- today
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Short filmTranscript
00:01There's something wrong with me.
00:09An emptiness.
00:14I thought it started when my sister died,
00:17but now it feels like something bigger.
00:24Just a void.
00:30Or maybe I'm just bored.
00:52Boo.
00:54Assignment is...
01:00Oh wait, hang on.
01:06Assignment is complete.
01:08I don't want to hurt you guys.
01:16Why don't you just turn yourselves in?
01:19No, you don't want to do this, Poggy.
01:22You can call me the sentry.
01:24Please, don't do this. You do not need to listen to her.
01:28Robert, they don't think you're good enough.
01:30That's not true, remember?
01:32You can trust me, I know you.
01:36I don't think that you do.
01:41Enough talking!
01:43No one messes with the West Chesapeake Valley.
01:48Thunderbolts!
01:50Thunderbolts?
01:51No, no, no!
01:57No, no, no!
02:00Wait!
02:01Bob, no!
02:10Alexi, wait!
02:11Wait!
02:41Stop, Bob!
03:11Oh, my God.
03:41Oh, I'm so glad you're able to catch a glimpse before your, uh, retirement.
04:00Camera crews are assembling.
04:03Finish the job, Robert.
04:07Finish the job.
04:11No.
04:13What?
04:14They're not a threat to me, so why do I need to kill them?
04:20You need to do what I say, Robert.
04:25Why?
04:28Why?
04:34Okay.
04:35We need a new plan.
04:37Ah, no new plans.
04:39The thing.
04:41It's too powerful.
04:43We just need to regroup and think there's got to be a way to stop that guy.
04:47We're not regrouping.
04:48This isn't even a team.
04:49Of course we're a team.
04:51We are the Thunderbolts.
04:52I don't know what that means.
04:54It's a peewee soccer team thing.
04:56We need to go somewhere to discuss this.
04:58Discuss what?
04:58We are going to regroup.
04:59We are going to go back in there.
05:00We need to turn my shield into a taco.
05:02Oh my God, stop.
05:05There is no us.
05:07There is no we.
05:09Bob changed into that thing, and there is nothing any of you can do about it.
05:13And what did you do exactly?
05:15Because I seem to remember you getting your ass beat way worse than mine.
05:18Yeah, yeah.
05:19I suck.
05:20I'm terrible.
05:21We're all terrible.
05:22Evie, you're not a hero.
05:24You're not even a good person.
05:27Bitch.
05:28See?
05:28Slow down.
05:30Alexi, I am not your amnichka.
05:32I haven't heard from you or seen you in a year.
05:35Okay, go easy on him.
05:36Oh, so you're nice now.
05:38It's my turn?
05:39No, you know you're a piece of trash walker.
05:40So does your family.
05:42Jesus.
05:44We're all losers.
05:47And we lost.
05:52And then I have these little widow bite things.
06:11I remember.
06:12And then I have this 19.
06:1545.
06:17The long barrel.
06:18Oh, wow.
06:20It's big.
06:21It's long.
06:22Yeah, it's a little long.
06:26And what about your hat?
06:28The hat.
06:29The helmet?
06:31Yeah.
06:31Whatever you want to call it.
06:33It's like cool.
06:34You like it?
06:35Do you like the hat?
06:39Yeah, I think the hat's pretty sweet.
06:42Then cool.
06:43What kind of super serum did you get?
06:46I don't know.
06:47Regular.
06:47Hydra.
06:48Hydra?
06:49Oh, fancy.
06:50Mine was Soviet recreation, but it's still good, you know?
06:55We are the same.
06:56You and me.
06:58Well.
06:58I mean, we are different.
06:59But we are the same.
07:00You know, we could be co-leaders in this, huh?
07:02A little different.
07:03You get tired.
07:04I drive.
07:05Huh?
07:06I don't get tired.
07:08No, I mean, that's horrible.
07:09I don't actually want to drive.
