MudKey.2025

Fun and Entertainment

A lefty lesbian couple and their lapdog accidentally beach their boat on a tiny remote Florida Key, crashing a right wing couple's campsite, and all must wait for the tide to come back in for them to get out.

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00:11:02for a good contractor i'm uh more of a handyman now smaller projects things like that yeah

00:11:10real small it's just hard finding good workers down here right right what with everyone being

00:11:17so transient i don't know about that people come and go all the time he knows what transient means

00:11:24babe they're all a bunch of illegals now hold on let me finish before y'all go off on me

00:11:29they got to be paid under the table they don't pay any taxes on that and then send all that money back

00:11:34to whatever the hell country they're from and none of it goes back into our system dj they don't want

00:11:39to hear it you know what it's okay it's okay i get it i'm a big rule follower it isn't right

00:11:48huh

00:11:52what i like to do things on the up and up my wife here not so much what are you even

00:11:59talking about uh right now she's trying to beat the system be an influencer and not have to work

00:12:05anymore what's your handle again i'm i'm not trying to beat the system and not work anymore and it's

00:12:10at flippin awesome no g dollar sign exclamation point and you've got like 1800 followers almost

00:12:20almost i need some new content good poopy buddy

00:12:27should i get a clip of that that's funny that's cute babe i'm trying to pull back the curtain and

00:12:34be open with my audience establish a lifestyle grow followers you don't get it that is a beautiful poopy

00:12:42are you just going to marvel at her you can go pick it up he hasn't been going since he's been

00:12:47on his meds and plus he's anal retentive anyway so when he does go i like to make a big deal are we

00:12:52still talking about this thank you welcome to my world you're not going to believe it she actually

00:12:57has a song that she sings about it and if you're lucky you're going to hear it i'd rather lick a razor

00:13:02blade and then eat a lemon honey and then put tabasco on write that one down

00:13:12so what do you catch here dj well snook lemon shark uh mangrove snapper sometimes lemon shark you can

00:13:21eat that yeah sure you can eat just about anything you catch out here that's amazing what do you use

00:13:26for bait well chihuahua mixes are best but i wasn't sure how y'all feel about that very funny dj very

00:13:36dry kind of creeps up on you i like that but seriously what do you use for bait oh just some mullet

00:13:45not your wife's hairdo base by the way you guys this is intentional they're back in style so that's

00:13:52unfortunate did not know you fish it's been a long time but i love it

00:14:05yeah my dad and i used to go out i did not know that yeah he would take me off the pier in oceanside

00:14:13you're welcome to grab a rod and have at it are you serious that'd be awesome

00:14:17yep around the cooler that's the one awesome all right hooks out so be careful okay okay

00:14:26in fact let's switch these okay you take this one okay thank you

00:14:31there you go you need me to bait that for you oh no can you just give me a mullet yep

00:14:37yep yep yep yep thank you sir

00:14:46you can go through the mouth but you might want to go through the back under that fin

00:14:49right a little stronger harder than it looks but i got it i got it it's just it's coming back to me

00:14:54yeah what are you guys planning to do here with all the accoutrement oh you got a lot of stuff out here

00:15:00we're camping here tonight okay that sounds awesome baby we need to do that okay babe well with the

00:15:08tide not coming back until 10 or 11 tonight y'all may not have a choice wait i got an important zoom

00:15:16at seven baby i gotta get back by then yeah and if we all push though we're gonna be fine right

00:15:23no we're not staying tonight i didn't pack anything we don't have treats we don't have his meds

00:15:28baby we're gonna be fine but i just love that your biggest concern is the dog and his needs

00:15:33i don't know who needs whom more look at you yep you did it right watch okay now you gotta release

00:15:43the reel oh right right right here watch this just like this jesus okay i gotcha

00:15:51i'm gonna have my sandwich do you want yours no not yet okay i'm gonna have mine ah

00:16:00okay cast it on out there okay as long as you get your bait wet you got a chance

00:16:11that'll play okay you're a great teacher dj do you guys have any kids we got four between the two of us

00:16:19i had a practice husband before him and so did he did you have a practice husband too let me

00:16:24fuck no i'm just teasing but i love that practice spouses so how old are your kids 22 to 27 and six

00:16:35grandbabies no way mm-hmm we started young it's amazing you guys don't look a day over 50. we're not

00:16:44at least i'm not dj here just turned 51. i got me an older man i can't wait to have grandkids

00:16:56how many of your kids did you guys have together

00:17:01none well we have three of our own we got um an 18 year old a 16 year old and a 14 year old

00:17:10she had them with her ex i'm the step monster are they with their dad right now

00:17:18no they're with their other mom i had a practice wife too she's gone for two weeks in maui

00:17:27babe i like my down time so shoot me i'm still waiting for peter pan over here to grow up

00:17:34oh fish on what is it lemon shark i think no way baby teddy catches on here

00:17:48babe get it i am get my knife bands i'm on it guys you're gonna cut it loose a little catch and

00:17:54release action i'm gonna eat it what babe isn't that how you and your dad used to do

00:18:04now just drop the chip and reel him in come on

00:18:08jesus christ and they know what i'm doing

00:18:12shut that dog the up

00:18:14my life has seen the glory of the coming

00:18:20oh good here she goes i swear to god the dogs go in the water

00:18:23yeah shut it up

00:18:30good job dj you break our bye yeah tell yourself what you need to tell yourself okay

00:18:50wasn't my fucking fault god damn it you can be such a dick sometimes

00:19:00i'll tell you what you're a big fucking baby but you are baby

00:19:09touch turns to

00:19:10shit

00:19:13like i didn't snap that i can run over your fat head

00:19:18i don't know about you guys but i'm a big believer in everything happening for a reason

00:19:24jesus christ

00:19:25what what it's true jody and i were this close to swiping the other way for each other

00:19:31babe i don't know what you're talking about

00:19:33yeah y'all met on a sex app it was a dating app

00:19:38isn't that the same thing you haven't been single for a while have you no i have not

00:19:44we met the good old-fashioned way drunk at a bar i hear that that works too

00:19:49oh my god i love this song turn it up

00:19:58and she makes fun of me for singing to the dog

00:20:00come on baby dance with me

00:20:05i'm new i'm great now

00:20:07i'm great right now

00:20:09oh boy

00:20:18thank god i know

00:20:20oh i'm one what was she like when she dragged you don't want to know if this is so wrong i don't want to be right

00:20:33i am one lucky lucky lady

00:20:44you're pretty good

00:20:51hey your friends calling for you

00:20:53my friend

00:20:53rara i need you

00:20:55Okay, okay. What happened?

