Good Girls Gone Wild ReelShort
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#shortfilm #reelshort #dramabox #short #kalostv #shortdrama #fyp #film #shortmax #tv #movie #movies #reelshorts
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Oh, Dad.
00:00:30Hello?
00:00:32Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:36I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:40So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip to...
00:00:44Me too. Um, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:48Um, I think I'm gonna spend my birthday with Jake.
00:00:51Uh, I'm gonna lose my virginity to him. You know, I wanna surprise him.
00:00:56What? But you can't. I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:01Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:03You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:06This is bad. You know, I'm gonna tell Lexi. She's gonna be very unhappy about this.
00:01:18Come on, Lexi.
00:01:26So, girls, what are we gonna do for our birthday?
00:01:36Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:40But this is the big 1-8.
00:01:42I mean, every year since her mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:01:46But this has to be newer and more special.
00:01:49So what's something we've never done before?
00:01:51Mushrooms?
00:01:53No, not like that. Like something nice.
00:01:56Like maybe a trip.
00:01:58Like a mushroom trip?
00:01:59No.
00:02:02Sorry, Sue. I have a date.
00:02:04So do I.
00:02:06Sorry, Sue.
00:02:07Don't worry, Sue. We'll figure it out.
00:02:10Oh, flowers, are these from you?
00:02:23Yeah, sure.
00:02:25Here you go.
00:02:27No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:29I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:32I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:02:37Oh, Jake.
00:02:42Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:45Uh, no, Jake. Not yet.
00:02:47When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:02:49The best night of my life.
00:02:51It will be. I promise.
00:02:53It'll always be amazing.
00:02:55With you and me. Together.
00:02:58Jake, no. I have to go. I have to work on my art project.
00:03:09You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:12but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:15Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:18This Saturday?
00:03:19Of course.
00:03:21Thanks.
00:03:26Okay. Bye.
00:03:36Nothing wrong with the nothing.
00:03:38Oh, baby. You're so hot.
00:03:40I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:42Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:43Yeah.
00:03:44What was your name again?
00:03:45Rod.
00:03:46Sex God.
00:03:47Lexi is so upset she's speechless.
00:03:53You're right, I bet.
00:04:02Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:05Oh, no.
00:04:06Does not compute.
00:04:08Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:14Oh, huh.
00:04:15Hi.
00:04:18When did you get home?
00:04:19So is it true?
00:04:20Yes, it is.
00:04:22It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:26I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy,
00:04:31and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:33So I just think it's the right time.
00:04:36Lexi, tell her.
00:04:37Losing our virginity is one of those milestones
00:04:39we should all face together.
00:04:41On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:43Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday.
00:04:45Or maybe even, like, our 28th.
00:04:49Maybe.
00:04:51Listen, guys.
00:04:52I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:04:58I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:02But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:09We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:12Oh, does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:16It's not Jake.
00:05:18It's the male ideal.
00:05:20Like a Greek god or Sue's dad.
00:05:24Right.
00:05:25Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:27I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:05:29I'm not really an artist.
00:05:30Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:32The point is, we should all lose our virginities together
00:05:35on the same day.
00:05:36And I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:38I'm waiting for a sign.
00:05:40And then I'll know it's right.
00:05:41Look, I can go either way.
00:05:43I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:05:48I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:05:51Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:05:54But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:05:59You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:06Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:09To church to pray for you.
00:06:11I want to be first in line.
00:06:13I'm getting some sleep.
00:06:15Yeah, me too.
00:06:18Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:27It has been four days since my last confession.
00:06:29I accused myself of the following sins.
00:06:31Mm-hmm.
00:06:33Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this,
00:06:36but it's about sex.
00:06:39Mm-hmm.
00:06:41I mean, not me.
00:06:43I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:45Mm-hmm.
00:06:47I've never even seen a guy's...
00:06:49Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:06:52But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:06:56But there was nothing there.
00:06:58Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:02My best friends.
00:07:04They're gonna do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:07Okay.
00:07:08Third base.
00:07:10What?
00:07:11No.
00:07:12Like, sex.
00:07:13Like, intercourse?
00:07:15With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:16I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:07:18If you know what I mean.
00:07:19All the way.
00:07:20Go all the way.
00:07:21Go all the way.
00:07:22What do you...
00:07:23What?
00:07:24Ah!
00:07:25Ah!
00:07:26Ah!
00:07:27How could you do so?
00:07:29You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:32What?
00:07:34Yes!
00:07:35Yes!
00:07:36Run!
00:07:37Run!
00:07:38Run!
00:07:39Home route!
00:07:40Ah!
00:07:41Damn it!
00:07:42You fucking Yankees!
00:07:43Sorry.
00:07:44Ah!
00:07:45Ah!
00:07:46Ah!
00:07:47Ah!
00:07:48Ah!
00:07:49Ah!
00:07:50Ah!
00:07:51Ah!
00:07:52Ah!
00:07:53Ah!
00:07:54Ah!
00:07:55Ah!
00:07:56Ah!
00:07:57Ah!
00:07:58Ah!
00:07:59Ah!
00:08:00Ah!
00:08:01Ah!
00:08:02Ah!
00:08:03Ah!
00:08:04Ah!
00:08:05Ah!
00:08:06Ah!
00:08:07Ah!
00:08:08Ah!
00:08:09Ah!
00:08:10Ah!
00:08:11Ah!
00:08:12Ah!
00:08:13Ah!
00:08:14Sue!
00:08:15It is 1 p.m.
00:08:17Would you have a little consideration?
00:08:18I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:20Jeez.
00:08:21Can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:23I have an announcement to make.
00:08:26I wanna do it.
00:08:28Do you hear me?
00:08:29I wanna do it.
00:08:31This weekend.
00:08:32On our birthday.
00:08:33Do what?
00:08:35It.
00:08:36Screw.
00:08:37Screw.
00:08:38Screw.
00:08:39Screwing.
00:08:40Boning.
00:08:41Making the beast with two backs.
00:08:42You know.
00:08:43Shagging.
00:08:44Fucking.
00:08:46You do.
00:08:47Uh.
00:08:48But what about all your religious stuff?
00:08:50And um.
00:08:51What about your sign from heaven?
00:08:52Oh.
00:08:53I got a sign.
00:08:54At church.
