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Long Lost Family Born Without Trace Season 7 Episode 2 - Full
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00:00I don't know where I was born, but I was found in a car park, literally fresh out of the womb.
00:09Why was I left in another child's pram? Who left me?
00:14This place was the start of my life.
00:17Foundlings. People left as babies.
00:21In the most extraordinary places.
00:26Often in the first hours or days of life.
00:30Born without trace, the most fundamental aspects of their identities are missing.
00:36I don't know the date I was born, where I was born, who me parents were.
00:43Leaving lives overshadowed by questions.
00:47Do you think I was actually born in them toilets?
00:49Yeah, absolutely.
00:53For over six years, we've been investigating these astonishing cases.
00:58Using DNA mapping and painstaking detective work, we unlock the past.
01:05I was the first time I ever seen my child as a baby.
01:08And bring the most important news.
01:12It's your first ever blood relative, right?
01:14Yeah, that's it.
01:15You feel so familiar.
01:18That changes lives forever.
01:20I...
01:27On a cold night in November 1970, a baby was found on the steps outside the maternity wing of this hospital.
01:41She was thought to be less than two days old.
01:45The nurses who took in the newborn named her aunt.
01:48Now known as Tina, she still lives in Stoke.
01:57You've been somewhere so many times in your life, but never leaped at it as I'm looking at it now.
02:03This place was the store to me, love.
02:21What happened?
02:23Why did she feel as though that was the best option?
02:25It would have been cold, didn't it, remember?
02:31I mean, what happened if they didn't open that door?
02:35Somebody who was in trouble.
02:37Somebody who couldn't cope.
02:41Somebody who probably needed to sort themselves out and couldn't cope with the baby.
02:44Maybe she was 16, 17, she lost a job, didn't have any money, but no support.
02:54Because if you had support, you wouldn't do that.
02:59When children are placed for adoption, there's information about the birth parents and their circumstances.
03:06As a foundling, the only thing Tina has is a newspaper report of a note she was left with.
03:12Please take care of my baby.
03:16She is a lovely baby and I have been turned out of my lodgings because of her.
03:21I shall come back for her when I have somewhere to live.
03:27Maybe that's what she thought she would do, but...
03:30..it kind of doesn't ring true to me that you would come back.
03:35Surely there would have been consequences.
03:38Two weeks later, she was still in hospital.
03:45Fair-haired and blue-eyed baby Anne is being treated like a little princess.
03:51The VIP child has a special eye kept on her 24 hours a day.
03:56Nurses constantly listen out for her cries and queue to give her a bath in the morning.
04:01Said Sister Lawson, we do hope her mother comes to fetch her soon.
04:05Although we will all cry to see her go.
04:13It's just nice to know that people don't care.
04:17They were pleading for her to come back.
04:21But she obviously didn't feel as though she could.
04:25That'd be the bit to know why.
04:29She must have been in a very dark place.
04:31Tina was adopted as a baby by David and Elaine
04:40and grew up just a few miles from where she'd been found.
04:47I'm lucky, in a way, that a lot of people didn't have the life I had.
04:51Good old bringing holidays every year.
04:54Lots of friends.
04:55But no brothers and sisters.
04:57Just me.
04:58Tina stayed in Stoke and started a family with partner Steve.
05:06How was the dog on his walk?
05:08It was good.
05:09Good one to that.
05:10It had been miles.
05:13Although Tina always knew she was adopted,
05:16it wasn't until she was 34 and about to move away
05:19that her mother dropped a bombshell.
05:21My mum was very possessive over me,
05:24so she wasn't happy that we were going.
05:26She brought down a little pack and just said,
05:28that's yours now.
05:29And he opened it all up and it was the newspaper clippings
05:32that said that I'd been found on the steps.
05:37It's a bit of a shock to find out you had just left.
05:40That was at the point I thought, well, I'm never going to know.
05:45If the police couldn't find it, I was a little mean getting found.
05:49That's why, for many years, I've just filed it away.
05:52With advances in DNA tracing,
06:03Tina now might be able to find an answer.
06:06And following the death of her adoptive mother,
06:09she's asked us to take on her case.
06:11But with that come fears.
06:22I know this is what I want,
06:25and I want to find the truth and what happened.
06:28I might be opening a can of worms I don't want to open,
06:31but I just want to see where I come from
06:33and where I started.
