- 5/17/2025
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 under 30 list, arrives at Atlanta today.
00:00:12What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:00:17Angela, my next door neighbor, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:21If your mother-in-law sees, she's going to throw a big fit again.
00:00:26Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:00:29What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply
00:00:32it to your penniless self?
00:00:33And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:00:37All right, everybody get out!
00:00:40We got an important guest coming!
00:00:45You!
00:00:46You deaf?
00:00:47I said pack up and scram!
00:00:52I paid the staff here already, and if you want me to leave, then fine, but you have
00:00:58to pay for today's losses.
00:00:59You want to say that again?
00:01:04You know who's visiting today?
00:01:06Ellen freaking Musk, one of the richest people in the world.
00:01:09Ellen Musk?
00:01:10Of course, a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:01:13Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:01:17Really?
00:01:18Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market.
00:01:23You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:01:30Coming to see you?
00:01:31All right, you know what?
00:01:32I'll play your game.
00:01:34If she does it so much as give you a glance, I'll eat dirt.
00:01:41Deal.
00:01:50Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within ten minutes.
00:01:53Or else, you're fired.
00:02:13Prepare the limo.
00:02:15Ms. Lockhart requires us immediately.
00:02:23Ah, your ten minutes is almost up.
00:02:25Good.
00:02:26Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:02:28Five, four, three, two, one.
00:02:40Ellen.
00:02:41Uh, I mean, Ms. Musk.
00:02:43Ellen.
00:02:44Uh, I mean, uh, I'm sorry that I, uh, sorry to frighten you.
00:02:49How's my boss bitch?
00:02:52Kick an ass, girlfriend.
00:02:54So how do you, like...
00:02:57She's my boss?
00:02:59Eh, I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:03:03No way.
00:03:08Well?
00:03:11No.
00:03:12No.
00:03:13No, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss.
00:03:15No, I won't do it again.
00:03:19All right, that's enough.
00:03:21We're not tyrants here.
00:03:28Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:03:37You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:03:39I honor my pride.
00:03:42You made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker.
00:03:46Who are you?
00:03:49Where is she?
00:03:51Atlanta.
00:03:52And you were right.
00:03:53It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:03:55My clever bride.
00:03:57I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:04:04Max, prep the jet.
00:04:06I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:04:12Dr. Wilson.
00:04:13He's having Sterling's on the move.
00:04:14He's headed to Atlanta.
00:04:15Atlanta?
00:04:16The game is afoot.
00:04:18I'm going.
00:04:19Wait, Dr. Wilson.
00:04:20The Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:04:22He can wait.
00:04:23I need to pick up my bride.
00:04:28Dr. Wilson.
00:04:35General Eisenhower reporting, sir.
00:04:38Douglas Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
00:04:41Atlanta.
00:04:43Where is that?
00:04:45Whatever.
00:04:46Prepare my warplanes.
00:04:47Those two are going after my fiancée.
00:04:49This is war.
00:05:07I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper, to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project like you asked me to.
00:05:12Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:05:14This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:05:17That project is worth billions.
00:05:19He can finally take his company public.
00:05:21But, Angela, my boss, I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity.
00:05:32Without your backing, no offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:05:37Well, three years ago...
00:05:47You saved me.
00:06:04He saved me, and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:06:08I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being with a billionaire heiress.
00:06:15But now, with this contract, I feel like we'll be on more equal footing and then I can finally come out to the public.
00:06:23So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:06:26I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:06:31But why work at the flea market?
00:06:33Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:06:37Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find.
00:06:42Plus, I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom.
00:06:46You seem happy being a housewife.
00:06:51Where the hell are you?
00:06:53Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:06:56Get home, stat.
00:06:58It's a big day today.
00:07:01That was...
00:07:03My mother-in-law, Carol, she judges me because she thinks I come from a lower-class family.
00:07:09But she's going to be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:07:15You know, she even remembered our 30-year anniversary.
00:07:23Please spend more time with my son.
00:07:27Hi, I'm home.
00:07:29I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:07:31Finally, you're back. Now sign the divorce papers.
00:07:37Divorce papers?
00:07:39Is this some sort of misunderstanding, Mom?
00:07:43God, don't call me Mom again.
00:07:46We're ending that relationship.
00:07:48Just look at you. Dirt all over.
00:07:51You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:07:54You don't deserve my son. You're way below his league.
00:07:58I'm below his league?
00:08:00That's right. You are.
00:08:02Jared is signing a $100 billion contract tomorrow with THE Ellen Musk.
00:08:09And then his company's going public.
00:08:11That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:08:14But you? You're still just a stinky, hippie peddler.
00:08:20Jared's like the king in the clouds. And you...
00:08:23You will always just be a pawn.
00:08:27Like dirt on our shoes.
00:08:32Dirt on your shoes?
00:08:35But Ellen Musk works for me.
00:08:38You're delusional. You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:08:42How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here.
00:08:48Resorting to lies is definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:08:52And who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:08:58You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:09:04Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee.
00:09:07Not a lowlife dirtbag.
00:09:09Enough!
00:09:11Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:09:15But I am.
00:09:17Don't fight it, Angela.
00:09:20Here's $500,000. You'll never make as much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:09:25Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave. Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:09:32I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:09:37Did that not mean anything to you?
00:09:40Didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:09:43Fine. Here's another $200,000.
00:09:46$500,000 is too much for her already.
00:09:49She's done nothing. Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:09:55She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:09:58Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:10:02I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:10:06You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
00:10:10And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench?
00:10:15A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO? What a joke.
00:10:20If you actually love my son, you'll sign the damn divorce papers already.
00:10:25And leave!
00:10:29You really think that Jared would have gotten that Mabel Plaza bid without me?
00:10:33Let alone taking the company public?
00:10:36I did everything for you, Jared.
00:10:40Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:10:47It's all my work!
00:10:50Baby, we're going to be late for the auction if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:10:58You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:11:03So, she's the reason for the divorce.
00:11:07She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:11:11Fine. I'll sign it.
00:11:15But don't regret it.
00:11:17Regret?
00:11:19Do you know who I am?
00:11:21Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed?
00:11:25I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:11:29Jared winning the bid on Mabel Plaza was because of my dad.
00:11:34Because he's business partners with Elon Musk.
00:11:38It's part of the power that I have as an elite.
00:11:43You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:11:47Social stratum matters.
00:11:49Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:11:53And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:11:56And you really think Elon Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:12:01Ha! You're delusional.
00:12:04Now sign the papers and scram!
00:12:10You owe me.
00:12:12You dirty bitch. You sicken me.
00:12:17You hit me.
00:12:22Now sign the papers, take a check, and get the fuck out!
00:12:40I don't need your pity money.
00:12:42I don't need your pity money.
00:12:46We're finished.