00:08:55Really?
00:08:56Well.
00:08:57Okay.
00:08:58Great.
00:08:59We're all in then.
00:09:01So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.
00:09:04Right?
00:09:06Right.
00:09:07Frank.
00:09:08I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:09Hey Frank.
00:09:10Hi Sue.
00:09:11Guys we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:12I don't know.
00:09:13Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:14Yeah.
00:09:15He's blind.
00:09:16Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:17Wait.
00:09:18Wait.
00:09:19Wait.
00:09:20Wait.
00:09:21Bye.
00:09:22Hey.
00:09:23Um.
00:09:24I was wondering.
00:09:25We're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:26It's for our birthday.
00:09:27Do you want to come?
00:09:28Do you think he can see up my shirt?
00:09:29Well the house looks so nice and lovely.
00:09:30Yeah.
00:09:31No.
00:09:32Look at the malls.
00:09:33I'm sorry.
00:09:34No.
00:09:35I'm sorry.
00:09:36No.
00:09:37No.
00:09:38No.
00:09:39No.
00:09:40No.
00:09:41No.
00:09:42No.
00:09:43No.
00:09:44No.
00:09:45No.
00:09:46No.
00:09:47No.
00:09:49No.
00:09:50No.
00:09:52No.
00:09:53No.
00:09:55No.
00:09:56No.
00:09:57No.
00:09:58Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:00We finally turn 18 and finally lose our virginity.
00:10:04Well, we better get our beady sleep,
00:10:05because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:07So, OK, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with, Jake,
00:10:11and I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:10:13But, Sue, who are you going to pick to pop your chair?
00:10:16It's easy.
00:10:17I've known for the past six years, ever since catechism.
00:10:22What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:24I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:26Oh, my soulmate.
00:10:36Chris?
00:10:38Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:42I mean, what?
00:10:43No, Chris is perfect.
00:10:44He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:10:47Plus, his name's Chris.
00:10:49It's a sign.
00:10:50Sue, the only sign is that Chris has no back up.
00:10:54The only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:10:58What?
00:10:59He does not.
00:11:00Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:02He looks just like Justin Bieber, with a little bit of Zac Efron
00:11:06and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:08Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:11Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:13OK, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:16See you in the morning.
00:11:24I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:25I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:27Soon.
00:11:28You're so perfect.
00:11:58You're so perfect.
00:12:28You knew that's what I look like.
00:12:33Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:12:51Tomorrow's the day.
00:12:53Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:05Oh, my gosh.
00:13:23They're coming.
00:13:28Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:13:31Ew, why?
00:13:32It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:37It's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:39It's unministered.
00:13:40You're gonna die of asphyxiation.
00:13:42He's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:44It's stupid.
00:13:45Just screw him.
00:13:46That's what he wants.
00:13:47That's what all guys want.
00:13:48Who hurt you as a child?
00:13:50Oh, Christ.
00:13:51I don't have your mouth, too.
00:13:53Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:13:58You're an idiot.
00:13:59A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:14:03Guys, seriously, come on, hurry up.
00:14:09Oh, what a cool bracelet!
00:14:12I love it!
00:14:13Um...
00:14:14You should put that down, though, because it's, like, it's really...
00:14:17Very fragile.
00:14:18Very fragile.
00:14:19Yeah.
00:14:20Okay.
00:14:21Set it down.
00:14:22Hurry up.
00:14:23Come on, honey.
00:14:25Those were your anal beads, right?
00:14:26Yeah.
00:14:27I thought so.
00:14:28I'm just kidding.
00:14:29Mm-hmm.
00:14:30Um...
00:14:31Uh...
00:14:32Oh!
00:14:33I'm just trying to stop!
00:14:34Wow!
00:14:47Oh, Jesus!
00:14:48Whoa!
00:14:49Hold up.
00:14:50Oh, we're gonna have some fun.
00:14:52Oh, Attack of the Wet T-Shirts, nice!
00:14:54Nice.
00:15:04Happy birthday, Lex.
00:15:07Oh, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:10That is lip poison to plump your lips,
00:15:12but be careful it stings.
00:15:14And the other one is edible mishapha joy.
00:15:17Oh, how did you know?
00:15:19I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:15:24Bosses, what's your cutie?
00:15:28Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:30All right, sorry.
00:15:31Are you OK now?
00:15:32Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.
00:15:33OK, we'll see you later.
00:15:37I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:39This is crazy.
00:15:40Oh, wait, I got it.
00:15:41Jake!
00:15:42Hi!
00:15:43Hey, Ben.
00:15:44Happy birthday.
00:15:47Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:15:50What?
00:15:51You want a beer?
00:15:54No.
00:15:58Oh, hon.
00:15:59Come here.
00:16:03I have your present here.
00:16:05I'll give it to you later when the time's right.
00:16:07Aw.
00:16:08You didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:11And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:16Hey, Ralph, we need you to settle this bet over here
00:16:20real quick.
00:16:20We'll bet.
00:16:24All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:26Hey.
00:16:27Hey.
00:16:27How you doing?
00:16:28Good.
00:16:29Check it out!
00:16:31Dare me?
00:16:32Woo!
00:16:33Woo!
00:16:34Woo!
00:16:35Woo!
00:16:36Woo!
00:16:37Woo!
00:16:38Woo!
00:16:39Woo!
00:16:40Woo!
00:16:41Woo!
00:16:42Woo!
00:16:43Woo!
00:16:44Woo!
00:16:45Woo!
00:16:46Woo!
00:16:47Woo!
00:16:48Woo!
00:16:49Woo!
00:16:50Woo!
00:16:51Woo!
00:16:52Woo!
00:16:53Woo!
00:16:54Woo!
00:16:55Woo!
00:16:56Woo!
00:16:57Oh, dude, look at those!
00:16:58Are those real?
00:16:59I don't .
00:17:00Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:01Hey.
00:17:02Ah, dude, move!
00:17:02Are lame.
00:17:03Oh.
00:17:04All right.
00:17:05OK.
00:17:06I'll see you guys later.
00:17:07Go do some push-ups with something.
00:17:09Oh.
00:17:1020 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those
00:17:12kitties.
00:17:13Yeah.
00:17:14They're fake anyways.
00:17:16Who cares?
00:17:18Okay.