06:39While we work on the DNA search,
06:41we've unearthed more press coverage,
06:44which Tina's never seen.
06:48Saturday, November 7th, 1970.
06:52Char's find baby on steps.
06:54Police in Stoke-on-Trent were still searching today
06:57for a homeless mother who abandoned her newly-born baby girl.
07:02The baby was discovered by two cleaners
07:04at the door of the Hayward Hospital.
07:06The cleaners answered the doorbell
07:07and found the baby wearing only second-hand clothes
07:10asleep on the doorstep.
07:13And she did ring the bell.
07:16She obviously made sure somebody came to the door.
07:19That means I wasn't there for a long time.
07:22I didn't know how I felt
07:23because she'd just left me and it would have been cold,
07:25which obviously expected me to be found.
07:29Feel as though she cared.
07:30It must have been odd for her too.
07:44The pencil-written note attached to the baby said,
07:48I have had to move from London because of the baby.
07:51She was born this morning.
07:52I'm a bit confused.
08:01If she was from London, why would she drive to Stoke?
08:04I always thought I was from Stoke.
08:07And now that's just thrown her out of cable.
08:11She must have known somebody in Stoke
08:12to know where the maternity hospital was.
08:14My brain's gone into overdrive.
08:19I don't know if it's scary.
08:22I do want to know.
08:23I mean, mainly, I just want to know
08:24what sort of life she had
08:26because I know what I had.
08:27I can't fault mine.
08:30And just to know that she's OK.
08:32While the team take up Tina's case,
08:45our next searcher is trying to find out
08:47what happened to him over 40 years ago.
08:57September 1984 was a month dominated by royal headlines.
09:02With the birth of a new prince known as Harry.
09:07That same month,
09:10newborn John Scarlet Phillips was discovered
09:12in the disabled toilets of the leisure centre car park
09:15in Bletchley, Milton Keynes.
09:28John had been wrapped in a blanket
09:30and placed inside a co-op shopping bag.
09:37His placenta was still attached.
09:40I was found by three girls.
09:42finding something like that age, crazy, absolutely crazy.
09:52I'm grateful, very grateful that they heard me and found me.
09:57They're the ones that saved my life.
09:59The girls called for help
10:04and the baby was taken by ambulance to hospital.
10:08Staff have named the boy Harry
10:10after the prince and princesses of Wales' new baby.
10:14Most coverage at the time
10:15appealed to the mother to come forward
10:17with fears for her well-being.
10:18They named him Harry after the prince but this deserted baby will never live in a palace.
10:28Wow.
10:30He will never inherit a fabulous fortune.
10:33A blooded baby blanket and a court carrier bag were all he was found with.
10:36For many years, John tried not to think about his beginnings.
10:45This is the first time he's been back to the site of the toilet where he was found.
10:49I didn't want to search for a very long time.
10:55Being in a place where you know that your story began,
10:58it's hard.
10:59Hard to deal with, actually.
11:02Just being left there on a cold, hard floor.
11:06When you've given birth to a baby and within hours...
11:12..just leaving him.
11:15Who knew about me?
11:19Left without a note and no other information,
11:23John has nothing to help make sense of what happened.
11:27The question is still there.
11:30Why she did it?
11:34Why?
11:35And why?
11:39Despite the appeals and police inquiries, no-one came forward.
11:44John was adopted by John and Marilyn and grew up with big sister Debbie.
11:49I had a really good childhood.
11:56I always knew I was a foundling.
11:59But when you're a kid, it messes with you.
12:01And you rebel against everything and anyone.
12:07Had a lot of anger issues, a lot of emptiness.
12:11And when you're feeling empty, you don't know how to feel that.
12:14When John was 15, his adoptive mother had a serious accident
12:20that left her with brain damage.
12:25I then really went off the rails
12:28and turned to substance abuse for a couple of years.
12:33Nearly OD'd one day when I was 18
12:36and I never touched anything ever since.
12:42John trained as a chef
12:44and now lives and works in Wiltshire with his wife, Becky.
12:47She's the one that stabilised me,
12:51stopped me making silly decisions in life.
12:56I used to push people away
12:58and then Gina decided to push through that barrier.
13:0221 years later, we're still together.
13:05Three years after we got together,
13:07our son was born.
13:08How was your day at college?
