- 6/29/2025
#funny #comedy #entertanment #frank #unitedkingdom
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00:00:00This video is brought to you by S.T.A.L.A.
00:01:30Pete, Craig, where are you guys?
00:02:59Where is everybody?
00:03:36Ratio, breakfast coming right up.
00:03:40How are we this glorious morning?
00:03:42Doing great.
00:03:43Good to hear that.
00:03:46What did you say?
00:03:47I said we're great.
00:03:48I love you, sis.
00:03:50What is going on?
00:03:55What do you want from me?
00:03:56We just really appreciate everything you do around here.
00:03:58And rarely say thanks.
00:04:00So thanks.
00:04:00And from now on, we are going to be the big happy family you always wanted.
00:04:04Did you get the breakfast I made you, honey?
00:04:06Yeah, Mom, it was great.
00:04:07Yeah, Mom, it was great.
00:04:08But why is everybody so happy?
00:04:10I thought we were on the verge of losing the ranch and all its properties to the banks.
00:04:15Not anymore.
00:04:16We've just won the lottery.
00:04:18One billion dollars.
00:04:19We're rich, Jules.
00:04:20And now we get to keep the ranch, pay off all the debts, bring in more horses, and live happily ever after.
00:04:28And it's all because of you.
00:04:32Wait, you mean I picked the winning numbers?
00:04:34Yes, you did.
00:04:35We're so proud of you, honey.
00:04:37Wait, this, this is like a dream come true.
00:04:43Yeah, that's because it is.
00:04:45A dream come true?
00:04:46No, just a dream.
00:04:47Your dream proves size.
00:04:50My dream, but I don't get it.
00:05:01Got your gun, psycho.
00:05:03I fell for the oldest trick in the book.
00:05:05Get out of my room!
00:05:09What are you, like seven?
00:05:10I'll probably put in a teen at the end of that.
00:05:12Yeah, and we'll always be older than you.
00:05:15Stronger, too.
00:05:16And prettier.
00:05:17Well, if you're so big and strong, why don't you help me with the chores once in a while?
00:05:21What's the point?
00:05:22We're going to be out of here in like a week.
00:05:24Mom hasn't sold the place yet.
00:05:26She's signing it away today.
00:05:27Mr. Beato will be here this afternoon.
00:05:29Yeah, don't call Mom, Mom.
00:05:31She's our mom, not yours.
00:05:32Yeah, you're just like an illegal adopted alien or something.
00:05:36The term is stepdaughter.
00:05:39I think that only works when your father is married to our mother.
00:05:41But after he died, the term becomes human parasite.
00:05:44Sounds about right, doesn't it?
00:05:45Pretty accurate to me.
00:05:47This was my dad's ranch before you ever moved in.
00:05:50I grew up here.
00:05:51This is my home.
00:05:52So you're the intruders.
00:05:54Not for long.
00:05:55Just get out before I...
00:05:58The phone with the mouth?
00:05:59Oh, too late.
00:06:06I wish this was a dream.
00:06:08I wish this was a dream.
00:06:29Hey, good morning, Juliet.
00:06:43Take whatever you'd like.
00:06:44I didn't have time to cook.
00:06:47As usual.
00:06:49And it's Jules, remember?
00:06:51Juliet is a much prettier name.
00:06:53Only if you have to Romeo to go with it.
00:06:56Yeah.
00:06:57It'll happen someday.
00:07:00You'll see.
00:07:01Well, at least I still have Horatio.
00:07:05Your dad was my Romeo.
00:07:08And boy, could I use him now.
00:07:11How bad is it?
00:07:13On a scale from one to ten, I would need triple digits.
00:07:18This is my...
00:07:20our home.
00:07:22You can't sew.
00:07:23I'll try my best.
00:07:25Mr. Beetle is coming today to review our options.
00:07:29But you're not signing anything, right?
00:07:31I love this place, Juliet.
00:07:34Sorry.
00:07:35Jules.
00:07:36I don't want to move back to the city.
00:07:38I mean, whatever we can do.
00:07:40But you can't.
00:07:41Well, what happened to Horatio?
00:07:42Look, your dad made a wonderful life here for us.
00:07:46And for Horatio.
00:07:48So we're going to do whatever we can.
00:07:50Win the lottery?
00:07:50I tried that.
00:07:54There is a very happy family celebrating in Ohio today.
00:07:58It's all over the news.
00:08:00I mean, what we really need now is a miracle.
00:08:06Miracles are possible if you put your mind to it.
00:08:09Okay.
00:08:10Whatever you say.
00:08:11Why don't you go check with your brothers, brainstorm with them, see if they can think of something.
00:08:16They could think that would be a miracle.
00:08:20What was that?
00:08:21Will do.
00:08:22I'm sure they're full of wonderful ideas.
00:08:41Okay.
00:08:42Now watch this and respond truthfully.
00:08:44It's very important.
00:08:45I got it, I got it.
00:08:46Get on with it.
00:08:54Well, what do you think?
00:08:56I think I like the second one best.
00:08:58Okay, I have more.
00:09:02What are you doing?
00:09:04Craig's practicing his poses.
00:09:06Yeah, when we move back to the city, I have to be ready.
00:09:09My career awaits.
00:09:10Is what, a mime?
00:09:12Male model.
00:09:13You don't think I have what it takes.
00:09:16Well, look at this.
00:09:23Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.
00:09:24When we become rich and famous, we'll see who's laughing last.
00:09:27Oh, you're going to be a model too?
00:09:28No.
00:09:29I'm the businessman.
00:09:31Pete's going to be my manager.
00:09:32Yeah, I'll be handling all the deals, because I'm great with money.
00:09:35Okay.
00:09:36Prove it.
00:09:37Do you have two tens for a five?
00:09:38Absolutely.
00:09:46Thanks.
00:09:47Uh, Pete, I don't think that works out quite.
00:09:50Wait, what was that?
00:09:51Two tens for a five?
00:09:53What, do you think?
00:09:53I'm an idiot?
00:09:54Okay.
00:09:56Here's back your five, not giving back two tens.
00:10:02That's better.
00:10:04Now get out of here and do your chores.
00:10:06Try to pull a fast rule on me.
00:10:08See why I'm handling all your business?
00:10:10So you don't make those kind of mistakes.
00:10:14What, you think that's funny?
00:10:16Here's two tens.
00:10:17Give me a five, quick.
00:10:18She did it to me.
00:10:27You did it to me, too.
00:10:48I wish it were that easy with Mr. Beetle.
00:11:14Hey, Horatio.
00:11:15How's your leg holding up?
00:11:17Still sore, huh?
00:11:20Well, don't worry.
00:11:22When it gets better, we could go out riding.
00:11:24Just like the good old times.
00:11:26Sound good, Phillip?
00:11:33Horatio, what are we going to do?
00:11:35I can't leave this place, and I could never lose you.
00:11:38We've grown up together.
00:11:43You're a pony.
00:11:43It was my eighth birthday, remember?
00:11:47I got a new mom, two new brothers, and you the same year.
00:11:52Pete and Craig weren't that bad back then.
00:11:55Not until Dad died.
00:11:57You know, I miss him so much.
00:12:02And Kim means well, but she can't run this place on her own.
00:12:05And Pete and Craig are no help whatsoever.
00:12:09You know, what we need to do is come up with a plan, Horatio.
00:12:13So, a way to make a lot of money really fast.
00:12:17Any suggestions?
00:12:21You don't say.
00:12:23Well, when I can learn how to speak horse, we'll continue this conversation, okay?
00:12:30Maybe it won't be that bad.
