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Beyond The Limits Of Love Season 1 Episode 4 - Full
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00:00Every time you go on a date with me, you talk to me about my boobs.
00:11Smaller boobs is normally my thing.
00:13So what you're saying is you're curious.
00:17Just two days ago, I was in a very committed relationship,
00:20and now I am very much dating.
00:22I still feel good about wanting marriage,
00:24but I definitely haven't been thinking about the ultimatum as much.
00:31Like, I'm starting to think more about my dates
00:33than I am about the fact that I asked her to marry me.
00:37I think I feel a little overwhelmed.
00:39Like, your ex-girlfriend that you've been with for three years is over here,
00:43and all these, like, new ladies are over here,
00:45and my ex is my competition, which is very weird.
00:50So you were issued the ultimatum.
00:51Yes, it's weird, because you gave an ultimatum, and I got an ultimatum.
00:55And we're, like, so far apart and so together with it.
00:59We know the three options that you leave with are marriage to the person you came with,
01:04break up, or fall in love with someone new.
01:07At the end of this week, I'll be making a choice,
01:10not just a trial marriage wife, but a life partner.
01:13Just, like, let that one sink in for a second,
01:15because that is where I'm at right now.
01:17I had been with Xander for four years.
01:18I lost a spark, and as much as I loved her, like, she was more my best friend,
01:23my roommate, versus, like, this thrilling relationship.
01:26If your ex came up to you, like, right now and proposed to you,
01:30do you, like, have any idea what you'd do?
01:34I would say no.
01:35I would not be comfortable marrying her right now.
01:39No, because I'm connecting with you and with some other people, no big deal.
01:43Except my ex welcome.
01:44I feel like I can see the devil in your face right now.
01:49What?
01:50And I could be totally wrong,
01:51but I don't think my ex is going through what I am going through currently.
01:56That's funny, because I feel like you know how I feel about you.
01:59I didn't think I was going to connect with anyone.
02:01I feel so confused about the potential of developing, like, an actual some form of a relationship with you,
02:10and then we're both going to go move back in with our exes,
02:13and then it's like, what the fuck just happened?
02:15Our lives are going to blow up?
02:16Yeah, absolutely.
02:17You're going to be my atomic bomb?
02:20Duh.
02:20If anybody's going to fuck this shit up, I feel like it's the two of us.
02:27Oh, I thought you were just stopping at fuck, and I'm just like, ah!
02:33You want to sit on my face?
02:35I didn't say it, you did.
02:36Give me a hug and say goodbye?
02:45I am more confused since I gave the ultimatum.
02:49I was ready to get down on one knee, would have done it on the last night,
02:52and now I'm like, what's happening to me?
02:55Vanessa is full in a china shop.
02:57She's wildly inappropriate and slightly offensive,
03:00but it's fun and it's flirty.
03:02Like, there's obviously an attraction there,
03:04but she probably could kill me in my sleep.
03:06So, all right.
03:08This is nice.
03:09This is very nice.
03:10It's that, like, lovely little campfire mood that I like.
03:13Mal is, like, wholesome, love, a warm cup of tea.
03:19I'm trying to find a wife,
03:21trying to find a person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
03:23I'm not sure if I need something more challenging
03:26or more uncomfortable for that trial marriage.
03:29I've dated quite a bit.
03:30I'm sure you've dated.
03:31Like, I could, we could physically do all the things.
03:34That's fine.
03:35We'd figure our bodies out.
03:36What, like...
03:37No problems.
03:38Easy.
03:38We're both assertive.
03:39It'd be great.
03:40But my parents are best friends.
03:42My father has always been like, you have to be friends first.
03:45I have to be, like, emotionally in line
03:47before I can even explore anything physically romantic, if you will.
03:51The person you're with should be your best friend.
03:53I feel like we're building the bricks really well.
03:57Yeah.
03:58I do feel that with you.
03:59Yeah.
04:00But have you ever dated anybody that looks like me?
04:04Like, a black person?
04:06No, I haven't.
04:09The first thing that I noticed was that, like, you were more mask presenting.
04:13Yeah.
04:13It didn't even occur to me that I also had not been with somebody who's black.
04:18I was more, oh, my God, I just have never found myself attracted to someone who's mask first.
04:23That was the first thing I thought of.
04:25Dating Ray, who was Chinese, that was really the first experience I'd had outside of dating a white person.
04:30Yeah.
04:30I will not lie, that was a learning curve, and I don't want to say that I know enough or anything.
04:38I'm not afraid of the learning in that.
04:40I don't want to avoid that.
04:42That's enough.
04:43That's enough for me.
04:44Your race doesn't matter to me.
04:45I've dated across the board, so I'm good with that.
04:48Um, but yeah.
04:49Have you dated Jewish before?
04:51I have not.
04:52Ah-ha!
04:53So I do bring something different.
04:55I can show you how to make matzo ball soup.
04:58I actually can.
04:59And I would need to bring my mom for that, but she could teach you how to make good matzo ball soup.
05:03Yes.
05:03Yes, yes, yes, yes.
05:05Ah-ha!
05:06You and I have built, like, our connection genuinely off of honesty.
05:10I felt, like, coming into this experience, I didn't know if the person I was with would say yes to me.
05:15And that lack of assurance, the lack of safety in terms of, like, not knowing when we could take the next step.
05:20If we were together, you would always show up.
05:23I just know that about you.
05:25Nothing against my ex, but I had that.
05:27I don't know.
05:28Well, what if she just walks away one day?
05:30You issued the ultimatum.
05:31Mm-hmm.
05:32But, like, maybe that changes.
05:33Maybe you do just want to date somebody for a little while that just shows up for you consistently.
05:37You're just trying to convince me to be able to date you and not get engaged.
05:40Absolutely not.
05:41I think we should, like, let's just, if I could do it today.
05:45Yeah.
05:45In this, like, right now, I'd be like, let's just do it.
05:47Yeah.
05:47I mean, I got issued the ultimatum, um, which is wild that I'm showing up so sure.
05:53Like, I'm like, oh, yeah, I know.
05:55Mm-hmm.
05:56Right.
05:56Easy.
05:56No question.
05:57I know.
05:57I'm going to have to, like, deal with maybe you snore at night.
