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Good Girls Gone Wild #ReelShort [ New Drama 2025 ]
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Thank you for listening.
00:00:30Oh, Dad.
00:00:35Hello?
00:00:36Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:39I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:43So I was thinking maybe we could all take a trip to...
00:00:47I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:52I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:00:55I'm going to lose my virginity to him.
00:00:57You know, I want to surprise him.
00:00:59What?
00:01:00But you can't.
00:01:01I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:04Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:06You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:09This is bad.
00:01:10You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:12She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:21Come on, Lexi.
00:01:22So girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:37Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:42But this is the big 1-8.
00:01:45I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:01:49But this has to be newer and more special.
00:01:52So what's something we've never done before?
00:01:55Mushrooms?
00:01:56No, not like that.
00:01:57Like something nice.
00:01:59Like maybe a trip.
00:02:01Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:02No.
00:02:03Sorry, Sue.
00:02:06I have a date.
00:02:07Oh, so do I.
00:02:10Sorry, Sue.
00:02:11Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:12We'll figure it out.
00:02:13Oh, flowers, are these from you?
00:02:26Yeah, sure.
00:02:28Here you go.
00:02:30No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:33I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:36I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:02:41Oh, Jake.
00:02:43Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:49Uh, no, Jake, not yet.
00:02:50When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:02:53The best night of my life.
00:02:54It will be, I promise.
00:02:57It'll always be amazing.
00:02:58With you and me.
00:03:00Together.
00:03:08Jake, no.
00:03:09I have to go.
00:03:10I have to work on my art project.
00:03:11You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective, but I guess I should have
00:03:16taken more math.
00:03:17Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:21This Saturday?
00:03:22Of course.
00:03:27Thanks.
00:03:29Okay.
00:03:30Bye.
00:03:30Nothing wrong with me.
00:03:40Nothing wrong with me.
00:03:40Nothing.
00:03:41Oh, baby.
00:03:42You're so hot.
00:03:43I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:45Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:46Yeah.
00:03:46What was your name again?
00:03:47Rod.
00:03:48Sex God.
00:03:49Okay.
00:03:50Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:03:58You're right, I bet.
00:04:05Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:09Oh, no.
00:04:10Does not compute.
00:04:12Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:14Oh, huh.
00:04:18Hi.
00:04:21When did you get home?
00:04:22So, is it true?
00:04:23Yes, it is.
00:04:25It's just, it's the right time, and Jake's the right man.
00:04:29I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy, and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:36So, I just think it's the right time.
00:04:38Lexi, tell her, losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.
00:04:44On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:46Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday, or maybe even, like, our 29th, 8th, maybe.
00:04:54Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:01I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:08But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:12We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:16Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:19It's not Jake.
00:05:21It's the male ideal.
00:05:23Like, a Greek god, or Sue's dad.
00:05:27Right.
00:05:29Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:31I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:05:32I'm not really an artist.
00:05:33Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:35The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day.
00:05:39And I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:41I'm waiting for a sign.
00:05:43And then I'll know it's right.
00:05:44Look, I can go either way.
00:05:47I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:05:51I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:05:54Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:05:58But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:02You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:09Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:12To church, to pray for you.
00:06:14I want to be first in line.
00:06:17I'm getting this.
00:06:18Yeah, me too.
00:06:19Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:30It has been four days since my last confession.
00:06:32I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:06:34Mm-hmm.
00:06:37Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but...
00:06:40It's about sex.
00:06:42Mm-hmm.
00:06:45I mean, not me.
00:06:46I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:48Aw.
00:06:50I've never even seen a guy's...
00:06:52Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:06:55But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:06:59But there was nothing there.
00:07:03Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:05My best friends.
00:07:07They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:09Okay.
00:07:11Third base.
00:07:12What?
00:07:13No.
00:07:14Like, sex.
00:07:15Like, intercourse.
00:07:17With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:19I mean, they really need us intervention, if you know what I mean.
00:07:22All the way.
00:07:23Go all the way.
00:07:25Woody.
00:07:25Woody.
00:07:26What?
00:07:28Ah!
00:07:30How could you do so?
00:07:32You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:36What?
00:07:37Yes.
00:07:43Yes.
00:07:45Run.
00:07:45Run.
00:07:46Home route.
00:07:48Ah.
00:07:49Damn it.
00:07:51Oh, fucking Yankees.
00:07:54Sorry.
00:07:55Sorry.
00:07:55Sorry.
00:08:07Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:08:20Would you have a little consideration?
00:08:21I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:24Jeez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:27I have an announcement to make.
00:08:29I want to do it.
00:08:31Do you hear me?
00:08:32I want to do it.
00:08:34This weekend.
00:08:35On our birthday.
00:08:37Do what?
00:08:39It.
00:08:40Screw.
00:08:41You know, screwing, boning, making beasts with two backs.
00:08:44You know, shagging.
00:08:46Fucking.
00:08:48You do.
00:08:50But what about all your religious stuff?
00:08:53And what about your sign from heaven?
00:08:55Oh, I got a sign.
00:08:56At church.
00:08:57Really?
00:08:59Well, okay, great.
00:09:02We're all in then.
00:09:03So we'll have a big pool party, and we'll do it there.
00:09:07Right?
00:09:08Right.
00:09:11I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:20Hey, Frank.
00:09:22Hi, Sue.
00:09:24Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:27I don't know.
00:09:27Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:29Yeah.
00:09:29He's blind.
00:09:30Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:37Wait, wait, bye.
00:09:39Hey.
00:09:40Um, I was wondering.
00:09:41We're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:44It's for our birthday.
00:09:45Do you want to come?
00:09:46Do you think he can see at my shore?
00:09:47Sure.
00:09:47Sure.
00:09:48Sure.
00:09:48Sure.
00:09:48Sure.
00:09:49Sure.
00:09:49Sure.
00:09:50Sure.
00:09:50Sure.
00:09:51Sure.
00:09:51Sure.
00:09:52Sure.
00:09:52Sure.
00:09:53Sure.
00:09:53Sure.
00:09:54Sure.
00:09:54Sure.
00:09:55Sure.
00:09:55Sure.
00:09:56Sure.
00:09:56Sure.
00:09:57Sure.
00:09:57Sure.
00:09:58Sure.
00:09:58Well, the house looks done.
00:10:01Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:03We finally turn 18 and finally lose our virginity.
