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The Couple Next Door Season 1 Episode 3
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Short filmTranscript
00:00You
00:30Oh, I'm so sorry, Peter.
01:00You're so excited about what you've got in those bin bags.
01:04My fish, Dad.
01:06Hence the smell.
01:07Oh, how awful.
01:11How?
01:12I don't know.
01:14Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
01:16Come on, mister.
01:26Hey, mate.
01:28Hey.
01:30Hey, you, uh, you owned a building supplies place in Sheepsky yesterday, were you?
01:35Where?
01:36Roseville Road.
01:37God, no.
01:39Old day in office, suddenly.
01:41Oh, I could have sworn it was you.
01:43It's only looked like a couple of traffic cops.
01:45Did you get the numbers?
01:46No.
01:48Got some big scoop?
01:50Might do.
01:51Yeah?
01:51Can't say, yeah.
01:52There'll be a cooker if I can pull it off.
01:54Nice.
01:55Good luck.
01:56Anything I can do to help?
01:59Actually, if I wanted to check someone's criminal record, but there was nothing on file...
02:04Like who?
02:06Local businessman, for example.
02:08I'll lose my job if I did something like that.
02:10Sorry.
02:11Of course.
02:12Yeah.
02:12Oh, well.
02:14No worries.
02:15Have a good day.
02:16No worries.
02:17No worries.
02:18I'll lose my job.
02:20I'll lose my job.
02:21No worries.
02:29And I'll lose my job.
02:33No worries.
02:33No worries.
02:35And I'm sorry.
02:37Miss Greenwood, Miss Greenwood, I'm so sorry, can you repeat that?
03:04I hope that was a nice daydream you were having.
03:07I was just asking, are you happy with the new after-school rota?
03:11Absolutely.
03:15What the hell was in that van?
03:16Diamonds.
03:17Diamonds?
03:18You didn't want to know, Danny.
03:19Don't give me that.
03:20Well, what?
03:21From where?
03:22South Africa, I guess.
03:23I don't know.
03:24Traffic to Eagle.
03:25Well, obviously Danny.
03:26He's hardly likely to have declared him to customs, is he?
03:31You sold this to me as a piece of cake.
03:32We both could have been killed.
03:35My son.
03:36I could have ended up without a father.
03:37I'm sorry.
03:38I'll go for one piece, aren't we safe and sound, huh?
03:39What about CCTV?
03:40We'll be all over it.
03:41Don't worry about that.
03:42Leave that to me.
03:43The issue here is we're in serious shit, Spencer.
03:44I don't want to hear it.
03:45Danny!
03:46Dan!
03:47Danny!
03:48Dan!
03:49Dan!
03:50Dan!
03:51Dan!
03:52Dan!
03:53I don't want to hear it.
03:54Danny!
03:55Dan!
03:56Dan!
03:57You!
03:58I don't want to hear it.
03:59He's in trouble.
04:00Thanks.
04:04Thanks.
04:06Thanks.
04:10Who's going to hear it?
04:12Hmm.
04:42So, what we do is put the support bracket at the bottom here, all the way up, and away
05:10you go, up to the Evans.
05:12Is it not tricky with the turns?
05:14Oh no, love.
05:15We do these all the time.
05:16And I've got you down for this Saturday.
05:19That's still good?
05:20Yes.
05:21I'll have you exploring upstairs before you know it.
05:25Right then, see you Saturday.
05:26Thanks very much.
05:27I'll see you then.
05:40Animal minds raising awareness for the mental health of pets.
05:58We are living through an epidemic of dog depression apparently.
06:01Wow.
06:02Wow, wow.
06:03Who says local journalism is dead, huh?
06:05Yeah, alright.
06:06Don't rub it in.
06:07Well, how about a real story?
06:10Because your Dr. Watson has some brand new information.
06:14Go on.
06:15Firstly, this is Colossus Building supplies' turnover for last year.
06:22You've seen the place.
06:23It's not that special.
06:24Bloody hell, that's huge.
06:26Wait, no, that's nothing compared to this.
06:30Apparently, our fictitious Eddie Smallwood has accounts in the Cayman Islands.
