- 6 days ago
Also known as Ternet Ninja
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Yamao no Tazaiki
00:00:05Yamao no Tazaiki
00:00:08Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai
00:00:13Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai Dai
00:00:43Oh, my God.
00:01:13Oh, my God.
00:01:43Welcome.
00:01:48He says, welcome, sir. It's so good to see you again.
00:01:51Thank you. Thanks.
00:01:53Are we on track to meet the deadline?
00:01:54Yes, Mr. Eppermint. I can assure you.
00:02:01Whoa, hang on.
00:02:02He said children.
00:02:03Yes, and you're an interpreter, right?
00:02:05Yeah, but you can't do this.
00:02:07Listen, it's quite normal for children to work in Thailand.
00:02:11Yeah, but can't you see?
00:02:12This is not okay.
00:02:13Well, if I don't do it, somebody else will.
00:02:15And if you don't interpret for me now, somebody else will just get paid instead.
00:02:19How do you stand this heat?
00:02:21Is there nothing to drink around here?
00:02:23Oh, good, good.
00:02:24Well, as you can see, everything's under control, Mr. Eppermint.
00:02:48Oh, shit.
00:02:50What?
00:02:52What?
00:02:54My, my, my scar.
00:02:56Huh?
00:02:56Mr. Chan, stop it.
00:03:14Sorry.
00:03:15I want no part in this.
00:03:42Do you hear me?
00:03:44I'm done with it.
00:03:44I expect to see you next month, then.
00:03:47Huh.
00:03:48Thanks.
00:03:49Okay, then.
00:03:50Good boy.
00:03:51To the airport, please.
00:03:52Yes, sir.
00:03:57Wait, see what?
00:03:58That's not what?
00:04:01Oh.
00:04:01What?
00:04:15What?
00:04:17Oh!
00:04:27Oh!
00:04:28Not down!
00:04:29Leave up!
00:04:31Why?
00:04:32Not down!
00:04:47You can see there!
00:04:49I really didn't know how to know!
00:04:50I really liked my life!
00:05:00Still here?
00:05:01Fine!
00:05:06Fine!
00:05:40Thank you, Ralph. Do we have any real beer left? These Asian beers taste like bear piss, and I know that taste from my days as a forest ranger. Ralph?
00:05:58Well, hello there. Who have we got here? A stowaway. Huh?
00:06:12I know someone who's gonna love you.
00:06:20Good morning, everybody. A big welcome back, all of you, to my channel. Many of you have been asking, Alex, could you please show us how you brush your teeth?
00:06:30So, of course, I'm gonna show you. I've got this toothbrush, I add some free sponsored toothpaste, and then I brush. And I always start way at the back and get into all the nooks and crannies.
00:06:43Hey, let's, uh...
00:06:44Get out of here, Sean.
00:06:46Sorry. It's moving.
00:06:49Sean, can't you wait?
00:06:51So, your birthday's on Saturday, right? But I have an early gift for you.
00:06:54In ten, nine, eight, seven...
00:06:58What? Seriously?
00:07:00Six.
00:07:02Hello.
00:07:03Morning, Mom.
00:07:06Oh, good morning.
00:07:09Some breakfast, honey?
00:07:10Yes, please.
00:07:13Do we have any?
00:07:14That's enough, you.
00:07:16Oh, there you are.
00:07:18Morning, dear.
00:07:19Morning.
00:07:20Morning, Alex.
00:07:22Good morning, John.
00:07:24Serena, I used your credit card. I couldn't find my wallet.
00:07:27But, John, I thought we agreed on porridge on weekdays.
00:07:30Oh, it's hard on Sean, you know?
00:07:33Yay, Frankie.
00:07:33Getting used to a new home and a new family.
00:07:36Good morning, Sean.
00:07:37New eating habits.
00:07:41Hmm.
00:07:42All right, then. You can have one, too, Alex.
00:07:44Oh, yes.
00:07:45Well, I only bought four, but by all means have one.
00:07:52You did wash your hands, right?
00:07:54Nah.
00:07:55There's no soap.
00:07:56Yes, there is. It's in the starfish bowl.
00:07:58Oh, the slimy gray blob.
00:08:00Is that soap?
00:08:02Yes, it's free of parabens and animal fat.
00:08:04Don't you wash your hands, either, John?
00:08:19Well, I found a piece of iron fly pole was dumped in handy.
00:08:22One, two, three, four.
00:08:25Hey.
00:08:36Hey.
00:08:38Hey, Jessica.
00:08:39Hi, Tina.
00:08:39Hey, Jessica.
00:08:40No, I'm Tina.
00:08:41I'm Gina.
00:08:42OMG, that's funny.
00:08:43Super cute.
00:08:44Super cute.
00:08:44You think?
00:08:45Yeah?
00:08:45Alex, my man.
00:08:47Hi, this is...
00:08:48High five.
00:08:49Dab.
00:08:51Are you tired?
00:08:52So tired.
00:08:54I can't sleep.
00:08:56Sean snores like crazy.
00:08:58Oh, beat it.
00:08:59Okay.
00:08:59Hey, you got something on your glasses?
00:09:01Yeah, loser.
00:09:04Psych man.
00:09:05Now there's gum on his glasses.
00:09:06Glenn, that dumbass.
00:09:08Come on.
00:09:11Thailand is a holiday paradise where one can relax.
00:09:16Right holiday paradise.
00:09:19The Thais are child-friendly and jolly.
00:09:22Right child-friendly.
00:09:24Prices are reasonable, which makes for a great job.
00:09:30I wish I was your sweater, sat on your body so warm, wrap myself around you from the
00:09:48break of dawn, feel by you and joy when you took me off again.
00:09:54The fragrance of you, it would still remain.
00:10:00You are a princess.
00:10:03I'm an imbecile.
00:10:05You're the very precious thing that I don't have but steal.
00:10:10The number one thing in my life are things that life could bring.
00:10:16Ooh, Jessica.
00:10:19You captivating thing.
00:10:22Right concentration.
00:10:27The Thais are good with their hands and produce well-made products.
00:10:31Will you be going to the Children's Climate Congress on Saturday?
00:10:39No, Perry.
00:10:40Will you be coming to my place to drink gasoline on Saturday?
00:10:43I'm having my birthday party on Saturday.
00:10:45Without us?
00:10:46Well, it's just for the family.
00:10:48You wouldn't want to be there.
00:10:49My mom's baking.
00:10:51Yikes.
00:10:51I'd rather drink gasoline.
00:10:53My Uncle Stuart will be there.
00:10:54He's on Shoreleaves.
00:10:55Stuart, is he that old drunk?
00:10:57Yes, sirs.
00:10:59It's Shoreleave time.
00:11:02Alexius.
00:11:03Welcome home, Uncle.
00:11:04Thanks.
00:11:05Ah, my lovely.
00:11:07So, where's the douchebag?
00:11:09You behave now, okay?
00:11:12Can you hold baby Dara's turn?
00:11:14I got her.
00:11:15Mommy needs a smoke.
00:11:16Hey, Turkle.
00:11:17Long time no see.
00:11:18Hi, Uncle Stuart.
00:11:19Beatrice.
00:11:20Good job.
00:11:21Shookalicious.
00:11:21I've been in the vacuum.
00:11:23Ah, hashtag me too.
00:11:24Hello, Leon.
00:11:25Hi.
00:11:25Dad, why can't I play my iPad?
00:11:27Hello, George.
00:11:28It's John.
00:11:28And you're still growing.
00:11:29Hey, Shane.
00:11:30Take a look at this, Grandma.
00:11:31I'll see if you can chew it.
00:11:32Hi, Grandma.
00:11:33What have you got there?
00:11:35She's having some toast.
00:11:36Excellent.
00:11:37Phew.
00:11:37It sure is hot today.
00:11:38I'm as dry as a desert.
00:11:40Well, I've got organic iced tea with rose hips and seabook thorns.
00:11:43Let's consider that matter closed, then.
00:11:45Well, I actually have a little gift for, uh, thank you.
00:11:49And I've got one for you, too, Sean.
00:11:51I think it's important to treat them both the same.
00:11:54Yes.
00:11:55They're not the same, though.
00:11:56Just look at them.
00:11:58Size-wise, I mean.
00:11:59A rockin' flower.
00:12:00Yes.
00:12:01Do you remember those?
00:12:02No.
00:12:04One more.
00:12:05Mr. Besser.
00:12:06Samba.
00:12:08Yes.
00:12:08Not bad, huh?
00:12:10Whoa.
00:12:12Super Dario 3.
00:12:13Yeah.
00:12:13Thanks, Dad.
00:12:14You're welcome.
00:12:15Hey, buddy.
00:12:15Can I go play now?
00:12:16No.
00:12:17Stick to your iPad for now.
00:12:19A rockin' flower.
00:12:21I bought a gift, too, for Alex, since it's his birthday today.
00:12:26Thanks.
00:12:27Happy birthday, kiddo.
00:12:28Wow.
00:12:40What is it?
00:12:41Well, it's, uh...
00:12:43Is it a ninja?
