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Jerome
  • 2 days ago
Tony twitters Big Gay Ice Cream and reads the Bemelman classic, Madeline.

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Travel
Transcript
00:00Listen, if you're in New York for only 24 hours and you're actually laying over for
00:1024 hours, the first thing you should do is ask yourself, why are we better out of New
00:14York than anybody else?
00:18Except no substitutes.
00:19This is my new favorite restaurant in New York.
00:23Where are we headed?
00:24I need a hot dog.
00:25Okay, I need meat in tube form.
00:27Oh yeah, God totally wants you to eat this.
00:34Tips to travelers, never look anyone in the eye on the New York City subway system.
00:38It's not a safety issue anymore, but it's really, it's polite.
00:52Tourists are easy to spot out.
00:54They're walking and they're always looking up.
00:56They don't know where they're going, they're looking around.
00:59New Yorker pace, you're moving, you're constantly, constantly moving.
01:03Put away your tour guide and what I'd suggest, find a section of the city that attracts you
01:08the most and get lost in it.
01:11New York City, where I call home.
01:16This ain't no layover for me, but considering how much I travel and how often I'm away, maybe
01:35I think I think I'm all about to lose myself again.
01:41As with most of my travels, I tend to eat my way through a city, and New York is no different.
01:47But back up a bit.
01:48First, you've got to get here.
01:50Now, we have three major airports, JFK, LaGuardia, and Newark out in Jersey.
01:58They all pretty much suck, and it's a pain in the ass compared to a lot of other cities
02:03getting to and from them on anything resembling mass transportation.
02:08Smartest way to go, my opinion, especially if you have luggage, look for signs for ground
02:13transportation, get on the taxi line, and take a yellow cab.
02:17Hey, how much from Kennedy to Manhattan flat rate?
02:20Flat rate is $45.
02:22Right, so it's $45 plus tall.
02:24Yeah, you're going to be $50, $30 altogether.
02:26And then you should tip like 15%, 20% on top of that if you're any kind of a good person.
02:30Yeah, exactly.
02:32That's a good deal, believe me, because New York's mass transit system, as far as airports
02:36are concerned, is completely ****, okay?
02:40Even if you don't know where you're going, it looks like you know where you're going.
02:43Do your best not to have your guidebook out and all of that stuff and, you know, the
02:46fanny pack.
02:47The best bet is to act like you know what you're doing.
02:51And someone will help you if you need to, but the bewildered is going to probably get
02:55you in a lot more trouble than you need to be in.
02:58Step one, go to hotel and drop your bags.
03:01Wandering around New York City with even an overnight bag is just, I don't know, it's
03:06not done.
03:07If you're willing to spend some bucks, I love the St. Regis.
03:11They don't make them like this anymore.
03:13But if you're looking to live large, particularly around Christmas season with all the shop
03:17windows on Fifth Avenue done up and stuff, it's pretty cool.
03:21If you're not a big pimp and oligarch and looking for more affordable accommodations, the recently
03:26restored Jane Hotel in the West Village might be more in your zone.
03:30I start my day near my neighborhood, stroller country, the Upper East Side.
03:38Shockingly, for an affluent area, the Upper East Side of Manhattan has a whole hell of a
03:42lot of really crappy restaurants, a lot of spectacularly overpriced ones.
03:47There are a few shining exceptions, however.
03:53I'm fascinated with this place.
03:55Bemelman's Bar, not the sort of place I hang out and probably not the sort of place you
03:59should hang out, but you should go once, at least.
04:02You know, what's interesting about Bemelman's Bar is it's in the Carlisle Hotel, which is
04:06something of a super exclusive, super discreet, I guess you'd call it an enclave.
04:11What's cool about it is you're, I guess if you were planning on having an extramarital
04:14affair or a clandestine meeting, like with a potential new employer, or you were engaged
04:21in insider trading, or some sort of conspiracy of questionable legality or morality, it's
04:28the perfect place to meet because you could be absolutely certain or near absolutely certain
04:33that you will not be bumping anybody you know.
04:37I don't know who goes there.
04:39I don't really care.
04:39I do know that it's one of the great old New York institutions, looks really cool,
04:45and just some place you should go.
05:01Why am I here?
05:02Well, because of these immortal lines.
05:04In an old house in Paris that was covered with vines, lived 12 little girls in two straight
05:08lines.
05:09I must have read that a couple of hundred times by now, as I think any self-respecting
05:14dad would.
05:18Ludwig Bellemans, who wrote the incredibly famous Madeline stories and did the murals in
05:23this bar named after him, the Bellemans Bar, was a very interesting man.
05:27Most people don't know that he also essentially wrote the original, the prototype for Kitchen
05:34Confidential.
05:35Long before I even dreamed of writing anything like it, Bellemans had written a number of
05:39short stories that were collected at various times about his experiences as a busboy, waiter,
05:44matron d'hotel.
