How to talk to kids about safety at childcare and spot possible signs of abuse

ABC NEWS (Australia)

The horrific allegations this week about child abuse in Victorian childcare centres have prompted many parents and carers to think about how to talk to their own kids about body safety and how to spot physical and behavioural signs that may indicate abuse.  Clinical psychologist, Dr Ali Fogarty speaks to the ABC and says teaching children the correct biological language can help protect them.

Transcript

00:00It is really tricky with young kids but there's lots of things that parents can do from a

00:05really young age and research shows that teaching kids the correct name for their genitals, so using

00:10the names like penis, scrotum, vulva, vagina, this can be really protective and this can start from

00:16a very young age and using times like bath time, nappy changes and getting dressed to use these

00:22words and using this correct language it gives kids ownership over these parts of their bodies

00:27and helps them understand that they're private just for them and gives them the language to talk

00:31and ask questions with the trusted adult if something ever feels wrong or not quite right.

00:36All right so how detailed though do you get about this without frightening kids

00:41or without jeopardising their innocence? Do you warn about what could happen, what's wrong, what's right?

00:49It's a great question, so using the correct terms for body languages and and talking about feeling

00:54unsafe and unsafe is never going to jeopardise children or make them feel worried about these

01:02things. What it is, what it does do, it teaches them to trust their gut, so helping them understand

01:06that they're in control of their own body and this can start in really simple ways like around consent,

01:12they don't have to hug, kiss or you know even sit on the lap of a friend or relative if they don't want

01:17to if they don't feel comfortable and this can be hard for parents as it as when there's can sometimes

01:23be a social expectation that kids do give nan and pop or other family members a hug or kiss goodbye but

01:28it's really important. We can do other things like offer a high five or a wave or I know for my three

01:34year old it's it's often nothing and that that's really okay and we have to teach them that to trust

01:38what how they feel and helping children trust their gut from a really young age around what feels

01:43comfortable um can help them know if something doesn't feel right in other situations um and

01:50and um and this means that um that they can they learn around who feels safe and who doesn't we can

01:58start having conversations around this from a really early age as well around how they're feeling

02:04whether there are people around them that makes that ever makes them feel yucky or strange inside so

02:09we can use those types of words rather than getting into the nitty-gritty detail of what could happen

02:14we just want to keep talking to them about what what feels good for them and helping them make sense

02:19of things that might feel yucky or strange or not not comfortable for them sure reinforcing that they

02:25have the right to feel safe with with all people is really important absolutely but Ali the children

02:30involved in this week's revelations were so young the oldest was two so you can't talk to them as you

02:36would an older child how young is too young to broach body safety and the rest and and how do you

02:42do it if kids language skills just aren't there yet it is really tricky when we're talking about very

02:47young infants or toddlers who don't have that language and we also know that even older kids

02:52might not directly disclose so with the very young children like infants where language isn't an option

02:58you know parents and caregivers can look out for physical signs like pain or itching or bruising

03:03or bleeding around the genital areas they might also notice that children might engage in sexualized

03:09play and that can be a sign to investigate things a little bit further and there might be other signs

03:13as well like developmental delay so infants or children not meeting milestones that you would

03:18expect or you might notice changes or regression in their behaviors they might be crying more

03:24being more unsettled or changes to their sleep but it's also important to know that these can also be

03:29just a sign of normal developmental changes or leaps but it's always important to reach out to your gp or

03:35trusted mental health professional for more support around these issues if we're not sure as we've

03:40already said the children allegedly involved in the victorian child care case they're so young aren't

03:46they two being the oldest is it likely that a child would remember any abuse if it allegedly happened

03:53before the age of two it's a great question and what we do know is that infants and very young

03:58children who experience trauma can be impacted even if they don't directly recall the events so for

04:04example we might see that as these children grow up they might experience more emotional behavioral

04:09challenges or we might see some of the types of aggressions that i just spoke about in terms of

04:13their behavior but what we also know is that there's lots of supports that can be put in place to buffer the

04:19impacts of these such events these events like creating safe places for the children where they

04:24have their emotional and physical needs met and where they can have safe conversations with trusted

04:28adults to talk about things strong family and community support is really essential and they may

04:34not necessarily but they may need professional support at some point to help them develop emotion

04:39regulation strategies and to make sense of what they might be experiencing in their body when they feel

04:44scared or angry or experience other big emotions finally ali what about parents mental health and

04:50perhaps you know feelings of guilt or feeling scared about sending their kids to child care

04:56yeah look it's a really good question and um it's a really hard time for all parents

05:01and definitely not you know there should be no guilt around sending kids to daycare or

05:05child care it's never the victim's fault parents have the right to know that their child

05:09are going to it's going to be safe when they drop them off at daycare or school or sporting clubs or

05:14other places and it's also important to remember that there's some incredible benefits of daycare and

05:19early learning environments for our children and the reality is that most families use daycare as

05:24part of their village and the community and that these places really need to be a safe space

05:28a safe space dr ali fogerty thank you so much thanks very much

05:33thank you so much

Category

Transcript

Recommended