- 7/12/2025
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:30Transcription by CastingWords
01:00Transcription by CastingWords
01:30His plan to kill Beatrix Hasp
01:32I'm sorry, but there's just, uh, there's no way that he could know I'm headed to Beatrix's
01:46Bet you are, aren't you?
01:50So, he did. The iguana knows you are the only person who can lead him to have
02:00Both of them. Thank you.
02:12They're numbered here.
02:13Come in. You're a smart cookie, Charlie.
02:15But you don't understand what you're up against.
02:18He can look like anybody. I'm texting you a video. Right now.
02:24Each by the wedding venue. You see what I'm talking about?
02:29Hey, look, do you have to explain it to me?
02:34It's the iguana's prosthetics. It's his disguise.
02:39Huh?
02:39The top left is his nose.
02:45I'm sorry, but what kind of a psycho would recognize
02:48The iguana can look like anyone.
02:53Okay, and his
02:54She dies. I cannot protect you. FBI, CIA, NSA
03:03You know I'm not lying. Tell me. Do you know where Hasp is?
03:09Almost there.
03:10I'm sorry to hear about the divorce. Jim told me what you're going through.
03:40Agent Luca. Fucking Clark.
03:48Okay.
03:49Okay.
03:59Okay.
04:00Man.
04:00Okay.
04:00Okay.
04:00Okay.
04:01Okay.
04:01Okay.
04:02Okay.
04:03Okay.
04:04Okay.
04:05Okay.
04:06Okay.
04:07Okay.
04:10I mean, look, it's right, yeah, ah, this, I mean, if this iguana guy is fall, Alex, look,
04:33I want to protect you, okay, but if there's a truck stop coming up, and we go with a new
04:39strategy, come on, Jesus, any one of these guys could be him, let's just get our food,
04:59get the fuck out of here, any sacrifice, I don't know, maybe why, whatever looks good,
05:08actually, no, just free-dried taffy, and then Almond Joy, and some of that jerky, but not the sweet kind,
05:13you know, the good stuff, just get whatever looks good, okay, man, fucking later,
05:17coffee, oh, hi, uh, two please, uh, some, I'm kidding, uh, there's a guy in the parking lot,
05:46oh, yeah, very quick on the fries, suspicious, and so any ideas cooking, yeah, all right,
05:56look, then, you and me, well, we go square this with Beatrix, once she's out of danger,
06:05that's right, that's right, and you already outran a bunch of mob guys before, right,
06:09wait, how hard can it be?
06:13sweet, is that how you got there?
06:21yeah, oh, shit, it's just the same hand, it's the same position where they want to have cut,
06:29it's the right height,
06:30oh, and they were beating him up, oh, yes, and the cops were there,
06:52as long as the highway behind the stairs,
06:54okay, grab the map, grab the map, baby, yes, we are going to be there, we are clearing your
07:00I asked you here because I believe the iguana is on his way to kill Beatrix Hasp right now,
07:08I need you each to release your three code words so I can locate Hasp and
07:12hearing nothing on the wires, agency source of location, you've offered a far-fetched theory
07:18to reveal where Hasp is, you argue because there's somebody, the iguana, an oyster-shocking
07:25drifter will take him, the iguana is hoping that you do exactly what you're doing, you can lead
07:31him there yourself, I think we can all, is not to reveal her location to anyone, between our agencies
07:37is so that no one agency or agent can work out where she is, it's the only way to keep this witness
07:44safe, and we must keep this witness safe, agent Clark, but I'm saying I believe the location
07:49has already been compromised, by this girl, yes, you have to understand, Charlie Kale
07:58has an uncanny talent for figuring out things that nobody else can, she's a force of nature,
08:06crime-solving genius, she has the detailed detection of a hawk, the logical
08:14meticulousness of Sherlock Holmes, and the stubborn persistence of an English bulldog at lunchtime,
08:20she can out-crack the NSA, outsmart the CIA, and she could frankly run the FBI better than
08:26anyone in this room, including me, so underestimate her at your peril.
08:31I think we're done here.
08:40I think we're done here.
08:44Here we go, here we go.
08:58So I'm gonna go in first, alright, uh, give her a little primer, you know, before we
09:14put you in the firing squad.
09:15Hmm.
09:16Okay.
09:17Ah, fuck.
09:18I got a bad feeling.
09:19Jesus.
09:20Why am I so nervous?
09:21You got any gum in there?
09:35Give that breath long, there's some freshness.
09:48What big red.
09:50Alright, listen to me.
09:52Uh, anything goes wrong, anything feels weird, you just slam on that horn, okay?
09:58Alright.
09:59I'll be back in a second.
10:02I got you.
10:28Alex!
10:29Alex.
10:44Shit, shit, shit.
10:46Shit!
10:47Shit.
10:48Shit.
