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Un jeune homme se fait passer pour un autre afin de séduire la fille de ses rêves.  ❤️ Plus de films romantiques ICI ➤ https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1gGbalXSLnOw0efNTL2L2asTp8mA_hAQ 💛 Snapchat ➤ https://www.snapchat.com/p/1684933092515270  Original Title : Finding Ms Right  Genre : Film romantique en Français, Nouveauté, Romance, Comédie Romantique, Emotion  ©  2025 - Tous Droits Réservés #FilmRomantique #FilmComplet

Transcript

00:45:00Est-ce que je vous disais beaucoup de nous?

00:45:02Un petit...

00:45:03Un club ?

00:45:0418 ans, un gars appelé Adam Lipschitz

00:45:07a un coup de panique qui a pris en sa bar mitzvah,

00:45:09qui a pris en gezollet et il se expose à la congregation.

00:45:14C'est un truc.

00:45:15Oh, c'est un truc, Bobby.

00:45:17Et encore plus c'est que maintenant,

00:45:19l'acte de l'acte du public a été le rite de passage

00:45:21pour tous les enfants qui a eu des bar mitzvah au temple.

00:45:24En fait, il n'y a pas de bar mitzvah depuis 1993

00:45:28qui n'a pas montré à toute la congregation.

00:45:31J'ai essayé tout. Ils n'ont pas arrêté.

00:45:34J'ai vu des peines de 459 jeunes enfants.

00:45:38Donc, si vous êtes vraiment dans le chlam, Avi,

00:45:40ce n'est pas le temple pour vous.

00:45:43Il se fait exciter.

00:45:45Avi, Shlomi et moi sont tellement embarrés

00:45:48qu'on votre premier Saturday morning service avec nous,

00:45:51vous avez dû voir genitals.

00:45:54Et nous espérons que le fait que notre temple

00:45:57a club ne vous en a pas.

00:45:59Ne vous en a pas.

00:46:01Pas à tout.

00:46:02Qu'est-ce que le nom de la jeune homme qui a créé l'Oil?

00:46:05Lipschips?

00:46:06Lipschips.

00:46:07Je ne sais pas, hein?

00:46:08Oui, nous avons vu.

00:46:09Je suis assez.

00:46:10Ceux-ci, Rabbi, vous voulez un peu de fiche?

00:46:14Oui, merci, Hyman.

00:46:21Merci.

00:46:22Oi!

00:46:24Wow.

00:46:25J'ai dit qu'on a inventé beaucoup de nourriture,

00:46:28mais c'est peut-être le pire.

00:46:30C'est le pire.

00:46:34J'ai dit qu'on a le plus vite possible.

00:46:36J'ai dit qu'on a le plus vite.

00:46:37J'ai dit qu'on a le plus vite.

00:46:38J'ai dit qu'on a le plus vite.

00:46:39J'ai dit qu'on a le plus vite.

00:46:40Oh...

00:46:41J'ai dit qu'on a le plus vite.

00:46:46Chlomé, c'est bon ?

00:46:50Go away !

00:46:51Dammit, Chlomo, je suis venu en là !

00:46:53Non, tu ne veux pas voir ça !

00:46:54Il changeait vous !

00:46:55Il changeait moi !

00:46:56Je suis un relative !

00:46:58Oh, Marcie, je t'aime faire ça pour vous, Cupcake,

00:47:01mais je pense que je vais devoir faire de la tournée.

00:47:03Non, non, non, non, Chlomo !

00:47:05Vous ne faites pas ce genre de chose !

00:47:07Ce sont les Finals !

00:47:08Si nous devons prendre une sorte de slob-bucket,

00:47:10alors bien !

00:47:11Je suis désolé, Lollipop !

00:47:12Mais, nous devons juste attendre une autre année

00:47:14pour battre ces fleissons !

00:47:16Darn it !

00:47:18What tournament ?

00:47:19What tournament ?

00:47:21It's the NBLA Regionals !

00:47:23We are in the Finals !

00:47:24It starts in three hours !

00:47:25Oh !

00:47:26But, well,

00:47:27I guess that I won't be going this year !

00:47:30I play bridge !

00:47:32He and God !

00:47:34All I do is help you !

00:47:36I want to thank all of you

00:47:38for taking part in what is

00:47:40the world's

00:47:42greatest

00:47:44sporting event

00:47:46Duplicate Bridge !

00:47:47Duplicate Bridge !

00:47:49I die pour chandain !

00:47:51...

00:47:53Do you feel the time ?

00:47:55You know your time has come !

00:47:56All I know

00:47:58It's time to feel the light !

00:48:01So here is destiny

00:48:04To claim your being

00:48:05Give me a four of diamonds !

00:48:06Four of diamonds !

00:48:07Give me an eight of clubs !

00:48:08The eight of clubs !

00:48:09Le 8 de clubs

00:48:10Give me an ace of spades

00:48:11Ace of spades

00:48:13And what does that spell?

00:48:14On a...

00:48:15Bridge!

00:48:15Toe-ch***-ass!

00:48:16We are here!

00:48:18I'll die a lot of the way

00:48:19Yeah!