00:20:57I broke my fucking tooth!

00:20:59Are you in pain?

00:21:01I'm ready to go back now.

00:21:03Okay. Hey, what can I do, baby?

00:21:05Super up from your sparkling water

00:21:07and get us the fuck out of here.

00:21:09Okay, it's okay. You know what?

00:21:11We're gonna get you to an emergency dentist.

00:21:13It's all gonna be okay.

00:21:15Good luck with that.

00:21:17Well, there's gotta be someone around here.

00:21:19I mean, getting out.

00:21:21Well, what if we all push together?

00:21:25Come on!

00:21:27Here we go.

00:21:33Oh, look, it didn't work.

00:21:35Baby, baby, should we have her trim up the engine?

00:21:37If anything, she needs to hop out and help us push.

00:21:39Okay, come on, my love. Come on.

00:21:41It's gonna be okay, I promise you. On your count.

00:21:43On three. One, two, three. Up!

00:21:47Okay, what if I trim down the engine and I just fucking floor it?

00:21:51Okay, okay.

00:21:53Okay.

00:21:59Okay, go.

00:22:01Babe, you're breaking the boat!

00:22:03I'm not breaking the boat!

00:22:05You're doing more damage.

00:22:07Well, what do you want me to do?

00:22:09Get the radio!

00:22:11Okay, okay, I got the radio.

00:22:13I got the radio!

00:22:15I got it!

00:22:17Damn it!

00:22:19Are you fucking kidding me?

00:22:23I'm fucking believable!

00:22:25What are you calling a dentist?

00:22:27I'm saving myself!

00:22:29Because my wife was too busy whooping it up to do it herself!

00:22:33I would prefer no love right now.

00:22:35Sorry.

00:22:37Channel 16?

00:22:39For dental emergencies?

00:22:41I'm not sure.

00:22:43Mayday!

00:22:45Mayday!

00:22:47Mayday!

00:22:49What's your emergency?

00:22:51I busted my tooth on a cherry pit and I'm in a lot of pain and there's a lot of blood.

00:22:57Are you still there?

00:22:59Yes, ma'am.

00:23:01What is it that you'd like for me to do?

00:23:03Well, the tide is really low right now and I did a real number when I parked our boat and we can't get out.

00:23:07We're on that little beach over on Mud King and we can't get out.

00:23:23We're on that little beach over on Mud King?

00:23:25Ma'am, this channel is designated for distress and emergency callers.

00:23:29It's not used for conversation.

00:23:31I'm sorry, here bet you, too.

00:23:33I do know a pretty good pair of dsem and cudjo I can recommend.

00:23:35No, thank you, but thank you anyway, baby get the number

00:23:43Okay, I'll take the number, please

00:23:53Thank you so much. Thanks a fucking lot

00:24:01Oh, yeah, don't get DJ started on that tell you what

00:24:04Let's find something to apply pressure you to set tight for a few hours and wait for the time to come back in

00:24:11Define a few

00:24:12five or six

00:24:14That's several not a few

00:24:17All right, what about your shirt?

00:24:20It's new okay

00:24:22It wasn't cheap honey. That's okay. We'll get you a new one. I don't want a new one. Okay. Now. You're just being a baby

00:24:29What about your buff?

00:24:32Okay, I don't really like this one

00:24:34I

00:24:40Stuff it up in there. It's sweaty and it's dirty now is not the time to be a pussy

00:24:50Right in there

00:24:55All the way

00:24:57Now what now you chill the fuck out?

00:25:09You can make one of your videos, baby

00:25:11There's a there's this this plant is called a Sarah Sarah or something. I don't know, but it's supposed to be good for

00:25:22Kidneys and your skin

00:25:24It's

00:25:26It's also good for blood. It's a good blood. What's coagulator? Yeah, yeah, we have a bunch of it

00:25:33It's all over here all over this island. We have some outside of our building. Yep right back by the propane tank

00:25:37Yep, it's probably out here in the mangroves

00:25:39Yeah, how do you spell it? I don't I don't know

00:25:50Okay

00:25:52Fuck to AT&T. Uh-huh

00:25:54If you stand over there by that bush and hold it up

00:25:58Okay, okay, you can at least get one bar, okay?

00:26:06I think it is

00:26:08Maybe that's it's that's what it is. Okay, but it doesn't say anything here about being a good coagulate. I don't know

00:26:14I don't fuck. I don't know

00:26:18So you're saying it could be growing around here, too? Yeah, maybe over in those mangroves

00:26:26Honey, what was that?

00:26:35Yes, thank you bon voyage

00:26:44I know you are baby and you won't I promise girl, it ain't no big thing. I got two of them look come up here

00:27:00And one down here

00:27:05You know, I don't even think I'd know what it looks like if I saw it

00:27:08Yeah, all right fine. Come on. I'll take you. Okay. It'd suck if she got

00:27:15Poison ivy in her mouth or poison oak. Come on. Wait, I gotta put it in my mouth

00:27:23Be right back. Hey, and while we're gone DJ, don't you go hitting on my wife, okay? Oh my god

00:27:29What it's not my fault? I'm married to the hottest woman on the planet. Come on. Okay. Okay. Come in

00:27:34I'm fine

00:27:38I'm fine. I think I'm like a supermodel

00:27:42That's uh, it's nice

00:27:45And she's like insanely jealous, too. Yeah, well go go get my fishing pole

00:27:52Okay

00:28:04So what'd you say you do for work again amber didn't I work over at hideaways. Oh

00:28:25That's on Duval right the place with all the license plates all over the wall. No, it's a vacation rental company

00:28:30They pay me to deal with all sorts of bullshit

00:28:34Like uh, oh

00:28:36mangoes keep dropping into the pool or there's ghost dance all over the counter on the bread we left out or the ac stopped working

00:28:44where

00:28:50So what your lawyer

00:28:52Yeah, and a big streaming company. Oh, well, that's cool. Which one the big one

00:28:58Seriously, seriously. Oh, you need to tell them to bring back that a cooking show at paris. That's programming. I'm public policy. Oh, okay

00:29:06You don't watch that crap. Do you mm-hmm? I like to know how the other half lives

00:29:10Well, you know, it's not real, right?

