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  • 2 days ago
Guy Introduces His GF As His Mom
Transcript
00:01Happy anniversary, love.
00:07Steve.
00:09Long time no see.
00:12Hey, buddy.
00:13Hello.
00:15Hi, I'm Paul.
00:17Steve's friend. And you're?
00:19I'm his girlfriend.
00:20Mom.
00:21This is my mom.
00:25Nice to meet you, Mrs. McQuaid.
00:30I'm celebrating my birthday here tomorrow.
00:32The whole gang is coming. You should come too.
00:34Wouldn't miss it.
00:36Good. I'll see you tomorrow then.
00:39Mrs. McQuaid.
00:46Your mom?
00:51How could you humiliate me like that?
00:53I've... panicked.
00:56So...
00:59That's why you never introduce me to any of your friends.
01:05How are we supposed to move forward?
01:08If you're so ashamed of me.
01:09Move forward?
01:10What do you mean move forward?
01:12We're just having a good time together.
01:15What?
01:16Do you think this was heading toward marriage?
01:19That is the natural progression to any of relationship, isn't it?
01:23Jen.
01:24Have you looked at yourself?
01:27If I ever get married,
01:29it'll be to a young woman.
01:32Not some...
01:33old hag.
01:36Screw you.
01:37Are you okay, Mrs. McQuaid?
01:52I am not Mrs. McQuaid.
01:54What? It just...
01:56That brat was too ashamed to admit that I'm his girlfriend.
02:03Because apparently he's too ashamed by me.
02:07What a jerk.
02:09No, that's...
02:11I was too naive to even think that somebody could genuinely love me at my age.
02:18Sorry for dumping this on you.
02:24I just gonna go.
02:25No, no, wait, wait, wait.
02:26Come to my party tomorrow.
02:28Uh, thank you, but I'm not Steve's girlfriend anymore.
02:33Then don't come as his girlfriend, come as mine.
02:38We need to teach that idiot a lesson.
02:40Hey, everyone!
02:45Meet my new girlfriend, Jennifer.
02:50I hope you don't mind.
02:51I didn't tell anyone she's her mom.
02:55Paul, you're lucky Scandler.
02:57Dude, seriously?
02:58She's old enough to be his mom.
03:01So what?
03:03Anyone can pick up a young chick.
03:05But a sophisticated woman like that was a real start.
03:09Thanks, man.
03:11Paul's only been with Jennifer for a day.
03:15I was with her for two years.
03:18And I was the one who saw her for who she really is.
03:25I'm...
03:26I'm sorry.
03:28Let's get back together.
03:32Dating?
03:35Is not enough, Aminimo.
03:39Then...
03:41Marry me!
03:42Steve!
03:45Of course!
03:50Of course not.
03:55Your words prove that you're just a little boy.
04:00Too dependent on what others think of you.
04:06Jen, you misunderstood.
04:10Did I?
04:12Let's replay it.
04:13Sure.
04:20Jen, have you looked at yourself?
04:23If I ever get married, it'll be to a young woman, not some old hag.
04:30Dude, you're such a jerk.
04:33Jennifer...
04:34Steve!
04:35Steve!
04:36You were so worried about people thinking poorly of you.
04:38And now they think even worse of you.
04:40Take your hands off my daughter!
04:41Mom!
04:42Mom, you've got the wrong idea.
04:43Honey, it's okay.
04:44What nursing home did you escape from?
04:45Ma'am, allow me to introduce myself.
04:46I'm Robert Reginald McCall.
04:47The third.
04:48I see it.
04:49It wasn't a nursing home, but a mental hospital.
04:50Mom!
04:51Mom, this is my boyfriend, okay?
04:52Your boyfriend?
04:53Your boyfriend?
04:54Honey, the boyfriend is someone under 40 or 40.
04:55And this is...
04:56He can be my father.
04:57I see it.
04:58I see it.
04:59I see it.
05:00I see it.
05:01I see it.
05:02I see it.
05:03I see it.
05:04I see it.
05:05I see it.
05:06I see it.
05:07I see it.
05:08I see it.
05:09I see it.
05:10I see it.
05:11I see it.
05:12I see it.
05:13It was a nursing home, but a mental hospital.
05:14Mom!
05:15Mom, this is my boyfriend, okay?
05:16Your boyfriend?
05:17Honey, the boyfriend is someone under 40 or 40.
05:20And this is...
05:21He can be my father.
05:23Excuse me, ma'am.
05:24I think we may have got off on the wrong foot.
05:28I hope this sets the tone for our meeting.
05:33Oh...
05:37This must be worth a fortune.
05:39For some people, yes.
05:41But for me, pocket change.
05:48So, uh...
05:49Mom?
05:50Can we...
05:51Can we go in now?
05:53Yes.
05:54Yes, of course.
05:55It's coming.
05:56I would like to get to know you better.
05:59Robert Nefert.
06:01Oh!
06:02Yes, but you only give me three dollars.
06:13Yes, that's right.
06:14All the best.
06:15How are things with you and him?
06:17Is it serious?
06:18Well, as you can see, I'm already in charge of all of his medications, so...
06:23You don't sound very happy about that.
06:25He trusts you.
06:26I know, but...
06:28He's old and he smells and he makes so many strange noises even when he just sits in a chair.
06:34I...
06:35Did you remember what I told you?
06:36Yes.