07:11I don't want to be there yet!
07:12Almost!
07:13Almost!
07:13Almost!
07:14Okay.
07:16Mr. Soldier, what is the secret plan, huh?
07:21The plan.
07:23Yeah.
07:31Open up!
07:33Don't move!
07:34I like this plan!
07:37I like this plan!
08:07Jesus, you guys, I literally just put that drywall in.
08:13I left the door unlocked for you.
08:15Come up.
08:16Come up.
08:16Come up.
08:32How crazy is it to think of all the monumental fights that happened exactly here where you're standing?
08:39Well, I don't really care.
08:43I mean, the place wasn't cheap, but it's got good optics.
08:47Well, it's over, Valentina.
08:49This ends today.
08:51Congressman Barnes.
08:52Wow.
08:53You know, I never really thought you'd have a promising political career, but less than half a term.
09:00Yikes.
09:01We're taking you in, Val.
09:04I don't think so.
09:06Junior varsity, Captain America.
09:10Walker.
09:13How nice to see you, Ava.
09:16Yelena.
09:18You look awful.
09:20You sure you're really ready for that public-facing role you asked me about?
09:24It's shit, Valentina.
09:25Where's Bob?
09:26Look at you.
09:28You are all so adorable.
09:30Just think.
09:31I send you down there to kill each other, and instead, you make nice and you form a team.
09:36Who is this old Santa?
09:41I'm Lexi Shostakov.
09:43The Red Guardian.
09:46What?
09:49Where's Mel?
09:50Mel?
09:51Oh, Mel.
09:52Yeah.
09:53Mel is having a little loyalty issue, but I'm just so grateful that she stayed long enough to lure you all in.
10:05I'm not alone.
10:06Robert.
10:14Being the hero, there is no higher calling.
10:18Serving people in the streets.
10:23Adored like gods.
10:26Dead.
10:27Dead's just a fairy tale.
10:29No one here is a hero.
10:32I am.
10:33Avoid.
10:34There's no use fighting.
10:36He's invincible.
10:38All-powerful.
10:39Stronger than all of the Avengers rolled into one.
10:43You don't know what I'm capable of.
10:47Maybe I need to show you.
10:53Avengers, you're gone.
10:54No one's coming to save the day.
10:56No one's coming to save the day.
10:57I think we are.
10:59Us?
10:59We could be the people that are coming.
11:01Yeah!
11:03Let's do this.
11:06We are the Thunderbolt!
11:10Finish the job.
11:13No.
11:14They're not a threat to me, so why do I need to kill them?
11:22You need to do what I say, Robert.
11:28Why?
11:31Why?
11:31We are the Thunderbolts.
11:55I don't know what that means.
11:56It's her pee-wee soccer team thing.
11:58We need to go somewhere to discuss this.
12:00Discuss what?
12:01We are going to regroup.
12:02We are going to go back in there.
12:03You're going to turn my shield into a taco.
12:05Oh, my God.
12:06Stop.
12:08There is no us.
12:10There is no we.
12:12Bob changed into that thing, and there is nothing any of you can do about it.
12:16And what did you do exactly?
12:18Because I seem to remember you getting your ass beat way worse than mine.
12:21Yeah.
12:21Yeah.
12:21I suck.
12:22I'm terrible.
12:24We're all terrible.
12:26Ava, you're not a hero.
12:27You're not even a good person.
12:29Bitch.
12:30See?
12:31Slow down.
12:32Alexi, I am not your amnichka.
12:35I haven't heard from you or seen you in a year.
12:37Okay, go easy on him.
12:39Oh, so you're nice now.
12:40It's my turn?
12:41No, you know you're a piece of trash walker.
12:43So does your family.
12:45Jesus.
12:46We're all losers.
12:50And we lost.
12:51Yalala!
13:09And then I have these little widow bite things.
13:14I remember.
13:15And then I have this 19.
13:1845.
13:19The long barrel.