00:48:26Suck on up and hit the ground

00:48:28Jack Trump

00:48:28In your face!

00:48:30Come on, come on, be strong

00:48:32We have a two-way tie

00:48:36That means sudden death

00:48:39Oh, yeah!

00:48:40Oh, yeah!

00:48:41Oh, yeah!

00:48:42You've all been briefed on the rules

00:48:43Three boards

00:48:45Two out of three wins

00:48:47Let's keep it clean

00:48:49Begin!

00:49:03Yes!

00:49:04Rosenberg Martin's big one, nothing

00:49:06They're freaking me out a little bit

00:49:10You just pay no attention

00:49:12I've been playing with them for years

00:49:13It's disturbing

00:49:14You can do this, right?

00:49:25Trust me

00:49:25It's over

00:49:27Trump!

00:49:29Oh!

00:49:29What?

00:49:30Trump, baby!

00:49:31It's called Trump!

00:49:32It's called Trump!

00:49:33You did it!

00:49:40Oh, my God!

00:49:40Hey!

00:49:41There's the big winners over here!

00:49:43Oh, my God!

00:49:43We beat the flashmans!

00:49:45I beat the flashmans!

00:49:46We beat the flashmans!

00:49:47We beat the flashmans!

00:49:48You!

00:49:49Oh, my God!

00:49:49We did it!

00:49:50We did it!

00:49:51We did it!

00:49:52Oh, you are amazing!

00:49:53We did it!

00:49:54We did it!

00:49:55Yeah!

00:49:56What's going on?

00:49:57Oh, honey!

00:49:57Honey, did you see us?

00:49:59Ah !

00:50:01Ah !

00:50:03Avison !

00:50:04Avi !

00:50:05What are you doing here ?

00:50:06What, you two know each other ?

00:50:07Yeah, well, yeah, this is the girl I told you about.

00:50:10We went on a date, she never called me back.

00:50:12How do you two know each other ?

00:50:13That's my daughter !

00:50:15What ? Your daughter ?

00:50:16Uh, Mom, could I talk to you, just for a second ?

00:50:21Um, I, I met that guy at your last mixer, we went on a date,

00:50:25and he ended up being one of the strangest guys I've ever met.

00:50:28Can you possibly say that ? I think he is wonderful.

00:50:31He asked our waiter if he could chew him down on the check,

00:50:34and then he said that I had a cute little jupeak.

00:50:37Oh, oh, I'm sure that he was just joking.

00:50:40He's very funny.

00:50:41Really ?

00:50:42Okay, well, then we went to a jazz club,

00:50:44and he stood up in front of everyone,

00:50:46and said that Smokey Joe Jefferson was a schwarzer.

00:50:48Well, he is one, isn't he ?

00:50:50He is a psycho.

00:50:51I mean, isn't it obvious that he's, like, stalking me ?

00:50:53Oh, please, now, come on.

00:50:55I mean, the man is a doctor.

00:50:57It's not like he has time to stalk.

00:50:59No, obviously, this is some sort of crazy coincidence,

00:51:02that, you know, it's...

00:51:04Now, wait a minute.

00:51:06Actually, I, I don't...

00:51:09I don't think that this is a coincidence at all.

00:51:12No, I think that this just might be fate,

00:51:16trying to get you two together.

00:51:18Wow.

00:51:20I have never heard you like this.

00:51:22All right, Alison, darling, listen to me.

00:51:24And you are 27 years old.

00:51:26And have I ever tried to set you up with anyone?

00:51:29No. And why is that ?

00:51:31Because I have never felt that anyone was good enough for you.

00:51:34Until now.

00:51:36What are you doing ?

00:51:47What ?

00:51:48I told you to let me get to the altar,

00:51:50look at me for 15 seconds,

00:51:52let the tension build,

00:51:53and then slowly pull my veil back.

00:51:55And where is the rabbi ?

00:51:56Can somebody get him off the shitter ?

00:51:58Okay, fine, whatever, let's just keep going.

00:52:00No, we can't keep going.

00:52:01We have to keep doing it till we get it right.

00:52:03Adam, your timing was way off.

00:52:04I clocked you pulling back the veil after four seconds.

00:52:06Yeah.

00:52:07That's the least of our problems.

00:52:08You didn't even have tears in your eyes

00:52:10when you lifted up the veil.

00:52:11It's a rehearsal.

00:52:12Who cares if it's a rehearsal?

00:52:13Don't you love my daughter so much

00:52:14that you tear up every time you see her?

00:52:16I can't believe you're being so insensitive.

00:52:17Don't you know that she is still recovering from her surgery?

00:52:21Oh, by the way, Hannah has your new vatch.

00:52:24Jill, stop talking about Hannah's vagina.

00:52:26Less ugly?

00:52:27Dennis!

00:52:28What?

00:52:29Pookie-poo, the Daniels are right.

00:52:31You really need to take this a little bit more seriously

00:52:33because we only have three more rehearsals left till the wedding.

00:52:36Megan, sweetie, your pedal throngs got a little bit sloppy and unfocused.

00:52:40Remember, it's three pedals per step.