06:35Even though he's a figment of Robbie Spencer's imagination?
06:37Look at all those zeros.
06:39That would make him the richest man in Leeds if he existed.
06:43Who makes that much money on the local property and development market?
06:48Feels like the story's a whole lot bigger than a bit of council corruption.
06:51Mm-hmm.
07:21Mm-hmm.
07:22Mm-hmm.
07:23Mm-hmm.
07:24Mm-hmm.
07:25Mm-hmm.
07:26Mm-hmm.
07:27Mm-hmm.
07:28Mm-hmm.
07:29Mm-hmm.
07:30Mm-hmm.
07:31Mm-hmm.
07:32Mm-hmm.
07:33Mm-hmm.
07:34Mm-hmm.
07:35Mm-hmm.
07:36Mm-hmm.
07:37Mm-hmm.
07:38Mm-hmm.
07:39Mm-hmm.
07:40Mm-hmm.
07:41Mm-hmm.
07:42Mm-hmm.
07:43Mm-hmm.
07:44Mm-hmm.
07:45Mm-hmm.
07:46Mm-hmm.
07:47Mm-hmm.
07:48Mm-hmm.
07:49Mm-hmm.
07:50What are you kids doing this weekend?
08:18Not a lot.
08:19Okay.
08:20Well, I've been offered a two-bedroom suite at Fourfield Hall Spa for free.
08:25Fourfield Hall?
08:26Mm-hmm.
08:27Are you serious?
08:28What, do you fancy it?
08:29Yeah.
08:30Wow.
08:31I mean, I need to chat with Pete, but I can't say why not.
08:34Great.
08:35Promise to behave myself.
08:36Don't do that.
08:37You let me know when you've spoken to him.
08:40Yeah.
08:41Yeah, of course.
08:42Great.
08:43How's it looking?
08:44Yeah.
08:45How's it looking?
08:46Yeah.
08:47Faint number of places and we're totally unrecognizable.
08:53We're good, mate.
08:54All right, well.
08:55Then that's me out.
08:56No, Danny.
08:57It doesn't work like that.
08:58I told you we've got to go and see him.
08:59No.
09:00No.
09:01No.
09:02No.
09:03No.
09:04You recruited me.
09:05You deal with it.
09:06I want nothing more to do with him.
09:09Cup of awful dreck?
09:10Why not?
09:11Mm-hmm.
09:12It'll stave off the existential hells for ten minutes.
09:13You'll never guess.
09:14No.
09:15You'll never guess.
09:16What, do you bet?
09:17It's so impossible.
09:18We're good, mate.
09:19All right, well...
09:20Then that's me out.
09:21No, Danny.
09:22It doesn't work like that.
09:23I told you we've got to go and see him.
09:24No, no.
09:25You recruited me.
09:26You deal with it.
09:27I want nothing more to do with him.
09:28Cup of awful dreck?
09:29Why not?
09:30Mm-hmm.
09:31It'll stave off the existential angsts for ten minutes.
09:35Oh, you'll never guess whose place I was at last night.
09:38The Whackle.
09:39Oh.
09:40So, is it always just the three of them?
09:44Well, in the relationship, yeah.
09:46But, you know, they can play with others.
09:49They ever ask you?
09:50I'm quite a chair all the time.
09:54And you've never...
09:56No, have you ever?
09:58No.
09:59Why are you asking me these questions?
10:01I don't know.
10:02I guess I'm just the old funny-duddy trying to figure out how the world works these days.
10:08Mm-hmm.
10:09Well, no, I haven't, but, you know, it doesn't mean I wouldn't.
10:13You only live once, right?
10:23Hi, Yvonne.
10:25How are you?
10:27Bit of a weird one with your next class.
10:29Literally half the class cancelled last minute.
10:32Right.
10:34Um...
10:35Well, I mean, it looks like all of the school mums,
10:37so maybe there was an event or something that I missed.
10:40That makes sense.
10:42Okay.
10:44Hi, guys.
10:46So, we are a little depleted this week,
10:49but good news is that just means more one-on-one attention from me.