13:21Mm, wow.
13:22It's big.
13:24It's long.
13:25Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:26It's a little long.
13:29And what about your hat?
13:31The hat.
13:32The helmet?
13:34Yeah.
13:34Whatever you want to call it.
13:35It's like cool.
13:37You like it?
13:38Do you like the hat?
13:41Yeah, I think the hat's pretty sweet.
13:44Then cool.
13:45What kind of super serum did you get?
13:49I don't know.
13:49Regular.
13:50Hydra.
13:51Hydra.
13:51Oh, fancy.
13:53Mine was Soviet recreation, but it's still good, you know?
13:58We are the same.
13:59You and me.
14:00Well...
14:01I mean, we are different.
14:02But we are the same.
14:03You know, we could be co-leaders in this, huh?
14:05A little different.
14:05You get tired, I drive.
14:08Huh?
14:09I don't get tired.
14:10No, I mean, that's horrible.
14:12You know, I don't actually want to drive.
14:13I'm not doing something.
14:15Almost!
14:15Almost!
14:16Okay.
14:19Mr. Soldier, what is secret blood?
14:23Huh?
14:24The plant.
14:25Yeah.
14:34Open up!
14:39I like this!
14:46Jesus, you guys, I literally just put that drywall in.
15:16I left the door unlocked for you.
15:18Come up.
15:35How crazy is it to think of all the monumental fights that happened exactly here where you're standing?
15:44Yeah.
15:44I don't really care.
15:46I mean, the place wasn't cheap, but it's got good optics.
15:50Well, it's over, Valentina.
15:52This ends today.
15:54Congressman Barnes.
15:55Wow.
15:55You know, I never really thought you'd have a promising political career, but less than half a term.
16:03Yikes.
16:04We're taking you in, Val.
16:05I don't think so.
16:06I don't think so.
16:06I don't think so.
16:08Junior varsity, Captain America.
16:13Walker.
16:15How nice to see you, Ava.
16:19Yelena.
16:19You look awful.
16:22You sure you're really ready for that public-facing role you asked me about?
16:26It's shit, Valentina.
16:28Where's Bob?
16:29Look at you.
16:30You are all so adorable.
16:33Just think.
16:33I send you down there to kill each other, and instead, you make nice and you form a team.
16:39Who is this old Santa?
16:43I'm Lexi Shostakov.
16:46The Red Guardian.
16:49What?
16:51Where's Mel?
16:53Mel?
16:54Oh, Mel.
16:55Yeah.
16:55Mel is having a little loyalty issue, but I'm just so grateful that she stayed long enough to lure you all in.
17:08I'm not alone.
17:09Robert.
17:16Finish the job.
17:20No.
17:22What?
17:23They're not a threat to me, so why do I need to kill them?
17:29You need to do what I say, Robert.
17:35Why?
17:37Why?
17:38We need to go somewhere to discuss this.
17:53To regroup and think, there's got to be a way to stop that guy.
17:56God, we're not regrouping.
17:57This isn't even a team.
17:58Of course we're a team.
17:59We are the Thunderbolts.
18:01I don't know what that means.
18:03It's a pee-wee soccer team thing.
18:05We need to go somewhere to discuss this.
18:07Discuss what?
18:07We are going to regroup.
18:08We are going to go back in there.
18:09We don't regroup.
18:09You guys turned my shield into a taco.
18:11Oh, my God.
18:12Stop.
18:14There is no us.
18:16There is no we.
18:18Bob changed into that thing, and there is nothing any of you can do about it.
18:22And what did you do exactly?
18:24Because I seem to remember you getting your ass beat way worse than mine.
18:27Yeah, yeah.
18:28I suck.
18:29I'm terrible.
18:30We're all terrible.
18:31Evie, you're not a hero.
18:34You're not even a good person.
18:36Bitch.
18:37See?
18:38Slow down.
18:39Alexei, I am not your amnichka.