06:00I don't snore.
06:01Perfect.
06:02I don't snore.
06:04Maybe you eat really slappy or loud.
06:06No.
06:08See?
06:08I don't do that either.
06:09I don't know if I pick Mal over Vanessa or Vanessa over Mal.
06:13I just, like, can see so clearly that one is, like, just cozy and, like, easy.
06:18And the other one is, like, way over here and, like, the lightning and the thunderstorms.
06:22I know a choice is coming up.
06:23I don't know what I'm going to do.
06:25So, it's weird to be hearing somebody that, like, I trust saying that they're sure.
06:33They're sure and they're in.
06:34Yeah.
06:35I know what I want.
06:35I know what I need.
06:37With you, I've been very short.
06:40Yeah.
06:51My favorite thing I love cooking is actually Thai food.
06:54I love cooking Thai food.
06:55Okay.
06:56Do you enjoy cooking with your partner or do you normally just cook four?
06:59So, I kind of want my partner to get the fuck out of the way when I cook.
07:03Okay.
07:03Um, just because, like, I'm sorry.
07:06I'm running the show.
07:07Yeah.
07:07So, I'll, like, prep everything, right?
07:09Like, I'll get all the veggies, like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
07:11Like, maybe I'll be like, oh, can you, like, cut the carrot or something like that?
07:14I don't know.
07:14But don't get in my bowl room.
07:16I don't really mind if my partner likes to just do their own thing.
07:20What actually makes you mad?
07:21Actually, that's what I'm curious about.
07:21What does make me mad?
07:23Because you seem, like, so nice.
07:25I like to say I'm very low maintenance.
07:26My last relationship, I felt like there was a lot of passive-aggressiveness.
07:31Um, you were the passive-aggressive one?
07:33No, no, no, no.
07:33Or they were?
07:33They were.
07:34Oh, got it.
07:35Yeah.
07:35Got it.
07:35Like, how do you solve anything when you're taking the steps to ask what's wrong and you
07:40get nothing?
07:41You're like, no, I'm good.
07:42And then you're like, wait, I can't read your mind.
07:44Until the next blow up.
07:46Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:46It's been hard, you know?
07:48And I just don't, I just, sometimes I feel like I don't, like, I'm here, I'm tearing up.
07:53Because it's like, sometimes I feel like I don't, I try, I try my best and I feel like
07:56I, like, I'm not understood.
07:59God damn it, I'm crying like a little bitch.
08:00I hate that.
08:01No, but it's fine.
08:02Like, for me, that relates to healthy communication with my partner.
08:08Yeah.
08:08If we were in this marriage together, you can feel like I would support you.
08:13There's obviously, there's a spark there, right?
08:17I'm open to it.
08:18Take it a step further.
08:19So, two days ago, Mildred gave me an ultimatum.
08:23And from what I'm hearing, Sam can bring something to the table that actually Mildred could not.
08:28And that is Sam's communication.
08:31There's this sweetness to it.
08:33I was not expecting that, actually.
08:35My dream is, um, in five years, I see myself married in a home with my family.
08:54Just my partner, my son, all my animals.
08:57And when you mentioned marriage.
08:58Yeah.
08:58I do want to get married.
09:01Wow.
09:01I just, I discovered.
09:03Oh, my God, Ozzy, every time I talk to you.
09:04I know, it's like.
09:05Tell me.
09:06I surprise myself.
09:07I do want, you know, long-term commitment and a, you know, happy home and creating a life together,
09:14celebrating love, celebrating each other for the rest of our lives.
09:18Oh, hold on.
09:20I gotta be like, yay.
09:22Yay.
09:23Ozzy, you've come a long ways.
09:26I know, in two days.
09:27You look so much happier right now.
09:29Thank you for saying that.
09:30I do feel a lot more myself.
09:33I also think that's part of my journey, is speaking my truth.
09:36It's kind of scary.
09:37It's almost like, first, when you come out, that's one thing when you're like, oh, I am
09:42gay, you know, or I like the same sex.
09:46And now it's like another discovery of, like, okay, do I identify as male, female?
09:54You know, what does that look like?
09:55Am I trans?
09:56And it's scary, but at the same time, I'm excited.
10:00I think I'm at the precipice of discovering what my calling is, why I was born at this
10:07time.
10:07I didn't have representation when I was growing up, you know?
10:10And I think that's something that I'm really passionate about, is to help the kids.
10:16I want to be part of your journey.
10:17I think that discovering yourself and, like, just finding who you are, I think it's so
10:22beautiful.
10:22I feel comfortable talking to you, like, you make me laugh, and we just have, like, this
10:27little cute chemistry going on.
10:28And I do also feel safe talking to you.
10:33And I'm there 100% to support you.
10:35You deserve to be happy.
10:37Yeah.
10:37Like, we all deserve to be happy.
10:39I want marriage, you want marriage, you know?
10:41I discovered I want marriage.
10:43You did?
10:44It must be, you know, our talks, because I've been just getting a bit clearer every day.
10:52What does falling in love feel like for you?
10:57I think falling in love for me is, like, realizing that the person I'm with, I, like, can't breathe
11:06without them, knowing that no one's perfect and loving them unconditionally.
11:11Yeah.
11:12Perfectly imperfect.
11:14It's making me emotional because just to sit in a date with somebody and see that it can
11:19happen so fast, I just don't understand how it just has taken this long for Tiff not to
11:28connect with me.
11:30I'm just feeling really confused.
11:36I love single Vanessa.
11:49I think single Vanessa is very fun.
11:51It's exciting to date.
11:52It's exciting to be looking at someone else and thinking, whoa, what are you thinking of
11:56me right now?
11:56You have blankets?
11:57I do have blankets.
11:59Typically in life, I'm someone who wants to keep my options open, but I'm getting much
12:04closer to narrowing it down through just my two favorite people, definitely Lexi, but
12:09I'm also really into her ex-girlfriend, Ray.
12:14It's a shit show.
12:17It's a shit show.
12:21Okay, I have a question that I want to ask you, and I really look forward to your answer.
12:26What are three things that you love about yourself?
12:31Um, I don't know.
12:36If you can't name three things you love about yourself, I think I can name three things I
12:39love about you.