13:09He's 17 now.
13:11It was a day.
13:12Really good breakdown of your day.
13:15And I had my own family.
13:17It filled my gap, filled my emptiness.
13:26As with all foundlings,
13:28John had no paper trail to lead us to any birth family.
13:32So we started our search with his DNA.
13:35But we've already made one amazing breakthrough.
13:40Hello.
13:41John.
13:42Oh, hi, John.
13:54It's Nicky Campbell here, just checking in.
13:56The search for your biological family is still ongoing.
13:59But I can tell you
14:01that we have traced the three girls who find you.
14:07Wow.
14:07Women now, obviously.
14:09OK.
14:09And they are delighted
14:12that we have found them.
14:14Yeah.
14:14And they would be thrilled to meet you again.
14:18Oh, wow.
14:18Well, I'd like to meet them.
14:20That is amazing.
14:20I want to tell you everything that they can remember.
14:26They would have been the first people to see you,
14:28apart from your birth mother.
14:32No way.
14:33Oh, my God.
14:34Oh, my God.
14:34Oh, my God.
14:34Hello.
14:35Hello.
14:37Hello.
14:37You OK?
14:39Yeah.
14:41Hey, I'm Tina.
14:42Are you OK?
14:43Thank you, yeah.
14:44My fair.
14:46Nice to meet you.
14:47And you're the one that found me.
14:48I did.
14:50Thank you for saving me a lot.
14:51Oh, God.
14:53You can start me up.
14:56Thank you so much.
14:57Do you want to see the house?
15:01OK.
15:02Kina.
15:04Yeah.
15:05Tara.
15:06Yeah.
15:06And Beth.
15:07Yes.
15:09In the 40 years, we have never, ever forgotten you.
15:12You've always been in our minds.
15:15And I just can't believe we're you.
15:17I always knew that you were the ones that found me
15:20and saved my life.
15:22Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:23I can't imagine what it was like for you guys.
15:27Just say we didn't go swimming that day.
15:29No, we've gone our way, but we didn't go in the end.
15:32When we used to come swimming here,
15:35we used to have key cards.
15:37Yes.
15:37And we'd have to let ourselves in.
15:40Somebody couldn't get in his eyes.
15:42So basically, it was the day of skinny, skinny trousers.
15:47Looked as if they were sprayed on.
15:49Well, I couldn't get my hand to get the key out of my back pocket.
15:53OK.
15:53So that is why we went in the toilet,
15:55so I could get the jeans off a bit.
15:58I imagine.
16:02It was surreal.
16:03I can remember walking in the toilet,
16:06and you were there on the floor.
16:09You cried.
16:10And I run out.
16:12There's a baby!
16:15They come running in.
16:17It was sore baby.
16:18We all run back out.
16:19What are we going to do?
16:19What are we going to do?
16:20Looking up the street, couldn't see anybody.
16:23Go back in.
16:24We could hear you crying again.
16:25Yeah.
16:26It was like, oh, my God.
16:27We didn't touch you.
16:28I was petrified.
16:30Oh, my God.
16:30No, we didn't touch her.
16:31Didn't touch her.
16:32And then eventually, a man and woman come past,
16:34and we grab them.
16:36Yeah, we just left it to them then.
16:37Oh, God.
16:37And then we had to wait for the police to turn up.
16:40Being a mother myself,
16:41I think that poor woman
16:44must have gone through
16:46an horrific time
16:48just giving birth to you on her own.
16:51I mean, anything could have happened over there.
16:54So, do you think that I was actually born in them toilets?
16:56Yeah.
16:56Absolutely.
16:57Yeah.
16:58Was there...
16:58Everything.
16:59Yeah.
16:59Everything was there, yeah.
17:01You were just lying there
17:03full of what I can only describe as blood and dunk.
17:08Wow.
17:08Do you think she was still there?
17:11Did you see anyone around other than...
17:13No.
17:14No.
17:14No, I didn't see anybody.
17:16No.
17:16It did take us a long time
17:18to find somebody to help us, to help you.
17:20I think if we didn't walk in...
17:22Yeah, what would happen?
17:23We don't know who would have walked in.
17:26Yeah.
17:26It led us to that toilet.
17:27Yeah.
17:28It's nice to actually hear the story...
17:30Yeah.
17:31..from the actual people that found me.
