Skip to playerSkip to main contentSkip to footer
  • yesterday
Too Much Season 1 Episode 2
Transcript
00:00Dear Wendy Jones, London was meant to be different.
00:10I was supposed to be off having intercourse with a handsome stranger in a chic members
00:14club, not setting fire to my life again.
00:17Only this time it's literal.
00:19It's literal fire.
00:20And what happened to you?
00:22Oh, I had an accident.
00:25I'm not maimed, but I am a bit crispy.
00:30Apparently, I can leave my COO.
00:32That stands for country of origin, something you probably don't get because you're dumb.
00:35But I cannot leave my own chaos.
00:46Sarnay?
00:47No, thank you.
00:48No, thank you, nurse on the Sarnay.
00:50I don't need a Sarnay.
00:50I need actual pain medication, like Dilaudin or ketamine or even Demerol at this point.
00:55Just give me an epidural.
00:57I don't care.
00:57Well, you're, um, you do some paracetamol if you're in pain now.
01:00If I'm in pain now, I've been in pain for 24 hours.
01:04I mean, I know my face is stunning and untouched, but I have a horrible burn under my dress.
01:08Do you care?
01:09You have such a nice face, but you're a really, really bad nurse sister.
01:13I'm not kidding.
01:14I mean, you're giving me pills I could get at a bodega.
01:16I can't give you anything else.
01:17Well, then we'll find ourselves at a standstill.
01:21Oh, but if you come visit me at Angel's Aesthetica in Marlebone, right, on a Monday or a Wednesday,
01:27I do injections there, do, like, Botox fillers.
01:29I mean, my speciality is a lip flip, and we prescribe Valiums, too.
01:35I will take the sandwich.
01:39Enjoy your Sarnay.
01:41Oh, my gosh.
01:47Come on.
01:48Let's get out of here.
01:49Oh, my God.
01:49How did you get in here after?
01:51She's not allowed in here.
01:52Dog's on an on grotto.
01:53Let's go.
01:54What are you doing?
01:55I can't go.
01:56I'm an injured person in an injured place where you take care of injured people, and I have an IV.
02:02Close your eyes.
02:03Close your eyes.
02:04Close your eyes.
02:05Okay.
02:06Ow!
02:06Let's go.
02:07I've got your shoes.
02:08Okay.
02:08One second.
02:09Stop making so much fucking noise.
02:10Okay.
02:11We don't need those.
02:11Okay.
02:12All right, fine.
02:12No, I don't know.
02:16I feel like I need to stand out or something.
02:19No, no.
02:21Oh, you can check.
02:23Congratulations.
02:25Oh, sorry, dude.
02:27Sorry.
02:27Oh, oh, oh.
02:28Oh, God.
02:30It's like...
02:31It's like I'm going to put in the sandwich.
02:34Sorry!
02:36I didn't sign anything.
02:37Are the police going to come after me?
02:38National Health Service's queen.
02:41Oh.
02:41Do you know what that is?
02:43We all got a proper email about it during COVID.
02:45It's quite a big deal here.
02:47Are you driving with me or what?
02:49Oh, fuck.
02:51You don't have to be so aggressive to me about it.
02:54It's a simple mistake.
02:55Cold?
02:57Oh.
02:58Oh, my God.
02:59Fuck.
03:00Oh, fuck.
03:01Sorry.
03:01Sorry.
03:02Let me get this out of the way.
03:03Oh, wow.
03:04There's a lot of...
03:05Sorry, dog.
03:06There's a bit ashy in here.
03:07Stuff going on.
03:08There's a lot of cans down there.
03:11Thirsty.
03:11Sorry.
03:12Don't worry about that noise.
03:13That's just, I think, the battery's running out or something.
03:16Should we be driving this car?
03:18It's like...
03:19Been in my car for ages.
03:22Okay.
03:22I guess we're not buckling up.
03:24Wow.
03:25Smoking near a burn victim.
03:26That's really bold of you.
03:27I mean, being a burn victim's pretty retro.
03:31Okay.
03:35You know, it's funny, because you set yourself on fire,
03:40and I want to set this car on fire.
03:42What?
03:43How?
03:45It's just like a big night.
03:46It's not actually an interesting sign.
03:49Just for the record, I didn't light myself on fire.
03:52Fire lit me on fire, so...
03:55Okay.
03:55I'm so sorry that he's smoking.