00:17:20Who cares?
00:17:21Oh, dude, dude.
00:17:23I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:28Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:17:30Here, let me.
00:17:31Joanna, no, just go enjoy the party.
00:17:33Come on.
00:17:35I win.
00:17:38Hey, do my lips look any flumper?
00:17:40I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:44Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:46I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:47It just, like, disappeared.
00:18:00Are these real?
00:18:01Of course they are.
00:18:04How come I haven't met you before?
00:18:06I don't know.
00:18:07Maybe he's going to be around.
00:18:08Have you seen Jake?
00:18:09Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:12Maybe upstairs.
00:18:13I don't know.
00:18:14Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.
00:18:17That's probably where he went.
00:18:19Go roll.
00:18:23Liquid courage?
00:18:24Yeah.
00:18:25Atta girl.
00:18:29Vodka cranberry?
00:18:30It's really simple.
00:18:33Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:35I can go meet a rod.
00:18:35Sue, are you okay?
00:18:39Sue, relax.
00:18:42They're just eyes.
00:18:44Okay, nothing to be scared of.
00:18:45Seriously.
00:18:46You're going to be fine.
00:18:47Is Chris here?
00:18:53Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:18:55No, he does not have gay face.
00:18:58I'm going to prove it to you.
00:18:59I'm going to do it.
00:19:06Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:09No, he does not have gay face.
00:19:12I'm going to prove it to you.
00:19:13I'm going to do it.
00:19:14I'm going to do this.
00:19:16Go back.
00:19:19Hey, you can do this.
00:19:21Just act like a slut.
00:19:22Just pretend you're Lex.
00:19:34Yeah, my favorite chapter is Sodom and Gomorrah.
00:19:38Chris.
00:19:39Hi.
00:19:40Can I talk to you?
00:19:42Uh-huh.
00:19:43Um, in private?
00:19:45No.
00:19:45No.
00:19:52Oh, hey, Lexi.
00:19:59Hey, Lexi.
00:20:00What?
00:20:01Chris.
00:20:03You're so sexy.
00:20:05Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just...
00:20:08I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:12And I really want to...
00:20:15Oh, what are you doing?
00:20:17Is that wrong?
00:20:18Sue, what's gotten into you?
00:20:20Nothing.
00:20:20I'm sorry.
00:20:21I don't know how to do this.
00:20:23Sue.
00:20:25Sue, Sue, Sue.
00:20:28I understand these urges.
00:20:32And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:36Really?
00:20:37You do?
00:20:37I do.
00:20:38I really do.
00:20:40I like you too.
00:20:42Really?
00:20:43You do?
00:20:44I do.
00:20:45I really do.
00:20:46It's just...
00:20:47I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:20:53Right.
00:20:54Lexi said you were...
00:20:55Jesus.
00:20:56Oh.
00:20:57That man.
00:20:58Of course.
00:20:59What did you think?
00:21:01Oh, nothing.
00:21:02So we can still do this then?
00:21:05Oh, Sue.
00:21:06Sue.
00:21:07You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about him up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth.
00:21:35Growing so hot, so sweaty, under that hot, hot sun.
00:21:42I just feel such compassion.
00:21:45I think about those things, too.
00:21:47So you understand why I can't do this?
00:21:51Not really.
00:21:52I just find it too hard.
00:21:54It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:22:01It's so...
00:22:04I'm going to go out there, right?
00:22:14Andy, we're going to tell you three months.
00:22:16Hey, hi.
00:22:17Whoa!
00:22:19Have you seen Jake?
00:22:20Uh, no.
00:22:21No.
00:22:22All right.
00:22:23Focus, focus, focus, focus.
00:22:34Oh, there he is.
00:22:38Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:22:40How could he?
00:22:54Sue, what happened?
00:22:59Did you guys do it?
00:23:01Sue?
00:23:02He doesn't want me.
00:23:04Because he's gay.
00:23:05No, he's not.
00:23:06He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:08Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:10The only reason you even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.
00:23:15Look, the only way you're going to find out what kind of man you really want is to know what kind of woman you really are.
00:23:23Deep inside.
00:23:24What?
00:23:25Come with me.
00:23:27Where?
00:23:28To meet your dark side.
00:23:35Out.
00:23:37Everyone out.
00:23:40Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face-to-face.
00:24:02I really can't.
00:24:03I really don't think I can do this.
00:24:06I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:10I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:16Sue?
00:24:17Can you see it?
00:24:20Sue?
00:24:24I'm almost...
00:24:25I'm almost there.
00:24:30Oh!
00:24:31What?
00:24:33What?
00:24:34Sue, what happened?
00:24:35What did you see?
00:24:36A raccoon?
00:24:38What?
00:24:40You overshot it.
00:24:41Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:49I can't.
00:24:50Please don't make me do that again.
00:24:52Okay, fine.
00:24:53Fine.
00:24:54I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:24:57What?
00:24:58You really need an orgasm.
00:25:01Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've never
00:25:05even had it with yourself.
00:25:06This really has to be your first step.
00:25:08Lex, I'm waiting.
00:25:10Coming.
00:25:11Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:25:13Just find it and use it.
00:25:16Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:25:17It's black.
00:25:19It vibrates.
00:25:21Come on, Rod.
00:25:23Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:26Don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:40Hey, cutie!
00:25:41Cutie!
00:25:41Oh!
00:25:46Boozeye!
00:25:48Oh, yeah!
00:25:51Bang.
00:25:53Bang.
00:25:53Bang.
00:25:54Bang.
00:25:56Good boy.
00:25:56Straighten up.
00:25:58Good boy.
00:25:59Good boy.
00:26:01He knows over a hundred commands.
00:26:04I'm sorry.
00:26:05I can't see anything.
00:26:06That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:08What a bitch.
00:26:09Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:26:12Oh, shit.
00:26:42What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:48Nice shot.
00:26:51Direct hit.
00:27:04Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:06Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:09He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:12For sure?
00:27:13I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him, so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:17That's no excuse.
00:27:19He's a dirtbag.
00:27:20How dare he?
00:27:21No, it's awful.
00:27:22I mean, I thought I was going to marry him.
00:27:30It's a text.
00:27:31It's from him.
00:27:32I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:33Okay.
00:27:35Uh, he's looking for you.