00:52:43Screw it up again and you're both out.

00:52:45Okay, so let's take it from the poems.

00:52:49What? The poems?

00:52:51Yes.

00:52:52Oh, honey, you want to do that now?

00:52:53I thought that was going to be a surprise for the wedding day.

00:52:56It's going to be a surprise for the guests,

00:52:57but I need to see how you perform it so I can give you notes.

00:53:01Okay.

00:53:04Hannah.

00:53:05Yes?

00:53:06The day I met you, it was like a dream.

00:53:08Even more thrilling than my father's new embroidery machine.

00:53:11Fine.

00:53:12Fine.

00:53:13My feelings towards you are so extreme that sometimes when I'm with you, I just...

00:53:17I just want to...

00:53:20scream.

00:53:21What grade is he in?

00:53:22The thought of being without you words can't explain.

00:53:26If you only knew what was going on inside my brain...

00:53:32Brain. Brain.

00:53:33Brain.

00:53:34I can't believe I'm about to spend the rest of my years with you.

00:53:38Dan.

00:53:40And in just a few minutes...

00:53:43I'm going to say the words...

00:53:46I...

00:53:48I...

00:53:50I...

00:53:53I'm gonna say the words...

00:53:55I...

00:53:57What are you doing?

00:53:58I'm not ready to be a man.

00:54:01What?

00:54:02Again?

00:54:03I'm not ready to be a man.

00:54:04Oh, God.

00:54:05Finally, he says something true.

00:54:06What?

00:54:07I'm not ready to be a man.

00:54:09I'm not ready to be a man.

00:54:12I'm not ready to be a man.

00:54:14Adam!

00:54:15Adam!

00:54:16This is why I wanted to rehearse.

00:54:18What the fuck?

00:54:19You're kidding, right?

00:54:20No, no.

00:54:21Because, um...

00:54:23Sex, you know, has a way of complicating things,

00:54:25and I...

00:54:26I want to get to know you.

00:54:27I want to get to know the real you.

00:54:29I can't believe you're saying this.

00:54:30I've never met a guy who wanted to wait.

00:54:33So, um...

00:54:34I saw your commercial.

00:54:35So I went to the palace,

00:54:36and we've been hanging out ever since.

00:54:38He never said a word to us about this.

00:54:39God forbid he should tell us anything.

00:54:41Have you heard from him at all in the last week?

00:54:43No, no.

00:54:44I've been calling him, too.

00:54:45He hasn't returned any of my calls.

00:54:47What if he was murdered by the homeless meth heads?

00:54:49What if he was blown by a vampire?

00:54:51Did he say anything about Hannah, about the wedding?

00:54:53No, nothing.

00:54:54Daddy!

00:54:55You know what?

00:54:56He probably just got cold feet.

00:54:58I disappeared for six months before my wedding.

00:55:00Right, honey?

00:55:01Uh, that was me.

00:55:02Oh, that's right.

00:55:03How are you a doctor?

00:55:05Oh, God!

00:55:06He's gone forever, and I'm never gonna have a baby!

00:55:11Oh, God!

00:55:14I'm never gonna have a grandchild!

00:55:17Oh, God!

00:55:19No!

00:55:21Goddamn it, do something, Bruce!

00:55:23Oh, no!

00:55:24Oh, no!

00:55:25Oh, no!

00:55:26No!

00:55:27No!

00:55:28No!

00:55:29Oh, no!

00:55:30No!

00:55:31Hello!

00:55:32Oh, no!

00:55:33Oh!

00:55:34Oh!

00:57:05Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada

00:57:35Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada

00:58:05...and give it a drop.

00:58:08Okay, all right.

00:58:09And there it goes.

00:58:10It's a little tea time.

00:58:12Why is it the only fat people make it into the showdown?

00:58:17Fine.

00:58:19You know, you want to sit there like a vegetable all day,

00:58:21pretend like you don't hear me,

00:58:22then go right ahead.

00:58:25But my job is to make you well again

00:58:28by having you face the traumatic events

00:58:30that have forced you into this state.

00:58:31So unless you're willing to turn off the TV and do that,

00:58:35then I would save the $2,500 a day you're spending here

00:58:37and go check yourself into a hotel.

00:58:42All right, suit yourself.

00:58:44You stare all you like, little man.

00:58:51What did you just say?

00:58:52So anyway, the moil slips, a piece falls off,

00:58:59hits me in the punim.

00:59:00I've been cockeyed ever since.

00:59:05So, Ami, Allison tells me you're from Skokie.

00:59:07Yeah, yeah.

00:59:08You know, Al and I grew up in Glenview.

00:59:12Sorry, excuse me.

00:59:13Oh, really?

00:59:14Yeah, we were practically neighbors.

00:59:16Your family's still there?

00:59:18Nope.

00:59:19Where'd they move to?

00:59:20They moved.

00:59:21To heaven.

00:59:23Oh, I'm so sorry.

00:59:26When did they pass?

00:59:28They, um, they passed a few years back.

00:59:31I can't believe you never told me that.

00:59:33Well, it's hard to talk about.