03:59You hate this, though.
04:01Fucking hell.
04:01All right.
04:02Fuck you.
04:03Fuck you.
04:03It's gone.
04:04She hates it.
04:06I can't believe that I trusted a guy I met at a bar with my princess.
04:11We didn't meet at a bar.
04:13We met at a pub.
04:14Why?
04:15We met at a pub?
04:16You want us going, governor?
04:18Yeah, right.
04:18So that is, just so you know,
04:20the most annoying genre of American humour.
04:22Just like saying what we've said back to us,
04:24but in a way that he stands as void.
04:26You're not charmed by me?
04:28That is a really needy question.
04:30I'm not needy!
04:31It's a needy question.
04:32I'm not.
04:33That's a needy question.
04:34You're needy.
04:34I don't need anything.
04:35I'm a chill little girl.
04:36I'm normal chill.
04:38I'm independent.
04:38I don't need any validation from you.
04:40I'm not.
04:49I want you to tea.
04:51Thanks.
04:52I love night tea.
04:54I would normally try to hide this look from you, you know?
04:57But, fuck it.
04:58This is who I am.
05:00I wear a pioneer nightgown.
05:01If I was a superhero, this would be my costume.
05:03What would your name be, though, or, like, what would your superpower be?
05:07I guess the name Pioneer Woman and the power Eroding Boundaries.
05:12Nice.
05:14Oh, fuck. It's already 5 a.m. I have to get up in a couple hours for work.
05:19You hungry, by the way?
05:22Do you want one of these?
05:23What is that?
05:24Jaffa cake.
05:26You don't know what a jaffa cake is?
05:28It's basically like a melange of chocolate and orange on the top,
05:31and then on the bottom. It's like, well...
05:35Actually, there was a bit of an outcry about the name of them
05:39because, basically, they tax biscuits, but they don't tax cakes.
05:44So, basically, the jaffa cake people had to go to court
05:48to, like, prove that they're cakes
05:50because they do sort of seem like biscuits.
05:53Like, they come in a sleeve.
05:55Full trivia.
05:56Yeah, just a bit of a Felix fact.
05:58I actually really like trivia.
06:00It makes me feel sort of...
06:02..calm, but also...
06:04..kind of weirdly powerful.
06:06Hmm.
06:12Why did you come back?
06:17Er...
06:19Dunno.
06:21I'm gonna take off my big dress.
06:33I'm gonna take off my big dress.
06:52You have, like, a lot of layers on it.
06:53It looks like you're going snowboarding or something.
06:55No, it's fine.
06:56So why are you wearing it?
06:57If it was my dog.
06:58Oh.
06:59Okay.
07:00If it was my dog.
07:01Oh.
07:02Okay.
07:11Mm-hmm.
07:12I am painting, okay?
07:14Mm-hmm.
07:15Uh, let's find out.
07:16Okay.
07:17Uh, uh.
07:18Oh, let's find out.
07:19Okay.
07:20Uh.
07:21Oh.
07:22Uh.
07:23Uh.
07:25Uh.
07:26Uh.
07:27Uh.
07:28Uh.
07:29Uh.
07:30Uh.
07:31Uh.
07:32Uh.
07:33Uh.
07:34Uh.
07:35Uh.
07:36Uh.
07:37Uh.
07:38Uh.
07:39It doesn't hurt, like I'm not pushing on the burn best now.
07:58No.
07:59So you'd get better if I, like, come on for more this side.
08:02You just have to stop talking.
08:03I just want to be distracted, okay?
08:05Okay.
08:06You're, like, acting like you're on a talk show.
08:08Well, that's a lot of eye contact.
08:23What?
08:24You don't like eye contact?
08:25No, I mean, I don't hate it.
08:26It's just, I don't know, maybe more of a third date thing in this country.
08:31How would an English girl do it?
08:34Yeah.
08:40This is how I steal your soul.
08:44You have to look at me.
08:49I've never had sex before.
08:50Fuck you.
08:51This is my first time.
08:52Fuck you.
08:53You look really different to how you did yesterday.
09:07How so?
09:08I don't know.
09:09Like, manager of a bank or something?
09:12A bank manager?
09:14Yeah, but in a good way.
09:16I have a job.
09:17I can't just wear whatever I want.
09:19I can't, like, wear a tutu or something.
09:21Well, neither can I.
09:23You have to wear shoes in most places these days, don't you?