05:45And one of the reasons I'm obsessed with this bar is because the murals on the wall here,
05:51and on the lamps, this is the only mural, basically I think it's the only place you can see a public
06:01display of Bellemans artwork anywhere in the world.
06:06So not only is it an incredibly rare thing, but it's also incredibly cool.
06:14Bellemans Bar is not swinging.
06:17It's probably not a good option if you're looking to get laid.
06:21This place, Burreria on the other hand, is the other end of the spectrum, sitting atop
06:25Mario Batali and Joe Bastianich's mammoth Italian superstore and restaurant megaplex, Italy.
06:32It's an insane Italian beer garden and rustic-style eatery in the sky.
06:37The food's great, and most of the beer is handcrafted artisanal stuff from people like
06:42the legendary Dogfish Head dudes.
06:44But Bellemans Bar is even for this jaded old , awesome.
06:48I think classic martini, two martini, is there any other way?
06:54And maybe an extra olive in there.
06:57And a room like this calls for a classic, you know?
07:02Cheers.
07:03To Ludwig.
07:08Wow.
07:09Yeah.
07:10It's like drinking martinis and reading children's stories.
07:14Time for food.
07:15I jump in a cab and head south from the Upper East Side to Midtown for some lunch.
07:20This place, Burger Joint, tucked away in a discreet corner of the Parker Meridian Hotel
07:25in Midtown Manhattan, is one of the city's great incongruities.
07:30You'd never know it was even there.
07:32Oh, nice.
07:33This place is so awesome.
07:35Who would have guessed a good food in a hotel?
07:38It's unbelievable.
07:40Okay, you gotta get your together here.
07:42You gotta figure out.
07:43Do I want a hamburger or a cheeseburger?
07:44How do I want to cook?
07:45And what do I want on it?
07:46Because they dress it with condiments.
07:48So basically, you're gonna get your together or else you go to the end of the line.
07:51By the way, it's cash only.
07:53Hello.
07:54Cheeseburger, medium rare, everything.
07:56Beer.
07:57Fries?
07:58No.
07:5913 foot.
08:00Sweet.
08:03I mean, this sign terrified me.
08:05I was like ready.
08:06Gotta be ready or you get sent to the end of the line.
08:10It's a long line, too.
08:11I picked this place because it was close.
08:13But if you're willing to wait on line or you want the best of the best, there are two
08:17other options.
08:18Shake Shack and Minetta Tavern.
08:21Let's face it, Danny Meyer's Shake Shack chain, especially the one here in Madison Square
08:26Park, is hard to beat for price and for, well, quality.
08:30They're pretty much the benchmark.
08:32Well, we're waiting in line for our Shack burgers.
08:35And we said that, like, you always get one and then you, like, finished with it and you
08:39just finished waiting in line.
08:40And you're like, I probably should have gotten to the double.
08:43Best burger in New York.
08:45I suggest the double cheeseburger with a shake.
08:48You want state of the art, though?
08:50The best, if priciest burger in New York City?
08:54That's probably the famous Black Label burger at the Minetta Tavern.
08:58A special blend made just for them by Meat Master General of New York, Pat LaFrieda.
09:05Now, getting in here, however, can be a challenge.
09:09Try early or late.
09:11And please, people, wherever you get your burger, order it medium rare.
09:17It is, after all, your patriotic duty.
09:20Here's what you need to know about life in general.
09:24Any place that refuses to sell you a burger under medium temperature is basically on the side
09:34of the terrorists.
09:35So, really, if you submit to this kind of evil dictatorship that anyone should be able
09:41to tell you how you want your burger prepared, you need to stand up.
09:46You need to pick up that burger, throw it on the floor, and say, I refuse to be cowed.
09:51It's just that American, that's what I'm saying.
09:54This is good.
09:55Oh, yeah.
09:58So, what are you eating there, vegetarian guy?
10:01They have one thing on the menu, a grilled cheese sandwich.
10:04Your life must be a lonely, barren, and bereft place.
10:09Yes, it is, but not for those reasons.
10:12Come on, bacon, you know you want it.
10:14You eat fish, right?
10:16You eat fish.
10:17So, there's hope for you.
10:18Yeah, in New York City, there's no sushi.
10:20What?
10:21Are you out of your mind?
10:23There's better sushi in New York than there is in Tokyo.
10:26That is, there's no way.
10:29There is.
10:30I just moved here from L.A. two months ago.
10:31No, you were so wrong, my friend.
10:33You'd have to pay a thousand dollars for it.
10:35Yeah.
10:36Okay, in L.A., you can get a great sushi meal for 50 bucks.
10:39I'm sure that's true.
10:43Nizawa.
10:44You can't.
10:45That's only the side here.
10:46Nizawa.
10:47Nizawa.
10:48Listen.
10:49Go to Yasuda.
10:50Yasuda?
10:51Yasuda, or blow it out and go to Masa, and I promise you, you can go to Tokyo and you
11:02really have a hard time.
11:03Is that Yasuda?
11:04Yeah.
11:05That's a pricey, but good.
11:07Okay.