00:12:32Perhaps Mr. Beetle will buy the place, fix it up, and let us stay here to run it.
00:12:38It's a possibility, right?
00:12:40Yeah.
00:14:14One day soon this ranch will be one of the biggest malls in the county.
00:14:16Another mall.
00:14:17Great.
00:14:18It is great.
00:14:19You know how much money American malls make?
00:14:21No.
00:14:22That's why you're here, Sock.
00:14:23To learn.
00:14:24Maybe you're running my empire two decades from now.
00:14:27And you know what it takes from the ground up.
00:15:21When you look out there.
00:15:22What do you see?
00:15:23Trees.
00:15:24Flowing streams.
00:15:25Vistas straight out of postcards.
00:15:26I see waste.
00:15:27Nothing but waste.
00:15:28All this unused land.
00:15:29Taking up space from buildings, factories, and apartment stores.
00:15:31It's enough to make you sick.
00:15:32It's unnatural.
00:15:33It's nature, dad.
00:15:34It's as natural as it gets.
00:15:35Ah, nature's overrated.
00:15:36If people like nature so much, they'd live in it.
00:15:37You see people living in those trees?
00:15:38I don't know.
00:15:39I don't know.
00:15:40I don't know.
00:15:41I don't know.
00:15:42I don't know.
00:15:43I don't know.
00:15:44I don't know.
00:15:45I don't know.
00:15:46I don't know.
00:15:47I don't know.
00:15:48I don't know.
00:15:49I don't know.
00:15:50I don't know.
00:15:51I don't know.
00:15:52I don't know.
00:15:53I don't know.
00:15:54Animals live there, dad.
00:15:55Ah, that's right.
00:15:56And if animals ran the world, it would be complete chaos, disorganization.
00:16:01The whole financial system would collapse.
00:16:04People wouldn't pay attention to politicians.
00:16:06We wouldn't have a need for lawyers.
00:16:08And then, then what would we do?
00:16:11Celebrate?
00:16:12No joke like that, Wes.
00:16:14Not even jest.
00:16:16It's a sign of weakness.
00:16:18I don't even like the signs up here make any sense.
00:16:22That's both to me.
00:16:24Deer crossing.
00:16:26And why do I care about that?
00:16:28Because this is a deer crossing!
00:16:29No!
00:16:30No!
00:16:31No!
00:16:32No!
00:16:33No!
00:16:34No!
00:16:35No!
00:16:36No!
00:16:37No!
00:16:38No!
00:16:39No!
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00:16:56No!
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00:16:59No!
00:17:00No!
00:17:01No!
00:17:02No!
00:17:03No!
00:17:04No!
00:17:05No!
00:17:06No!
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00:17:11No!
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00:17:13No!
00:17:14what's up guys think you're really funny don't you no I think I'm moderately funny from time to
00:17:37time I want my money back I gave you your money back not enough of it
00:17:44what if I say you could win it back how just pick a number between 1 and 10 if I
00:17:50don't guess it right I'll give you back double your bet okay $20 okay pick a
00:17:57number
00:17:59okay I guess okay it's the number between 1 and 3 no between 5 and 7 nope between 8 and 10
00:18:18yeah number's 9
00:18:20better luck next time wait not so fast now you picking up between 1 through 10
00:18:32fine number 5
00:18:35are you kidding me you're gonna let her get away with that come back here Jules
00:18:44good
00:18:51yeah
00:18:57yeah
00:18:59yeah
00:19:02yeah
00:19:03yeah
00:19:08Don't get me away, okay?
00:19:29She's got to be around here somewhere.
00:19:35You're so not going to be my agent.
00:19:37Fine. I wouldn't make any money with you anyways.
00:19:40Your poses are stupid.
00:19:42You're stupid?
00:19:44Okay, smart guy.
00:19:45What's 412 times 97 divided by 7?
00:19:51I don't know.
00:19:52You see? You don't know.
00:19:55Okay, so what is it?
00:19:56Oh, no. I was asking you.
00:19:58You don't know the answer either, do you?
00:19:59I'm trying to change the subject. I made my point.
00:20:02No, you didn't. You would have to know the answer if you got...
00:20:03152.
00:20:04You're just making up numbers now, aren't you?
00:20:07I am not.
00:20:08Part 2.
00:20:09That was a close one.
00:20:24I know, I know. It was a dumb move.
00:20:26Someday, someone will lock some sense into me.
00:20:29But, until then, I come out on top.
00:20:33Oh!
00:20:35Oh!
00:21:05Mr. Beale, what happened to your car?
00:21:12Oh, you won't believe it.
00:21:13We were passing one of those yellow signs, the one with the deer on it.
00:21:17A deer crossing sign.
00:21:18Yeah.
00:21:19And suddenly out of nowhere, a deer runs right in front of the car.
00:21:22Oh my gosh, are you both okay?
00:21:24Yeah, we're okay.
00:21:25Deer's okay.
00:21:26We swerved and hit a tree.
00:21:28But you tell me, why would they put a deer crossing sign right in the middle of the road?
00:21:32Wouldn't it be smarter to put it in a safer location where there's no people or passing cars?
00:21:38I don't understand what you mean.
00:21:40Well, those signs, they're a hazard to everyone's health.
00:21:43I mean, it's letting the deer know that it's okay to cross there.
00:21:45You know, someone should write a letter to the local authorities and that would fix the problem.
00:21:49Dad, the signs are there for the motorist to warn them about the deer.
00:21:54Oh, that's absurd.
00:21:55How do we expect the deer not to cross the road when we're just giving it permission to do so?
00:22:00But if that's the case, we should set up a separate set of signs for the deer.
00:22:04Maybe one with a speeding car on it so they know when they can cross.
00:22:08I'll say this is why I don't deal in the countryside.
00:22:10There's nothing like dumb deer here.
00:22:16Is he serious?
00:22:21Can I get you something to drink, Mr. Beetle?
00:22:23Something to calm your nerves?
00:22:24Oh, a gin and tonic would be lovely.
00:22:27Thanks, Miss Belle.
00:22:29Kim, please.
00:22:31Kim?
00:22:32That's short for Kimberly, isn't it?
00:22:34Yes, it is.
00:22:36It's a lovely name.
00:22:37My first ex-wife's name was Bev.
00:22:39Short for Beverly.
00:22:41No, short for beverage.
00:22:42Her parents were real heavy drinkers.
00:22:47That was a joke, no?
00:22:49Father never jokes.
00:22:50It's a sign of weakness.
00:22:52The boy's right.
00:22:53Okay, let's get down to the contracts here.
00:22:56The boy has a name, by the way.
00:22:59I'm Wesley.
00:23:00Short for nothing.
00:23:01Nice to meet you, Wesley.
00:23:03I'm sorry.
00:23:03I thought I made it...
00:23:04Well, let's not get bogged down with details.
00:23:06Kimberly, you're in real financial trouble here.
00:23:09The bank is going to foreclose on the property by the end of the week, selling off the land
00:23:13acre by acre.
00:23:14Now, I see tremendous potential here.
00:23:17And I'm willing to buy your entire ranch and even help you with your move back to normal
00:23:21civilization.
00:23:21As we look over the contracts, you'll see that my offer is more than generous.
00:23:26It's lovely.
00:23:47It's lovely.
00:23:47I can see that you've really put a lot of time and effort into this.
00:23:52Well, we'd have to remove some trees and some bushes and some wildlife, but this place
00:23:57has real potential.
00:23:58It's all about vision.
00:24:00That's how you get ahead, son.
00:24:01You see something on your path and you mow it down.
