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00:10The truth is I was unsettled the day that Robert left us to go back to London.
00:16I didn't want him to go.
00:20We'd had precious little time together since Nick was born.
00:24But I didn't want him to make a choice between family and work.
00:29So there was the sea, the sun was shining brightly, but...
00:35I just didn't want to be there on my own.
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01:47We need to find him.
01:48He went to work yesterday, but so what? He's twenty fucking five.
01:51He called me at four this morning and now I can't get hold of him.
01:54He won't pick up. He won't ask any of my calls.
01:57He doesn't want to talk to you.
01:58No, darling, he was in a terrible state.
02:00Oh, really?
02:01He was sobbing.
02:03He didn't speak, he didn't say anything.
02:05He was just weeping.
02:06Oh, really?
02:08Hi, Nick.
02:10Er, yes, mate. It's your father.
02:13Give me a call when you wake up.
02:15I just want to check you're alive, okay? I love you. Bye.
02:18He knows.
02:19He knows what?
02:21What have you told him?
02:23What have you told him about me?
02:25I haven't told him anything, but I intend to.
02:27Oh, it's a bit late now, isn't it?
02:29Someone's beaten you to it.
02:31What do you mean? Who?
02:32A crazy fucking maniac has gone to him.
02:34What? You mean the father of the boy who drowned, saving Nick's life?
02:39You mean he found the young man,
02:41who fucked and then denied ever having met after he died saving our child?
02:47You mean that? Crazy fucking maniac.
02:49You are unbelievable.
02:50Don't you get it?
02:51Our son is in danger, Robert.
02:53I've never heard him like that.
02:56I'm scared.
02:57Oh, yes. You're scared.
02:58Looking bad, aren't you?
02:59I mean, it was inevitable that he'd find out.
03:01I just wish it would have been me that would have told him.
03:03This is your fault, right? You're responsible for this.
03:06It doesn't matter who's fault it is, Robert.
03:08I mean, what did you respect?
03:09What do you think that he would react?
03:11I mean, you were his mother.
03:13You were responsible for all of this.
03:14You never gave a shit about him, did you?
03:15He got his password.
03:16You were so caught up with your toy boat that you let him alone on the beach.
03:21Robert, did we know his password?
03:22When he couldn't even swim.
03:24He couldn't swim.
03:25Robert, would you just give me his password?
03:27I don't know his password because I respect his privacy.
03:30I give him some basic decent concern.
03:33What is he supposed to make of you, though, Catherine?
03:36I mean, you were his mother.
03:37You were the one who was meant to actually protect him.
03:40You didn't protect him. You just concentrated.
03:41He's smoking again.
03:42Oh.
03:43Did you know that?
03:44Don't you tell me how to parent our son after you've been gone for 20 years.
03:48How dare you?
03:49What the hell do you think I've been doing?
03:51Oh, God, he's lost his job.
03:52What?
03:53No, he hasn't.
03:54So where's he been all day when you thought he was at work?
03:58Do you have any idea who he might be with?
04:03Friends?
04:04I mean, I don't know if he has any friends.
04:07Do you?
04:08Um...
04:10He mentioned...
04:11He mentioned a girlfriend, but I haven't met her.
04:14I don't...
04:15I don't know the name.
04:16I'm...
04:17I'm not that sure she even exists, Catherine.
04:20Oh.
04:21No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
04:32Darling?
04:37Is it Nick?
04:40Yes.
04:44Even though Nancy described the events that happened between Jonathan and Catherine Ravenscroft,
04:49with incredible detail and accuracy, she played around with some facts, of course.
04:56That is what writers do.
04:59For instance, Jonathan had traveled to Europe with his girlfriend.
05:03That is a fact Nancy left intact.
05:07Though she changed the reason for Sasha's early return.
05:11Do you remember the solar eclipse?
05:13We get a full one once a century in England.
05:17And it came on a cloudy day.
05:24What a waste.
05:25Very British.
05:26Can't be bothered.
05:28It was my last chance to see one.
05:31We can always try to catch the next one, you know.
05:34We could travel.
05:36To Madagascar?
