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Episode name - Pity Woman

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Story - Jessica gets swept off her feet and out of the hospital. As she shares the story with her new colleagues, she starts to question her own instincts.
Transcript
00:00Oh, I had an accident. I'm not maimed, but I am a bit crispy.
00:09Apparently, I can leave my COO. That stands for country of origin.
00:13Something you probably don't get because you're dumb.
00:14But I cannot leave my own chaos.
00:25Sarnay?
00:26No, thank you. No, thank you, nurse on the Sarnay.
00:28I don't need a Sarnay. I need actual pain medication, like Dilaudin or ketamine or even Demerol at this point.
00:34Just give me an epidural. I don't care.
00:36Well, you do some paracetamol if you're in pain now?
00:39If I'm in pain now? I've been in pain for 24 hours.
00:43I mean, I know my face is stunning and untouched, but I have a horrible burn under my dress.
00:47Do you care? You have such a nice face, but you're a really, really bad nurse sister.
00:51I'm not kidding. I mean, you're giving me pills I could get at a bodega.
00:55I can't give you anything else.
00:56Well, then we find ourselves at a standstill.
01:00Oh, but if you come visit me at Angel's Aesthetica in Marlebone, right, on a Monday or a Wednesday,
01:06I do injections there. I do, like, Botox fillers.
01:08I mean, my speciality is a lip flip, and we prescribe Valiums, too.
01:14I will take the sandwich.
01:18Enjoy your Sarnay.
01:20Oh, my gosh.
01:26Come on. Let's get out of here.
01:28Oh, my God. How did you get in here after?
01:30She's not allowed in here. Dog's on an on grotto. Let's go.
01:33What are you doing?
01:34I can't go. I'm an injured person in an injured place where you take care of injured people, and I have an IV.
01:41Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Close your eyes.
01:44Okay. Ow!
01:45Let's go. I've got your shoes.
01:47Okay.
01:47One second.
01:48Stop making so much fucking noise.
01:49Okay.
01:50We don't need this.
01:50Okay.
01:51All right. Fine.
01:51I don't know.
01:55I feel like I'm going to stand out or something.
01:58No. No.
02:00Oh, you can turn.
02:02Congratulations.
02:04Oh, sorry, dude. Sorry.
02:06Oh, oh, oh.
02:07Oh, God.
02:08Oh, God.
02:10Oh, God.
02:11Oh, God.
02:11Oh, God.
02:11Oh, God.
02:11Oh, God.
02:11Oh, God.
02:11Oh, God.
02:11Oh, God.
02:11Oh, God.
02:11Oh, God.
02:11Oh, God.
02:11Oh, God.
02:12Oh, God.
02:13Oh, God.
02:14Oh, God.
02:15Sorry.
02:16I didn't sign anything.
02:17Are the police going to come after me?
02:18National Health Service's queen.
02:19Oh.
02:20Do you know what that is?
02:21If we all got a proper email about it during COVID, it's quite a big deal here.
02:26Are you driving with me or what?
02:28Oh, fuck.
02:30You know, you don't have to be so aggressive to me about it.
02:33It's a simple mistake.
02:34Cold?
02:35Oh.
02:36Oh, my God.
02:37Oh, my God.
02:38Fuck it.
02:39Oh, fuck.
02:40Sorry.
02:41Sorry.
02:42Let me get this out of the way.
02:43Oh.
02:44Wow.
02:45There's a lot of...
02:46Sorry, dog.
02:47There's a bit ashy in here.
02:48Stuff going on.
02:49There's a lot of cans down there.
02:50Thirsty.
02:51Sorry.
02:52Don't worry about that noise.
02:53That's just, I think, the battery's running out or something.
02:55But, um...
02:56Should we be driving this car?
02:57It's like...
02:58Yeah.
02:59Been in my car for ages.
03:00Okay, I guess we're not buckling up.
03:02Wow.
03:03Smoking near a burn victim, that's really bold of you.
03:06I mean, being a burn victim's pretty retro, eh?
03:09Yeah.
03:10Kind of.
03:14You know, it's funny, because, uh, you set yourself on fire,
03:18and I once set this car on fire.