12:40Oh, no, I don't want that.
12:42Cool.
12:42Then you better name three things you love about yourself.
12:44Okay.
12:44Um.
12:47I love that when you're nervous, you start shaking your foot.
12:50Um, I think I really, really care about the people that I'm close to, and I think that's
12:59why it takes me a long time to, like, get there.
13:02Because if you are in my life, like, I love you, and I'm going to, like, worry about you.
13:07Yeah, yeah.
13:07So I think that's something I like about myself.
13:10I like that I'm athletic.
13:12It makes, uh, doing things fun.
13:17All right, I don't have a third one.
13:18You can give me one.
13:18Um, I love how I can't figure you out.
13:22I feel like I know people pretty easily, pretty quickly.
13:25Like, I think I'm a pretty good judge of character, and I don't understand you at all.
13:30We're giving you a second one.
13:33And I like that.
13:35I like that you're unpredictable to me, and I, like, I'm, I don't know, I'm just so lost
13:40with you.
13:41Like, you are so not someone that I feel like I understand easily.
13:46Why do you need to understand someone, like?
13:48Isn't there a good nervousness?
13:51I feel like...
13:51That's what I, I mean, I hate, I don't like being nervous, but...
13:54That's my number three thing about you.
13:56Mm-hmm.
13:57And I don't get that a lot.
13:59Okay.
14:01I'm not going to respond to that.
14:02I didn't think you would.
14:03You're all so beautiful.
14:08I think that's what I was thinking, looking at you.
14:12So you don't take compliments all either?
14:14Nope.
14:15Yeah.
14:15Okay.
14:16I was given an ultimatum, and I was given that ultimatum because I didn't know if I ever
14:24wanted to get married.
14:25Right now, I'm dating Lexi and Ray.
14:28They came in here as a couple, and it's very strange.
14:33They both know that I'm going on dates with each other, and I feel kind of weird about
14:40feeling like a homewrecker, where they feel like one of them got chosen over the other.
14:45But at the end of this week, I'm going to have to make a really important choice about
14:51who I see as someone I could potentially marry, and a choice does need to be made.
14:56I'm just so good at being bad, everything you wish you had.
15:04We've had long-term relationships, and, like, obviously, I think that we both want to get
15:08married, like, since we were the ones that gave the ultimatum.
15:11I want to know about a little bit more about, like, children.
15:14Oh, yeah.
15:14I think that you mentioned that you would carry a child.
15:17I want to if I can, absolutely.
15:18Yeah, same.
15:18I don't know 100% if I can, but, like, if I can, then I do want to.
15:22Long-term-wise, how would that look for you?
15:24If we were, like, married, would your child be your child, and mine would be mine, or would
15:28it be, like, our children?
15:30Definitely ours.
15:31I think it's weird.
15:32I could fucking adopt and still be like, that's our kid, you know?
15:35Like, it's just, like, family's what you make of it, so no, it wouldn't be, this is
15:39my kid, because I technically birthed it.
15:42That's just so weird.
15:43You're in this journey together.
15:44I'm sorry if someone's, like, said something opposite.
15:46Like, that sucks.
15:47Like, that's not a cool place to be at.
15:51My ex would have her own kids, and then I would have my own kids.
15:57It's so strange.
15:58Yeah, I think so, too.
16:00I feel like the reason, one of the reasons why I want to get married in the first place
16:04is to have this, like, one unit, like, one family.
16:07Yeah.
16:07I want, like, our kid to feel loved by both of us evenly.
16:11Like, it doesn't matter who's going to pick who up from school.
16:13Right.
16:13Like, they're going to feel loved and supported and, like, yeah.
16:17Totally.
16:18In totality.
16:18Like, absolutely.
16:19You are such a lover.
16:22Yeah.
16:22Is that true?
16:23Yeah.
16:23You're, like, very much like a...
16:24I am, like, a lover.
16:25I am going to be there for my partner, like, no matter what.
16:28I love doing romantic gestures and things like that.
16:32Most of the time, I'm, like, pretty ready.
16:36Yeah.
16:36Like, ready to...
16:37Yeah.
16:39I'm a pretty sexual person.
16:41Sometimes it's just, like, lay me down, shut me up, and, like, I am a fucking angel after sex.
16:46So I'm always, like, then why aren't we doing this more often?
16:49With my ex, there was not enough sex.
16:52Once a week is just perfect maintenance for me.
16:55Twice a week would probably make me a nicer person.
16:57But it's not just having sex.
16:59So it goes back to the commitment.
17:00With Xander, not only does she want to be married and have children, but vibe-wise, like, she feels really sensual.
17:07So that's why I think maybe it's worth exploring it.
17:11Yeah.
17:14Thunderstorm time is very sexy to me.
17:17Yeah, there's, like, a lot of emotion and senses to it.
17:21And electricity, literally, is what I feel.
17:22I feel like this, like, turmoil kind of.
17:24Yeah.
17:25I wish I could dance, because then we could go dance in the rain, but...
17:28You don't dance?
17:29I can't dance.
17:30Can you?
17:31I've lost it.
17:32Yes.
17:33And, um, I'm trying to get it back.
17:35I have it in me.
17:36So you, like, sometimes initiate, you sometimes don't.
17:39What's where you're at?
17:39I feel like there's nothing that's, like, off boundaries for me.
17:43Like, I think it would be good for you to, like, pace me a little bit.
17:46Because I do think it's fun, too.
17:48You'd go right at it?
17:49No, not right at it.
17:50But, like, kind of?
17:51I think that I would definitely, like, pass a little move.
17:56Like what?
17:56Like this.
17:58Oh, okay.
18:00I mean, I would definitely, like, want to be closer.
18:02Uh-huh.
18:02And I hope you're okay with this.
18:08I feel this, like, connection with you, and it feels really good.
18:11Yeah.
18:11I don't really know how to describe it, but it's, like, I'm trying to, like, keep myself from
18:16smiling at this.
18:17I think that we were meant to be here.
18:24I want to show you one of my secret skills.
18:36That's probably going to be very underwhelming.
18:39Oh, no.
18:41So I can't breakdance, but I can look like I'm about to breakdance.
18:45You ready?
18:45Yeah.
18:47Oh, wow.