18:41I haven't heard from you or seen you in a year.
18:44Okay, go easy on him.
18:45Oh, so you're nice now.
18:47It's my turn?
18:48No, you know you're a piece of trash walker.
18:50So does your family.
18:51Jesus.
18:53We're all losers.
18:56And we lost.
19:01And then I have these little widow bite things.
19:20I remember.
19:22And then I have this 19.
19:2545.
19:26The long barrel.
19:27Oh, wow.
19:29It's big.
19:30It's long.
19:31Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:32It's a little long.
19:35And what about your hat?
19:37The hat.
19:39The helmet?
19:40Yeah.
19:41Whatever you want to call it.
19:42It's like cool, right?
19:43You like it?
19:45Do you like the hat?
19:48Yeah, I think the hat's pretty sweet.
19:51Then cool.
19:52What kind of super serum did you get?
19:55I don't know.
19:56Regular.
19:57Hydra.
19:57Hydra?
19:58Oh, fancy.
19:59Mine was Soviet recreation, but it's still good, you know?
20:04We are the same.
20:05You and me.
20:07Well.
20:07I mean, we are different.
20:08But we are the same.
20:09You know, we could be co-leaders in this, huh?
20:11A little different.
20:12You get tired.
20:13I drive.
20:15Huh?
20:16I don't get tired.
20:17No.
20:17I don't actually want to drive.
20:20I'm not doing something.
20:21Almost.
20:22Almost.
20:24Okay.
20:26Mr. Soldier, what is secret plan?
20:29Huh?
20:30The plan.
20:32Yeah.
20:32Open up.
20:41I like this.
20:46The plan.
20:51Yeah.
20:58Tack!
21:03Yeah.
21:04Yeah.
21:05Oh.
21:06Ah.
21:07Yeah.
21:08Oh.
21:08Ah.
21:09Ah.
21:09Oh.
21:10Jesus, you guys, I literally just put that drywall in.
21:22I left the door unlocked for you. Come up.
21:40How crazy is it to think of all the monumental fights that happened exactly here where you're standing?
21:50Yeah, I don't really care. I mean, the place wasn't cheap, but it's got good optics.
21:57Well, it's over, Valentina. This ends today.
22:00Congressman Barnes, wow. You know, I never really thought you'd have a promising political career, but less than half a term. Yikes.
22:11We're taking you in, Val.
22:13I don't think so. Junior varsity, Captain America.
22:19Walker.
22:22Oh, nice to see you, Ava.
22:25Yelena, you look awful.
22:29You sure you're really ready for that public-facing role you asked me about?
22:33It's shit, Valentina. Where's Bob?
22:35Look at you. You are all so adorable.
22:39Just think. I send you down there to kill each other, and instead, you make nice, and you form a team.
22:47Who's this old Santa?
22:50I'm Lexi Shostakov.
22:53The Red Guardian.
22:54What?
22:58Where's Mel?
22:59Mel? Oh, Mel. Yeah.
23:02Mel is having a little loyalty issue, but I'm just so grateful that she stayed long enough to lure you all in.
23:10I'm not alone.
23:17Robert?
23:23Finish the job.
23:26No.
23:28What?
23:29They're not a threat to me, so why do I need to kill them?
23:35You need to do what I say, Robert.
23:41Why?
23:44Why?
23:44Okay.
23:51We need a new plan.
23:53Ah, no new plans.
23:55The thing.
23:56It's too powerful.
23:59We just need to regroup and think there's got to be a way to stop that guy.
24:03We're not regrouping.
24:04This isn't even a team.
24:05Of course we're a team.
24:06We are the Thunderbolts.
24:08I don't know what that means.
24:09It's a peewee soccer team thing.
24:11We need to go somewhere to discuss this.
24:13Discuss what?
24:14We aren't going to regroup.
24:15We're going to go back in there.
24:16You guys turned my shield into a taco.
24:18Oh, my God.