00:12:48You don't want the money? That's your loss.
00:12:51Your check is just pennies to me.
00:12:54But I would like my ring back.
00:12:58Mom?
00:13:07Have fun on your economy flight while I catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here.
00:13:18And I'm way out of your league.
00:13:21Isn't that the Winston Blue Diamond Ring?
00:13:26It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:13:30Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:13:33Something she found at the flea market.
00:13:36You're right. She could never afford anything so expensive.
00:13:41Congrats, Jared Boo Boo, on getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:13:47Oh, my dad says there's going to be a secret big shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:13:54Bigger big shot than Elon Musk?
00:13:57Yeah. And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:14:02Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:14:17Angela, Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia, wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:14:23Vanderbilt?
00:14:24Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies. Basically, our employee.
00:14:28Oh, okay. I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow. It's fine.
00:14:31You're still going to the summit tomorrow? But you and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:14:35That's exactly why I'm going.
00:14:37Angela Lockhart. I finally found you.
00:14:43I'm sorry.
00:14:45I didn't mean to.
00:14:47I'm sorry.
00:14:49I'm sorry.
00:14:51I'm sorry.
00:14:53I'm sorry.
00:14:55I'm sorry.
00:14:57I'm sorry.
00:14:59I'm sorry.
00:15:01I'm sorry.
00:15:03I'm sorry.
00:15:05I'm sorry.
00:15:07Who is he?
00:15:09That? That's Devin Sterling.
00:15:12He's number one on Forbes' 30 under 30 list, an early investor of crypto, CEO of Sterling Enterprises.
00:15:18Rumor has it he's worth trillions.
00:15:21And he's your fiancé.
00:15:24What? My fiancé?
00:15:28The one and only.
00:15:29So, after running away and leaving me single for three years, have you figured out how you're going to make it up to me yet, babe?
00:15:47That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:15:52What is she doing here?
00:15:56You skank. My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:16:03Divorced?
00:16:05That's right. So, I guess this was never meant to be, Mr...
00:16:11Sterling. Devin Sterling.
00:16:15So she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:16:18Guess she's not just a forsaken woman.
00:16:20Guess she's not just a forsaken woman.
00:16:22She's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:16:28How dare you insult my boss like that.
00:16:31Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:16:34Do you know who I am?
00:16:37They don't know who you are.
00:16:40You hide it well.
00:16:42X-Team!
00:16:44Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:47Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:50Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York.
00:16:57You forgot to bring the security team.
00:17:05Mind if I borrow your men?
00:17:07Go ahead.
00:17:11Toss these ill-mannered apes out.
00:17:14You bitch. I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:17:19Teach these fools a lesson.
00:17:26A kiss as a reward, my lady.
00:17:30No.
00:17:38Guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:17:41You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffett, old money like me.
00:17:46Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:17:48Pleased to meet you all.
00:17:49Your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution.
00:17:52What an honor.
00:17:54I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project.
00:17:56It's worth billions of dollars.
00:17:58Congrats. You'll be next.
00:18:01But we haven't received the contract yet.
00:18:03We deserve it.
00:18:04Oh, that's nothing.
00:18:05I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:18:08Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:18:11So, thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:18:15Thank you, Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:18:17Now, we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:18:22Yes, I heard they're a very important and powerful guest.
00:18:26Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:18:29Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot, we can feast for generations.
00:18:38I'll do my best.
00:18:44Excuse me.
00:18:45A second, gentlemen.
00:18:47What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:18:51How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:18:54Me? A hobo?
00:18:56How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:18:59You sleep your way in?
00:19:00I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:19:03Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:19:06Don't flatter yourself.
00:19:11This is your ex-husband?
00:19:13What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:19:17Who the hell is this?
00:19:18You were cheating on me?
00:19:32Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:19:35That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:19:41They even took Kaylee's tiara.
00:19:56You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:20:00Get your hands off of her.
00:20:06My lady.
00:20:11My lady.
00:20:22My queen.
00:20:33It's...
00:20:35It's him!
00:20:37He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday.
00:20:40Who are these peasants?
00:20:41These seats are reserved for thee, Ellen Musk, and her special guest.
00:20:46Oh, shut up, old man.
00:20:49You're disturbing the peace.
00:20:53Fuckers, you know who that is?
00:20:55That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:20:57You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:20:59His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America.
00:21:04This civil war would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:21:07Vanderbilt.
00:21:09The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt,
00:21:13who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:21:18That lonely Vanderbilt family?
00:21:27Oh, goddammit, a stomachache now?
00:21:31Oh.
00:21:34Whatever.
00:21:35Angela can handle herself. She'll be fine.
00:21:50How dare you call one of us low?
00:21:53I'm Harvey Evan Buffett, the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:21:57I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:22:02And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair.
00:22:06Not with me around.
00:22:08I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:22:13You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:22:18You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:22:20We've had enough of your games.
00:22:22Security, break their limbs and toss them out.
00:22:27Looks like the old guard is teaming up against you.
00:22:30But don't worry, you got new money.
00:22:35I can handle myself, thank you.
00:22:37Yes, my queen.
00:22:40You're all despicable.
00:22:43An insult to your family names.
00:22:47Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:22:51Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:22:54Cut off all business ties.
00:22:56And if you don't,
00:22:59I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:23:04I knew it. You're here to fuck with me.
00:23:07You can't fool anyone here.
00:23:09How much money did you spend on that getup to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:23:13You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:23:17You have nothing and you will always be nothing.
00:23:21She's a gold digger.
00:23:24Gold digger?
00:23:26Gigolo.
00:23:28Want to try me for a night?
00:23:30Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:23:33Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:23:36They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:23:39Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:23:41She's only here to try and ruin my bill in the Maple Plaza project.
00:23:44I'm gonna kill that sushi chef.
00:23:46Security!
00:23:51Security!
00:23:52You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:23:56And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:23:58You!
00:24:00Insolent fools.
00:24:02Let me guess.
00:24:04You're that special guest?
00:24:06I don't know.
00:24:08Throw them out!
00:24:10And not without some broken bones, too.
00:24:18Back down, ass.
00:24:22I got this.
00:24:52What the hell are you two doing here?
00:24:54I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:24:56No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:24:59Oh my god, we're so screwed!
00:25:10Angela!
00:25:12Don't hurt her!
00:25:14You bitch. I've always been sick of you.
00:25:16You just threw yourself at me.
00:25:18How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:25:20Boss?
00:25:22Purple.
00:25:24Miss Musk?
00:25:26That's Ellen Musk?
00:25:28That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:25:30My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:25:33Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:25:36Past the American Revolution?
00:25:38Back to the Renaissance.
00:25:40If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:25:43That's Lady Lockhart to you.
00:25:45She's royalty.
00:25:47And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:25:50What the hell did you do?
