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  • 7/1/2025
S01E02 >>> https://dai.ly/x9m5dag

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Transcript
00:00Kia ora beautiful people, it's me, the nomadic native, back in the motherland of Aotearoa.
00:07My family and I have lived in London for 12 years, but now we're back.
00:13Fun fact, I spent the first few years of my life here with my Nan.
00:17She passed four years ago, but we couldn't come back due to lockdown.
00:22Hashtag Round of Kiwis.
00:25RIP Nan, love you.
00:29Look at this whānau, home sweet home.
00:35This is my mum Kirimaya, she's a lawyer, she's always busy.
00:41We had to come back to Aotearoa because mum misses home, but really it's because of her work or something like that.
00:48Maria, out of the way please.
00:50God, aggressive.
00:52This is my dad Mati, everyone calls him Matt, he's a graphic designer.
00:56Can you go and help your brother please?
00:58Awhinātu.
00:59And this is my brother, Nate.
01:02Did you know that the wombat is the only animal in the world whose poo is cube-shaped?
01:06Oh my god, he talks so much.
01:09Anyways, here we are, the papakaina.
01:13Hi.
01:14Amelia.
01:15Off that phone please.
01:16I just have to...
01:17Now.
01:18Inayene.
01:19Thank you miss.
01:20All right.
01:21All right.
01:22Let's go.
01:23All right.
01:24Let's go.
01:25Let's go.
01:26Let's go.
01:27Let's go.
01:28Let's go.
01:29Let's go.
01:30Let's go.
01:31Let's go.
01:32Let's go.
01:33Let's go.
01:34Let's go.
01:35Let's go.
01:36Let's go.
01:37Let's go.
01:38Let's go.
01:39Let's go.
02:10What is that?
02:35Old people's phone.
02:37Well, more like what they use before they use normal phones.
02:44Kia ora, Kitty speaking.
02:46Oh, hey cuz, just walked through the door.
02:50Yeah, yeah, it's great to be home, thanks.
02:53Yeah, it'll take a while to adjust, jet lag and all.
03:00The kids, they're overwhelmed, so we might hold off for a bit.
03:04Mum? Mum?
03:07Dad, did you get the Wi-Fi sorted before we left?
03:10Mum, can I go outside?
03:11What?
03:12The Wi-Fi!
03:13Ask your mother!
03:14Mum, Wi-Fi?
03:15Mum, answer!
03:16Hoi hoi!
03:17Everyone! Shush!
03:19Sorry cuz, a bit hectic over here.
03:23Oh, sounds great, but honestly, I just don't think we're going to make it tonight.
03:28I'm handing you over to Matt, okay?
03:31Ai, hai aakoa nei, Pia.
03:33What's born?
03:34Bully boy!
03:35Get the PEA, you dough boy!
03:37Wi-Fi name and password, go and connect all our devices, including the television and your brother's gadgets.
03:42Don't just do your own and then get sucked into editing your vlogs, okay?
03:46Alright.
03:52Take that.
03:53Haari, put the kiwaho.
03:55Ai, and don't go wandering off.
03:57Love you.
04:00Say it back.
04:01Love you.
04:09You're speaking with Kitty?
04:11No bother, we're just settling in.
04:13Yes, preparation is key.
04:15No, no sleep on that plane.
04:19Just a minute, I'll check.
04:32What are you doing?
04:33Oh, bloody heck!
04:36Oh, where?
04:38What, the blooming hell?
04:39Sorry to startle you.
04:41Who startle-y reckons?
04:45You didn't startle me.
04:46You snuck up on me.
04:47There's a difference.
04:50Tai hoa.
04:52Who are you, boy?
04:53What's your name?
04:54How do you do?
04:55My name's Nate.
04:56What's your name?
04:57Put that hand away.
04:58Come and help me have a look.
04:59Nate's talking to a random lady in the garden.
05:01Bag's not saving her.
05:02He's probably a local.
05:03Go tell him to leave her alone.
05:04Um, not my job.
05:05Also, I have to connect everything up.
05:06Remember?
05:07My media!
05:08Okay, this is the last time I'm going to tell you this.
05:10You will get it in due course.
05:11Do I make myself clear?
05:13Hello?
05:14Hello?
05:15Hello?
05:16Hello?
05:17Hello?
05:19Hello?
05:21Hello?