18:49That was equally impressive.
18:51It's night four, and I don't have a lot of time left to date.
18:54I can see myself with Mal and Vanessa.
18:57I can see it in the way Mal looks at me.
18:59She, like, has no problem telling me how sure she is of me.
19:04I don't have anything to follow that up with.
19:06Come on.
19:07You've got to.
19:09When it comes to my dates with Vanessa, we have a really good banter.
19:13There's an attraction there.
19:15Well, I don't have the props for it, but I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue.
19:22Oh, my God.
19:24But Vanessa makes me uncomfortable.
19:27I want to get married.
19:28I came here to get married, and I just don't know if she's ready to get married or if she
19:32even wants that.
19:33She talks about kids and the motions, but not about the marriage part of it.
19:38There's just something about her that I can't seem to figure out.
19:41I am damn confused.
19:43I do not know who to pick.
19:44And for somebody that likes control and, like, answers, that's extremely unnerving.
19:51What do you think our relationship would look like in five years?
19:54We would be having fun.
19:56We wouldn't be buying a house yet.
19:57Like, maybe, like, I would to, like, invest.
19:59But, like, we wouldn't be doing, like, that shit.
20:01You're such an adult.
20:02It's disgusting.
20:03We would be somewhere doing something crazy.
20:05I'd be working from wherever.
20:07Can you work from anywhere?
20:09Yeah.
20:09Anywhere.
20:11I don't know where that would be.
20:12I kind of like that with you.
20:13Obviously, I am attracted to you.
20:15I feel like I'm growing to trust you.
20:18I don't know.
20:19Yeah, I'm going to drink about it.
20:20But I could imagine, like, growing closer to you.
20:25And that's obviously very scary for me, being aware of that while, like, having an ex here.
20:31That you want to marry?
20:33That I came here with the intention of marrying, which is a mindfuck.
20:39Woo!
20:40I don't want to leave here wishing I did anything differently.
20:42And obviously, there's a part of that where, like, this is a two-person decision.
20:46At the end of our date here, how do you feel about marrying me?
20:50Like, do I feel about marrying you?
20:52Yeah.
20:53I think it would be fun.
20:55What do you think marrying me would be like?
20:58It's hard for me to imagine marrying anyone.
21:01I think that today I'm realizing, like, I don't want to grow closer to someone else.
21:07Like, I don't feel like I'm at that point at all.
21:09Like, I'm so not ready for that.
21:11You have so much stability in your life.
21:13I feel like I've never had.
21:15I don't have any desire to have.
21:16Do you think you want to be with somebody who has stability?
21:20Um, like, I'm up for a trial marriage, and I want to see what it's like to live with someone who I've never lived with before.
21:27Like, I'm excited about that.
21:30But I think for me, I can't go into it thinking, I'm going to go get fucking married.
21:37Yeah, right.
21:37And my ex, she was the closest to marriage, I feel like I could get.
21:42But I just feel like when I get bored, I'm like, okay, I'm bored.
21:48Do you feel like there was, like, an actual chance that Xander could find someone else?
21:52Uh, no.
21:55I'm beautiful.
21:58Right?
21:59You said it, not me.
22:01Xander has been saying she might be asexual and that I'm the only one that she could have feelings for.
22:06She would be asexual if not for me.
22:08What exactly did you think you were going to get out of this process if there was no chance for Xander to be with other people?
22:18And, like, you're sitting over here and I don't want to get married.
22:22What the fuck did you come here for?
22:24I think I don't understand.
22:26Why is that upsetting you?
22:27The experience was 10 people coming here, opened, and ready to accept not just the possibility of a marriage proposal and what that commitment might mean,
22:39but also, too, the possibility of meeting other people here who you could find something with.
22:46You were legitimately the person I was, like, strongly considering.
22:50But, like, that growth that I thought I was going to be able to have in three weeks with you doesn't seem humanly possible.
22:56Your brain, your heart, your mind seem very shut off to this process.
23:02Why is that?
23:03You're not risking anything.
23:07I don't know, Lex.
23:08You didn't think she could be attracted to anyone else.
23:11I just can't see how it's genuine.
23:13There's a part of me that's almost like somebody should tell you where the door is.
23:17This isn't for you.
23:20Trust, completely broken.
23:22Faith, misplaced as hell.
23:24I thought I was attracted to her.
23:25I thought that there was something there.
23:26I wanted to explore that and risk it.
23:28But, like, it's a lie world.
23:30Vanessa's a fake person.
23:31I don't know what else to tell you.
23:32I'm like, she's fake?
23:34I don't even want to say her name anymore.
23:36She's, like, Voldemort to me.
23:37If you do get rejected by me, and please know that if it is, it's...
23:42So you can go live with my ex?
23:43This was a terrible end to a date, like, objectively.
23:52Yeah, I'm just so confused how it got that way.
23:55I think we pack it up.
23:56Yeah.
23:57I will never have to look that girl in the face, but somebody else will have to for the next three weeks.
24:01Likely, my ex-girlfriend.
24:03And I'm angry about that.
24:04I wish Rae would know that this girl is not here for the right stuff.
24:12I don't want to see her again.
24:13I'm a little bit dangerous.
24:16Here's to a laugh for you guys.
24:29Cheers.
24:29And happiness.
24:30New beginnings.
24:32Gabby, okay.
24:33Girl, I love these diamonds you got going on over here.
24:36Diamonds on my neck.
24:37Is it?
24:37That's some Beyonce shit right there.
24:40Oh, but you wouldn't fuck Beyonce.
24:43Oh, my God.
24:44Did you guys talk about that?
24:45Yes.
24:45So, I was saying, do you think Beyonce would be good in bed versus Rihanna?
24:51Do you think Beyonce would be good?
24:52Okay, okay, bitch.
24:53You put it on like that.
24:54You put it on like that.
24:56I'm like, Beyonce's not, I mean, I think she'd be great.
24:59She'd be like, one, two, three, four, five.
25:01Like, she knows what to do, but I don't think she would be, whereas Rihanna would just be like.
25:07Oh, fuck yeah.
25:08Hold on, let me mind fuck you.
25:10What would Cardi B be like?
25:12That's another one.
25:13That's not tequila, is it?