00:59:35It's very raw.

00:59:36Why?

00:59:37What happened?

00:59:37A hunting accident.

00:59:38Oi.

00:59:39A hunting accident?

00:59:40Uh, they got shot by hunters.

00:59:42What were your parents doing wandering around

00:59:44where people were hunting?

00:59:45They weren't.

00:59:46They were, um, the hunters were hunting in our backyard.

00:59:49What were the hunters doing in your backyard?

00:59:51They had gotten lost and, uh, were off track.

00:59:54And, uh, my parents were wearing their brown onesies

00:59:57and the, um, the hunters mistook them for elk.

01:00:02Elk?

01:00:02What happened to the hunters?

01:00:03Were they arrested?

01:00:04No.

01:00:05They are still at large.

01:00:06You know what, Avi?

01:00:07The police chief in Skokie's an old friend of mine.

01:00:10I'm calling him tomorrow.

01:00:11We'll see if we can't help move things along.

01:00:14Huh.

01:00:15Uh, forgive me, but weren't you on the phone with your...

01:00:17Can we talk about something else?

01:00:19Of course.

01:00:20I was watching TV last night.

01:00:21Um, Ten Commandments.

01:00:23Charlton Heston.

01:00:24What an actor.

01:00:25Not Jewish, you know.

01:00:27Who isn't?

01:00:29So I'm...

01:00:30I'm up there, and we're rehearsing these...

01:00:33these poems that we had written for each other.

01:00:36And, and...

01:00:38Right at the part where I'm about to say I do...

01:00:42I just...

01:00:43I just cracked.

01:00:44Good, Adam.

01:00:46Do you remember how you were feeling in that very moment?

01:00:49No.

01:00:50I mean, I...

01:00:51I just...

01:00:52For a split second, I...

01:00:54I saw my entire life with Hannah flash before my eyes.

01:00:58And why did that scare you?

01:01:00Probably because...

01:01:02I...

01:01:03I don't think she's right for me.

01:01:06So then why are you marrying her?

01:01:08I don't know.

01:01:09You're avoiding the question, Adam.

01:01:11I think you do know.

01:01:14Now, what I want you to do is try to pinpoint the exact moment in your life...

01:01:18where this pressure you're feeling originated.

01:01:20I was 12 years old.

01:01:29Stop staring at her, Adam.

01:01:30That is rude.

01:01:33You're cute.

01:01:34You stare all you like, little man.

01:01:36You are not, and you will never be, her little man.

01:01:41Why can't I be her little man?

01:01:42Because she's not Jewish.

01:01:43So I can't be with a girl who's not Jewish?

01:01:45That's right.

01:01:46Why?

01:01:46Because it's your responsibility to perpetuate our religion.

01:01:49Why?

01:01:49Because six million of our ancestors died, and we owe it to them.

01:01:52Why?

01:01:52Because they're dead.

01:01:53So what does that have to do with me?

01:01:54Because you're Jewish.

01:01:55The fate of our entire religion depends on you.

01:01:58You.

01:01:59You.

01:02:00It depends on me.

01:02:02It depends on me.

01:02:03It's all right.

01:02:03It all depends on me.

01:02:05It's all right.

01:02:05Please turn off.

01:02:06It's all right, Adam.

01:02:07Rosh Hashanah.

01:02:08Oh, God.

01:02:09Oh, God.

01:02:10Oh, God.

01:02:10It's all right.

01:02:11Oh, God.

01:02:12Adam, that was really good.

01:02:15Really good.

01:02:18I'm here.

01:02:19Hey, boss.

01:02:29Can I get the crusty right?

01:02:33Yeah, here.

01:02:34Ay, gracias.

01:02:35You have soft hands.

01:02:37Uh, hey, boss.

01:02:38You remember that one time we went to...

01:02:39Shh.

01:02:40Don't say a word.

01:02:43Hey, beautiful.

01:02:44How you doing?

01:02:45Just working.

01:02:45What are you doing?

01:02:46Oh, nothing.

01:02:47You know, just here at the hospital, checking in on patients, patients, patients.

01:02:51What's up, baby?

01:02:52Well, I just spoke to my dad, and he talked to the chief of police in Skokie, and there's

01:02:56no record of any Rosenbergs being shot and killed by hunters.

01:03:00Really?

01:03:00Yeah, in fact, there hasn't been a hunting-related death in Skokie ever.

01:03:05So, I went online to research it, and I couldn't find anything.

01:03:08Allison, I didn't want to have to tell you this, but my parents were in the witness protection

01:03:15program, and when they were murdered, the FBI destroyed their records.

01:03:19Oye, boss.

01:03:20You're crazy.

01:03:21What were they doing in the witness protection program?

01:03:24Jimmy Hoffa?

01:03:24What about Jimmy Hoffa?

01:03:26Look, I've said too much already.

01:03:27Do you understand?

01:03:28Avi, I just feel like you're hiding things from me.

01:03:30I mean, we've been going out for a month, and you never tell me that your parents were

01:03:33murdered by elk hunters, and now they're in the witness protection program?

01:03:37And on top of all that, I'm just starting to wonder if you might be gay.