00:10:07Well, we better get our beady sleep because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:11So, OK, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with, Jake, and I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:10:16But, Sue, who are you going to pick to pop your chair?
00:10:19It's easy.
00:10:20I've known for the past six years.
00:10:21Ever since catechism.
00:10:22What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:23I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:24Yeah.
00:10:25My soulmate.
00:10:26Chris?
00:10:27Sue, you might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:29I mean, what?
00:10:30No, Chris is perfect.
00:10:32He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:10:42Plus, his name is Chris.
00:10:44It's a sign.
00:10:46Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major name.
00:10:49Chris is perfect.
00:10:50He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:10:53Plus, his name's Chris.
00:10:54It's a sign.
00:10:56Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:11:01What?
00:11:02He does not.
00:11:03Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:05He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:11:07With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:11Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:14Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:16Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:19See you in the morning.
00:11:27I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:28I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:30You're so sweet.
00:11:32That's it.
00:11:32I didn't expect it to happen.
00:11:34You're so perfect.
00:12:04You're so perfect.
00:12:34You knew that's what I look like.
00:12:41Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:12:53Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:09Oh my gosh, they're coming.
00:13:31Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:13:38Ew, why?
00:13:40It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:41It's going to be really sexy.
00:13:42I'm going to script.
00:13:44You're going to die of asphyxiation.
00:13:46He's going to be really sexy.
00:13:48It's stupid.
00:13:49Just screw him.
00:13:50That's what he wants.
00:13:51That's what all guys want.
00:13:52Who hurt you as a child?
00:13:54Oh, Christ.
00:13:55Can I wrap your mouth, too?
00:13:57Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:02You're an idiot.
00:14:03A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:14:07Guys, seriously, come on.
00:14:09Hurry up.
00:14:11Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:14:16I love it.
00:14:17You should put that down, though, because it's very fragile.
00:14:22Yeah.
00:14:23Okay.
00:14:24Set it down.
00:14:25Hurry up.
00:14:26Those are your anal beads, right?
00:14:29Yeah.
00:14:30I thought so.
00:14:47I thought so.
00:14:48I thought so.
00:14:49I thought so.
00:14:50I thought so.
00:14:51Whoa!
00:14:52Oh, we're going to have some fun.
00:14:55Oh, Attack of the Wet t-shirts.
00:14:57Nice!
00:14:58Come on, come on, come on.
00:15:02Check, check, check, check, check, check.
00:15:07Happy birthday, Lex.
00:15:10No, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:13That is lip poison to plump your lips, but be careful it stings.
00:15:16And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:15:19Oh, how did you know?
00:15:21I mean, I'm going to use both of these tonight.
00:15:28Buster, such a cutie.
00:15:31Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:33All right, sorry.
00:15:34Are you okay now?
00:15:35Yeah, I'm fine.
00:15:37Okay.
00:15:38See you later.
00:15:39I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:42This is crazy.
00:15:43Jake!
00:15:44Hi.
00:15:45Hey, babe.
00:15:46Happy birthday.
00:15:47Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:15:48What?
00:15:49You want a beer?
00:15:50No.
00:15:51Oh, hon.
00:15:52Come here.
00:15:53I have your present here.
00:15:54I'll give it to you later.
00:15:55The time's right.
00:15:56You didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:01And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:04Hey, Ralph.
00:16:05We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:06We'll bet.
00:16:07All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:11Hey.
00:16:12How you doing?
00:16:13Hey.
00:16:14Hey.
00:16:15Check it out.
00:16:16Check it out.
00:16:17Dare me.
00:16:18Dare me.
00:16:19Hey, bro, we need you to settle this bed over here real quick.
00:16:23A little bit.
00:16:27All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:29Hey.
00:16:30Hey.
00:16:31How you doing?
00:16:32Hey.
00:16:41Check it out!
00:16:43Dare me?
00:16:49Here we go.
00:17:00Oh, dude, look at those.
00:17:02Are those real?
00:17:03Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:04Hey!
00:17:05Ah, dude, move!
00:17:06Come on, lame!
00:17:07Oh, all right.
00:17:08Okay.
00:17:09I'll see you guys later.
00:17:10Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:11Aw, the moves.
00:17:1220 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:17:16Oh, yeah!
00:17:18They're fake anyways.
00:17:19Who cares?
00:17:20Okay!
00:17:23Who cares?
00:17:24Oh, dude, dude!
00:17:26I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:31Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:17:33Here, let me.
00:17:34Joanna, no.
00:17:35Just go enjoy the party.
00:17:37Come on.
00:17:38Open.
00:17:39Hey, do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:43I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:47Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:48I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:49It just, like, disappeared.
00:17:50Are these real?
00:17:51Of course they are.
00:17:52How come I read another book?
00:17:54I don't know.
00:17:55I don't know.
00:17:56Maybe he's gonna be around.
00:17:57Fine.
00:17:58Have you seen Jake?
00:17:59Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:01Maybe upstairs.
00:18:02I don't know.
00:18:03Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.
00:18:04That's probably where he went.
00:18:05Oh, well.
00:18:06Liquid courage?
00:18:07Yeah.
00:18:08Atta girl.
00:18:09Vodka cranberry?
00:18:10It's really simple.
00:18:11I don't know.
00:18:12I don't know.
00:18:13I don't know.
00:18:14Maybe he's gonna be around.
00:18:15Fine.
00:18:16Have you seen Jake?
00:18:17Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:18Maybe upstairs.
00:18:19I don't know.
00:18:20Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.
00:18:21That's probably where he went.
00:18:23Oh, well.
00:18:26Liquid courage?
00:18:27Yeah.
00:18:28Atta girl.
00:18:29Vodka cranberry?
00:18:33It's really simple.
00:18:36Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:38I gotta go meet her.
00:18:40Sue?
00:18:41Are you okay?
00:18:42Sue?
00:18:43Relax.
00:18:44They're just guys.
00:18:46Okay.
00:18:47Nothing to be scared of.
00:18:48Seriously.
00:18:49It's gonna be fine.
00:18:50Is Chris here?
00:18:56Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:18:58No.
00:18:59He does not have gay face.
00:19:01I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:02I'm gonna do it.
00:19:03I'm gonna do it.
00:19:09Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:11No.
00:19:12He does not have gay face.
00:19:14I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:16I'm gonna do it.