06:37He's rich and that's all that matters.
06:39That's right.
06:40Tolerate.
06:41And grow to love.
06:43The main thing is to get him to marry you and get all of his money.
06:49I know.
06:50I know.
06:51I know.
06:54Oh my God.
06:55Robert!
06:56Oh my God.
06:57Okay, I'm calling an ambulance.
06:58They're not gonna make it.
06:59Robert, Robert.
07:00Robert, wake up.
07:01Wake up, Robert.
07:02Not yet, not yet.
07:04Robert!
07:05Robert!
07:06Not now.
07:07You can't die now.
07:15The look on your faces!
07:18Wake up!
07:19Wake up!
07:20By the way, what did you mean by not yet?
07:27You are still young and I was worried about you.
07:31Oh, thank you, but don't worry about it.
07:34With modern medicine and my money, I'll live for another 20 years with your beautiful daughter.
07:43Now, please excuse me and can you point me in the right direction to your restaurant?
07:48Yeah.
07:49Yeah, over there.
07:57Does he do this a lot?
07:59You know, from time to time.
08:03So, here's to your patience.
08:11But you know what?
08:12You don't have to be worried about me because I have someone to comfort me.
08:16What do you mean?
08:17I mean, the relationship with Robert, it's more or less like a job.
08:22It's purely for the money.
08:23And in the meantime, I've been having fun with my dick.
08:27Don't even start about your dick.
08:32But this loser actor is just dragging you down.
08:36Why can I keep him as my lover?
08:38Huh?
08:39Don't risk it with him.
08:41You found a gold mine.
08:42Do the right thing now and be a good girl for Robert DeVert.
08:51Or Robert DeVert.
08:52You would really trade love for money.
08:54Of course.
08:55Robert can buy you anything in the world.
08:59And with Jack, you will live in a shack.
09:02And you will always regret that you chose some phantom love over money.
09:07You should leave him now.
09:09What?
09:10No.
09:11No, I'm not.
09:12Listen to your mother.
09:13You know I want what's the best for you.
09:15What's all the yelling about, girls?
09:18Oh, we were just arguing about whether we should eat here or in the yard outside.
09:25We'll eat outside.
09:27It helps my digestion.
09:29Oh.
09:30Yeah.
09:31Yeah.
09:32Yeah.
09:33Yeah.
09:34I had to pay a lot of money to get my name off the Forbes list.
09:38Money loves silence.
09:39You know?
09:40Oh, you have so many interesting stars, Robert.
09:45Honey, why don't you join us the conversation?
09:52Or you're more interested in your phone.
09:55You know what?
09:58Excuse me for a moment.
09:59Hey.
10:00Okay, Robert, tell me another story.
10:04You are very good at it.
10:05Actually, I'd like to ask you a question.
10:08Oh.
10:09I'm all ears.
10:12Do you think I can make your daughter happy?
10:16Oh, Robert, what a question.
10:20You can buy her anything.
10:23A house, a car, jewelry.
10:26Jewelry.
10:27You can buy anything she wants.
10:29Yes, I can give her anything.
10:32But I can't give her romance or passion.
10:36And more importantly, I can't give her children.
10:41Unfortunately, money can't buy everything.
10:45So, do you think Mary can be happy with me?
10:50Um, I think so.
10:55Alrighty.
10:56Do I have your blessing?
10:58Yes, yes.
10:59I need to check out the pie in the oven.
11:04Sorry.
11:05Mary, are you okay?
11:13Yes.
11:14Yes.
11:15Yes.
11:16Yes.
11:17Yes.
11:18Please.
11:48Girls!
11:53I hope you have some energy for one more surprise.
11:57This time without passing out.
12:00I promise.
12:02Mary, please.
12:09You know how much you mean to me.
12:12So I have one important question to ask you.
12:18And I realize I lack energy and youthfulness.
12:25But for everything else, I have my bank card.
12:37Will you marry me?
12:40Well...
12:42Yes. Yes, of course.
12:59My name.
13:00Yes.
13:04Ma'am, aren't you going to congratulate the newly engaged couple?
13:11No, I won't.
13:13What?
13:14There's no going to be any wedding.
13:17I'm not giving you my blessing.
13:20But...
13:21Mom.
13:22Are you...
13:23Are you serious?
13:24Yes.
13:25Yes, honey.
13:26I shouldn't have made you to leave Jack.
13:29He can give you the most important thing, love.
13:32And it doesn't matter how much money he has.
13:36The main thing is that he makes you happy.
13:39You're happy.
13:42And you don't have to spend the best years of your life with old, smelly, whizzing money bank.
13:51No offense, Robert III.
13:52You're the first.
13:55Finally.
13:58What?
13:59Finally.
14:00You've admitted it.
14:03What's going on?
14:06Mom, actually...
14:08I'm sorry, but we put on a little show for you.
14:12Just because we wanted to prove it to you that money is not the most important thing in the relationship.
14:17And I'm so happy that he finally realized that.
14:25Time for my last trick.
14:33Oh, my God.
14:37So, this is all just a joke?
14:42Well, not really.
14:43And first of all, I'm not a failed actor anymore.
14:45Yeah, that's true. Jack has been in contract with an agency now.
14:50And actually, we're quite rich now.
14:54And secondly,
14:57I really want to marry a daughter.
14:59Oh.
15:00Oh.
15:12Oh.
15:14Oh.

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