00:12:44Exactly.
00:12:45Ninjas unusually checkered.
00:12:48No.
00:12:48And boys your age don't normally weigh 200 pounds.
00:12:52But seeing is believing.
00:12:54Mom, look.
00:12:55Oh, very nice.
00:12:57Here, let me take baby dolls.
00:12:58Here you go.
00:12:59So, who's this little guy?
00:13:01Is it a harlequin?
00:13:01Ha!
00:13:02Good one, Turkle.
00:13:03Harlequins are jokers.
00:13:05This is a checkered ninja, obviously.
00:13:08I've never heard of a checkered ninja.
00:13:10Exactly.
00:13:11That's what makes it so rare and pricey.
00:13:13It costs a fortune.
00:13:15Even just getting it out of Thailand was sheer hell because of the sword, you know?
00:13:19Who knows what they might have done.
00:13:20Darling, my eldest, once spent five years in a Thai prison because of one ounce of cocaine.
00:13:26An ounce?
00:13:27Yeah, and it was just for personal use.
00:13:29Make a note of this for future reference, Alex.
00:13:32A stint in a prison in Thailand makes a man wish for his own death.
00:13:36Uh, okay.
00:13:37Speaking of death, what's in these things?
00:13:40It's my own recipe.
00:13:41Wheat free.
00:13:42You could have warned me.
00:13:44Yuck.
00:13:45So, Jeff, how's business for you?
00:13:47Wasn't it something about nuts?
00:13:49Chestnutfactory.com.
00:13:51But we don't talk about that.
00:13:53Chestnutfactory.com.
00:13:55Yes, but it didn't work out.
00:13:56Oh, you don't say.
00:13:58Oh, holy cow.
00:13:59I'm off to dump a few chestnuts myself, Jim.
00:14:02It's John.
00:14:02Come on, Stuart.
00:14:04I think it's great that John has some initiative and doesn't just slouch around all day.
00:14:07Right, right.
00:14:08And as long as you're happy paying for all his fruit stewing schemes.
00:14:11Stuart!
00:14:17It's okay.
00:14:17Right, well, I was leaving anyway.
00:14:19Alex, my boy.
00:14:21Drop by the lake one of these days.
00:14:23Happy birthday again.
00:14:25Thanks.
00:14:26And as we always used to say in Thailand,
00:14:28Faubanga, thai la la.
00:14:31That's Thai for Super Dario 3 is for sissies.
00:14:34You got it?
00:14:34See you later.
00:14:35A checkered ninja?
00:14:40Yeah.
00:14:41It's very rare.
00:14:42It's from Thailand.
00:14:43But ninjas are black.
00:14:44Actually, they wore indigo blue.
00:14:46But only when they went out to missions.
00:14:48The ninjas were in fact...
00:14:49Oh, man.
00:14:50Are you coming to my party?
00:14:51Here you go.
00:14:52He didn't get one either.
00:14:53Here's one for you, Benny.
00:14:54It's this Saturday.
00:14:55You're welcome to bring a friend.
00:14:56One friend each?
00:14:58No, one between you, okay?
00:14:59Yeah.
00:15:00What did you think?
00:15:00What did you think?
00:15:01OMG, are you like a total moron or something?
00:15:05Hey, wait.
00:15:06Can I take a look?
00:15:07Yeah, but...
00:15:08But I...
00:15:09Eww.
00:15:10Oh, it's Jessica.
00:15:12Why don't you go talk to her?
00:15:13What?
00:15:14Yeah, right.
00:15:14Should I get her to come over?
00:15:16Jessica!
00:15:16Did you...
00:15:17Let's not stop it.
00:15:17Jessica, come over here.
00:15:18Alex wants to ask you something.
00:15:20What?
00:15:21Alex just wanted to ask you about something.
00:15:23No.
00:15:23Huh?
00:15:24What?
00:15:25Uh, um, uh...
00:15:27Uh...
00:15:28Uh...
00:15:29Uh...
00:15:30Hi there, mole-faced.
00:15:34See that?
00:15:35The kid's got no eyes.
00:15:36Weird.
00:15:37That's funny.
00:15:37Idiot.
00:15:38What did you see?
00:15:39What?
00:15:40Uh, I said...
00:15:41Give me those.
00:15:42No!
00:15:43Give them back, Glenn.
00:15:44Come on, please.
00:15:45Come on, little mole.
00:15:47I want to see a mole jump.
00:15:49Stop it, you fat idiot.
00:15:51Or I'll crush you.
00:15:54I'm not sure I heard what you just said.
00:16:00What seems to be the problem.
00:16:06He's just being, uh...
00:16:08Uh, there's no problem.
00:16:10Then piss off.
00:16:11You two, move.
00:16:12Chill out.
00:16:13Stupid brettes.
00:16:14Thanks, Alex.
00:16:20Huh?
00:16:20I didn't say anything.
00:16:22Or I'll crush you.
00:16:23That was badass.
00:16:25But...
00:16:26But I didn't...
00:16:27Way to go, Alex.
00:16:30Uh...
00:16:30Right.
00:16:32I mean...
00:16:33Nobody messes with my friends.
00:16:35Not on my watch.
00:16:36See ya, Alex.
00:16:43Yeah.
00:16:44See ya.
00:16:50Hello?
00:16:52Say something.
00:16:54Say something.
00:16:55What do you want me to say?
00:16:57Hi.
00:16:58Glenn.
00:16:59So you're gonna crush me?
00:17:01No.
00:17:01And I'm a fat idiot?
00:17:03Yes.
00:17:04I mean, no.
00:17:05I mean, it wasn't me that said it.
00:17:06Never say anything about me again.
00:17:08And I'll break your jaw.
00:17:09No.
00:17:09I mean, yes.
00:17:10I'm sorry.
00:17:11Got it?
00:17:13100%.
00:17:13Let's piss.
00:17:15Chicken shit, loser.
00:17:23Piss off, or I'll smash your shitty mug.
00:17:26You son of a butt, ugly, oxygen thief.
00:17:29What?
00:17:32I think you better be off now.
00:17:36He's like, right behind you.
00:17:42I'd step on him.
00:17:43You're not supposed to be able to talk.
00:17:44I'll decide that for myself, chicken shit loser.
00:17:46Come on, pizza face.
00:17:48Faster!
00:17:49No, stop it.
00:17:51I'm sorry.
00:17:52You're dead.
00:17:52And you're ugly.
00:17:53No, you're not.
00:17:55And again.
00:17:55Sure he is.
00:17:56What the hell's going on?
00:17:59What's going on is you're going to be killed in a second.
00:18:03If you can't go any faster.
00:18:05Unless you and I help each other out.
00:18:07What?
00:18:07I help you.
00:18:08And you help me.
00:18:09You're not even alive.
00:18:11Gotcha now.
00:18:12Okay, so you don't want my help or what?
00:18:19Yes.
00:18:19Yes, I do.
00:18:20Help me.
00:18:21You have to help me in return.
00:18:22Okay.
00:18:23Say you'll help me.
00:18:25Yes.
00:18:25Yes, I'll help you.
00:18:26All right then.
00:18:27What are you doing?
00:18:28Just keep going.
00:18:29That'll teach you, dumbass.
00:18:42You're dead.
00:18:44Dead meat.
00:18:59You've got food down here.
00:19:05You want some?
00:19:06What?
00:19:07What the hell are you?
00:19:08Come on, not all that again.
00:19:10If you call me Harlequin, I'll stab you.
00:19:14Hi, Alexis.
00:19:16John, I'm busy right now.
00:19:18Why is your teddy bear holding an egg sandwich?
00:19:22Uh, he was hungry.
00:19:24I know the feeling.
00:19:26Oh, can you guess what I'm doing on Saturday?
00:19:29Uh, no.
00:19:31I'm going to a party at Jessica's.
00:19:34Oh.
00:19:35That's the same Jessica that you got the hots for.
00:19:39What a dumb thing to say.
00:19:41Oh, is this a poem?
00:19:42You are a princess.
00:19:44Oh, Sean.
00:19:44How cute.
00:19:45Give me that.
00:19:46But of course, Alex.
00:19:47As soon as I get my book report.
00:19:49What are you talking about?
00:19:50It's due tomorrow.
00:19:51Lord of the Rings.
00:19:52Books one to three.
00:19:53You can handle that, right, Alex?
00:19:55What?
00:19:56Oh, and Alex, make it a good one.
00:19:58Otherwise, this goes viral.
00:20:01Thank you, brother.
00:20:03Oh.
00:20:04I just wish you were dead.
00:20:06Whoa.
00:20:06Those are brave words.
00:20:08You're such a coward.
00:20:10And yes, you're just a kid.
00:20:13But so is Sean and Pizza Face.
00:20:14Glenn, shit.
00:20:16Do you realize what you've done?
00:20:17Yes, I stopped him.
00:20:19You're welcome.
00:20:20But he's going to kill me.
00:20:22Oh, stop your whining.
00:20:23As if you had any real problems.
00:20:25You don't think I have problems?
00:20:27I'm talking to my stuffed animal.
