
01:19:36Hey, me too.
01:19:37I'll take care.
01:19:38Angela's been kidnapped.
01:19:39Angela's been kidnapped.
01:19:41It was Jerry Cooper.
01:19:44That fucker.
01:19:45We have to find her.
01:19:46What the hell?
01:19:47Her ring.
01:19:48Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring just in case.
01:19:51Well, let's go then.
01:19:53Oh, my fiance.
01:19:55My fiance.
01:19:56My fiance.
01:20:02Jared.
01:20:06What am I doing here?
01:20:08You destroyed me.
01:20:12They took everything.
01:20:15What?
01:20:16Nothing left.
01:20:18It's not my fault.
01:20:19You're too greedy.
01:20:20Is it greedy?
01:20:21To have sex with my wife?
01:20:24What?
01:20:25I'm not your wife anymore.
01:20:27Oh, yeah, I know.
01:20:28You wouldn't take me back now.
01:20:29Not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:20:31This is illegal.
01:20:32You wouldn't want your child to be away from its father.
01:20:35You won't have me arrested.
01:20:37You will take me back.
01:20:39You're too late.
01:20:40I drugged her.
01:20:41She'll be dead.
01:20:42You're too late.
01:20:43I drugged her.
01:20:44She'll be dead.
01:20:45Unless...
01:20:46Oh, yeah?
01:20:47Have you forgotten who I am?
01:20:48He really does have everything in us, coach.
01:20:49Everything except for fruit.
01:20:50Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum.
01:20:51We get it already.
01:20:52You're too late.
01:20:53I drugged her.
01:20:54She'll be dead soon unless...
01:20:55Oh, yeah?
01:20:56Have you forgotten who I am?
01:20:57He really does have everything in us, coach.
01:20:58Everything except for fruit.
01:20:59Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum.
01:21:00We get it already.
01:21:01Just save my boss.
01:21:02Here you go.
01:21:03You're all good now.
01:21:04Oh, thank God.
01:21:05You're too late.
01:21:06I drugged her.
01:21:07I drugged her.
01:21:08She'll be dead soon unless...
01:21:09Oh, yeah?
01:21:10Have you forgotten who I am?
01:21:12He really does have everything in us, coach.
01:21:15Everything except for fruit.
01:21:16Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum.
01:21:17We get it already.
01:21:18Just save my boss.
01:21:19Here you go.
01:21:22You're all good now.
01:21:28Oh, thank God.
01:21:30But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:21:33What?
01:21:34What are you gonna do to me?
01:21:35Hey, stop!
01:21:36No!
01:21:37Don't!
01:21:38Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:21:41No.
01:21:42No.
01:21:43No.
01:21:44No!
01:21:45No!
01:21:46No!
01:21:47No!
01:21:48No!
01:21:49No!
01:21:50No!
01:21:51No!
01:21:52No!
01:21:53No!
01:21:54No!
01:21:55No!
01:21:56No!
01:21:57No!
01:21:58We're going to take a picture of your pick, sweetheart.
01:21:59We've invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding, the Prince of Bhutan.
01:22:05And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:22:13Welcome back to the finale of the three badasses who want me.
01:22:17We're down to the wire.
01:22:18Literally, the wedding day.
01:22:19Literally, the wedding day, but who's the groom?
01:22:34Welcome back to the finale of The Three Badasses Who Want Me, But Who's the Groom?
01:22:42Uh, seems our era still hasn't decided.
01:22:46Any input from the parents? Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:22:53Oh, this is exciting. Who should my daughter pick?
01:22:58Let me think.
01:23:02I like the doctor. He's cute.
01:23:06But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:23:11And we can't forget about Devin Sterling, the one who's loved her the longest. Isn't that right, Devin?
01:23:16Angela.
01:23:23You are all three very fine gentlemen, and I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:23:33But this was a really hard decision, and I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:42And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:50I'm just kidding. I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:23:53Each of our candidates have saved our main character.
01:24:01I mean, bachelorette, once.
01:24:03They've all proven their undying love.
01:24:06So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:24:09Literally.
01:24:10Could it be the sexy and protective, general with a temper, Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:24:19Or the fun, wicked-minded, but kind of weird, Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:24:33And last but not least, could it be the richest man of them all?
01:24:38The man Angela would have married a long time ago, Mr. Devin Sterling.
01:24:42Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:24:49That has made the best man win.
01:24:53May the best man win.
01:24:55Drum roll, please.
01:24:57Seriously, Ricky?
01:25:18I choose...
01:25:20I need a powerful, strong man and I really feel like you can protect me.
01:25:36Who could resist those guns?
01:25:40They interest you in an NFD, Ellen.
01:25:42Do you like a full body check-up?
01:25:43I do.
01:25:44I do.
01:25:44I do.
01:25:44I do.
01:25:44I do.
01:25:44I do.
01:25:45I do.
01:25:45I do.
01:25:45I do.
01:25:45I do.
01:25:45I do.
01:25:46I do.
01:25:46I do.
01:25:46I do.
01:25:46I do.
01:25:47I do.
01:25:47I do.
01:25:47I do.
01:25:47I do.
01:25:48I do.
01:25:49I do.
01:25:49I do.
01:25:49I do.
01:25:50I do.
01:25:50Shane, it's you.
01:25:59I'm love-sick for you.
01:26:01You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:26:03Yeah.
01:26:03Yeah.
01:26:06It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:26:09Ellen, be my new queen.
01:26:10Think of what we can draw together.
01:26:12Like dance, babe?
01:26:13Dance, babe.
01:26:14Dance, babe.
01:26:15Dance, babe.
01:26:15Dance, babe.
01:26:16Dance, babe.
01:26:17Dance, babe.
01:26:17Dance, babe.
01:26:18Dance, babe.
01:26:19Dance, babe.
01:26:19Dance, babe.
01:26:20Dance, babe.
01:26:20Dance, babe.
01:26:26It's always for you.
01:26:35I'll always love you.
01:26:39Let's give it up for those nine inches.
01:26:41Everybody.
01:26:41Who is the allies?
01:26:42Who is that one?
01:26:43Would you like a full-body check-up?
01:26:45Have you seen my murder weapons?
01:26:47I need proof flavored gum for you.

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