00:29:12Well, it's different from my life. Okay, and that's good enough. Sometimes it's just

00:29:16nice to get away

00:29:18I get that

00:29:20Shit, you know what we should have brought beers. Oh

00:29:24Shit, I'm sorry. I forgot you stopped drinking. I'm so sorry about that. Hey, hey, that's okay. You didn't do anything

00:29:30I did what's that? Why did you stop drinking anyway?

00:29:34Primarily health reasons. Oh, duh. Nobody drinks cuz it's good for you

00:29:38You know what? Hey, life's too short. Woo

00:29:41Yeah

00:29:44That's right. Life is too short. All the more reason for me to quit. Hmm

00:29:53There aren't any snakes around here are there sure there are we just stepped everyone a second ago. What Jesus Christ, holy thing

00:30:11I'm sorry if we ruin your time here come again

00:30:26I'm sorry if we ruin your day. No, it's fine

00:30:32Everything was probably nice and mellow till we rolled up

00:30:38Not exactly

00:30:41Amber does this thing sometimes where she doesn't talk to me so

00:30:49Actually wasn't all that nice

00:30:52Were you guys in a fight?

00:30:54I don't know what the hell I did. That's just how she gets sometimes

00:30:58I bet Liz would love if I stopped talking to her. She tunes me out half the time anyway

00:31:03I don't think she'd like it as much as she thinks

00:31:06Not as great as it seems

00:31:11Hey, you don't have any Advil do you?

00:31:18Not on me

00:31:21You still in pain?

00:31:22Yeah, I think when I broke my tooth something might have gotten exposed

00:31:29You got any gum don't you think that's the last thing I should be doing talking about taking a little piece of chewed up gum

00:31:36stuffing it up in there to protect it

00:31:39It's actually a really good idea

00:31:42No, I wish I did

00:31:51Oh, I couldn't

00:31:52Not the whole thing just a little piece

00:31:54I don't have cooties

00:31:59I've already had COVID like four times

00:32:01Whatever stick your buff back in your mouth

00:32:07I don't care

00:32:08Okay, thank you

00:32:18There you go

00:32:23Ball that up get it up in there

00:32:24Thank you

00:32:25It's gonna hurt but uh, it'll feel better after

00:32:35What's the matter?

00:32:37I'm scared to touch it

00:32:40Here, give it over

00:32:43You're gonna do it?

00:32:44Yeah, sit down

00:32:45Will you be gentle?

00:32:49Yeah, is that as wide as you can open your mouth?

00:32:51Mm-hmm

00:32:52Oh, Jesus Christ, tilt your head back

00:32:53Huh?

00:32:55All right, well, you're not gonna bite me, are you?

00:32:57All right, hold still

00:32:58Get up in here

00:33:00All right

00:33:01Oh, there it is

00:33:02Ah! Ah!

00:33:04Almost done

00:33:10Thank you so much

00:33:13Don't mention it

00:33:15I thought I could do it, but I couldn't

00:33:19You'll get it next time

00:33:38God, is this gorgeous

00:33:39Mm-hmm

00:33:43Fuck the Cerisee

00:33:45I could stay here all day

00:33:46True that

00:33:53You okay there?

00:33:55Yeah

00:33:56I'm just looking for that plant shit

00:34:00Yeah, it seems like you and DJ have got a good thing going

00:34:04What's your secret?

00:34:05Sometimes I think you people have the right idea

00:34:07Just ditch them in and not have to deal with all of their bullshit

00:34:12I'd be right there with you if I could stomach poontang

00:34:17It's true

00:34:18I couldn't eat out another woman's twat if you paid me

00:34:22No offense

00:34:22Hey, none taken

00:34:26Oh, you know what?

00:34:27Don't hold me to it, but I think this is it

00:34:29Mm-hmm

00:34:30Come here

00:34:30Okay, hold on a sec

00:34:37Okay, hold on a sec

00:34:39If it's clothes cracked

00:34:41No

00:34:42This is it

00:34:43Okay, here

00:34:44Let me get some

00:34:46Take that back for you

00:34:47Thank you

00:34:48Thank you

00:34:48And

00:34:50Ooh, here's some here

00:34:52For me

00:34:53I mean, who wouldn't want good skinny kidneys, right?

00:34:54Right

00:34:56And if I'm wrong and it's poison ivy, we'll know in about 12 hours or so

00:35:01Ooh, here's some more

00:35:03I can put your index finger here like a trigger

00:35:06Take it back

00:35:07Push it down with your thumb

00:35:08Flick it and let it fly, okay?

00:35:09Mm-hmm

00:35:10I'm gonna do it for you

00:35:11Okay

00:35:11You gotta do it yourself

00:35:12Okay

00:35:12Bring it back

00:35:13That's it

00:35:14That's right

00:35:14Thumb down

00:35:15Let it fly

00:35:17Ha!

00:35:18You're a natural!

00:35:19Look at that high five!

00:35:20Yeah!

00:35:22Wow, what did we miss here?

00:35:24Your fiancé is a total angler

00:35:27Fiancé?

00:35:28I'm sorry, I don't know what y'all are calling it these days

00:35:30Um, for starters, she's my wife

00:35:33Just like you have a wife, I have a wife

00:35:37Oh, gentle, gentle babe

00:35:40Well, at least someone's feeling better

00:35:42Yeah, she just needs some time for the bleeding to stop

00:35:45Let it sit

00:35:46Let it sit

00:35:47Who put the bait on for her?

00:35:48I'm telling you, she did

00:35:49She's a regular little fisherman

00:35:50Dang it

00:35:51Fisherwoman

00:35:51Yeah

00:35:52I don't

00:35:52Fisherperson, I can't keep up

00:35:54You're fine, you're fine, leave it

00:35:56Here I thought my wife was on her deathbed

00:35:58So I go off into the muck

00:36:00Hunting for God knows what

00:36:02And little do I know you two are sitting here on the beach

00:36:04Having the time of your lives

00:36:08Here, babe

00:36:09Thank you, I will, I will use those later

00:36:11Thank you

00:36:13Yep, they're gonna come to it

00:36:14It's right where you want it

00:36:18Hold it still

00:36:19Mm-hmm

00:36:20All right

00:36:21Yeah, bring in a little

00:36:22Well, I'm just glad you're feeling better, baby

00:36:28Thank you, me too

00:36:29I was in a lot of pain

00:36:31But DJ's gum really helped

00:36:36Come again?

