- 7/3/2025
#CinemaJourney
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00:00I don't know where I was born, but I was found in a car park, literally fresh out of the womb.
00:09Why was I left in another child's pram? Who left me?
00:14This place was the start of my love.
00:17Foundlings, people left as babies, in the most extraordinary places,
00:26often in the first hours or days of life.
00:30Born without trace, the most fundamental aspects of their identities are missing.
00:36I don't know the date I was born, where I was born, who my parents were.
00:43Leaving lives overshadowed by questions.
00:47Do you think that I was actually born in them toilets?
00:49Yeah, yes.
00:53For over six years, we've been investigating these astonishing cases,
00:58using DNA mapping and painstaking detective work, we unlock the past.
01:04I was the first time I ever seen my child as a baby.
01:08And bring the most important news.
01:12It's your first ever blood relative, right?
01:14Yeah, that's it.
01:15You feel so familiar.
01:18That changes lives forever.
01:20Hi.
01:27Hi.
01:27on a cold night in November 1970 a baby was found on the steps outside the maternity wing
01:40of this hospital she was thought to be less than two days old the nurses who took in the newborn
01:47named her an now known as Tina she still lives in stoke you've been somewhere so many times in
01:59your life but never looked at it as I'm looking at it now this place was the start of my life
02:17what happened why did she feel as though that was the best option
02:25it would have been cold in there in me I mean what happened if they didn't open that door
02:33somebody who is in trouble somebody who couldn't cope
02:38somebody who probably needed to sort themselves out and couldn't cope with a baby
02:44maybe she was 16 17 she lost a job didn't have any money
02:51but no support because if you had support you wouldn't do that
02:56when children are placed for adoption there's information about the birth parents and their
03:04circumstances as a foundling the only thing Tina has is a newspaper report of a note she was left
03:12with please take care of my baby she is a lovely baby and I have been turned out of my lodgings
03:19because of her I shall come back for here when I have somewhere to live maybe that's what she
03:28thought she would do but kind of doesn't ring true to me that you would come back surely there would have
03:36been consequences two weeks later she was still in hospital fair-haired and blue-eyed baby Anne is
03:48being treated like a little princess the VIP child has a special eye kept on her 24 hours a day nurses
03:56constantly listen out for her cries and queue to give her a bath in the morning said sister Lawson we do
04:03the VIP mother comes to fetch her soon although we will all cry to see her go
04:10it's just nice to know that people didn't care they were pleading for her to come back
04:19but she obviously didn't feel as though she could that'd be the bit to know why
04:27she must have been in a very dark place
04:31Tina was adopted as a baby by David and Elaine and grew up just a few miles from where she'd been
04:43found I'm lucky in a way that a lot of people didn't have the life I had good upbringing holidays
04:53every year lots of friends but no brothers and sisters just me
04:58Tina stayed in Stoke and started a family with partner Steve
05:05how was the dog on his walk it was good good water made the miles
05:11although Tina always knew she was adopted it wasn't until she was 34 and about to move away
05:19that her mother dropped a bombshell my mom was very possessive over me so she wasn't happy that we
05:25were going she brought down a little pack and just said that's yours now and he opened it all up and
05:31it was the newspaper clippings that said that had been found on the steps there's been a shock to find
05:39that he would just left that was at the point I thought well I'm never gonna know if the police
05:46couldn't find it I was a little mean game found that's why I for many years I've just filed it away
05:52with advances in DNA tracing Tina now might be able to find an answer and following the death of her
06:08adoptive mother she's asked us to take on her case but with that come fears
06:14I know this is what I want and I want to find the truth and what happens
06:27I might be opening a can of worms I don't want to open but just want to see where I come from
06:33and where I started
06:37while we work on the DNA search we've unearthed more press coverage which Tina's never seen
06:45Saturday November the 7th 1970 Charles find baby on steps police in Stoke-on-Trent were still