01:03:40What?

01:03:41Gay?

01:03:42Gay.

01:03:42Whoa.

01:03:43Why would you think I'm gay?

01:03:45Because what guy goes out with a girl for a whole month and doesn't want to sleep

01:03:48with her?

01:03:48I do.

01:03:49I want to sleep with you.

01:03:50I just want it to be special.

01:03:53Ew.

01:03:53That is exactly what my Aunt Judy's husband told her right before they got married.

01:03:57And 20 years and two kids later, she walks in on him, tied up, with a rubber ball gag

01:04:02in his mouth, being f***ed by a ch*** who was dressed as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz.

01:04:06Okay?

01:04:07And I am not going to turn out like my Aunt Judy.

01:04:11Okay, okay, okay.

01:04:12Listen, we will sleep together.

01:04:13I won't.

01:04:14Let's do this, baby.

01:04:15Really?

01:04:15Do you mean that?

01:04:16Oh, yeah.

01:04:17When?

01:04:18When are we going to have sex?

01:04:19Right after I get back from the medical conference in Dallas.

01:04:23What medical conference in Dallas?

01:04:25Remember I told you about that a couple of weeks ago.

01:04:28When are you leaving?

01:04:29Like in two hours.

01:04:32You know, when you inhale, maybe you and Ted Bundy can be roommates, cabron.

01:04:36You know, Ruth, I'm looking at a bill here for $42,765.

01:04:50And considering we said we'd split all the wedding expenses, we need to go half-seas.

01:04:55How's your son going crazy, a wedding expense?

01:04:58Well, it happened during a wedding rehearsal, so I think a case could be made in a court of law.

01:05:03This is a wedding expense.

01:05:04Nice try.

01:05:05Nice try.

01:05:05He's got a well-documented, pre-existing condition.

01:05:08There's no way in hell we're paying for it.

01:05:09His condition was never that bad until he met Hannah.

01:05:12Oh.

01:05:13Hey, are you implying that my daughter had something to do with Adam's freak-out?

01:05:17Oh, she's not implying.

01:05:18She's saying.

01:05:19I had nothing to do with this.

01:05:21Oh, right.

01:05:21You're not insane.

01:05:22Everyone, please.

01:05:24We have worked very hard to get Adam to the point he is at in his therapy.

01:05:27And he has had a very tough time.

01:05:30But these last few days, he has truly managed to come from behind.

01:05:36Oh, God!

01:05:37Oh, God!

01:05:38Oh, God!

01:05:39Oh, God!

01:05:40Mom!

01:05:41Dad!

01:05:41What are you doing?

01:05:45He never tried that with me!

01:05:47Hannah?

01:05:47What?

01:05:47Oh, man!

01:05:48What is everybody doing here at the same time?

01:05:52Oh, God.

01:05:54So, let me get this straight.

01:05:56You no longer want to get married to me because you're in love with your Mongolian doctor?

01:06:02I know this must be a shock for everyone.

01:06:05But when Adam finally opened up to me, I don't know.

01:06:08We just clicked.

01:06:09What do you mean you just clicked?

01:06:11Arlene, we are not going to get anywhere by attacking each other, Sala.

01:06:16Please continue.

01:06:18By the way, you're fired.

01:06:20Well, I'm a Buddhist.

01:06:23And, you know, both of our religions were born out of struggle.

01:06:26So, we both place emphasis on family, education, and hard work.

01:06:32And the intense pressure that Adam feels to marry within his people is the same pressure I feel to marry a Mongolian.

01:06:38So, it's no wonder why we're able to connect.

01:06:41For 43 grand, you could have connected with every chick in Mongolia!

01:06:46Okay, Sala, hypothetically speaking, if you two were to stay together and get married, how would you raise your children?

01:06:59Mom, do we have to get into this right now?

01:07:01What? Isn't that what this is for?

01:07:02Okay, well, the truth is...

01:07:03The truth is...

01:07:05The truth is...

01:07:06What's the truth, Adam?

01:07:07The truth is, I don't know if I want to raise my kids Jewish.

01:07:10Oh, shit.

01:07:14Jesus, who are you?

01:07:18Was I not a good mother to you?

01:07:22When you were in kindergarten and you wanted the little trampoline that could poke your eye out,

01:07:26who got you the trampoline that could poke your eye out?

01:07:29I did.

01:07:30And when you were in fifth grade and you wanted to take karate lessons in Chinatown,

01:07:35who drove you there three nights a week and sat in the parking lot?

01:07:38All alone, in the dark, I did.

01:07:43And do you know why?

01:07:46Because you're my son.

01:07:49And I love you.

01:07:53And how do you show your love for me?

01:07:56Well, you have style sex with your Mongolian therapist on your wedding day!

01:08:02And then you say to me,

01:08:04Hey, Mom, I'm not sure if I want to raise my kids Jewish!

01:08:10Oh, Adam, that's fine!

01:08:13That's fine!

01:08:13Just, just save the knife!

01:08:15Just save the knife and kill me, Adam!

01:08:17Just save it right now!

01:08:18Mom, stop it!