03:21What?
03:22How?
03:23It's just, like, a big night.
03:25It's not actually an interesting sign.
03:27Just for the record, I didn't light myself on fire.
03:31Fire lit me on fire.
03:32So...
03:33Okay.
03:34I'm so sorry that he's smoking.
03:37You hate this, though.
03:39Fucking hell.
03:40Why?
03:41Fuck you.
03:42Fuck you.
03:43It's gone.
03:44She hates it.
03:45I can't believe that I trusted a guy I met at a bar with my princess.
03:50We didn't meet at a bar.
03:51We met at a pub.
03:52Why?
03:53We met at a pub?
03:54Okay.
03:55You want a scone, governor?
03:56Yeah, right.
03:57So that is, just so you know, the most annoying genre of American humor.
04:01Just like saying what we've said back to us, but in a weird EastEnders voice.
04:04You're not charmed by me?
04:06That is a really needy question.
04:08I'm not needy!
04:09It's a needy question.
04:10I'm not.
04:11That's a needy question.
04:12You're needy.
04:13I don't need anything.
04:14I'm a chill girl.
04:15I'm normal chill.
04:16I'm independent.
04:17I don't need any validation from you.
04:20I want your tea.
04:21Thanks.
04:22I love night tea.
04:23I would normally try to hide this look from you, you know?
04:36But fuck it.
04:37This is who I am.
04:38I wear a pioneer nightgown.
04:39If I was a superhero, this would be my costume.
04:42What would your name be, though?
04:43Or like, what would your superpower be?
04:46I guess the name Pioneer Woman and the power Eroding Boundaries.
04:51Nice.
04:52Mm-hmm.
04:53Oh, fuck.
04:54It's already 5 a.m.
04:55I have to get up in a couple of hours for work.
04:58You hungry, by the way?
05:01Do you want one of these?
05:02What is that?
05:03Jaffa cake.
05:05You don't know what a jaffa cake is?
05:07Mm-mm.
05:08It's basically like a melange of chocolate and orange on the top.
05:11And then on the bottom, it's like, well...
05:14Actually, there was a bit of an outcry about the name of them,
05:18because basically they tax biscuits, but they don't tax cakes.
05:23So, basically, the jaffa cake people had to go to court
05:27to, like, prove that they're cakes,
05:29because they do sort of seem like biscuits.
05:32Like, they come in a sleeve.
05:33A little trivia.
05:34Yeah, just a bit of a Felix fact.
05:36I actually really like trivia.
05:38It makes me feel sort of...
05:41..calm, but also...
05:43..kind of weirdly powerful.
05:45Mm.
05:51Why did you come back?
05:56Er...
05:57I'm gonna take off my big dress.
06:12You have, like, a lot of layers on.
06:15It looks like you're...
06:16...going snowboarding or something.
06:18No, I'm sorry.
06:19So why are you wearing it?
06:20If it was not done.
06:21Oh.
06:22Mm.
06:23Mm.
06:24Mm.
06:29Mm.
06:30Mm.
06:31You have, like, a lot of layers on.
06:32It looks like you're...
06:33Sorry.
06:34...going snowboarding or something.
06:35No, I'm sorry.
06:37So why are you wearing it?
06:38If it was not done.
06:39Oh.
06:40OK.
07:07Ian Payney, OK?
07:09Oh, let's find out.
07:12Okay.
07:24Thanks.
07:32It doesn't hurt, like I'm not pushing on the burn best now.
07:36No.
07:37So is it better if I, like, come on?
07:39Yeah, I know.
07:40I just have to stop talking.
07:41I just want to be distracted, okay?
07:43Okay.
07:44You're, like, acting like you're on a talk show.
08:00Well, that's a lot of eye contact.
08:02You don't like eye contact?
08:04No, I mean, I don't hate it.
08:05It's just, I don't know, maybe more of a third date thing in this country.
08:09Mm.
08:10How the, how would an English girl do it?
08:13Yeah.
08:14Mm.
08:15Mm.
08:16Mm.
08:17Mm.
08:18This is how I steal your soul.