06:56searching today for a homeless mother who abandoned her newly born baby girl the baby was discovered by
07:03two cleaners at the door of the Hayward Hospital the cleaners answered the doorbell and found the baby
07:08wearing only second-hand clothes asleep on the doorstep she did ring the bell she obviously made
07:17sure somebody came to the door that means I wasn't there for a long time I didn't know how I felt
07:23because she just left me and it would have been cold which obviously expected me to be found feel as
07:30scared
07:39must have been hard for her too
07:44the pencil written note attached to the baby said
07:48i've had to move from london because of the baby she was born this morning
08:00i'm a bit confused if she was from london why would she drive to stoke
08:04i always thought i was from stoke and now that's just thrown her out of cable
08:11she must have known somebody in stoke to know where the maternity hospital was
08:14my brain's gone into overdrive i don't know if it's scary i do want to know i mean mainly i just want
08:24to know what sort of life she had because i know what i had i could fall on
08:28and just to know that she's okay
08:43while the team take up tina's case our next searcher is trying to find out
08:47what happened to him over 40 years ago
08:57september 1984 was a month dominated by royal headlines
09:02with the birth of a new prince known as harry
09:05that same month newborn john scarlett phillips was discovered in the disabled toilets of the leisure
09:14center car park in bletchley milton keens
09:28john had been wrapped in a blanket and placed inside a co-op shopping bag
09:35home
09:37his placenta was still attached i was found by three girls
09:46finding something like that that age crazy absolutely crazy
09:52i'm grateful very grateful that they heard me and found me they're the ones that saved my life
09:59the girls called for help and the baby was taken by ambulance to hospital
10:08staff have named the boy harry after the prince and princesses of wales new baby
10:14most coverage at the time appealed to the mother to come forward with fears for her well-being but
10:20others were less compassionate they named him harry after the prince but this deserted
10:25baby will never live in a palace wow he will never inherit a fabulous fortune
10:32a bloody baby blanket and a court carrier bag were all he was found with
10:41for many years john tried not to think about his beginnings
10:45this is the first time he's been back to the site of the toilet where he was found
10:49i didn't want to search for a very long time being in a place where you know that your story began
10:58it's hard hard to deal with actually just being left there on a cold hard floor
11:06when you've given birth to a baby and within hours
11:10just leaving them who knew about me
11:20left without a note and no other information john has nothing to help make sense of what happened
11:28the question is still there why she did it
11:31why and why
11:40despite the appeals and police inquiries no one came forward john was adopted by john
11:46and marilyn and grew up with big sister debbie
11:49i had a really good childhood i always knew i was a foundling but when you're a kid it messes with you
12:01and you rebel against everything and anyone
12:07had a lot of anger issues a lot of emptiness
12:11and when you're feeling empty you don't know how to feel that
12:14when john was 15 his adoptive mother had a serious accident that left her with brain damage
12:25i then really went off the rails and turned to substance abuse for a couple of years nearly
12:34od'd one day when i was 18 and i never touched anything ever since
12:39john trained as a chef and now lives and works in wiltshire with his wife becky
12:49she's the one that stabilized me stopped me making silly decisions in life
12:56i used to push people away and then she now decided to push through that barrier
13:0221 years later we're still together
13:05three years after we got together our son was born
13:08how was your day at college he's 17 now it was a day really good breakdown of your day
13:15and i had my own family it filled my gap filled my emptiness
13:26as with all foundlings john had no paper trail to lead us to any birth family
13:31so we started our search with his dna but we've already made one amazing breakthrough
13:40hello john
13:41oh hi john is nicky campbell here just checking in the search for your biological family is still ongoing
13:59but i can tell you that we have traced the three girls who found you wow women now obviously okay
14:10and they are delighted that we have found them yeah and they would be thrilled to meet you again oh wow
14:18well i'd like to meet them that is amazing