00:36:37DJ gave me a piece of gum

00:36:41And I put a tiny piece of it on the broken tooth

00:36:44And it helped to protect it

00:36:47What's going on here?

00:36:49Nothing

00:36:50Jody Cohn Jimenez?

00:36:51What?

00:36:52Nothing happened

00:36:54I needed to cover the wound

00:36:55I

00:36:56It was crazy sensitive

00:36:57I was in a lot of pain

00:36:58And he gave me a tiny piece of gum

00:37:01And it did the trick

00:37:02Then why are you acting like such a weirdo?

00:37:03I'm not

00:37:04You're the weirdo

00:37:06Hey, DJ

00:37:07I'd like a piece of gum if you have

00:37:10I don't think there's any more gum

00:37:14Where's the wrapper?

00:37:15I don't know

00:37:17I threw it away

00:37:19Where'd you throw it?

00:37:22It's in the cooler somewhere

00:37:25Oh my god, babe

00:37:27It came from his mouth

00:37:28Okay?

00:37:29We were in crisis mode

00:37:30And we didn't have a choice

00:37:32We?

00:37:32What is he, your boyfriend now?

00:37:34Come on, babe

00:37:35Don't come on, babe me

00:37:37This is about the stupidest thing I have ever heard

00:37:39We just finished a global health crisis

00:37:42I don't care what the naysayers say

00:37:43He's already had it a bunch of times

00:37:46Wonderful

00:37:47Even better

00:37:48You're just jealous

00:37:50Because something that was in his mouth went into mine

00:37:52Well, yeah

00:37:54I think you got something there

00:37:55Ooh

00:37:56You took used gum from a complete stranger

00:38:00Who can't even acknowledge that we're married

00:38:02And you put it in your mouth

00:38:04And you chewed it

00:38:05No, I didn't chew it

00:38:06I did not chew it

00:38:08I just put the little piece in there to cover up the exposed part

00:38:13Fish on

00:38:13Snap it up

00:38:14Snap it up

00:38:14Drop the tip and peel it

00:38:15Fuck

00:38:16Woo

00:38:16There's an art to it

00:38:17You gotta go up and down

00:38:18That's right, baby

00:38:20Work it

00:38:21Yeah

00:38:21Up and down

00:38:22That's right

00:38:23Up and down

00:38:26You gotta work it

00:38:27Up and down

00:38:28What is it?

00:38:29Oh, mangrove snapper, baby

00:38:34She's a beaut

00:38:35Gonna make a couple tacos out of her

00:38:37Eat that

00:38:38Eat that

00:38:40Jesus Christ, that was my fucking dinner

00:38:42Fuck you, dickwad

00:38:44Fuck you first

00:38:45Keep your hands off my wife, asshole

00:38:48Are you kidding me?

00:38:49I got zero interest in that

00:38:51Why?

00:38:52What's wrong with her?

00:38:53Wait, don't tell me

00:38:55I know exactly what you are

00:38:57You homophobic scumbag

00:38:58Excuse me?

00:38:59You heard me

00:39:01You let's go, Brandon

00:39:03Election-denying dipshit

00:39:04What the hell are you talking about?

00:39:06Motherfucking misogynist

00:39:10My body

00:39:11My rights

00:39:12What did you tell her?

00:39:13I didn't say anything

00:39:16You know, I don't have to listen to this psychotic bullshit

00:39:19The second I saw the two of you

00:39:20I knew you were a couple of anti-american libtards ruining my fucking country

00:39:24You and that prissy-ass, woke-ass dog of yours

00:39:28You're a country?

00:39:30I'm just as american as you are

00:39:32You supremacist fuck

00:39:33And by the way, that attack you just made

00:39:36Let me teach you something

00:39:37It's called an ad hominem fallacy

00:39:39Speak fucking english, bitch

00:39:42It's the least you can do

00:39:44Oh, Bubba

00:39:45You just crossed a very serious line here

00:39:48Congratulations

00:39:49You're in hate crime territory

00:39:52Are you getting this on camera?

00:39:54I think he was referring to the legal term you threw out there

00:39:58I don't give a fine fuck what he was referring to

00:40:01This piece of shit is just another angry white man

00:40:06Unhappy in every element of his life

00:40:08No offense

00:40:09He blames everyone else for his problem

00:40:11He rejects facts

00:40:13He rejects science

00:40:15Why aren't you catching this on camera?

00:40:17This is heavier stuff

00:40:19Audiences tend to go for lighter content

00:40:23You know what?

00:40:24You've gotta stop with the fiancee bullshit

00:40:28This is my wife, DJ

00:40:30We're married

00:40:31Just like you are

00:40:33Our marriage is just as legitimate as yours

00:40:35At least in this moment it still is

00:40:37It is impossible to know what the fuck you people want to be called

00:40:41Because it changes every fucking day

00:40:44Wives and wives, DJ

00:40:46Is that so hard?

00:40:47We're wife and wife

00:40:49Just like you are

00:40:51You know what sickens me most?

00:40:53These two insurgent idiots

00:40:55Who very well may be cousins

00:40:57What?

00:40:58Somehow will always have a marriage that's more legitimate than ours

00:41:03You know what sickens me?

00:41:04You people need a whole fucking month

00:41:07To celebrate your stupid fucking prancing around rainbow

00:41:10Special attention

00:41:11Bullshit

00:41:16Give me a fucking break

00:41:17What?

00:41:19Seriously

00:41:21When is straight people day?

00:41:22Huh?

00:41:22When the hell is straight people day?

00:41:24Explain that one to me

00:41:25Every fucking day is straight people day, DJ

00:41:30Every fucking day

00:41:42Fuck

00:41:48Guys

00:41:50Guys

00:41:57Let's go

00:42:15Thank you

00:42:17I love you.

00:42:27I love you, too.

00:42:31Can I get you your sandwich?

00:42:34I am.

00:42:40How dare that clueless jackass.

00:42:44He's never had to stick his right neck out for anything.

00:42:49He doesn't even recognize his privilege.

00:42:51Titled communist.

00:42:52She has everything handed to her, and it's still not good enough.

00:42:56This would be fucking nice.

00:42:58Like I would know.

00:43:05What are you doing?