05:37Why not?
05:38That's nonsense.
05:39Absolutely ridiculous.
05:41Stop faffing about.
05:42We do something about that bloody bridge.
05:44It's driving me mad.
05:46Hello.
05:48Oh, hello, Emma.
05:50Good to hear from you.
05:53Oh, I see.
05:54No, no, no, no, no, I didn't know.
05:57No.
06:02Well, I think it's up to them to sort out their differences.
06:09Well, let's not aggrandize things here, Emma.
06:12I mean, we don't know what went on down there.
06:13Oh, no, clearly your daughter's exaggerating there because I...
06:20Oh, that's nonsense.
06:25No, that's really very extreme, Emma.
06:27I...
06:28No, that really isn't necessary, Emma.
06:30All right, Emma, it's good to talk to you.
06:32Thanks for calling.
06:33Goodbye.
06:35What?
06:40What?
06:42What happened?
06:43That was Sasha's mother, Emma.
06:44Sasha's back in London.
06:47When did...
06:48Her and Jonathan had a row and she's stormed off.
06:52That girl's a mess.
06:54Are you gonna stop that irritating noise or what?
06:58Sasha's aunt hadn't died.
07:00That's not why she came home.
07:02The book was a work of fiction,
07:05but it released the truth from its ballast,
07:09allowing it to float up to the surface.
07:12Scans show that he'd had a stroke secondary to infective...
07:15What if he said a stroke?
07:17He said a stroke.
07:18It's quite common with people who inject drugs.
07:20So will he be okay?
07:22He's stable right now,
07:23but it's too early to determine the extent of the damage
07:25until we wake him up.
07:26Damage?
07:27What do you mean by damage?
07:28Neurological damage, if any.
07:30What kind of neurological damage?
07:33Motor, cognitive, speech.
07:35But we shouldn't speculate.
07:37At this point he's stable and that's what we need to concentrate on.
07:40So...
07:42When are you planning to wake him up?
07:44We'll run some new tests later today
07:46and if they look okay, we'll try and wake him up tomorrow.
07:49But he'll recover, won't you? Fully?
07:50Yes, he could, yeah.
07:51You said he could, but what are the odds?
07:53I mean, given your experience with other cases?
07:55Well, each case is different and I'm really sorry.
07:59All we can do is wait.
08:01Yeah, but why can't we?
08:02Catherine and Robert keep on asking questions
08:05that they know are fruitless.
08:07But they persist, hoping to receive a different answer,
08:12the one they wish to hear.
08:14Doctor, I'm really sorry.
08:15Yeah, I do have to.
08:16Thank you.
08:22You can...
08:23You can sit with him first if you'd like.
08:24Thank you.
08:54You find yourself wondering if Nicholas has always been vulnerable to an early death.
09:04He had been saved once already.
09:07But you're frightened that this time, he won't be so lucky.
09:19Robert's head is shattered in confusion.
09:22Nicholas being in hospital produces an intense feeling of guilt and anxiety.
09:30But those feelings can't push away the jealousy he feels towards the young man who had an affair with his wife
09:37and then saved his own child.
09:42A martyr who had emasculated him forever.
09:44He also thinks about his conversation with Stephen Brigstock the night before.
09:54The man's humility and simplicity.
09:57And his immense understanding and compassion.
10:01And how the only thing Stephen and his wife had asked for
10:06was to meet the boy who their son had died saving.
10:09Found it?
10:10Yep.
10:11You good?
10:12I'm good.
10:14So I've already put in your username and password.
10:19This tap help center, how do I delete my account and then delete your account permanently?
10:24Right.
10:25It's asking me why do you want us to delete your account, what should I say?
10:28Just anything, it doesn't matter.
10:29Alright, I will choose concerns about my privacy.
10:37It's telling me this deletion will be final.
10:40Yeah.
10:41It's a shame, you know?
10:42It's not my best work.
10:44Re-enter your password.
10:52Please confirm.
10:53Are you sure you want to delete your...
11:08I was sad letting Jonathan's Instagram account go.
11:12But it was time to begin tidying up.