14:23i want to tell you everything that they can remember
14:26because they would have been the first people to see you apart for your birth mother
14:29no way oh my god
14:34hello hello
14:39you okay
14:41hey i'm tina are you okay thank you yeah
14:45okay nice to meet you
14:47and you're the one who found me i did thank you for saving your life oh god
14:53start me up front thank you so much
14:58do you want to see the hell
15:01okay
15:04kina yeah tara yeah and beth yes in the 40 years we have never ever forgotten you you've always been
15:13in our minds and i just can't believe you i always knew that you were the ones that found me and saved
15:21my just basically saved my life and yeah yeah yeah yeah i can't imagine what it was like for you guys
15:27just say we didn't go swimming that day
15:32when we used to come swimming here we used to have key cards yes and we'd have to let ourselves in
15:39so basically it was the day of skinny skinny trousers looked as if they were sprayed on well
15:49i couldn't get my hand to get the key out the cup up my back pocket okay so that is why we went
15:54in the toilet so i could get the jeans off a bit
15:58i imagine it was surreal i can remember walking in the toilet and you were there on the floor
16:09you cried and i run out there's a baby
16:15they come running in it was sore baby we all run back out what we're going to do what we're going to
16:20do looking up the street couldn't see anybody go back in we could do you crying again it was like
16:26oh my god what didn't touch you that's petrified and then eventually a man and woman come past and
16:34we grabbed them yeah we just left it to them then we had to wait for the police to turn up
16:40being a mother myself i think that poor woman must have gone through a horrific time yeah well yeah just
16:49giving birth to you on her own i mean anything could have happened over there so do you think that i was
16:55actually born in them toilets yeah absolutely yeah was there everything yeah everything yeah you
17:01were just lying there full of what i can only describe as blood and dunk wow do you think she
17:10was still there did you see anyone around other than no no no i didn't see anybody no it did take us
17:17a long time to find somebody to help us to help you i think if we didn't walk in yeah we we don't
17:24know who would have walked in that led us to that toilet yeah it's nice to actually hear the story yeah
17:31from the actual people that found me it was it's it yeah yeah it gets me there it really does
17:38you are a lovely young man thank you turn out the way you are it's good he is so proud of the man
17:45that you have become so you've never found your birth mother no are you looking or yeah actively
17:52searching with a start absolutely yeah yeah start fingers crossed
17:57but before our search in john's case progressed any further he had a result of his own get an alert
18:11on my phone from the dna site you'll have a close match so i swiped down on my phone and it said father
18:27making contact with a close birth family is momentous which is why doing it through an
18:37intermediary is always recommended but john did reply directly to his birth father
18:46i'm going to find out what happened what he discovered hi john hi nicky pleased to meet you
18:52really good to meet you yeah let's go talk on we go thanks for having me today problem i'm really
19:01intrigued about this story how you found out about your birth father what happened i was at work um
19:09and an email come through on my phone i swiped down and it said you have a close match and it said
19:15father what was that feeling like i was a bit shell shocked um we were just putting food out for
19:21service because i was in the middle of work i had to put it to one side how'd you park it i i don't
19:26know i just i just knew i had to get on with work and get on with it so i parked it to the one side what
19:31a pro when i finished work i straight in the car home to tell the wife basically what was going on
19:38and then i got a message on the site from his wife explaining who they were he had no idea about my
19:48existence whatsoever so they were shocked as well as much as we were i'd imagine all the messages were
19:56written by his wife i didn't have any direct contact with him why did your birth father put his dna on
20:04the side because he was put into a foster home and into the system himself he doesn't know who his
20:12biological father is so that i think that's who he was looking for he knew the story of his birth mother
20:17but he was looking for his birth father so he uploaded his dna and find a son yep exactly total