00:25:52Oh, your majesty.
00:25:55Welcome to the United States.
00:25:58We've always been your loyal subjects.
00:26:01Yes, your highness.
00:26:03Is it a queen or a princess?
00:26:06It doesn't matter.
00:26:08My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:26:11We didn't mean to offend.
00:26:13What are you doing, you idiot?
00:26:15Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness.
00:26:22What rightfully belongs to you.
00:26:43She's a badass herself.
00:26:45He missed out on a good wife.
00:26:47You!
00:26:49You!
00:26:50You told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:26:53Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time.
00:26:56No, no, don't believe their lies.
00:26:58I worked hard for everything.
00:27:00You worked for everything?
00:27:06Hi, honey.
00:27:08So, our 30th anniversary is coming up.
00:27:11And I thought that maybe we can do something special this year.
00:27:14I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:27:16I have to figure out this bid for the mayor.
00:27:18Figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project.
00:27:20And if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:27:30You were nothing before me.
00:27:33All your achievements.
00:27:35All your glory.
00:27:37That's all mine.
00:27:39Including the Maple Plaza contract.
00:27:41I can take all of that away.
00:27:44Just like that.
00:27:46No, you can't take that away from me.
00:27:49So that's why Elon Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody.
00:27:52Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:27:56Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:27:58It was Queen Victoria's.
00:28:00And it's worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:28:08No.
00:28:10I gave you back the ring.
00:28:12I divorced a royal heiress.
00:28:14No!
00:28:16No, Angela, please!
00:28:18No, please take me back, baby!
00:28:20I still love you!
00:28:24Oh, man.
00:28:26Looks like they've started the party without us.
00:28:28No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower.
00:28:36God, these two again.
00:28:38Did he say...
00:28:40Is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:28:42President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:28:43After General Eisenhower won World War II,
00:28:45each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals.
00:28:48The highest rank in the nation's military.
00:28:50Bloody buffoons know your history.
00:28:52Sorry I'm late, babe.
00:28:54I got lost trying to find Atlanta.
00:28:56Then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:29:02And that there is...
00:29:04That is the legendary boy genius, Dr. Wilson.
00:29:07He's Dr. House's protege.
00:29:09Dr. House?
00:29:11I thought that was just a TV show.
00:29:13Based on a real figure.
00:29:15Yep, that's me.
00:29:17Son of James House.
00:29:19Dr. House?
00:29:21He's practically my uncle.
00:29:23I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him
00:29:25when I was just 12 years old.
00:29:27So he's been off carrying himself a waterfall
00:29:29somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 15 years.
00:29:31And I'm late because I ran out of gum
00:29:33and had to make a pit stop.
00:29:37Hey, Ellen.
00:29:39Who are these weirdos
00:29:41and why are they here?
00:29:43They're my fiancés.
00:29:45What?
00:29:47Fiancés?
00:29:49Plural?
00:29:51Fiancés?
00:29:53Plural?
00:29:55Watch it, nerds.
00:29:57I'm her fiancé.
00:29:59No, I'm her fiancé.
00:30:01You can both shut up.
00:30:03I'm her fiancé.
00:30:05It's you.
00:30:07It's me.
00:30:08Who the hell is he?
00:30:10I'm Spider-Man.
00:30:12Your father had arranged these engagements
00:30:14years ago, but I didn't tell you
00:30:16because you decided to marry Jared Cooper
00:30:18at the time.
00:30:20She has three badass fiancés
00:30:22and she marries his dumb ass.
00:30:25Whatever.
00:30:27Since you're all here,
00:30:29help me finish him.
00:30:32Since you're all here,
00:30:34help me finish him.
00:30:37At your service.
00:30:39Me too.
00:30:42Oh!
00:30:44One down, two more to go.
00:30:46She's become queen.
00:30:48Bishop to G4.
00:30:52Ow!
00:30:54What is that?
00:30:56The most German festin' water
00:30:58in the Nile River.
00:31:02Rook to A8.
00:31:08Hello?
00:31:12I thought I was king.
00:31:14No, you wish.
00:31:16The king doesn't do anything,
00:31:18so Alan can be my king.
00:31:20Oh, fine.
00:31:23Bankrupt to four.
00:31:25It's right this second.
00:31:30I...
00:31:32I've been bankrupt!
00:31:34No!
00:31:36Rook to A8.
00:31:42I've been bankrupt!
00:31:44No!
00:31:46I told you I would remove all of you
00:31:48from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:31:50Well, guess what?
00:31:52Game over.
00:31:54All right, boys.
00:31:56Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:31:58Oh, that's serious business.
00:32:00I'm right with you.
00:32:02Wait for me.
00:32:04Nobody beats me to the finish line.
00:32:12Angela!
00:32:16You already have three fiancés?
00:32:18You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:32:20I...
00:32:22want compensation.
00:32:25You greedy SOB.
00:32:27Who the fuck is that?
00:32:29My ex-husband.
00:32:31Wait, you were married?
00:32:33Yeah, and if that's a problem for you,
00:32:35then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:32:37More for me?
00:32:39No, no, of course not.
00:32:40Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:32:42Don't steal my joke.
00:32:44I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:32:46All the evidence of your past with him will be gone.
00:32:49What?
00:32:51Is there something on my face?
00:32:53Yeah, murderous intent.
00:32:55Let's remarry.
00:32:57Let's remarry.
00:32:59You still don't realize.
00:33:01I only fell in love with you
00:33:03because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:33:10I'm sorry.
00:33:31Sir, it's an emergency!
00:33:33We need to wreck right away!
00:33:35Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:33:38Okay, I'm on my way.
00:33:42She should be okay now.
00:33:47Hey, you!
00:33:49Watch over here.
00:33:50I'll be right back.
00:33:59You saved me.
00:34:03Fuck.
00:34:05I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:06Fuck.
00:34:08I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:10You've cheated on me.
00:34:12You've hit me.
00:34:14And you've insulted me.
00:34:16And after all that,
00:34:18I never want to see you again.
00:34:20I fucking hate you.
00:34:22Lady Lockhart!
00:34:24What?
00:34:25What now?
00:34:27Oh, yes.
00:34:29We understand that you are a very busy person.
00:34:31But if you're not going to give your ex-husband
00:34:33the Maple Leaf,
00:34:34or your ex-husband
00:34:36the Maple Plaza project...
00:34:38How about us three?
00:34:40Yes, unlike that scumbag,
00:34:42we won't turn on you.
00:34:44Yeah, no.
00:34:46You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:34:48This is your fault, you doofus!
00:34:50We never should have believed your bullshit!
00:34:52No!
00:34:54No!
00:34:56We can't lose our positions
00:34:58with Elon Musk and the Lockharts.
00:35:00I'll get you for this!