00:19:17I'm gonna do this.
00:19:18Good luck.
00:19:19Hey, you can do this.
00:19:23Just act like a slut.
00:19:25Just pretend.
00:19:26You're Lux.
00:19:27Yeah, my favorite chapter is Solomon Gmore.
00:19:40Chris.
00:19:41Hi.
00:19:42Can I talk to you?
00:19:44Uh-huh.
00:19:45Uh-huh.
00:19:46Um, in private?
00:19:48No.
00:19:49Sorry.
00:20:02Hey, Lexi.
00:20:03Hey, Lexi.
00:20:04What?
00:20:05You're so sexy.
00:20:06Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just...
00:20:11I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:14And I really want to...
00:20:17Oh!
00:20:18What are you doing?
00:20:19Is that wrong?
00:20:20Sue!
00:20:21What's gotten into you?
00:20:23Nothing.
00:20:24I'm sorry.
00:20:25I don't know how to do this.
00:20:26Sue.
00:20:28Sue.
00:20:29Sue.
00:20:31I understand these urges.
00:20:35And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:39Really?
00:20:40You do?
00:20:41I do.
00:20:42I really do.
00:20:44I like you too.
00:20:45Really?
00:20:46You do?
00:20:47I do.
00:20:48I really do.
00:20:49It's just...
00:20:51I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:20:56Right.
00:20:57Lexi said you were...
00:20:58Jesus.
00:20:59Oh.
00:21:00Batman.
00:21:01Of course.
00:21:02What did you think?
00:21:03Oh, nothing.
00:21:05So we can still do this then?
00:21:08Oh, Sue.
00:21:10You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins,
00:21:18when I think about him up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth, growing so hot, so sweaty, beneath that hot, hot sun.
00:21:45I just feel such compassion.
00:21:48I think about those things too.
00:21:50So you understand why I can't do this?
00:21:54Not really.
00:21:55I just find it too hard.
00:21:57It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:22:04So...
00:22:05We're gonna go out there, right?
00:22:06Andy, we're gonna totally throw these on.
00:22:07Jake.
00:22:08Hey, Ty.
00:22:09Whoa!
00:22:10Have you seen Jake?
00:22:11Uh, no.
00:22:12No.
00:22:13No.
00:22:14All right.
00:22:15Okay.
00:22:16Okay.
00:22:17All right.
00:22:18Focus.
00:22:19Focus.
00:22:20Focus.
00:22:21Focus.
00:22:22Oh, there he is.
00:22:24Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:22:31How could he?
00:22:32Two?
00:22:33Two?
00:22:34Three?
00:22:35Two?
00:22:36Three?
00:22:37Two?
00:22:38Two?
00:22:39Eight?
00:22:40Eight?
00:22:41One?
00:22:42Two?
00:22:44Two?
00:22:45I'm only a big stick.
00:22:46Three?
00:22:47One?
00:22:48Two?
00:22:49Three?
00:22:50Three?
00:22:51Three?
00:22:52One?
00:22:53Four?
00:22:54One?
00:22:55Three?
00:22:56Two?
00:22:57Four?
00:22:58Oh, they're not a big stick.
00:22:59Sue, what happened? Did you guys do it?
00:23:04Sue!
00:23:05He doesn't want me.
00:23:07Because he's gay.
00:23:08No, he's not. He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:11Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:13The only reason we even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.
00:23:18Look, the only way you're going to find out what kind of man you really want
00:23:22is to know what kind of woman you really are, deep inside.
00:23:27What?
00:23:28Come with me.
00:23:30We're to meet your dark side.
00:23:38Out! Everyone out!
00:23:49Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:23:54I really can't. I really don't think I can do this.
00:24:09I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:14I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:16Sue?
00:24:21Can you see it?
00:24:23Sue?
00:24:27I'm almost... I'm almost there.
00:24:30What?
00:24:31Sue, what happened? What did you see?
00:24:40A raccoon?
00:24:41What?
00:24:43You overshot it. Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:45I can't. I can't. Please don't make me do that again.
00:24:55Okay, fine. Fine. I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:24:59What? You really need an orgasm.
00:25:04Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've never even had it with yourself.
00:25:09This really has to be your first step.
00:25:11Lex, I'm waiting.
00:25:13Coming.
00:25:13Sue, uh, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer. Just find it and use it.
00:25:19Wait, what does a black vibrator look like?
00:25:21It's black. It vibrates.
00:25:25Come on, Rod. Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:29And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:31Hey, cutie! Cutie!
00:25:48Oh!
00:25:49Bullseye!
00:25:50Oh, yeah!
00:25:54Bang. Bang. Bang.
00:25:59Boy, straighten up.
00:26:01Boy, boy.
00:26:04He knows over a hundred commands.
00:26:07I'm sorry. I can't see anything.
00:26:09That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:11What a bitch.
00:26:13Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:26:16Ah!
00:26:17Ah!
00:26:22Ah!
00:26:24Ah!
00:26:29Ah!
00:26:29Ah!
00:26:29Ah!
00:26:29Ah!
00:26:29Ah!
00:26:29Ah!
00:26:30Ah!
00:26:30Ah!
00:26:30Ah!
00:26:30Ah!
00:26:30Ah!
00:26:30Ah!
00:26:31Ah!
00:26:32Ah!
00:26:43Oh, shit!
00:26:48What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:49Ah!
00:26:50Ah!
00:26:52Ah!
00:26:53Ah!
00:27:01Ah!
00:27:01Ah!
00:27:02Ah!
00:27:03Ah!
00:27:07Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:09Lexie, it's Jake.
00:27:12He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:15For sure?
00:27:17I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him,
00:27:19so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:20That's no excuse.
00:27:22He's a dirtbag.
00:27:23How dare he?
00:27:24No, it's awful.
00:27:26I mean, I thought I was going to marry him.
00:27:33It's a text.
00:27:34It's from him.
00:27:35I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:37OK.
00:27:38He's looking for you.
00:27:39He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:42Oh, I can't face him.
00:27:44I have to go.
00:27:44I'm going.
00:27:45No, you can't just leave.
00:27:47Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:27:50I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:27:52He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:27:55Either way, it's bullshit.
00:27:57I see only one option.
00:28:00I'm leaving.
00:28:01Revenge sex.
00:28:02Reve- I mean, what?