09:26I mean, what am I supposed to wear?
09:27Like, a big, big T-shirt like you?
09:29Hey, I like this T-shirt.
09:30It's cozy.
09:31It just sort of makes my head look small.
09:33Have you noticed?
09:34It has, like, a tiny head effect.
09:36Yeah, I love the tiny head effect.
09:37It's just so hot.
09:38It looks like it's on a stick.
09:39It's making me wet.
09:40I'm going to slip out of my business suit.
09:42Um, so do you think you're going to go, or...?
09:49Yeah, at some point.
09:51Okay.
09:52Good to know.
09:53Make yourself comfortable.
09:55Should I see you again, or...?
09:58I mean, I think it would be kind of weird
10:00if you spent all day in my house
10:01and then I didn't see you again.
10:03One hour.
10:04Or, like, four hours, maybe.
10:06Okay, I'll get out of your hair, then.
10:08What is your job, by the way?
10:10I'm a stripper.
10:11I was on a plane with the wine
10:13You can call me Whitley
10:14I go to hell, man
10:16Listen, I'm the baddest in the school
10:17The baddest in the country
10:18What the fuck are you?
10:19Excuse me, honey
10:20But nobody's in my lane
10:21When you was in New York
10:22You was fuckin' a Yankee
10:23I was fuckin' with bass
10:25I was pitchin' to Frankie
10:26These bitches so cranky
10:27Ridin' my hanky
10:28My mommy, I'm cold
10:30Gimme my black
10:31So, we got this.
10:33It's ours
10:35When we say Pippin Partners' Christmas advert
10:38What we're really talking about
10:40Is a moment in the year
10:42One single moment
10:43When the culture comes together
10:45You see, this is not some
10:47Posh, woke, John Lewis bullshit
10:50This is populist and pure
10:52That's why we're so excited to have Rita Ora
10:56My Albanian Duchess
10:59The thing I love about Rita as Santa
11:02Is we're subverting expectation
11:04While playing into it totally
11:06She is exactly what Santa is not
11:08And yet
11:09We still have to make it nice
11:10And feminist
11:11Um, uh, Josie
11:12Yeah, you can handle that
11:13Can't you?
11:14You know about that stuff
11:15Sure
11:16Yeah, I'll relish that opportunity
11:17Yeah, I want you to get
11:18Santa McCartney
11:19On the calendar for this week
11:21She's expressed an interest
11:22In collaborating on the, uh
11:25Santa Bikini
11:26Santa Bikini
11:28I am screaming
11:30Um
11:31Oh, uh, and of course
11:34Welcome to
11:35Jessica
11:36Jessica
11:37A new line producer
11:38All the way from New York
11:40Yeah, I mean, it's such an honor
11:42I feel like I'm going to be a part of
11:44Yeah, all very well
11:44Santa
11:45Get prepared a little something
11:46Uh, I trust that, uh
11:49You're settling in
11:50Of course, if you need anything at all
11:51Just ask
11:52Well, not me
11:53But, yeah, someone
11:54I'm Josie
11:55It's nice to meet you
11:56Nice to meet you
11:57Nice hat
11:58It is so good to see you
12:01We worked together in the New York office
12:03Um, you were the creative director
12:05On the Converse Avril Lavigne campaign
12:08Yeah, you know, um
12:10I've been here almost a year
12:12And honestly, it's so hard for me
12:15To remember my whole life
12:16Sorry
12:17It's not about you
12:18It's about me
12:19It's about America
12:20You get it
12:20Kim's expat social media
12:22Has massively taken off
12:24It's crazy
12:25You've got to follow
12:26At Font Voyage
12:27I'm boss, by the way
12:29I started out here as Kim's assistant
12:30He is still, in fact, my assistant
12:32It's been really hard not to just get swept up into ideating lately
12:35Especially since I published my experimental PDF novel to much acclaim
12:39Seriously, sales have gone fucking insane
12:42I was able to buy a Balenciaga fanny pack with the proceeds
12:45Which he lost at a Raven Dalston
12:47I didn't lose it
12:48I gifted it to that cost of Anthruple
12:50And it was Vauxhall
12:51Anyway
12:52Oh my god
12:56Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god
12:58Did you see that?
12:59He's obsessed with me
12:59It's crazy
13:00He's like
13:00Married to a woman
13:02And he's got BCE
13:03Seriously, big, closeted energy
13:06Meanwhile, Kim wants to lick out his assistant
13:08I'm calling HR
13:10I'm calling HR right back on you, honey
13:12How queer are you?