17:33It was...
17:33It...
17:34Yeah.
17:35Yeah, it gets me there.
17:37It really does.
17:38You are a lovely young man.
17:41Turn out the way you are, it's good.
17:43He is so proud of the man that you have become.
17:47So you've never found your birth mother?
17:49Nope.
17:50Are you looking or...?
17:51Yeah, actively searching.
17:53With a start.
17:54Absolutely.
17:55Yeah, start.
17:56Yeah.
17:57Fingers crossed.
17:58Yes, definitely.
17:59Yeah.
17:59But before our search in John's case progressed any further,
18:07he had a result of his own.
18:10Get an alert on my phone from the DNA site.
18:14You'll have a close match.
18:17So I swiped down on my phone and it said,
18:20Father.
18:32Making contact with a close birth family is momentous.
18:36Which is why doing it through an intermediary
18:38is always recommended.
18:40But John did reply directly to his birth father.
18:45I'm going to find out what happened.
18:48What he discovered.
18:50Hi, John.
18:51Hi, Nicky.
18:51Pleased to meet you.
18:52Really good to meet you.
18:54Yeah?
18:54Let's go talk.
18:55On we go.
18:58Thanks for having me today.
18:59No problem.
19:00I'm really intrigued about this story,
19:03how you found out about your birth father.
19:06What happened?
19:07I was at work.
19:09And an email come through on my phone.
19:12I swiped down and it said,
19:14you have a close match.
19:15And it said, Father.
19:16What was that feeling like?
19:18I was a bit shell-shocked.
19:20We were just putting food out for service
19:22because I was in the middle of work.
19:24I had to put it to one side.
19:25How did you park it?
19:26I don't know.
19:27I just knew I had to get on with work
19:29and get on with it.
19:29So I parked it to the one side.
19:31What a pro.
19:32When I finished work,
19:33I'd straighten the car home
19:35to tell the wife basically what was going on.
19:38And then I got a message on the site
19:41from his wife
19:44explaining who they were.
19:47He had no idea about my existence whatsoever.
19:50So they were shocked.
19:52As well, as much as we were,
19:53I'd imagine.
19:54All the messages were written by his wife.
19:58I didn't have any direct contact with him.
20:00Why did your birth father put his DNA on the site?
20:05Because he was put into a foster home
20:08and into the system himself.
20:10He doesn't know who his biological father is,
20:13so I think that's who he was looking for.
20:15He knew the story of his birth mother,
20:17but he was looking for his birth father.
20:19So he uploaded his DNA
20:21and found a son?
20:24Yep.
20:25Exactly.
20:26Total shocker for them.
20:28Yeah.
20:29Imagine that.
20:30Yeah.
20:31What was his reaction to it?
20:32Did he reach out?
20:33Not really.
20:34It was all very matter-of-fact.
20:35They gave me quite a lot of painful information
20:39that hit me quite hard.
20:41It was a bit about his mum
20:43and I think that she took a life.
20:48That's quite a thing to find out.
20:49Yeah.
20:50You've never spoken to him?
20:52Nope.
20:52You've never emailed him?
20:53Nope, not directly.
20:55How do you feel about that?
20:56I've always felt that
20:58if people want a relationship with me,
21:00then that's for them to approach me.
21:04I suppose that's because I'm a foundling.
21:08I've always handled rejection quite hard.
21:11I know it's difficult,
21:12but looking at it from all angles,
21:14these things do take a long, long time to work out.
21:17Maybe he's got to get his head around the fact that you exist.
21:20It could be, yeah.
21:21Again, I don't know.
21:22I mean, that's down to him in particular.
21:26You know, if he wants a relationship, I'm always open.
21:29Was he able to tell you anything about your birth mother?
21:32Yeah, he gave a little information.
21:34So he met a woman, spent the weekend in her flat
21:38and then never saw her again.
21:40He told me he had two other children,
21:43so it means I have two half-siblings.
21:46As soon as I mentioned anything about his other children,
21:51that was it.
21:51It was kind of barriers went up then.
21:54I mean, there are stories behind stories
21:56and reasons behind reasons, aren't there?
21:59But you'd like to meet them?
22:00Absolutely.
22:01Yeah, I would like a conversation with him.
22:05You know, and just...
22:06Just to have...
22:07some sort of connection.