08:22You have to look at me.
08:27I've never had sex before.
08:28Oh, thank you.
08:29Oh, thank you.
08:30This is my first time.
08:40Whoa.
08:43You look really different to how you did yesterday.
08:45How so?
08:46I don't know.
08:47Like, manager of a bank or something.
08:48A bank manager?
08:49Yeah, but in a good way.
08:50I have a job.
08:51I can't just wear whatever I want.
08:52I can't, like, wear a tutu or something.
08:54Well, neither can I.
08:55You have to wear shoes in most places these days, don't you?
08:56I mean, what am I supposed to wear, like, a big, big T-shirt like you?
08:58Hey, I like this T-shirt.
08:59It's cozy.
09:00Mm-mm.
09:01And it sort of makes my head look smaller, have you noticed?
09:02Mm-mm.
09:03Has it like a tiny head effect?
09:04Yeah, I love the tiny head effect.
09:05It's just so hot.
09:06Like, sex on a stick.
09:07It's making me wet.
09:08I'm gonna slip out of my business suit.
09:09Um, so do you think you're gonna go, or...?
09:28Yeah, at some point.
09:29Okay.
09:30Good to know.
09:31Make yourself comfortable.
09:33Should I see you again, or...?
09:36I mean, I think it'd be kind of weird if you spent all day in my house and then I didn't see you again.
09:41One hour.
09:42Or, like, four hours, maybe.
09:44Okay, I'll get out of your hair, then.
09:46What is your job, by the way?
09:48I'm a stripper.
09:49I was on a plane with the wine.
09:51You could call me Whitley, I go to hell, man.
09:54Listen, I'm the baddest in the school.
09:56I'm the baddest in the game.
09:58Excuse me, honey, but nobody's in my lane.
09:59When you was in New York, you was fucking a Yankee.
10:02I was fucking with bass, I was pitching to Frankie.
10:04These bitches so cranky, rid him a hanky.
10:07My mommy, I'm cold.
10:08Give me my bl-
10:09So, we got this.
10:11It's ours!
10:13When we say Pippin Partners' Christmas advert,
10:17what we're really talking about is a moment in the year.
10:21One single moment when the culture comes together.
10:24You see, this is not some posh, woke John Lewis bullshit.
10:29This is populist and pure.
10:32That's why we're so excited to have Rita Ora.
10:35Mmm.
10:36My Albanian Duchess.
10:38The thing I love about Rita as Santa is we're subverting expectation
10:42while playing into it totally.
10:44Mmm.
10:45This is exactly what Santa is not.
10:47We still have to make it nice and feminist.
10:50Um, Josie, you can handle that, can't you?
10:53You know about that stuff.
10:54Sure.
10:55Yeah, I'll relish that opportunity.
10:56Yeah, I want you to get Santa McCartney on the calendar for this week.
11:00She's expressed an interest in collaborating on the Santa Bikini.
11:05Santa Bikini!
11:07I am screaming!
11:09Um...
11:10Oh, and of course, welcome to...
11:13Jessica.
11:14Jessica!
11:15A new line producer all the way from New York.
11:19Yeah, I mean, it's such an honor.
11:21I feel like I'm going to be a part of...
11:22Yeah, all very well.
11:23Santa.
11:24I prepared a little something.
11:25Uh, I trust that, uh, you're settling in.
11:28Of course, if you need anything at all, just ask.
11:31Well, not me, but, yeah, someone.
11:33I'm Josie.
11:34It's nice to meet you.
11:35Nice to meet you.
11:36Nice hat.
11:37It is so good to see you.
11:40We worked together in the New York office.
11:42Um, you were the creative director on the Converse Avril Lavigne campaign.
11:47Yeah.
11:48No, um, I've been here almost a year, and honestly, it's so hard for me to remember my old life.
11:55Sorry.
11:56It's not about you.
11:57It's about me.
11:58It's about America.
11:59You get it.
12:00Kim's expat social media has massively taken off.
12:03It's crazy.
12:04You've got to follow at Font Voyage.
12:06I'm boss, by the way.