13:13Oh, no, not really gay
13:15I mean, I love gay people
13:17And everything that's maybe one day it will be
13:20But I'm actually seeing someone here in London
13:23This really, like, cool guy
13:25He's this indie musician
13:27That I met at a pub
13:29Really tall guy
13:31Wow
13:31An indie musician who plays at pubs
13:34For a tuppence
13:35Can you hit one of those?
13:35She don't like her eggs all runny
13:39She thinks crossing her legs is funny
13:43She looks down and knows that money
13:46She gets it
13:47I just encourage everyone to
14:12Make a list of everything they want to experience
14:15Before we're living in a fucking dystopia
14:17Hug a polar bear
14:19Kiss a butterfly
14:21As much as I'd like to help Belinda
14:24Locate a butterfly's mouth
14:26We are here for a purpose
14:27To discuss an admissions protest
14:29That can actually make an impact
14:31Okay
14:32Excuse me
14:33What about
14:34Felix?
14:36Felix?
14:37Mm-hmm
14:37What's up?
14:40Felix
14:40My lust for Belinda is sickening
14:43Her body is like a tanned dolphin
14:46Arcing out of the water
14:46I feel really dirty about it
14:48But, um
14:49She's, like, 20 years old
14:50In fact, she's literally 20 years old
14:52As if you don't shack plenty of 20 years old
14:54I'm a decade younger than you, mate
14:56Once you're more than 10 years older
14:57I've got some news for you
14:58We are all daddy
15:00Why are you doing this again?
15:03They eat your food
15:04They fuck up your furniture
15:05Someone's taking the door off my bedroom
15:07I do it because
15:08I want to build a better world
15:09For the children
15:09That I'm not ready to have yet
15:11And may never want
15:12Listen
15:12Do I want to get laid
15:14After the years
15:15Of frigid hell
15:16My ex-wife put me through
15:17Before ultimately leaving
15:19To then go and live on a barge
15:21Yes
15:21Are you going to ask me how I am?
15:24How are you, Felix?
15:25If I tell you what's on my mind
15:26Are you going to be nice about it
15:27Or do you think
15:28You're going to be a dick about it?
15:29Oh, well, that depends on what you tell me
15:30I think I met someone
15:34Well
15:37And
15:39Well, you always think you've met someone
15:41I think it might be different this time
15:44Since
15:46The last one
15:48Just stop being a dick about it
15:50I'm not being a dick
15:51I'm protecting
15:52I'm looking
15:53Hey
15:58What you doing?
16:00Oh, um
16:01Just comparing prices on two sound stages
16:03Of course
16:03Mmm, fun
16:05I'm making a playlist
16:06For my friend
16:07She just got dumped
16:08By Cruz Beckham
16:09Which is pretty much
16:09The lowest thing
16:10That's ever happened to anyone
16:11Do you want to hear?
16:12Um, oh
16:12You probably don't want my take
16:14Me and my ex-wife
16:14Said I had horrible taste in music
16:16It's not your fault
16:17It's not your fault I ruined everything
16:19And it's not your fault I can't be what you need
16:23Baby
16:24Angels like you can fly down here with me
16:29I'm everything they said I would be trying
16:30I'm everything they said I would need
16:33What?
16:36It's nothing
16:37I just
16:37It's not real music
16:39It's manufactured bullshit
16:41Come on
16:42You're too smart to fall for that
16:43I'm not falling for anything
16:46She's on a different level
16:47I mean
16:48She is commentary
16:49On the manufactured pop star
16:51She's been commenting on it
16:53Since her Disney days
16:54Don't make me feel stupid for loving things
17:01Oh, sad
17:03But what about this new guy you're seeing?
17:05Do we like him?
17:06Can we trust him?
17:07Is he for real?
17:08Or is he like
17:08A trauma bonder, gaslighter, narcissist
17:11Tender swindler?
17:13Oh, uh
17:14He's
17:15Nice
17:16He's just that kind of guy
17:17He's really kind
17:19How long have you known him?