25:18Oh, can we do tequila?
25:19Yes.
25:20Oh, it's so rough.
25:22Smells like laxie to me.
25:25You should tell her.
25:27Tequila will never not remind me of laxie.
25:29You're my ex.
25:31I forgot.
25:31Yeah, I'm not holding your hand.
25:33I'm just going to order my drink.
25:35You can order yours.
25:36Excuse you.
25:39I'm joking.
25:40I'm joking.
25:41A couple of days ago, I was given the ultimatum, and now I feel like I'm ready to grasp it.
25:49This whole week of dating has helped me discover myself.
25:54I didn't even know that it was possible for me to feel this way, but, oh, I'm just, ah, emotional.
26:01I don't think gin and tonic is tonight.
26:08I think it's when we live together.
26:09I think this is...
26:10When you guys live together?
26:12When?
26:12You guys are expecting to live together?
26:14Yeah.
26:14I think it's when we live together is the gin and tonic title.
26:19Yeah, exactly.
26:20I don't.
26:21Okay.
26:22Hello.
26:22Hello.
26:23We can talk.
26:24It's okay.
26:25We can talk.
26:25We can talk.
26:25Yep.
26:32How are you feeling?
26:34Uh, I have feelings.
26:36I'm way too calm for this group.
26:37I do.
26:37I want to talk to you.
26:38I do, too.
26:39Let's go.
26:40Come on.
26:42Okay.
26:44Talk to me.
26:46Um, coming into this, I think we both talked very openly about, like, if you did have, like,
26:52like, an attraction to someone.
26:54So, like, you have that.
26:56I do have that.
26:57I think I have a physical attraction to Vanessa.
27:00Right.
27:00Like, three weeks would be fun.
27:02I'm a little stressed, um, about that.
27:05Mm-hmm.
27:06I think Vanessa is, like, a song and dance in this experience.
27:11I'm also strongly concerned about, like, motives for being here.
27:16I think I've been stressed because, like, my gut's been saying, like, something's going
27:21to, like, blow our shit up.
27:23And this, like, feels like it.
27:26Um, if I can say that at this point I've gained anything from this process, it's that I know
27:32so definitively the things that I deserve in this, like, very surely.
27:39And I'm not going to hold anything against you, like, in the past from our relationship,
27:43but I know what I need by the end of this, like, thoroughly.
27:47I know what I need.
27:48Um, and listening to people who value the love I bring and the maturity I bring and
27:55the, like, goodness I bring, you know, like, those are things that I need to, like, I needed
28:02to remind myself of in this process that, like, I am good.
28:06I do bring a lot to the table.
28:08I help people realize why marriage is something they can be ready for, whether it's with me
28:13or with someone else.
28:14But your time here seems to have encompassed, like, a good bit of, like, do I want to just
28:22fuck around with someone and that could be fun?
28:25I get it.
28:25Vanessa is attractive.
28:27She's fun.
28:27She's, like, all of the fun parts of me, but she's not me.
28:31And I feel like, should I have brought right here?
28:34And that fucking sucks.
28:37I know.
28:38And you gave me one week to figure it out.
28:40Like, you're, like, giving me a second ultimatum here.
28:42I'm not asking you that.
28:43I'm asking you if you feel like you're doing any work towards that.
28:46I think I'm having really interesting conversations, like, literally with the same people you are.
28:50I just am thinking, like, do I deserve you?
28:53And sometimes I feel like I don't because you're, like, this, like, imagine, like, a glass this
28:58big.
28:58Yours is full.
28:59You have this capacity in you and you're this type of person.
29:01And, like, I'm this.
29:03And, like, I'm scared that I'll never feel like that.
29:08I'll never, like, feel what you need.
29:09Without feeling like you can definitively say that it's me, like, that part will always
29:15be empty.
29:15I didn't expect her to find so much validation.
29:20And maybe Lexi needs a different person.
29:23But I want Lexi to know that I love her.
29:25I have been envisioning a future with her for, like, three years now.
29:30And I'm trying to get there.
29:31I don't know if I will get there.
29:33And, like, I really wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for her.
29:36Because this is, like, super out of my comfort zone.
29:39And, like, this is hard.
29:42Wait, am I at the table with all the ones that were given the ultimatum?
29:46Oh, no.
29:46Yeah, you are.
29:47This is a setup.
29:48This is a setup.
29:49I'm out.
29:50Did the movie naturally just gravitate to this table?
29:52So, you guys are the receivers.
29:54We're the bottoms of the ultimatum.
29:56It's actually funny.
29:58But either way, it's very, like, submissive sounding.
30:01It is.
30:01It is.
30:02It is.
30:02I am not a bottom.
30:03Okay, so...
30:05Well, depending on the situation, I don't know.
30:07Okay.
30:08We can get into that more.
30:10We should have been on a day three.
30:12We should have been on a day three.
30:13Who have your dates been with?
30:15Tiff and Xander.
30:17Xander was very just...
30:19I was like, oh, I didn't think this would happen.
30:21But, like, okay.
30:22Hi.
30:23You can take my spot.
30:25What?
30:25And I'm going to go over there.
30:27Oh.
30:28Yeah.
30:28Please.
30:29Bye, Sam.
30:30Bye.
30:30I love her.
30:32Hi.
30:33Hi.
30:35So, I'll be very transparent with you.
30:37This experience...
30:39Fucking crazy, right?
30:42Nuts.
30:43This shit is crazy.
30:44Mm-hmm.
30:44Um, but...
30:46I have had really awesome dates.
30:48And...
30:49Do you want to tell me who?
30:51Yeah.
30:51I'm fine.
30:52If you're okay with that, I'm fine with that.
30:55Um, Lexi?
30:57I did feel a little bit of a way when I...
31:06I unfortunately saw you and Xander on a date and was like...
31:09I feel like Xander is, like, my direct insecurity of what your type is and what your type has been.
31:16Mm-hmm.
31:16With dating white women in the past.
31:19Yeah.
31:20And I'm like, you have my blessings, right?
31:22To...
31:23To explore whatever you want to explore.
31:26Mm-hmm.
31:27But, of course, my ego, like, my own self, my own ego, my own insecurities.
31:31And I'm like...
31:31It feels very, like, yep.