00:27:36He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:38Oh, I can't face him.
00:27:40Um, I have to go.
00:27:41I'm going.
00:27:42No, you can't just leave.
00:27:44Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:27:47I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:27:49No.
00:27:49He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:27:52Either way, it's bullshit.
00:27:54I see only one option.
00:27:55I'm leaving.
00:27:58Revenge sex.
00:27:59Re- I mean, what?
00:28:00What does that even mean?
00:28:01It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:08Revenge sex.
00:28:10Re- I mean, what?
00:28:11What does that even mean?
00:28:12It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:17But he- I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:28:19He doesn't even care about me.
00:28:20I mean, why would- he's just into other girls.
00:28:22Trust me, he'll care.
00:28:24Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to him.
00:28:27To his ego.
00:28:28Just screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:28:32Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:37No, I- I couldn't.
00:28:39Plus, I mean, there's- there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:28:43Eric!
00:28:44He's perfect!
00:28:45Eric Hall?
00:28:46Are you kidding?
00:28:47I mean, he wouldn't even be into me.
00:28:49He likes your type.
00:28:51Really?
00:28:51And what type is that?
00:28:53He's bloody.
00:28:55Yeah.
00:28:56Trust me, he's amazing.
00:28:57I fooled around with him once.
00:28:58He has this great tongue ring.
00:29:00Oh, no.
00:29:01I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.
00:29:04Okay, then.
00:29:05Fine.
00:29:05We will find someone else.
00:29:07Someone that I haven't fooled around with.
00:29:13Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him?
00:29:15I mean, that's- you're not gonna marry the guy.
00:29:18No, I just couldn't do it.
00:29:20Fine.
00:29:20If you want to live the rest of your life, knowing that you had one chance to do the right
00:29:24thing, to make your boyfriend feel like a total, worthless piece of garbage, and possibly
00:29:28even scar him with the rest of his existence, and you chose not to do it, go ahead.
00:29:33But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:37I don't know.
00:29:40But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:44I don't know.
00:29:45Well, trust me, it's going to work.
00:29:53I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:29:57Hi, Cheryl.
00:29:58You're okay enough to chat with your friends.
00:30:00Oh, no.
00:30:00Hey.
00:30:12Happy birthday.
00:30:16Thanks.
00:30:30Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:43So, happy birthday.
00:30:49Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain, but it's
00:30:53actually from us, U.S. America? United States?
00:31:00I know where we live.
00:31:01Right.
00:31:02Of course.
00:31:06I know where we live.
00:31:08Right.
00:31:09Of course.
00:31:14Hey, Jesus, Eric, are you going to make your move or not?
00:31:17Oh, you want me to move?
00:31:18Yeah, no, I can totally move.
00:31:19I just...
00:31:20No, you're fine.
00:31:23No, you're fine.
00:31:33Jake!
00:31:36So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:31:38Oh, I'm sorry.
00:31:40It?
00:31:41What, um...
00:31:42It.
00:31:43Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:31:49Oh!
00:31:50Oh, you mean, like, uh...
00:31:52Right now?
00:31:54I mean, well, yeah.
00:31:56You know, the sooner the better.
00:31:59Yeah, sure.
00:32:00I mean, well, yeah, of course.
00:32:01Um, I just never realized that you...
00:32:03I mean...
00:32:07It's just...
00:32:11You're so...
00:32:13You're so beautiful.
00:32:16Okay.
00:32:16Um...
00:32:17Uh, no kissing.
00:32:20Right.
00:32:21Um, of course.
00:32:23Sorry.
00:32:23Sorry.
00:32:23So, um...
00:32:27Do you want to unwrap me?
00:32:31Oh, wow.
00:32:31Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:32:36Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:38Yeah, uh, you're fresh.
00:32:42Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:44Yeah, uh, you're fresh.
00:32:47Organic.
00:32:48Yep.
00:32:48So, the wrap.
00:32:52Right.
00:32:53Um...
00:32:54Where's the, uh...
00:32:56It's, uh, the end is...
00:32:58I just, like, right over here.
00:32:58Oh, yeah, here it is.
00:32:59I see it.
00:33:01Let me just, uh...
00:33:02Got it.
00:33:03Uh...
00:33:04Ow, ow, ow.
00:33:05Sorry, sorry, sorry.
00:33:06I, um...
00:33:07It's...
00:33:07It's okay.
00:33:08Do it again.
00:33:11Sorry, I, uh...
00:33:12I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:33:14You know what?
00:33:15Let me just lay on the bed.
00:33:16Okay.
00:33:22Uh, let me just see.
00:33:26Oh, here it is.
00:33:27I got it.
00:33:28All right.
00:33:28Just, um, pull it.
00:33:30Let me just...
00:33:31Oh, jeez.
00:33:35Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:33:36Are you okay?
00:33:37Help me.
00:33:37Help.
00:33:38Uh...
00:33:39Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:33:44Oh, jeez.
00:33:45Well, that was stupid.
00:33:54Yeah.
00:33:59How you doing tonight?
00:34:02You having a good time?
00:34:03Yeah?
00:34:04You good?
00:34:04Jake!
00:34:05I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:34:08What?
00:34:09I can't hear you.
00:34:11I didn't have a beer.
00:34:13Chips are so damn salty.
00:34:14Jake!
00:34:14So, hey, we're...
00:34:15Upstairs.
00:34:17Yeah.
00:34:18Hold on.
00:34:19I take a piss.
00:34:20How much beer?
00:34:21Oh!
00:34:22Oh!
00:34:22Oh!
00:34:23Oh!
00:34:23Oh!
00:34:24Oh!
00:34:24Oh!
00:34:25Oh!
00:34:26Oh!
00:34:27Oh!
00:34:28Oh!
00:34:29Oh!
00:34:30Oh!
00:34:31Oh!
00:34:32Oh!
00:34:33Oh!
00:34:34Oh!
00:34:35Oh!
00:34:36Oh!
00:34:37Oh!
00:34:38Oh!
00:34:39Oh!
00:34:40Oh!
00:34:41Oh!
00:34:42Oh!
00:34:43Bye!
00:34:45Oh!
00:34:49Finally.
00:34:50Hehf.
00:34:51Hey, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:34:53Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
00:34:54Um!