05:23Hello?
05:25Hello?
05:27Hello?
05:29Hello?
05:30Hello?
05:31Hello?
05:32Hello?
05:33Hello?
05:42Damn it.
05:46So where are you from, Nate?
05:47Well, we just arrived from London.
05:49But originally, we are from here.
05:51More specifically, that house.
05:53That house?
05:54Wait.
05:55Ko waita whaea.
05:58Pardon me?
05:59Who is your mum boy?
06:01Oh, my mum.
06:02My mum is Kitty.
06:04Oh!
06:05Oh, Kitty girl's finally come home, eh?
06:08Nā whae anō.
06:11Oh, and she's had a baby boy.
06:13How come I haven't met you before?
06:15It's most probably because I've never been here before.
06:17It's my first time here.
06:19My sister's been here, though.
06:20Matt?
06:21Can you check on, Nate?
06:22Kei wahorāia?
06:23Yes.
06:24Nate, he's outside.
06:25She lives here with Nanny Summer so that my mum could finish her studies to become a lawyer.
06:40My mum's a lawyer.
06:41My mum's a lawyer.
06:42She gets people to sign things and they do stuff with stuff.
06:43Anyway, I digress.
06:44Then she got a job in London.
06:45Then she did more study in London.
06:46So they stayed.
06:47And along I came.
06:48But not Nanny Summer.
06:49She stayed here.
06:50She's dead now.
06:51You talk a lot?
06:52I get told that a lot.
06:53I like it.
06:54Nobody really talks to me much anymore, so it is nice to have someone to listen to other
06:58than myself.
06:59You know that Nanny Summer you talk about?
07:01Her real name was Raumati.
07:04Has your mum taken you to visit her yet?
07:06Visit her?
07:07No.
07:08No.
07:09No.
07:10No.
07:11No.
07:12No.
07:13No.
07:14No.
07:15No.
07:16No.
07:17No.
07:18No.
07:19Do you visit her?
07:20Do you visit her?
07:21How?
07:22She's dead.
07:23Well, thank you for that information, Naye.
07:25But just because somebody is dead does not mean you cannot go and say hello.
07:29It should have been the first thing you did before you came to the whare.
07:32Not that I am judging your mum.
07:34I am not that kind of person.
07:36I'm just saying it would have been nice.
07:38Especially for you.
07:40I know for a fact that your Nanny Raumati would have loved to finally meet her grandmokopuna
07:47A brand mokopuna night.
07:51Are you hungry?
07:53I forgot.
07:55My mum gave me this.
07:57Atatatakaua.
07:59You don't want that yuck apple.
08:01If you eat that yuck apple,
08:03your whakanoa yourself and I will disappear.
08:07Whakanoa what?
08:09Whakanoa, throw it away.
08:13Besides your whanua preparing a hākari,
08:15it'd be rude not to go.
08:17Aramai, come on.
08:21What's a hākari?
08:23Oh, well, a hākari name is like a munch.
08:27What's a munch?
08:29A lunch munch.
08:31Lunch munch?
08:33Aye, a feed.
08:35What's a feed?
08:41Mouth?
08:43Lime green.
08:45Oof.
08:47I like forest green.
08:51I'm scared.
08:55Well, Nate, there is nothing to be scared of, okay?
08:57Once we get to this whare,
08:59we will find your Uncle Bull,
09:01he will call your mum and let her know where you are, okay?
09:05Trust me.
09:07How do I know I can trust you?
09:09Well, because, Nate,
09:13I am your Aunty Huia.
09:15I am related to your kuia.
09:17She is my older sister
09:19and that makes us whānau.
09:21So as long as I have got my eye on you,
09:23no one is gonna hurt you
09:25and you will always be safe.
09:27Let's be safe.
09:29You hear me?
09:31Ka pai.
09:37So, what were you searching for in my garden?
09:39Oh!
09:41My huia.
09:43Huia? What's a huia?
09:45Come on, Nate. Keep up.
09:47Oh, good, good.
09:49Don't pay for it.
09:51It's free.
09:53Where's Nate?
09:55I don't know.
09:57Probably outside still talking to that random.
09:59No, he's not. I just looked.
10:01Nate!
10:03Nate!
10:05Are you inside, Bob?
10:07Nathaniel!
10:09Kai hiya kuia, boy?
10:11Nate!