24:19Stop.
24:21There is no us.
24:23There is no we.
24:25Bob changed into that thing, and there is nothing any of you can do about it.
24:29And what did you do exactly?
24:31Because I seem to remember you getting your ass beat way worse than mine.
24:34Yeah, yeah.
24:34I suck.
24:35I'm terrible.
24:37We're all terrible.
24:39Ava, you're not a hero.
24:40You're not even a good person.
24:42Bitch.
24:43See?
24:44Slow down.
24:45Alexi, I am not your amnichka.
24:47I haven't heard from you or seen you in a year.
24:50Okay, go easy on him.
24:52Oh, so you're nice now.
24:53It's my turn?
24:54No, you know you're a piece of trash walker.
24:56So does your family.
24:57Jesus.
24:59We're all losers.
25:03And we lost.
25:04Yelena!
25:12Yelena!
25:14And then I have these little widow bite things.
25:26I remember.
25:28And then I have this 19.
25:3145.
25:33The long barrel.
25:34Oh, wow.
25:35Well, it's big.
25:36It's long.
25:38Yeah, well, it's a little long.
25:41And what about your hat?
25:44The hat.
25:45The helmet?
25:46Yeah.
25:47Whatever you want to call it.
25:48It's like, cool.
25:50You like it?
25:51Do you like the hat?
25:54Yeah, I think the hat's pretty sweet.
25:57Then cool.
25:58What kind of super serum did you get?
26:01I don't know.
26:02Regular.
26:03Hydra.
26:04Hydra?
26:04Oh, fancy.
26:06Mine was Soviet recreation, but it's still good, you know?
26:10We are the same.
26:12You and me.
26:13I mean, we are different.
26:14But we are the same.
26:16You know, we could be co-leaders in this, huh?
26:18A little different.
26:18You get tired.
26:19I drive.
26:21Huh?
26:22I don't get tired.
26:23No, I mean, that's horrible.
26:25I don't actually want to drive.
26:26I'm not doing something.
26:28Almost!
26:28Almost!
26:30Okay.
26:32Mr. Soldier, what is secret plan?
26:35Huh?
26:37The plan.
26:38Where?
26:46Open up!
26:47I like this!
26:57I like this!
27:02Jesus, you guys, I literally just put that drywall in.
27:28I left the door unlocked for you.
27:31Come up.
27:32How crazy is it to think of all the monumental fights that happened exactly here where you're
27:55standing?
27:56Yeah, I don't really care.
27:59I mean, the place wasn't cheap, but it's got good optics.
28:03Well, it's over, Valentina.
28:05This ends today.
28:06Congressman Barnes.
28:08Wow.
28:08You know, I never really thought you'd have a promising political career, but less than
28:14half a term.
28:16Yikes.
28:17We're taking you in, Val.
28:18I don't think so.
28:22Junior varsity, Captain America.
28:25Walker.
28:28How nice to see you, Ava.
28:32Yelena.
28:33You look awful.
28:35You sure you're really ready for that public-facing role you asked me about?
28:39It's shit, Valentina.
28:41Where's Bob?
28:41Look at you.
28:43You are all so adorable.
28:46Just think.
28:47I send you down there to kill each other, and instead, you make nice and you form a team.
28:53Who is this old Santa?
28:55I'm Lexi Shostakov, the Red Guardian.
29:02What?
29:04Where's Mel?
29:06Mel?
29:07Oh, Mel.
29:07Yeah.
29:08Mel is having a little loyalty issue, but I'm just so grateful that she stayed long enough
29:15to lure you all in.
29:21I'm not alone.
29:22Robert?
29:29Finish the job.
29:33No.
29:35What?
29:36They're not a threat to me, so...
29:39Why do I need to kill them?
29:42You need to do what I say, Robert.
29:48Why?
29:50Why?
29:52Okay.
29:57We need a new plan.
29:59No new plans.
30:01The thing.
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