00:28:03What does that even mean?
00:28:04It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out,
00:28:07and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:11Revenge sex.
00:28:13Reve- I mean, what?
00:28:14What does that even mean?
00:28:14It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:18But he- I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:28:22He doesn't even care about me.
00:28:23I mean, why would- he's just into other girls.
00:28:25Trust me, he'll care.
00:28:27Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to him.
00:28:30To his ego.
00:28:31To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:28:35Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:38No, I- I couldn't.
00:28:42Plus, I mean, there's- there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:28:46Eric!
00:28:47He's perfect!
00:28:48Eric Hall?
00:28:49Are you kidding?
00:28:51I mean, he wouldn't even be into me.
00:28:53He likes your type.
00:28:53Really?
00:28:54And what type is that?
00:28:56Slutty.
00:28:58Yeah.
00:28:59Trust me, he's amazing.
00:29:00I fooled around with him once.
00:29:01He has this great tongue ring.
00:29:03Oh, no.
00:29:04I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.
00:29:07Okay, then.
00:29:08Fine.
00:29:08We will find someone else.
00:29:10Someone that I haven't fooled around with.
00:29:13Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him?
00:29:18I mean, it's like you're not going to marry the guy.
00:29:21No, I just couldn't do it.
00:29:23Fine.
00:29:24If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:29:28to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage,
00:29:31and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence,
00:29:33and you chose not to do it, go ahead.
00:29:36But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:40I don't know.
00:29:43But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:47I don't know.
00:29:49Trust me.
00:29:50It's going to work.
00:29:56I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:30:00Hi, Cheryl.
00:30:01You look okay enough to chat with her.
00:30:03Oh, no.
00:30:13Hey.
00:30:15Happy birthday.
00:30:19Thanks.
00:30:20Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:42So, happy birthday.
00:30:52Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:30:56But it's actually from us.
00:30:57U.S.
00:30:59America?
00:31:01United States?
00:31:02I know where we live.
00:31:04Right.
00:31:05Of course.
00:31:09I know where we live.
00:31:11Right.
00:31:12Of course.
00:31:17Hey, Jesus, Erica.
00:31:18Are you going to make your move or not?
00:31:20Oh, you want me to move?
00:31:21Yeah, no.
00:31:21I can totally move.
00:31:22I just...
00:31:23No.
00:31:23You're fine.
00:31:24You're fine.
00:31:24You're fine.
00:31:24You're fine.
00:31:26You're fine.
00:31:28You're fine.
00:31:28You're fine.
00:31:29You're fine.
00:31:30You're fine.
00:31:31Jake!
00:31:38So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:31:41Oh.
00:31:42I'm sorry.
00:31:43It?
00:31:44What, um...
00:31:45It.
00:31:46Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:31:52Oh!
00:31:53Oh, you mean, like, uh, right now?
00:31:57I mean, well, yeah.
00:31:59You know, the sooner the better.
00:32:02Yeah, sure.
00:32:03I mean, well, yeah, of course.
00:32:04Um, I just never realized that you...
00:32:06I mean...
00:32:08Whew.
00:32:10Uh...
00:32:11It's just...
00:32:13You're so...
00:32:16You're so beautiful.
00:32:19Okay.
00:32:19Um...
00:32:20Hmm?
00:32:20Uh, no kissing.
00:32:22I mean...
00:32:23Right.
00:32:23Um, of course.
00:32:25Sorry.
00:32:26Sorry.
00:32:27So, um...
00:32:30Do you wanna unwrap me?
00:32:33Oh, wow.
00:32:34Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:32:38Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:41Uh, you're fresh.
00:32:43Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:47Uh, you're fresh.
00:32:49Organic.
00:32:50Yep.
00:32:51So, the wrap.
00:32:52Right.
00:32:53Um...
00:32:54Well, where's the, uh...
00:32:55It's, uh, the end is...
00:32:56The edge is, like, right over here.
00:32:57Oh, oh, yeah.
00:32:58Here it is.
00:32:59I see it.
00:33:00Um, let me just, uh...
00:33:01Ow!
00:33:02Ow!
00:33:03Ow!
00:33:04Ow!
00:33:05Sorry!
00:33:06Sorry!
00:33:07Sorry!
00:33:08I, um...
00:33:09It's...
00:33:10It's okay.
00:33:11Here.
00:33:12Do it again.
00:33:13Sorry.
00:33:14I, uh...
00:33:15I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:33:17You know what?
00:33:18Let me just lay on the bed.
00:33:20Okay.
00:33:25Uh...
00:33:26Let me just see.
00:33:28Oh, here it is.
00:33:29I got it.
00:33:30All right.
00:33:31Just, um, pull it.
00:33:32Let me just...
00:33:33Ah!
00:33:34Oh!
00:33:35Oh, jeez.
00:33:36Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:33:37You okay?
00:33:38Help!
00:33:39Help!
00:33:40Uh...
00:33:41Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:33:42Oh, jeez.
00:33:43Here.
00:33:44Here.
00:33:45Here.
00:33:46Here.
00:33:47Here.
00:33:48Here.
00:33:49Here.
00:33:50Here.
00:33:51Here.
00:33:52Well, that was stupid.
00:33:53Yeah.
00:33:54Ha, ha, ha.
00:33:55Ha.
00:33:56Ha.
00:33:57Ha.
00:33:58Ha.
00:33:59Ha.
00:34:00Ha.
00:34:01Ha.
00:34:02How you doing tonight?
00:34:04I'm good.
00:34:05You having a good time?
00:34:06Yeah?
00:34:07You good?
00:34:08Jake!
00:34:09I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:34:11What?
00:34:12I can't hear you.
00:34:14I didn't have a beer.
00:34:16Chips are so damn salty.
00:34:17Jake!
00:34:18So are you with me?
00:34:19Upstairs.
00:34:20Yeah.
00:34:21Hold on.
00:34:22Take a piss.
00:34:23Too much beer.
00:34:25We're coming out.
00:34:26Down.
00:34:27And there's always always has fun.
00:34:28You're there.
00:34:29Side games.
00:34:30ще vaidyouins now.
00:34:32Oh, man!
00:34:33Come out.
00:34:34Out.
00:34:35You've got two.
00:34:36I don't know it.
00:34:37Out.
00:34:38Oh!
00:34:39Ah!