00:34:55Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
00:34:56Don't, don't worry about it.
00:34:57What?
00:34:58I mean, I want US to be able to SEE each other.
00:35:02ょ.
00:35:03Well, OK.
00:35:04OK.
00:35:05Mm.
00:35:19Finally.
00:35:20I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:35:23Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:35:25Um, don't, don't worry about it.
00:35:27What?
00:35:28I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:32Oh, well, OK.
00:35:35OK.
00:35:36Mm.
00:36:02Oh, well, OK.
00:36:03Oh, well, OK.
00:36:05Oh, well, OK.
00:36:06Oh, well, OK.
00:36:07Oh, well, OK.
00:36:09Oh, well, OK.
00:36:12Oh, well, OK.
00:36:13Oh.
00:36:21What are you doing?
00:36:22Uh, I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:36:29Um, not yet.
00:36:31More foreplay.
00:36:32Huh?
00:36:33Oh.
00:36:39It's so good.
00:36:42Oh.
00:36:44Yep.
00:36:45Oh, my god.
00:36:46Jaw, jaw, jaw.
00:36:48What?
00:36:49What?
00:36:49Ah, ah, oh.
00:36:51Ah, yeah.
00:36:53Lock jaw, lock jaw.
00:36:54Is that even a thing?
00:36:56I don't know.
00:36:58Ah.
00:37:00Are you OK?
00:37:03No, no, no, no.
00:37:04It's, uh, it's fine.
00:37:06I'm just, uh, embarrassed.
00:37:08It's probably TMJ or fracture or swollen.
00:37:15Are you sure you're OK?
00:37:17Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:37:18OK, great.
00:37:19Have fun.
00:37:25Now, now, let's do it now.
00:37:27No, no, no, not yet.
00:37:27Not yet, not yet.
00:37:31I'm going to come.
00:37:32I'm going to come.
00:37:33Are you ready?
00:37:33No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:37:36No, no, no, not yet.
00:37:37Lexi, Lexi, oh, shh.
00:37:39Oh.
00:37:43No, no, no, not yet.
00:37:44Lexi, Lexi, oh, shh.
00:37:46Oh.
00:37:48No means no.
00:37:49Huh?
00:37:50Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:37:51I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:37:52It's been a really long time and I just, I haven't
00:37:54one masturbator or anything.
00:37:59Uh-oh.
00:38:02Oh, hey, Jake.
00:38:05How you doing?
00:38:07How's it going?
00:38:08Good.
00:38:09Eric?
00:38:10Come.
00:38:11Eric, help me.
00:38:12I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:38:14Excuse me.
00:38:18Cheryl's in here.
00:38:19What's up, bruh?
00:38:21What the fuck is this?
00:38:23Hey, wait.
00:38:24Lex, babe, I'm still waiting.
00:38:28Oh, I'm sorry, I can't see.
00:38:29I'm blind.
00:38:31Damn it.
00:38:32I'm going to say something to that bitch.
00:38:35Hey, you.
00:38:38Oh, I'm sorry, I can't see.
00:38:40I'm blind.
00:38:43Damn it.
00:38:44I'm going to say something to that bitch.
00:38:47Hey, you.
00:38:49You better stop making fun of the blind or I'm
00:38:51going to teach you a lesson.
00:38:55I'm so sorry.
00:38:57I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:39:19Oh, man, no more water balloons.
00:39:25This party's ass.
00:39:29Yeah!
00:39:33This just isn't working.
00:39:36Nothing.
00:39:37What's the big deal about these vibrators anyway?
00:39:42I'm careful, man.
00:39:43The life sticks.
00:39:45Spark it up.
00:39:46Yes!
00:39:49Oh, man, I love this game.
00:39:52We're in the controllers.
00:39:53Here, here, here, here.
00:39:55Okay, let me find another one.
00:39:59Whoa!
00:40:01Look at this!
00:40:04Fuel, fuel, fuel!
00:40:06Get that thing away, Jesus!
00:40:15Hey, dude, nice shot.
00:40:17Was it me?
00:40:19Whoa, whoa, nice!
00:40:25Are you sitting there or something?
00:40:29Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:40:30Nice, nice!
00:40:43Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:44Hey, you found the controller.
00:40:55Whoa!
00:40:57You are the controller.
00:40:59No, I just...
00:41:00I didn't...
00:41:01I swear...
00:41:02Hey, yeah.
00:41:03You all right.
00:41:03You're all right.
00:41:11All right.
00:41:12Hey, hey, Sue.
00:41:13You know, don't leave.
00:41:14Don't leave.
00:41:14Hey, Sue!
00:41:14Don't leave.
00:41:14No, it's okay.
00:41:15What you going, man?
00:41:16What you doing, man?
00:41:19It's okay.
00:41:20Um...
00:41:20Hey, Sue!
00:41:20Hey, Sue.
00:41:31Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:41:33Yeah, I just needed to...
00:41:35Oh, sure.
00:41:38Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:41:43You were?
00:41:45You mean...
00:41:47Yeah.
00:41:50So you think we should give it a try?
00:41:54Could we go get a drink?
00:41:58Wow, um, your toilet's really...
00:42:01Do you know what? I gotta go.
00:42:05Um, happy birthday.
00:42:06No, Chris, no, there wasn't... I didn't...
00:42:09Oh, God, never mind.
00:42:20This was the worst idea ever.
00:42:25Never going to have sex.
00:42:27Ow.
00:42:27Hello? A little attention here.
00:42:50Oh, yeah. Sorry.
00:42:51Lex, don't be selfish.
00:42:58Oh, right. Sorry.
00:43:00All right.
00:43:12Jeez.
00:43:14Who invented this stupid position, anyway?
00:43:17Too much fucking multitasking.
00:43:19Screw it.
00:43:42Oh, my God.
00:43:42What?
00:43:43No, that was bad.
00:44:03That was so bad.
00:44:13Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:22I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:27Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:44:31Yes, it does.
00:44:33So, you're JJ?
00:44:34Uh-oh.
00:44:43Hello, welcome to 1900 Confess.
00:45:00Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:45:02A nun.
00:45:03Please punch in your credit card number.
00:45:10Please hold.
00:45:11Oh, thank goodness.
00:45:131-900 Confession.