11:15To wipe my fingerprints away.
11:20It's gone.
11:21Yeah.
11:23All done.
11:24Easy.
11:34That's it, Tommy.
11:36Cheers.
11:37You can buy yourself some new friends.
11:41Hello.
11:42Mr. Brigstark, this is Robert.
11:44Yes.
11:45Robert Ravenscroft.
11:47Is this a convenient time?
11:50Oh, well, of course, Mr. Brigstark.
11:51It's fine.
11:53I'm afraid I'm calling with some rather sad news.
11:57Nicholas is in hospital.
11:59Oh, that's terrible.
12:00I'm so sorry to hear that.
12:02Is he okay?
12:04Still early to be certain, but he appears to be stable.
12:07Oh, well, may I ask what the problem is?
12:12Yes.
12:14Nicholas has been struggling with addiction.
12:17Why?
12:18Quite some while.
12:20Oh, I'm so sorry.
12:22I can't imagine how you must be feeling.
12:25Yes, it is rather difficult.
12:29May I ask, would it be possible for me to go and visit Nicholas?
12:35Nicholas?
12:37At the hospital?
12:39I mean, if you think it's appropriate.
12:42Yes, of course you can.
12:44He's at East Acton Hospital in intensive care.
12:48Oh, thank you.
12:50Would it be possible to go as soon as, well, a bit later this evening?
12:57By all means, I'll be very pleased to see you as well.
13:01Thank you, Mr. Ravenscroft.
13:02Nicholas is in my prayers.
13:05Goodbye.
13:06Please take care.
13:07Thank you.
13:17I was surprised by how easily the pieces fell into place.
13:22The boy is a junkie.
13:25Of course he is.
13:28And the father, the irrelevant dimwit.
13:32He had just served me the meal on a platter.
13:36All I had to do was to feast on it.
13:38Of that day on the beach, I remember it was very bright and it was very hot.
13:58And I remember feeling lonely and I also remember thinking what a patient mother I was and the guilt I felt for thinking that.
14:15And that was the first time that I saw him.
14:16And I wondered...
14:17And that was the first time that I saw him.
14:18And I wondered...
14:19How long had he been there, sort of staring at us?
14:21How long had he been there?
14:22How long had he been there?
14:23How long had he been there?
14:24Like, I was still staring at us.
14:25How long was that?
14:26How long had he been there?
14:27Like, what a patient mother I was and the guilt I felt for thinking that.
14:30And that was the first time that I saw him.
14:36And I wondered...
14:42How long had he been there?
14:48Sort of staring at us.
14:53Ich war sehr selbstbewusst. Ich fühlte mich irgendwie exposed.
14:58Und ich dachte, das ist eine kostenlose Kamera für jemanden so jung.
15:03Ich muss mich schon mal fotografieren, aber ich weiß nicht, dass ich ihn tatsächlich machen kann.
15:11Robert lässt dich nicht in einem Ort neben ihm sein,
15:15so du wirst dich mit Nikolaus sitzen.
15:19In a way, you are relieved not to see him.
15:23You have no room to think about him.
15:26All you want is to be with your son.
15:30And every moment is precious.
15:49Hello?
15:56Hello, Catherine.
15:58This is Sarah Fincham from Human Resources.
16:01Oh, hello, Sarah.
16:04Yes, how can I help?
16:06I understand there was an incident in the office yesterday.
16:08Simon says he doesn't want to make a formal complaint.
16:11Nevertheless, we are obliged to record that you've physically attacked him.
16:15It will have to go in your file.
16:17I see.
16:19And I'm sorry, Catherine, but we can't allow anyone to be above our disciplinary procedure,
16:24so we will have to look into the allegations made by Mr Stephen Brickstock,
16:28because they are serious.
16:29Are they?
16:30I'm sure you can understand that.
16:32Yes.
16:33Yes.
16:34Is there anything you'd like to say at this stage?
16:37No.
16:40Well, I'm going to sign you off work for a week to start with, just for now.
16:45Stop, stop, stop, stop. Stop controlling.
16:47Catherine?
16:48Check.