12:08I started out here as Kim's assistant.
12:09He is still, in fact, my assistant.
12:11It's been really hard not to just get swept up into ideating lately,
12:14especially since I published my experimental PDF novel to much acclaim.
12:17Seriously, sales have gone fucking insane.
12:21I was able to buy a Balenciaga fanny pack with the proceeds.
12:23Which he lost at a Raven Dalston.
12:25I didn't lose it.
12:26I gifted it to that cost of Anthruple, and it was Vauxhall.
12:30Anyway.
12:34Oh my god.
12:35Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
12:36Did you see that?
12:37He's obsessed with me.
12:38It's crazy.
12:39He's like, married to Tewa woman.
12:41He's got B.C.E.
12:42Seriously, big, closeted energy.
12:45Meanwhile, Kim wants to lick out his assistant.
12:47I'm calling HR.
12:48I'm calling HR right back on you, honey.
12:50How queer are you?
12:51Oh, no, not really gay.
12:54I mean, I love gay people and everything that's maybe one day I will be,
12:58but I'm actually seeing someone here in London, this really cool guy.
13:03He's this indie musician that I met at a pub, really tall guy.
13:09Wow, an indie musician who plays at pubs for a tuppence and you hit one of those.
13:39I just encourage everyone to make a list of everything they want to experience before we're living in a fucking dystopia.
13:57Hug a polar bear.
13:59Kiss a butterfly.
14:00As much as I'd like to help Belinda locate a butterfly's mouth, we are here for a purpose.
14:06To discuss an emissions protest that can actually make an impact.
14:10Okay.
14:11Excuse me.
14:12What about...
14:13Felix.
14:14Felix.
14:15Mm-hmm.
14:16What's up?
14:18Felix.
14:19My lust for Belinda is sickening.
14:22Her body is like a tanned dolphin arcing out of the water.
14:25I feel really dirty about it, but...
14:27She's, like, 20 years old.
14:29In fact, she's literally 20 years old.
14:31As if you don't shank plenty of 20 euros.
14:33I'm a decade younger than you, mate.
14:34Once you're more than 10 years older, I've got some news for you.
14:37We are all daddy.
14:39Why are you doing this again?
14:41They eat your food, they fuck up your furniture, someone's taking the door off my bedroom.
14:45I do it because I want to build a better world for the children that I'm not ready to have yet and may never want.
14:50Listen, do I want to get laid after the years of frigid hell my ex-wife put me through before ultimately leaving to then go and live on a barge?
14:59Yes.
15:00Are you going to ask me how I am?
15:02How are you, Felix?
15:03If I tell you what's on my mind, are you going to be nice about it or do you think you're going to be a dick about it?
15:07Oh, well, that depends on what you tell me.
15:09I think I've met someone.
15:15Well, and, well, you always think you've met someone.
15:20I think it might be different this time.
15:24Since the last one.
15:26Just stop being a dick about it.
15:28I'm not being a dick.
15:29I'm protecting you.
15:30I saw the smell out as well.
15:31There's a fucking smell now.
15:32Hey.
15:33Whatcha doing?
15:34Oh, um, just comparing prices on two sound stages, of course.
15:38Mmm, fun.
15:39I'm making a playlist for my friend.
15:40She just got dumped by Cruz Beckham, which is pretty much the lowest thing that's ever happened to anyone.
15:45Do you want to hear?
15:46Um, oh, you probably don't want my take.
15:47Me and my ex-wife said I had a horrible taste in music.
15:50It's not your fault I've ruined everything.
15:52And it's not your fault I can't be what you need.
15:53Baby angels like you can fly down here with me.
16:07I'm everything they said I would be.
16:12What?
16:13It's nothing.
16:15It's not real music.
16:17It's not real music, it's manufactured bullshit.
16:21Come on, you're too smart to fall for that.
16:23I'm not falling for anything.
16:25She's on a different level.
16:27I mean, she is commentary on the manufactured pop star.
16:31She's been commenting on it since her Disney days.
16:35She has.
16:38Don't make me feel stupid for loving things.
16:41Oh, sad.
16:43But what about this new guy you're seeing?