20:27shocker for them yeah imagine that yeah what was his reaction to it did he reach out not really it
20:34was all very matter of fact they gave me quite a lot of painful information that hit me quite hard
20:41it was a bit about his mum and i think that she took a life that's quite a thing to find out yeah you've
20:51never spoken to him nope you've never emailed him nope not directly how do you feel about that i've always
20:57felt that if people want a relationship with me then that's for them to approach me um i suppose that's
21:05because because because i'm found lynn i've always handled rejection quite hard i know it's difficult
21:11but looking at it from all angles these things do take a long long time to work out maybe he's got to
21:17get his head around the fact that you exist it could be yeah i i don't know i don't know that's down to
21:25him in particular you know if he wants a relationship i'm always open was he able to tell
21:30you anything about your birth mother yeah he gave a little information so he met a woman spent the
21:37weekend in her flat and then never saw her again he told me he had two other children so it means i
21:44have two half siblings as soon as i mentioned anything about his other children that was it
21:51it was kind of barriers went up then i mean there are stories behind stories and reasons behind reasons
21:57aren't they but you'd like to meet them absolutely yeah i would like a conversation with him you know
22:05and just just to have some sort of connection you're putting yourself through a lot here with this
22:12experience with your birth father and the contact non-contact are you sure you want to do all this i am
22:19scared quite quite afraid of where it may go you know more disappointment more heartache no matter the
22:32outcomes i still would like to know the whole story i feel like i have to do this now
22:39while we ramp up the search for john's birth mother tina also waits for news you walk past people
22:50sometimes and you'd think oh you never know who could be related to me
22:57i feel like we need to find out who my family is
23:09so what is the latest with tina's search we've identified
23:37her mother and her father and they're both alive they're both alive both of them they were married
23:46for some time and actually had four children they then split up
23:51and then they got together for extremely brief time and tina was conceived during that time did
23:58her birth father know about tina's birth he says not and by the time tina was born
24:05his new partner was also having a child so we've got four full siblings yes and
24:14on her birth father's side with his later partner a half sibling yes so why was she left you can see
24:24immediately what a complicated situation it was her mother had been left with four very very small
24:31children really to fend for herself and then found herself to be pregnant her mother is finding it
24:37extremely difficult at the moment to be found after a secret that has been held for 50 years nobody knew
24:45she was pregnant and the note that tina was found with said that her mother was from london that's right
24:51is it that's not right the whole family are from stoke-on-trent where tina still lives yes this is incredible
24:59it's a complex situation for tina's birth mother and as yet she is not ready to meet tina
25:10it's opening up wounds really from 50 years ago and she will need time tina's birth father is very
25:19unwell at the moment so we are taking things slowly and so tina will not be meeting either of them
25:27at the moment that is the first thing we will need to tell tina after we spoke her mother confided in one
25:35of her daughters and i think now that other members of the family know i think that they understand
25:42the predicament that she was in do you think they will want to reach out to tina oh yes without a doubt
25:49it's been two days since ariel spoke with tina and told her about her birth parents
26:08i'd like to know how she's feeling and i've also got lots more to tell her
26:13tina had a wonderful adoption but what she didn't have was siblings and she's about to get a lot of
26:26those
26:40hi tina hello davina how are you good thanks come in yes please thank you
26:48have a seat thanks very much
26:50how have you been feeling since you spoke with ariel she gave you quite a lot of really big news
26:58it's exciting and then it's nerve-wracking because you don't know what to expect i mean i know they're
27:05alive so now i've got a process in my brain that i have got another mom and dad in a way whereabouts
27:13are they in the uk they do live in stoke oh my life i wasn't expecting that
27:26wow so originally i thought that she must have been from stoke from where she left me