01:08:23Oh, okay, Adam.

01:08:25So you're saying that our entire time together meant nothing to you?

01:08:29We never hit you!

01:08:30We never fondled you!

01:08:31I got liberty!

01:08:32Can you for you?

01:08:34Honey, honey, I think we dodged a bullet.

01:08:37Yeah, she seems nice.

01:08:38I mean, you better get a good lawyer, freak boy, because I'm suing your ass off.

01:08:42Okay, this, this right here!

01:08:46You want to know why I went nuts?

01:08:49It's because all of you are nuts!

01:08:52And I'm sorry that I can't marry you.

01:08:54But it's better that we end this right now,

01:08:56rather than dragging this on for a long fucking time.

01:09:01And, Mom, I'm sorry that you had to do things that you didn't want to do.

01:09:05But you know what?

01:09:06So did I.

01:09:07I joined the family business and became the embroidery prince!

01:09:10Well, how happy can a man be?

01:09:13And to top it off, I've never dated a woman who wasn't Jewish my entire life!

01:09:17Well, you know what?

01:09:18I'm not doing things for you guys anymore, huh?

01:09:21I'm doing things for me.

01:09:22Because I love Sala.

01:09:24Sala.

01:09:25And she's Mongolian.

01:09:28And that's pretty cool.

01:09:31I love you, too.

01:09:33Oh, God.

01:09:35Are you going to be paying by cash or check?

01:09:37With this technique, the thematic skin is allowed to stay intact.

01:09:44And finally, the neocrossing crush.

01:09:47By using the terra clamp, the skin is crushed for around ten days

01:09:51until it suffocates and dies.

01:09:54With this technique, the skin bonds.

01:09:56Yeah.

01:09:57I mean, you've got to love the dorsal slip, right?

01:10:00Because the thematic skin stays intact.

01:10:01But on the other hand, with the sleeve resection,

01:10:03I've got the widest variety of scarring options.

01:10:06What do you think?

01:10:08Honestly, I'm kind of partial to the temporary crush.

01:10:10You know, you get all the benefits of the sleeve resection,

01:10:13but you get that pump action of the agamgo device there.

01:10:16Yeah, yeah.

01:10:16Plus, it reduces your shmegma by, like, 75%.

01:10:20It does?

01:10:20Yeah.

01:10:21Done.

01:10:21Sold.

01:10:23Going with the temporary crush, boy.

01:10:25Knock, knock.

01:10:26Snip, snip time, Mr. O'Connell.

01:10:29Oh.

01:10:31Here we go.

01:10:32Is this your life partner?

01:10:34Who?

01:10:34No.

01:10:35No, no, no, no, no.

01:10:35No life partnering here.

01:10:37No, that would be weird.

01:10:38Not that that's weird at all, but just, you know.

01:10:40Okay, Mr. O'Connell.

01:10:42So, me go on to turn this little knobby here on,

01:10:44and you're going to just slowly drift away.

01:10:47Me want you to breathe, relax, enjoy it.

01:10:53Breathe in, breathe in.

01:10:55I'm scared.

01:10:56Yeah, I have nothing to be afraid of, boy.

01:10:58Nurse Boo is going to sing you a little ditty

01:11:00and make you feel all better.

01:11:02Oh.

01:11:02When I was only eight days old, hurrah, hurrah,

01:11:06a billy, billy, billy bum.

01:11:08When I was only eight days old, hurrah, hurrah,

01:11:12a billy, billy, billy.

01:11:13The boy that came with his big knife,

01:11:15I thought he was going to take my life,

01:11:17but he only took a little bit off the top.

01:11:21A little bit off the top, top, top.

01:11:24A little bit off the top.

01:11:27Top.

01:11:28Well, okay, okay.

01:11:30Okay.

01:11:31She was taking a little off the top.

01:11:32Easy there, Mr. O'Connell.

01:11:35Next time,

01:11:36don't trust your circumcision to an HMO.

01:11:46I think she's nice.

01:11:48I just,

01:11:48I can't believe that you're doing all of this

01:11:51just so you don't have to make any more decisions.

01:11:53Oh, Adam,

01:11:54you don't get it.

01:11:56All those things that you say drive you crazy,

01:11:58I love.

01:11:58J'ai l'impression que les parents smotherent vous.

01:12:01J'ai l'impression que si ils entendent un tornado en Kansas,

01:12:05ils vous diront, même si vous vivrez en Los Angeles.

01:12:08Oui, nous sommes très nervés, les gens.

01:12:10Et j'ai l'impression que vous avez envoyé l'e-midi d'un itinerary

01:12:13parce que... parce que vous ne savez pas, vous savez.

01:12:17Non.

01:12:19Vous ne savez pas.

01:12:20Vous ne savez pas.

01:12:21Et pour les 5,000 ans,

01:12:23chaque civilisation, chaque culture a essayé de vous annihiler.

01:12:27Oui, nous n'ont pas liked.

01:12:28Je suis là, vous êtes en train de faire.

01:12:30C'est tout va bien.

01:12:32Mohamed Al-Sheikh Al-Sheen Al-Sheikh est ici.