16:44Do we like him?
16:45Can we trust him?
16:46Is he for real or is he like a trauma bonder,
16:49gaslighter, narcissist, tender swindler?
16:52Oh, uh, he's nice.
16:55He's just that kind of guy.
16:57He's really kind.
16:58How long have you known him?
16:59Like two days, like two days.
17:02She's known him two days.
17:04Lot of life can happen in two days.
17:06Then it's two weeks, then it's two years.
17:09You live a life full of love.
17:12And then one day, he says he wants a baby.
17:17And you say, I'm not sure.
17:19Then he meets a barista in Silver Lake and she gets pregnant.
17:24And this kind of thing can happen even if someone looks like me.
17:29Um, sorry, apologies, excuse me.
17:32Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, carry on.
17:35Uh, I encourage feelings.
17:37Good, because I have a few.
17:39I had to break up with my ex a while ago.
17:41He did not have the emotional intelligence necessary to deal with dating someone whose
17:46love language is being a bitch in a fun way.
17:50Listen, what we're saying is don't get too comfortable too quickly, right?
17:55Stay vigilant.
17:56Seriously, me and Kim are going out later.
17:58It's actually international outfit of the day, eh?
18:01It's my favorite holiday.
18:02Come with.
18:04There'll be fun people that I met on the Looking for Friends setting on Raya.
18:06Mm-hmm.
18:07An artisanal e-cigarette designer.
18:09The guy who supplies cobalt to Cartier, this ripped footballer we know, who's like obsessed,
18:14sexually obsessed with intellectual women.
18:17So like, don't set your life on fire for a rando you met on the street.
18:19Fuck a different rando.
18:20Thanks, guys.
18:21That makes me feel amazing.
18:23Yeah.
18:24I want to stop the chaos, Wendy.
18:26And when I trust my own instincts, chaos always follows.
18:29I mean, these people must know better than me.
18:32Everyone knows better than me.
18:33It's coming your way, mate.
18:34Watch out.
18:35Oh, all right.
18:36Yeah.
18:37Okay.
18:38The Great Wall of Peckham.
18:39Sorry.
18:40Yeah.
18:41You haven't felt like this before.
18:42Not since the folk singer or the corset designer or the Ukrainian refugee influencer.
18:48They all feel so different and then inevitably it's too real and you're scared to end it.
18:53So you stay with them for six months and get a second girlfriend in the meantime.
18:56Hey, never a second girlfriend.
18:57Yeah, but what about Linnea or Nagy?
18:59Have you broken up with them?
19:00Linnea left the pub in a huff because she wanted to go to a restaurant with proper cloth napkins or something.
19:06Fair enough.
19:07Nagy, I think, is on holiday with her gran.
19:09All right.
19:10But she hasn't texted me more than like, I don't know, once or twice a day.
19:14Naughty boy.
19:15No pub for you.
19:16You know what you have to do if you really think this is so different.
19:19All right.
19:20Fine.
19:21Fine.
19:22I'll do that.
19:36Hi.
19:37Sorry to drop by.
19:38I just wanted to say...
19:39Oh, so you've come here for your punishment.
19:41I know.
19:42I know.
19:43I know your game, mister.
19:44Act like you don't give a shit.
19:45Try and pull me closer.
19:46Do you, though?
19:47Because I've been trying to say that my circumstances have changed.
19:48And I'm sort of trying to...
19:49That's really tight, mate.
19:50Okay.
19:51I'm trying to change with them.
19:52Ugh.
19:53Things don't feel like they've changed.
19:54Ugh.
19:55You've got a big, erect penis.
19:57Yep.
19:58You're obsessed with me.
19:59And that makes you angry.
20:00You're like, wow, she's everything I thought I never deserved.
20:04So you run.
20:05And you act poorly just to spit in the face of a blessing.
20:07Well...
20:08What the fuck?
20:09Do you just spit on my chin?
20:10Do you just spit on my chin?
20:11Do you just spit on my chin?
20:12Oh.
20:13Leah, I think I might have met someone else.
20:14Yeah.
20:15Oh.
20:16Oh.