00:34:40Ah.
00:34:40Ah.
00:34:42Ah.
00:34:43Ah.
00:34:44Ah.
00:34:45Ah.
00:34:52Finally.
00:34:53I, uh, we should get the blinds.
00:34:56Oh, no, no, no.
00:34:57No, no, no.
00:34:58Um, don't worry about it.
00:35:00What?
00:35:01I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:05Oh.
00:35:07Well, OK.
00:35:08OK.
00:35:09OK.
00:35:22Finally.
00:35:23I, uh, we should get the blinds.
00:35:27Oh, no, no, no.
00:35:28No, no, no.
00:35:29Um, don't worry about it.
00:35:30What?
00:35:31I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:36Oh.
00:35:38Well, OK.
00:35:39OK.
00:35:40Hmm.
00:35:41But we should have to be able to see each other.
00:35:42Oh, no, no, no.
00:35:43Oh, no.
00:35:44The only thing we need to do is our συng pareil.
00:35:45If we take a Characciu are out of it, we don't want to make our garage.
00:35:46Oh.
00:35:47Oh, no.
00:35:48Oh.
00:35:49Oh, oh.
00:35:50Oh, oh.
00:35:51Um.
00:35:52Oh, oh.
00:35:53Oh, oh.
00:35:54Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:35:55Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:35:56Oh, oh oh.
00:35:57Oh.
00:35:58Oh, oh.
00:35:59Oh, oh, oh.
00:36:00Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:36:01Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:36:02Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:36:04Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:36:06Oh. oh, oh, oh. oh, oh.
00:36:07What are you doing?
00:36:25Uh, I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:36:33Um, not yet.
00:36:34More foreplay.
00:36:35Huh?
00:36:36Oh.
00:36:37Oh.
00:36:38Oh.
00:36:39Oh.
00:36:40Oh.
00:36:41Oh.
00:36:42Oh.
00:36:43Oh.
00:36:44So good.
00:36:45Oh.
00:36:46Yep.
00:36:47Oh, my God.
00:36:49Jaw.
00:36:50Jaw.
00:36:51Jaw.
00:36:52What?
00:36:53What?
00:36:54What?
00:36:55Lock jaw.
00:36:56Lock jaw.
00:36:57Lock jaw.
00:36:58Is that even a thing?
00:37:00I don't know.
00:37:02Ah.
00:37:03Are you okay?
00:37:07No, no, no.
00:37:08It's, uh, it's fine.
00:37:10I'm just, uh, embarrassed.
00:37:12It's probably TMJ or fracture or swollen.
00:37:18You sure you're okay?
00:37:20Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:37:21Okay, great.
00:37:22Have fun.
00:37:23Oh.
00:37:29Now.
00:37:30Now, let's do it now.
00:37:31No, not yet.
00:37:32Not yet.
00:37:33No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
00:38:03Uh-oh.
00:38:05Oh, hey, Jake.
00:38:08How are you doing?
00:38:10How's it going?
00:38:11Good.
00:38:12Eric?
00:38:13Help.
00:38:14Eric, help me.
00:38:15I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:38:17Excuse me.
00:38:21Cheryl's in here.
00:38:27Sup, bruh?
00:38:29What the fuck is...
00:38:31Hey, wait!
00:38:33Lex, babe, I'm still waiting.
00:38:43Oh, I'm sorry, I can't see. I'm blind.
00:38:47Damn it.
00:38:48I'm gonna save somebody to that bitch.
00:38:51Hey, you!
00:38:53You better stop making fun of the blind,
00:38:55or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:38:57Ow!
00:38:59I'm so sorry!
00:39:00I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:39:02Hey!
00:39:03Hey!
00:39:04Hey!
00:39:05Hey!
00:39:06Hey!
00:39:07Hey!
00:39:08Hey!
00:39:09Hey!
00:39:10Hey!
00:39:11Hey!
00:39:12Hey!
00:39:13Hey!
00:39:14Hey!
00:39:15Hey!
00:39:16Hey!
00:39:17Hey!
00:39:18Hey!
00:39:19Hey!
00:39:20Hey!
00:39:21Hey!
00:39:22Hey!
00:39:23Hey!
00:39:25I know, baby boom!
00:39:26Oh, I can't relax.
00:39:27Oh, man.
00:39:28No more water balloons.
00:39:29Barty's ass!
00:39:30Yeah.
00:39:33What the fuck?
00:39:38This just isn't working.
00:39:39Nothing.
00:39:40What's the big deal about these vibrators anyway?
00:39:43Oh
00:40:13Oh
00:40:18Hey, dude nice shot was it me?
00:40:25Whoa, whoa nice
00:40:32Hey, you found the grenade launcher nice nice
00:40:43Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:58Whoa you are the controller I didn't
00:41:13I'm gonna go
00:41:15Oh
00:41:19Hey Sue
00:41:21What's going on man?
00:41:23It's okay um hey Sue
00:41:35Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:41:37Yeah I just needed to
00:41:39Oh sure
00:41:41Listen Sue
00:41:43I I was rethinking what I said earlier
00:41:46You were?
00:41:48You mean?
00:41:50Yeah
00:41:53So you think we should give it a try?
00:41:57Can we go get a drink?
00:42:01Wow um your toilet's really clogged you
00:42:06Do you know what I gotta go
00:42:08Um happy birthday
00:42:09Happy birthday
00:42:10Uh no Chris no there wasn't
00:42:11I didn't
00:42:12Oh god never mind
00:42:26This was the worst idea ever
00:42:28Never going to have sex
00:42:29Ow
00:42:30Hello a little attention here
00:42:31Oh yeah sorry
00:42:35Max
00:42:37Don't be selfish
00:42:41Don't be selfish
00:42:45Alright sorry
00:42:46Hello? A little attention here.
00:42:53Oh, yeah. Sorry.
00:42:59Lex, don't be selfish.
00:43:02Oh, right. Sorry.
00:43:03Oh, jeez.
00:43:17Who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:43:20Too much fucking multitasking.
00:43:23Screw it.
00:43:31Oh.
00:43:33Oh.
00:43:34Oh.
00:43:35Oh.
00:43:36Oh.
00:43:37Oh.
00:43:39Oh.
00:43:41Oh.
00:43:43Oh.
00:43:44Oh.
00:43:45Oh.
00:43:50Oh.
