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BLIND parents Hareem and Jonesti have both had to overcome life-changing adversity on their journeys to parenthood. Both were victims of separate attacks before meeting each other - and both attacks left them completely blind. The couple told Truly: "We see complete darkness at all times - no shadows, no shapes, no blurs. The colour is black." When they met at a training centre for people with disabilities, it wasn't long before Hareem and Jonesti fell in love and "built a life together." Hareem already had his daughter, A'lonni, from a previous relationship - but when Jonesti fell pregnant last year, the couple were due to have their first baby together. Jonesti remembers the fear that came with finding out they were expecting: "[Hareem] didn't have any concerns about being a blind parent but I definitely did: 'What if we fail them as parents because we do have a disability?'" And the couple's friends and family had similar "concerns and doubts", with many of them asking Hareem and Jonesti: "How are you going to take care of this baby?" When baby Anthony was born, Jonesti admits that she found tasks like changing his diaper difficult, but the parents quickly adapted their own ways of doing things and now care for Anthony completely independently. As Hareem said: "It is different being blind, I can say that - but you just find a different way to do things." Still, the couple have faced backlash after posting online to show people how they care for their family as blind parents - Jonesti said: "We've had people ask us questions like, 'Are you sure you should be raising kids?' and, 'How do you know if the baby is safe?' We've also had people say that we're pretending [to be blind]." The parents are defiant in the face of the negativity, shrugging it off and instead choosing to focus on building a future for their family: "I'm not going to be comfortable with being blind until we can live how we want to live and be the parents that we want to be. So far it's turning out pretty good!"
Transcript
00:00We are not selfish for having a baby as a blind parent.
00:04We were both victims of attacks that left us completely blind.
00:08We cannot see anything.
00:11When we fell pregnant, people doubted that we would be able to look after our baby.
00:15Friends and family expressed concerns and doubts.
00:19We've had questions like, are you sure you should be raising kids?
00:23How do you know if the baby is safe?
00:24He didn't have any doubts or concerns about being a blind parent, but I definitely did.
00:30What if we're not good enough for them?
00:32What if we fail them as parents because we do have a disability?
00:35When you found out honestly was pregnant, did you have any concerns about how she and Irene would be able to care for a baby?
00:42So we're just going to grab this one and we're going to do this one.
00:46I don't know if it's Mickey Mouse or Simba, but we're going to go with it.
00:49We don't know what matches with what, so we put the socks, a bib, and then the outfit on the safety pin.
00:56That way, you can keep up with it.
00:58Me and my husband are both completely blind.
01:01We see complete darkness at all times.
01:05No shadows, no shapes, no blurs.
01:09The color is black.
01:11We both lost our sight in young adulthood.
01:14Two days before my 19th birthday, I was attacked.
01:19Instead of my life, he took my sight.
01:22I became blind six weeks before my 21st birthday.
01:26I was physically assaulted and it resulted in total blindness.
01:30When I met him, I hadn't even been blind a year.
01:33We met each other at the place where individuals with disabilities go to get training.
01:39And he was just showing me how to deal with that and how to process it.
01:44And I think that's kind of what made me fall in love with him.
01:47We just built our life together.
01:49This is our son, Anthony.
01:51He's four months old.
01:53Say hi.
01:54Say hello.
01:55He's laughing.
01:56I'm a big boy.
01:58When you were you a pregnant, what were your emotions?
02:01Oh, I was terrified.
02:03A fear of the unknown.
02:04It was like, what did I do?
02:07You ready, buddy?
02:08You ready to get a drink?
02:11He didn't have any doubts or concerns about being a blonde parent, but I definitely did.
02:15What if we're not good enough for them?
02:17What if we fail them as parents because we do have a disability?
02:22Hold on, hold on.
02:24Feel the diaper.
02:25See how low that is on that booty?
02:27That ain't that low for real.
02:29In the back?
02:29But it is a low, but it ain't that low.
02:32When Anthony was born, I think I found the most difficulty with the diapers.
02:38We never truly know if he's clean.
02:41So I'm just going to wipe until I can't wipe anymore.
02:43And that's how we do it.
02:45It is different being blind.
02:46I can say that.
02:48But you just find a different way to do things.
02:52Good.
02:52Okay, there we go.
02:54Photo just came in.
02:56Okay.
02:56So this one is a, it says ultra thin oven roasted turkey breast, but that it's also honey ham.
03:05So it'll be two individually wrapped pouches.
03:07So we both have that app.
03:08They do like the descriptions of foods.