00:24:03It's like the deer.
00:24:04You know, this is a lot to go into.
00:24:09Why don't I give you guys a tour of the property and then you can see, you know, how we operate
00:24:15here.
00:24:15My father's allergic to fresh air.
00:24:18Oh, no, no, be silly.
00:24:19That was a one-time thing.
00:24:20And the doctor said it was more about the pollen in the air than the air itself.
00:24:24We'd be delighted to get the two of the land, Kimberly.
00:24:30I think about where I'm going to put that ten-story parking garage.
00:24:35Okay.
00:24:36Well, let me grab my allergy pills, sinus medication, eye drops, and sinus relief medication, and
00:24:41I'll be all set.
00:24:42Where's your bathroom?
00:24:43Yeah, it's right over there.
00:24:45Okay, thanks.
00:24:47Your father has a lot of health issues, huh?
00:24:51Well, like mental issues.
00:24:53You see, taking care of business, he's a pro.
00:24:55Taking care of himself is a whole other matter.
00:24:58He was better when Mom was around, but after she left, he's been a bit obsessed with work.
00:25:04I have a daughter about your age who's very much like that.
00:25:09Not with work, specifically, but she can have a one-track mind when it comes to her obsession.
00:25:16What is it?
00:25:17Oh, it's not an it, it's a who, and it goes by the name of Horatio.
00:25:20Let's do it.
00:25:43Juliette? Juliette? Are you okay, Juliette? Juliette, speak to me!
00:26:02I'm fine. I'm...
00:26:04Ow!
00:26:07Who hit me?
00:26:08The lucky horseshoe above my stable fell and knocked you out.
00:26:13Lucky by whose definition?
00:26:15I don't know. Your father hung it up there, and he's always just said that it was lucky. Remember?
00:26:21Yeah, I do. I'm surprised you remember. You were just a pony.
00:26:26What is it?
00:26:27You're talking.
00:26:28So, what's wrong with that?
00:26:31When did you start talking?
00:26:32I've always talked to you.
00:26:34Every morning when you feed me and say hi, I say,
00:26:38Hello, Juliette, and how are you today?
00:26:40And then after I eat, I thank you.
00:26:44Yeah, but I never understood you before.
00:26:46Oh, really?
00:26:47Well, I always had the impression you understood me quite well.
00:26:50This isn't possible.
00:26:52You mean I've been speaking all this time and you haven't understood a word?
00:26:56Boy, do I feel like an idiot.
00:26:58Okay, this is not happening.
00:27:01I'm dreaming.
00:27:02Or I'm hallucinating.
00:27:04I was hit on the head with this, and now I'm hearing voices.
00:27:08What kind of voices?
00:27:10Horse voices.
00:27:11Do they sound like me?
00:27:12Yeah, they sound exactly like...
00:27:14Oh, I need medical attention.
00:27:16I hope you feel better soon.
00:27:18Oh, and I think my leg is improving, by the way.
00:27:21Okay.
00:27:22Oh, and I'll come to this place.
00:27:24Oh, and they're my favorite ABC movies.
00:27:24Oh, and I think my days are aged about who others are jede-�ő,
00:27:25so you can hear me come for me.
00:27:26Oh, and you say, hey, I love you.
00:27:27I mean, my kids are beautiful.
00:27:28Okay, my kids are the same.
00:27:29Go ahead and buy me.
00:27:30I mean, how about the way I am turning this person.
00:27:32Why can Ií’ˆat
00:29:50I don't know how to keep it going, but it's really my late husband who had the green thumb.
00:29:57Green thumb? Was it infected? Is that what killed him?
00:30:01Again, not a joke?
00:30:04No.
00:30:05I'm sorry, Kimberly. Nature's not really my forte. There's just so many things alive here. Like this tree. It's alive, isn't it?
00:30:13Yep. It just grows right out of the ground.
00:30:19And you don't find that disturbing? Dad doesn't trust anything that isn't man-made.
00:30:24What about water?
00:30:26Don't drink it. It rusts pipes and fish go to the bathroom in it.
00:30:31W.C. Fields, right?
00:30:33That's an intelligent man. He was a comedian, Dad.
00:30:37No, I don't think he was.
00:30:39Where is Juliet now? Juliet, this is Mr. Beadle and his son Wesley.
00:30:47Hello.
00:30:47Wes is fine. My father doesn't shake hands.
00:30:51How are you?
00:30:52I'm fine. I'm good.
00:30:55Why, what have you heard? There's nothing wrong with me.
00:30:58Mr. Beadle is interested in developing the property, so I was just showing them around.
00:31:03How's Horatio doing?
00:31:04It's like he's improving.
00:31:06Not that he told me that or anything. I just noticed when I was checking him out.
00:31:10Who is Horatio?
00:31:11He's Juliet's favorite horse. They're best friends, grow up together, talk to each other.
00:31:17No, we don't.
00:31:18I mean, we're not that close. A horse is a horse.
00:31:21Of course, of course.
00:31:23And no one can talk to a horse.
00:31:25Of course.
00:31:26That is, of course, unless the horse...
00:31:29I'm sorry, you just reminded me of an old television show.
00:31:32Well, I wanted to bring them over to the stables.
00:31:36No, no, no, no, no.
00:31:38I mean, no. You don't want to go in there.
00:31:41Stables are a mess, there's hay everywhere, and it smells like horse poop.
00:31:44Oh, well, then I'll pass it. That doesn't sound like a real good environment for my sinuses.
00:31:48Maybe you could bring Horatio up to the corral, because I'd really like to show Mr. Beatle the advantages to running a successful operation, as opposed to a new shopping mall.
00:32:03Horatio's not quite himself today.
00:32:06I thought you said he was feeling better.
00:32:08I'd love to meet him. Horses are awesome.
00:32:13You really think so?
00:32:15Yeah.
00:32:17Okay, I'll go get him.
00:32:19Can I come?
00:32:22Oh, no, I'll do it.
00:32:24Horatio gets a little nervous around people he doesn't know.
00:32:26Since when did you start to love horses?
00:32:34Since I left the city and discovered the wonders of nature.
00:32:42Get away from me, you flying spawn.
00:32:45It's a bee, Mr. Beatle.
00:32:50See the thing? It flew right at me and tried to kill me.
00:32:52It flew right at me and tried to kill me.
00:33:22Horatio, I'm taking you to the corral, and you are not to speak to me, because you are a horse and I am a human. You got that?
00:33:30Absolutely.
00:33:31Good. No, not good. I didn't hear that.
00:33:36I said absolutely.
00:33:38No, you didn't.
00:33:39Oh, did I mispronounce it? I was just telling you I got what you were saying.
00:33:44Yeah, but you shouldn't. You shouldn't get what I'm saying.
00:33:47Then speak French.
00:33:48Why?
00:33:49Because I don't understand French.
00:33:52It's official. I'm losing my mind.
00:33:54Why? Because you're having a conversation with a talking horse?
00:33:58Uh, yeah.
00:33:59Well, I think it's a good thing. I like being able to communicate.
00:34:03Yeah, well, not when we're on the verge of losing the ranch.
00:34:05Well, what are you saying?
00:34:07Now you don't understand.
00:34:09I mean, what do you mean by that?
00:34:12There's this really rich guy who wants to buy the ranch and turn it into a shopping center.
00:34:17So, unless we can convince him that this place is worth keeping it the way it is, we're done for.
00:34:23Aha! A brilliant idea.
00:34:26Yes?
00:34:26Well, that's what we need. A brilliant idea.
00:34:30Yeah, no kidding.