00:43:51Oh.
00:43:52Oh.
00:43:56Oh.
00:43:58Oh.
00:44:00Oh.
00:44:01Oh, no. That was bad. That was so bad.
00:44:20Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:25I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:27Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:44:33Yes, it does.
00:44:35So, you're JJ?
00:44:37Uh-oh.
00:44:57Hello. Welcome to 1-900 Confess. Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:45:05A nun.
00:45:06Please punch in your credit card number.
00:45:13Please hold.
00:45:14Oh, thank goodness.
00:45:181-900 Confession. How may I be of service?
00:45:21It's been one day since my last confession. I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:26One day?
00:45:28Ow!
00:45:30Is that too long?
00:45:35I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:37Go on.
00:45:39Uh, okay. Well, I've been touching myself inappropriately. Well, actually, I didn't know. A washing machine did.
00:45:46What's her problem?
00:45:47A washing machine touched her.
00:45:51Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:45:54All right, freak. Time's up.
00:45:56What? But what do I do?
00:45:57Just unplug the thing.
00:45:59No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:46:02Well, then be happy. You found the perfect man.
00:46:06I'm serious!
00:46:07Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:46:10I'll tell you this.
00:46:12Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:15No contritions?
00:46:17You broke no covenant with God. It's not in the Bible.
00:46:20So, the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:46:24Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:27Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:46:30Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:33Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:35Huh.
00:46:36God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:38He sure is.
00:46:39Now run along.
00:46:43Wow.
00:46:44How do you know all that?
00:46:46Because I'm a nun.
00:46:47Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:46:49Huh.
00:46:50Accidental masturbation.
00:46:51Who would've thunk?
00:46:52Revenge sex.
00:46:53What a stupid fucking idea.
00:46:54God, I'm getting out of here.
00:46:55Yeah, admit it.
00:46:56I've got no game.
00:46:57I guess I just get everything I guess.
00:46:58I don't feel for it.
00:47:00Fucking douchebag.
00:47:01Damn it.
00:47:02Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:04You go girl.
00:47:05What?
00:47:06What are you doing here?
00:47:07We needed some place private.
00:47:09But hey, listen.
00:47:11Yeah.
00:47:12I don't know if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:13I don't know if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:14I'm trying to get laid on my way.
00:47:15Yeah.
00:47:16I'm trying to get laid on my way.
00:47:17Get laid on my way.
00:47:18I'm filming my video.
00:47:19Yeah.
00:47:20You're all out of here.
00:47:21Oh God, I'm getting out of here.
00:47:26I'm getting out of here.
00:47:27Yeah, admit it.
00:47:29I got no game.
00:47:30So I'm just getting all the way back is so I'm looking forward.
00:47:32We needed some place private.
00:47:35But hey, listen, if you're serious about getting laid.
00:47:37Yeah?
00:47:38If you want someone great, I mean, really, the best ever.
00:47:44No offense.
00:47:46Frank, the blind guy?
00:47:48Really?
00:47:49I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:53I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:47:54It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:47:58It was like we used all our senses.
00:48:00Everything.
00:48:02If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:48:06All right.
00:48:13What about him?
00:48:15Jeremy.
00:48:16Oh, yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:48:18Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:20I didn't know his last name, though.
00:48:23It's Jones.
00:48:24Jeremy Jones.
00:48:25This all makes sense.
00:48:27Excuse me.
00:48:30Jeremy.
00:48:30Jeremy.
00:48:31Hi.
00:48:32Hey.
00:48:33Who's on the phone?
00:48:34Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:36You'll meet her.
00:48:37We'll have to be here in like an hour.
00:48:38Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:48:40Oh, hi.
00:48:54Hey, Frank.
00:48:54Sit.
00:48:55Oh, you meant, you meant the dog.
00:48:58Relax.
00:49:00You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:02You meant the dog.
00:49:05Relax.
00:49:07You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:18Oh, I'm relaxed. I'm fine.
00:49:21Then why are you biting your nail?
00:49:23I'm not.
00:49:26How did you know that?
00:49:30Corner.
00:49:34Sit.
00:49:36Roll over.
00:49:40Oh, you mean me.
00:49:43Roll over.
00:49:47Oh, you mean me.
00:49:49Oh, how do you... how do you want me to...
00:49:52Just lay down.
00:49:54Oh.
00:50:04Oh.
00:50:05I shouldn't even be doing this, but considering it a teachable moment.
00:50:10Okay.
00:50:11Oh.
00:50:13See me with your hands.
00:50:18Alright.
00:50:19Uh...
00:50:20You know, I should really... I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:24Really.
00:50:25Oh.
00:50:26Oh.
00:50:27Oh.
00:50:28Oh.
00:50:29Mmm.
00:50:30Mmm, peanut butter.
00:50:31I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:33Really.
00:50:46Mmm, peanut butter.
00:51:02Frank, Frank.
00:51:03Oh.
00:51:07Oh, Frank.
00:51:32No, ma'am.
00:51:33Dude, give me a chip.
00:51:34My chips, bone boy.
00:51:36Dude, give me a chip, man.
00:51:37My chips.
00:51:38Dude.
00:51:39My chips.
00:51:40Dude, give me a chip.
00:51:41My chips.
00:51:43Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:51:46Sorry.
00:51:54It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:51:57That's all.
00:52:01Come on, let me do this.
00:52:02Go away.
00:52:03I got it.
00:52:04I got it.
00:52:05No, really, please.
00:52:06I want to help.
00:52:07Please.
00:52:09Okay, everybody out.
00:52:11Leave.
00:52:12I have to vacuum.
00:52:26You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:27They're over here.
00:52:29I just, I see some dust over here, so.
00:52:35It's just, there's so much dust on this floor.
00:52:38It's just a dirty floor.
00:52:40It's such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:52:44It's just a dirty floor.
00:52:45Oh, no.
00:52:49Oh.
00:52:51Oh, oh, oh.
00:52:52Oh.
00:52:53Oh.
00:52:55Oh.
00:52:56Oh.
00:52:57Oh.
00:52:58Oh.
00:53:00Oh.
00:53:01Oh.
00:53:02Okay.
00:53:03Oh, yeah.
00:53:04Oh.
00:53:05All right.
00:53:07Oh, yeah.
00:53:08Oh.
00:53:09Think I got all that.