10:13Nate!
10:15Nate!
10:21Nate?
10:23Nate?
10:24Nate?
10:26Nate?
10:27Nate!
10:38Nate!
10:43I looked everywhere he's not here I checked out the back down the driveway
10:50well he's got small legs so he can't have gone far okay Maddie jump in the truck head to the
10:59bridge if he's followed the curriculum end up there media you stay here okay use your cell
11:03phone to call people to see if anyone else has spotted him there's a list next to the phone
11:07start at the top and work your way through it and tell them your nanny summer's moko and leave that
11:11landline free in case someone has found him and they're trying to call us here wait what are you
11:14going to do well if he hasn't gone down the creek to the bridge then he's gone over the hill I'm
11:18gonna try and get him off when did mountain into GI Jane when she gets her fast I just
11:26stand there cat titty-titty cut
11:28of course
11:29night
11:41see that hard case looking fellow over there in the red vest that is your uncle bull now remember
12:08don't tell anyone that you talked to me or you followed me here okay they will lose the bloody
12:12plot don't tell anyone about you because they will lose the plot affirmative jeez you some big words
12:18for someone so small you know that anyway you go over there and you tell them this well I tell you
12:25if we let these floodgates and co-pricks get their way they're gonna come in here and the way of life
12:29is we know it's gonna change unless us or we as a community do something holy hecka what in the
12:36bloody hell boy greetings uncle bull sorry to startle you oh you didn't startle me boy you just snuck up
12:42on me see that's the difference yes my apologies I meant to ask you if you could call my mum and let
12:48you know where I am I could smell the food you've been cooking and according to the kuma divine your
12:53cooking is the best in this god forsaken town well sure it's uh it's not a lie but wait wait wait
12:59who's boy again you boy whose boy am I hi boy who's your mama oh my mum yes my mum's name is kitty
13:06we live just over that hill is that chi little man that is to help naito far out how are you now boy
13:17seven eight 84 I'm your uncle man I only seen baby pictures of you on that crack book jeez how'd you
13:24get there boy it's a decent hike all the way from the homestead must have a good nose on you hey just
13:28like your uncle sniff out anything go power nostrils over here no my hooky mate thank you for your
13:34hospitality if I could also remind you to call my mum and let her know where I am mum let's try
13:40your dad first day if your mum's anything like she used to be she'll be losing the plot right now
13:44what is losing the plot oh cray cray out the gate boy all of the above everybody this is my nephew
13:49Nate Nate dog make him feel at home me hey bubba girl remember those baby pictures I was showing you
13:55on crack book this is him now hey who's who's who's take your who off walk right away here from the homestead
14:01yes he's safe I'm just about to head over there now to pick him up is your mum back yet no not yet
14:15okay get the bike away yeah I'm fine mum's cousin is here heard nate was missing and came over to help
14:23oh which cousin ah dad you're breaking up dad
14:33dad found nate oh thank god I hope you don't mind being in my vlog sorry what was your name again
14:51okay why I don't even know what a vlog is John boy yeah good job for you yeah glad they found
15:01your little brother oh better go then hey do you want a cup of tea or something
15:09okay rude okay rude anyways
15:23boring
15:51anyways as I was saying dad found nate thank god um he's on his way to Michael Ball's house now
16:00oh yeah
16:04okay
16:09uh
16:13Matua, e pēhi ana koe?
16:15Sure, last kākau.
16:17Tēnā koe, kei te pai.
16:19Ai.
16:20Kei te mōhio rānei koe, kei hea te whare o pū.
16:23Ai. Kei gōra.
16:26Ah, tēnā koe, Matua.
16:29Oh, you need a ride anywhere?
16:31Kau.
16:32Haere koe tōhāne.
16:34Kapai.
16:35All right then, hai ākua nei.
16:43Oh!
16:54Oh!
16:58Kitty?
17:03Oh, kia ora.
17:06When I got to the top of the bukia, I saw your whare.
17:14But it was dark and I tripped and rolled all the way down.
17:17And landed in what I hope is mud but isn't most probably cow shit.
17:21Well, I honestly thought she was a kia, but...
17:24Oh, I honestly can't believe you made it all the way here.
17:27Ah, this is the thing.
17:29Kids just find their wee.
17:31Oh, babe, look at the time.
17:36We need to get this little man home, back to a media.