00:43:07I'm gonna get us the fuck out of here.

00:43:10By calling us an Uber?

00:43:12No, I'm gonna hire a charter company.

00:43:15Well, and we just leave the boat here?

00:43:17Maybe they could tow us out.

00:43:19I don't know, honey.

00:43:21Okay, well, what if we get Duck Dynasty to help pull us out with their boat?

00:43:26I'm sure they don't want us here either.

00:43:27I am not asking them for anything.

00:43:33Maybe we could tug them out of there.

00:43:35I mean, not to be neighborly or anything, but just to get rid of them.

00:43:39The beach's pretty good.

00:43:41Look how bad the boat's lifting.

00:43:43They're not going anywhere for a while.

00:43:46I used to always judge toothless people like,

00:43:49what the fuck is wrong with you?

00:43:50Fix that shit.

00:43:52And now I'm gonna be one of them.

00:43:54You're not gonna be one of them.

00:43:55We are gonna get it fixed.

00:43:56Check it out.

00:44:08Sucks to be them.

00:44:09Yes, it does.

00:44:15Buddy, you gotta eat something.

00:44:17Eat, buddy.

00:44:18Come on.

00:44:19He ate this morning.

00:44:22He's fine.

00:44:26Oh, my God, of course.

00:44:28What are we supposed to do?

00:44:30Are you kidding?

00:44:31You're the one who took the online boating class.

00:44:34Yeah, but it was all crap.

00:44:35Like, how many times to honk your horn when you're going around a barge?

00:44:38Why do I feel like I have to handle everything?

00:44:41All you do is play on your phone and relax and do whatever it is you do.

00:44:45Do I look relaxed to you?

00:44:47No.

00:44:48It would just be so nice for ones to be taken care of.

00:44:52Is this because I gave the dog a piece of your sandwich?

00:44:55Where's your sandwich?

00:44:57I might have split it with DJ earlier.

00:45:04Where are the leaves?

00:45:07Babe, look.

00:45:08Look.

00:45:08I'm gonna use one of those leaves that you got me.

00:45:11Oh, my God.

00:45:15You know what?

00:45:16I think they're working all right.

00:45:18I think they're actually working.

00:45:21And we're sure there's not a good way in this, right?

00:45:27Would it be okay if I put the dental putty back in?

00:45:32You mean that dickwad's used gum?

00:45:36Go ahead.

00:45:36If it's okay with you, I think I'm gonna cry.

00:45:52Of course.

00:45:54Thank you for letting me know.

00:45:58Yeah.

00:45:58At least the rain may get us out of here sooner.

00:46:07You're not supposed to do that.

00:46:09Do what?

00:46:11The whole toxic optimism thing.

00:46:13You're trying to talk us out of our feelings.

00:46:15You're right.

00:46:16I'm sorry.

00:46:17No, it's okay.

00:46:18Okay.

00:46:19I can't tell.

00:46:24Are you crying?

00:46:29Yeah, I am.

00:46:32What can I do?

00:46:35Maybe console me?

00:46:36I just wish that you cared about me half as much as you care about the dog.

00:46:55My eyes have seen the glory of the coming of my wife.

00:47:18She is trampling out the vintage, drinking lots of herbal light.

00:47:25Okay, I'm good.

00:47:26I'm good.

00:47:27No more?

00:47:28No, I'm good.

00:47:33Are you still crying?

00:47:35Mm-hmm.

00:47:37Yeah.

00:47:37I should be eating snapper right now, or that shark.

00:47:59Better yet, feminist ho-bags.

00:48:01I'm watching you.

00:48:04What the hell is this?

00:48:08It's a vegan burger.

00:48:09Oh, fuck.

00:48:10What?

00:48:11Come on.

00:48:12I saw it on that Paris cooking show.

00:48:14Are you fucking...

00:48:15You didn't even fucking try it.

00:48:17I thought you checked the weather this morning.

00:48:20I did.

00:48:21This morning.

00:48:24Well, at least the rains can cool things down.

00:48:30I wouldn't want to be them right now.

00:48:32I wouldn't want to be them ever.

00:48:36I'm gonna go get them.

00:48:37Hmm.

00:48:38The hell you are.

00:48:40What?

00:48:40It's the right thing to do.

00:48:42Then you can stay down in your gutter right there if you want,

00:48:44but personally, I like to take the hog-bags.

00:48:47Since when?

00:48:48I thought you loved country music.

00:48:50Not today.

00:48:54Hey!

00:48:56Y'all want to come hang out here with us to the rave stop?

00:48:58No, thank you!

00:49:04I think I'm fit.

00:49:05Two parts and ten.

00:49:07What?

00:49:08I'm not going.

00:49:09You can.

00:49:11Oh, my God.

00:49:13Thank you so much.

00:49:21Touch yourself!

00:49:22Oh, for fuck's sake!

00:49:41Knock, knock!

00:49:42Ugh.

00:49:48Thank you for having us.

00:49:49Like a clown car in here.

00:49:51Jesus Christ.

00:50:02Yes, she doesn't.

00:50:05At least nobody in here has COVID.

00:50:07Stop it.

00:50:08Can I get y'all a drink or something?

00:50:22This...

00:50:23This is pretty much just beer and white claws, but...

00:50:27We're fine.

00:50:28Thanks.

00:50:29I'll be fine.

00:50:32Oh, no, thanks.

00:50:33Thanks.

00:50:38What the hell's wrong with him anyway?

00:50:52He's not a huge fan of getting soaked.

00:50:54We'll be fine.

00:51:07Hear us...

00:51:08Hear us.

00:51:10We have a car on it.

00:51:10Shut the car on.

00:51:12Get in myself.

00:51:13-

00:51:17Hear us.

00:51:18Hear us.

00:51:19Hear us.

00:51:20마지막

00:51:20vengeance.

00:51:20Hear us.

00:51:21Hear us.

00:51:21Help us.

00:51:22Hear us.

00:51:23Hear us.

00:51:24What kind of music y'all want to listen to? George Michael?

00:51:35What about that guy who fucked his cousin?

00:51:37Allegedly, that was Ricky Martin.

00:51:41But we're going to be getting out of here as soon as the rain stops next.

00:51:50Y'all are vegetarians, right?

00:51:51How would you like a delicious vegan-style hamburger?

00:51:56We're not vegans or vegetarians, thank you very much.