00:34:32This ranch hasn't made money in almost a year.
00:34:35No one runs out the cabin, so how can we prove that this place can be profitable again?
00:34:39Would you like me to speak with him?
00:34:41You think he's going to talk to a talking horse?
00:34:44No. What we need is something special.
00:34:47Something like...
00:34:49A talking horse.
00:34:53I got it.
00:34:54Well, how about a talking pig?
00:34:55I remember you telling me about that movie years ago with that talking pig,
00:34:59and there was the other one about the spider web and the pig.
00:35:01Humans seem to love pigs.
00:35:03No, just forget about the pig idea.
00:35:06You were a talking horse.
00:35:07Yeah, I thought we already established that.
00:35:10Yeah, well, you're the one who's going to save this ranch.
00:35:12How?
00:35:13My leg is still pretty sore.
00:35:15I don't think I'll be able to win any jumping competitions for a while.
00:35:19You don't have to compete.
00:35:21You are one of a kind.
00:35:22You're a talking horse.
00:35:37I don't think I'm going to be a male model, not you.
00:35:52Stop that.
00:36:04I'm going to be a male model, not you.
00:36:06You can do it.
00:36:07I can do it better.
00:36:08Oh, yeah?
00:36:09Try this on for sons.
00:36:10Are you guys playing charades?
00:36:19Who are you?
00:36:21Yeah, these are our woods.
00:36:22Oh, you must be Pete and Craig.
00:36:24My name is Wes.
00:36:25My father's thinking of buying your property.
00:36:28So you're like the really, really rich kid, huh?
00:36:31Yeah, I've got a money tree growing in my backyard, but I think I like yours better.
00:36:35So do you have, like, money on you?
00:36:38I've got a few bills.
00:36:39Why?
00:36:41You a gambling man, Wes?
00:36:42On occasion.
00:36:44But I bet you $20.
00:36:45If you pick a number from 1 through 10, I can guess it.
00:36:50Okay.
00:36:51You got one?
00:36:51Yes.
00:36:56Number seven.
00:36:57Number six.
00:36:58Nice try, but you were close.
00:37:00I can't believe you.
00:37:02Why doesn't it work when I do it?
00:37:05Thanks, guys.
00:37:06Is the corral this way?
00:37:07Wait a minute.
00:37:08Give me a chance to win back that money.
00:37:09Yeah, give me a chance unless you want a serious beating.
00:37:11Okay.
00:37:12Tell you what.
00:37:14I'll bet you $50 that you guys aren't here.
00:37:17You're going to bet us that we're not here.
00:37:19And I'll prove it.
00:37:21Deal.
00:37:22You're not in Mexico, right?
00:37:25No.
00:37:26And you're not in Detroit.
00:37:27No way.
00:37:28And you're not in England.
00:37:30Right.
00:37:31So if you're not in Mexico, you're not in Detroit, and you're not in England,
00:37:34you must be someplace else.
00:37:37That's right.
00:37:37We must be someplace else.
00:37:39And if you're someplace else, you certainly can't be here.
00:37:42Naturally, if we're someplace else, we can't possibly be here.
00:37:46Come on.
00:37:47Let's go.
00:38:18You see, we were trying to create a family attraction where children and adults could commune with nature.
00:38:29That doesn't sound very healthy.
00:38:31Oh, no, it is. It's very relaxing.
00:38:34You see, people build up a lot of stress in their day-to-day daily grind, and they keep it right here.
00:38:40Ow! What did you just do, woman?
00:38:42It was the biggest knot I've ever felt. You've got to have that looked at by somebody.
00:38:47I see all the top doctors in the city.
00:38:49Well, a doctor can't do anything for that. You need to have a good body massage by someone who knows what she's doing.
00:38:55Are you qualified to give that kind of diagnosis?
00:38:57Yes. I was a masseuse for 20 years. That's how I met my husband. He said I had magic fingers.
00:39:03Speaking of magical, I'd like you all to meet Horatio. A very magical horse.
00:39:17He's a beauty.
00:39:18Yes, yes, that's very nice, but let's go back to the house and discuss the contract, shall we?
00:39:22Oh, no. Mr. Beetle, come closer. I really want you to see this.
00:39:25You're not afraid of a little horse, are you?
00:39:28You call that creature little?
00:39:34Yours money.
00:39:36Boys, boys, behave. We have guests.
00:39:40Okay, Jules, what did you want to show us?
00:39:42Did you teach Horatio a new trick? She's wonderful with animals.
00:39:45Have I ever.
00:39:47Horatio, why don't you say hi to this nice gentleman and introduce yourself?
00:39:52Hello. It's a pleasure to meet you.
00:39:59My name is Horatio.
00:40:01I'm a horse, if you haven't already guessed by my appearance.
00:40:05I enjoy long walks in the woods, hay is my favorite food,
00:40:08and I was considering taking up tap dancing, but unfortunately, I have two left feet.
00:40:15Hey, that was pretty good.
00:40:18Pretty good? Are you kidding me?
00:40:20I mean, maybe it wasn't the best joke in the world, but it was told by a talking horse.
00:40:25A talking horse? Were you crazy?
00:40:28Did you not all hear Horatio just speak?
00:40:32Yes.
00:40:33And?
00:40:35Yes, we did not just all hear Horatio speak.
00:40:38He just kind of grunted and snorted like he always does.
00:40:41But he looks great, Jules. You've done a wonderful job with him.
00:40:44But you didn't hear me there?
00:40:45Say something else.
00:40:55Something else?
00:40:56No, tell another joke.
00:40:58So this horse walks into a bar, and then the bartender asks the horse,
00:41:02why the long face?
00:41:03Get it?
00:41:04You get it? Long face? Horse? Horses have long faces? It's like a pun.
00:41:14I don't think they got it. You want me to try another one?
00:41:17Hey, how long are a horse's legs? Long enough to touch the ground.
00:41:21Jules, you want to take him back to the stable?
00:41:26Wow. This is a tough crowd.
00:41:28I don't believe this. He's talking, guys. He's telling stand-up jokes.
00:41:33What if I sit down and tell him? Would that make a difference?
00:41:37Mr. Beetle, let's go look at another part of the farm. Come on.
00:41:40If you insist.
00:41:43We didn't even have to make a fool out of you this time.
00:41:46You did it all by yourself.
00:41:47Don't be upset.
00:41:53I'm losing my mind.
00:41:55No, you're not.
00:41:57They're just too stupid to hear me.
00:41:59Well, that's easy for you to say.
00:42:01I'm sorry. I was just trying to help.
00:42:03Oh, no. I wasn't talking to you.
00:42:05She was talking to me.
00:42:06Yeah, well, he doesn't know that.
00:42:08You're talking to the horse, aren't you?
00:42:10See? He got it.
00:42:12That's right.
00:42:13And you can hear the horse talking back to you?
00:42:16Should I answer that one?
00:42:18No.
00:42:19So you can't hear the horse?
00:42:21Yes, she can.
00:42:22No, I can't.
00:42:24Who are you talking to?
00:42:26You. I'm talking to you.
00:42:28And I am only talking to you from now on.
00:42:31Okay.
00:42:32Um, you want me to help you bring her a-show back to the stables?
00:42:35Sure.
00:42:36So what?
00:42:37Now you're giving me the silent treatment?
00:42:40What did I do?
00:42:41What is it?
00:42:42Nothing.
00:42:43I didn't hear anything.
00:42:44And I didn't say anything.
00:42:46Can I say something?
00:42:48Didn't hear that yet.
00:42:48I don't know.
00:42:53Not the stables in the Hat, it's not an accent.