20:17Oh.
20:18Oh.
20:19Oh.
20:20Oh.
20:21Oh.
20:22Oh.
20:23Oh.
20:24Oh.
20:25Oh.
20:26Oh.
20:27Oh.
20:28Oh.
20:29Oh.
20:30Oh.
20:31Oh.
20:32Oh.
20:33Oh.
20:34That's perfect.
20:35No, as in like, the air.
20:36Oh no.
20:37No.
20:38Yeah, it's getting better.
20:39Thank you for your support.
20:40It's all good.
20:41The world needs more kindness.
20:42And you know, whenever you did it on purpose, I don't care, that you still deserve empathy
20:47and I still on that?
20:48But I didn't do it on purpose.
20:49How come as soon as an intense woman meets a flame people yell witch?
20:53I'm actually just heading out, so.
20:55Yeah?
20:56Mm-hmm.
20:57Bit of a romance?
20:58What's her name?
20:59Um, his name is football player.
21:02He's a football player.
21:03He's a football player.
21:04Where?
21:05But it's never going to work out.
21:06I mean, I have the muscle tone of a newborn, so...
21:08Oh, listen.
21:09Don't be nervous.
21:11Do not be nervous.
21:12Listen to me.
21:13Wags have curves, and you've got a BBA.
21:16Big, beautiful arse.
21:18So just relax, and actually, I can teach you some English slang.
21:22Okay, I've got to...
21:23Yeah, you can use it.
21:24Use it on your day.
21:25Really, really impressive.
21:27Um...
21:29Blosser.
21:30Do you know that one?
21:32One of them.
21:34Yeah, that's helpful, thank you.
21:35Get your leg over.
21:37Just having sex.
21:38Cartagine.
21:39Never heard of that.
21:40So that's what George Michael went to jail for.
21:42But this was before he drove his car into a Snappy Snaps in Hampstead.
21:47Okay, do you have all the things that you came with?
21:49Do you know what companies?
21:51Let's get going.
21:53Let's get out of here.
21:54Okay.
21:55It's really fancy.
21:56She needs a lip.
21:57Doesn't she know that?
21:58She needs a lip, like, now.
21:59Like, right now.
22:00How many lipsticks?
22:01Oh, thank you.
22:03Open?
22:04Is that padded?
22:05No.
22:06That's weirder.
22:07Take off your tights.
22:08Take off the tights.
22:09Can I approach the consent to approach?
22:10The top?
22:11Top?
22:12The top?
22:13Yeah!
22:14Hey, yo, 10 men.
22:15What?
22:16The jump off right here.
22:17Been gone for a minute.
22:18Now I'm back with the jump off.
22:19Goons in a club case.
22:20Something jumps off.
22:21You back up for the high, but the pumps off.
22:22And the graveyard is where you get stumped.
22:23Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi.
22:24Hi, hi, hi, hi.
22:25Hi.