17:20Like two days
17:21Like two days
17:22She's known him two days
17:24A lot of life can happen in two days
17:26Then it's two weeks
17:28Then it's two years
17:30You live a life full of love
17:33And then one day
17:35He says
17:37He wants a baby
17:38And you say
17:39I'm not sure
17:40Then he meets a barista
17:43In Silver Lake
17:44And she gets pregnant
17:45And
17:46This kind of thing can happen
17:48Even if someone who looks like me
17:50Um, sorry
17:52Apologies
17:52Excuse me
17:53Oh, no, no, no
17:54No, no, carry on
17:55Uh
17:56I encourage feelings
17:58Good, because I have a few
17:59I had to break up with my ex a while ago
18:02He did not have the emotional intelligence necessary
18:05To deal with dating someone
18:07Whose love language is being a bitch in a fun way
18:09Listen, what we're saying is
18:13Don't get too comfortable too quickly, right?
18:16Stay vigilant
18:17Seriously
18:18Me and Kim are going out later
18:19It's actually international outfit of the day, eh?
18:21It's my favorite holiday
18:23Come with
18:24There'll be fun people that I met on the Looking for Friends setting on Raya
18:27Mm-hmm
18:28An artisanal e-cigarette designer
18:29The guy who supplies cobalt to Cartier
18:32This ripped footballer we know
18:33Who's, like, obsessed
18:35Sexually obsessed
18:36With intellectual women
18:37So, like, don't set your life on fire for a rando you met on the street
18:40Fuck a different rando
18:41Thanks, guys
18:43That makes me feel amazing
18:44Yeah
18:45I want to stop the chaos, Wendy
18:47And when I trust my own instincts
18:49Chaos always follows
18:51I mean, these people must know better than me
18:53Everyone knows better than me
18:55It's coming your way, mate
18:56Watch out
18:56Oh, all right, yeah, okay
18:57The Great Wall of Peckham
18:58Sorry
19:02Yeah, you haven't felt like this before
19:04Not since the folk singer
19:05Or the, uh, corset designer
19:08Or the Ukrainian refugee influencer
19:10They all feel so different
19:11And then inevitably it's too real
19:13And you're scared to end it
19:15So you stay with them for six months
19:16And get a second girlfriend
19:17Hey, never a second girlfriend
19:19Yeah, but what about Linnea or Nadia?
19:20Have you broken up with them?
19:22Linnea, uh, left the pub in a huff
19:24Because, uh, she wanted to go to a restaurant
19:26With proper cloth napkins or something
19:28Fair enough
19:28Nadia, I think, is on holiday with her gran
19:30All right
19:31But she hasn't texted me more than, like
19:33I don't know
19:34Once or twice a day
19:35Naughty boy
19:37No pub for you
19:38You know what you have to do
19:39If you really think this is so different
19:40All right, fine
19:42Fine
19:43I'll do that
19:45Hi
19:58Sorry to drop by
19:59I just wanted to say
20:01Oh, so you come here for your punishment
20:03I don't
20:04I know
20:04I know you're game, mister
20:09Act like you don't give a shit
20:11Try and pull me closer
20:13Do you, though?
20:14Because I've been trying to say
20:15That my circumstances have changed
20:17That I'm sort of trying to
20:18That's really tight
20:18Hey, okay
20:19I'm trying to change with them
20:21Things don't feel like they've changed
20:25You've got a big erect penis
20:29Yep
20:30You're obsessed with me
20:32And that makes you angry
20:35You're like
20:35Wow, she's everything I thought I never deserved
20:40So you run
20:41And you act poorly
20:43Just to spit in the face of a blessing
20:45Well
20:45What the fuck?
20:48Do you just spit on my chin?
20:50Oh
20:51Leah, I think I might have met someone else
20:54Yeah
20:54That's perfect
20:56No, as in, like, Leah?
20:58No, no
20:58Um, yeah, it's getting better
21:00Thank you for your support
21:01It's all good
21:02Word needs more kindness
21:04And, you know
21:05Whenever you did it on purpose
21:06I don't care
21:07But you still deserve empathies
21:08And that's why I'm here
21:09Wait, I didn't do it on purpose
21:10How come as soon as an intense woman meets a flame
21:13People yell, witch?
21:14I'm actually just, um, heading out, so
21:16Yeah?
21:18Mm-hmm
21:18Bit of, uh, romance
21:19What's, what's her name?