00:42:56What?
00:42:57No.
00:43:02It's not an accent.
00:43:03It has nothing.
00:43:04Not all.
00:43:04I don't know.
00:43:05It is.
00:43:06It's not a verb.
00:43:07I don't know.
00:43:08I don't know.
00:43:08It is.
00:43:11It is no way.
00:43:13It is.
00:45:43We'll rent out for this summer to get away from it all.
00:45:48That's nice.
00:45:49Very, very nice.
00:45:50Is your daughter seeing a doctor?
00:45:53Because I know a team of a wonderful therapist in the city.
00:45:55Mr. Beetle, Juliette is a great girl.
00:45:59It was really hard for her losing her father.
00:46:02And now the thought of losing this place?
00:46:04I mean, you can imagine the stress she's under.
00:46:07She loves it here.
00:46:08We all do.
00:46:09I'm beginning to get the impression that you don't want to sell me this land.
00:46:13Miss Bell, if I'm wasting my time...
00:46:14I never said that.
00:46:16Just let me show you the inside of the cabin.
00:46:18I'm just going to check it out first.
00:46:20Craig, Pete, can you entertain Mr. Beetle for a few minutes?
00:46:23I'll be right back.
00:46:24You know, we don't all love it here.
00:46:32No.
00:46:32We want to move back to the city and become famous models.
00:46:35Yeah, don't worry.
00:46:36Mom will sell.
00:46:37She'll definitely sell.
00:46:39Well, it's good to know because I want to pay a lot of money for it.
00:46:42We like money.
00:46:44Yeah, big fans of money.
00:46:46You seem like smart boys.
00:46:48And I wish you could teach my son the same appreciation.
00:46:51He has this absurd notion that money can be used to make the world a better place.
00:46:55Protect the environment, help the poor.
00:46:59I don't know where he gets those ideas from.
00:47:01Probably his mother.
00:47:02But she won't see me throwing my money away like that.
00:47:05Mr. Beetle, do you have two tens for a five?
00:47:09Well, I do indeed.
00:47:14Here is ten for you and ten for you.
00:47:17Okay, you can come in now.
00:47:19Charming boys you have here.
00:47:24Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:47:43Now, I know you can still hear me.
00:47:47Look, I'll get new material.
00:47:49My next performance will have them rolling in the aisles, I promise.
00:47:53I really do love it up here.
00:47:54We don't have anything like this in the city.
00:47:57I don't know why you guys want to turn this place into a shopping mall.
00:47:59We don't.
00:48:01Then why are you selling this place to my father?
00:48:05Well, we can't afford to keep it.
00:48:07But, you know, we don't want anyone to tear it down.
00:48:11I think we could build this ranch up into a real resort.
00:48:14There are a lot of animals and more horses.
00:48:16That would be cool.
00:48:18Wouldn't it?
00:48:20Wouldn't what?
00:48:22Wouldn't that be cool?
00:48:23Oh, I think so.
00:48:24But good luck convincing my father.
00:48:27He hates anything that has to do with the outdoors.
00:48:29It's like he's got some kind of phobia for all things organic.
00:48:32That doesn't sound natural.
00:48:35Will you quit it?
00:48:35You're not funny.
00:48:36I wasn't trying to be funny.
00:48:39I know.
00:48:40I'm sorry.
00:48:41I could be funny.
00:48:43Want to hear a joke?
00:48:44I'm all ears.
00:48:46I didn't do anything yet.
00:48:49I know.
00:48:50Uh, I was just imagining how funny your punchline would be once you finish telling.
00:48:57Continue.
00:48:59Why couldn't the pony sing?
00:49:01Because his voice was a little hoarse.
00:49:03I haven't reached the punchline yet.
00:49:07I'm sorry.
00:49:07I already know that one.
00:49:09Oh.
00:49:10Okay.
00:49:11Uh, how about this one?
00:49:13A cowboy rode off down the road on Wednesday and came back three days later on Wednesday.
00:49:18How's this possible?
00:49:19His horse was named Wednesday.
00:49:23Oh, come on.
00:49:24You know that one too?
00:49:25And Wednesday had two little pony cousins named Monday and Tuesday.
00:49:29Between the three of them, it was a short week.
00:49:33I give up.
00:49:35No, Wes, I'm sorry.
00:49:36I wasn't laughing at you.
00:49:37I know.
00:49:38That's the problem.
00:49:39Will you let him finish his jokes and quit interrupting?
00:49:43I thought we were a good team.
00:49:45It's all about timing, you know.
00:49:46Just shut your trap before you ruin everything.
00:49:49You can hear your A show, can't you?
00:49:51That wasn't an act.
00:49:53Nope.
00:49:54Nope.
00:49:54That would be crazy.
00:49:56And then they would put me in a sane asylum for being crazy.
00:49:59Humans cannot hear animals speaking to them.
00:50:02Well, what about Dr. Doolittle?
00:50:03He was a fictional character in a children's book.
00:50:06He just spoke to you again, didn't he?
00:50:10Yes.
00:50:11But only I can hear him.
00:50:15Oh.
00:50:17They're going to lock me up and throw away the key.
00:50:19Hey, if they do that, I'll bail you out.
00:50:22Get it?
00:50:23Hay.
00:50:24Bail.
00:50:26Bail of hay.
00:50:27Bail you out.
00:50:28No, no, no.
00:50:29Don't cry.
00:50:31It'll be alright.
00:50:33His jokes are so bad.
00:50:35It's painful.
00:50:37Sorry.
00:50:37I'm afraid you're saddled with me.
00:50:40By the way, if they can noixer.
00:50:48It's a peaceful place and there's a place.
00:50:49But I hope I like to try to be a bodyguard.
00:50:52It will be alright.
00:50:53You'll be right back.
00:50:55Mm hmm.
00:50:58So
00:51:27as you can see it's a perfect place for a vacation. It's a great area to raise a family as well.
00:51:37Yeah it's very homely. Homely? Homey. I meant homey. It feels like home.
00:51:44Well that's because it is one. It's our home. Once you sign these documents it can be a great
00:51:50place for thousands of shoppers too. Have you seen anything I've shown you Mr. Beatle?
00:51:57Of course Kimberly. My eyes have been wide open. Except when that buzzing flying creature was trying
00:52:02to kill me. Yeah. I don't think they were. And you can call me Mrs. Bell.
00:52:10Is there a problem? In a syllable? Yes. We don't want to leave our home.
00:52:20Oh, Mrs. Bell, the bank's going to take it away from you.
00:52:23And there's the problem. And all I'm trying to do is help.
00:52:29No. All you're trying to do is help yourself by building another useless mall and make millions
00:52:36of dollars while destroying everything that's right in the world.
00:52:43And what my ass brought that on?
00:52:48You know, you may be a whiz at business and making money, but you don't have a clue about
00:52:55people's feelings. Your son was right. My son. And what did he tell you?
00:53:05About the same thing that you. You're so busy, so wrapped up in your work that
00:53:12you don't even know how to take care of yourself, let alone what's best for the planet.
00:53:17My son's future is all laid out for her, Mrs. Bell. And he will never go hungry.
00:53:22And I can't say the same for your kids if you don't sign these documents. Which, by the way,
00:53:26is no longer on the table. Yeah, I know. It's on the floor. And it's for my health.
00:53:32I have the best doctors in the world. I have the best help. I have the best of everything.
00:53:36And there is nothing, I repeat, nothing that's wrong with me.
00:53:39What is it? My back. Oh, my back. I got a bad back. It's locked up. Here,
00:53:50grab my back pills. They're in the briefcase. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. These, they're useless.