00:45:17How may I be of service?
00:45:19It's been one day since my last confession.
00:45:21I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:23One day.
00:45:26Ow!
00:45:31Is that too long?
00:45:32I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:35Go on.
00:45:37Uh, okay.
00:45:38Well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:45:40Well, actually, I didn't.
00:45:42A washing machine did.
00:45:43What's her problem?
00:45:45A washing machine touched her.
00:45:48Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine, and, well.
00:45:51All right, freak.
00:45:52Time's up.
00:45:53What?
00:45:54But what do I do?
00:45:55Just unplug the thing.
00:45:56No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:46:00Well, then be happy you found the perfect man.
00:46:03I'm serious.
00:46:04Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so I'll tell you this.
00:46:10Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:13No contritions?
00:46:14You broke no covenant with God.
00:46:17It's not in the Bible.
00:46:19So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:46:22Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:25Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:46:28Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:30Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:33Huh.
00:46:33God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:36He sure is.
00:46:37Now run along.
00:46:41Wow.
00:46:42How do you know all that?
00:46:44Because I'm a nun.
00:46:46Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:46:49Huh.
00:46:49Accidental masturbation.
00:46:51Who would have thought?
00:46:52Revenge sex.
00:47:02What a stupid fucking idea.
00:47:04God, I'm getting out of here.
00:47:08Yeah, admit it.
00:47:09I've got no game.
00:47:11I guess I can scare you.
00:47:12I guess I'm a beautiful man.
00:47:17Fucking douchebag.
00:47:19Damn it.
00:47:20I know I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:24You go, girl.
00:47:26What?
00:47:28What are you doing here?
00:47:30We needed someplace private.
00:47:32But hey, listen.
00:47:33If you're serious about getting laid.
00:47:35Yeah?
00:47:36If you want someone great.
00:47:37I mean, really, the best ever.
00:47:41No offense.
00:47:43Frank, the blind guy.
00:47:45Really?
00:47:46I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:49I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:47:52It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:47:55It was like, we used all our senses.
00:47:57Everything.
00:48:00If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:48:04All right.
00:48:04What about him?
00:48:12Jeremy.
00:48:13Oh, yeah.
00:48:14I know Jeremy.
00:48:15Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:18I didn't know his last name, though.
00:48:20It's Jones.
00:48:22Jeremy Jones.
00:48:23This all makes sense.
00:48:25Excuse me.
00:48:27Jeremy.
00:48:29Hi.
00:48:29Hey.
00:48:30Who's on the phone?
00:48:31Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:33You'll meet her.
00:48:34It'll be here in like, an hour.
00:48:36Wait.
00:48:36You have a girlfriend?
00:48:50Oh.
00:48:51Hi, Frank.
00:48:53Sit.
00:48:53Oh, you meant, you meant the dog.
00:49:02Relax.
00:49:04You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:15Oh, I'm, I'm relaxed.
00:49:17I'm fine.
00:49:18And why are you biting your nail?
00:49:19I'm not.
00:49:23How did you know that?
00:49:27Corner.
00:49:31Sit.
00:49:33Roll over.
00:49:37Oh, you mean me.
00:49:41Roll over.
00:49:44Oh, you mean me.
00:49:46Oh, how do you, how do you want me to.
00:49:49Just lay down.
00:49:50You want me, I.
00:50:01Oh.
00:50:02Oh.
00:50:02I shouldn't even be doing this, but.
00:50:05Considering it a teachable moment.
00:50:07Okay.
00:50:11Oh.
00:50:14See me with your hands.
00:50:15All right.
00:50:20Uh.
00:50:27You know, I should really, I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:30Really.
00:50:34Oh.
00:50:43Mmm, peanut butter.
00:50:45Frank.
00:50:59Frank.
00:50:59Frank.
00:51:00Oh.
00:51:03Oh, Frank.
00:51:05Ha.
00:51:05Yo, man, give me a chip.
00:51:31My chips, homeboy.
00:51:32Yo, give me a chip, man.
00:51:34My chips.
00:51:35Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:51:43Sorry.
00:51:51It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:51:54That's all.
00:51:58No, let me do this.
00:52:00Go ahead.
00:52:00I got it.
00:52:01No, really, please.
00:52:02I want to help.
00:52:03Okay, everybody out.
00:52:08Leave.
00:52:09I have to back you.
00:52:10I have to back you.
00:52:12You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:24They're over here.
00:52:26I see some dust over here.
00:52:29So, it's just so much dust on this floor.
00:52:35It's a dirty floor.
00:52:37Such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:52:41I think I got all of that.
00:52:55I'm just going to see you.
00:52:59Okay.
00:52:59I think I got all of that.
00:53:05I'm just going to see you.
00:53:15Frankie.
00:53:17Oh, my.
00:53:18What was that?
00:53:19What?
00:53:20Oh, fucking shit.
00:53:23Man, we got to smoke.
00:53:23Oh, we can smoke in here.
00:53:27Stop.
00:53:28Frank, stop teasing Frank.
00:53:30Oh, shit.
00:53:31Oh, sorry, man.
00:53:33We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:53:35Oh, I heard something.
00:53:36You want to join us?
00:53:37Uh, no, I might.
00:53:38Come on, you got to do it.
00:53:40Come on.
00:53:41Seriously, guys, I need to go back.
00:53:42What's up, man?
00:53:43Dude, what's like being blinded?
00:53:44It's tripping.
00:53:49Frank?
00:53:51Frank, are we going to do something soon?
00:53:55Bro, you are too funny.
00:53:59Thanks, man.
00:54:00Oh, this is some good stuff.
00:54:02I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:54:03Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
00:54:06Wait, wait, wait.
00:54:07I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
00:54:12Damn, I really can't remember.
00:54:13This is some good shit.
00:54:32Oh, no.
00:54:34You're the devil.
00:54:35No more.
00:54:36JJ, Jeremy, you have to remember that amazing time
00:54:43we had together, don't you?
00:54:45Please.
00:54:46Lex, I can't.
00:54:49I mean, I got a girlfriend.
00:54:50I really like this girl.
00:54:52Fine.
00:54:52It's just so sad, because I'm wearing this coupless bra, and I also have on crotchless panties with just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
00:55:06We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.
00:55:13Perfect.