10:54From me.
11:02I want to come in this time.
11:05You can't just rock up whenever you feel like it.
11:07Can't you see I'm genuine?
11:09Lena.
11:13Please.
11:14It's time I met him.
11:15It's time I met him.
11:16Ethan?
11:17Ethan?
11:18Ethan?
11:19Ethan?
11:20Ethan?
11:21Ethan?
11:23This is Danny.
11:25What are you saying?
11:26What are you saying?
11:29This is Danny.
11:30Ethan?
11:40Ethan?
11:47This is Danny.
11:53Hi.
11:56Yeah.
11:56I, uh...
11:58Hi.
11:59I...I'm your...
12:02Dad.
12:06Uh, rude.
12:08What are you saying?
12:10I said you're rubbish at signing.
12:12Oh.
12:14I'd like you to teach me.
12:16It's like when I'm going to start seeing you now.
12:19Would you like that?
12:21I guess.
12:23Mum says you're a policeman.
12:26That's right.
12:28Court any evil criminals?
12:30Oh.
12:31Plenty.
12:32Cool.
12:35I was hoping you and I could go out together next time I come over.
12:40Yeah.
12:41Let's just see how we're going.
12:43It's a lot for him to take in.
12:44I can lip read, you know.
12:52Oh, there you are.
12:53Me and Miss Pinty the dinosaur are together all day.
12:57Oh, I think Miss Greenwood would like a rest now.
13:00No, not at all.
13:01What she talks about is Miss Greenwood.
13:04Obsessed, aren't you?
13:08I haven't seen you since...
13:10I just want to say how sorry I am.
13:19Right, come on.
13:20Bye Miss Greenwood.
13:21Bye.
13:28Mum!
13:29Mum!
13:30Hello.
13:31Cut picked for football team.
13:32Yes!
13:33Of course you did!
13:34Well done.
13:35Mum!
13:36Yeah?
13:37What's a whore?
13:39Ollie, who said that to you?
13:40Well, they didn't.
13:41Just said.
13:42Okay.
13:43Well, that's a very disrespectful word that people say about women and you're never to use it.
13:47Do you understand?
13:49Okay.
13:50It seems like a sweet kid.
13:59Danny, let's get a few things clear.
14:02If you swan in here like some kind of saviour and then just fuck off again the moment things get tough, you will destroy that boy.
14:08I'm here.
14:09Now.
14:10For God.
14:12You have my word.
14:16Fine.
14:18So tell your family.
14:21Not now.
14:22Why not?
14:27Scared she'll leave you.
14:28No, leave Becca out of here.
14:30Embarrassed because of how we met.
14:33Worried you might lose your job if your boss has found out.
14:35I need him in your life properly.
14:37He has a brother, for Christ's sake. Don't you think that they should meet?
14:43She's gonna find out anyway Danny, so just get it out in the open.
14:46I told you, I need time.
14:51Look, I gotta go, but...
14:54I'll be back next week.
14:56You take him out for a day.
14:58Okay?
15:01Okay.
15:06I mean where the hell is he picking up words like that?
15:08Oh come on, he didn't know what it meant.
15:11Yeah.
15:16Are you alright?
15:18Yeah.
15:19I'm just...
15:21fed up of well-meaning mums telling me how sorry they are.
15:25People really need to mind their own business.
15:28You know I've wanted to be a mum since I was young, Bax.
15:36What if it doesn't happen?
15:39You didn't know that it worked.
15:42Did you find it easy?
15:44We weren't trying.
15:46It just sort of happened.
15:48I mean we weren't exactly being careful.
15:50You must have been open to the possibility then.
15:53Well it's more that we were...
15:56young and reckless.
16:00Well it all worked out okay.
16:03Yeah.
16:05I mean this isn't...
16:08necessarily the life that I would have chosen.
16:12What do you mean?
16:14Well there's a world where...
16:17we'd still be travelling and having...
16:20wild adventures.
16:22But I know you can't do that forever.
16:26So I don't mean to be...
16:28moaning, I have an awful lot to be grateful for.
16:31No.
16:32Don't be daft.