22:26up for the hop in the graveyard is where you get stunk hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi pavel this is jessica
22:38hi nice to meet you nice to meet you too i'm pavel okay yeah i play for leighton orient
22:47but my passion project is the is the line of denim i'm working on for boo man but
22:54so what are you about well first of all congratulations on your accomplishments
23:02a line of denim what hey i know you're nervous to be around someone so structurally attractive
23:09but he can sense sarcasm that does translate so cool it okay kidding that's awesome yeah football
23:16what the hell yeah is that hard i don't know much about that is it hard yeah it's hard i kick the
23:22ball and i can pay for my ex's band every month even though she's living with my um cousin damn
23:29that's ice cold yeah totally my ex doesn't drive he has spatial awareness issues but um it doesn't
23:38matter who cares i'm not thinking about him i'm thinking about you who cares
23:42get to know you over this amazing dinner all right then so no no no stop hey you're funny nova really
23:56what did i say that was funny yeah you you make funny faces hey who am i perfect yeah something like
24:05this i love your intonations really yeah like how you're saying that thank you what she said she
24:11said she likes me can't wait to have anal sex with you really cool i'm kidding kidding
24:21it'd be crazy if we had anal sex on the first night that we met you can't say the anal is crazy
24:26i've never done it it doesn't matter not that i would never but i just so it's gross thing just
24:32it's gross i don't think it's gross i just think i should you know take a class or something first
24:38what is happening now oh you think that's funny you think that's funny that kind of laughing
24:46it's not funny it's not funny you pathetic baby man okay yeah you don't like me oh you don't respect
25:00me so why why have you been hanging around hey i'm not dumb okay i know you don't really like me
25:15no one likes me that's not true i bet your mum likes you like she probably loves you
25:23i hate this plume
25:29you're a nice guy okay but next time you date someone and you realize that they're not for you
25:36don't pretend and slowly back out the door because i could feel you going
25:44um could you please untie my feet the feet bits sorry
26:02come here come here
26:07now
26:14i'm sorry okay
26:18i'm sorry that was like all of it was all really like super hot and sexy i just
26:27really yeah like so mad impressive like you're so like just in it and
26:34i'm really sure you're right yeah i'm really sorry hi jason you're right my parents aren't proud but
26:42that's because like 16 percent of the american population they are addicts but
26:48my grandma's super proud because i just bought her a house
26:51Oh, also, say hi to your dad, because we've been fucking and I'm your step-mommy now.
27:01Here's a thing, Wendy. I used to be afraid that the crisis was coming for me.
27:05And now I'm realizing what if I am the crisis.
27:09And, you know, if I just toned it down, or if I just speak when spoken to, or just behave in general,
27:17then maybe I could keep it at bay.
27:19Jessica?
27:21Uh, one...
27:25Hi. One second.
27:27One second.
27:29Hey. Hi. What's up?
27:32What were you, talking to your son?
27:34You're like an M. Night Shyamalan movie in there. Are you good?
27:37Um, yeah. No, it's not what it looks like.
27:40I just make these little videos on my phone.
27:42It's technically social media videos, but my account is private, so it's just for me.
27:47Just a way to express myself, you know, let it loose. Just a way for me to let loose.
27:51Dear Wendy Jones, today would have been seven of my seventh anniversary.
27:55I imagined myself encircled in roses in a luxury hotel in the Caribbean.
28:00But instead, I'm like the goth boy in American Beauty, filming all the garbage I so deeply relate to.
28:06So while I did it.
28:09Thank you. That actually means a lot to me.
28:11Who is Wendy? Fiction? Non-fiction?
28:16She's your sister and she died or something.
28:18No, no, no. My sister's alive. She's just like really severely depressed.
28:22Wendy is my ex's fiancée.
28:25Your ex-fiancée?
28:26No, no. My, um, ex's fiancée, uh, the woman that he left me for.
28:31Um, and the worst part is that I can't even hate her because she pulled herself out of foster care by the bootstraps.
28:37And, um, she has really unique, awesome style.
28:41She's a really beautiful woman. She's a beautiful woman. As simple as that.
28:45You can hate her.
28:47You don't need a Zoom.
28:50No, you can definitely hate her.
28:52And, and you talk to her.
28:54And you like that.
28:56It, it feels nice talking to the woman that your ex is dicking down.
28:59I'm genuinely asking.
29:01Because for me, the maths, they don't math.
29:05Yeah, I mean, in my head, she's talking back.
29:08She's saying things back sometimes.
29:09Yeah, always. All the time, she's always like...
29:12You know, you seem intense.
29:15And, and really worked up.
29:18But this shows me you're doing an excellent job of keeping it on lock in public.
29:23Um, I'm just trying to do what I can to survive.
29:26Huh. I know the feeling.
29:29Uh, I'll see you out there, yeah?
29:31Kim, I literally don't know which way is up anymore.
29:36Sorry, I'm such a fucking mess.
29:38Um, you're not a mess.
29:40You're, you're a work in progress.
29:43It's simple.
29:45You just listen to yourself, yeah?
29:46Thank you, Kim.
29:47I would hug you, but you're almost out the door.
29:49I'll just hug you in my mind.
29:51Hugging back.
29:55Oh, here you are.
29:57What did I miss?
29:59Hmm.
30:00You've gone for a long time.