00:35:04I never should have listened to you!
00:35:06I'm ruined because of you!
00:35:21So,
00:35:23what's the situation here?
00:35:25I want to marry you!
00:35:27Listen,
00:35:29I only met you guys a few hours ago
00:35:31and I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:35:33But,
00:35:35what if I told you
00:35:37that we've known each other
00:35:39for much longer
00:35:40than just a few hours?
00:35:42Much longer?
00:35:44What if I told you
00:35:46that we've known each other
00:35:48for much longer
00:35:50than just a few hours?
00:35:52What if I told you
00:35:54that we've known each other
00:35:55for much longer?
00:35:58Angela,
00:36:00your parents would like to have a video call
00:36:02with all of you.
00:36:06My lovely princess,
00:36:08how are you?
00:36:10Look, your mother and I are in Italy!
00:36:12The views here are absolutely stunning!
00:36:14Perfect for a wedding,
00:36:16wouldn't you say?
00:36:18I heard you finally divorced
00:36:20that good-for-nothing,
00:36:22blood-sucking,
00:36:24I can't call his name,
00:36:26but anyway,
00:36:28congratulations!
00:36:30I've selected three prime young men
00:36:32for you to choose from
00:36:34to replace him.
00:36:36You must pick one of them to marry,
00:36:38otherwise...
00:36:39Let me do it.
00:36:41You must choose one of them
00:36:43in seven days,
00:36:45otherwise we'll kill ourselves.
00:36:47Mom!
00:36:49Alright honey, that's it.
00:36:51Bye!
00:36:52So,
00:36:54who are you going to choose?
00:36:57Well,
00:36:59what if I
00:37:01want all three of you?
00:37:03Well,
00:37:05what if I
00:37:07want all three of you?
00:37:09That seems greedy.
00:37:15But,
00:37:17I can always remove
00:37:19the other two options.
00:37:21Hey,
00:37:23I may be a doctor,
00:37:25but I can take lives too.
00:37:27I know and have access
00:37:29to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:37:31Well, okay,
00:37:33no murder please, I was just kidding.
00:37:36You have seven days to win her over.
00:37:38Ooh,
00:37:40it's like The Bachelorette.
00:37:42I know,
00:37:44we'll start with challenge one.
00:37:47Welcome to the show,
00:37:49the three badasses who want me.
00:37:51Today,
00:37:53we have our first challenge.
00:37:56What is all of this, Ellen?
00:37:59You'll see.
00:38:08Oh my god, oh my god!
00:38:10Cockroaches!
00:38:12All women are afraid of cockroaches
00:38:14and it is every man's job
00:38:16to save their beloved woman
00:38:18from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:38:19What will our three candidates do
00:38:21to prove their undying love
00:38:23for our single woman
00:38:25but screaming her head off air?
00:38:34Looks like one of our contestants
00:38:36has already called it quits.
00:38:38It's up to the final two.
00:38:49Oh!
00:39:01Crunchy.
00:39:03That is sick cold.
00:39:05Hey, when you're stranded
00:39:07in the middle of the battlefield,
00:39:09you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:39:11There are two more left,
00:39:13wanna try one?
00:39:15Oh my god, no, no!
00:39:17Oh my god, say!
00:39:19Save you, you're gonna save me!
00:39:23I'm a germophobic doctor.
00:39:25These hands can't get germs on them.
00:39:27They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:39:44Thank god you're here.
00:39:46Are you alright, honey?
00:39:48Angela!
00:39:51Alright, you won the first challenge,
00:39:53so your reward,
00:39:55you get to watch over her for the night.
00:39:57Just don't cross the line,
00:39:59if you know what I mean.
00:40:01I'm not her scumbag husband.
00:40:03You have nothing to worry about.
00:40:09Honestly, even if you guys fuck,
00:40:11it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:40:13At least my girlfriend can't see it.
00:40:14I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:40:18The cockroaches!
00:40:20They're gone, they're gone.
00:40:22There's nothing in this room
00:40:24except you and me, okay?
00:40:26I'm going to kill Ellen
00:40:28when I see her tomorrow.
00:40:32I need a drink.
00:40:41What?
00:40:42Whoa, easy!
00:40:44You're on an empty stomach.
00:40:46Why do you care?
00:40:48I'm trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:40:53You guys were right.
00:40:55I was blind for marrying that asshole.
00:40:58You know,
00:41:00I wasted three whole years
00:41:02of my life with him.
00:41:04He never even loved me.
00:41:06And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:41:08Do you really think
00:41:10that you would still be number one
00:41:12on the Forbes 30 under 30 list
00:41:14if I was around?
00:41:18You may not be number one
00:41:20on Forbes list,
00:41:22but you know what your number one is?
00:41:24What?
00:41:28You're number one here.
00:41:29You know,
00:41:31we've known each other
00:41:33kind of a long time.
00:41:35Lies.
00:41:38You all just want something from me.
00:41:45Angela,
00:41:47I know it's hard to trust again.
00:41:50But I assure you,
00:41:52I do not trust you.
00:41:54I don't trust you.
00:41:56I don't trust you.
00:41:58I assure you,
00:42:00I don't care
00:42:02what family you're from.
00:42:04I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:42:06I don't need your power,
00:42:08your status, your wealth,
00:42:10your connections.
00:42:13I just need you.
00:42:17I'll prove my love to you
00:42:19within six days.
00:42:21I promise.
00:42:28Screw the contest.
00:42:30I just want love.
00:42:33Angela,
00:42:35you're drunk.
00:42:37I'm an adult.
00:42:39Can't a girl just get what she wants?
00:42:41Okay.
00:42:46But love and sex
00:42:48aren't exactly the same thing.
00:42:50Well,
00:42:51they're not
00:42:53mutually exclusive either.
00:42:54This is what you want.
00:43:24Nine-inch penis.
00:43:26Morning to you, too.
00:43:29You sure you were drunk last night?
00:43:31You wouldn't...
00:43:32A girl remembers when she's had a
00:43:34nine-inch penis inside of her.
00:43:37Well,
00:43:38glad you enjoyed it.
00:43:40But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:43:43Because then they would...
00:43:45Say that you were being unfair?
00:43:47No.
00:43:49I'm not being unfair.
00:43:51I'm not being unfair.
00:43:53Technically,
00:43:55us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:43:57I won the first challenge.
00:43:59And according to Ellen,
00:44:01my prize was to spend a night with you anyway.
00:44:04Don't make this any harder
00:44:06than it already is.
00:44:10You sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:44:14Stop.
00:44:17Fine, fine, fine.
00:44:21I won't tell.
00:44:23But only on one condition.
00:44:27I won't tell.
00:44:30But only on one condition.
00:44:32You have to go out on a date with me.
00:44:35Fine.