11:08But anyway, you like fish, so just sneak a little pork, you know, fish is even better,
11:13particularly shellfish with a little pork in it.
11:16Similarly, just cook bacon, like, around him.
11:19You'll be back.
11:21I think they should just get ready for some of the craziness, like the case, it's a very,
11:28very fast pace.
11:30If you go to Midtown, just don't stop walking.
11:33Just keep walking.
11:34Protect your wallet.
11:36You are going to get picked.
11:37I mean, if you're not, careful, someone is out there to pick your pocket.
11:41I've never gotten one.
11:42Oh, I have.
11:43You're just always telling me that I'm gonna, but I never have.
11:45I have.
11:46You know what's good?
11:48Books.
11:49I'm not ashamed to say it.
11:50I read, and not only do I read, I kind of collect books on matters to do with food
11:55and cooking.
11:56Big surprise there, right?
11:58Upper East Side of Manhattan.
12:00We happen to have a particularly wonderful bookstore called Kitchen Arts and Letters,
12:05and they have one of the best, if not the best selections of rare and hard to get books
12:10on all things food.
12:12This right here, I own it already, but I want to touch it anyway, because these are some of
12:17the most beautiful, beautiful, beautiful books ever.
12:21This is an absolute timeless classic.
12:25As far as I'm concerned, this is The Walking Buddha right here.
12:29No greater man has ever lived.
12:32This is totally wonderful.
12:37Look, I need this.
12:38This I own, but every sentient human being who claims to love food should read this.
12:46This guy was, like, a thousand years before Kitchen Confidential.
12:50This is a fantastic book, by the way.
12:53For pure, high-test food porn.
12:56This is, this is really one of the great books ever.
13:01About a starving anarchist in Paris, surrounded by the most fantastic food and food preparation
13:07imaginable.
13:08And I, I have a copy already, but I need another one to give away.
13:13Another great New York bookstore is, of course, The Strand.
13:1618 miles of books.
13:18You can get lost in here, happily.
13:20It's a treasure hunt.
13:22Customers come in here looking for gems, looking for things.
13:25And they come here because of our prices.
13:27And our slogan is 18 miles of books, but we have more than that.
13:30And there's this place, St. Mark's Books, for oddball, off-the-wall, hipster obscure.
13:35Books you never thought you needed, but now, suddenly, you kind of do.
13:40Ah, yeah.
13:41Okay, I need the Spanish handbook.
13:43Dude, you should have seen me coming.
13:45Oh, baby.
13:47Honey, I got a book on slicing Spanish ham.
13:50Great.
13:51See you guys.
13:52Let's respond.
14:00I really believe that Subway is the only way to get around New York City.
14:06You know, when you're thinking of a cab and sitting in the comfort of a cab, but then,
14:10you know, you can get killed by a cab.
14:12Subway is the only way to get around New York City.
14:24The New York City subway system.
14:26Best you can say about it is it works.
14:28It runs on a pretty easy-to-navigate grid system, like our streets.
14:31And it's cheap.
14:33$250 will get you just about anywhere in the five boroughs, plus a free transfer included
14:38in the fare.
14:39Is it safe?
14:40Yes.
14:41But like anything else, don't be an idiot.
14:44Stand clear of the closing doors, please.
14:47Tips to travelers.
14:48Never look anyone in the eye on the New York City subway system.
14:51It's not a safety issue anymore, but it's really polite.
14:55Don't do that.
14:57Look at the floor.
15:00This is 59th Street.
15:02Let's roll.
15:04The dive bar, unfortunately, is an endangered species in Manhattan.
15:10By dive bar, I mean a real dive.
15:13Irony-free.
15:14Not hipstery.
15:15No overpriced PBRs from some sock-head mixologist with a goatee.
15:21Subway Inn is one of the city's great anomalies.
15:24A genuine dive, situated incongruously on the Upper East Side on 60th Street, right across
15:30from Bloomingdale's.
15:33A place where a hard-working chef, for instance, can sneak out for mid-afternoon beverage.
15:38Like this guy, Dave Chang, who not too long ago opened Ma Peche, the latest addition to his
15:44Mamafuku empire in a hotel near here.
15:46How are you doing, brother?
15:47Good.
15:48I'm guessing you don't wander around in this neighborhood.
15:51I certainly don't.
15:52No.
15:53If I find myself here, this is a really, this is a...
15:55It's an oasis.
15:56It is an oasis.
15:57It is an oasis, as is Le Vaudor across the street.
16:00Oh, the...
16:01It is a miracle that this place exists in the...
16:04In Midtown.
16:05I don't think people understand.
16:06We opened a restaurant, Ma Peche, in Midtown, and it was a soul-searching enterprise.
16:11Because I swore to myself, I swore to Tin, that we would never, ever go above, like, 14th Street.
16:17Everybody thought it was a really, really bad idea, actually, that you would go to Midtown.
16:21One thing, of course, leads to another, and going back to work, any kind of work,
16:26becomes, with each successive beer, a less and less attractive option.