10:54Shit.
10:56Jesus, Jesus.
11:00Fuck.
11:18Yeah, I got it.
11:26Agent.
11:28Shit.
11:32Andrew?
11:34Shit.
11:38Jesus, Charlie.
11:48You skink.
11:52I know who you are.
11:57Fucking with you.
12:00Couldn't resist.
12:04Couldn't you be dying of anaphylaxis caused by a fatal cinnamon allergy?
12:08I'm severely, like, deathly allergic to cinnamon.
12:12All true.
12:14You know what's funny?
12:16The amount of lies I've told you.
12:18The amount of mundane, made-up details I've had to keep track of.
12:22It has been bonkers.
12:24I never expected I'd get taken down by a stick of big red, though.
12:28I always wondered if you were out there.
12:32And now I found you.
12:35The one person in the world who can lie to me.
12:38Technically, I found you.
12:40Okay, so, uh...
12:42How do you do it?
12:44You're like a trick or something?
12:46Like you, uh...
12:48Only use certain words, so technically you're not lying?
12:51No.
12:52I've lied to you.
12:53Over and over.
12:56Cool.
12:57So you're the world's biggest sociopath.
12:59Standing a face.
13:00Yeah, here you go!
13:02No.
13:03Jesus!
13:04Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:05Okay.
13:06Uh, sudden hot flash.
13:07You mind?
13:08I'm of an age.
13:09Oh, fucking Christ.
13:10Really, Alex.
13:11Man.
13:12And all for this, right?
13:13All to get to Beatrix Hasp.
13:14I mean, Jesus, lady.
13:15Wasn't there an easier way?
13:17Alex and all for this right all to get to Beatrix Harris I mean Jesus lady wasn't there an easier
13:28way I'm doing the math here you know I'm it seems like a lot of work hey you invented a whole other
13:37person like is there anything that you didn't lie to me about yes there was one thing I wasn't lying
13:46at the wedding when we first met I really was at an old time though my entire adult life I've been
13:56deceiving and killing some of the most powerful people in the world it was always so easy I've
14:05seduced and murdered movie stars I've killed kings and queens dukes viscounts barons countesses
14:16when the Vatican wanted to put out a contract on the sitting Pope they called me you killed a Pope
14:24no always good to have a line cheap fuckers wouldn't make my rate the last few years though
14:33a feeling had started to settle over me I was taking out some CEO in a panic room 300 feet
14:42under the Alaskan tundra
14:44it took months of research and planning I traveled there on foot a hundred miles so that I could not
14:59be detected I had to wrestle a polar bear to the death nobody knows you're here
15:05and when it was finally done I realized what that happened to me and when it was finally done I realized
15:32I realized what that feeling was
15:37I was bored there just was no challenge anymore and without that I was dead inside
15:51two weeks before we met I hit an inflection point
16:00luckily at that very moment my agent called
16:14I'm sorry you have an agent talk about world's biggest sociopath
16:23I know you're out of the game Iggy but hear me out I've got the perfect job a real noisy comeback
16:30Beatrix hasp she's about to testify against the entire east coast mob and there is a lot of money on the table to get her gone
16:38a fucking mob hit I told you no more boring jobs
16:44wait listen nobody will take it they say it can't be done the FBI's got this broad in some crazy unbreakable protection program she's been invisible since the day they arrested her
16:57I'm hanging up hold on here it is there's only one person left in the world who has any connection to Beatrix hasp and get this honey
17:07it's impossible to lie to her everyone can be lied to Cedric not this girl
17:13Charlie Kale is a bona fide human lie detector infallible every time let me send you a file
17:22I haven't been caught in a lie since I was five years old
17:44and that was only because I didn't know you could kill witnesses
17:47well you actually can't
17:51when I realized my kryptonite might exist
17:56I couldn't wait to meet you
17:58so I designed a test
18:01the coffee
18:02one black coffee and
18:04what's the most disgusting beverage you have here
18:07butterscotch pumpkin mochaccino
18:10it's like drinking a candle
18:12it's perfect
18:13do you want this coffee
18:16this was the moment
18:18could I lie to you
18:20it's just a regular black coffee they accidentally made me two
18:24it required total suppression of my involuntary responses
18:28heart rate, adrenaline, body temperature, saliva production, oxygen concentration
18:34I even had to control my sinuses
18:36not coffee
18:38not controlling the presentational effects but choking off the roots of my humanity
18:43they messed it up
18:45I'm so sorry
18:47I took everything I had
18:49and I said it was black coffee
18:50I lied that's awful
18:52it was exhilarating
18:53it's fine you're trying to do something nice and you didn't lie
18:57I went home
19:02hooked up in a hydration IV
19:04and slept for 26 hours
19:07I'd never been happier
19:09lying to you
19:11I felt like an Olympic athlete
19:12pushing beyond what's physically possible
19:15I'd never struggled before
19:17not once
19:18lying to you was like great sex
19:21I assume
19:23I don't really do physical pleasure
19:25you're all
19:27you know you're so unfortunate
19:28and it never got easier
19:31every single time I lied to you
19:34and I lied to you a lot
19:36it was the same Herculean act
19:38and even then I could tell
19:40I was just barely
19:41getting it over the net
19:43one slight flip up
19:45in concentration
19:46and you'd detect me
19:48I see
19:52but lying to you was just the start
19:55to find my way to Hasp
19:59I had to earn your complete trust
20:01that's when I got my lucky break
20:04the murder at the Jennifer Jam
20:08oh jackpot
20:09I couldn't have planned it better
20:11I became your kooky little Watson
20:14and uh
20:16yeah you lapped it up
20:17after that
20:19cracking the Charlie code was easy
20:21I'm sorry
20:22what's the Charlie code?