16:34We always want what we don't have.
16:40Didn't you think to ask me first?
16:41I'm asking you now.
16:43You've already told her we're going.
16:44Okay, so I'll call her and say thanks,
16:46but no we don't want to come on a free luxury spa weekend.
16:50I just...
16:52What?
16:54I just feel like we're spending all our free time with them.
16:56What is your problem with them?
16:58I don't have a problem.
16:59They're...
17:00perfectly nice.
17:01Well good.
17:02Then get over yourself.
17:03We're just going to have a fun weekend.
17:08Babe, can...
17:12Can I just say something?
17:15I feel...
17:16I feel like you're a million miles away from me half the time.
17:20I'm fine.
17:22We have been through something really tough.
17:24And now we're moving on from it.
17:29I'm just trying to make you happy.
17:33This will make me happy.
17:42Okay.
17:44That's what you want.
17:46As long as it's just, you know, normal weekend.
17:49What is that supposed to mean?
17:50Oh, come on.
17:51You must have thought it.
17:55Why don't you just stop worrying?
17:58Or just go and have a nice time?
17:59Orly, I said turn it off five minutes ago.
18:12Just one more minute.
18:14Now!
18:16If this stupid controller worked properly, then I would...
18:21Dad! I haven't finished!
18:22Do you know how lucky you are to have all this stuff?
18:25Do you?
18:36There was no need for that.
18:39He doesn't respect me.
18:41Bollocks.
18:42He hangs on your every word.
18:44Been in a shitty mood since you got in.
18:47What's going on?
18:50Nothing.
18:53Listen.
18:59You and I are going to go away and have a lovely weekend together.
19:08Yeah.
19:11Yeah, right.
19:22I was waiting for her to have a nice day.
19:36Yeah, I know what, and I can do better.
19:38But then I'm waiting for her to have a nice day.
19:41And I'm going to have a good night with a nice time.
19:43I was waiting for her to stay up to her as well.
19:45Today I was waiting for her to stay up to her.
19:48If she's not a good night, I was going to be able to stay up to her.
19:50Oh, my God.
20:20Shh, shh, shh, Johnny. Sorry. Sorry, I thought you saw me. I thought someone was being attacked. I know. Me too. It's just some foxes mating. Oh, it's not. They don't sound like they're having a very nice time. No, who are we to judge? Exactly. We all do it. Just not in a bush at two in morning.
20:50I don't know. Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at the hotel. What? Are you guys coming? Did Becca not tell you? No, no. What? No, probably wanted to surprise me.
21:06Oh. I hope it's a nice surprise.
21:20Good night.
21:21Becca, this place looks incredible.
21:40I gave you all this for free.
21:41Yep.
21:42Amazing what 30,000 followers can get you these days.
21:50Whoa! Wow!
21:52Didn't know we were friends with such a VIP.
21:54Oh, hardly.
21:55No, I just persuaded a bunch of yoga mums to cough up for a weekend here.
21:58Well, here's to the yoga mums and their disposable income.
22:02And Danny's mum for childcare.
22:04Oh, I'll definitely drink to that.
22:05Cheers.
22:06Cheers.
22:07Cheers.
22:08Well, you have so many followers.
22:11Why don't you keep on top of it?
22:12I just post a few things here and there.
22:14I don't even read the comments.
22:15Yeah, but ask her how long she takes setting up for each shot.
22:18Yeah, okay.
22:19Well, the phone is down this weekend and I'm living in the moment.
22:22Speaking of which, itineraries.
22:24So, Evie and I have a facial at two, colored by a sauna and steam.
22:28Oh!
22:29And you both have massages.
22:31Nice.
22:32Oh, sorry.
22:33Pete has a massage.
22:34Uh, well, first time for everything.
22:37That's the spirit.
22:38So, which room shall we have?
22:41Ladies' choice.
22:43Alright.
22:54All done and ready for lift off.
23:12Oh, this is going to be life changing.
23:14Well, that's what we're here for.
23:16Thank you so much.
23:24So, what's this big story you're investigating?
23:27Oh, it's pretty boring, really.
23:30You know, I've genuinely never had a massage before.