16:31Better option?
16:32Hot dog.
16:34Where we're going is the East Village.
16:37Kind of a dead zone for subway options.
16:39But know this.
16:404 p.m. is shift change for the great majority of New York cabbies.
16:45This is going to be a nice trick, actually, getting a cab at this hour.
16:48This is sort of a cab hell situation.
16:50Usually, they're all on the way home, and will only, maybe, pick you up if you're going their way.
16:56It can be very, very tough around this time to find a cab.
17:00There's basically no way of .
17:03Hey, beautiful thing.
17:04Today, we got lucky.
17:09I don't even want to talk about what the East Village used to be like, compared to today.
17:13It was like Mad Max, post-apocalyptic.
17:17Now, it looks like a Dave Matthews concert.
17:20But what are you going to do?
17:21Be sentimental about crack getting ripped off by feral junkies?
17:25No.
17:26No.
17:27Now.
17:28Where are we headed?
17:29I need a hot dog, okay?
17:30I mean, meat in tube form should come as a surprise to no one.
17:33If New York has a chance of competing against the great dogs of the world,
17:38I think Crif Tog would probably be, if not the mountain top, the spear point.
17:45Crif Tog is a fun place.
17:49Oh, actually, the John John Daragon is amazing.
17:52Yes, I want that.
17:53Do you guys want any fries or tuts?
17:55You know what?
17:56We'll get some tater tots, small tater tots.
17:59So, what am I having?
18:00John, John Daragon.
18:01It's basically, you like everything bagels?
18:04Yeah.
18:05Basically, an everything bagel with a hot dog.
18:10Molten cheese?
18:11I know you like your fake processed cheese.
18:13It's one of your guilty pleasures.
18:14I do.
18:15And it's really only out of deference to you that I'm not thrusting my penis in there right now.
18:29Oh, that's good.
18:30You know, the cream cheese element is rather subtle.
18:35There's something sacrilegious about it, too.
18:37I mean, there's a whole Jewish court violation there, which actually is kind of a turn-on.
18:46Of all the hot dogs in New York, why would we come here?
18:49Crif Tog is probably one of the first places to offer...
18:52It's a gorilla dog.
18:53Yeah.
18:54What made us want to come here a bit more was usually you're here when you're pissed drunk
19:00or on your way to being pissed drunk, and you go to the bar next door.
19:05Behind the Get Smart type secret door in the phone booth is PDT, or Please Don't Tell.
19:11Swordfish.
19:14A pretty laid-back purveyor of classic and tweaked cocktails.
19:18So, of course, I'm telling.
19:20There's refreshingly a no-standing policy, meaning you get to sit and enjoy a drink if you're lucky enough to get in.
19:28I mean, we should point out that people watching the show, you're probably not getting in here.
19:32You're never going to drink here.
19:34No, you can get in here, but it's...
19:36Yeah, it'll be difficult.
19:39Yeah, prime time hours are difficult.
19:41Generally, like, earlier in the week, bar seats are first-come, first-served.
19:45The parties are two to three.
19:46So it's democratic?
19:47It's democratic, yeah.
19:48I want a classic New York cocktail, but old-school something, you know, pre-Mad Men.
19:55This is your classic Manhattan, served up with brandies and cherries.
19:58Really?
19:59And the rye we use is Rittenhouse, so you get that spicy, bold, assorted flavor.
20:05Mmm.
20:06The cocktails here are really, really good.
20:07You guys take their drinks really, really seriously here.
20:10The cocktails are, of course, awesome.
20:12But you've got to try the hot dogs.
20:14If a hot dog can be curated, they do it here.
20:17Specialty wieners like this one by Dave Chang.
20:20They cook them over at Criff Dog, but they're only available here.
20:23I would like a...
20:24I would like a Momofuku dog.
20:26Oh.
20:27I don't need a Momofuku dog.
20:28Maybe two Wiley dogs.
20:29Okay.
20:30The Momofuku dog is a bacon-wrapped doggy, deep-fried and smothered with spicy kimchi.
20:35It's the mutant Korean food that you like in Korea.
20:38Like, when you go to Korea and you're like, dude, that s*** is f***ed up.
20:41GI number one.
20:42Right.
20:43That's good, man.
20:44It's not bad.
20:45I know it's not disgusting.
20:46That's all I aim for.
20:47No, no, that's good.
20:48But I always order the Wiley dog.
20:50Not because I'm friends with Wiley, but I think it's delicious.
20:52The Wiley dog from WD-50's Wiley Dufresne is another deep-fried dog.
20:56A tube of fried mayo, and it's delicious.
20:59The Wiley dog from WD-50's Wiley Dufresne is another deep-fried dog.
21:03A tube of fried mayo, tomato molasses, and iceberg lettuce.
21:08It's awesome.
21:11Oh.
21:12I just love the fact that people are eating tea-fried mayonnaise.
21:15Dude, you've done good for the world.
21:17I mean, where else is there to go?