00:52:01But at least she made you a sandwich.

00:52:04My wife gave my sandwich to the dog.

00:52:09More toxic optimism, babe.

00:52:13Jesus.

00:52:14Sorry, Genesis!

00:52:17Y'all into the Bible?

00:52:19She's our therapist.

00:52:19When you tell someone to look at the bright side, you're actually discounting their feelings.

00:52:24Oh, man.

00:52:32How do you have a signal?

00:52:34She doesn't need it for that.

00:52:35Boy, have they got her number.

00:52:38The money she spends on that game.

00:52:39Oh, yeah.

00:52:40And who makes that money?

00:52:42The money she spends.

00:52:43And you spend more than your fair share of money on bullshit.

00:52:48So sweet.

00:52:53Speak of the devil.

00:52:56Oh, we're fine.

00:52:57Thanks.

00:52:58Does my patriotism offend you?

00:53:00Not at all.

00:53:01I love my company.

00:53:04Huh.

00:53:05You know, she really does.

00:53:08Why does that surprise you?

00:53:10Are we somehow less of American than you?

00:53:13Not at all.

00:53:15My bad.

00:53:15I like it.

00:53:26Nicotine or cannabis?

00:53:28Who's asking?

00:53:33Jesus Christ, TJ.

00:53:35Turn your head.

00:53:36It's not COVID.

00:53:38Okay.

00:53:39Still cover your fucking mouth.

00:53:41Super Lemon Haze.

00:53:45It's weed, right?

00:53:47It's, it's DJ's Pepe.

00:53:52You suck.

00:53:54Babe.

00:53:55What?

00:53:56How do you use this thing anywhere?

00:53:58You just put it in your mouth and suck it.

00:54:01Should I wipe it off first?

00:54:04Your spit's already been in my wife's mouth.

00:54:06I think we're good.

00:54:07I don't think you should be doing that.

00:54:09Okay, Mom.

00:54:10No, come on.

00:54:11You know what I'm talking about.

00:54:13What?

00:54:14You think I'm going to get high all the time now?

00:54:18Yeah.

00:54:20Jesus Christ.

00:54:23Atta girl.

00:54:25She's got major beheading men issues.

00:54:29Fuck off.

00:54:30I'm sorry what you do.

00:54:33Oh.

00:54:34Okay.

00:54:40Look at us all smoking in peace, Pike.

00:55:02Babe.

00:55:02What did I do now?

00:55:04That's so offensive.

00:55:05Isn't it?

00:55:07See, now what the fuck is so offensive about that?

00:55:10It's only been in about a million movies and TV shows.

00:55:14That's DJ's excuse for everything.

00:55:16If he sees it on TV, then it's got to be okay.

00:55:18I know it's a trope.

00:55:20I was just being ironic.

00:55:22And besides, I can say that.

00:55:25Because I'm part Native American.

00:55:26Really?

00:55:28Mm-hmm.

00:55:29Mm-hmm.

00:55:30Most Mexicans are at least 20% Native American.

00:55:34Hmm.

00:55:34I did not know that.

00:55:36The things one learns when stuck on a deserted island.

00:55:39Ow.

00:55:45Oh, my God.

00:55:48Ow.

00:55:49Ow.

00:55:53We're just having fun here.

00:55:55So it's fun when you say so, but otherwise not so much.

00:55:59Womp, womp.

00:56:01Why are you such a party pooper?

00:56:05So, DJ, the ganja's your thing?

00:56:07I'll say.

00:56:09I think it's important to have an outlet.

00:56:13Here we go.

00:56:14DJ's weed playlist.

00:56:23Liz isn't so great at dealing with reality, either.

00:56:26You're not.

00:56:27She likes to call it focusing on the positive,

00:56:29but really, it's sweeping everything under the rug.

00:56:37Potato.

00:56:39Oh, my God.

00:56:42I think I know why I pick on you.

00:56:44Why?

00:56:46Oh, you're going to love it.

00:56:47Because you're so happy all the time, and I'm not.

00:56:51And it pisses me off because I want to be, and I try to be,

00:56:55and then I get more upset because I feel like there's something wrong with me.

00:56:58Oh, my God, sweetheart.

00:56:59Oh, my God, sweetheart.

00:57:01I'm not happy, either.

00:57:04You're not.

00:57:06Nope.

00:57:07It's just a show.

00:57:09I'm just completely covering for all my pains.

00:57:12Oh, my God, babe, I knew it.

00:57:14All along deep down, I knew it.

00:57:17Oh.

00:57:19Oh, my miserable self loves you.

00:57:21You remind me of, um, what's her bucket?

00:57:31Ellen.

00:57:32Yes!

00:57:33That's it!

00:57:34How'd you know?

00:57:36We're both lesbians.

00:57:37Yes!

00:57:38Yes!

00:57:38Hey, what are you doing?

00:57:54So tell me, DJ, why is it that you feel the need to check out?

00:58:02I'll give you my reasons, but tell me yours first.

00:58:06Hmm.

00:58:06It's an excellent question.

00:58:09I've never really thought about it before.

00:58:13I guess it's because my life didn't turn out how I thought it would.

00:58:20I played baseball in high school.

00:58:22Our son Gavin plays baseball.

00:58:24What position?

00:58:25Babe, let him finish.

00:58:27Oh, I'm sorry.

00:58:28I just got excited.

00:58:29Please continue, DJ.

00:58:31And you know what?

00:58:31I'm sorry that I picked on you.

00:58:33Please continue being excited.

00:58:34Deej?

00:58:39I pitched.

00:58:40That's all there is to it.

00:58:41I think I thought I was better than I probably was.

00:58:44I bet you were great.

00:58:46I can tell.

00:58:47Williamson College of the Trades wanted me.

00:58:49For baseball?

00:58:51It's in Pennsylvania.

00:58:52Good for you.

00:58:54But then he went and got his practice wife pregnant.

00:58:57Tale as old as time.

00:58:59She wasn't my practice wife at the time.

00:59:00We got married after that.

00:59:05What happens to a dream different?

00:59:09Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?

00:59:12Run or fester and then run?

00:59:17Babe?

00:59:18What?

00:59:19I'm just trying to relate.

00:59:21Is that what that was?

00:59:23Are you?

00:59:24Yeah.

00:59:26Liz went to Stanford.

00:59:27Who cares?

00:59:28I studied comparatively before law school, so sue me.