22:10You're putting yourself through a lot here,
22:12with this experience with your birth father
22:13and the contact-non-contact.
22:17Are you sure you want to do all this?
22:18I am scared.
22:19I am scared.
22:21Quite.
22:23Quite afraid of where it may go.
22:27You know?
22:29More disappointment.
22:31More heartache.
22:32No matter the outcomes,
22:33I still would like to know the whole story.
22:36I feel like I have to do this now.
22:42While we ramp up the search for John's birth mother,
22:46Tina also waits for news.
22:49You walk past people sometimes
22:50and you'd think,
22:51oh, you never know.
22:53You could be related to me.
22:54I feel like we need
22:58to find out who my family is.
23:15Tina has lived in Stoke for most of her life,
23:18just a few miles from the hospital
23:20where she was left as a baby.
23:24Hi, Ariel.
23:30Nikki, hello.
23:32So what is the latest with Tina's search?
23:36We've identified her mother and her father.
23:39And they're both alive.
23:41They're both alive?
23:42Both of them.
23:43They were married for some time
23:47and they actually had four children.
23:49They then split up
23:50and then they got together for an extremely brief time
23:54and Tina was conceived during that time.
23:57Did her birth father know about Tina's birth?
24:01He says not.
24:03And by the time Tina was born,
24:05his new partner was also having a child.
24:09So we've got four full siblings?
24:12Yes.
24:12And on her birth father's side with his later partner,
24:20a half-sibley?
24:21Yes.
24:22So why was she left?
24:24You can see immediately what a complicated situation it was.
24:28Her mother had been left with four very, very small children,
24:32really to fend for herself
24:33and then found herself to be pregnant.
24:36Her mother is finding it extremely difficult at the moment
24:39to be found after a secret that has been held for 50 years.
24:45Nobody knew she was pregnant.
24:47And the note that Tina was found with
24:49said that her mother was from London.
24:51That's right, is it?
24:52That's not right.
24:53The whole family are from Stoke-on-Trent.
24:56Where Tina still lives?
24:58Yes.
24:58This is incredible.
24:59It's a complex situation for Tina's birth mother
25:03and as yet she is not ready to meet Tina.
25:11It's opening up wounds really from 50 years ago
25:14and she will need time.
25:17Tina's birth father is very unwell at the moment.
25:20So we are taking things slowly
25:24and so Tina will not be meeting either of them at the moment.
25:29That is the first thing we will need to tell Tina.
25:32After we spoke, her mother confided in one of her daughters
25:36and I think now that other members of the family know,
25:40I think that they understand the predicament that she was in.
25:44Do you think they will want to reach out to Tina?
25:48Oh, yes, without a doubt.
25:50It's been two days since Ariel spoke with Tina
26:03and told her about her birth parents.
26:08I'd like to know how she's feeling
26:10and I've also got lots more to tell her.
26:17Tina had a wonderful adoption
26:20but what she didn't have was siblings
26:22and she's about to get a lot of those.
26:40Hi, Tina.
26:41Hi, Davina. How are you?
26:43Good, thanks.
26:43I'd like to come in.
26:43Yes, please.
26:48Have a seat.
26:49Thanks very much.
26:51How have you been feeling since you spoke with Ariel?
26:54She gave you quite a lot of really big news.
26:58It's exciting and then it's nerve-wracking
27:01because you don't know what to expect.
27:04I mean, I know they're alive.
27:05Mm-hmm.
27:06So now I've got a process in my brain
27:08that I have got another mum and dad in a way.
27:12Whereabouts are they in the UK?
27:15They do live in Stoke.
27:18Oh, my wife.
27:19Oh, I wasn't expecting that.
27:22Mm.
27:25Wow.
27:27So originally I thought
27:29that she must have been from Stoke from where she left me
27:31but from when I read that newspaper article
27:34the last night said that she was from London
27:35I presume that she must know somebody here
27:38and had just passed through.
27:39Mm.
27:40From Stoke then.
27:41She was from Stoke.
27:42So she was from here.
27:42The note was possibly to try and throw people off the scent.
27:47Do you know where she left me?
27:49Your birth mother and father had been together
27:54and they had had children together before you.
28:06That one's going to take a minute.
28:08Well...
28:19There are four of them.
28:22Four?
28:23Am I five?
28:24A number five.