00:53:59They just mask the pain. They don't do anything to solve the problem. Here, let me help you to the couch.
00:54:09Oh, my gosh. Oh. Your back is totally out of whack. I can help you with this.
00:54:16I need Dr. Hurt. Who? My back doctor. Your back doctor is named Dr. Hurt?
00:54:23What's your dentist? Dr. Decay? Oh, Mrs. Bell, I don't appreciate your sense of humor.
00:54:28A man of my position. Yeah, which is almost horizontal. That may be. That doesn't mean
00:54:34I have to put up with your flippant attitude towards my current situation. You know,
00:54:39I think Hulk's going to enjoy this. Hang on. It's going to hurt a little.
00:54:44AHHHHHH!
00:54:47Japanese girl
00:54:50While there's no more, guys are going to hurt,
00:54:50I will hurt an alarm.
00:54:51And now, even though we're still looking for a surgery,
00:54:54I will hurt an alarm.
00:54:55That makes me laugh.
00:54:56Oh, my God.
00:54:58So what am I going to hurt?
00:55:00I am going to hurt an alarm.
00:55:01Oh, my God.
00:55:03I am going to hurt an alarm,
00:55:06I am going to hurt an alarm called the alarm.
00:55:07I do not hurt an alarm.
00:55:09I am going to hurt an alarm.
00:57:41I don't think you're crazy.
00:57:49I'm sure there's a perfectly rational explanation for why you can suddenly communicate with
00:57:53a horse.
00:57:54So, tell me how it began.
00:57:56Okay, well, I was hiding from Pete and Craig because I kind of tricked them out of some
00:58:04money earlier, but that is only because they torture me every single morning of my life.
00:58:09Like, one morning, they moved my alarm clock just out of reach and then tied my foot to the
00:58:16bedpost, so when I got up to turn it off...
00:58:20I don't know.
00:58:28Well, I was in my place.
00:58:31I was in my place.
00:58:32I was in my place.
00:58:35I was in my place.
00:58:37And most recently they poured shaving cream
00:59:06in my hand while I was sleeping.
00:59:08I tickled my nose and I hit myself and...
00:59:11You never told me about that one.
00:59:13Happened this morning.
00:59:16And I really don't feel too bad about taking their money.
00:59:18So, skipping ahead,
00:59:20you say you were hiding from your brothers and...
00:59:22And I was in Horatio's stable
00:59:24and they didn't find me and they finally left.
00:59:27I got out, closed the door and...
00:59:29And the horseshoe fell and knocked her out cold.
00:59:32Exactly.
00:59:33I think I missed a section there.
00:59:35Right.
00:59:35You can't hear him.
00:59:37Stop chiming in, Horatio.
00:59:40So, this horseshoe is above Horatio's stable.
00:59:44So, when I closed the door,
00:59:47it fell, clunked me in the head,
00:59:49and when I woke up,
00:59:50I could hear Horatio speaking to me.
00:59:52Okay, so...
00:59:54Maybe we're dealing with a magical explanation
00:59:56rather than a rational one,
00:59:58but at least we have the cause.
01:00:00It is supposed to be a lucky horseshoe.
01:00:02That's true.
01:00:03Horatio...
01:00:04Wait.
01:00:07Maybe that's it.
01:00:09Since I'm the only one who got hit in the head,
01:00:11maybe I'm the only one who could hear Horatio speaking.
01:00:14I guess that's one theory.
01:00:16Well, we can test it.
01:00:17How?
01:00:18Hit him with the horseshoe and see what happens.
01:00:20It's not a bad idea.
01:00:23What's not a bad idea?
01:00:25Horatio suggested that if I hit you with the horseshoe,
01:00:28maybe you'll be able to hear him too.
01:00:29That's a horrible idea.
01:00:31Why?
01:00:32It sounds like it involves pain.
01:00:33No, we don't have to hit you that hard.
01:00:35How about a little tap on the head?
01:00:38Really?
01:00:38Okay, but be gentle.
01:00:45Ow!
01:00:46Can you hear me?
01:00:48Did he say anything?
01:00:50What we've got here is a failure to communicate.
01:00:54Let me try again.
01:00:55Hit him again.
01:00:56Ow!
01:00:57Can you hear me now?
01:00:58Anything?
01:00:59I hear slight ringing.
01:01:01Sounds like we're on the right track.
01:01:03Hit him again.
01:01:03Harder!
01:01:04Ow!
01:01:05How about now?
01:01:07Can you hear him now?
01:01:08I can't hear anything now.
01:01:10Once more.
01:01:15Oh, God.
01:01:17Wes?
01:01:18Wes, speak to me.
01:01:20I knocked him out.
01:01:21Well, that's what happened to you.
01:01:23When he wakes up, hopefully he'll be able to understand me.
01:01:26Yes, if he wakes up.
01:01:28I don't believe this.
01:01:30The first guy I actually like.
01:01:32And I kill him.
01:01:34Okay.
01:01:35Wes, wake up.
01:01:38Hi.
01:01:41Ho, ho, ho.
01:01:43Up and at him.
01:01:44Time to wake up.
01:01:45Let's go.
01:01:50Hello, Wes.
01:01:51Nice day, isn't it?
01:01:53Yes, Mr. Tree.
01:01:55It's very nice.
01:01:56I see you're branching out all over.
01:01:57Hey, watch where you're stepping, buddy.
01:02:05Sorry, blades of grass.
01:02:06I didn't see you growing there.
01:02:15Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
01:02:17Hey, I heard that.
01:02:18You want to know what I heard?
01:02:20Juliet is looking for you, and she has something to say.
01:02:23Horatio said you have something to tell me.
01:02:37What is it?
01:02:38Yuck.
01:02:39That did the trick.
01:02:44I think I might have hit you a little too hard.
01:02:47Sorry.
01:02:48You think?
01:02:49Because I don't even believe my brain's functioning anymore.
01:02:51Just drop the horseshoe, okay?
01:02:54And not on my head this time.
01:02:56I'm sorry.
01:02:57It was a dumb move.
01:02:58I should have never listened to a talking horse.
01:03:02Are you okay?
01:03:05I feel like I have a hangover, and I don't even drink.
01:03:07Well, you know what they say.
01:03:09You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him wink.
01:03:13It's drink, not wink.
01:03:15Oh, right.
01:03:17That makes sense.
01:03:18Why would you bring a horse to water to make him wink?
01:03:21That's just silly.
01:03:22Besides, I wink all the time.
01:03:24Well, I drink too, so I don't know what the point is actually of saying all that.
01:03:28It's a metaphor.
01:03:29It means that everyone's supposed to take control of their own lives.
01:03:32You can't force a person to do something they don't want to do.
01:03:35Which is probably why hitting someone in the head with a horseshoe
01:03:38isn't going to suddenly make them believe in something like...
01:03:40Being able to hear a talking horse?
01:03:43Exactly.
01:03:45Wes, who are you having this conversation with?
01:03:48I was just responding to Horace...
01:03:50Yo.
01:03:52Why are you staring at me like that?
01:03:54He's...
01:03:55He's talking.
01:03:57Oh!
01:03:58Not again.
01:03:58Hehehe!
01:04:28Oh my gosh, I feel so good!
01:04:48What did you do?
01:04:50Just a little alignment to get you back on track, so to speak.
01:04:54This is amazing.
01:04:56I haven't felt this good since, since Bev.
01:04:59What?
01:05:03Well, my, my wife used to give me back massages when we were together.
01:05:07And, uh, I do miss that.