16:49Are you there?
16:50Yes.
16:51Yes, I'm here.
16:52I understand you've been under pressure at work.
16:55It's not work.
16:57I haven't been under pressure at work.
16:59Good to hear that.
17:01Okay, so should I sign you off soon?
17:04No, no, no, no!
17:06Yes, please.
17:08Look, I did wonder whether it might be helpful for you to talk to someone about managing your anger.
17:12We could help with that, pay for counselling.
17:14Someone independent, of course, and confidential.
17:17How does that sound?
17:20Would that be...
17:21I'm sorry, I can't talk to you at the moment.
17:22I'm at the hospital.
17:23Oh, God.
17:24I'm sorry.
17:25Is everyone alright?
17:27No.
17:28No, it's not alright.
17:30Oh, I'm sorry.
17:31Yes.
17:32Okay.
17:33Thanks very much.
17:34Bye.
17:37You know that your much cherished reputation has already been crushed.
17:43That nothing will ever be the same for you again.
17:47And you don't care.
17:49I decided to wear Jonathan's deodorant.
17:58I was already wearing Nancy's cardigan.
18:02The three of us would restore the balance together.
18:12Hello.
18:14I'm looking for Nicholas Raymond's Croft.
18:18Hello.
18:19I'm here to see Nicholas Ravenscroft.
18:25Hello.
18:27I'm here to see Nicholas Ravenscroft.
18:34Hello.
18:36I'm here to see Nicholas Ravenscroft.
18:48Das ist ein McCoy.
19:18Did I flirt with him when I saw him looking?
19:22Did I do something that he might have misconstrued as a signal?
19:27I don't think that I did.
19:35But I have to admit that that little smile, that little connection, it did give me a boost.
19:42And as I walked away from the beach, I felt him looking at me from behind.
20:12I don't know.
20:18I'm just looking.
20:24Look at that.
20:26You look beautiful.
20:28What do you care?
20:31That's it, eh?
20:35Das war's für heute.
20:40Ihr gesamte Bücher sollte das Buch haben.
20:43Aber es geht nicht mehr.
20:46Whatever passiert,
20:48das Teil zumindest ist vorbei.
20:52Ihr wisst, dass wenn Nikolaus überlebt,
20:55dann wird er nicht mehr secret.
20:58Er wird alles wissen.
21:05Vielen Dank.
21:35There you go, thanks.
21:43Hello, can I help you?
21:44Nicholas Raven.
21:45Sorry, I didn't quite get that.
21:49I'm here to see Nicholas Ravenscroft.
21:53Oh, yes, Mr. Ravenscroft did say you were coming.
21:56If you follow me, I'll take you down.
21:58Now, I just have to warn you, Nicholas is currently attached to quite a lot of machinery,
22:10so it can be a little bit frightening when you first see him, okay?
22:14But he is stable now.
22:18Hello, I've got Nicholas's grandfather here.
22:22Thank you.
22:23Hello.
22:24Hello.
22:27He's in the last bed on the left.
22:30Thank you.
22:31Thank you.
22:32Ruby?
22:40Ruby?
22:41Ich bin bereit, alles zu nehmen.
23:11Ich bin bereit, alles zu sehen.
23:41Ich bin bereit, alles zu spüren.
23:46All I need to know was a little nudge.
23:50I didn't care for consequences.
23:54The only thing that mattered was for Catherine Ravenscroft to suffer the way that Nancy and I did.
24:01I can't believe you said it.
24:05Thanks.
24:06Your father's here.
24:07Sorry?
24:08Your father?
24:09No, my father.
24:10What are you doing?
24:11What are you doing?
24:12He can't be in here.
24:13What are you doing?
24:14Get away from my son.
24:16Get away from my son.
24:17Get away from my son.
24:18Are you okay?
24:19Don't move.
24:20Calm down.
24:21Your father just wanted...
24:22He's not my father.
24:23Jack on your son.
24:24Who do you think you are coming in here?
24:25I have given you every opportunity.
24:26I went to your house.
24:27ive only wanted to say something missing.
24:29I only wanted to say something missing.