30:02You were pooping?
30:04No, I wasn't pooping.
30:07Um, I was doing...
30:09It doesn't matter.
30:10It doesn't matter.
30:11Are you...
30:13Okay.
30:14Mocking me.
30:15Because you're a messy one, aren't you?
30:21Me?
30:22Yeah.
30:23I look at you, at your lips.
30:28Sorry, I mean, I just, um, I hate that word.
30:31Like a dust that's risen in popularity in the last five years.
30:35And, you know, everyone being like, I'm a mess.
30:38This shit's messy.
30:39Women online being like, I'm a mess.
30:42I choose chaos.
30:43But would a man ever be told that he's a mess?
30:46No.
30:47Like you, Pavel.
30:48I mean, a quick bathroom Google showed me that you have a wife and two-year-old twins.
30:53And yet here you are, hoping to fuck one of us.
30:56Is it me?
30:57We don't know.
30:58Yeah.
30:59Actually, my twins are three years old.
31:03Okay.
31:04That's fucking messy.
31:05And yet you get a freebie, right?
31:07Because why?
31:08Because you never lit yourself on fire?
31:11Something that I also haven't done, obviously.
31:14So yeah, I guess by the world's standards, I'm messy.
31:17But actually, I'm a work in progress.
31:19Because I know who I am and I know what I want.
31:22And I'm listening to myself.
31:25Right, Kim?
31:27I didn't mean for you to start immediately, but go off.
31:31She goes hard in the paint.
31:32And you know what?
31:33The guy that I've been seeing for the last 46 hours...
31:35Whoa.
31:36He doesn't care.
31:37He doesn't care.
31:39And if that makes him a love-bombing gaslighter, then okay.
31:42I guess.
31:43Then I guess I...
31:44I'm dating a love-bomber.
31:46I mean, I guess...
31:48Yeah, I guess I'd choose Chaos.
31:50Or actually, you know what?
31:52Chaos chose me.
31:53Because I'm fucking irresistible!
31:58She's amazing.
31:59Actually, yeah, she's amazing.
32:02She's amazing.
32:03She's amazing.
32:09The year
32:18jumps out, he's amazing.
32:28I don't think she likes wearing that.
32:41How do you know that?
32:43Just a vibe.
32:45I think she's a naturist.
32:48What's a naturist like, David Attenborough?
32:51No, a naturist is someone who gets naked for sport.
32:54Hi, by the way.
32:54Hi.
32:55Sorry, that was weird.
32:55Um, I think you mean a nudist.
32:59Like my dad's friend Skip, who used to get naked and jump in the pool and freak us all out.
33:03Uh, no, that sounds to me like Skip was just a full-on pervert.
33:07Yeah.
33:07Yeah.
33:08Well, women need to be careful of perverts and Tinder swindlers and love bombers.
33:13Oh, yeah, what is that?
33:15Someone explained love bombing to me the other day, but I didn't really get it.
33:19Isn't it just like being really nice to someone?
33:21Oh, my God.
33:23I do not...
33:24I can't do this with you.
33:25I can't do the emotional labor of explaining this.
33:28Are you a love bomber?
33:29Are you going to, like, buy me a piano?
33:31Uh, no.
33:33I didn't make you a mix, though.
33:35Is that allowed?
33:38Do you want to listen to it?
33:39I don't, like, know anything about music.
33:49I, like, girly bullshit, so don't expect me to, like, tell you what I think about it, okay?
33:53All you have to do is listen to it.
33:56Okay.
33:57I'm going to give you the controls.
33:59Is that comfortable?
34:00Mm-hmm.
34:02And if you don't like a song, just skip it, all right?
34:05All right.
34:05Oh, the sink in the spell
34:22I'm going to go.
34:23I'll let you see.
34:26I'm going to go.
34:26I'm going to talk to you soon.
34:28There is a feeling I love
34:47Buried in my brow
34:52I have no reason to run
34:58I see no reason
35:03Are you with me now?
35:11Are you with me now?
35:22It's not impossible
35:32It's not unfathomable
35:39It's not unusual
35:44Baby

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