01:12:36Il va venir ici.

01:12:38Et nous avons Mohamed Al-Sheikh.

01:12:40Mohamed Ali?

01:12:41Non.

01:12:42Stop that.

01:12:44McConnell, speak up.

01:12:46Hi, Daddy, c'est votre son Christian.

01:12:48Qu'est-ce que vous faites ?

01:12:49Je suis en Tahiti.

01:12:50Je me suis en Mai Tai.

01:12:51Qu'est-ce que vous pensez que je suis en train de faire ?

01:12:53Faiting terrorists ?

01:12:54Spreading democracy ?

01:12:56Dad, je sais ce que je suis en train de faire.

01:12:57Oh, je suis en train d'Adam Lipschitz.

01:12:58You remember him ?

01:12:59Adam Lipschitz ?

01:13:00Didn't I order you to stay away from that boy ?

01:13:03No, Daddy.

01:13:04We're life partners.

01:13:05Sir, that's inaccurate, sir.

01:13:06Life partners ?

01:13:07Now, what the hell is life partners ?

01:13:09She's a homo, Dad.

01:13:10What ?

01:13:11I call her the what ?

01:13:12A homo ?

01:13:13Yeah, we're here at the hospital, you know ?

01:13:15He's with me, so I can get circumcised, sir.

01:13:18What ?

01:13:19Not for me, though.

01:13:20Sir, circumcised.

01:13:21circumcised ?

01:13:22Yeah, so I can be a Jew, Daddy.

01:13:23You can be a...

01:13:24A Jew ?

01:13:25Daddy, I wanna tell you something, too,

01:13:27because I don't think I've ever told you this before.

01:13:28We never say this, but...

01:13:30I love you, Daddy.

01:13:31I love you.

01:13:32Hi.

01:13:33Hi.

01:13:34Ow !

01:13:35Sorry.

01:13:36You know, I'm glad we're hanging out again,

01:13:38but I kind of feel like something's missing.

01:13:40A little bit off the top.

01:13:42Ow.

01:13:43Top it up.

01:13:50Allison ?

01:13:54Want to have sex ?

01:13:56Not really.

01:13:58Not really.

01:14:02Clear that !

01:14:03Clear right !

01:14:04Didn't I order you to keep your son away from my son ?

01:14:09Excuse me.

01:14:10Don't you play dumb with me ?

01:14:13Buck O'Connell ?

01:14:15Oh, jeez.

01:14:17Your Adam has turned my Christian into some gay Jew.

01:14:22Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:14:23Buck, slow down.

01:14:24What are you talking about ?

01:14:26They're live partners.

01:14:29Life partners ?

01:14:31Wait, wait, wait, wait.

01:14:32What makes you think this ?

01:14:34He called and told me,

01:14:36while he was in hospital with your Adam,

01:14:39that he was about to get his package up

01:14:43so they could be gay Jews together.

01:14:47And then he told me,

01:14:49Dad, I love you.

01:14:51What the hell is going on, huh ?

01:14:54Oh, Dennis, we pushed him too far,

01:14:57and he snapped.

01:14:59With all the pressure that we put on him

01:15:01to marry a Jewish girl,

01:15:02the Asian wasn't enough,

01:15:03and he went the other way.

01:15:06Okay, Buck, first of all,

01:15:09you look fantastic.

01:15:11Whoa, hey, hey, hey, whoa.

01:15:13Take it easy, old man.

01:15:14No, but second of all,

01:15:15I mean, I'm having a hard time believing any of this.

01:15:17Oh, yeah ?

01:15:18Where's your boy right now ?

01:15:20Buddy, I'm so happy you're here,

01:15:23and that you're helping me with this.

01:15:24I don't know what I would do without you.

01:15:26You really need me to do this again ?

01:15:27I gotta be honest.

01:15:28I don't know if I can get through another gauze pass.

01:15:30And how many times a day do you have to do it ?

01:15:32Oh.

01:15:33Really, I can't do this myself.

01:15:34Please come and do it.

01:15:35God.

01:15:36Come on, just help me.

01:15:37Okay.

01:15:38Come here.

01:15:39Put some of that jelly on it,

01:15:40and let's get going.

01:15:41Okay.

01:15:42Oh, God !

01:15:43Oh, God !

01:15:44Drop the petroleum jelly,

01:15:47and back away from my son's anus.

01:15:50Holy .

01:15:52I knew it.

01:15:53Don't shoot him, Dad.

01:15:54Mom ?

01:15:55Adam !

01:15:56Dad !

01:15:57Damn it, Adam ! Jelly's for toast !

01:16:01Alison, I'm not a Jew,

01:16:03and I'm not a doctor,

01:16:04and my name is not Avi Rosenberg.

01:16:06Well, then, who the hell are you ?

01:16:07I'm Christian Thaddeus Reginald MacArthur O'Connell.

01:16:10I'm a plumber.

01:16:11Look, when I met you at the mixer,

01:16:13I begged my friend Adam here

01:16:15to help me pass myself off as a Jew

01:16:17so that you'd be able to date me.

01:16:19**** club ?