21:22Um, his name is football player
21:24He's a football player
21:25Um, but it's never gonna work out
21:27I mean, I have the muscle tone of a newborn, so
21:29Oh, listen
21:30Don't be nervous
21:32Do not be nervous
21:33Listen to me
21:34Wags have curves
21:36And you've got a BBA
21:37Big, beautiful arse
21:39So, just relax
21:41And, uh, actually, I can teach you some English slang
21:44Okay, I have to
21:45Yeah, you can use it
21:45Use it on your day
21:46Really, really impressive
21:47Um
21:49Glosser
21:51Do you know that one?
21:53Sure
21:53One of them
21:54Yeah, that's helpful
21:57Thank you
21:57Get your leg over
21:58It's having sex
21:59Cartagine
22:00Never heard of that
22:01So that's what George Michael went to jail for
22:03But this was before he went
22:04And drove his car into a Snappy Snaps
22:06In, in Hempstead
22:07Okay, do you have all the things that you came with?
22:11Do you know what companies?
22:13Let's get going
22:14Let's get out of here
22:15Okay
22:15It's really fancy
22:17She needs a lip
22:18Does she know that?
22:19She needs a lip, like now
22:20Like right now
22:21I don't have any lipsticks
22:21You look like a cartoon secretary
22:23What's going on with you?
22:24Thank you
22:25Open, open
22:25Is that padded?
22:26No, that's weirder
22:27Take off your tights
22:28Take off the tights
22:29Can I approach the consent to approach
22:31Top, top, top
22:31In the
22:32I'm gonna take it from the guy
22:33Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi
22:54Hi, hi, hi, hi
22:55Hi
22:56Pavel, this is Jessica
22:58Hi
22:59Nice to meet you
23:01Nice to meet you too
23:02I'm Pavel
23:04Okay
23:04I play for Leighton Orient
23:07But my passion project is the
23:11Is the line of denim I'm working on for Puhu Man
23:14But shh
23:15I won't tell
23:16So what are you all about?
23:20Well, first of all
23:21Congratulations on your accomplishments
23:23A line of denim
23:24What?
23:26Hey, I know you're nervous to be around someone so structurally attractive
23:29But he can sense sarcasm
23:31That does translate
23:32So cool it, okay?
23:34I'm kidding, that's awesome
23:35Yeah
23:36Football
23:37What the hell?
23:38Is that hard?
23:39I don't know much about that
23:40Is it hard?
23:41Yeah, it's hard
23:42I kick the ball
23:44I kick the ball and I can pay for my ex's vent every month
23:46Even though she's living with my, um, what's the word?
23:49Um, cousin?
23:50Damn, that's ice cold
23:51Yeah
23:52Totally
23:53My ex doesn't drive
23:55He has spatial awareness issues
23:57But, um, it doesn't matter
23:59Who cares?
24:00I'm not thinking about him
24:01I'm thinking about you
24:03Who cares?
24:06Get to know you over this amazing dinner
24:08All right then
24:10So
24:11Stop
24:13Hey
24:14You're funny, no that?
24:16Really?
24:17What did I say that was funny?
24:18Yeah, you, you make funny faces
24:21Hey, who am I?
24:24Perfect
24:24Yeah, something like that
24:26I love your intonations
24:27Really?
24:28Yeah, like how you're saying that
24:30Thank you
24:31What did she say?
24:32She said she likes me
24:33Can't wait to have anal sex with you
24:37Really cool
24:39I'm kidding, kidding
24:41It'd be crazy if we had anal sex on the first night that we met
24:45You can't say the anal's crazy
24:47I've never done it before
24:48It doesn't matter
24:48Not that I would never, but I just
24:51So it's gross thing
24:53It's gross
24:54I don't think it's gross
24:55I just think I should, you know, take a class or something first
24:58What is happening now?
25:03Oh, you think that's funny?
25:05You think that's funny?
25:06It's not that kind of laughing
25:07It's not funny
25:08It's not fucking funny, you pathetic baby man
25:11Okay
25:12Yeah
25:17You don't like me
25:19Oh?
25:20You don't respect me
25:22So why
25:23Why have you been hanging around?
25:26Hey
25:27I'm not dumb, okay?
25:33I know you don't really like me
25:35No one likes me
25:37That's not true
25:38I bet your mum likes you
25:40Like she probably loves you
25:42I fucking hate this plume
25:46You're a nice guy, okay
25:51But next time you date someone
25:54And you realise that they're not for you
25:56Don't pretend
25:58And slowly back out the door
26:00Because I can feel you going
26:02Um
26:08Could you please untie my feet
26:13The feet bits
26:14Sorry
26:15Come here
26:23Come here
26:26Now
26:28I'm sorry
26:36Okay
26:36I'm sorry
26:40That was like all of
26:42It was all really like super hot
26:45And sexy
26:46I just
26:47Really?