21:20No windows, strong cocktails, food supply close at hand, PDT is a dangerous and delicious proposition.
21:33New York's the best place to be a ventriloquist because we can do shows at all sorts of different places.
21:40We can do shows on the subway, in the comedy clubs, and even on Christopher Street.
21:46Personally, if I had only one night in New York these days, I'd probably come here.
22:01Date night at the Bourdain's? Here.
22:04Tekashi on Hudson Street in the West Village is my favorite new restaurant in New York.
22:10I may be sitting here alone and drunk now, but there are people who like me.
22:16And if I were to have a date night, it would be here.
22:19Oh yeah, and I'm telling you, there's nothing more romantic than sitting, you know, over a hot grill,
22:25looking longingly into each other's eyes and grilling little slivers of meat.
22:32Chef owner Takashi Inoue is of Korean descent, but raised in Japan.
22:38Inspired by his grandmother's restaurant in Osaka, he opened this yakinuku-style restaurant with his partner, Saheem Ali.
22:45Yakinuku is a mix of Japanese and Korean barbecue styles that grew up in Japan post-World War II.
22:54Everything's great here.
22:55That the cuts of steak are awesome should surprise no one.
22:58But it's the accent on horomone, literally discarded goods in Japanese, that can really set this place apart.
23:06This is handmade special for you.
23:09Oh, what's that?
23:10It's beef cold noodles with uni.
23:12Oh, you know I like that uni. Thank you.
23:15Chilled beef noodles with uni appetizer.
23:18This is the way all noodles should be, made of beef.
23:24God, that's awesome.
23:26Some beef nuts served escargot style. Test to cargo anyone?
23:31Oh, like snails.
23:33Yeah.
23:35Oh, wow.
23:36I generally don't like beef balls, but lamb balls, good.
23:40These, I never liked before. This is really good.
23:43Very French.
23:45Next, though, my favorite dish in the city right now.
23:49Nikouuni.
23:50It's really, really super high-test seaweed.
23:54Shisa leaf.
23:57Some incredible, grass-fed, jerked off, pampered, super fatty wagyu style, organic, artisanal beef, with a big, fluffy lump of Santa Barbara uni.
24:13That's sea urchin roe on top.
24:16Basically, you try to dimly recall your college years.
24:20Roll that up.
24:24Give it a little bit of a dip.
24:26You know, if you don't like this, we can never be friends.
24:41Now they fire up the infrared grill embedded in the table.
24:44All the meats are lightly marinated in Takashi's take on classic marinade.
24:49Sesame, orange marmalade, sake are simply seasoned with salt, pepper, and garlic.
24:55Shio tongue, one of my favorite things here.
24:57Tongue served with scallion salad.
25:00See, when the edges start to sort of pucker up like an aroused nipple, it's time to turn.
25:06Oh, man.
25:16Surami, beef cheek.
25:18Really, one of the great cuts.
25:20It's so interactive.
25:25Mmm.
25:27Shibiri, sweet breads.
25:29These, marinated in the special sauce.
25:31And wonderfully fatty belly of beef.
25:34Like fat back of steer.
25:36Awesome.
25:38Date night, if you don't go home and have the nastiest, dirtiest sex of your life.
25:42After this, there's really no hope.
25:45Clogged with more meat than...
25:47Okay, let me rephrase that.
25:49Well fed, buzzed on beer and sake, it's time for me to go home and pass out.
26:01It's morning and with less of 12 hours left, I'm headed out of Manhattan.
26:10Manhattanites like myself used to joke about the other boroughs.
26:14Joke's over.
26:15Long over.
26:17Increasingly, Brooklyn and Queens, for instance, are filling up with quirky, great, eccentric,
26:22and delicious places to eat that make the ride across the bridge not just worth it, but essential.
26:28This is, like, way off the grid for me.
26:32As a Manhattanite, this was a real...
26:34It takes a lot to get me out of Manhattan.
26:36But the drumbeat of awesomeness was just, like, relentless.
26:40M Wells.
26:41This place never could have existed in Manhattan.
26:44Rents alone would have smothered them at birth.
26:47In fact, shortly after we filmed this segment, it stopped existing here.
26:51But it is moving to a new address in Long Island City.
26:54And you must, must go.
26:58In a nearly unworkable diner space, they managed to crank out a menu unlike anything anybody else is doing in New York.
27:05Okay, I think definitely the soup with the foie gras.
27:08Absolutely the escargot and bone marrow.
27:10Yeah, I want the blood sausage.
27:12And that should hold me for the moment.
27:14My producer keeps handing me this homemade guidebook filled with fun facts, or what he thinks are fun facts.
27:21He actually stayed up all night writing this thing.
27:23Bound it himself.
27:24If you're looking to drop the kids off at the pool, take advantage of the city's hotels.
27:29Or in a pinch, duck into a local Starbucks.
27:32Hell no.
27:33You go to a bar.
27:34You order a beer.
27:35And while the guys pour in your beer, you go take a leak.