27:31but from when i read that newspaper article the lesson it said that she was from london i presume
27:36that she must know somebody here and had just passed through from stoke then she was from here
27:42the note was possibly to try and throw people off the scent do you know why she left me your
27:51birth mother and father had been together and they had had children
27:59together before you
28:07that one's gonna take a minute
28:12well there are four of them four a matter of five
28:24a number five jeez you've got a brother and three sisters
28:32so why was that different
28:33when you were conceived they weren't in a relationship anymore
28:41so is it broken down at that point he'd left
28:46and in fact his new wife was pregnant at the time you were conceived
28:53jeez there's lots of us so you have a half sister who's roughly the same age as you
28:58i don't know about me then they do now they didn't they had no idea your siblings have told us that
29:12your birth mother was struggling to make ends meet with four children on her own
29:18it was really tough i understand i was just a bit shocked with the other four that was all
29:26and i'd always thought about it was that it was somebody who was young
29:30and had had a mishap and thought i didn't have anybody to tell
29:36one of your sisters has written you a letter
29:39hi i'm your older sister i haven't come into this lightly there has been a lot of tears and upset
29:53mum has locked everything away she has been very protective over her children and now we all know why
29:59mum didn't give you away lightly she did give birth to you by herself on the settee and then walked
30:1045 minutes to the hospital where she knew you would be taken care of
30:16we hope that you were adopted by good parents which is all your mum wanted as she already had four
30:21children and was rearing us all by herself as he had gone it has brought a lot of hurt back to mum and
30:29we are hoping if she meets you all her pain and hurt will go away
30:37looking forward to actually meeting you lots of love for your sister
30:41that's really nice
30:58none of them knew
31:04she must have been petrified
31:08from what I read there
31:13I wasn't the problem
31:15she did what she had to do
31:18if it hurts
31:21it's just
31:22I guess it does in a little bit
31:27because a little bit of your gut
31:28even though whatever you feel
31:30as though you weren't good enough
31:31yeah
31:32but I don't hold anything against her at all
31:36and if she can't see me
31:40because it hurt too much
31:41then I can accept that
31:43I've been asked to say hello one day
31:45but I can live with the questions answered
31:4854 years since her birth mother walked to the hospital
32:05rang the doorbell and walked away
32:08Tina is meeting her sisters for the first time
32:12I'm nervous
32:17very nervous
32:18I'm meeting people who are related to me
32:22but who are complete strangers
32:25it's exciting as well
32:33I'm just all over the place
32:35it's a big thing to get it from an only child to a huge family
32:41I imagine it's probably harder for them
32:46to protect their parents identity
32:48Tina's sisters have asked for their meeting not to be filmed
32:52why hello
32:59had a hug
33:01yeah
33:02oh god
33:03I'm sorry if I've caused a blaze of upheaval
33:13no no no
33:14I didn't mean to do that
33:16no it's just
33:16it's like shock
33:18you know what I mean
33:18I didn't do it to ace anybody
33:20I just
33:20no it's not you
33:22you've got a right to know where you're from
33:24well that's all I wanted
33:25I've had a great life and I'm happy
33:27I would like you and mum to go for coffee
33:32she feels guilty
33:33you okay sweetheart
33:36that two are good
33:37because I've got no grudges
33:38and if she's holding some sort of pain and whatever for doing it
33:41I'm fine
33:42it was nice
33:46today's been quite a big day
33:47I've met sisters that I didn't even dream would exist
33:53you do see resemblances
33:56I am quite little
33:58but they're all little too
34:00so it's obviously in the blood
34:01I know who I am now
34:07and that's not just me
34:13I've got a big family
34:16not a little one anymore
34:19not the best upbringing
34:21and I'm happy
34:22and even though I'm crying right now
34:24I'm still happy
34:25but no
34:27I don't want it to feel guilty anymore
34:29just let it go
34:30I'm good
34:31for John Scarlett Phillips
34:49left as a newborn baby
34:51in a leisure centre toilet
34:52we finally have a significant update
34:56so what's the news
34:58well we have found John's birth mother
35:02is she still alive
35:03she is
35:04wow
35:05it's not the person
35:06that his birth father