26:49Yeah
26:49Like so
26:50Mad impressive
26:52Like you're so
26:52Like just in it
26:55And
26:55Really tried
26:59Hi Jason
27:01You're right
27:02My parents aren't proud
27:03But that's because
27:04Like 16% of the American population
27:07They are addicts
27:09But
27:09My grandma's super proud
27:11Because I just bought her a house
27:12Oh
27:13Also
27:14Say hi to your dad
27:15Because
27:16We've been fucking
27:17And I'm your step mommy now
27:18Here's the thing Wendy
27:23I used to be afraid
27:25That the crisis was coming for me
27:26And now
27:27I'm realizing
27:28What if I am the crisis
27:29And
27:31You know
27:32If I just toned it down
27:33Or
27:33If I just speak when spoken to
27:36Or just behave in general
27:38Then maybe I could keep it at bay
27:40Jessica?
27:43Uh
27:43One
27:45Hi
27:47One second
27:48One second
27:50Hey
27:52Hi
27:52What's up?
27:54What were you talking to here or something?
27:55You're like an M. Night Shyamalan movie in there
27:58Are you good?
27:59Um
27:59Yeah
27:59No
28:00It's not what it looks like
28:01I just make these little videos on my phone
28:03It's technically social media videos
28:05But my account is private
28:07So
28:07It's just for me
28:08Just a way to express myself
28:10You know
28:10Let it loose
28:11Just a way for me to let loose
28:12Dear Wendy Jones
28:14Today would have been
28:15Seven of my seventh anniversary
28:17I imagined myself encircled in roses
28:20In a luxury hotel in the Caribbean
28:22But instead
28:23I'm like the goth boy in American Beauty
28:25Filming all the garbage I so deeply relate to
28:28So while I did it
28:31Thank you
28:31That actually means a lot to me
28:33Who is Wendy?
28:36Fiction?
28:36Nonfiction?
28:38She's your sister and she died or something
28:40I'm
28:40No, no, no
28:41My sister's alive
28:42She's just like really severely depressed
28:44Wendy is my ex's fiancée
28:47Your ex-fiancée?
28:48No, no
28:49My ex's fiancée
28:51The woman that he left me for
28:52And the worst part is that
28:54I can't even hate her
28:56Because she pulled herself out of foster care
28:58By the bootstraps
28:59And she has really unique
29:01Awesome style
29:02She's really
29:03Beautiful woman
29:04She's a beautiful woman
29:05It's as simple as that
29:07You can hate her
29:08You don't need a zoom
29:11No, you can definitely hate her
29:13And you talk to her
29:15And you like that
29:17It feels nice
29:18Talking to the woman that your ex is digging down
29:20I'm genuinely asking
29:22Because for me
29:23The maths
29:25They don't
29:26Math
29:27Yeah, I mean in my head
29:28She's talking back
29:29She's saying things back sometimes
29:31Yeah, always
29:32All the time
29:33She's always like
29:33You know, you seem
29:35Intense
29:36And
29:37And really worked up
29:39But this shows me
29:40You're doing
29:41An excellent job
29:43Of keeping it on lock in public
29:44Um
29:45I'm just trying to do what I can
29:46To survive
29:47Ah
29:48I know the feeling
29:50I'll see you out there
29:52Yeah
29:52Kim
29:53I literally don't know
29:54Which way is up anymore
29:56Sorry, I'm such a fucking mess
29:59Um
30:00You're not a mess
30:01You're
30:02You're a work in progress
30:04It's simple
30:06You just listen to yourself
30:07Yeah?
30:08Thank you, Kim
30:09I would hug you
30:10But you're almost out the door
30:11I'll just hug you in my mind
30:12Hugging back
30:13Uh-oh
30:17Here you are
30:18What did I miss?
30:21Hmm
30:21You've gone for a long time
30:23You were pooping
30:25No
30:27I wasn't pooping
30:28Um
30:29I was doing
30:30It doesn't matter
30:31It doesn't matter
30:32Are you
30:33Okay
30:34Mocking me
30:36Because you're a messy one
30:39Aren't you?
30:43Me?