27:38Okay, it costs you five dollars.
27:41But you get a beer.
27:43Oh, there we go.
27:44Oh, yeah.
27:45That's looking good.
27:47A slab of foie gras over bacon-y corn chowder is awful freaking good.
27:53Mmm.
27:54That's good.
27:55If you want something more typical or less, I don't know, lethal, the New York bagel is of course a classic.
28:02A must.
28:03Essa Bagel would be an impeccable choice, either Midtown or Downtown.
28:08Find a better bagel in your town?
28:10Not bloody likely.
28:12And we got diners for the usual eggs over scrambled up all night.
28:16Nothing like utility diner food.
28:18But M Wells, this is, or was, or will be, my kind of diner.
28:24Oh.
28:25We have the Escargot.
28:27That is an evil, evil idea.
28:30But it makes perfect sense.
28:33Oh, look at that.
28:34That is just sinister.
28:38Bone marrow and Escargot.
28:40Brilliant.
28:42Oh, yeah.
28:44God totally wants you to eat this.
28:47Tortilla Española.
28:49After boiling potatoes, they mash them up with olive oil, add egg.
28:53Then they sear some homemade blood sausage and cover with the potato mix.
28:57Bake, add smoked paprika and drizzle with olive oil, and oh, yeah, perfection.
29:02Wow.
29:03Homemade blood sausage, which is so completely awesome and rare.
29:07Look at that nubbin of loveliness.
29:09See?
29:10It squeezes.
29:11Oh, look.
29:12See?
29:13That's the way it should go.
29:14It's meals like this one that make the trek out to Queens worth it.
29:18The street in New York is a stage.
29:30And I think everyone should wear bronzer and lipstick.
29:33And lip gloss and mascara, I think.
29:35If you don't like the way you look, wear makeup.
29:37If you have dark circles, please wear a concealer.
29:40Even if you're doing the laundry, put bronzer and lip gloss.
29:43You might meet the love of your life.
29:47Having eaten my way through M Wells, I jump in a cab and head back to Manhattan.
29:54Sometimes food's political.
29:56Actually, food and the choices we make, what we eat, what we don't or can't eat,
30:00they're always political.
30:02Me, when I want ice cream, I choose gay ice cream.
30:06Specifically, big gay ice cream.
30:09Where is big gay ice cream truck?
30:11Apparently, the kids today, the way they find out about these food truck things,
30:16I don't know, they go on this tweeter or twatter or something.
30:20I check Twitter for the current location of Doug Quint and Brian Petroff's justifiably renowned big gay ice cream truck.
30:28Score.
30:29They're at the northwest corner of Union Square.
30:31I hop across the bridge by cab and switch to the subway.
30:36Union Square at 14th and Broadway is a park, a cutoff point, a DMZ between downtown and the rest of New York.
30:43The scene of a green market on warm weather weekends.
30:46Oh, not so bad.
30:48It's tough choosing between the Bea Arthur and the Salty Pimp.
30:55But I'm big pimping today.
30:58Eventually.
30:59There's always a line.
31:00Doug's a perfectionist.
31:02And the product is worth waiting for.
31:04Oh, I have to have a Salty Pimp.
31:08That's my wife's voice in my head, you know.
31:11The Salty Pimp is a vanilla soft serve ice cream cone drizzled with caramel, sprinkled with salt, and dunked in chocolate.
31:18It is a thing of beauty as always.
31:20Thank you very much.
31:22I should have ordered a gayer cone.
31:27I mean, the Bea Arthur, that's pretty gay.
31:30As I stand on the streets stuffing my face, I contemplate my next move.
31:36I head over to the High Line, an elevated park high above the hustle and noise of the city.
31:41How are you guys?
31:42If I had $15 in New York, what should I get to eat?
31:46$15.
31:47Wow.
31:48Shake Shack.
31:49Shake Shack.
31:50Really?
31:51Yeah, you'll probably get in and out of there for $15.
31:52Or Papaya King on $86.
31:53That's a good hot dog.
31:54Okay.
31:55You're not getting much more for $15.
31:56I know.
31:57It's going to be tough.
31:58All right.
31:59Good luck.
32:00The High Line, as it's called, was a huge public works project of the 1930s that lifted freight train traffic 30 feet in the air.
32:08An elevated commercial pipeline running down the west side into the warehouse, meat packing, and industrial districts.
32:14None of which exist anymore.
32:16No trains have run since the 80s.
32:18The railway was abandoned, becoming over time a bizarrely beautiful urban space in the sky, overgrown with weeds.
32:25It was just there.
32:27The plan was eventually to tear it down.
32:30But a community-based nonprofit group working in partnership with the city of New York turned the structure into something distinctly strange and beautiful.
32:39A park, a promenade, and public space in the sky.
32:43New York City's famous for the shopping.
32:49Everybody says so.
32:50But you know what?
32:51There's a Bloomingdale's or something like it near you, right?
32:54You've got a mall.
32:55Saks Fifth Avenue?