35:08thought it might be
35:09oh right
35:11someone entirely different
35:12I mean
35:13that's been discovered through DNA
35:15but of course she has confirmed it too
35:18she was a young woman
35:23her marriage had broken up
35:24she had two very young children
35:28her daughters
35:29and I suspect
35:32surprisingly found herself
35:36pregnant
35:37with John
35:38and I think she could not cope
35:41when she left him
35:43you know
35:43she was in a
35:44mentally
35:45in a very
35:46very bad place
35:47I think she had not
35:50acknowledged
35:51her pregnancy
35:52even to herself
35:53and so her
35:55the birth mother's husband
35:56isn't John's father
35:57he's not
35:58and she didn't tell anyone
35:59nobody knew at all
36:01wow
36:02she is not yet ready to meet him
36:05but
36:06John has two
36:08half sisters
36:09and they now know
36:11and they've been able to talk with her about it
36:15they're very supportive
36:16fantastic
36:17they are longing to meet
36:19really
36:20straight away
36:20it's too early to know
36:29if John's birth mother
36:30will ever want contact
36:31it's such a sensitive situation
36:35but there are two sisters
36:37who really want to meet him
36:39so rather than wait any longer
36:41I'm going to tell John
36:42what we know
36:43for now
36:44and move forward
36:46one step at a time
36:47hey John
36:57hi Davina
36:57please come in
36:58thank you
36:59thanks so much for talking to me
37:04John
37:04how are you feeling
37:06a little anxious
37:07always wanting to move forward
37:10I just want some final answers
37:12just the why
37:14there's always circumstances
37:15which as you get older
37:16you learn
37:17to take into consideration
37:19other points of view
37:20yeah when you're a child
37:22I think
37:22life is
37:23well simple
37:25you just think
37:25well they didn't want me
37:26and I just got abandoned
37:27and I think as you grow older
37:29you've realised
37:30that life's complicated
37:31yes
37:31I have got
37:32some news
37:33okay
37:34we know
37:35who
37:35your birth mother is
37:37wow
37:38okay
37:39is she still alive
37:41she's still alive
37:43okay
37:43that's good
37:44that's very good
37:46that was one of my fears
37:48was it
37:49yeah
37:50that's a lot
37:53yeah it is
37:54go on shaking
37:56I get that
37:59your mother
38:02knows that
38:04you are looking
38:06and she
38:07was very
38:08shocked
38:09as she
38:10believed that
38:12she would
38:13never be found
38:14so she is not
38:15ready for contact
38:15right now
38:16okay
38:17I can understand it
38:20I don't know
38:21if I could face up
38:22to something like that
38:23either
38:24she was 20
38:25she was married
38:27at the time
38:28but she was
38:30splitting up
38:31with her husband
38:31her husband
38:33isn't your father
38:35you knew that
38:35yes
38:36it wasn't
38:37the woman
38:38your birth father
38:40thought it was
38:41wow
38:41okay
38:42she didn't want
38:44anyone to know
38:45she was pregnant
38:46and she kept it
38:47completely hidden
38:48and she just
38:49was not
38:49in a good
38:51mental state
38:51at all
38:52and so
38:55splitting up
38:56you know
38:57had a fling
38:58terrible place
39:00in her mind
39:01and
39:02two children
39:03older
39:06aged two and three
39:08wow
39:09her two daughters
39:11now
39:12know about you
39:13and
39:14how you were left
39:16do they want to meet me
39:18they really want to meet you
39:19wow
39:20that's a
39:21that's good
39:23that's a positive
39:24is it
39:24your sisters
39:26have written you
39:28a letter
39:29wow
39:29wow
39:29okay
39:40so
39:41to our long lost brother
39:42John
39:43we are writing this letter
39:44to express to you
39:45how delighted we are
39:46to learn you have a brother
39:47finding out
39:49about you
39:51has been a complete
39:51rollercoaster of emotions
39:53initially
39:54initially we were
39:55heartbroken
39:55and devastated
39:56to find out
39:57how many years
39:58we have missed together
39:59however
40:00as emotions settled
40:01we were left
40:02with such happiness
40:03that you are here
40:04we realise
40:05and learning about us
40:06today will also
40:07be a shock to you
40:08but we want you to know
40:10that you have a family
40:11and we will try and
40:12help you piece everything
40:13together as much as we can
40:14we have 40 years
40:15to catch up on
40:16and a very long
40:17bucket list
40:17we would like you to know
40:19you have two loving
40:21sisters wanting to be
40:22a part of your life
40:23we are so looking
40:26forward to meeting you
40:27wow
40:28wow
40:31it's amazing
40:34yeah
40:46it's amazing
40:48it's just a whirl
40:50of emotions
40:51a whirl
40:53of emotions
40:54it's like a
40:55tornado going off
40:56at the moment
40:57they found