20:24it's not complicated
20:25you're a compulsive do-gooder
20:28simple as that
20:29you're a sucker
20:31for the world's victims
20:32and losers
20:33and you know what
20:36I think uh
20:37I think I uh
20:39I think I just like people
20:41do you?
20:44sure
20:44all they do is lie to you
20:47all the time
20:48you ask me a question
20:51and I lie
20:53who'd you just have a conversation with?
20:55nobody
20:56Charlie you've been talking to nobody
20:59your whole life
21:00I saw how much it meant to you
21:02not being lied to for once
21:05you loved it
21:07fine
21:08I get it
21:10then what?
21:12and then I just had to get into some hot water
21:15that only Beatrix Hasp could pull me out of
21:18once I uncovered Hasp's adopted son
21:21everything fell into place
21:24first
21:25first
21:25I hired the world's second greatest assassin
21:28total schnuck
21:30then
21:31I got him to frame me
21:32stick with the plan
21:34find a patsy to take the fall
21:35and we'll double your feet out
21:37compensate for the added risk
21:38he was room temperature butter in my hands
21:44please
21:54oh
21:58oh
21:59oh
22:01oh
22:03oh
22:05oh
22:06oh
22:07oh
22:09oh
22:10oh
22:11oh
22:12oh
22:13oh
22:14oh
22:25and that
22:26leads us to this moment here
22:29I'm so sorry
22:30I
22:31what happened at the truck stop?
22:35I had to uh
22:36improvise that one
22:42hey
22:43want an oyster?
22:44oyster
22:45please
22:46oh
22:47oh
22:49oh
22:50oh
22:51oh
22:52oh
22:53oh
22:54oh
22:55oh
22:56this commercial impression still stands
22:57I mean
22:58yes
22:59that for a mob hit
23:00I think
23:01do you get paid by the hour or something?
23:03all because of you, Charlie Kayla
23:08the greatest challenge of my career
23:11you gave me a reason to live
23:14wow
23:15well here's some honesty for you
23:18you even now here hearing you say those words it still just sends a little zing through my heart
23:30i guess i i can't suppress that root of my humanity stuff which is uh it's kind of
23:37up but it's also kind of a relief in a way yeah it means i'll never be you
23:44i really wish i didn't have to kill you ah yeah i figured that might be coming hey
23:55won't killing me mean that you got nobody left to light your fire
24:00you just got to go back to that meaningless thrum of nihilistic dread
24:07probably
24:07what did you do oh me oh i uh i lit your fire
24:29clever girl
24:37we have a location for hasp greenville indiana contact local pd tell them to send everyone
24:45they have to that address right now you want an extraction team for hasp
24:49nope tell them to bring firepower suspect is armed and dangerous beatrix hasp is likely dead i'm on my
24:54one of the way
25:12federal agents are en route and will intercept do not engage
25:16so
25:30what now
25:46We're supposed to headquarters.
25:54Okay, we can take out the car.
25:56I'm not putting our hostage in danger.
25:58There's no time.
26:02Fucking Christ, we need to act.
26:03Stand by.
26:04The hostage has a plan.
26:06I know how that sounds, but just wait.
26:12Is there a plan?
26:14Maybe cut a deal?
26:15Maybe you could negotiate down a minimum security?
26:18They're not catching me, Charlie.
26:21Explain to me how that interacts with reality.
26:31I got an order straight from the top to take out the car.
26:33We need to buy her more time.
26:35Get me Agent Darville on the line.
26:36Agent Darville can't help.
26:37Then get me the director.
26:39No, Luca.
26:41The top, top.
26:45You haven't been paying attention.
26:57I fooled the unfoolable Charlie Gale.
27:00The closest thing I'll ever have to a nemesis.
27:03So what's left?
27:09This is the end of the road.
27:10You're wrong.
27:32Okay?
27:32He can't lie to me.