31:35Mm-hmm.
31:36Of course.
31:38And there's nothing...
31:39I'm not asking for reassurances.
31:40That's not what I'm asking for.
31:41There's nothing you can do about that.
31:43Let's join some people.
31:45Why?
31:45Because I want to.
31:51Who are you?
31:52Okay.
31:54Okay?
31:54Like, in between.
31:56Do you want me here?
31:57Because I feel like...
31:58Yeah, of course I want.
31:59Of course I want you here.
32:00Okay.
32:01I've been thinking a lot about just us and how we've been navigating our relationship for the past two years.
32:08Mm-hmm.
32:09And this experience is, like, really changing me.
32:12I'm in shock.
32:15There's so much that I need to learn.
32:17And there's people here that I can learn from.
32:21What?
32:21Come here.
32:22Come here.
32:27Um.
32:30I just, like...
32:32I realize so much, you know?
32:34Like, this experience has made me, like, realize we're not connected.
32:39And, like, how apart we actually are.
32:40Sometimes I'm in my room and I think of you, and I'm not wondering if you're thinking of me.
32:48Like, I've been going on all these dates, you know?
32:50And I don't feel nervous.
32:52I just feel hopeful.
32:53Oh, no, I know, I know, I know.
33:07I understand that Mildred is taking this very seriously and that she has a right to connect with whoever she wants.
33:14But, fuck.
33:16She's slipping out of my fingertips.
33:20And I'm not ready to lose her.
33:25I've been wanting nothing but to connect with you.
33:28It's really hard for me because I've been connecting with everyone.
33:32And that's why I'm crying, because I feel like it's scary.
33:36Let me ask you something.
33:38Do you feel like we're connecting now?
33:43I don't wanna love you.
33:46I don't wanna hold you.
33:48I don't wanna show you how.
33:51It's really hard for me to say, but the kisses, Tiff is trying to force connecting with me.
33:58But this happens all the time.
34:00We have sex and it's good.
34:02And then ignore all of our problems.
34:06I don't know what to do.
34:06I don't know what to feel.
34:08I'm not doing this anymore.
34:13Okay, one thing I just wanted to talk to you about.
34:15Oh, yeah.
34:15Um, so, I'm in a very interesting predicament.
34:18Um, it seems as though Ray's, like, interested in someone here.
34:24Yeah.
34:25Um, and it's not good.
34:26I feel sick to my stomach and I have been referring to her as an atomic bomb.
34:30No one knows this.
34:30I'm actually an Instagram influencer.
34:32I, like, get paid to do content.
34:34Are you serious?
34:36So, yeah, I'm, like, an Instagram poet, basically.
34:38Okay.
34:39I don't trust her.
34:40She is a fake person.
34:42I love voices.
34:43I don't know.
34:45I honestly, there's a big part of me that thinks that somebody feels like they have more leverage
34:49than they deserve in this situation.
34:52And I don't like that that person has that much power in their hands.
34:56I think Vanessa is, I'm just, like, why are you here and what's up?
35:00I agree.
35:01I realized I was not the biggest fan of Vanessa right when I met her.
35:05Day one, like, Vanessa starts, like, hitting on my ex in front of me.
35:10So, I was, like, all right, you're that girl.
35:13I don't fully trust her or her intentions.
35:16She just seems to be into herself and making everything about herself.
35:21It's as simple as that.
35:23If that's where her mindset is at.
35:25That scares me.
35:27She's, like, a narcissist.
35:29The Jason Sander, who felt a lot more, like, honest.
35:32It's, like, they were me for a loop, and I was, like, okay.
35:34Do you feel like you're more secure about why Xander's here?
35:37Obviously, they're a couple.
35:38So, sorry if I've...
35:41Yeah.
35:41Yeah.
35:42I really hope so.
35:44I would love a rundown.
35:46How are you doing?
35:47Who are you connecting with?
35:49I don't even know who you've been going on dates with.
35:51I think you're going to be, like, pretty surprised.
35:53Like, is Yoli?
35:54I don't know who you're going on dates with, like, Yoli.
35:56Oh, fuck.
35:57Um, really?
36:00Yeah.
36:01So, like, I think...
36:03Yeah, please, explain that.
36:06Yeah.
36:07So, like, I think that...
36:09I don't know.
36:10I mean, I'm definitely, like, getting confused.
36:12I think Yoli is a lot similar to you, to be honest.
36:15Like, I don't know that you guys are going to be friends in this experience,
36:19but, like, I think that you guys are pretty similar.
36:23Yeah.
36:24How are you?
36:24Are you okay?
36:25Yeah, she's just not very nice to me.
36:30Like a fucking idiot.
36:31Why?
36:32You should not.
36:35I don't want you to feel that way.
36:36I think I want to walk away.
36:38That's okay.
36:41I don't want you to do that.
36:46I really...
36:47I think we should...
36:48I don't want to talk to you if you went up with her.
37:02I don't know if that's fair for me.
37:10It's just the whole thing that you know that she has not been nice to me,
37:13and you're still...
37:14The only time I've witnessed it was at the last cocktail party,
37:16which is, like, so brief for me.
37:18Like, I don't...
37:20Yeah, but you noticed it.
37:24Yeah.
37:28Whatever.
37:29Baby.
37:30No.
37:30I hate that.
37:31I really wanted to see so much progress with Vanessa.
37:44And I don't feel like I'm receiving that.
37:47I feel like I'm still receiving what I would see as selfish with her seeing I shouldn't be with someone because of her or because of this.
38:01Like, it's not the fact that she's even thinking about, like, maybe you should be with this person because she wants to get married and because she wants to have kids and, like, she wants things that I want.
38:11It's not that.
38:11It's the fact that she's thinking about, like, I shouldn't be with that person because that's not someone that she gets along with.
38:18And I don't want that.
38:19Like, I want her to let me experience this experience for why I'm here.
38:25It's getting down to the way.
38:28Jump into the place.
38:31No time to waste a day.
38:34Xander came into this telling me I was the one.
38:38And I think tonight was the moment that I realized that I'm not the one for Xander.
38:42I am fucked.
38:44I cannot stop.
38:48It's so hard to think about.
38:53It's so pathetic.
38:59I just want to be alone.