41:02my birth mother
41:03she's not ready
41:05yet
41:06yep
41:07and I also have
41:08two sisters
41:09who really want
41:10to meet me
41:10wow
41:11I'm so pleased
41:12for you baby
41:13amazing
41:19mmhmm
41:20today
41:26John is going to
41:28meet his sisters
41:28for the first time
41:30just a few miles
41:31from where he was
41:32found 40 years ago
41:33it's a big deal
41:36it is a really big deal
41:38it's something
41:39that he's missed
41:40his entire life
41:42and now he's ready
41:44very ready
41:45oh you're going to do great
41:48everything will be fine
41:50love you
41:51love you too
41:52the whole journey
41:56the whole journey was
41:57to get the answers
41:58I'm looking forward to
42:07starting a whole new
42:09chapter of life
42:10and hopefully
42:10they'll be part of that
42:11hello
42:26hello
42:26hi
42:27hi
42:28very nice to meet you
42:29I'm the oldest
42:31we're not showing
42:33John's sisters
42:33to protect the identity
42:35of their mother
42:36oh
42:37so great
42:38in advance of meeting
42:47they asked us about
42:49John's interests
42:50we found out you're a big
42:51Lord of the Rings fan
42:52well yes
42:53that is so brilliant
42:55I could be like cinnamon
42:56I love cinnamon
42:58because I'm a chef
42:59really
43:00do you know that
43:02we love cooking
43:03got your letter
43:05you kind of broke me a little
43:06that was beautiful
43:08no it was a beautiful letter
43:10thank you
43:10it was a beautiful letter
43:12we were worried
43:12if we were going to be
43:13too intense
43:14no it's absolutely fine
43:15that's absolutely great
43:16because we've always
43:18wanted a brother
43:18well you know
43:19I've got one
43:19yay
43:20and I'm not going anywhere
43:21that's go
43:22that's Mary go
43:23we never knew
43:26never had any inkling
43:28nothing
43:29so once we found Elle
43:32straight down to mum's
43:34she's very shocked
43:35because she never thought
43:38that anybody would find out
43:40she has sent you message
43:42for today
43:43hi
43:45I've sent this message
43:47to the girls
43:47so they can let you know
43:49the reasons why
43:49I'm not with them today
43:51unfortunately
43:52I feel unable
43:53both physically
43:55and mentally
43:55to come today
43:56following a long period
43:58of illness
43:59and I really want
44:01and need
44:01for my health
44:02to be much improved
44:04mentally
44:05I am really struggling
44:06with all sorts of feelings
44:08of guilt
44:09shame
44:09and so many other feelings
44:11which I need to process
44:13so I don't fall apart
44:14I hope your meeting
44:16goes really well
44:17and again
44:18I am so so sorry
44:20that I didn't come with them
44:21and hope you can understand
44:23and forgive me
44:24I just let her know
44:28that I don't hold
44:29any grudges
44:30at all
44:31I don't
44:33I don't hold any
44:35I
44:35I can't imagine
44:37holding a secret like that
44:38for 40 years
44:39well
44:40we never knew anything
44:41exactly
44:42nothing at all
44:43nothing
44:44that's hard to do
44:46we'd known at the time
44:47even being two and three
44:48me so would have got on the bus
44:49and Kevin got you
44:49yeah
44:51well
44:52it's not a no John
44:53it's not a no
44:54it's just time
44:56yeah
44:56hearing the message
44:59from my birth mother
44:59it's a lot to take in
45:01and understand
45:02my sister spoke to my birth mum
45:05and apparently
45:06she did hang around
45:08and wait until I was found
45:09there was an album
45:13full of family photos
45:14phenomenal
45:15I didn't expect it
45:16we actually think
45:18she's pregnant
45:19in this one
45:20some of us
45:24as little ones
45:25we think also
45:26she might be pregnant there
45:29as she hid it very well
45:30I have
45:33a mix of emotions
45:34to be honest with you
45:34I would like to meet
45:37my birth mother
45:38and
45:39just hope that she
45:40would understand
45:42that I don't hold
45:43anything against her
45:44and
45:44it was just nice
45:46to have a conversation
45:46and
45:47to see where it goes from there
45:49to like gain the frames
45:52we watched it all
45:52and House of the Dragon
45:53we're quite a lot alike
45:55even though we never
45:56grew up together
45:56you know who you are now
45:58don't you
45:58you're our John Snow
45:59yes
46:00especially because it snowed
46:01this morning
46:02it was just
46:02like on it
46:03yeah
46:04I feel a lot lighter
46:06I feel a bit more full
46:07as well
46:08that emptiness
46:09has disappeared completely now
46:10I'm a happy man
46:19and if you've been affected
46:28by issues raised
46:30in tonight's programme
46:31you can visit
46:32itv.com
46:33slash
46:34advice
46:34for support
46:35information
46:36you
46:38you
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