23:33Oh, seriously.
23:34Hm?
23:35You must have.
23:36Yeah.
23:37You and your lovely lady need to live a little.
23:40As you keep telling me.
23:45Go on then.
23:46Enlighten me.
23:47Massage king.
23:49That's simple.
23:50Just be clear if they're being too rough.
23:53More too soft.
23:54Then just lie back.
23:56Drift off.
24:00Oh, and, uh, get ready to activate the naked granny card.
24:03If the, uh, the masseuse is ridiculously hot.
24:07What?
24:08Well, you don't want any embarrassing arousal situations
24:10if you're facing upwards.
24:11So, think of the least arousing thing you can muster,
24:15such as your granny naked.
24:16Oh, come on.
24:18Yeah.
24:19Hi, guys.
24:20I'm Mel.
24:21This is Siobhan.
24:22So, you down for the full body massage today?
24:24Is that all right?
24:25Yeah.
24:26Okay.
24:27Looks like you're going to need the full granny activation.
24:29Come on.
24:37I can't believe this is a freebie.
24:39I'm so glad that we could do this.
24:43That's my way of saying thank you.
24:45For what?
24:46For livening up a very boring cul-de-sac.
24:49Me?
24:50You're the one livening things up.
24:51I feel very boring.
24:53I feel very boring.
24:54Ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:57Right, come on.
24:59This...this set up that you've got with Dani.
25:02I'm fascinated.
25:05I've got so many questions.
25:07What do you want to know?
25:10Do you get jealous when he's with another woman?
25:17No.
25:18No, it's an act of trust.
25:22We have very open, honest conversations and we discuss the rules.
25:28I find it really liberating.
25:31I know that he trusts me and I trust him.
25:35That's amazing. Wow.
25:37So, if, if, if we wanted, if you wanted to try it yourself, with us, yeah.
26:05Okay. Well, I think the first thing I would ask is why.
26:14Why you think you might like to?
26:18Yes.
26:20I just, it sounds really fun and exciting and, well, forbidden.
26:29Hmm.
26:31Yeah.
26:34What about Pete, though? I get the impression it might not be his thing.
26:40Have we spoken about it?
26:42Huh? Mm-hmm.
26:43To be honest, I actually think it could be what we need.
26:53Hmm.
26:55Oh, here they are.
26:59How was it? How was the massage?
27:01Oh, my God.
27:02It's amazing.
27:04What?
27:04No way.
27:07How many times have I told you to get one?
27:09I'm a new man.
27:11I'm all about the relaxation.
27:13Absolutely nothing to do with the insane hotness of the massage.
27:17Oh.
27:18Oh, I see.
27:21Well.
27:21Oh, my goodness.
27:45Okay.
27:47Alan?
28:02Alan?
28:06What's all that?
28:08Did you not even notice the engineer?
28:11Well, I've been caught up with something.
28:13Yeah, but it's done.
28:15I can come back upstairs.
28:17Right, well, um, that's wonderful news, Jean.
28:24Really.
28:25Well, I felt like we've got something to celebrate.
28:27I've done you something nice.
28:30Thought afterwards maybe we could go upstairs together.
28:36Well, that sounds very lovely.
28:37It's just, um, I'm still working.
28:41I've just got to pop out and see a client.
28:44Do you remember when we used to live together
28:45before we were married and your mother was furious
28:48because we were living in sin?
28:51And every day before you went to work
28:53you used to leave me a little note
28:55somewhere different in the house
28:56that would say,
28:58say, I love you or I miss you.
29:02Can't wait to see you.
29:05I found one of those notes the other day in a book.
29:10It said, you're the only one for me.
29:15I thought you'd be happy for us.
29:16You know, the chance to be able to share a bed together again.
29:22I am.
29:24I really am, Jean.
29:25Look,
29:27I've just got to pop out.
29:29I won't be long.
29:30I'll be back soon.
29:31You had no intention of telling me
29:40you invited the neighbors, did you?
29:42I am sure that I told you.
29:45Hmm.
29:46Becca Whitwell.
29:48You
29:48are a bad girl.