39:01I'm having a really hard time tonight, and I'm not even drunk.
39:07Like, I wish I could be, like, I'm just a drunk mess, but I'm not.
39:10I'm just a fucking mess.
39:14I was given an ultimatum a week ago, and as of tonight, I'm...
39:23I'm sure it's a no.
39:24I'm getting down to the way.
39:28I'm jumping through the flames.
39:32No time to hurt a day.
39:35Yes, I always love the chase.
39:38You're an hour like a hurricane.
39:40Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:55The start of something new is on the rise.
39:59Everything's at stake when it comes to the choice.
40:02I gave Ray an ultimatum because I want a life partner, and I want someone to commit to.
40:06So part of what I'm looking for in a trial life is somebody that's going to commit to me, not just for this three weeks, but as if it was the first day of the rest of our lives.
40:16This is our world, this is our time.
40:21I'm ready to discover.
40:23I'm ready to get answers.
40:24Yes, I'm missing my ex, but I gave Tiff the ultimatum because I don't want to wait anymore.
40:31No matter what outcome, we're both going to be able to gain the clarity that we've been searching for.
40:37We have a ride.
40:42We have a ride.
40:47It is a lesbian urban legend that you move in with a new person right away.
40:54But even in my most, like, U-Haulist moments, I have not moved in with somebody after only a week of being single, ever at all.
41:01But this experience is a wake-up call.
41:04There's a bunch of other people out in the world who want what I want.
41:09So even though I gave Mal an ultimatum, now I'm just like, but what if, but what if, and it's just overwhelming.
41:15I have never told Yoli that I didn't want to marry her.
41:20I just told her not right now.
41:22Walking into the choice, I can definitely see Yoli falling for somebody and fully leaning in.
41:28But I don't think Yoli understands the severity of the ultimatum she has placed on me, how that might backfire on her.
41:35Because I know who I want to choose to be my trial wife.
41:38I'm not thinking about anybody else.
41:42Unfortunately, not next to me.
41:43I know.
41:44I have no doubt at all.
41:51Going into the choice, Xander is connecting with someone else here on, you know, more than a friendship level.
41:57And it breaks my heart to think about that.
42:02But I'm not ready to say that I would marry her just to not lose her.
42:07Knowing that tonight I'm going to be choosing someone to be my trial marriage partner.
42:13I miss those butterflies and, like, that new relationship excitement.
42:17Someone here could be a good fit for me.
42:19And that's something that I should pursue.
42:21We are the right.
42:23Hello, everyone.
42:38Hello.
42:39Hello.
42:40From what I hear, it has been an incredibly emotional and intense week.
42:45Absolutely.
42:46Yes.
42:47I can see it on all your faces.
42:48Yeah.
42:49In the best way.
42:51The idea of marriage was actually something I never actually deeply really thought of,
42:57to be honest.
42:58It's crazy.
42:59Because it was never a possibility for me because it wasn't legal.
43:02It wasn't a thing.
43:03Yeah.
43:04And then I also learned what a power bottom was.
43:06I don't know if you know what a power bottom is.
43:07I know what a power bottom is.
43:08You do?
43:09Of course.
43:10What is a power bottom?
43:12Vildred, you're a power bottom.
43:13I'm just letting you know.
43:14What?
43:15You're at the bottom, but you're calling the shots still.
43:17You're still, like, you know, giving it.
43:18Rip that shit.
43:19Yeah.
43:20Okay.
43:24All right.
43:26Okay.
43:27You arrived here as five couples.
43:30One of you was ready to get married, and the other was not.
43:34You're here to answer one simple question.
43:37Did you come here with the person that you're going to spend the rest of your life with?
43:41Or will you find someone else who's a better fit?
43:47You're about to pick your new partner.
43:51If you choose someone who also chooses you, you will move in together as a new couple in a trial marriage.
43:58So I just want to say before we begin, pick someone who challenges you.
44:06And don't make the safe choice.
44:09So, Xander, tell us a little bit about the people that you've spent time with this week.
44:15I feel like I initially was attracted to Ray because I've dated someone like Ray, and, you know, she was fun, and...
44:24Who was that?
44:25What?
44:29Who is this?
44:30It's a Bumble person.
44:32Never knew about this.
44:33We've been together for four years.
44:34Never heard about this human.
44:35Learning this.
44:36About what?
44:37I've never heard about this ex.
44:39It wasn't an ex, really.
44:41Very interesting.
44:42It was more like a...
44:43Very interesting.
44:44...in-between stage.
44:48I feel like I knew most of Xander's ex-love life, and this...
44:53I will clarify that it was an in-between stage of a Bumble tender person.
44:58Is this like tractor girl?
44:59At all.
45:00Okay.
45:01No.
45:02We're going to go back to you, Xander.
45:03Okay, great, great.
45:04Can we ask you about Yoli?
45:13Yoli, I appreciate your openness with me.
45:18I think that you have a very positive outlook on a lot of things.
45:22I believe that you're going to make a good wife because I think that you know what you want,
45:27and I think you're not someone that is, like, selfish by any means.
45:30Like, you're going to think about others, and it's a great aspect to have.
45:34Um...
45:39There's no right answer here.
45:40Yeah, okay, cool.
45:44Xander, are you ready to make your choice?
45:46I am.
45:55My heart is pounding.
45:56I choose Yoli because I think that you and I have the deepest conversations.
46:05I think that we can teach each other a lot, and I think that we can figure some things out together.
46:12It would be great.
46:16You're...
46:17That was deep.
46:19Xander, you have a huge heart, and you're so kind and so willing to give.
46:26And I've shared with you that I get very protective of people with big hearts.
46:30Um...
46:31Just because I can see people in the world, like, taking advantage of it or seeing as a weakness, even.
46:37And I get very protective of stuff like that.
46:39Appreciate that.
46:40I love that.
46:41Yoli, are you ready to make your choice?
46:46Yes, I am.
46:48Um, I choose Xander.
46:55Through our conversations, I've been really surprised to learn how much, like, similarities and common goals we have as far as, like, marriage and family and what married life would look like.
47:09So, I'd be really excited to explore that with you.
47:16Okay, Ray, we're headed your way.
47:18Whoa!