32:56Just log on and buy that , right?
33:00For any shopping in New York, you'd be well advised to outfit your kitchen like the professionals in our restaurant supply district on the Bowery.
33:08Excuse me.
33:09What's up?
33:10Oh, deli slicer?
33:12Not yet.
33:13Hey, that's fun.
33:14If you could have one of these at home, you could really make yourself a sandwich.
33:18Oh.
33:19It's a great device for french fries?
33:21Right.
33:22This is the standard size, standard thickness, even the standard brand, probably, of just about every restaurant.
33:32Price, $18.95.
33:34And these things last, like, forever.
33:36You could beat these things all day long.
33:38Food mill.
33:39Totally awesome device.
33:41This is the way to make mashed potatoes, by the way.
33:44Correctly.
33:45Yeah.
33:46Good set of tongs.
33:47I'll be buying one of those.
33:48Oh.
33:49See, I love this stuff, okay?
33:51Storage bins, clear storage bins with snap on tops.
33:54I don't know.
33:55I'm not enthusiastic about these things.
33:56Also, you'll want them square so that they fit in your refrigerator.
34:00Well, it really brings me back to when I worked for a living.
34:03Oh, perfect.
34:04Let me get two of these.
34:09This is an awesome shaped knife.
34:13Incredibly cheap.
34:14Annoyingly large pepper mill.
34:16Would you like some pepper, really fresh cracked pepper with that, sir?
34:19Imagine the hilarity at the family events.
34:22Now, check this out.
34:24Two very cool knives.
34:25Tongs.
34:26A professional-grade saute pan that you will never need to replace in your life.
34:30And a cutting board, professional cutting board, for under $50.
34:34However, you see some anxious-looking person in Chef's Whites here?
34:37Like, you know, we're gonna flop sweat in the list in front of them.
34:40Please let him go first.
34:42Chances are, he has to get his back to the restaurant.
34:52The tourists are planning to come to New York.
34:54They seem totally unprepared.
34:56They're very badly dressed.
34:58I used to wonder why these people showed up looking like they were gonna clean out the garage.
35:03Bring some nice clothes.
35:05I mean, you may not care what you look like, but we have to look at you.
35:08The Lower East Side, once the great melting pot for the immigrants who built this country.
35:21Then, a drug supermarket.
35:23Then, finally, of course, hipster apocalypse.
35:26And I'll tell you right now, I'm too old for this .
35:30But chances are, you are not.
35:32And if you're young and hungry and need a quick snack, noted raconteur, blogger, author, lawyer, provocateur, hip-hop aficionado, and restaurateur Eddie Wong has two establishments well worth a stop.
35:46This one, his first, Bao House sells Taiwanese-style sandwiches.
35:52What's up, Tony?
35:53How are you, man?
35:54How's it going?
35:55All good.
35:56How's things?
35:57Good to see you, man.
35:58Good, good, good.
35:59So, this is it.
36:00I'm ashamed to say I haven't been here.
36:01You want me to order for you or you want to order?
36:02What should I do?
36:03Pork belly is everyone's favorite.
36:04And then, lately, people like fried chicken.
36:06Okay.
36:07Let me get one.
36:08Yeah.
36:09Pork belly and a fried chicken.
36:10Sounds like a plan.
36:11All right.
36:12Sounds good.
36:13This is the chairman Bao.
36:14Pork belly, house relish, crushed peanuts, Taiwanese red sugar, and cilantro.
36:19Then, this one is the birdhouse Bao.
36:21We brine the chicken for like five or six hours.
36:24A Taiwanese five-spice brine.
36:26And we fry it in sweet potato starch, red pepper powder, cilantro, peanut, and sugar.
36:31So, enjoy.
36:33If you get a lemonade, I think the lemonade is good.
36:35Yeah.
36:36The lemonade is dope.
36:37All right.
36:38Mm.
36:39Delicious.
36:40Yeah.
36:41We braised the pork like three hours.
36:42So, super tender.
36:43Mm-hmm.
36:44A lot of fun.
36:45So, you come down to the LES much anymore?
36:47No.
36:48No?
36:49I never come down here.
36:50The bad rap on the place, of course, is that it's become completely apple-fied.
36:52It's like Disneyland.
36:53But it really hasn't completely.
36:54No.
36:55It hasn't.
36:56I mean, it is gentrified.
36:57I mean, when you have an Asian sandwich shop, you've been gentrified, right?
37:00Really?
37:01Is that the, uh...
37:02I think cupcakes and trendy Asian sandwiches, it's kind of like the nail in the coffin.
37:06But, I mean, we try to keep it real.
37:08You know?
37:09We hire kids from the neighborhood.
37:10We play dope music.
37:11We stay open late.
37:12Everybody can come in and party.
37:13We get arrested all the time.
37:15Really?
37:16Ticket?
37:17What do they do?
37:18Tickets?
37:19Yeah, I gotta go to court in August.
37:20Drunken disorderly?
37:21Yeah.