00:59:35So, Deej, is that why you...

00:59:37Because you didn't get to play college baseball like you hoped?

00:59:46Junior college baseball.

00:59:48Hey, we're not going to start somewhere.

00:59:52It makes a lot of sense.

00:59:55I've never thought about it that way before.

00:59:57Uh, it's pretty basic shit, boo.

01:00:00You're not happy.

01:00:01You numb out.

01:00:01Case closed.

01:00:03What?

01:00:04You thought you smoked your way out of the Navy because you were so thrilled with your life?

01:00:09I got a zero tolerance policy.

01:00:13I didn't have any follow through on that one either.

01:00:14It's like business ain't easy, compadre.

01:00:20Sometimes it feels like everybody's winning but me.

01:00:32Shit.

01:00:35It feels really good to face this shit.

01:00:39You know, I have spent all my life...

01:00:44People-pleasing, trying to make everyone else happy.

01:00:49And it is absolutely exhausting.

01:00:53Well, then why do you do it?

01:00:54Because I'm deathly afraid of conflict.

01:00:57You could have fooled me.

01:01:00So I had a tough mom who had way too many expectations of me.

01:01:04And I spent so much time trying to make her happy and win her approval.

01:01:09And that was never going to happen because she hated you for being gay.

01:01:12That's right, she did.

01:01:13Man, that's got to suck.

01:01:16I mean, not only were you Mexican...

01:01:18Still am.

01:01:20Right.

01:01:20So you're still Mexican, and then you're also this other thing.

01:01:25Gay.

01:01:25You can say it.

01:01:27Gay.

01:01:28And then you got your whole family turning on you.

01:01:31And, of course, my mom had to die, like, a couple years ago.

01:01:35But now I can never make it right with her.

01:01:39That fucking blows.

01:01:45What if you don't need to make it right with your dead mom?

01:01:48What if you just need to make it right with you, in here?

01:02:00What is that?

01:02:02It's the ASL sign for I love you.

01:02:05Are people deaf, too?

01:02:07No.

01:02:10I'm just feeling happy and emotional and connected with you.

01:02:17You are so fucking high, babe.

01:02:20I am.

01:02:21I really am.

01:02:25Hey, Jody.

01:02:26Hmm?

01:02:27You're a wonderful wife most of the time.

01:02:31Thank you for putting up with all my crap.

01:02:33Oh.

01:02:33And I put up with your crap, too.

01:02:37Yeah, but it's not a competition, babe.

01:02:40I put up with so much from you.

01:02:42Oh, my God.

01:02:43I don't want to hear it.

01:02:46Hey.

01:02:48You and me are the only males here, buddy.

01:02:52We are stuck on an island with a bunch of angry Karen.

01:02:55Oh, thank you.

01:02:57Karen?

01:02:58I'm not a Karen.

01:02:59That makes no sense.

01:03:00Hey, give me five.

01:03:01Here you go.

01:03:02Give me a little five.

01:03:02I'm a lesbian and a Latina.

01:03:04Welcome to my world.

01:03:06And what about you, Ams?

01:03:08What's your story?

01:03:09Uh, I don't know.

01:03:11My childhood was normal enough, I guess.

01:03:14I heard worse.

01:03:16Come on.

01:03:18What is normal anyway?

01:03:21What are your goals and dreams?

01:03:24What gets you out of bed in the morning?

01:03:26That shit's just a time suck.

01:03:29I mean, it's just setting you up for disappointment.

01:03:33Well, look how great your life turned out anyway.

01:03:36You're happily married.

01:03:38You've got wonderful kids and grandkids.

01:03:40You admit them.

01:03:41I mean, isn't that what you're supposed to do anyway?

01:03:44Get married and have babies?

01:03:47I mean, what else the hell is there?

01:03:48Whatever you want.

01:03:50Life is what you make of it.

01:03:51Yeah.

01:03:52Okay.

01:03:53Pollyanna.

01:03:54Jesus.

01:03:55That sounds like an awful lot.

01:04:06Bravo.

01:04:07Encore.

01:04:09Encore.

01:04:09She had you guys, didn't she?

01:04:11Did you fall for all her woe is me bullshit?

01:04:15I used to.

01:04:16My mama left us.

01:04:17My daddy beat on us.

01:04:19And then there's the one she'll tell you that I made her give up the baby.

01:04:24But she didn't want it either.

01:04:25That's not true.

01:04:27I would have kept it if the situation was better.

01:04:29Not having any money or because we were married to other people?

01:04:32Both.

01:04:34That's a load of crap and you know it.

01:04:36I didn't want it.

01:04:37You didn't want it.

01:04:39Neither of us did.

01:04:48Let's see if the rain's let up.

01:04:55You mean, nope.

01:05:00So, wait a minute.

01:05:03If you had an abortion, which I am in no way judging you for, I'm pro-choice if you could have guessed.

01:05:11Not that I advocate killing babies.

01:05:14It's just that I think everyone should have the choice.

01:05:17My point is, why are you anti-abortion now?

01:05:21Who says they are a baby?

01:05:22Oh, we are.

01:05:24Both of you?

01:05:26So how can you be against it when you guys went through it yourselves?

01:05:31Well, it's just like you said.

01:05:33We're against it because we went through it.

01:05:35I don't think a day goes by that I don't think about that baby and what he could have been.

01:05:40Or she.

01:05:41And what my life might have been like with them in it.

01:05:45Look at you all gender inclusive.

01:05:49Them?

01:05:50What?

01:05:56Let me give you a hug.

01:05:57I'm not a hugger.

01:05:58Are you sure?

01:06:07You're not filming this, are you?

01:06:10Um, yeah, but it's for Genesis.

01:06:12I think she'd be really proud of you.

01:06:15Tell me you didn't do anything with that video of me singing and dancing.

01:06:18I did, uh, try to do a live broadcast, but I didn't have reception.

01:06:24So you deleted it, correct?

01:06:27Correct.

01:06:34Now don't get any ideas here, Amber.

01:06:36I already told you I don't eat pussy.

01:06:39Oh, that's right.

01:06:40Oh, holy shit.

01:07:07Longest two hours of my life.

01:07:10Tell me about it.

01:07:15No humping mommy, buddy.

01:07:16Good job, babe.

01:07:20On three, ready?

01:07:25One, two, three.

01:07:26Give it some power.