01:05:10Yeah, well, a man can miss a lot of things when he doesn't take a moment to stop and look around.
01:05:18Drink up.
01:05:20What is this?
01:05:21It's good for you. Drink it.
01:05:23Well, I'm allergic to a lot of things.
01:05:25I'm not supposed to have a lot of sugar or starch.
01:05:27Dairy's out of the question.
01:05:28It's pretty much just fruits, so...
01:05:30Don't be such a baby and drink this stuff.
01:05:35If your doctors told you that living was bad for your health,
01:05:39that you would seriously consider trying not to do it.
01:05:42Wow, I can feel my nasal passages starting to open up.
01:05:45Yeah, it's my own special herbal brand.
01:05:49It's much better than that stuff you get on the shelves.
01:05:53I can breathe.
01:05:55I can actually breathe.
01:05:56Yeah.
01:05:57And breathing is good for you.
01:05:59I'm sure your doctors would not even disagree with that.
01:06:03You know, I used to own a home in the countryside.
01:06:05Had a lot of good times there.
01:06:07Well, Wes was barely three when we moved to the city,
01:06:11so he might not remember much of it.
01:06:13That's a shame.
01:06:15Why did you leave?
01:06:18Well, I'd be closer to work.
01:06:21And then when Bev left me,
01:06:23he's had too many memories there,
01:06:24so we sold the place.
01:06:27Yeah.
01:06:28I guess it was time.
01:06:29Yeah, well, that's what I'm good at, right?
01:06:35Buying and selling.
01:06:36Not so much on the long-term investment.
01:06:39Ask my ex-wives.
01:06:41Yeah, that was Ryan's speciality.
01:06:43Building and developing.
01:06:45But he was also good at nurturing the kids.
01:06:48You're good at that too, Miss Bell.
01:06:52Kim.
01:06:54Monty.
01:06:56By the way, do you have any more of this wonderful tea?
01:07:00Yeah, I do.
01:07:01And I'll take another look at those contracts, too.
01:07:08Okay.
01:07:13Continue on your way, Spawn.
01:07:14Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go
01:07:44Wesley?
01:07:55Wes?
01:07:57Now what are we going to do?
01:07:59I didn't do anything to him.
01:08:01He's just horsing around.
01:08:03No, he's passed out.
01:08:06Well, get the pail.
01:08:07Splash him.
01:08:09It's empty.
01:08:10I don't want to drown the poor guy.
01:08:12So, he just fell asleep?
01:08:15Pretty much.
01:08:16Then why don't you try what they do in all those stories?
01:08:19What stories?
01:08:20You know, the ones you used to read to me when we were growing up.
01:08:24About the prince and the princess.
01:08:26Which one?
01:08:27I don't know. It doesn't matter.
01:08:29They all end up the same way.
01:08:31The princess kisses the prince and he wakes up.
01:08:34No, the prince is always the one to kiss the princess.
01:08:36Not the other way around.
01:08:37And then she wakes up.
01:08:38It's never the other way around?
01:08:41No.
01:08:42Well, not unless the prince is a frog or some other type of animal.
01:08:45Then he turns into a prince.
01:08:48Is that why you were always kissing me when we were younger?
01:08:51It's worth a try.
01:08:52Well then, isn't it worth a shot?
01:08:56Come on, be the first.
01:08:57Start a fashion.
01:09:00Your first kiss.
01:09:01I'm so proud.
01:09:03I wish I had a camera.
01:09:04Don't watch me.
01:09:20Oh, Juliet.
01:09:22Juliet.
01:09:24Is that all you can say?
01:09:27Wherefore art thou, Juliet?
01:09:30Sitting next to a pile of manure, if you must know.
01:09:33I had the strangest dream.
01:09:35That you were talking with Ratio?
01:09:37Yeah.
01:09:38But then I had another dream where I thought I woke up and...
01:09:41I was still talking to you?
01:09:46How you doing, Romeo?
01:09:49Is this like a dream within a dream within a nightmare?
01:09:53Depends.
01:09:54Did you think I kissed you in the dream or the nightmare?
01:09:57You kissed me?
01:09:58For real?
01:09:59Cool.
01:10:02So, that means this is...
01:10:04Really happening?
01:10:06A horse is talking to me.
01:10:08A horse is actually speaking.
01:10:10To me.
01:10:11He can speak to me, too.
01:10:12Jules, when the world finds out about this...
01:10:14Yeah, that's kind of the hard part.
01:10:16Remember?
01:10:17Oh, yeah.
01:10:18We can't exactly go around bashing people on the head with that thing.
01:10:21Some might get upset.
01:10:22And who knows how much luck is left in that horseshoe.
01:10:25There may be a limited supply.
01:10:27We have to find my dad.
01:10:29Yeah, and convince my mom not to sell.
01:10:31Not when there are miracles happening here.
01:10:34You're right.
01:10:35This discovery is a lot more important than another dumb shopping mall.
01:10:38Bring the horseshoe.
01:10:39Maybe if we both explain it to them.
01:10:42We'll be back.
01:10:44Not so fast.
01:10:46Nobody's leaving here until we settle a certain amount of debt.
01:10:48Yeah, you won some money from us earlier.
01:10:50And we want a rematch with a game you can't possibly cheat at.
01:10:53Cards.
01:10:55Really?
01:10:56You don't think people cheat at cards?
01:10:57Not the way we play.
01:10:58Yeah.
01:10:59PIANO PLAYS
01:11:29You've done a really beautiful job here, Kim.
01:11:50Did you decorate yourself?
01:11:53Mostly. Interior design has always been a hobby of mine.
01:11:57I'd say it's more than a hobby.
01:12:00Magical figures, incredible tea, great taste.
01:12:03Could be the perfect woman.
01:12:05You cook?
01:12:07Okay, so nobody's perfect.
01:12:10But I do make a mean lasagna.
01:12:15You know, you were right about this.
01:12:18This is an amazing deal.
01:12:20I would be crazy not to take it.
01:12:22Plus, it'll be a big help next year when the boys go to college with their tuition.
01:12:27Well, feel free to have your lawyers look it over.
01:12:29Oh, they already have.
01:12:31Yeah, I emailed them the advance copy you sent me.
01:12:35And they basically said I would be a fool not to take the deal.
01:12:39Oh.
01:12:41So?
01:12:43Well, I think I have proven to you that I am not a fool.
01:12:47No, no, you definitely are not.
01:12:49Okay, so I guess there is just one more question, Monty.
01:12:57Yes?
01:12:58Do you have a pen?
01:13:04Thanks.
01:13:05Thanks, guys.
01:13:22But you don't understand.
01:13:46We have to stop Mom from selling the land.
01:13:48There are magical properties in this horseshoe.
01:13:50She's right, and if we can figure out a way to capitalize on it, we can save your ranch.
01:13:55No, you don't understand.
01:13:57We don't want to save the ranch.
01:13:59Pete and I are going to move back to the city and become world famous posers.
01:14:02Yeah, you guys are posers all right.
01:14:05So, we want Mom to sell, and there's no getting in the way of that.
01:14:08Now we have some money to win back.
01:14:10This time it's on our rules.
01:14:12No more two tens for a five, no more word games.
01:14:15This time we're playing cards.
01:14:17These cards never lie.
01:14:19I don't know how to play cards.
01:14:21Well, it's very easy.
01:14:22I'll pick a card from the deck.
01:14:24Bet you $10 versus everything you stole from us today.
01:14:27What's the game?
01:14:28You just have to guess the card.
01:14:31Simple, right?
01:14:34So, what card am I holding?
01:14:36Jewels.
01:14:37Four of spades.