00:20:29Hey, I'm not a stuffed animal, dumbass.
00:20:31I'm a warrior.
00:20:32You got it?
00:20:33And I'm having a hard time taking your drama shit seriously.
00:20:35Drama shit?
00:20:36Yes.
00:20:37You can keep running away from your problems, or you could start fighting back.
00:20:40I can't fight.
00:20:41How do you know you can't until you've tried?
00:20:44I'll help you.
00:20:45But why are you...
00:20:46Who are you even?
00:20:48I'm your new best friend.
00:20:51I've promised to help you, and you've promised to help me.
00:20:54How can I possibly help you?
00:20:56You can read, can't you?
00:20:58Yeah.
00:20:59What?
00:20:59Can't you?
00:21:01I'm good at other things, all right?
00:21:04Yes, of course.
00:21:06What does this say?
00:21:09It's a credit card.
00:21:10It belongs to Philip Eppermint.
00:21:12So he's the man I'm looking for.
00:21:16Eppermint.
00:21:17Just like Jessica.
00:21:18What do you mean?
00:21:19Well, Jessica Eppermint.
00:21:21That's her name.
00:21:21That skirt you're crazy about?
00:21:23She's not a skirt.
00:21:24Eh, that's not for you to decide.
00:21:25What's your dad's first name?
00:21:26I don't know.
00:21:27Oh, well, who does then?
00:21:31Hi, love.
00:21:33Mom?
00:21:34Hi, love bug.
00:21:35Mom, do you...
00:21:36I have my group meeting tonight, so John will be at home with you.
00:21:39Mom, but do you...
00:21:39So no sneaking out, okay?
00:21:40No, of course not, but...
00:21:42I got you a smoothie.
00:21:43Awesome.
00:21:44But, Mom, you know that Sean's going to that party on Saturday.
00:21:47Hmm, at Jessica's house?
00:21:48Yeah.
00:21:49Uh, do you know if her parents are going to be home?
00:21:51Hmm?
00:21:52Uh, yes, they will be.
00:21:54I met Linda and...
00:21:55Hi, hon.
00:22:00How'd it go?
00:22:00They weren't interested.
00:22:03Aww.
00:22:03They couldn't see the difference between an ordinary lunchbox and the cracker box system.
00:22:09Oh?
00:22:10Oh.
00:22:10But just you wait.
00:22:11They'll be back.
00:22:13So, you met Linda and...
00:22:16Mm-hmm.
00:22:16And who?
00:22:17Mm-hmm.
00:22:18And...
00:22:19And Jessica's dad will be there, too.
00:22:23Ugh.
00:22:23All right, Jessica's dad?
00:22:25Phillip?
00:22:26That jerk?
00:22:28He thinks he's an expert on toys.
00:22:30He spoiled my plans for the Nixie Dixie dolls.
00:22:33Jessica's dad.
00:22:35Our father-in-law, right, Alex?
00:22:36Get lost.
00:22:37He's crazy about Jessica.
00:22:39Ooh-hoo-hoo.
00:22:41Good luck with that, Alex.
00:22:43What the hell?
00:22:45Move your crap, Alex.
00:22:48Now, Sean, clean speech makes for a clean heart.
00:22:51Right.
00:22:52I think Jessica is a sweet girl, Alex.
00:22:55Yes, but Alex is just so Alex-y, you know?
00:22:58Jessica's such a cute little snacky pack, huh?
00:23:05Right.
00:23:07Snacky pack.
00:23:08Hmm, not bad at all.
00:23:12Wait.
00:23:13Jeez, move your ass.
00:23:14Let's go.
00:23:15John doesn't want me to go out at night when my mom isn't home.
00:23:17Aw, I kind of feel bad for John now.
00:23:19He's gonna freak out.
00:23:20Do you understand?
00:23:21Yes, duly noted in my book of things I don't give a crap about.
00:23:24It's a fairly big volume.
00:23:27You need to help me get close to Jessica's dad.
00:23:29Let's just give her the credit card when we see her at school.
00:23:31No, no.
00:23:32I have to give it to him personally.
00:23:34It's a matter of honor.
00:23:37Is this it?
00:23:38Yep, this is the playground.
00:23:40Odysseus and I built that.
00:23:41You're a boring architect, then.
00:23:48Look at that.
00:23:49Yuck.
00:23:50Give it to me.
00:23:51We can use that.
00:23:53Use it?
00:23:53How?
00:23:54A ninja takes advantage of every opportunity that comes his way.
00:23:58Always ready to improvise.
00:23:59So we don't have a plan?
00:24:01Of course we do.
00:24:02We're going to Jessica's party.
00:24:04But she only invites the cool kids.
00:24:06And Sean.
00:24:07And Sean.
00:24:08But he's an eighth grader.
00:24:09That counts as cool.
00:24:10And what about Glenn?
00:24:11Oh, he's gonna kill me.
00:24:13Yeah.
00:24:13We'll need to put him in his place once and for all.
00:24:16Then Jessica will say...
00:24:18Alex, you're so cool.
00:24:20I really wish you'd stop doing that.
00:24:22It's totally creepy.
00:24:23Yeah, but also kind of cool, right?
00:24:25Okay, let's say I'm Glenn.
00:24:27You don't actually expect me to fight him, do you?
00:24:29So what's the problem?
00:24:30Because I can't.
00:24:31Do you know why you can't?
00:24:33Because you think you can't.
00:24:35Uh, yeah.
00:24:36And he's also much bigger than me.
00:24:37You're also much bigger than me.
00:24:39Right now.
00:24:40But not now.
00:24:42Come on.
00:24:42It's not fair to hit people in the balls.
00:24:44That was the groin.
00:24:45Come on, your turn.
00:24:46But it's below the belt.
00:24:48That's cowardly.
00:24:49You're already a coward.
00:24:50May as well use it.
00:24:52Come on, kick me.
00:24:53What?
00:24:53As hard as you can.
00:24:54Come on, you chicken shit loser.
00:24:56Ah, that's not fair.
00:25:02You say that a lot.
00:25:03Because it hurts like hell.
00:25:05Okay, but does the whole world need to hear about it?
00:25:07Suck it up.
00:25:08Let's go again.
00:25:09Up.
00:25:13Up.
00:25:23See?
00:25:24You're learning.
00:25:24Okay, where are the tools?
00:25:30They locked that stuff away at night.
00:25:32Well, we'll need to get some tools tomorrow then.
00:25:34But what are we going to build?
00:25:35One thing at a time.
00:25:36Let's go home.
00:25:38You've got homework to do.
00:25:39Homework?
00:25:40I don't have any homework.
00:25:41Oh, yes.
00:25:42A book report for tomorrow.
00:25:43Did you forget about that?
00:25:44The Lord of the Rings is Tolkien's famous trilogy about good versus evil.
00:25:52Well done, Alex.
00:25:53So there's just a matter of my notebook.
00:25:55You mean this one?
00:25:57Alex, you went out last night after all, didn't you?
00:26:03Uh, yeah, well...
00:26:04You need to obey me.
00:26:06John.
00:26:06Huh?
00:26:07John, what in the world is this?
00:26:08It was on your bedside table.
00:26:10Grandma's juicy jugs?
00:26:17Hey.
00:26:18All right, I'll get the tools while you distract the teacher.
00:26:33What?
00:26:34How?
00:26:35What should I do?
00:26:36Just ask him to help you with something.
00:26:38Something tricky.
00:26:38Couldn't you make a sheet for my sword?
00:26:40We'll kill two birds with one stone.
00:26:42I shouldn't be waving this thing around.
00:26:43What should the sheet look like?
00:26:44It just needs to fit the length of the sword.
00:26:46And it should have strings to tie it onto my back.
00:26:48And it should have holes on both ends so I can use it as a snorkel if I find myself underwater.
00:26:52Yeah, okay.
00:26:52Do you want diamonds on it now, too?
00:26:54Do I look like a diva to you?
00:26:56Get going.
00:27:07Siberius, can you help me with something?
00:27:14Alex.
00:27:16What can I do for you?
00:27:18Is it true that you can make anything?
00:27:21Well, I've got good hands, Alex.
00:27:24So they say.
00:27:26I need something to stick my sword in.
00:27:29Uh, excuse me?
00:27:31For my sword.
00:27:32Preferably checkered.
00:27:33Not that I've ever seen a checkered one.
00:27:35Uh, black is too ordinary.
00:27:37Uh, so you want me to help you make, uh...
00:27:41A thing to stick my sword in, please.
00:27:45Yes, about so big.
00:27:47The main thing is that I need to be able to breathe through it and tie it onto my back.
00:27:50You didn't give me much time.
00:28:00I didn't know we'd freak out like that.
00:28:01I guess we're not allowed to make weapons in school.
00:28:03Never mind.
00:28:04I think I got everything.
00:28:05Now, you can explain to the principal that Gandalf filled his hat with shit and pissed in Gollum's mouth and vomited all over for Orc.
00:28:12Yeah, he did, but that was my interpretation.
00:28:16Stupid brats.