28:26Jeez.
28:27You've got a brother and three sisters.
28:31So why was that different?
28:33When you were conceived
28:37they weren't in a relationship anymore.
28:41So is it broken down at that point?
28:43He'd left.
28:46And in fact his new wife was pregnant
28:48at the time you were conceived.
28:53Jeez.
28:53There's lots of us.
28:55So you have a half-sister
28:56who's roughly the same age as you.
29:03I don't know about me then.
29:04They do now.
29:06They didn't.
29:08They had no idea.
29:09Your siblings have told us
29:11that your birth mother
29:13was struggling to make ends meet
29:15with four children on her own.
29:16It was really tough.
29:20I understand.
29:22I was just a bit shocked
29:24with the other four.
29:25That was all.
29:26And what I'd always thought about it
29:27was that it was somebody who was young
29:29and had had a miss-up
29:31and thought I didn't have anybody to tell.
29:36One of your sisters has written you
29:38a letter.
29:39A letter.
29:39Hi, I'm your older sister.
29:49I haven't come into this lightly.
29:51There has been a lot of tears and upset.
29:53Mum has locked everything away.
29:55She has been very protective
29:57over her children
29:58and now we all know why.
30:01Mum didn't give you away lightly.
30:04She did give birth to you
30:06by herself on the settee
30:07and then walked.
30:1045 minutes to the hospital
30:12where she knew you would be taken care of.
30:16We hope that you were adopted
30:18by good parents
30:19which is all your mum wanted
30:20as she already had four children
30:22and was rearing us all by herself
30:24as he had gone.
30:26It has brought a lot of hurt back to mum
30:29and we are hoping if she meets you
30:30all her pain and hurt will go away.
30:37Looking forward to actually meeting you.
30:39She knew lots of love of your sister.
30:52See?
30:53That's really nice.
30:58None of them knew.
31:04She must have been petrified.
31:08From what I read there
31:13I wasn't the problem.
31:16She did what she had to do.
31:18If it hurts, it's just...
31:21I guess it doesn't a little bit
31:27because a little bit of your gut
31:28even though whatever you feel
31:30as though you weren't good enough.
31:31Yeah.
31:33But I don't hold anything against her at all.
31:37And if she can't see me
31:40because it hurt too much
31:41then I can accept that.
31:44I've been asked to say hello one day
31:45but I can leave with the questions answered.
32:0254 years since her birth mother
32:04walked to the hospital
32:05rang the doorbell and walked away.
32:07Tina is meeting her sisters for the first time.
32:16I'm nervous.
32:17Very nervous.
32:19I'm meeting people who are related to me.
32:22But you're complete strangers.
32:31It's exciting as well.
32:34I'm just all over the place.
32:38It's a big thing to get it
32:40from an only child to a huge family.
32:44I imagine it's probably harder for them.
32:47To protect their parents' identity
32:48Tina's sisters have asked for their meeting
32:51not to be filmed.
32:52Why, hello?
33:01Had a hug?
33:02Yeah.
33:02Oh, God.
33:11I'm sorry if I caused a blaze of upheaval.
33:13No, no, no.
33:14I didn't mean to do that.
33:16No, it's just...
33:17It's like shock, you know what I mean?
33:18I didn't do it to ace anybody.
33:20I just...
33:21No, it's not you.
33:22You've got a right to know where you're from.
33:24Well, that's all I wanted.
33:26I've had a great life and I'm happy.
33:27I would like her and mum to go for coffee.
33:31She feels guilty.
33:33You're OK, sweetheart.
33:36That two are good, because I've got no grudges and if she's holding some sort of pain and
33:40whatever for doing it, I'm fine.
33:45It was nice.
33:46Today's been quite a big day.
33:47I've met sisters that I didn't even dream would exist.
33:53You do see resemblances.
33:56I am quite little, but they're all little too, so it's obviously in the blood.
34:01I know who I am now.
34:11And that's not just me.
34:14I've got a big family.
34:17Not a little one anymore.
34:19I've had the best upbringing and I'm happy.
34:22And even though I'm crying right now, I'm still happy.
34:26But no, I don't want her to feel guilty anymore.
34:29Just let it go.
34:31I'm good.
34:31For John Scarlet Phillips, left as a newborn baby in a leisure centre toilet, we finally
34:54have a significant update.