01:14:39Four of spades?
01:14:41What?
01:14:42No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:14:45Best two out of three.
01:14:46Now what card am I holding?
01:14:51Ten of diamonds.
01:14:52Ten of diamonds.
01:14:54What the?
01:14:56Oh, come on.
01:14:57Seriously?
01:14:58Can you see what card I'm holding?
01:15:00No.
01:15:01It's impossible.
01:15:02Well, only pretty boy can answer this time.
01:15:07So, what card am I holding, pretty boy?
01:15:11King of hearts.
01:15:13Oh, I don't know.
01:15:15I'm just going to have to take a wild guess, king of hearts.
01:15:21What the?
01:15:30Pete, what are you doing?
01:15:32I don't know.
01:15:33They guessed the cards.
01:15:34I don't know how.
01:15:35I can't explain it.
01:15:40That was actually kind of fun.
01:15:41That was actually kind of cheating, but you're right.
01:15:43It was fun.
01:15:44Shoot.
01:15:45I forgot the horseshoe.
01:15:46We'll just have to convince them without it.
01:15:47I just hope we're not too late.
01:15:50I can't believe you gave them all our money.
01:15:52They guessed the card.
01:15:53What was I supposed to do?
01:15:54Get our money back.
01:15:55That was the plan, idiot.
01:15:56Don't call me an idiot, moron.
01:15:57Don't call me a moron, idiot.
01:16:00How did that feel?
01:16:01Give me that.
01:16:05Did I knock some sense into you?
01:16:06Yeah, let me give you back the change.
01:16:10Aw, did that hurt?
01:16:11Let me divert the pain.
01:16:14Kids, remember.
01:16:17Don't try this at home.
01:16:21If I could just chime in here for the record, I think you're both idiots.
01:16:26Who asked you?
01:16:27It is I, Horatio, king of all horses, ruler of the stable, drinker from the sacred bucket, and eater of the holy hay and foolish young boys.
01:16:41Those who toy with my magical horseshoe must endure my wrath.
01:16:46Please, no.
01:16:47We didn't mean it.
01:16:49Listen to me now or perish.
01:16:52What breed of horse can jump higher than a house?
01:16:55All breeds.
01:16:57Houses don't jump.
01:16:58What part of a horse has the most hair?
01:17:02The outside.
01:17:05What do you call a horse wearing a Venetian blind?
01:17:09A zebra.
01:17:11Oh, God.
01:17:12Make it stop.
01:17:13That one didn't even make sense.
01:17:15Don't worry, boys.
01:17:16I got a million of them.
01:17:18What's a horse's favorite sickness?
01:17:20Hay fever.
01:17:21Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:17:42Trust me.
01:17:44You won't be sorry.
01:17:46Well, I guess one can't stand in the way of progress.
01:17:51Mom, no.
01:17:52You can't sign.
01:17:53You promised.
01:17:54Dad, did you close the deal?
01:17:56Look around, son.
01:17:57It's all ours.
01:17:59Jules, I know you're upset, but believe me, it's for the best.
01:18:03No, you're wrong.
01:18:05They can't tear down this place.
01:18:06It will destroy the magic.
01:18:08What will happen to Horatio?
01:18:10She's right, Dad.
01:18:11This isn't a normal ranch.
01:18:12It's special.
01:18:14It's one of a kind.
01:18:17The people or the place?
01:18:19Both.
01:18:21They have a talking horse.
01:18:22I know it sounds insane, but he really can talk.
01:18:25It's true, Mom.
01:18:26Not everyone can hear him, but if I just smash you around with-
01:18:29Jules, enough with the games.
01:18:32We'll be happy in the city.
01:18:33You'll see.
01:18:34It'll just take a little getting used to.
01:18:37Where are your brothers?
01:18:38I want to give them the good news.
01:18:40Dad, trust me.
01:18:41Just one swift hit on the head with that thing and you'll see.
01:18:44Don't worry about the brain damage.
01:18:45It'll pass.
01:18:46That won't be necessary, son.
01:18:47I've seen the light and this place is going to be huge.
01:18:50People are going to come from miles around.
01:18:52But it does require one special ingredient to make the whole thing work.
01:18:56I will absolutely need Miss Bell to manage the place.
01:19:00But, Mr. Beetle, I don't know anything about running a mall.
01:19:04Well, you know just about everything else.
01:19:06And once people come and drink your amazing tea, breathe in the air and get away from the city,
01:19:11they're going to feel 20 years younger.
01:19:13I know.
01:19:14I'm not just the owner.
01:19:16I'm also a client.
01:19:18So, welcome to Bell and Beetle's Wonder Ranch, where dreams come true.
01:19:21How's that sound?
01:19:23Monty, do you mean it?
01:19:25You mean we can stay?
01:19:26Dad, are you feeling okay?
01:19:27The answer is yes, yes, and a big fat yes.
01:19:31I've never felt better.
01:19:32And what about Horatio?
01:19:34Horatio can stay.
01:19:35The animals can stay.
01:19:36We'll get more animals.
01:19:37I want to build this place up to be the most fantastic ranch for humans and animals alike.
01:19:40Let them intermingle.
01:19:42People can pet the animals, can talk to the animals.
01:19:45And some of them might even talk back to you.
01:19:48When did you decide to do all of this?
01:19:50Well, I believe I came down with something since we first arrived here.
01:19:54Oh really?
01:19:55Is it contagious?
01:19:57I believe so.
01:19:59It comes about when someone gets too far away from their past.
01:20:02I believe I'm homesick.
01:20:05Dad, did you just make a joke?
01:20:08I don't know.
01:20:09Do bad jokes count?
01:20:10Around here they do.
01:20:11Just ask Horatio.
01:20:13We have to tell Horatio.
01:20:15I love you, Mom.
01:20:17You too, Dad. This is great.
01:20:20Well, I think I finally made my son proud.
01:20:23I think the kids have really hit it off.
01:20:26Yeah, with horseshoes.
01:20:28Is that a joke?
01:20:30Watch out.
01:20:32You could just become funny.
01:20:34Yeah?
01:20:35I'll work on it.
01:20:36How about you give me lessons over dinner tonight, Kimberly?
01:20:39Do you like lasagna?
01:20:41I think it may soon become one of my favorite dishes.
01:20:43I think it may soon become one of my favorite dishes.
01:20:44I can't believe we did it.
01:20:45We didn't even have to prove Horatio could do it.
01:20:46I can't believe we did it.
01:20:47I can't believe we did it.
01:20:48We didn't even have to prove Horatio could speak.
01:20:49Perhaps it's better if we keep that secret to ourselves.
01:20:54If word gets out that we have a talking horse, everyone will start trying to exploit him.
01:20:56There will be t-shirts, lunch boxes, marketing gimmicks galore.
01:20:57I can't believe we did it.
01:20:58I can't believe we did it.
01:20:59We didn't even have to prove Horatio could speak.
01:21:02Perhaps it's better if we keep that secret to ourselves.
01:21:28If word gets out that we have a talking horse, everyone will start trying to exploit him.
01:21:29There will be t-shirts, lunch boxes, marketing gimmicks galore.
01:21:30Someone will probably even make a movie about him.
01:21:31talking horse movie no more no more bad jokes stop please let it out that was odd wonder what that
01:21:50was about
01:22:01we're not here all alone even if we spend some time alone helps to know there's a place to go
01:22:11cause you and me is how it's meant to be laughing with each other
01:22:31so
01:22:34so
01:22:38so
01:22:43so
01:22:44so
01:22:49so
01:24:26This is definitely the end.
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