00:28:17That was my interpretation, too.
00:28:19Just you wait until recess.
00:28:22That's when I'm going to give Jessica your sweet little power.
00:28:25You mean this one?
00:28:26Moron.
00:28:27You think that was the only copy?
00:28:29Give me that!
00:28:33Come on, man.
00:28:35It's a treat.
00:28:37Stop that right now.
00:28:38It was him.
00:28:39Follow me, Sean.
00:28:44Oh, my life sucks.
00:28:46You'll be fine.
00:28:47You heard him.
00:28:47I'll be dead come recess.
00:28:49Dead?
00:28:50Give me a break.
00:28:51It's super embarrassing.
00:28:52So man up, damn it.
00:28:54Do something about it.
00:28:55Barry is so cool.
00:28:56He's too cool for this school.
00:28:59Barry is so cool.
00:29:00He's too cool.
00:29:03One, two, one, two.
00:29:08This is Barry with a message for you.
00:29:10It's for all you who've signed up for additional music lessons.
00:29:13The small choir will meet on Tuesdays from one to three.
00:29:16Big band practice on Thursdays from two to three.
00:29:20Get with the program, guys.
00:29:22Everyone has a right to rhythm.
00:29:25That's all.
00:29:25Sorry for the interruption.
00:29:27Bunch of brats.
00:29:28Hello, hello.
00:29:35Huh?
00:29:35This is an important message from Alex from seventh grade to a very special girl who I think needs to know what a super dishy babe she really is.
00:29:45Stop it!
00:29:45I just thought she should know.
00:29:47Yeah, she should.
00:29:48And if you're wondering who Alex is, then, as you know, I'm a desperate little boy with a big mouth and a flat nose.
00:29:59Well, the girl in question is, wow, you can almost hear my heart pounding, Jessica from eighth grade.
00:30:06Oh, this can't be happening.
00:30:08Yes, you are right.
00:30:09I'm crazy about you.
00:30:11And I'm not ashamed.
00:30:12I want the entire school to know that you're a first class fucks.
00:30:16That's all.
00:30:17Sorry for the interruption.
00:30:25Okay, stop that right now.
00:30:27That's an absolute no-no, all right?
00:30:29But very bravely done, I must say.
00:30:30Good luck with it, Alex.
00:30:37Hey, Jessica, way to go.
00:30:41Jessica!
00:30:42Wow, you're beloved.
00:30:45You traitor.
00:30:46Oh, come on.
00:30:47I solved your problem.
00:30:49Solved it?
00:30:49Hey, what's up, Casanova?
00:30:51Yeah, now you've done the thing you feared the most.
00:30:54Oh, you have.
00:30:55Yes, and now the skirt knows your feelings.
00:30:57Sean can wipe his ass with that poem, then drink a bottle of piss for dessert.
00:31:00The whole school is laughing at me.
00:31:02Stand tall and let them laugh.
00:31:04Now, let's go to the cafeteria.
00:31:05The cafeteria?
00:31:06But Glenn will be there.
00:31:07Exactly.
00:31:15Climb up in that trash can.
00:31:17What?
00:31:18Why do I...
00:31:18Just do it.
00:31:20Okay.
00:31:20Hey there, lover boy.
00:31:24Let me do the talking,
00:31:29and you just move your lips.
00:31:31Do you know how to whistle?
00:31:32Yeah.
00:31:32Do it now.
00:31:34Hey, look at him.
00:31:36Hey?
00:31:38Speech!
00:31:42Hello?
00:31:44Attention, everybody.
00:31:46Listen up.
00:31:46I present to you the greatest moron at this school.
00:31:51Namely, Glenn from the special needs class.
00:31:54What?
00:31:55How many of you have been bullied by this meathead at some point in time?
00:32:03Me!
00:32:05Me!
00:32:06Me!
00:32:06Me!
00:32:07Me too!
00:32:08Therefore, in the name of justice,
00:32:14I, Alex of the seventh grade,
00:32:16will issue a challenge to you,
00:32:19Glenn Pizza Face,
00:32:20at 7 p.m. on Saturday
00:32:22at the playground.
00:32:24You and me,
00:32:25if you dare.
00:32:28Are you kidding?
00:32:29Are you crazy?
00:32:30If I dare,
00:32:31I'm gonna crush your skull!
00:32:32The loser will go to school on Monday,
00:32:35naked.
00:32:36Fine!
00:32:37Come Monday,
00:32:38you won't be able to walk,
00:32:39cheeky-cheek loser.
00:32:41He's so right.
00:32:41Alex, please get down.
00:32:43Yes, please.
00:32:44I'd really like that.
00:32:45It sounds like this is going to be great fun.
00:32:47Calm down.
00:32:48Everybody's welcome on Saturday.
00:32:507 p.m.
00:32:54Now that's enough.
00:32:57Awesome, Alex.
00:32:58You're crazy, dude.
00:32:59I'll record everything on Saturday
00:33:00so you can watch it
00:33:01when you regain consciousness.
00:33:04What's up, Tarzan?
00:33:05Do you have some kind of bucket list
00:33:07you need to tick off
00:33:08because you're dying of a deadly disease?
00:33:10Yeah, Ebola maybe.
00:33:11Yeah, maybe Ebola.
00:33:12If you're still alive by Saturday night,
00:33:14you can drop by.
00:33:16I'm having a party.
00:33:19That's awesome, dude.
00:33:20We'll be there.
00:33:21See ya.
00:33:22Maybe.
00:33:23So, you gonna tell me what the plan is?
00:33:31Instead of waiting to get our asses kicked,
00:33:34we've set the terms ourselves.
00:33:35We've chosen the battleground.
00:33:37Yeah, but does it matter where I get my ass kicked?
00:33:39Hell yes.
00:33:40We're in a home turf,
00:33:41and we've decided when we want to fight.
00:33:43You can relax until Saturday at 7.
00:33:45Yeah, unless Glenn doesn't feel like waiting.
00:33:47You challenged him in front of the whole school
00:33:49and promised to humiliate yourself if he wins.
00:33:51So, he'll wait.
00:33:52He's looking forward to Saturday.
00:33:54He's expecting an honest fight.
00:33:56Ugh.
00:33:56Isn't that what he's getting?
00:33:58Are you some kind of moron?
00:34:08Paul!
00:34:14He is directing other movies,
00:34:16but Nightwalk remains his only success.
00:34:20Oh.
00:34:21Oh, he does.
00:34:31Yeah.
00:34:32Okay.
00:34:32Okay.
00:34:32Oh, my God.
00:35:02Oh, no, a splinter.
00:35:10Like his is better?
00:35:11Whatever, dork. It frays my fabric. This is genuine cashmere.
00:35:15Are you a real ninja?
00:35:18What do you know about ninjas?
00:35:21They lived in Japan once, right?
00:35:24Yes, especially in a region called Iga.
00:35:26They lived in the forests in the mountains.
00:35:29They were spies, right? And mercenaries.
00:35:31It was never about money. It was all about protecting their secret society.
00:35:36Who was after them?
00:35:37The samurais and their lords.
00:35:39They felt threatened by the ninja religion and their unique way of life.
00:35:43The greatest warlord feared an uprising and sent 40,000 warriors to Iga province to massacre the clans.
00:35:49So what happened?
00:35:50A few escaped and survived.
00:35:53Most of them died.
00:35:53And one of them did both in a way.
00:35:58Taiko Nakamura.
00:35:59Who?
00:36:00Taiko Nakamura in a hut.
00:36:02He hides with ten clan kids.
00:36:04He's protecting their lives.
00:36:05When the enemy attacked the village, he was the one who was given the task by the clan.
00:36:10Top Gun, the same coward that betrayed him and more, has left the Nobunaga's soldiers to the door.
00:36:21Nakamura meets death with courage and shakable.
00:36:24Shoulder take as many with him, as many as possible.
00:36:26He gets 16 samurais before he's slain.
00:36:29He hears the scream as they burn down the domain.
00:36:34He has failed his mission.
00:36:36The hut turns to cold.
00:36:37He vows for vengeance in exchange for his soul.
00:36:39Lightning strikes in the night as he guts his own belly and his soul leaves his body.
00:36:43So the spirit seeks a story of revenge before the night is over.
00:36:47They find the traitor with ten blades stabbing his cadaver.
00:36:50And ever since, the tale has spun that Nakamura's spirit will become.
00:36:54When evil is done, his soul flies on restless wings.
00:36:57And might strike down with lightning and living in death things.
00:37:00To punish those with dirt and blood on their hands.
00:37:03When kids suffer hard and things are rotting in the lands.
00:37:06For eternity on lonesome raids, he reminisces.
00:37:09Taiko Nakamura, the guardian of justice.
00:37:11Justice.
00:37:18An avenging spirit.
00:37:19So the story goes.
00:37:22A spirit which can appear anywhere.
00:37:24Even in a rag doll.
00:37:27Brrraa!
00:37:30Asshole.
00:37:31You should have seen your face.
00:37:36Alex, did you eat all the eggs?
00:37:38No, John.