47:20Um, I think Vanessa and I had a very, like, physical interest in each other.
47:26But she has this, like, very free spirit nature to her that, like, I don't really understand because I'm, like, a stability kind of woman.
47:35In looking towards the future, I think she'd be a good wife.
47:39I love.
47:41We had a great time, and I feel like you calmed me down a lot, and you've paid attention to me enough.
47:45I really appreciate that, and I think you're wonderful.
47:49And, Mal, my gosh, you've been in my top with you this whole time.
47:54I'm really sad we have not had more time together.
47:56Um, you are enigmatic.
48:00I believe that's a word.
48:02Oh, I love that word.
48:03Yeah, okay, good.
48:04So, it is a word.
48:05You can confirm.
48:06Yeah, that's definitely you.
48:07Um, you, we had just had a connection from the instant we met, and I think you're a wonderful human.
48:14I only had one interaction with you.
48:17I know.
48:18Right?
48:19I made a very quick decision, um, just for reasons that I value that are just different, you know?
48:25Sure.
48:26I haven't always known what a hell yes is, but I have known things that are a no for me, and I think those things scare me, and I think sometimes I lean into those things.
48:36In the next life?
48:37Yeah.
48:38Um, Lexi, you were probably born to be someone's wife.
48:43You're in a way a trophy wife, but also, like, the person, the breadwinner as well.
48:49I don't know how that really happens, but you are.
48:53We, we notice immediately that we are pretty much equals in terms of our personalities.
48:58But you are, you're marriage driven.
49:01Like, you're so young, and you're so driven.
49:03It bewilders me because this is not who I am at all.
49:06Like, I'm six years older than you, and I have none of the motivation that you do.
49:10And I look forward to whatever your experience is, and we'll, we'll chat about it.
49:16Mm-hmm.
49:17So, we came into this process, right, and you made me uncomfortable.
49:23You know, you're the loudest person in the room.
49:25I'm sometimes the loudest person in the room.
49:28And we bounced off of that.
49:30And then things really changed for me.
49:33Part of me feels that the second you found out that Xander was really leaning into this process, that that just soiled your experience.
49:43I felt it on our date.
49:45I felt the general shift.
49:47And my concern for myself is that you going into this next process of this experience, you only at a maximum saw it as a three-week, 21-day thing.
49:58And you're not going to be able to give anything to anyone in this process.
50:02And beyond that, to be completely candid with you, I felt gaslit.
50:07And because you went on a date with my ex-girlfriend, regardless of the fact that we're calling each other exes in this moment,
50:13my fear is that you have a power in your hands to blow up a portion of my life because you don't have anything to lose at this moment because I thoroughly feel the world just saw you for who you are.
50:27I have concerns for my ex in this process.
50:30I don't think you're here for the right reasons.
50:32What reasons do you think I'm here for?
50:34I think genuinely that you came into this process thinking that there was about a 0.001% chance that Xander would have any sort of connections with other people.
50:44Because a part of it is supposed to be the potential that we romantically connect with someone else.
50:49And I want to add to that, Lexi, you've been telling Xander to fuck off all night and it's hurting all of us, but you.
50:59It is.
51:00And that should just say so much.
51:01It's hurting who?
51:02Everyone. Everyone's sitting at this table, except for you.
51:05I don't really want everyone to antagonize Vanessa because she's.
51:16We understand because that's the person that you've been with for four years.
51:19It doesn't matter if that's the person I've been with for four years or for 10 years, but she's someone that no one else understands except for me.
51:28And like, that's why I love her.
51:30And I don't need you guys to understand that.
51:34I wish that I could divide this whole situation, but like, I cannot feel like you guys are protecting me.
51:40We do care about you, but at the same time, we are looking out for everyone sitting in this experience.
51:45Yeah.
51:46Because we're all in this together.
51:47It's not just about Vanessa and Xander.
51:50It's about the rest of the people sitting here.
51:53And I think Lexi is also protecting her ex.
51:55How do you, how do you know that her and Ray would not be able to figure out something together that could make our partners want to be with us?
52:06Like, we're the ones that gave the ultimatum.
52:08And like, I'm not trying to like.
52:09No, that's fair.
52:10I'll interject on that.
52:11So I don't know what you want out of this, which is fine.
52:14Like, you don't have to know what you want.
52:15Cause like, sometimes I don't know what I want.
52:17And like, I think one of the things we were talking about earlier was how there is someone who comes in here with an ultimatum.
52:24And now they're like, Oh, well, I have feelings for someone else.
52:26And you hearing that you're like, wait, you came in here with an ultimatum.
52:32You knew what you wanted.
52:34And now you don't.
52:35And now you expect me to know what I want.
52:38But you were the one that came in here with the ultimatum.
52:41I do trust you.
52:42I hope that you know that.
52:43I do trust you.
52:44I know you do.
52:45You're not the person I don't trust in this scenario.
52:47If it does get to the point where you do spend time with my ex, I hope that you get what you need to out of it.
52:53And I hope she gets what she needs to out of it because I think she is, she and I have a lot to learn in this process.
52:59Things that we both came here to do.
53:01Our last date really just laid it all out for me about who you are.
53:05I'm happy my gut speaks so loud.
53:07I'll remember to listen to that more.
53:09Because of that discomfort, I had to go on that last date with you.
53:12And I'm so freaking thankful I did.
53:19They don't trust Vanessa.
53:20Ray knows that.
53:21It's not just a jealousy thing.
53:23They don't think she's here for the right reasons.
53:25I love the hell out of Ray.
53:26When I think about her sleeping in bed with someone who really is only here because she wants to be famous.
53:32My, like, gut check is to protect her.
53:34But I can't really say, Ray, don't choose Vanessa.
53:37And if they choose each other, it's fucking terrifying.
53:45So, I am ready to make my choice.
53:48No.
53:50No.
53:51No.
53:52No.
53:53No.
53:54No.
53:55No.
53:56No.
53:57No.
53:58No.
53:59No.
54:00No.
54:01No.
54:02No.
54:03No.
54:04No.
54:05No.
54:06No.
54:07No.
54:08No.
54:09No.
54:10No.
54:11No.
54:12No.
54:13No.
54:14No.
54:15No.
54:16I'm turning back
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