27:37See, you've never done it when I'm trying to catch you.
27:45And I don't think you can.
27:47They just turned onto a dirt road towards Grand Canyon Canyon.
28:10She's trying to lose us.
28:11This dirt road dead ends at the Overlord.
28:25Are you paying attention now?
28:27Huh?
28:27Two truths and a lie.
28:29Fair fight.
28:30You win, I'll have an equal in the world.
28:32Sherlock to my Moriarty.
28:34And that'll be fun.
28:35That's the reason for us to live.
28:37And if you win, ready?
28:38Ready?
28:41When I was a kid, I had a dog named Puddles.
28:47I'm double-jointed.
28:49I'm gonna drive us off this cliff, no matter who wins this game.
28:56True.
29:01True.
29:06Bullshit.
29:07You win.
29:15Ah!
29:16Oh!
29:16Take me through the shit yön!
29:18Oh, my God.
29:48Trailer for sale or rent, rooms to let 50 cents. No phone, no pool, no pets. I ain't got no cigarettes. I'm a man of means by no means. King of the road.
30:18King of the road.
30:48Help!
30:55Shit!
31:08My God!
31:10Oh my God!
31:12Oh my God!
31:14Oh my God!
31:16Christ! Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, shit. Oh, oh, God. Oh, shit. Not bad for two people under 5'5", huh?
31:30I'm 5'7". I'll allow it. Oh, my God. Oh, fuck. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry about Beatrix and you were right.
31:44Catching up real quick here. Your shuck buddy was the iguana and she could lie to you?
31:51Long story short, she could until she couldn't. Doesn't matter now.
31:57Agent Clark, any sign of the suspect?
31:59Becca. I don't see anyone up here.
32:04That bullshit. Oh, sorry about that. Reflex.
32:08Charlie, it's a stroke of luck. I found you first. They're sweeping the canyon.
32:14You can get mad at this, right? Like, you know, I mean, you could just tell them. I mean, I was trying to help, right?
32:23You just aided and abetted a serial killer. You got a federal witness killed. You revealed the location of a WITSEC safehouse.
32:28If I keep listing the federal crimes you've committed, they'll be here.
32:32Okay. Put it that way. Eesh.
32:35You're officially wanted by the FBI.
32:41Makes sense.
32:43Yeah.
32:47Two miles south, there's a service road that'll take you back to the highway.
32:54You let me go.
32:57We'll call.
32:59Call it a head start.
33:00Oh, thank you.
33:07Thanks.
33:10Yeah.
33:12This wind.
33:14Yeah.
33:14You look really cold.
33:15No, it's okay. I'll be okay. It's a service road.
33:19Two miles south.
33:21Yeah.
33:22I got it.
33:24It's cold.
33:25Take this.
33:30Thanks, Luca.
33:35Okay.
33:36Next time, Charlie,
33:38I will arrest you.
33:43I mean, I have to at this point.
33:46Okay.
33:47Okay, go now.
33:49No, scurry on.
33:51Yeah, go.
33:52Okay.
33:53Go a little faster, please.
33:55Okay, I'm running, Luca.
33:56Yeah.
34:04Is Clark any sign of the suspects?
34:07That's it.
34:08Negative.
34:09Nothing up here.
34:09He understands you're awful with his gun.
34:19Crying like a fire.
34:21Hey, can I get a ride?
34:22Can I get a ride?
34:23What?
34:24Fuck no, that dog's not with me.
34:28Where'd you come from?
34:29You know?
34:31You're fucking on my whole shit.
34:34You're screaming with my ride.
34:35All right, there you go.
34:37Walk, you go.
34:40Oh, shit.
34:41Oh, shit.
34:42Oh, shit.
34:43Oh, shit.
34:46You're gonna get hurt.
34:48Here.
34:50Jesus, you're shitting me.
34:55Hey!
34:56How's it going?
35:01Fuck yes.
35:02Hey, thank you for stopping.
35:09So, where are you headed?
35:11Oh, uh, I guess that's a deceptively profound question.
35:16Well, I'm going to Wichita.
35:20Works for me.
35:23You might have found a scam.
35:24Oh, well, hello.
35:26Ah, I'm Charlie, by the way.
35:36Thanks.
35:37You're right.
35:37You let me and it will not swallow
35:41The bag of one who's rappin' at your door
35:49Standing in the clothes that you once wore
35:57Strike another match, let's go start anew
36:05Cause it's all over now
36:11Baby blue
36:13Baby blue
36:13It's all over now
36:19Baby blue
36:21By the way you walk
36:31With my soul
36:33хлwn
36:34who's rappin' at your door
36:34And this corner
36:35While there was on the show
36:36Like a saying
36:36This way
36:37By the way
36:37ets you
36:38Even middle
36:39You might Soap
36:40Let me
36:40Or
36:41Alright
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