24:29He out of here, he was trying to know what happened to me.
24:33I like to know what happened.
24:34I was like, man.
24:36What are you doing?
24:36You can't be here.
24:37What are you doing?
24:38He can't be in here.
24:40What are you doing?
24:42Get away from my son.
24:44Get away from my son.
24:45Get away from my son.
24:46Are you okay?
24:47Don't move.
24:48Calm down.
24:49Sie können hier nicht більig.
25:19We should start making calls.
25:33Let people know what happened.
25:38I should call Sasha first.
25:42It's only right that she's the first person we call.
25:46I don't want to hear you.
25:48Nobody else.
26:02Hello, Emma.
26:05It's Nancy at Brickstock.
26:06Would it be possible to speak this session, please?
26:14Do you know when she'll be back?
26:18I understand, but this is important, Emma.
26:26If you would just listen to me, please.
26:29We have some very distressing news.
26:31Jonathan is dead.
26:32That, that Jonathan is dead, that's what I mean.
26:50Later, I'm in the sea in Italy, saving the child.
26:55You do that.
26:56Mm, thank you.
27:04What did she say?
27:08Sasha was out, but she let her know what happened.
27:13Anything else?
27:15She's sorry for our loss.
27:20Nothing else.
27:21You said she had to go.
27:28We never knew whether Sasha's mother told her daughter what happened or not,
27:32because we never heard from them again.
27:37Something had sent Jonathan's girlfriend, Sasha, running home to her parents,
27:42leaving Jonathan alone in Italy.
27:44Something happened there that caused her mother to make that angry phone call.
27:56Nicholas was happy to sleep by himself so long as I kept the door open between us
28:03so he could see me if he woke up.
28:06And once he closed his eyes, he always, always stayed asleep.
28:17And I clearly remember this swell of happiness that evening.
28:22I realized that I was truly relaxed, that everything had been fine after all.
28:33I was enjoying my time alone with Nicholas and with myself.
28:38And I decided to finish the evening with a nice glass of wine on my terrace.
28:53If you could look straight ahead for me, please.
28:55It had been such a long time since a woman had shown me concern.
28:59I liked feeling her hands on me, taking care not to hurt me, being careful with my pain.
29:09And her voice was gentle, too.
29:12Her concern for me was real.
29:15And I was grateful for her kindness.
29:18Okay.
29:20There you go.
29:22How are you feeling?
29:24Fine.
29:24I, I, I, I, I...
29:25I was a bit rattled.
29:29I can imagine, dear.
29:30You suffered quite a blow.
29:32That woman is like my husband.
29:34I know what it's like to feel attacked like that.
29:38All vital signs are normal.
29:40Give me a shout if you need anything.
29:41Thank you.
29:42Take care, Mr. Stephen.
29:43Thank you.
29:44You're done.
29:47You're all right?
29:48You're going to be a bit sore for the next couple of days.
29:51I'm going to get you some tablets for the pain.
29:53Can you get me something to help me sleep?
29:58Sure.
30:02Hello, you've got to visit her.
30:04I am so sorry.
30:06I heard what happened.
30:08I just came as soon as I could.
30:09I know what my wife did and I am appalled.
30:12I am so, so sorry.
30:14It's not your fault, Mr. Hainscroft.
30:17She was shocked, I suppose, to see me there.
30:21You didn't tell her that you'd invited me.
30:25We don't really speak.
30:27I know that's odd considering how ill Nick is,
30:30but I'm struggling to understand why she did what she did
30:35or why she didn't even tell me.
30:37I came a long way by bus
30:39because I really wanted to see Nicholas.
30:45I know it's what Nancy, my wife, would have wanted.
30:49She would have loved the chance to get to know
30:52the boy whom my son gave his life for.
30:57Then why don't you come again?
31:01Do you really mean that?
31:03Yes, yes, of course.
31:04Oh, oh.
31:06Nicholas would really want that.
31:08If you feel nervous at all, please don't be.
31:11It would be a wonderful gift.
31:15That is thoughtful.
31:17Yes, I like that very much.
31:20Thank you.