00:53:10Frankie!
00:53:21Oh my, oh.
00:53:22What was that?
00:53:23What?
00:53:24Ow, fucking shit.
00:53:26Man, we gotta smoke.
00:53:27Oh, we can smoke a heat.
00:53:30Stop.
00:53:31Frank, stop teasing Frank.
00:53:34Oh, shit.
00:53:35Sorry, man.
00:53:36We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:53:38Oh, I heard something.
00:53:39Do you want to join us?
00:53:41No, I might.
00:53:41Come on, you gotta do it.
00:53:43Come on.
00:53:44Seriously, guys.
00:53:45What's your dog, man?
00:53:46What's it like being quiet about it?
00:53:48It's tripping.
00:53:52Frank?
00:53:54Frank, are we going to do something soon?
00:53:58Bro, you are too funny.
00:54:02Thanks, man.
00:54:03Oh, this is some good stuff.
00:54:05I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:54:06Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
00:54:09Wait, wait, wait.
00:54:10I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
00:54:15Damn, I really can't remember.
00:54:16This is some good shit.
00:54:17Oh, no, you're the devil.
00:54:25No more.
00:54:26Oh, no, you're the devil.
00:54:38No more.
00:54:42JJ, I'm Jeremy.
00:54:44You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
00:54:48Please.
00:54:49Lex, I can't.
00:54:52I mean, I got a girlfriend.
00:54:54I really like this girl.
00:54:55Fine.
00:54:57It's just so sad because I'm wearing this cupless bra, and I also have on crotchless panties with just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
00:55:09We've got, like, 30 minutes before she gets here.
00:55:17Perfect.
00:55:22Before she gets here.
00:55:23Perfect.
00:55:23Let's do it.
00:55:36Fuck me.
00:55:37Fuck me now.
00:55:41What?
00:55:42What's wrong?
00:55:43I can't.
00:55:44I can't get it in.
00:55:46It's too dry down there.
00:55:48It's like a desert down there.
00:55:49It's sandpaper.
00:55:50It's just, okay, I get the picture.
00:55:53Just try it again.
00:55:56No.
00:55:57Why is this happening?
00:55:59We pulled around before.
00:56:01I was dripping wet.
00:56:02I came, like, four times, remember?
00:56:04Just do what you did then.
00:56:05Go on.
00:56:06I already did my thing.
00:56:07I already tried.
00:56:09What?
00:56:10What is different this time?
00:56:13I don't know.
00:56:14Last time, I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
00:56:20What?
00:56:22You're not JJ?
00:56:24But your name is Jeremy Jones.
00:56:26How can you not be JJ?
00:56:28Who the hell is this JJ?
00:56:31Where are you going?
00:56:33We're not done here.
00:56:34I can still do this.
00:56:35I just need a little bit of foreplay.
00:56:36I can do this.
00:56:38I don't need JJ.
00:56:39I don't need anyone else.
00:56:40We can do this.
00:56:43Go team.
00:56:44What?
00:56:47Just keep going.
00:56:54Shit.
00:57:04Where's Jeremy?
00:57:06Hi.
00:57:06We were just, you know, from here.
00:57:10Hey, babe.
00:57:11Just working out.
00:57:16How could you, you bastard?
00:57:21You might want to...
00:57:22What?
00:57:24What?
00:57:25Mariela!
00:57:31Mariela!
00:57:32You know, those are mine.
00:57:34At least not all of them.
00:57:37What is wrong with you?
00:57:42What is wrong with you?
00:57:44You used to be so pure.
00:57:46Well, no more.
00:57:48That's it.
00:57:49Really, that's the last one.
00:57:50Come on.
00:58:20What is it? What are you doing down here?
00:58:28Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
00:58:32What?
00:58:33Why?
00:58:34Nothing, just this lying guy and his dog and ugh.
00:58:38Honey, it's gonna be okay.
00:58:41No, it's not okay. God. And you know whose fault it is?
00:58:46I'm sorry.
00:58:47Jake's. Jake's fault. That lying, cheating bastard.
00:58:51Yes. He is such a dickwad. You need to confront him.
00:58:55Yeah. Yeah, I need to confront him. I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?
00:59:01Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
00:59:03You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
00:59:06Yeah, a big piece. A big old chunk of my mind. A big piece of it.
00:59:10Yeah. You know, you might wanna... You need to look hot while you break up with him.
00:59:16Yeah, you're right.
00:59:18Why am I wearing a sheet?
00:59:20I know.
00:59:26I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I get shy around beautiful women like you.
00:59:33I got no game.
00:59:41It's not important.
00:59:43Hey, um...
00:59:55Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:57No, no, no. I really need to talk to you.
00:59:59Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...
01:00:01No, no, no, no. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier and I'm just embarrassed and I wanna make it up to you.
01:00:07Eric, really?
01:00:09I don't care. It's fine.
01:00:10No, but I do.
01:00:11I mean, I do. I care.
01:00:15I haven't known how to tell you.
01:00:17Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:00:19But I was wondering or hoping that we could go out sometime.
01:00:26Soon.
01:00:27Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while and it would be nice to go out.
01:00:30Really? Eric, you're shy. You have no game.
01:00:34No, not really.
01:00:38Yeah, no, I can't do this. Sorry.
01:00:44Okay. All right.
01:00:46I, uh...
01:00:48Happy birthday, then.
01:01:00Oh, I'm sorry. I was trying to kiss you.
01:01:11Wow.
01:01:23Here I come, baby. Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:27Oh, Eric, stop. Um, we can't do this.
01:01:32Oh, goddammit. Not again.
01:01:34Oh, no, um...
01:01:35Honey, happy...
01:01:38What the fuck is this?
01:01:39Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:41Okay, guys, don't.
01:01:46Cheryl.
01:01:47Baby.
01:01:48What is this?
01:01:50Aw, gee, Cheryl.
01:01:52You're...
01:01:53I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:01:55Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:58You couldn't find me?
01:02:00What about all those girls' vaginas you were in or your penis getting sucked?
01:02:05Cheryl, honey.
01:02:06No, no.
01:02:07We can work this out.
01:02:08Baby, I love you.
01:02:09Jake, no. You have to go.
01:02:10Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please. I promise.
01:02:13No, Jake. I can't do this. I'm sorry.
01:02:16Cheryl, come on.