00:37:39I could have sworn we had some eggs.
00:37:42Well, I'll have some yogurt then.
00:37:43How will you be spending your Saturday, Alex?
00:37:45Oh, well, I...
00:37:46Oh, today?
00:37:47Alex has great plans.
00:37:49His challenge...
00:37:50Oh, something bit me.
00:37:54I bet it's one of those wood beetles Ani Sheila mentioned.
00:37:57Oh, you think so?
00:37:58Sean, I'm going to give you a deep tissue immunity booster massage.
00:38:02And then it's an early bedtime.
00:38:04Then I'm going to a party.
00:38:05Oh, no.
00:38:06You won't be up for that after an eight-hour treatment like this.
00:38:09John, have you seen my biodynamic massage oil?
00:38:12Nope.
00:38:12I'll use the yogurt then.
00:38:13Dad!
00:38:14It's for your own good, Sean.
00:38:16No!
00:38:24You need to stand on the other side, fool.
00:38:26Huh?
00:38:27Oh, yeah.
00:38:27Over here.
00:38:29He's not coming.
00:38:30Ah, he's too scared.
00:38:32Hey, Pizza Face.
00:38:34Have you come to get your ass kicked?
00:38:36Why don't you come down here if you dare?
00:38:38Fair enough.
00:38:41Whoa, he got egged right in the mouth.
00:38:44What the hell are you doing?
00:39:04I'll break your scope!
00:39:06That's the spirit.
00:39:07Come on, Fartface.
00:39:08Alex!
00:39:15Alex!
00:39:17Alex!
00:39:17Alex!
00:39:22Alex!
00:39:24Alex!
00:39:24Alex!
00:39:25Get him!
00:39:29You got him!
00:39:30You got him!
00:39:35Peek-a-boo!
00:39:36Oh, I got you now!
00:39:48Yes!
00:39:52Oh, shit.
00:39:57Should we get back to it?
00:39:59Yeah, and then I'm gonna kill you!
00:40:01Hi.
00:40:22Whoa! Did you see that? Shit!
00:40:26That'll teach him.
00:40:28Damn, that was legit!
00:40:31Pretty cool, Alyx!
00:40:35There it go, Alyx.
00:40:41Alyx, Alyx, Alyx...
00:40:43Alyx, Alyx, Alyx.
00:40:47Oh, right in the balls.
00:41:12Technically, that was the groin.
00:41:17That actually hurt.
00:41:24What's going on?
00:41:29Come on.
00:41:37Let go of me.
00:41:42Let's go.
00:41:47Was that an apology?
00:41:49Yes.
00:41:50I beg your pardon?
00:41:52Sorry.
00:41:53Excuse me?
00:41:54Sorry!
00:41:56All right!
00:42:03Yes!
00:42:05What's up, champ?
00:42:06Way to go, Alex.
00:42:07How does it feel to win?
00:42:09I'm standing here with Alex, who just beat the school bully.
00:42:1419, Meadow Lane.
00:42:16Duly noted.
00:42:17We'll be there.
00:42:18So, like, who asked you, Harry Potter?
00:42:20Yeah, as if.
00:42:21Come on, Tina.
00:42:22Yeah, Gina.
00:42:23Let's go.
00:42:24We just became cool.
00:42:27If you party like the best, Joe, then you gotta make pesto.
00:42:32So come be my guest, bro.
00:42:34So you can taste my pesto.
00:42:37Far out.
00:42:39We're at Jessica's house.
00:42:40Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:42:41Great.
00:42:42Judy calls.
00:42:43Let's start by finding your dad.
00:42:44All right.
00:42:48Come, give me that pesto.
00:42:50What they won't do for that pesto.
00:42:52In Moscow, I'm a death stone.
00:43:01There he is!
00:43:02Hi, Alex.
00:43:03Well done out there today.
00:43:05Really?
00:43:06Way to go!
00:43:07Oh.
00:43:08Yes, it was.
00:43:09You're so cool.
00:43:10Alex, high five.
00:43:11You were incredible out there.
00:43:12Yeah, it was totally awesome.
00:43:13Get my best.
00:43:14Karate Kid, man.
00:43:15Yep.
00:43:16That's me.
00:43:18Oh.
00:43:19No.
00:43:20This is my killer hand, you know.
00:43:21He's funny, too.
00:43:22Well, I better go say hi to the hostess.
00:43:24Way to go!
00:43:29Hey, champ!
00:43:30Awesome fight.
00:43:31Here you go.
00:43:32This party rocks.
00:43:33Jessica was just here.
00:43:34Jessica, what?
00:43:35Did you see where she went?
00:43:36Ow!
00:43:37Do you know where her parents are?
00:43:39They're in the kitchen.
00:43:40Her mom is super hot.
00:43:41What about her dad?
00:43:42Nah, mostly her mom.
00:43:43Her dad's pretty average.
00:43:44Right.
00:43:45But is he in the kitchen?
00:43:46Yeah, they're chaperoning.
00:43:47I gotta go to the toilet, okay?
00:43:49It's that way.
00:43:52Hi.
00:43:53Have the three of us met before?
00:43:54Uh, talk to the hand, Ginger.
00:43:55Yeah, and Sarah.
00:43:56Yeah, and surround Sam.
00:43:57Sheesh, calm down.
00:44:02Don't forget to get the mom out of there.
00:44:04What for?
00:44:05Do it.
00:44:12Oh, the bathroom's down the hall on the right.
00:44:16Uh, somebody vomited on the carpet.
00:44:18Uh, not again.
00:44:24Just another thing.
00:44:25Uh, excuse me.
00:44:26It's just that...
00:44:29Philip Eppermint!
00:44:31Oh!
00:44:32Shit!
00:44:33Oh!
00:44:34Huh?
00:44:35That's your service.
00:44:36Oh, you gave me quite the scare.
00:44:37I was just getting some...
00:44:38Hey, what's that you got there?
00:44:40I think it's a credit card belonging to you.
00:44:42No, no, no!
00:44:43Oh, a platinum card.
00:44:45Oh, I wish it were mine.
00:44:46But that would require a much higher salary.
00:44:49Nice gesture, though.
00:44:50But...
00:44:51So you're not Philip Eppermint?
00:44:52Yes, but I spell it with a Y, and I'll be changing my name next month.
00:44:56My numerologist suggested Sidney Essameseed, so I guess I'll try that.
00:45:00Okay.
00:45:01Also, because of all the negative publicity about that toy tycoon.
00:45:04Oh, wait, it's probably his credit card, don't you think?
00:45:07He lives over on Beverly Park Circle.
00:45:10Let's go!
00:45:11Say, aren't you Sean's little brother?
00:45:12Yep.
00:45:13Step-brother.
00:45:14Tell your step-father hello, then.
00:45:16He's still mad at me for refusing to provide public funding for the development of his Nixie Dixie dolls.
00:45:22Would you like something to eat?
00:45:23Sure.
00:45:24Why not?
00:45:25Ow!
00:45:26No, I'd better...
00:45:27You okay?
00:45:28Bye.
00:45:29Nice meeting you.
00:45:31Oh, well.
00:45:32That needs some pesto.
00:45:33What is wrong with you?
00:45:34We've been wasting our time.
00:45:35Why did you shout at him?
00:45:37I just got excited.
00:45:38I need to give that credit card back.
00:45:40Yeah, yeah.
00:45:41We're in our hurry.
00:45:42Calm down.
00:45:43Alex!
00:45:44Hey, Jessica.
00:45:45Hi.
00:45:46You're so awesome.
00:45:47Am I?
00:45:48Yeah.
00:45:49I had no idea.
00:45:50I thought you were just a little brat with a ninja doll.
00:45:53Oh, no, no.
00:45:54This is just a gift for my... cousin, so...
00:45:58You're kinda cute.
00:46:00Right back at you.
00:46:02You wanna dance?
00:46:03Uh...
00:46:04Yeah.
00:46:05Definitely.
00:46:06I have to go to the toilet.
00:46:09Will you wait here?
00:46:10Yeah, yeah.
00:46:11Oh, yes.
00:46:13You're not going to dance now, are you?
00:46:16Uh, yes, I am.
00:46:18Hey, human.
00:46:19I helped you, and in return you promised to help me.
00:46:21God.
00:46:22But it doesn't have to be right in the middle of the party.
00:46:24To hell with the party!
00:46:25This is important!
00:46:26Important?
00:46:27Jessica...
00:46:28Forget that chick.
00:46:29I need you!
00:46:30I'll help you like I promised.
00:46:32Just not right now.
00:46:34You...
00:46:35You stinking liar.
00:46:36Hey, chill out.
00:46:37Everything you have is thanks to me.
00:46:39Whatever.
00:46:40Get real.
00:46:41Get real?
00:46:42You...
00:46:43You're only popular because of me.
00:46:44You helped me.
00:46:45Yeah, you did.
00:46:46Help?
00:46:47You didn't make it sound like I wouldn't be able to breathe without you.
00:46:49It was so awesome, man.
00:46:50Especially that time when he flew through the air.
00:46:52There he is.