17:38Yeah.
17:39Okay.
17:40Hey, hey, hey, take this.
17:41Oh, no. Karl.
17:42Really?
17:43Yes, honest.
17:44Bye bye.
17:45Oh, thank you.
17:46Hey, and if you fellas have any free time to help us figure out this resource and concept
17:49from Hackney, that would really help us out, eh?
17:52Yeah, yeah.
17:53I'll see what I can do.
17:55Thank you, guys.
17:56I'll see you pōi out, eh?
17:58Hey, pōpomare, buu.
17:59Kāke te marie, bui.
18:00Hey, little man.
18:05Hey, little man.
18:08Home time, bui.
18:10Put your jacket on, eh?
18:14Hi, uncle, buu.
18:16Thanks for ringing my parents.
18:18She was right.
18:19Your cooking is the best in this town.
18:21Bertha, who told you that, Tika?
18:24Her.
18:27Bye.
18:28What did boy just say to you?
18:30I think my mama told him I had the best cooking in town.
18:32Fair enough.
18:33Yeah.
18:34Unless he can walk with Kehua, he probably just got his wires crossed.
18:38Ha.
18:39Ha.
18:40Ha.
18:41Ha.
18:42Ha.
18:43Ha.
18:44Ha.
18:45Ha.
18:46Ha.
18:47Ha.
18:48Ha.
18:49Ha.
18:50Ha.
18:51Ha.
18:52Ha.
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18:55Ha.
18:56Ha.
18:57Ha.
18:58Ha.
18:59Ha.
19:00Ha.
19:01Ha.
19:02Ha.
19:03Ha.
19:04Ha.
19:05Ha.
19:06Ha.
19:07Ha.
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19:09Ha.
19:10Ha.
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19:27Ha.
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19:31Ha.
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19:36Ha.
19:37Ha.
19:38Ha.
19:39Ha.
19:40Ha.
19:41Ha.
19:42Ha.
19:43Ha.
19:44Ha.
19:45Ha.
19:46Ha.
19:47Ha.
19:48Why aren't you eating?
19:50It's alright, no thanks.
19:52Huh? But Mum said it was your favourite.
19:55Kao, I like my leftovers with bread,
19:58tomato and heaps of salt.
20:00Ew, count.
20:02Oh, yeah, Mum, your cousin came over yesterday.
20:06Oh, which one?
20:08Um, John Boy.
20:14Is that your idea of a practical joke, Amiria?
20:17What?
20:19Because that is not funny. Go to your room.
20:22But I was telling the truth.
20:24Enough, Amiria.
20:25No!
20:26Now!
20:27What? Wait!
20:28And leave that bloody phone on the table.
20:43I believe, Amiria.
20:45Finish your pot of coffee, please, son.
20:46I need some fresh air.
20:47It's not working.
20:48But I'm not going to try.
20:49I'm not going to try the food recoup.
20:51First, I'll have a house.
20:52Two hours from now.
20:54One, two, one, two.
20:55One, two, one.
20:56One, two, three.
20:57One, two.
20:58One, three, two.
20:59One, two.
21:00One, two.
21:01One, one, two.
21:02One, two...
21:04One, three.
21:06Two, three.
21:09Oh, my God.
21:39Don't help my whānau.
21:41I'm sure.
21:45Okay.
21:51Are you three ghosts?
21:53Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Kehua.
21:55We prefer the term Kehua, Nate.
21:59Oh, okay.
22:09Hey Tewhano, please keep your phone tracking on so I know where you all are.
22:16Nate, are you sure you know where you're going?
22:18Of course, I have like a hidden GPS.
22:20Plus, Uncle Paul should be here soon.
22:22He said he didn't make me half way.
22:24Wait, where's your sister?
22:34She had to go figure something out.
22:36What?
22:37I just need you to clear my name with my parents.
22:40So even a call or a text.
22:43Yeah, I don't think I can do that yet.
22:45Why can't you help me?
22:47Because...
22:49I'm a Kehua?
22:51What?
22:53I don't know.
22:55I don't know.
22:56I don't know.
22:57I don't know.
22:58I can do it.
22:59I don't know.
23:00Is it so a littlehhh?
23:01I don't know.
23:02I will say that.
23:03No, I don't know.
23:04My turn.
23:05I'm not sure.
23:06No, I am.