34:57So, what's the news?
34:58Well, we have found John's birth mother.
35:02Is she still alive?
35:03She is.
35:04Wow.
35:05It's not the person that his birth father thought it might be.
35:10Oh, right.
35:11Someone entirely different.
35:12I mean, that's been discovered through DNA.
35:15Mm.
35:16But of course, she has confirmed it too.
35:19She was a young woman.
35:23Her marriage had broken up.
35:24Right.
35:24She had two very young children, her daughters.
35:30And I suspect, surprisingly, found herself pregnant with John.
35:39And I think she could not cope.
35:41Mm.
35:41When she left him, you know, she was mentally in a very, very bad place.
35:47Um, I think she had not acknowledged her pregnancy, even to herself.
35:54And so her, the birth mother's husband, isn't John's father?
35:57He's not.
35:58And she didn't tell anyone?
36:00Nobody knew at all.
36:01Wow.
36:02She is not yet ready to meet him.
36:06But John has two half-sisters.
36:10And they now know.
36:12Mm.
36:12Um, and they've been able to talk with her about it.
36:15They're very supportive.
36:16Fantastic.
36:17They are longing to meet him.
36:19Really?
36:20Straight away.
36:20It's too early to know if John's birth mother will ever want contact.
36:32It's such a sensitive situation.
36:36But there are two sisters who really want to meet him.
36:39So rather than wait any longer, I'm going to tell John what we know for now and move forward one step at a time.
36:50Hey, John.
36:57Hi, Davina.
36:58Please come in.
37:00Thanks so much for talking to me, John.
37:05How are you feeling?
37:06A little anxious.
37:08Always wanting to move forward.
37:10I just want some final answers.
37:13Just the why.
37:14There's always circumstances, which as you get older, you learn to take into consideration other points of view.
37:21Yeah, when you're a child, I think life is, um, well, simple.
37:25You just think, well, they didn't want me and I just got abandoned.
37:27And then I think as you grow older, you've realised that life's complicated.
37:31Yes.
37:31I have got some news.
37:33Okay.
37:34We know who your birth mother is.
37:37Wow.
37:38Okay.
37:40Is she still alive?
37:42She's still alive.
37:43Okay.
37:44That's good.
37:45That's very good.
37:46That was one of my fears.
37:49Was it?
37:50Yeah.
37:53That's a lot.
37:53Yeah, it is.
37:55God, I'm shaking.
37:56I get that.
38:01Your mother knows that you are looking and she was very shocked as she believed that she would never be found.
38:14So she is not ready for contact right now.
38:17Okay.
38:18I can understand it.
38:19I don't know if I could face up to something like that either.
38:24She was 20.
38:26She was married at the time.
38:28But she was splitting up with her husband.
38:32Her husband isn't your father.
38:35You knew that.
38:35Yes.
38:36It wasn't the woman your birth father thought it was.
38:41Wow.
38:42Okay.
38:43She didn't want anyone to know she was pregnant and she kept it completely hidden.
38:48And she just was not in a good mental state at all.
38:52And so splitting up, you know, had a fling, terrible place in her mind and two children.
39:06Older?
39:07Age two and three.
39:08Wow.
39:10Her two daughters now know about you and how you were left.
39:17Do they want to meet me?
39:18They really want to meet you.
39:19Wow.
39:21That's good.
39:23That's a positive.
39:24Is it?
39:25Mm.
39:25Your sisters have written you a letter.
39:29Wow.
39:40Okay.
39:41So, to our long lost brother, John, we are writing this letter to express to you how delighted we are to learn you have a brother.
39:47So, finding out about you has been a complete rollercoaster of emotions.
39:54Initially, we were heartbroken and devastated to find out how many years we have missed together.
39:59However, as emotions settled, we were left with such happiness that you are here.
40:04We realise and learning about us today will also be a shock to you.
40:08But we want you to know that you have a family and we will try and help you piece everything together as much as we can.
40:15We have 40 years to catch up on in a very long bucket list.
40:18We would like you to know you have two loving sisters wanting to be a part of your life.
40:24We are so looking forward to meeting you.
40:28Wow.
40:28Wow.
40:31Wow.
40:34It's amazing.
40:46Yeah.
40:47It's amazing.
40:49It's just a world of emotions.
40:51It's like a tornado going off at the moment.