01:16:21Alison, how's it going?

01:16:23Marcy...

01:16:24Don't you even look at me.

01:16:25Rabbi, I'm so sorry.

01:16:26You **** club.

01:16:28Before Adam came along,

01:16:29I watched NASCAR,

01:16:30and I had the heads of dead animals

01:16:32that I'd hunted and killed myself on my wall,

01:16:34and I had no idea that when you order a salad at a restaurant,

01:16:36you can order the dressing on the side,

01:16:38let alone custom-create your own dishes off the menu.

01:16:40What the hell are you talking about?

01:16:41I fed your seas a salad.

01:16:43Jews can custom-create their own dishes off the menu.

01:16:46They're always up to something.

01:16:48No, I can hear you.

01:16:49That's why I messed up our date so bad,

01:16:51because I wasn't being myself.

01:16:53And then Adam told me the only way

01:16:54I'm ever gonna be able to get you back

01:16:55is if I could convince your mom

01:16:57that I was the greatest guy in the world.

01:16:59So that's why I poisoned your dad

01:17:01with the rotten gift filled of fish,

01:17:03because I wanted to partner with your mom

01:17:05in the bridge tournament.

01:17:06You're the reason I've been on the toilet

01:17:08for three days becoming a raisin?

01:17:10All right, now we finally beat the Fleischmann, Shlomi,

01:17:12so just leave it alone.

01:17:13Was there ever a medical conference in Dallas?

01:17:16No.

01:17:17I just needed time to recover from the circumcision.

01:17:19Oh, John!

01:17:21On the what?

01:17:22You wouldn't mind having circumcision.

01:17:24Why would you do all that?

01:17:26Because I love you.

01:17:27Allison, I love you.

01:17:28Allison, I love you.

01:17:38And I want...

01:17:40I want you to make every decision for me

01:17:42for the rest of my life.

01:17:43Will you do that?

01:17:44So I'm just supposed to forget about everything

01:17:46you just said because you love me?

01:17:48Yes, please.

01:17:50Son, stop this hollering and just propose to the girl.

01:17:57Don't put the tongue in.

01:18:04Well, that haircut is awful.

01:18:06So let me make an appointment for you with my guy

01:18:08because he's the best.

01:18:10I should take that as a yes, huh?

01:18:12Yes.

01:18:13I'll take that as a yes.

01:18:15Aw, Shlomi, we've got a plumber.

01:18:17Christian Thaddeus Reginald MacArthur O'Connell.

01:18:21Rosenberg.

01:18:22Now that's a nice Jewish name.

01:18:28We are so thrilled that you finally decided

01:18:30to come on a moose hunt with us.

01:18:32I can't wait to kill me a ten pointer.

01:18:34I'm gonna skin him and gut him and pull out his rectum.

01:18:37That's the spirit.

01:18:38Nobody is pulling out anybody's rectum here.

01:18:39That's what they do.

01:18:40No, no.

01:18:41Listen to me, Shlomi.

01:18:42That would be a disgusting thing to do.

01:18:43Think of it.

01:18:44You could be more of it.

01:18:45You could get bacterium.

01:18:46There are no wipes here that I can see.

01:18:48Shut up!

01:18:49Stop the convection.

01:18:52Mercy.

01:18:53Yarmulke man.

01:18:54Take a knee.

01:18:55A knee?

01:18:56Oh.

01:18:57Cramp.

01:18:58Careful.

01:18:59Not like that.

01:19:00For God's sake.

01:19:02I remember when my father took me out for my first hunt.

01:19:08Hunt.

01:19:09We all fall flat crazy over who's gonna be the lucky one to pull out that rectum.

01:19:14Uh.

01:19:15That's what they do?

01:19:16Oh, thank you.

01:19:17Nog, baby.

01:19:18Damn right.

01:19:19Nog, baby.

01:19:20Aw, daddy loves mama's nog.

01:19:23Nog, baby.

01:19:25I'm not really much of a nog guy.

01:19:27You know, the dairy kind of makes my acid reflux kick in,

01:19:30and I'm not even sure if the eggs are cage-free,

01:19:33so I don't feel safe.

01:19:34One sip won't kill me, I guess.

01:19:38Nog, baby.

01:19:39Oh, yeah.

01:19:45Ah!

01:19:46Ah!

01:19:47Oh, yeah!

01:19:49Ah!

01:19:50Ah!

01:19:51Uh, ah!

01:19:52Narnatang, and uh, uh, eh, dibai, n... whatever.

01:19:57My wife and I, we want to thank you for your hospitality.

01:20:00And for these beautiful hats.

01:20:06My father says it's an honor to have him as part of our family,

01:20:09and they've learned a great deal of wisdom from all of you this week.

01:20:12Thank you.

01:20:13Thank you.

01:20:14Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada

01:20:44C'est parti !

01:21:14Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada

01:21:44C'est parti !

01:22:16855-VAG-4U

01:22:19C'est parti !

01:22:21Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada

01:22:23C'est parti !

01:22:25Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada

01:22:27C'est parti !

01:22:29Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada

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Le Premier Regard | Film Complet en Français | Romance

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