30:44Yeah
30:44I look at you
30:45At your lips
30:46Sorry, I mean
30:50I just, um
30:51I hate that word
30:52Like a dust
30:54That's risen in popularity
30:55In the last five years
30:56I mean
30:57You know
30:58Everyone being like
30:59I'm a mess
31:00This shit's messy
31:01Women online being like
31:02I'm a mess
31:04I choose chaos
31:04But
31:06Would a man ever be told
31:07That he's a mess?
31:08No
31:09Like you, Pavel
31:10I mean
31:11A quick bathroom Google
31:12Showed me that you have a wife
31:13And two-year-old twins
31:14And yet here you are
31:16Hoping to fuck one of us
31:18Is it me?
31:19We don't know
31:20Yeah
31:20Actually
31:22My twins are three years old
31:24Okay
31:25That's fucking messy
31:26And yet you get a freebie
31:28Right?
31:29Because why?
31:30Because you
31:30Never lit yourself on fire
31:32Something that I also
31:34Haven't done, obviously
31:35So yeah
31:36I guess by the world's standards
31:38I'm messy
31:38But actually
31:39I'm a work in progress
31:41Because I know who I am
31:42And I know what I want
31:43And I'm listening to myself
31:46Right, Kim?
31:49I didn't mean for you
31:50To start immediately
31:50But
31:51Go off
31:52She goes hard in the paint
31:54And you know what?
31:54The guy that I've been seeing
31:55For the last 46 hours
31:57Whoa
31:57He doesn't care
31:58He doesn't care
31:59And if that makes him
32:01A love-bombing gaslighter
32:03Then okay
32:03I guess
32:04Then I guess I
32:05I'm dating a love-bomber
32:07I mean, I guess
32:09Yeah, I guess I choose Chaos
32:11Or actually, you know what?
32:13Chaos chose me
32:14Because I'm fucking irresistible
32:16She's amazing
32:20Actually, yeah
32:22She's amazing
32:23And I guess
32:42And I guess I'm fine
32:43I don't think she likes wearing that.
33:02How do you know that?
33:04Just the vibe.
33:06I think she's a naturist.
33:09What's a naturist like, David Attenborough?
33:11No, a naturist is someone who gets naked for sport.
33:15Hi, by the way.
33:15Hi.
33:16Sorry, that was weird.
33:17Um, I think you mean a nudist.
33:20Like my dad's friend Skip, who used to get naked and jump in the pool and freak us all out.
33:24Uh, no, that sounds to me like Skip was just a full-on pervert.
33:28Yeah.
33:29Well, women need to be careful of perverts and Tinder swindlers and love bombers.
33:34Oh, yeah, what is that?
33:36Someone explained love bombing to me the other day, but I didn't really get it.
33:39Isn't it just like being really nice to someone?
33:42Oh, my God.
33:44I do not...
33:44I can't do this with you.
33:46I can't do the emotional labor of explaining this.
33:49Are you a love bomber?
33:50Are you going to, like, buy me a piano?
33:52Uh, no.
33:54I did make you a mix, though.
33:56Is that loud?
33:59Do you want to listen to it?
34:00I don't, like, know anything about music.
34:10I like girly bullshit, so don't expect me to, like, tell you what I think about it, okay?
34:15All you have to do is listen to it.
34:17Okay.
34:18I'm going to give you the controls.
34:21Is that comfortable?
34:21Mm-hmm.
34:23And if you don't like a song, just skip it, all right?
34:26All right.
34:26All the sinking's found
34:43Quarter-tying me up
34:50In the noticed posts
34:56And then cold in my mouth
35:02There is a feeling, my love
35:08Buried in my brow
35:13I have no reason to run
35:19I see no reason
35:24Are you with me now?
35:28Are you with me now?
35:40It's not impossible
35:53It's not impossible
35:53It's not impossible
35:59It's not impossible
36:01It's not impossible
36:05It's not impossible
36:06It's not impossible
36:07Baby
36:08To feel a shadow
36:11In time
36:12There is a feeling I love
36:18Buried in my brow
36:24Buried in my brow
36:26I have no reason
36:28I have no reason
36:29To run
36:30I see no reason
36:34Are you with me now?
36:37Are you with me now?
36:39I have no reason
36:49Are you with me now?
36:52I have no reason
36:56I have no reason
37:30You
38:00You
38:30You
39:00You
39:30You