00:46:53Awesome fight, Alex.
00:46:55Yeah.
00:46:56I bet you didn't see that coming.
00:46:57Especially that kung fu stuff at the end.
00:46:58That was sick.
00:46:59Yeah.
00:47:00You like that?
00:47:01That was actually my own idea.
00:47:02You rule.
00:47:03See ya, Alex.
00:47:04Right.
00:47:05See you in there.
00:47:06See ya later.
00:47:07So, you think you can do it all by yourself?
00:47:09Take fifth, man.
00:47:12No!
00:47:13Wait!
00:47:17Hold on.
00:47:19Ah.
00:47:20Hey, what are we laughing?
00:47:22Excuse me?
00:47:24He-he-he-he!
00:47:25Help!
00:47:26I peed my pants!
00:47:27No!
00:47:28No!
00:47:29No!
00:47:30It's ah!
00:47:31And...
00:47:32I need to take a dump too!
00:47:33No, no, no!
00:47:34It's not like that!
00:47:35Let me explain!
00:47:36Ah!
00:47:37Ah!
00:47:38Ah!
00:47:39Ah!
00:47:40Ah!
00:47:41Ah!
00:47:42Ah!
00:47:43Ah!
00:47:44Ah!
00:47:45Ah!
00:47:46Jessica!
00:47:47I don't wanna dance after all, Jessica. You're not up to my standards.
00:47:51What?
00:47:52Yeah, I think I'm a bit too hot for you. You'll have to settle for Odysseus.
00:47:56Say what?
00:48:02You're too hot for me?
00:48:04What? No, no, there's been a mistake. I never...
00:48:07And I'm not up to your standard?
00:48:09Hey, Alex, did you just tell everyone you wet yourself?
00:48:12What? No, that was the ninja.
00:48:15Yes, this is all because of my ninja doll. Or rather, my cousin's ninja doll, Jessica.
00:48:20Right. See you later, hot stuff.
00:48:22Odysseus, wanna make out?
00:48:24Uh, let me see. Yes, please!
00:48:29Bye. Get home safely.
00:48:30Odysseus?
00:48:31What do you want me to do? The lady wants to make out. If I don't do it, somebody else will.
00:48:46So, did you get to dance?
00:48:48What the hell is your problem?
00:48:49You broke your promise.
00:48:50I said I'd help you.
00:48:52I need your help now.
00:48:53That doesn't give you the right to ruin my life.
00:48:57I'm sorry. I went too far, but this is important.
00:49:01I just don't understand why this credit card thing is a matter of life and death.
00:49:04It's a ninja thing. A matter of honor.
00:49:09Human. If you help me now, I promise I'll make everything right again.
00:49:14You promise?
00:49:15Trust me.
00:49:18Okay. I just have a hard time believing that Jessica will ever like me again.
00:49:22Well, you did say some pretty weird things to her.
00:49:24Hello? That was...
00:49:25All right. Let's go.
00:49:31Don't you think he's asleep?
00:49:33Let's hope so. Come on. We're going in.
00:49:42What the hell are you doing?
00:49:43I'm supposed to be a secret. It's just a precaution. Come on.
00:49:46No, no, no. Don't ring the bell.
00:49:53Why?
00:49:54He hates it when people do that.
00:49:56But...
00:50:00Good thing he's got a cat, huh?
00:50:02A pretty big cat.
00:50:03Are you afraid of big cats?
00:50:04Do you really think this is okay?
00:50:16Of course. He'll be ecstatic to get his credit card back.
00:50:19But can't we just leave it somewhere?
00:50:22I just want to make sure he's here.
00:50:29Damn. I don't think he's home.
00:50:31Look, there's a suitcase. Maybe he's on a trip.
00:50:34So you think he's on a trip because there is a suitcase in his bedroom.
00:50:37Are you sure you're not related to Glenn?
00:50:38All right, fine. But perhaps he's going on a trip.
00:50:41We need to find out.
00:50:47Bingo.
00:50:50What did you say?
00:50:51I said bingo.
00:50:55It's a plane ticket to Thailand.
00:50:56He's going to visit his slave factory.
00:50:58What?
00:50:59Does it say when he leaves?
00:51:00Yeah.
00:51:01But what the hell is going on?
00:51:02I won't pay another penny if it's not up to standard.
00:51:06We'll discuss it when I get there.
00:51:08I will see you then.
00:51:10Is there something wrong, big boy?
00:51:11Hello?
00:51:12Is there somebody here?
00:51:13Hello?
00:51:14Hello?
00:51:15Hello?
00:51:16I've got you now.
00:51:17What the hell?
00:51:18What the hell?
00:51:19Let go, you moron!
00:51:20Ow!
00:51:21Shit!
00:51:22Help!
00:51:23Help!
00:51:24What are you doing?
00:51:25What am I doing?
00:51:26He's getting away, you dipshit!
00:51:28I can't hear it.
00:51:29I can't hear it.
00:51:30Save me in here!
00:51:31I can't hear it!
00:51:32Oh my God!
00:51:33I can't hear it.
00:51:34What are you doing?
00:51:35No, stop.
00:51:39Let go, you moron.
00:51:41Ow.
00:51:47Shit.
00:51:47Help.
00:51:49What are you doing?
00:51:50What am I doing?
00:51:51He's getting away, you dipshit.
00:51:54I can't hear them.
00:51:56They're saving in here.
00:51:58I'm so glad you are here.
00:51:59They're up there.
00:52:00What's going on, Mr. Eppleman?
00:52:01They were falling knives.
00:52:03Well, go check it out.
00:52:03I was so very...
00:52:05Barricade the door, quick!
00:52:08You please, let's explain.
00:52:10Oh, would you like to have a chat now,
00:52:11or do you think maybe we should get out of here first?
00:52:12What the hell is this all about?
00:52:14This has nothing to do with that damn credit card.
00:52:16Philip Eppleman is an evil man.
00:52:18He killed a boy, an innocent little boy,
00:52:21and he uses child slave labor to make his toys.
00:52:24What's your big plan?
00:52:25Are you going to kill him?
00:52:26Something like that.
00:52:27But...
00:52:28You want to look at his life details, right?
00:52:29Yes, but...
00:52:30Don't forget them and get the collar.
00:52:32From that thing?
00:52:33Yeah, unless you're wearing one yourself.
00:52:35This is not happening.
00:52:39His name is Bingo.
00:52:44Help me!
00:52:45There, right behind the ear.
00:52:49Security, open the door!
00:52:51Just in a minute, I'm getting dressed.
00:52:53Quick!
00:52:56What are you doing?
00:52:58Okay, we're breaking down the door.
00:53:01Give me the collar.
00:53:03Granite.
00:53:04Come on.
00:53:05Jump, but...
00:53:06Come on.
00:53:06I...
00:53:06I can't.
00:53:09Bingo!
00:53:09It's you, isn't it?
00:53:31You're Taiko Kamakura.
00:53:32Nakamura.
00:53:33You used me.
00:53:34You promised to help.
00:53:36Yeah, to deliver a credit card.
00:53:38Not to kill people.
00:53:39Haven't you been listening?
00:53:40He killed an innocent little boy.
00:53:42And now you're going to kill him?
00:53:43It's called justice.
00:53:47Now, what about the other slave kids at the factory?
00:53:49Are you just going to look the other way?
00:53:51Things like that happen all the time.
00:53:52Oh, well.
00:53:53That's all right, then.
00:53:54No, but...
00:53:55Just tell me when his plane leaves.
00:53:57No.
00:53:58What?
00:53:58I've won no part in this.
00:54:08Tell me now.
00:54:12No.
00:54:13Just do it.
00:54:15I've had it.
00:54:26I can't kill you, human.
00:54:28We've been through too much together.
00:54:32But it might be easier with...
00:54:35It might be easier...
00:54:37Ha-ha!
00:54:37With Sean.
00:54:39No, you can't.
00:54:40But you said you wanted him dead.
00:54:42But those were just words.
00:54:44The only thing I understand are actions.
00:54:51No, stop!
00:54:52Me!
00:55:10Get off the road!
00:55:12Ah!
00:55:14Ah!
00:55:15Oh!
00:55:16Oh!
00:55:17Oh!
00:55:18Sean!
00:55:19Oh!
00:55:20Oh!
00:55:21Oh!
00:55:22Oh!
00:55:23No!
00:55:24No!
00:55:25No!
00:55:27Sean!
00:55:28Uh!
00:55:29What's going on?
00:55:33Dinner time?
00:55:35Stop it!
00:55:38No!
00:55:39Ah!
00:55:40Ah!
00:55:42What's going on?
00:55:43Alex, stop!
00:55:44Alex!
00:55:46Alex!
00:55:47What are you doing, Alex?
00:55:50Dad, are you all right, Snooker?
00:55:52Alex!
00:55:52Alex, put down that pillow.
00:55:54Yes, pillow down, Alex.
00:55:56But it wasn't me.
00:55:57You think I did this?
00:55:59It was a ninja.
00:56:00He's out there somewhere.
00:56:03He wants me to help him, but I don't want to become a murderer.