00:55:14Perfect.
00:55:18Before she gets here.
00:55:19Perfect.
00:55:20Let's do it.
00:55:33Fuck me.
00:55:33Fuck me now.
00:55:38What?
00:55:39What's wrong?
00:55:40I can't, I can't get it in.
00:55:42Just try down there.
00:55:44It's a desert down there.
00:55:46It's sandpaper.
00:55:47I just, okay, I get the picture.
00:55:49Like.
00:55:50Just try it again.
00:55:53No.
00:55:54Why is this happening?
00:55:55We fooled around before.
00:55:57I, I was dripping wet.
00:55:59I came like four times, remember?
00:56:00Just do what you did then.
00:56:02Go on.
00:56:03I already did my thing.
00:56:04I already tried.
00:56:05What?
00:56:06What?
00:56:07What?
00:56:08What is different this time?
00:56:09I don't know.
00:56:11Last time, I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
00:56:17What?
00:56:18You're not JJ?
00:56:20But your name is Jeremy Jones.
00:56:22How can you not be JJ?
00:56:24Who the hell is this JJ?
00:56:27Where are you going?
00:56:29We're not done here.
00:56:30I can still do this.
00:56:31I just need a little bit of fork.
00:56:32What?
00:56:33I can do this.
00:56:34I don't need JJ.
00:56:35I don't need anyone else.
00:56:36We can do this.
00:56:37Go team.
00:56:38What?
00:56:39Just keep going.
00:56:40Oh.
00:56:41Oh.
00:56:42Oh.
00:56:43Oh.
00:56:44Oh.
00:56:45Oh.
00:56:46Oh.
00:56:47Oh.
00:56:48Oh.
00:56:49Oh.
00:56:50Oh.
00:56:51Oh.
00:56:52Oh.
00:56:53Oh.
00:56:54Oh.
00:56:55Oh.
00:56:56Oh.
00:56:57Oh.
00:56:58Oh.
00:56:59Oh.
00:57:00Oh.
00:57:01Oh.
00:57:02Oh.
00:57:03Oh.
00:57:04Oh.
00:57:05Oh.
00:57:06We were just, you know.
00:57:07Oh.
00:57:08Hey babe.
00:57:09Just working out.
00:57:12How could you you bastard?
00:57:14You might want to.
00:57:19What?
00:57:21What?
00:57:22Ah! Mariela! Mariela!
00:57:28You know, those aren't mine! At least not all of them.
00:57:33What is wrong with you?
00:57:38What is wrong with you?
00:57:41It used to be so pure.
00:57:43Well, no more. That's it.
00:57:45Really, that's the last one.
00:57:52What is wrong with you?
00:57:55What is wrong with you?
00:57:58Come on.
00:58:16Cheryl?
00:58:18What is it? What are you doing down here?
00:58:24Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here?
00:58:28What?
00:58:29Why?
00:58:30Nothing. Just this blind guy and his dog and...
00:58:34Honey, it's gonna be okay.
00:58:37No, it's not okay.
00:58:39God. And you know whose fault it is?
00:58:42I'm sorry.
00:58:43It's Jake's. Jake's fault. That blind cheating bastard.
00:58:48Yes. He is such a dickwad. You need to confront him.
00:58:52Yeah. Yeah, I need to confront him. I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway? Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
00:58:59You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
00:59:02Yeah, big piece. A big old chunk of my mind. A big piece of it.
00:59:07Yeah. You know, you might want to...
00:59:11You need to look hot while you break up with him.
00:59:13Yeah, you're right.
00:59:15Why am I wearing a sheet?
00:59:16I don't know.
00:59:23I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:59:26I get shy around beautiful women like you.
00:59:28Yeah.
00:59:31I got no game.
00:59:38It's not important.
00:59:51Hey, um...
00:59:52Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:53No, no, no. I really need to talk to you.
00:59:55Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...
00:59:58No, no, no. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier.
01:00:01And I'm just embarrassed and I want to make it up to you.
01:00:04Eric, really? I don't care. It's fine.
01:00:07No, but I do. I mean, I do. I care.
01:00:12I haven't known how to tell you.
01:00:14Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:00:16But I was wondering or hoping that we could go out sometime.
01:00:23Soon.
01:00:24Because I'm going to be leaving for a little while
01:00:26and it would be nice to go out.
01:00:27Really?
01:00:28Eric, you're shy. You have no game.
01:00:32No, not really.
01:00:35Yeah, no, I can't do this. Sorry.
01:00:37Okay.
01:00:41Okay. All right.
01:00:43I, uh...
01:00:46Happy birthday, then.
01:00:58Oh, I'm sorry. I was trying to kiss you.
01:01:00Here I come, baby. Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:26Oh, Eric, stop. Um, we can't do this.
01:01:29Oh, God damn it. Not again.
01:01:31Oh, no, um...
01:01:32Honey, happy...
01:01:35What the fuck is this?
01:01:37Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:38Okay, guys, don't.
01:01:43Cheryl.
01:01:44Baby.
01:01:45What is this?
01:01:47Aw, gee, Cheryl.
01:01:49You're...
01:01:50I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:01:53Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:55You couldn't find me?
01:01:56Oh, what about all those girls' vaginas you were in
01:01:59or your penis getting sucked?
01:02:02Cheryl, honey.
01:02:03No, no.
01:02:04We can work this out.
01:02:05Baby, I love you.
01:02:06Jake, no, you have to go.
01:02:07Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:02:09No.
01:02:10I promise.
01:02:11No, Jake, I can't do this. I'm sorry.
01:02:13Cheryl, come on.
01:02:14No, Jake, please.
01:02:15Oh, please, baby, come on.
01:02:16Just go. I'm sorry.
01:02:18You're a harmless bitch!
01:02:19How can you do it?
01:02:21Yay!
01:02:22You did it.
01:02:23I am so proud of you.
01:02:24You got your revenge sex.
01:02:25You left him a mere shell of a man.
01:02:27Revenge sex?
01:02:30It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:33Right.
01:02:35It all makes sense now.
01:02:38Wow, I feel really stupid.
01:02:41Eric, I'm really... I'm really sorry.
01:02:44Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:02:46And he used me.
01:02:49Eric, please don't go.
01:02:50Please, Eric!