41:02They found my birth mother.
41:04She's not ready yet.
41:06Yep.
41:07And I also have two sisters who really want to meet me.
41:10Wow.
41:11I'm so pleased with you, baby.
41:18Amazing.
41:19Today, John is going to meet his sisters for the first time, just a few miles from where he was found 40 years ago.
41:35It's a big deal.
41:37It is a really big deal.
41:39It's something that he's missed his entire life.
41:42And now he's ready.
41:44Very ready.
41:45Oh, you're going to do great.
41:48Everything will be fine.
41:51Love you.
41:52Love you too.
41:55The whole journey was to get the answers.
41:58I'm looking forward to starting a whole new chapter of life, and hopefully they'll be part of that.
42:11Hello.
42:27Hi.
42:27Hi.
42:28Very nice to meet you.
42:30I'm the oldest.
42:32We're not showing John's sisters to protect the identity of their mother.
42:36Oh, it's so great.
42:46In advance of meeting, they asked us about John's interests.
42:50We found out you're a big Lord of the Rings fan.
42:53Oh, yes.
42:54That is so brilliant.
42:56I could be like cinnamon.
42:57Oh, I love cinnamon.
42:58Because I'm a chef.
43:00Really?
43:00Really?
43:01Do you know what?
43:02We love cooking.
43:03Got your letter.
43:05You kind of broke me a little.
43:07Yes.
43:08That was beautiful.
43:08No, it was a beautiful letter.
43:11It was a beautiful letter.
43:12We were worried if we were going to be too intense.
43:14No, it's absolutely fine.
43:15That's absolutely great.
43:17Because we've always wanted a brother.
43:19Well, you've now got one.
43:20Yay.
43:20And I'm not going anywhere.
43:22That's cool.
43:22That's merry cool.
43:23We never knew.
43:26We never had any inkling.
43:29Nothing.
43:30So once we found Elle, straight down to mum's, she's very shocked because she never thought
43:38that anybody would find out.
43:40She has sent you a message for today.
43:44Hi.
43:45I've sent this message to the girls so they can let you know the reasons why I'm not with
43:50them today.
43:52Unfortunately, I feel unable, both physically and mentally, to come today, following a long
43:58period of illness.
43:59And I really want and need for my health to be much improved.
44:05Mentally, I am really struggling with all sorts of feelings of guilt, shame and so many
44:10other feelings which I need to process so I don't fall apart.
44:15I hope your meeting goes really well.
44:18And again, I am so, so sorry that I didn't come with them and hope you can understand and
44:23forgive me.
44:24I just let her know that I don't hold any grudges at all.
44:32I don't, I don't hold any.
44:35I, I can't imagine holding a secret like that for 40 years.
44:39Well, we never knew anything.
44:41Exactly.
44:42And, and, and.
44:43Nothing at all.
44:43And, and that's, that's hard to do.
44:46We'd known at the time, even being two and three, me so would have gotten the bus and
44:49Kevin got you.
44:50Yeah.
44:52Well, it's not a no, John.
44:54It's not a no.
44:55It's just time.
44:56Yeah.
44:58Hearing the message from my birth mother, it's a lot to take in and understand.
45:03My sister spoke to my birth mum and apparently she did hang around and wait until I was found.
45:12There was an album full of family photos.
45:14Phenomenal.
45:15I didn't expect it.
45:15We actually think she's pregnant in this one.
45:23Some of us is little ones.
45:26We think also she might be pregnant there as she hid it very well.
45:30I have a mix of emotions, to be honest with you.
45:36I would like to meet my birth mother and just hope that she would understand that I don't
45:43hold anything against her.
45:44And it was just nice to have a conversation and to see where it goes from there.
45:49To, like, gain the frames.
45:52We watched it all.
45:52And House of the Dragon.
45:54We're quite a lot alike, even though we never grew up together.
45:56You know who you are now, don't you?
45:58You're our John Snow.
45:59Oh, yes.
46:00Especially because it snowed this morning.
46:02It was just, like, on it.
46:03Yeah.
46:03I feel a lot lighter.
46:06I feel a bit more full as well.
46:08That emptiness has disappeared completely now.
46:14I'm a happy man.
46:27And if you've been affected by issues raised in tonight's programme,
46:31you can visit itv.com slash advice for support information.
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