37:22So, where are we going?
37:23Speaking of liquor, where are we going next?
37:24Tammany Hall on Orchard.
37:25Opened up about, like, six, seven months ago.
37:26Dope little place.
37:27They have, like, a lot of cool shows.
37:28We go get drinks over there a lot.
37:30Like, low-key, easy stuff.
37:31Sounds like a plan.
37:32Yeah.
37:33All right, Tony, what are you drinking?
37:34I'm bartending.
37:35Bartender didn't show up today.
37:36Beer good.
37:37Beer.
37:38You know what's great about New York?
37:39The threshold for citizenship as a New Yorker is actually pretty short.
37:44Yeah.
37:45Like, if you come to New York, and you still like it two years after you arrived here, and
37:49you still think it's great, and you're having a good time, and you haven't been totally
37:52ground down and go limping back to wherever the f*** you came from, then you know what?
37:56You're in.
37:57When people try to compare New York and L.A., I think it's not even a contest.
38:01Because L.A., they will blow hot air up your ass.
38:04Anything.
38:05You have an idea.
38:06If I was like, I just want to sell 20 different types of egg rolls in one spot.
38:09It's the egg roll fusion.
38:10They would tell your friend, oh, that's a great idea.
38:12In New York, they'd be like, kill yourself.
38:14Kill yourself right now.
38:19If you want to see real New York, you got to hit the streets.
38:23You can't go to the tourist place.
38:24You can't go to 42nd Street.
38:26Well, now L.A.S. became a trendy area.
38:29You used to be able to go there and catch some real life, some dope fiends, some stabbings.
38:35Random.
38:36Random stabbings.
38:37Not just regular ones.
38:39I don't know what you would do, man.
38:41What I do every day is I drive around.
38:43I smoke weed.
38:45I look for cheese shops.
38:47I look for all kinds of artisan breads and stuff like that.
38:50This is what I choose to do with my day.
38:52Shortly after I left, there was something of a disturbance out front.
38:55Apparently, Eddie and crew got smart and got out before the police arrived, heading over
39:00to legendary late-night, chef-friendly Chinese restaurant, New York Noodle Town.
39:05Chinatown is in Lower Manhattan.
39:07It's traditionally been a great place to go late and get hammered.
39:10Only to be followed by Koreatown and Midtown.
39:13Whether you're a half-in-the-bag line cook looking for some spicy crab and noodles, some Korean
39:17barbecue, or a businessman looking for a steam and an old-fashioned, maybe these are two
39:22neighborhoods you want to investigate.
39:25Consult your nerdiest food website.
39:27I mean, New York is a miracle.
39:36It's a miracle.
39:37You have 250 different ethnic denominations here in the whole city.
39:42We've gone from pastrami sandwiches to Vietnamese sandwiches, you know, and it's just a reflection
39:46of the different types of people, you know, that have come to live here.
39:50On my way home, my George Jeffersonian abode on the Upper East Side, stroller territory, Daddyville.
40:02How you doing?
40:03Go to 86th and 3rd, please.
40:11Something of a wasteland for food, but there is a shining bright light.
40:17So, this is close to where I live.
40:22And I know what you're thinking, and you're right.
40:25Upper East Side.
40:26Man, you've gone over to the dark side.
40:28And yes.
40:29Yes, I have.
40:30It's the boondocks, let's put it that way.
40:32But there is always a shining light on the hill.
40:35An old reliable, arguably the best hot dog in New York City.
40:42Our best foot forward in the meat in tube form department.
40:46Except no substances.
40:49Let me get two with a mustard sauerkraut and a papaya to stay.
40:57I order the classic.
41:02Two dogs, a sauerkraut, and a papaya drink.
41:06Thanks a lot.
41:07Thanks a lot.
41:08Of course, I could have visited the famous Arepa lady if I was headed out to Queens, located
41:14under the L on Roosevelt Avenue.
41:17Maria Piedad Caño makes sublime, legendary Colombian-style arepas.
41:22Flat cornmeal cakes stuffed or topped with meat or cheese and fried to perfect goodness.
41:28But I'm lazy.
41:29And hell, I'm a traditionalist.
41:31For me, there's nothing better than a papaya king to tamp it all down, send me off into the
41:36arms of Morpheus properly.
41:39It's the gold standard.
41:41Well, I think we've learned something today.
41:44It's about this city.
41:46Don't play free card monkey.
41:47Never eat anything bigger than your head.
41:49Don't look at people in the eyes of the subway.
41:51Sixth Avenue is Sixth Avenue.
41:52It's not Avenue in the Americas.
41:54It's Houston Street.
42:01Do not put ketchup on your hot dog.
42:05Pretty sure God doesn't want you to do that.
42:11New York.
42:12It may not be the best city in the world, though I sure as hell think it is.
42:16It's certainly not the cheapest, though it's far, far from the most expensive.
42:21It may not be the prettiest or even the nicest, though it's getting nicer every day.
42:26Damn it.
42:27But it is mine.