03:12They can let us know if something is cooking, if it's done or not.
03:16But they can even like describe the room for us.
03:19There's a lot they can do.
03:20But we use that pretty often.
03:22This is pretty girl, Alani, my oldest.
03:27We are currently in here making her some sandwiches.
03:31Alani is my firstborn.
03:33And she's my daughter.
03:36Is your dad a good cook?
03:37And what's your favorite thing that he makes?
03:39Yes, he is a great cook.
03:41And my favorite thing that he makes is his famous hamburgers.
03:47Is there anything you like to help your dad in honesty because he can't see?
03:50When my stepmom needs help with picking my baby brother's clothes out, I always help her.
03:58With my dad, I help him when he's cooking.
04:01Yesterday when we cooked breakfast, we needed help with the eggs to make sure no shells were in there.
04:09When Anthony was born, did friends or family express any concerns or doubts?
04:13Friends and family express concerns and doubts.
04:17How are you going to raise a baby?
04:18How are you going to take care of this baby?
04:20And I'm like, the same way that anybody else does it, you know?
04:25I'm just like, I didn't know how to even respond to the question.
04:29Hey, sugar mama.
04:30Hey, mommy.
04:31How are you doing?
04:34Good.
04:35That's been a challenge for me.
04:36It's like doing what's best for me and Harim and the baby.
04:41And then trying to take into consideration the opinions of, you know, family members.
04:48What's up, son?
04:50How you doing?
04:51I'm good.
04:52Where that big old boy?
04:53Look at him.
04:54Hey, big boy.
04:59Yeah, he getting huge.
05:00When you found out that Honesty was pregnant, did you have any concerns about how she and
05:04Harim would be able to care for her baby?
05:05The biggest concern was how can they take care of him if they can't lose?
05:11I remember I was like around the corner every five seconds I would hear the baby.
05:16Now, it's like I hear her, Honesty got it.
05:19I speak like a baby.
05:21Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she got it.
05:23Those people that I know, that I'm close to, that have doubted, I put her in front of them
05:30and just, and they're in awe.
05:32Once they see her change the diaper, nursing the baby, and their worries are put to rest,
05:37so they're not worried anymore.
05:41What are some challenges you've experienced being blind parents?
05:44People judging our parenting skills.
05:47A lot of crazy comments, like some stuff you would never think you would hear people say.
05:52We've had questions like, are you sure you should be raising kids?
05:56And how do you know if the baby is safe?
05:58We also had people say that we were pretending.
06:01I was like, I wish I was making this up.
06:03I think a lot of people are like in awe, like shocked to see that we are doing it.
06:10Don't be too quick to judge a book by the cover and you never read a page of it.
06:15How does it make you feel when people judge for even honesty?
06:18In the beginning, I think it was probably a little frustration.
06:24Them not knowing them.
06:26Get to know what they can do and, you know, how they do it.
06:30Because there's a method to the madness.
06:32They have a system in place and they do it very well.
06:34I got tired of people saying that we can't do this, we can't do this, or just people thinking
06:41that we're lying.
06:43I just decided to just bring people into our life, show them how we're living, and really
06:48show people that we're really limitless, like nothing can stop us.
06:52Welcome back.
06:54I was talking with my older sister and her boyfriend, and they were like, yeah, we think
07:02that would be good for you guys to just do more videos, because people have to see it
07:06to believe this sometimes.
07:06Anybody that's, you know, trying to do better, that may think they can't do something, we're
07:13here to tell y'all that you can.
07:15And we've been through some of the worst, but we continue to hold our head high, and we're
07:21doing whatever we got to do to take care of our family.
07:24They inspire me a whole lot, because when I look at what they're doing, and all the accomplishments
07:31that they done made, I ain't like, I don't make no excuses, because I say if they can do
07:36it, I know I can do it.
07:41Um, Goldfish.
07:42What do you hope the future holds for your family?
07:45We hope that the future holds, um, just more blisses.
07:49You took the words right out of my mouth.
07:53I pray that we continue to take care of our family, the best way we know how.
07:58One more shape, you still do it!
08:00I would love to have more kids.
08:02Before I went blind, I used to want like a starting five, or like a baseball team.
08:07But now, I think we'll settle for maybe, what, one or two more women.
08:12I can't speak for everyone, but I know my kids inspire me to want something out of life.
08:19I'm not going to be comfortable with being blind until we can live how we want to live,
08:25and be the parents that we want to be.
08:26So far, it's turning out pretty good.

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