01:02:17No, Jake, please. Just go. Just go. I'm sorry.
01:02:20You're a heartless bitch!
01:02:22How can you do it?
01:02:24Yay! You did it.
01:02:26I am so proud of you.
01:02:27You got your revenge sex.
01:02:28You left him in your shell of a man.
01:02:30Oh, revenge sex?
01:02:33It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:36Right.
01:02:38That all makes sense now.
01:02:41Wow. I feel really stupid.
01:02:44Eric, I'm really... I'm really sorry.
01:02:47Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:02:49And he used me.
01:02:52Eric, please don't go.
01:02:53Please, Eric!
01:02:56Aren't you happy?
01:02:58Well, no.
01:02:59That's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:03:02Any mistakes? Was it...
01:03:04No, he didn't quite do it.
01:03:06Oh.
01:03:07You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:03:09Really?
01:03:10I just never found the right guy.
01:03:11Or guys.
01:03:13Anyway, we better get downstairs.
01:03:15People are starting to leave.
01:03:16I wonder how Sue did.
01:03:18Okay.
01:03:29I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:03:31This is bullshit!
01:03:32God!
01:03:34Oh!
01:03:36Suck it!
01:03:38God, I'm out of here!
01:03:40Yeah!
01:03:41He has good hair, though.
01:03:42I can hear that.
01:03:46Don't keep pusing on me.
01:03:48Don't keep in my car, either.
01:03:50Right, Seth Frank, that I might need a vacation.
01:03:55Vacation, vacation.
01:03:58Take this inflation through your head.
01:04:02Oh, Sue, are you all right?
01:04:04Was it from sex?
01:04:06Did you pop your cork?
01:04:07I don't think so.
01:04:09Not with the guy, anyway.
01:04:11Oh, don't ask.
01:04:13Every possible object.
01:04:15It's like every mechanical thing.
01:04:16It was like...
01:04:18Transformers.
01:04:19They just all became vibrators.
01:04:21I told you.
01:04:23It's addicting.
01:04:25So what about Chris?
01:04:27Well, last time I saw him, he was running away through dear life.
01:04:29I told you he was gay.
01:04:31Well, I think I'm just...
01:04:33Oh, cramp.
01:04:36Oh, I think it's broken.
01:04:38So wait.
01:04:40None of us cashed an RV card.
01:04:46Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:49So I was gonna go grab some food.
01:04:51Wanna go?
01:04:52Oh.
01:04:54I think I should finish up here.
01:04:56Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:58No.
01:05:00I don't know.
01:05:01For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:05:04Or something.
01:05:06Why, do you know him?
01:05:08Sort of.
01:05:09Oh.
01:05:10Well, hey, if you happen to run into him, tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:05:13Leave everything inside.
01:05:19Love him.
01:05:20Shut it.
01:05:21You wanna do it with him?
01:05:22I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:05:23I wanna get married.
01:05:24You wanna do it with him?
01:05:25All right, all right, all right.
01:05:26Let's go.
01:05:27Hahaha.
01:05:28No, no way.
01:05:58Oh well, there's always next year.
01:06:25It's you.
01:06:34I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:06:40Joanna.
01:06:55I've been waiting for you.
01:07:04I've been waiting for you.
01:07:21And when the heat is on, you never take it away.
01:07:30And when the heat is on, you never take it away.
01:07:39Wow, that's amazing.
01:07:44Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me.
01:07:47I guess something inspired me.
01:07:50You really captured his expression in his eyes.
01:07:53Yeah, even that little callic he has in his hair.
01:07:58Who's?
01:08:00Eric's.
01:08:01Well, it's him, right?
01:08:04Oh.
01:08:06Yeah.
01:08:08I have to go see him.
01:08:13Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:08:17One-nine-hundred confess.
01:08:29Sister Terese?
01:08:31Yeah, hon.
01:08:32There was a problem with your credit card.
01:08:34I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:08:36Oh, sure.
01:08:38It's 271.
01:08:41Um, Sister, I know this isn't a confession,
01:08:43but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:08:46Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:08:50Like, take you back?
01:08:52Sure, hon.
01:08:53Why not?
01:08:54As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:57Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:08:59I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:09:03Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:09:07Sister, can I get up now?
01:09:10I really gotta pee.
01:09:12No!
01:09:13Hush your trap!
01:09:15Okay, honey, I really need to get back to work,
01:09:18but call back any time.
01:09:20I will.
01:09:21Thanks.
01:09:25Sister?
01:09:26Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:09:37Eric, wait!
01:09:48Cheryl?
01:09:51Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:56I was trying to have revenge sex with you at the beginning,
01:09:59but then at the end I wasn't.
01:10:02I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:10:05The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:10:08Um, I, I do want to go out with you.
01:10:13And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:10:16I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is,
01:10:18and he's all over these-
01:10:19Eric!
01:10:21Come on, I gotta get going.
01:10:24Oh.
01:10:25Wow.
01:10:26Um, Cheryl, uh, this is my sister Tina.
01:10:28Tina?
01:10:29Cheryl?
01:10:31Hi!
01:10:32Nice to meet you.
01:10:36Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days?
01:10:40Wanna get back?
01:10:42Yeah, sure.
01:10:49Oh.
01:10:50Sorry.
01:10:51No kissing, right?
01:10:52No, kissing.
01:10:53Oh.
01:10:54Yeah.
01:11:09Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:11:14I, I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:11:17Wait, what?
01:11:18I never did that.
01:11:20I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:11:21She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:11:28She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:11:31I wonder who it was.
01:11:49At least this birthday's over.
01:12:05Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:12:08I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like, send me a sign?
01:12:12Well, it's all right.
01:12:15I mean, I'm not a sign.
01:12:42Excuse me. Excuse me. Do you know where the church is? It's on Fountain Street.
01:12:48Um, yeah, that's the church I go to. Or used to go to.
01:12:52Um, it's straight up that way and then left.
01:12:55Thank you. You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:13:00Oh, um, I don't know.
01:13:03Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:13:12Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:13:17Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:13:21I don't think so. But thanks.
01:13:24What's your name? Sue. What's yours?
01:13:27Jesus.
01:13:29Really?
01:13:31Maybe I could use the ride.
01:14:01Maybe I could wait.
01:14:05There you go.
01:14:07You go.
01:14:11You go.
01:14:13You're right.
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