00:44:40I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:44:43You never noticed me.
00:44:49You should get dressed
00:44:51and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:44:53It's only 7am.
00:44:55She's still sleeping.
00:44:57I'm not sleeping alone.
00:44:59Yeah, I'm not letting my fiance be alone
00:45:01with another man for another second.
00:45:04Morning, gentlemen.
00:45:06Or shall I say ruffmen?
00:45:08Oh, don't mind him.
00:45:10What's up, guys?
00:45:12We're ready for the second challenge.
00:45:14No cockroaches this time.
00:45:16Yes, no more terrifying things.
00:45:18That was my bad, Angela.
00:45:20This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:45:21I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:45:23The second challenge is...
00:45:25The second challenge is...
00:45:27A date.
00:45:29Lane, I should have asked for something else.
00:45:31A date?
00:45:33That's it.
00:45:34What's the catch?
00:45:36No catch.
00:45:38Just who Ms. Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:45:40As simple as that.
00:45:42I know what I want to do.
00:45:44Let's start with me first.
00:45:46Okay, who's up first?
00:45:48Me.
00:45:50Then it's decided.
00:45:54Please don't take my BMW away.
00:45:57Too bad.
00:45:59You pissed off the Lockharts.
00:46:01I have nothing left.
00:46:11It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:16It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:20It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:26General Eisenhower, sir!
00:46:28At ease, Lieutenant.
00:46:30This is my lieutenant.
00:46:32He also manages this boxing gym.
00:46:34Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower.
00:46:36You're so serious.
00:46:38But hang on.
00:46:40Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet.
00:46:42Baby, I decided to take you here on our first date so that I can introduce you to my guns.
00:46:46Guns?
00:46:47Like murder weapons?
00:46:48Yes.
00:46:50Murder weapons.
00:47:10You like my guns, babe?
00:47:12Pretty rock hard.
00:47:14Yeah.
00:47:16Let me show you what I can do with them.
00:47:17Lieutenant!
00:47:19Come close!
00:47:21Wait!
00:47:22You're just going to hit him like that?
00:47:24He's not even going to fight back?
00:47:26Fighting back would be treason, ma'am!
00:47:28Treason?
00:47:30You guys are way too serious.
00:47:32Look, you Lockhart bitch!
00:47:34I caught you!
00:47:36If I'm going down, you're all going down with me!
00:47:38Lieutenant!
00:47:40Pistol attack!
00:47:47You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:47:53I will make you pay!
00:47:56You don't need to keep beating him up.
00:47:58We could just take him to the cops.
00:48:00Not when he tries to hurt you.
00:48:07He's always a bit violent.
00:48:09Some might call it being protective.
00:48:11Poor anger issues.
00:48:13What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster on an antenna?
00:48:16Is he going to be, like, rough?
00:48:19Hey, some girls are into that.
00:48:21I don't know if I am.
00:48:24Well, maybe shame will be your type.
00:48:29Your date with Shane starts now.
00:48:36Hey.
00:48:38Cool ride.
00:48:40A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:48:43Impressive.
00:48:44Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:48:47Refreshing.
00:48:49I got cool mint, too.
00:48:51Or do you prefer Spearmint?
00:48:54What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:48:57Fruit flavored gum.
00:48:59I can't stand those.
00:49:01So, where are you taking me?
00:49:03Let me show you.
00:49:14Dr. Wilson!
00:49:16Our VIP of VIPs.
00:49:18Right this way.
00:49:20VIP of VIPs?
00:49:22Ah, just some other guy I saved.
00:49:24I forget who.
00:49:26You saved a lot of people.
00:49:28I do what I can.
00:49:30Oh, my gosh.
00:49:32It's my gold-digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:49:36Sandra Miller.
00:49:38What are you doing here?
00:49:40I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:49:42Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce
00:49:44and I hired some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:49:48How low of you.
00:49:50What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:49:52Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:49:54I sell high-fashion jewelry pieces so high-end,
00:49:57you couldn't even afford even a few soldier organs.
00:50:00The auction begins.
00:50:02I'll deal with you later.
00:50:05Here, I'll just be back in a second.
00:50:12Cameron.
00:50:14I have a task for you.
00:50:17Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:50:21Cleopatra's armband.
00:50:23Sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller, for five million dollars.
00:50:30Excuse me.
00:50:32I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:34It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:37I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:39It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:41What are you doing?
00:50:43Just watch.
00:50:50That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:50:52Please.
00:50:54I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:50:56She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:50:58You work at a flea market?
00:51:00Not this again.
00:51:02Cut the bullshit.
00:51:03That wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:51:05Oh yeah?
00:51:06Here, you want it?
00:51:07For free.
00:51:09Ew!
00:51:10I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:51:11Well, that's too bad then.
00:51:13Because you are the fraud.
00:51:16What are you talking about?
00:51:18And who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:51:20Throw them out.
00:51:22Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine.
00:51:25But we're professionals.
00:51:27Oh yeah?
00:51:29And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:51:31Yeah.
00:51:33Mine is the real thing.
00:51:35You two are just upset because you're too poor to afford our luxury items.
00:51:39What does that mean?
00:51:41How is that so?
00:51:43When a so-called expert failed to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:51:46Dear Lord.
00:51:48This is real.
00:51:50It's authentic.
00:51:52It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:57Karen, what have you found?
00:52:00Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me?
00:52:03It's a replica.
00:52:05They had the same one right here at the flea market.
00:52:08So...
00:52:10You are the fraud.
00:52:12You just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:52:16And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:52:19150.
00:52:21Wow, not even five dollars.
00:52:24Sandra.
00:52:26You've been duping us the whole time?
00:52:28Arrest her!
00:52:30No!
00:52:32Please!
00:52:34What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:52:35Investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor of Japan. Bye.
00:52:39A lot, Calista, from the jewelry industry forever.
00:52:50I had a really great time tonight.
00:52:53Me too.
00:52:55May I have a kiss?
00:53:05Something wrong?
00:53:07Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:53:14Yep.
00:53:16You never have to worry about stinky breath from me.
00:53:26Oh!
00:53:28Oh!
00:53:30Oh!
00:53:32Oh!
00:53:33Oh!
00:53:35You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:53:40I don't have any money.
00:53:42How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:53:44I guess you'll only pay up...
00:53:48If I break your other leg.
00:53:51Stop!
00:53:55Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:53:59Mr. Buffett.
00:54:01This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:54:05That's right. Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:54:08I knew Angelo was still in love with me.
00:54:11I knew Angelo was still in love with me.
00:54:14No, no. Sorry about those injuries from earlier.
00:54:17It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:54:20Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:54:23And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good word for us?
00:54:28Angela still loves me. She's just throwing a fit.
00:54:31She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:54:33Yeah, do you need any help winning her back?