29:51I know, I know.
29:52I'm a fucking nightmare.
29:53Oh, there he is.
30:00Mm-hmm.
30:01Ready for action.
30:06Why don't we
30:07save it for later
30:10with our friends?
30:15Maybe we told you this before.
30:18I think it's extremely risky.
30:21Our rule is always...
30:22Yeah, but I got a good feeling.
30:24It feels different.
30:26Come on, let's just
30:28mix things up a little.
30:31Are you making assumptions about what they want?
30:33Mm-mm.
30:34No, she just explicitly told me
30:36that they're both up for it.
30:38Well, she actually said that.
30:39Mm-hmm.
30:41I don't know about it.
30:43No.
30:44I know how much you want her.
30:50The rules are there because...
30:52I don't know.
30:53Fuck the rules.
30:55Come on, we're strong enough.
30:56Let's show our friends the ropes.
31:01Where's that wild side?
31:03Mm.
31:05Mm.
31:06Okay.
31:06Mm.
31:07I want her.
31:09I really want her.
31:10Mm.
31:11Do you want him?
31:12Mm-hmm.
31:12I like the way he looks at me
31:13when he's trying so hard
31:15not to look at me.
31:16So innocent.
31:16You know I love to corrupt the innocent.
31:19Mm.
31:22We said no friends.
31:25Mm.
31:27But...
31:28Mm.
31:30Mm.
31:31I could get used to this.
31:38Are you having fun?
31:41Of course.
31:44But?
31:46It's all a bit weird.
31:47Oh, come off it, P.E.
31:49In what way?
31:51I don't know.
31:52Yes, you do.
31:53I know exactly what you're thinking.
31:54You might as well just say it.
31:55Okay.
31:57Do you think we've been...
31:58lured here to be corrupted?
32:00LAUGHTER
32:01I think we're both adults.
32:05And I think we can take care of ourselves.
32:08Mm.
32:08Nice way to avoid answering the question.
32:15What if something did happen?
32:20What are you saying?
32:21I'm just asking.
32:23Becca's hot.
32:24You haven't got a pulse if you don't think that.
32:26Well...
32:27Yeah, duh.
32:29Of course she is.
32:32I think she likes you.
32:36Don't think I haven't noticed the way you look at Danny.
32:38Do you find that threatening?
32:42Or arouse him?
32:46As for the record, I think it'd be pretty hot.
32:53What are we even talking about?
32:54This is totally insane.
32:56Hmm.
32:56Alan?
32:57Oh, I think they're away for the weekend.
32:58Oh, I think they're away for the weekend.
32:59Oh, I think they're away for the weekend.
32:59Oh, I'm so cute.
32:59Oh, I think they're away for the weekend.
33:22They went with that nice couple from number 49.
33:29Are they a musician?
33:40Yes.
33:40No.
33:41Yes.
33:41No.
33:42Yes.
33:44Yes.
33:45You have to know.
33:46Okay.
33:47Am I alive?
33:48No.
33:49You got a drink.
33:50Yeah.
33:53Oh, is it David Bowie?
33:55No.
33:56No, drink.
33:59Oh, is it Prince?
34:02Is it Prince?
34:02No.
34:04You're going to be wasted.
34:05Before I get this.
34:06You already are.
34:09Oh, shh.
34:11I'll get it.
34:12Try it.
34:13Hang on, I'll get the window.
34:14Here you go.
34:14It's not better, Barry.
34:18Someone get it.
34:19Turn off the music.
34:25Everything okay, sir?
34:26Yeah, fine, fine, yeah, yeah, my wife lit a candle, but it's out.
34:30Yes, sorry, really sorry.
34:32Can we just remind guests, it's a strictly no-smoking establishment.
34:35Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely, yeah.
34:38Good evening, sir.
34:38Yeah, yeah.
34:41Whoops.
34:43Who even was I?
34:45Oh, my God.
34:45Seriously, who?
34:46Really?
34:48George Michael.
34:49I like George Michael as well.
35:23Come here.
35:53Come here.
36:23Come here.
36:53Come here.
37:23Why don't I go first, then?
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