00:56:07Alex, what's happening to you, darling?
00:56:09But, Mom, you've got to believe me.
00:56:11The checkered ninja has come alive, and he wants to kill Sean.
00:56:19Stress, pure and simple.
00:56:21He just needs complete calm.
00:56:22But for how long?
00:56:24Hard to say.
00:56:24A couple of weeks, maybe.
00:56:26A couple of weeks?
00:56:27But we can't just leave him here.
00:56:28Well, we can't have him at home either when he's trying to kill Sean, darling.
00:56:32No, I don't think so either.
00:56:33I already told you it was a ninja.
00:56:37Hello?
00:56:37Hello?
00:56:37Doctor, could you give him this dreamcatcher?
00:56:42It might help take the edge off his anxiety.
00:56:44Why don't you all go home and get some rest, all right?
00:56:48Alex is safe with us.
00:56:49Oh, poor little Alex.
00:57:06So, you've lost your marbles after all.
00:57:11Poor boy.
00:57:14I'm sure it's stress.
00:57:16Where are you?
00:57:23Huh?
00:57:24Hmm.
00:57:25Here.
00:57:29Nice room.
00:57:31Love what you've done with it.
00:57:34Tell me when it's rightly.
00:57:37Sever!
00:57:37You tried to kill my brother.
00:57:46Step.
00:57:47You accepted my help, but now you refuse to help me.
00:57:50You're totally crazy.
00:57:52Hmm.
00:57:54You think you're too good to get your hands dirty.
00:57:58Try blaming this on your teddy bear.
00:58:00Doctor, can you come here?
00:58:02I have something important to tell you.
00:58:04Just a moment, Alex.
00:58:05I'll be right there.
00:58:05Oh, come on.
00:58:06Stop it.
00:58:07Are you really going to kill an innocent man?
00:58:09It's him or Eppermint.
00:58:10Please hurry, doctor.
00:58:12My bed's on fire.
00:58:13Yes, I'm coming, Alex.
00:58:14It's now or never.
00:58:15Listen, I want to punish Eppermint, too.
00:58:18But we don't have to kill him, do we?
00:58:20What?
00:58:20You think it's enough just to egg him?
00:58:22No, but...
00:58:23I want him dead.
00:58:24He deserves the ultimate punishment, and that's final.
00:58:27Huh.
00:58:29Punishment.
00:58:30Hmm.
00:58:31Well, why not punish him even harder?
00:58:35What?
00:58:36Well, what if we could make him wish he were dead?
00:58:38What do you mean?
00:58:39I promise you that we can hit Philip Eppermint hard.
00:58:42But we have to hurry.
00:58:43He's about to leave.
00:58:44Hello?
00:58:45I can't avenge the murder of a child without blood.
00:58:48Can't?
00:58:48That doesn't sound like you, the great Kamakura.
00:58:51Nakamura.
00:58:52Do you know why you can't?
00:58:53Because you believe that you can't.
00:58:55Wasn't that what you told me?
00:58:56And you were right.
00:58:57I could do it.
00:58:58Because of you.
00:58:59You gave me courage.
00:59:01And now you're the one who's afraid.
00:59:02Afraid of what?
00:59:04Coming, Alex.
00:59:05I'm gonna tuck him in.
00:59:06You're afraid to change.
00:59:08Why do you think you've been coming back to Han for 400 years?
00:59:11You're even afraid to trust me.
00:59:13Don't tell me I'm afraid, you big...
00:59:15Then prove it.
00:59:16Trust me.
00:59:17We'll bring Eppermint down for good.
00:59:26Well, Alex, it's just about your bedtime.
00:59:29I think you're ready to let us go.
00:59:41Don't you think?
00:59:42Yeah, we're in a bit of a hurry.
00:59:50Good to see you, Alex.
00:59:51As agreed, I'll call your parents and tell them you need complete freedom and suggest me to left in peace.
00:59:56Yeah, and lots of smoothies.
00:59:58Smoothies, definitely.
00:59:59They'll work wonders.
01:00:00In fact, I'll tell them straight away.
01:00:02I'll call them right now.
01:00:03Super-duper party trooper.
01:00:07So, what's the plan?
01:00:09He's leaving tonight, so we have to hurry.
01:00:11Yes, we have to stop him.
01:00:12No, but we will be giving him a going-away present.
01:00:14Huh?
01:00:14Yeah, something to bring to Thailand.
01:00:17You've lost me.
01:00:18We're going to visit my uncle.
01:00:19That old drunk.
01:00:20Yes, sirs!
01:00:21I suck at playing canasta at a rummy and at whist.
01:00:27Always get beat in uno, because I play it with a twist.
01:00:30And I don't even know a quick card trick.
01:00:33But I'm the best in the world when I'm playing with my...
01:00:36I'm not that good at tennis, don't know how to play squash.
01:00:44I'm ridiculous at soccer, at handball I'm no boss.
01:00:48At basketball I'm always the last pick.
01:00:51But I'm the best in the world when I'm playing with my...
01:00:54Who's at nothing now?
01:00:56Best in the world when I'm playing with my...
01:00:57Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.
01:00:59Best in the world when I'm playing with my...
01:01:01And spanking, and slapping, and playing with my...
01:01:05Hello.
01:01:07All right, then.
01:01:09Hi.
01:01:10Alex, my boy.
01:01:11Good to see you.
01:01:12I was just about to sing Dick.
01:01:14Uh, okay.
01:01:15Can I come in?
01:01:16Sure.
01:01:17Are you okay?
01:01:18Yeah, yeah.
01:01:20Ouch!
01:01:21Hot damn in a frying pan.
01:01:23You want a fried egg?
01:01:24No, thanks.
01:01:25Make yourself at home.
01:01:27I came to ask you for your help with something.
01:01:30For you, anything.
01:01:31It's because I'm doing a school assignment on drugs.
01:01:34I see.
01:01:36I'm not into that shit, Alex.
01:01:37You know that.
01:01:38Of course not.
01:01:39But you just know so much about life and stuff.
01:01:42That's true, Alex.
01:01:44I know my way around the block, as they say.
01:01:46Yeah.
01:01:47I move in certain circles.
01:01:49Yeah.
01:01:49I know the games people play.
01:01:51Yeah, so I thought...
01:01:52I know where the bodies are buried.
01:01:54Exactly.
01:01:55Uh, I have to write a report about drugs and how you get a hold of those drugs.
01:01:59Ah, that's simple, my boy.
01:02:00Well, you just call them up, and they deliver them straight to your door.
01:02:04Really?
01:02:04You bet.
01:02:05That's how it works.
01:02:06At least I think so.
01:02:08Who knows?
01:02:09But who do you call?
01:02:11Well, I certainly don't know that, Alex.
01:02:13And even if I did, I couldn't just tell you that his name is Scooter Scotty.
01:02:18Oh, shit.
01:02:19Oh, well.
01:02:19And what do you say when you call Scooter Scotty?
01:02:22Ah, well, you say, what's up, Rectangle?
01:02:25Rectangle?
01:02:25I probably shouldn't have told you, but that's his code name.
01:02:29Oh, and then you just give him your order?
01:02:30Yes, but discreetly.
01:02:32What's up?
01:02:33You going out?
01:02:33Can I come by?
01:02:35I'm baking, you see, but I've run out of flour.
01:02:38And then he just delivers.
01:02:39Yes, well, not just to anybody.
01:02:41You can't just call him.
01:02:43Well, maybe if you told him, Stuart said hi.
01:02:46Yeah.
01:02:47I mean, I might have done it once at a party.
01:02:50Yeah, or twice.
01:02:51It was New Year's Eve.
01:02:52It was maxed three times, and never on weekdays except in summer.
01:02:56You don't have his number by any chance, do you?
01:03:00No, I can't give you his number, Alex.
01:03:01I'm sure you understand.
01:03:02No, safely noted on the S in my private little black book, which I'm the only one who has access to.
01:03:07But that sounds like an interesting assignment, Alex.
01:03:13Do you want a can of mackerel or something?
01:03:16Alex?
01:03:18Hmm.
01:03:19I could have swan-eyed guests.
01:03:21Oh, well, to hell with that.
01:03:25Ah.
01:03:27Yes, sirs.
01:03:28Here comes Pat.
01:03:29Here comes Pat.
01:03:29Toast man Pat.
01:03:30In his car with a big fat glow.
01:03:32Oh.
01:03:32I'm a white blind.
01:03:33It's the snow for the nose.
01:03:34You ring, I'm bringing it loose.
01:03:35Posting my bed.
01:03:36Steady and calm.
01:03:37Drink it all up.
01:03:38Don't put it on.
01:03:39Slang in the cane.
01:03:39Pushing the keys.
01:03:40I provide.
01:03:41All to the gym.
01:03:43All to the gym.
01:03:45Yeah?
01:03:45Hi there, Rectangle.
01:03:47This is, my name's Glenn.
01:03:49Glenn?
01:03:50Yeah, Stuart told me to say hi.
01:03:52The old drunk.
01:03:53Okay.