31:21These are the tablets for the pain.
31:22Take two.
31:24And I shouldn't be doing this,
31:25but these will help you sleep tonight.
31:26But only take one.
31:28Very well.
31:29Thank you.
31:30Yes.
31:32Well, you've been very kind to me.
31:35Thank you so much.
31:36No worries.
31:37Get home safely.
31:38Thanks.
31:40Yes.
31:41I really should go.
31:44I'm very tired.
31:45And everything had become more complicated.
31:49And for a moment,
31:50I thought that I had to rely on fate to bring justice.
31:55It was possible that Nicholas Ravenscroft
31:58would slip away all by himself
32:00with no need of my intervention.
32:04He had a stroke, the nurse had said.
32:08She also said that he might survive,
32:11but that he could be severely impaired
32:14for the rest of his life.
32:17That was attractive, but it wasn't enough.
32:22I didn't want to give Catherine Ravenscroft
32:24the opportunity to play a new role
32:27as the devoted mother selflessly taking care
32:30of her impaired son.
32:34No.
32:36I wanted her to suffer the ghost of absence.
32:40Only death is irrevocable.
32:44Only then could I kill her.
32:50I thought that I had lost my opportunity,
32:53but then his father, such a feeble creature,
32:56had handed me the golden keys.
32:59All I had to do was to pay poor Nicholas another visit.
33:19I smiled.
33:20Yes, because I was embarrassed
33:23and I didn't want to appear unfriendly.
33:28I felt self-conscious knowing that he knew I was alone.
33:37I wasn't used to being on my own anymore
33:40and I certainly wasn't used to being looked at like that.
33:44His camera,
33:48his intense attention,
33:50it did make me nervous,
33:51but I have to admit,
33:52it also made me excited.
33:56Maybe I'll fantasize about this moment.
34:00Later.
34:04Maybe.
34:06Maybe not.
34:07Maybe not.
34:07Maybe not.
34:08Maybe not.
34:08Maybe not.
34:09Maybe not.
34:09Maybe not.
34:10Maybe not.
34:10Maybe not.
34:11Maybe not.
34:11Maybe not.
34:12Maybe not.
34:12Maybe not.
34:13Maybe not.
34:13Maybe not.
34:14Maybe not.
34:14Maybe not.
34:15Maybe not.
34:15Maybe not.
34:16Maybe not.
34:16Maybe not.
34:17Maybe not.
34:17Maybe not.
34:18Maybe not.
34:18Maybe not.
34:19Maybe not.
34:20Maybe not.
34:20Maybe not.
34:21Maybe not.
34:21Maybe not.
34:22Maybe not.
34:22Maybe not.
34:23Maybe not.
34:24Maybe not.
34:24Maybe not.
34:25Maybe not.
34:26Maybe not.
34:26Maybe not.
34:27Maybe not.
34:28Maybe not.
34:29Maybe not.
34:30Maybe not.
34:31Maybe not.
34:32Maybe not.
34:33Maybe not.
34:34Das war's für heute.
35:04Das war's für heute.
35:34Das war's für heute.
36:04Das war's für heute.
36:34Das war's für heute.
37:04Das war's für heute.
37:34I'm going to make some tea first.
37:39You should fix that.
37:46Builders?
37:52Oh, I don't care.
37:58Your book is extremely detailed.
38:03I didn't write it.
38:06Nancy wrote it.
38:10She was a great writer.
38:12Well, she managed very accurate descriptions of the places.
38:19We went there, remember?
38:21We went to the place where it happened.
38:25Still, it is remarkable how much she was able to reconstruct based on them.
38:31A handful of pictures.
38:33That is what great writers do, they take fragments of reality and weave them together in such a way that they reveal a greater truth.
38:48Sit down.
38:49Sit down.
38:49Sit down.
38:49Yes.
38:53It is truly remarkable how your wife was able to write so convincingly about so many things without having been there when they happened.
39:04She was remarkable.
39:06She was remarkable.
39:08Now I can start.
39:28It's time for my voice to be heard.
39:47Musik
40:17Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
40:47Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
41:17Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
41:47Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
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