00:54:36We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:54:38I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago,
00:54:41and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:54:44It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:54:47Sure.
00:54:49I'll put in a good word for you.
00:54:51I just need...
00:54:52Anything. You tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:54:55Once I tell you...
00:54:57I'll give you anything.
00:54:59Once I take everything from these idiots,
00:55:02I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:55:10I'm giving the contract to Jared Cooper just like you asked me to.
00:55:14Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:55:17Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:55:20I don't get it, Ms. Musk.
00:55:22That contract has a preliminary clause.
00:55:24It requires him to pay 50% of the costs upfront as a deposit.
00:55:27And if he can't, then what?
00:55:29He'll be bankrupt.
00:55:31So as long as he's greedy, I have to take it.
00:55:34I'm avenging my best friend.
00:55:37I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:55:46I signed the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:49We should celebrate.
00:55:51You did?
00:55:53You see, I know my son has it in him.
00:55:54That skank Angela is nothing next to you.
00:55:58And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:56:01Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:56:05What?
00:56:07You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:56:10Oh, no, no, no. He's not.
00:56:12Jared, what are you doing?
00:56:14You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:56:18It's my decision, Mom.
00:56:20I'm the head of the house here.
00:56:22I'm telling my dad.
00:56:24Go right ahead. He has enough problems himself.
00:56:26If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as his side piece.
00:56:29But if not, you can scram.
00:56:31Dad.
00:56:33Jared is being mean to me.
00:56:35Teach him a lesson.
00:56:37Kaylee, be a good girl, okay?
00:56:39Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:56:42Don't get on his bad side.
00:56:44We can't afford to piss him off.
00:56:46So do as he says.
00:56:48But, Dad.
00:56:54I'm sorry.
00:56:56I'll be your side piece.
00:56:58Very good.
00:57:00I'm happy you've come around.
00:57:02Now, let's go celebrate.
00:57:05I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:57:10But that tongue action, though.
00:57:12Tongue is important.
00:57:14In more than just one spot.
00:57:16We aren't in public.
00:57:18It's true.
00:57:20Stomach ache.
00:57:22Again?
00:57:24Devon should be here to pick you up soon.
00:57:27Okay?
00:57:29Devon's late.
00:57:31Not a good sign for a date.
00:57:34This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:57:39It's her.
00:57:41And she's alone.
00:57:43With no one to save her.
00:57:45You whore.
00:57:47You seduced my son so he'd get back with you.
00:57:51Ah!
00:57:52Let me tell you.
00:57:54I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:58:01Hey, you guys can fight all you want.
00:58:03But you need to take this somewhere else.
00:58:05Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:58:08What? Why do I have to leave?
00:58:10She's the one starting shit.
00:58:12Because I have money and you don't.
00:58:14You're just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:58:16And my son just signed a 100 billion dollar contract.
00:58:20He still got the contract?
00:58:22Hmm. Must be Ellen's doing.
00:58:25Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:58:29Oh, he's just gonna...
00:58:31Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:34Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:40You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own.
00:58:45My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
00:58:48One thousand dollars to take her away.
00:58:51Two thousand dollars to drag her away.
00:58:54Five thousand dollars to beat her away.
00:59:00Oh! Oh! Hey! Hey! Ow! Hey!
00:59:03Stop!
00:59:06You okay? Are you hurt?
00:59:12Weakling.
00:59:14You! You! Just a few days ago you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
00:59:18And now you have two more?
00:59:20What a whore.
00:59:22What a whore.
00:59:24Yeah. And Jared wanted to get back with her?
00:59:26What if she has an STD?
00:59:28Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
00:59:32Let's go. We'll expose her to Jared.
00:59:35Hang on.
00:59:37What do you want?
00:59:39I'll scream!
00:59:41I don't hit women. But I never said I don't kill women.
00:59:46But I never said I don't kill women.
00:59:48But I never said I don't kill women.
00:59:50Oh God. He is a murderer.
00:59:53What if he murders me?
00:59:55Not him. Definitely not him.
01:00:01We're not afraid of you.
01:00:03That's enough. This isn't a war zone.
01:00:05You'll be removed from being a five-star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
01:00:10I was just messing with him.
01:00:12Was he though?
01:00:14We're not afraid of you.
01:00:15Jared! You have to avenge us.
01:00:18Look at this slut. She's found two more boy toys.
01:00:21She's cheating on you. Don't get back with her.
01:00:23Oh, Mr. Cooper. It's you.
01:00:25I apologize for this scene.
01:00:27I'll toss out the potty crashes immediately so that you can go to your salvation banquet.
01:00:31Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:33Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:35The potty crashes.
01:00:39You have any idea who that is?
01:00:41That's my wife.
01:00:43We saved that title for the real skank over there.
01:00:46That's right. Know your place.
01:00:48Shut up.
01:00:50She's cheating on you.
01:00:53Know your place. You're just a side piece. If I still want you, that is.
01:00:57Eric, have you gone mad? This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter. You slap her for this whore?
01:01:03Mom!
01:01:05I really think there's something, huh?
01:01:07Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:01:10She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:01:13I only got the Maple Closet Project because she gave it to me.
01:01:17What?
01:01:19You apologize right now or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:01:29I'm sorry.
01:01:31No. This can't be. I made you divorce...
01:01:37Go home. You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
01:01:47I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:01:50Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
01:01:54I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:01:57I didn't come here for you. I'm on a date.
01:02:02A date with two men at the same time?
01:02:04She really is a whore.
01:02:06Angela, please forgive me. I really do love you.
01:02:11Oh-ho! Lady Lockhart is here!
01:02:15Oh-ho! Lady Lockhart is here!
01:02:19Yeah, we already know you beat Ford's ass. We're too old for that.
01:02:25They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:02:28Please, you gave me the contract so if anyone should go as my guest,
01:02:33it should be you.
01:02:35Oh, yes, please, Miss Lockhart. Join us. We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:02:41What the hell are you all doing here?
01:02:44Where were you?
01:02:46Stomach issues.
01:02:48Again? Would you like my diagnosis?
01:02:50No.
01:02:52Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:02:56I would rather die than be with you again.
01:02:59Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:03:03I can't lose face in front of these pricks. Otherwise, they'll cut me off, too.
01:03:07Angela, I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance. I'll prove it to you.
01:03:11You want a chance?
01:03:13Angela, no. You have three great guys here who all want to marry you. Don't take him back.
01:03:19I'll give you two choices.
01:03:23I'll give you two choices.
01:03:26Me.
01:03:28Me.
01:03:30Or the contract.
01:03:32You're kidding me.
01:03:34No, I'm not kidding you.
01:03:36If you choose me, we can remarry this week.
01:03:40But you don't get the hundred billion dollar contract.