01:03:55Yeah, and I'm baking.
01:03:57You know, cinnamon rolls.
01:03:59Something like that.
01:04:00But I'm out of flour.
01:04:01Okay.
01:04:03Hmm, where are you?
01:04:05Uh, I'm in my bedroom.
01:04:07Uh-uh.
01:04:07Taking a bath right now.
01:04:09I mean, I'm going to take a bath.
01:04:10Are you stupid or something?
01:04:12Yeah.
01:04:13Okay.
01:04:14I have to run a couple of errands.
01:04:16We can meet in the supermarket parking garage.
01:04:19Hi, sweetie.
01:04:20Would you like some smoothie?
01:04:21No, not right now.
01:04:22What?
01:04:23I mean, yes, right now is fine.
01:04:25I can be there in an hour.
01:04:26How much you need?
01:04:27We can make it in a to-go company.
01:04:29I don't want any, okay?
01:04:30What?
01:04:30Make up your mind.
01:04:31Just say when.
01:04:32Yes?
01:04:33Okay, Alex?
01:04:34Oh, oh, oh.
01:04:35Hello.
01:04:35Sorry, uh, one kilo.
01:04:37You're breaking up a little bit.
01:04:39One kilo.
01:04:41One kilo?
01:04:42Yeah.
01:04:42Like 1,000 grams?
01:04:44That's right.
01:04:45What the hell are you doing?
01:04:46It's all part of the plan.
01:04:47Saying no to smoothies.
01:04:48Great plan.
01:04:49Hello?
01:04:50Are you sure you can afford that much flour?
01:04:52Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:04:53Otherwise, that's going to be one messy kitchen.
01:04:55You know what I mean?
01:04:56Yeah, sure.
01:04:57Of course.
01:04:58See you soon.
01:04:59Hi, Rectangle.
01:05:21What the hell's this?
01:05:22It's me, Glenn.
01:05:24You're Glenn?
01:05:25Yeah.
01:05:27All right.
01:05:28But don't do it all at once.
01:05:31So, you don't have a problem with me being a kid?
01:05:34What can I do?
01:05:35If I don't do it, somebody else will.
01:05:38Do you have the money?
01:05:39Sure I have.
01:05:40Here you go.
01:05:41Do I have idiot tattooed on my forehead?
01:05:44Yes.
01:05:45Give me the money, man.
01:05:47Well, that was a dumb move.
01:05:49A really dumb move.
01:05:50You can't leave me here.
01:05:59We wouldn't.
01:06:00The police are on their way.
01:06:03Help!
01:06:04Help!
01:06:05Somebody!
01:06:06Please!
01:06:06Please!
01:06:07Please!
01:06:07Please!
01:06:08Please!
01:06:09Please!
01:06:10Please!
01:06:11Please!
01:06:12Please!
01:06:13Please!
01:06:14Please!
01:06:15Please!
01:06:16Please!
01:06:17Please!
01:06:18Please!
01:06:19Please!
01:06:20There you go.
01:06:38I'm open.
01:06:38Yeah.
01:06:40You sure this is enough?
01:06:42Are you kidding?
01:06:43When they find this, they'll lock them up and throw away the key.
01:06:46Hey, watch it with the needle.
01:06:48This is genuine cashmere.
01:06:49Huh.
01:06:50I used to take arts and crafts.
01:06:51Nice work.
01:06:53Hey, you're a born architect then.
01:06:55I've got a little something for you.
01:06:57For me?
01:06:57Mm-hmm.
01:06:58A gift?
01:06:58Mm-hmm.
01:06:59Wow!
01:07:00Hey, what is it?
01:07:02A homemade telescope?
01:07:03Turn around.
01:07:04Huh?
01:07:05You have to be ready for your mission, you know.
01:07:08Huh.
01:07:09You shouldn't be waving that thing around like that.
01:07:11You've made a...
01:07:13Uh...
01:07:14Yeah, it's made of cardboard, so it isn't waterproof.
01:07:18Ah.
01:07:19Checkered.
01:07:20I've...
01:07:21Mm-hmm.
01:07:22I've nothing for you.
01:07:23You've given me so much.
01:07:24It's...
01:07:25It's been fun.
01:07:26Yeah.
01:07:27It has.
01:07:28Come on.
01:07:29Hmm?
01:07:30Yeah.
01:07:31Yeah.
01:07:32It has.
01:07:33Come on.
01:07:34Hmm?
01:07:35Yeah.
01:07:36Ah.
01:07:37All right.
01:07:38Okay.
01:07:39Let go of me.
01:07:40Wuss.
01:07:41We're going to war.
01:07:42All right.
01:07:43Okay.
01:07:44Let go of me.
01:07:45Wuss.
01:07:46We're going to war.
01:08:05All right.
01:08:06When Ekerin arrives, he'll be checking in right over there.
01:08:09We're going to sneak down, and when he isn't looking, he'll jump into his back.
01:08:13Tell me that it's safe to trust people again.
01:08:15Huh?
01:08:16Huh?
01:08:17What are you doing with my phone?
01:08:18I was just, um, um, looking for my sword.
01:08:21Is he there yet?
01:08:22Hmm.
01:08:24There.
01:08:25That's him.
01:08:35Okay.
01:08:36Time to go.
01:08:37Yes.
01:08:39What?
01:08:40Oh, no.
01:08:41He's headed straight for security.
01:08:42What?
01:08:43He's only got a carry-on.
01:08:44Come on.
01:08:49Excuse me.
01:08:50I need to get by.
01:08:51Ouch!
01:08:53No!
01:08:54Damn.
01:08:55What now?
01:08:56You'll have to take that one.
01:08:58Yeah.
01:08:59And then change bags in Bangkok.
01:09:01Bangkok.
01:09:08Okay.
01:09:09Now.
01:09:13Good luck.
01:09:14Thanks.
01:09:15Now get out of here.
01:09:16Next, please.
01:09:17Yep.
01:09:18That's me.
01:09:19Just off to Thailand.
01:09:20Play a bit of golf.
01:09:21Good exercise.
01:09:22Yes.
01:09:23And you get some sun too.
01:09:24Yeah.
01:09:25Yeah.
01:09:26Okay.
01:09:27Okay.
01:09:28Now get out of here.
01:09:29Go for that.
01:09:30Okay.
01:09:32Now get out of here.
01:09:33Let's go.
01:10:03Let's go.
01:10:33I know our time is out, and what you're about, nothing more to do or say, you'll never look back or stay.
01:10:44I hope that you'll find your way.
01:11:14Huh?
01:11:15Have a sniff, Fido.
01:11:26Hello?
01:11:30Oh!
01:11:31Oh!
01:11:32Oh!
01:11:33Oh!
01:11:37Oh!
01:11:45you're finished child killer what's happening
01:12:15but i i don't know what i that that's not that is not that's not mine
01:12:27no no no stop
01:12:28that hurt
01:12:34i can't believe he's actually doing it it's crazy
01:12:50show it to alex look at this
01:12:53nice ass well it's prettier than his face
01:12:58hi alex
01:13:00uh hi thank you for your sweet message what you said really moved me
01:13:05what what was the message yeah what was the message omg'll die
01:13:09hello it's me listen i just want to say that i'm sorry for everything i put you
01:13:16through isn't it super cute you're the most
01:13:18wonderful person i've ever met i'm so brave you've taught me that it's safe
01:13:22to trust people again oh cute goodbye what are you doing with my
01:13:25phone isn't that just cute oh my god i almost
01:13:31fainted i can't believe it right it came straight from the heart you know
01:13:35oh shh he's behind you yeah he's right there go
01:13:39oh my god oh my so god how cute is that what just happened what just happened
01:13:51hashtag prince charming hashtag wow hashtag summer wedding
01:13:55there you go alex nice smoothie for you and there's lots of cookies for you too my darling
01:14:03yes just dig in there alex john you haven't touched your quinoa
01:14:06what no would you like to go first sean
01:14:09delicious thank you very much serena
01:14:14i would like to propose a toast to serena and to you alex thank you for welcoming us into your
01:14:21home cheers oh that was so sweet john cheers congratulations on your patent thank you yes
01:14:26the supermarket ordered 6 000 snacky packs i'll be able to help out with the bills now
01:14:31shh shh oh yeah at bangkok airport where billionaire toy tycoon philip eppermint was arrested
01:14:36eppermint will now be charged with drug smuggling and bloody fingerprints on a toy doll
01:14:41have also led to the arrest of a 38 year old factory manager
01:14:45from eastern bangkok it's a tough world out there did you hear about that drug dealer the
01:14:49police found in the trunk of the car no what happened yeah did a superhero catch him
01:14:53you could say that no that's just vigilantism yeah but pretty awesome yeah and brave i wonder
01:14:59what motivates someone like that i mean yes but what is he thinking no bag snatchers run rampant
01:15:05in the suburbs the locals are scared to leave their homes after dark the police have been
01:15:12probably thinking if i don't do something then nobody else will
01:15:17sweetie pie where are you going
01:15:22i'm just going out
01:15:30you
01:15:42you
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