01:07:35Hang on, hang on.

01:07:36Are you trimmed down?

01:07:40Hang on, hang on.

01:07:43Are you trimmed down?

01:07:56OK, OK.

01:07:57Mash it.

01:07:58Really mash it.

01:07:59Woo!

01:08:01There you go.

01:08:03Woo!

01:08:05What are you fucking talking about?

01:08:07Yeah!

01:08:08Woo!

01:08:09Woo!

01:08:10Woo!

01:08:11Woo!

01:08:16Baby, do we have everything?

01:08:18Yes, babe.

01:08:19Well, thank you so much for helping us get out of here.

01:08:22Oh, it was our pleasure.

01:08:24And thank you so much for harboring us during the storm.

01:08:27That part was not our pleasure.

01:08:30Well, it was real nice meeting y'all.

01:08:33You too.

01:08:35You're just a normal couple.

01:08:37Like, you have fights and hold grudges.

01:08:39And you're just as miserable as we are.

01:08:41That's right.

01:08:42We are.

01:08:43Babe.

01:08:44What?

01:08:45Let's get out of here before it gets dark.

01:08:47Oh.

01:08:48OK.

01:08:49Should we exchange numbers or Insta or?

01:08:52Oh, no.

01:08:53I'm sure we'll run into y'all hair again.

01:08:56How about another hug?

01:08:57Oh.

01:08:58Nope.

01:08:59I'll give you one.

01:09:03Hope you know you are my favorite squaw.

01:09:05DJ.

01:09:06What?

01:09:07I'm just complimenting her in her own language.

01:09:09I knew you were.

01:09:10And you're my favorite cracker.

01:09:12OK.

01:09:13Got it.

01:09:14Bye, you guys.

01:09:15Bye.

01:09:16Y'all be careful.

01:09:17OK.

01:09:18Good luck with you, too.

01:09:19Oh.

01:09:20Thank you so much.

01:09:21We'll let you know how it goes.

01:09:24Pepe.

01:09:25Pepe.

01:09:26Come here.

01:09:27Come here.

01:09:28You got it, babe?

01:09:29Yeah.

01:09:30All right, I got you.

01:09:31Be careful.

01:09:32I got it.

01:09:33I got it.

01:09:34I got it.

01:09:35I got it.

01:09:36I got it.

01:09:37I got it.

01:09:38I got it.

01:09:39I got it.

01:09:40I got it.

01:09:41I got you.

01:09:42All right.

01:09:45Jeez.

01:09:46There they go.

01:09:52That was exhausting.

01:09:54Tell me about it.

01:09:56I thought we were bad.

01:10:07I need a beer.

01:10:08I'll be right back.

01:10:18That was a lot.

01:10:22It's so easy to forget that we all come from the same place.

01:10:26But there's something about being out here on the water.

01:10:29It's a big reminder.

01:10:31OK, Yoda.

01:10:33Seriously.

01:10:34We're all essentially the same.

01:10:36We're all hurting and angry.

01:10:39We all want something we can't have.

01:10:42And we're all looking for a means to escape.

01:10:44But thank God we're not found.

01:10:46Amen to that.

01:10:48Jesus Christ.

01:10:49Yeah.

01:10:50Yeah.

01:10:51Jesus Christ.

01:10:57God.

01:10:58Fuck you!

01:10:59We should probably get that.

01:11:01There you go, babe.

01:11:02OK.

01:11:03Got it?

01:11:04Yeah.

01:11:054 o'clock.

01:11:064.30.

01:11:07No, 3.30.

01:11:08I got it.

01:11:09Can you get closer?

01:11:10Jesus, babe.

01:11:11Come on.

01:11:12Get it down.

01:11:13You got it, babe.

01:11:14Babe, come on.

01:11:15Get it down.

01:11:16You got it, babe.

01:11:17Babe, come on.

01:11:18Get closer.

01:11:19All right, fuck it.

01:11:20Fuck it.

01:11:21Fuck it.

01:11:22Fuck it.

01:11:23Fuck it.

01:11:24All right.

01:11:25How's the tooth?

01:11:26Fine.

01:11:27Come on.

01:11:28Come on.

01:11:29Come on.

01:11:30Come on.

01:11:31Get it down.

01:11:32You got it, babe.

01:11:33Babe, come on.

01:11:34Get closer.

01:11:35All right.

01:11:36Fuck it.

01:11:37Fuck it.

01:11:38Fuck it.

01:11:39All right.

01:11:40How's the tooth?

01:11:41Fine.

01:11:42Fine.

01:11:57Get the dog.

01:11:58Get the dog.

01:11:59I got the dog.

01:12:01Hey.

01:12:02Jesus, babe.

01:12:03Slow down.

01:12:05Why aren't the bumpers out?

01:12:07You didn't tell me to put the bumpers out.

01:12:09How many times have we done this?

01:12:10Too.

01:12:11Many.

01:12:26Hey.

01:12:27Does my chest look red?

01:12:30Shit.

01:12:31Maybe.

01:12:34Fuckin' Sarah Sarah.

01:12:36Fuck.

01:12:37Put any of that shit near your face?

01:12:50I don't know.

01:12:51I might have smelled it to make sure what it was.

01:12:55Jesus Christ.

01:12:56Amber!

01:12:57What?

01:12:58It was an accident!

01:13:01Which hand means money's coming in?

01:13:03I might forget.

01:13:04Could you believe it had been something else?

01:13:06What's that baby?

01:13:07Is your tooth acting up again?

01:13:10Oh my God.

01:13:12Oh.

01:13:13Oh my God.

01:13:15What are you doing?

01:13:16I am taking you to the ER.

01:13:18Oh!

01:13:20He's not coming with us.

01:13:21Then I'm not going!

01:13:28What?

01:13:29It was a gift.

01:13:30You are!

01:13:31He's urgent care.

01:13:32Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of my wife.

01:13:49You need to call 911 for that now.

01:13:53How about strife?

01:13:54Sorry.

01:13:56I have chosen to still love her though she causes me much strife.

01:14:05What about knife?

01:14:09I have opted for death by a thousand cards with a butter knife.

01:14:16That's not funny.

01:14:20There's too many syllables.

01:14:23What about blife?

01:14:24That's not a word.

01:14:29Something with pro-life?

01:14:30That's not funny.

01:14:32I was like someone,

01:15:54Good boy, buddy.

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