01:03:44The choice is all yours.
01:03:46That's a choice.
01:03:48You think so? He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:03:53Either way, he benefits.
01:03:55Why can't I have both?
01:03:56You really are a greedy bastard.
01:03:59Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember? I deserve the contract.
01:04:03Did you really?
01:04:08Look who's fashionably late now.
01:04:11He didn't save her at the pool.
01:04:14What are you talking about?
01:04:16I choose the contract.
01:04:19I knew it. You'll get what's coming to you.
01:04:21With this contract, my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:04:25Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:04:29I will get you one day.
01:04:31Let me show you something.
01:04:43You saved me.
01:04:51You saved me.
01:04:53I'm sorry.
01:04:55If his lies led to you wasting three years of your life.
01:05:00But I promise you.
01:05:02I'm gonna make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:05:05No, no. I wasn't lying. I just couldn't, can't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:05:18Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:05:21What? Me? Dr. Wilson? Losing at saving people? No way.
01:05:28You guys. One of you. Do something life-threatening right now.
01:05:32You're crazy.
01:05:34And actually, they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:05:39What?
01:05:42Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:05:45Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:05:48Put it simply. They've been stealing from you.
01:05:52I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:05:55Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry. I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly.
01:06:00No, it's not your fault. They're just too slick.
01:06:03You like me to punish them for you?
01:06:05Oh God, no. Not that again. Please.
01:06:08Max. You know what to do.
01:06:18The banks have pulled all of our funds.
01:06:21All business ties have been severed. We're bankrupt!
01:06:27How did you do that?
01:06:30Who are you? And don't say Spider-Man!
01:06:35I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:38I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:41I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:44I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:46I am...
01:06:49I am...
01:06:51Crypto Punk Number Two!
01:06:53What did he say he was?
01:06:55That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:06:57You're Crypto Punk Number Two?
01:07:00Well, I'm Crypto Punk Number One.
01:07:03See? You are number one at something.
01:07:05The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:07:08Forget Forbes' list. It's all about young money now.
01:07:12So, how about our date?
01:07:15I'm not letting them one-up me on this one.
01:07:18I'll spy too.
01:07:33They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:07:36I still have the 100 billion dollar project.
01:07:39Yes! I'm rich!
01:07:42I'm rich!
01:07:45I'm rich!
01:07:47I can make them all pay soon!
01:07:54What?
01:07:56Mr. Cooper, sir. The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs up front.
01:08:01Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:08:06No!
01:08:08I'm bankrupt.
01:08:10I'm just a little off guard.
01:08:12You tricked me!
01:08:13Oh, allow me.
01:08:18I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:08:21I had to get some very important materials for our special date.
01:08:27Well, cheers.
01:08:30Cheers.
01:08:39This looks good.
01:08:42This looks good.
01:08:47Did you use my spices?
01:08:50I know your ex-in-law has never appreciated you.
01:08:55You can have all the money and power in the world and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:09:02I couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:09:04Angela, your future with me is going to be different.
01:09:12Come on.
01:09:14Let's dance.
01:09:34Wow.
01:09:36Devon, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on these past few years just because of some silly mistake.
01:09:45Angela, I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:09:50Actually, I've also loved you for three years.
01:09:54That's right. I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:09:58How is all of this possible?
01:10:00I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:10:04Well, actually, maybe Devon, but...
01:10:08I've had a crush on you since college.
01:10:11You were my motivation to go to business school.
01:10:15Despite who you were, you never judged me for being poor.
01:10:21Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:10:27All you do is babble on and on about Internet money, Bitcoin, and shit like that.
01:10:35Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:10:39I'll teach you a lesson.
01:10:42Hey! Get away from him!
01:10:44Angela!
01:10:47Fancy girl. I like her.
01:10:49Fancy girl. I like her.
01:11:02How is he?
01:11:04It's a rare poison made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa.
01:11:08Astragal, saltifu.
01:11:10Can it be cured?
01:11:12I actually think I know that poison.
01:11:14It sounds really scary, but its cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:11:17Household salt.
01:11:26I like her.
01:11:29There you go.
01:11:31What time is it now?
01:11:34Oh, shoot. I'm late for swim practice.
01:11:43I like her.
01:11:44We have been rivals ever since.
01:11:47So, that's how I, well, we all met.
01:11:52I barely remember.
01:11:54I should have never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:11:57Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me, attacked you out of revenge.
01:12:02You wouldn't have known.
01:12:04I did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:12:06If that makes you feel any better.
01:12:08Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:12:10Angela, your seven days is almost up.
01:12:13Now that you know they all loved and fought for you for three years, who will you pick?
01:12:24How can that be?
01:12:26Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:12:33Kaylee, we've gone bankrupt.
01:12:36Bankrupt?
01:12:38The Vanderbilt's have gone bankrupt?
01:12:40Well, then, get out of here!
01:12:43You can't do this to me!
01:12:47Jared!
01:12:48Mom, it's me.
01:12:50What happened?
01:12:52Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:12:55Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:12:57You should get back with your wife.
01:12:59We're bankrupt.
01:13:01What?
01:13:05Jared Cooper.
01:13:07We're here to propose to your belongings.
01:13:11No one is going to save you now.
01:13:14Mom!
01:13:18What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:13:24Who will you pick?
01:13:28I...
01:13:34I brought you fried chicken.
01:13:35I brought you fried chicken?
01:13:37Fried chicken?
01:13:38Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:13:40Yeah, he's right.
01:13:41I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:13:43Sucking up last minute!
01:13:45At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:13:48Hey, stop.
01:13:49Stop.
01:13:51Welcome back to the Bachelorette.
01:13:54I mean, the three badasses who want me.
01:13:57I mean, Angela Lockhart...
01:14:00You know what I mean.
01:14:01Today, our heiress bachelorette will choose which one of our three badasses will she marry.
01:14:08Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:14:12Cole, the general?
01:14:16Or Devin, the CEO?
01:14:22Looks like our bachelorette may need a little more time to decide.
01:14:26Oh, the suspense is killing me.
01:14:29But when she does, she will take this eternal rose,
01:14:33made from glass imported from Venice,
01:14:35and give it to our winner.
01:14:38Angela?
01:14:41Angela?
01:14:43Oh, I...
01:14:46I need more time to think.
01:14:52While our bachelorette takes a little time to decide,
01:14:55why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:14:57Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:15:00Let's start with Cole.
01:15:02Cole?
01:15:06There's not much to say.
01:15:08Who wouldn't want a five-star general,
01:15:10who has huge biceps,
01:15:12a massive chest,
01:15:15who would protect their wife?
01:15:19Okay, thank you.
01:15:22Shane?
01:15:25Muscles.
01:15:27Money.
01:15:29They won't get you so far.