01:02:53Aren't you happy?
01:02:55Well, no.
01:02:56That's not exactly what I was supposed to feel like.
01:02:59You mean the sex?
01:03:00Was it?
01:03:01Yeah?
01:03:02No, he didn't quite do it.
01:03:03Oh.
01:03:04You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:03:06Really?
01:03:07I just never found the right guy.
01:03:08Or guys.
01:03:10Anyway, we better get downstairs.
01:03:12People are starting to leave.
01:03:14I wonder how Sue did.
01:03:16I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:03:27This is bullshit!
01:03:29God!
01:03:30Oh!
01:03:31Oh!
01:03:32Dude, suck it!
01:03:33What the?
01:03:35God, I'm out of here!
01:03:37Yeah!
01:03:38He has good hair, though.
01:03:39I can't hear that.
01:03:43Don't you puke on me.
01:03:45Don't puke in my car, either.
01:03:47Right, said Frank, that I might need a vacation.
01:03:52Vacation, vacation.
01:03:55Take this information through your head.
01:03:59Oh, Sue, are you all right?
01:04:02Was it from sex?
01:04:04Did you pop your cork?
01:04:05I don't think so.
01:04:06Not with the guy, anyway.
01:04:08Oh, don't ask.
01:04:10Every possible object.
01:04:12It's like every mechanical thing.
01:04:14It was like transformers.
01:04:16They just all became vibrators.
01:04:18I told you.
01:04:20It's addicting.
01:04:22So what about Chris?
01:04:24Well, last time I saw him, he was running away through your life.
01:04:26I told you he was gay.
01:04:28Well, I think I'm just all cramp.
01:04:33Oh, I think it's broken.
01:04:35So wait.
01:04:37None of us cashed an RV card.
01:04:40Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:46So I was gonna go grab some food.
01:04:48Wanna go?
01:04:49No.
01:04:51I think I should finish up here.
01:04:53Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:55No.
01:04:57I don't know.
01:04:58For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:05:01Or something.
01:05:03Why, do you know him?
01:05:05Sort of.
01:05:06Oh.
01:05:07Well, hey, if you happen to run into him, just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:05:10Leave everything inside.
01:05:16Love him.
01:05:17Shut it.
01:05:18You wanna do it with him?
01:05:19I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:05:20You wanna get married?
01:05:21You wanna do it with him?
01:05:22All right, all right, all right.
01:05:23You wanna do it with him?
01:05:24I just wanna do it with him.
01:05:25Okay, I'm so sorry.
01:05:26I'm so sorry.
01:05:27No.
01:05:28No.
01:05:29No, no way.
01:05:59Oh well, there's always next year.
01:06:29It's you.
01:06:31I've been waiting for you, JJ.
01:06:37Joanna.
01:06:59And when the heat is on, you'll never take it away.
01:07:24And when the heat is on, you'll never take it away.
01:07:33And when the heat is on, you'll never take it away.
01:07:37Wow.
01:07:39That's amazing.
01:07:42Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me.
01:07:44I guess something inspired me.
01:07:48He really captured his expression and his eyes.
01:07:51Yeah, even that little calick he has in his hair.
01:07:56Who's?
01:07:57Eric's.
01:07:58Well, it's him, right?
01:08:01Oh.
01:08:04Yeah.
01:08:06I have to go see him.
01:08:11Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:08:13Mm.
01:08:211-900 confess.
01:08:26Sister Terese?
01:08:28Yeah, hon.
01:08:30There was a problem with your credit card.
01:08:31I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:08:34Oh, sure.
01:08:35Oh.
01:08:36It's 271.
01:08:39Sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:08:43Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you, like take you back?
01:08:49Sure, hon.
01:08:50Why not?
01:08:52As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:54Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:08:57I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:09:01Something to let me know that it's all going to be OK.
01:09:05Sister, can I get up now?
01:09:08I really got to pee.
01:09:09No, hush your trap.
01:09:13OK, honey, I really need to get back to work, but call back anytime.
01:09:17I will.
01:09:19Thanks.
01:09:22Sister?
01:09:23Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:09:26Eric, wait!
01:09:43Cheryl?
01:09:44Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:46Cheryl?
01:09:48Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:54I was trying to have revenge sex with you at the beginning,
01:09:57but then at the end, I wasn't.
01:10:00I just didn't want to do that with you, the revenge part,
01:10:04not the sex part.
01:10:07I do want to go out with you.
01:10:11And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:10:14I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is,
01:10:16and he's all over these pink hair.
01:10:17Eric.
01:10:20Come on, I got to get going.
01:10:22Oh, wow.
01:10:24Cheryl, this is my sister Tina.
01:10:26Tina, Cheryl.
01:10:29Hi, nice to meet you.
01:10:34So do you mind if I call you in a few days when I get back?
01:10:40Yeah, sure.
01:10:44Oh, sorry.
01:10:48No kissing, right?
01:10:49No, kissing.
01:10:50Oh.
01:10:51Mm.
01:10:52Mm.
01:10:53Mm.
01:10:54Hey, did you ever get those flowers I sent you?
01:11:09I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:11:14Wait, what?
01:11:15I never did that.
01:11:17I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:11:19She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:11:21Oh.
01:11:26She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:11:29I wonder who it was.
01:11:30At least this birthday's over.
01:11:50Birthday's over.
01:12:02Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:12:05I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like send me a sign.
01:12:20Excuse me, excuse me.
01:12:42Do you know where the church is?
01:12:43It's on Fountain Street.
01:12:46Um, yeah, that's the church I go to.
01:12:48Or used to go to.
01:12:49Um, it's straight up that way and then left.
01:12:55You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:12:58Oh, well, I don't know.
01:13:06Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:13:09Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:13:14Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:13:16I don't think so.
01:13:20But thanks.
01:13:21What's your name?
01:13:22Sue.
01:13:23What's yours?
01:13:25Jesus.
01:13:26Really?
01:13:28Si.
01:13:31Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:32Oh, yeah.
01:13:49, bye.
01:13:55I don't think so much.
01:13:57What'sÅ™ Millionen?
01:13:58I don't think so much for the reason.
01:13:58I don't think so.
01:13:59I don't know.
01:14:00I don't know.
01:14:00Bye-bye.
01:14:01Not list of minutes.