01:15:30But you need a well-balanced man like me,
01:15:32that has more than one way to keep a lady happy,
01:15:35if you know what I mean.
01:15:39Okay, I think we do.
01:15:41And Devin?
01:15:44That was quite disgusting.
01:15:48I just hope Angela's okay.
01:15:51I know she's going under a lot of stress right now,
01:15:53a lot of choices to make.
01:15:55And she's my queen.
01:15:57I just really hope she's okay.
01:15:59And then one more thing.
01:16:01What kind of a doctor
01:16:03brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:16:06That's a good point.
01:16:07It's bad for her heart.
01:16:10And then you!
01:16:11What?
01:16:12You know what they say about military men.
01:16:15They beat their wives.
01:16:21Enough!
01:16:23Stand up!
01:16:25Hey, you guys.
01:16:28Whoa, break it up!
01:16:30Hey!
01:16:31Break it up!
01:16:36Cut to commercial!
01:16:38Cut to commercial!
01:16:55This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life.
01:17:01Who do I choose?
01:17:10Angela's marrying me!
01:17:12You're not stealing her from me.
01:17:13Oh yeah?
01:17:15I may be a doctor,
01:17:16but like I said,
01:17:17I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:17:22What?
01:17:23Don't you have a night coat?
01:17:25Your flavor's gone.
01:17:26I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:17:28I'll fight you to the death.
01:17:30Don't forget about me.
01:17:33It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:17:38These stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:17:41They do not.
01:17:42They do not help.
01:17:43Who made these?
01:17:45Who made these?
01:18:05It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:18:10I'm actually a part of the X-Men,
01:18:12I have the power of telekinesis!
01:18:15Oh!
01:18:31We may have to work together to take him down.
01:18:43This battle within our heads is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:18:47I may not be able to take them both down if they decide to team up.
01:18:50Hmm...
01:18:52Winterment or Koum?
01:18:58You know, I've always really liked your hair.
01:19:01Really?
01:19:03I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it, so I appreciate that.
01:19:09Hey, hey, hey!
01:19:10And you know, Koum, I've always really liked the way you talk.
01:19:15Really?
01:19:16Yeah!
01:19:20What do you got for me?
01:19:21I always really like the way you chew gum.
01:19:25Yeah?
01:19:26It's fresh, right?
01:19:31You're actually a really good doctor.
01:19:34You need me to look at you? I got you.
01:19:36Hey, me?
01:19:38Angela's been kidnapped!
01:19:40Angela's been kidnapped!
01:19:42It was Jared Cooper!
01:19:44That fucker!
01:19:45We have to find her.
01:19:46What, how?
01:19:47Her ring.
01:19:48Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring, just in case.
01:19:52Well, let's go then!
01:19:54My fiancée!
01:19:55My fiancée!
01:20:02Jared...
01:20:04What am I doing here?
01:20:06You destroyed me.
01:20:09I took everything.
01:20:12What?
01:20:13I have nothing left.
01:20:15It's not my fault you were too greedy.
01:20:18I wasn't greedy.
01:20:19You had sex with my wife.
01:20:21What?
01:20:22I'm not your wife anymore!
01:20:24Oh, yeah, I know.
01:20:25You wouldn't take me back now, not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:20:28This is illegal!
01:20:29You wouldn't want to have sex with me.
01:20:31This is illegal!
01:20:32You wouldn't want your child to be away from its father.
01:20:35You won't have me arrested.
01:20:37You will take me back.
01:20:41Come on, bitch!
01:20:44I'll settle you down a little.
01:20:54You will be begging me to fuck you soon!
01:20:59Hey!
01:21:01Angela, come here!
01:21:06We're too late!
01:21:07I drugged her.
01:21:08She'll be dead soon unless...
01:21:09Not yet.
01:21:10Have you forgotten who I am?
01:21:13He really does have everything he was supposed to.
01:21:15Everything except for...
01:21:16Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum.
01:21:17We get it already.
01:21:18Just save my boss!
01:21:21Here you go.
01:21:27You're all good now.
01:21:29Oh, thank God.
01:21:31But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:21:33What? What are you going to do to me?
01:21:36Hey, stop! No, don't!
01:21:39Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:21:47Glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:21:49Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:21:57So, who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:21:59Have you invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding?
01:22:02The Prince of Bhutan?
01:22:04And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:22:12Welcome back to the finale of...
01:22:14The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:17We're down to the wire.
01:22:18Literally.
01:22:19The wedding day.
01:22:20But who's the groom?
01:22:30Uh...
01:22:31Seems our heiress still hasn't decided.
01:22:35Any input from the parents?
01:22:37Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:22:41Oh, this is exciting!
01:22:43Who should my daughter pick?
01:22:46Let me think.
01:22:48Who should I pick?
01:22:50I don't know.
01:22:51I don't know.
01:22:52I don't know.
01:22:53I don't know.
01:22:54I don't know.
01:22:55I don't know.
01:22:56I don't know.
01:22:57I don't know.
01:22:58Let me think.
01:23:02I like the doctor.
01:23:03He's cute.
01:23:06But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:23:11And we can't forget about Devon Sterling, the one who's loved her the longest.
01:23:14Isn't that right, Devon?
01:23:16Angela.
01:23:23You are all three very fine gentlemen.
01:23:28And I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:23:33But this was a really hard decision.
01:23:36And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:41And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:49I'm just kidding.
01:23:50I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:23:52I'm just kidding.
01:23:53I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:23:57Each of our candidates have saved our main character.
01:24:01I mean, Bachelorette, once.
01:24:03They've all proven their undying love.
01:24:06So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:24:09Literally.
01:24:12Could it be the sexy and protective, general with a temper, Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:24:23Or the fun, wicked-minded, but kind of weird, Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:24:33And last but not least, could it be the richest man of them all?
01:24:38The man Angela would have married a long time ago, Mr. Devon Sterling.
01:24:45Gentlemen.
01:24:47It's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:24:49May the best man win.
01:24:51May the best man win.
01:24:54Drum roll, please.
01:25:09Daringly, Ricky.
01:25:18I choose...
01:25:29I need a powerful, strong man in my village to feel like he can protect me.
01:25:35Who could resist those guns?
01:25:39Could I interest you in an NFD, Ellen?
01:25:41Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:25:48I do.
01:25:57Shane, it's you. I'm lovesick for you.
01:26:00You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:26:02Yeah.
01:26:05It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:26:08Ellen, be my new queen.
01:26:10I hope we can build together.
01:26:12Guns, babe.
01:26:13Come on.
01:26:19Come on.
01:26:24It's always been you.
01:26:34I'll always love you.
01:26:38Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:26:41Ellen, Ellen. Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:26:43Have you seen my murdering weapons?
01:26:45I need fruit-flavored gum for you.
01:26:48I'll be right back.
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