- 12/06/2025
The Jeremy Kyle Show - 23rd January 2019
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00:00You're watching On Demand. Please check the closing time before trying to vote or enter any competition or other interactivity in this programme, as it may not count and you may still be charged.
00:10On today's show, you have full custody of Oliver, your two-year-old in the ex-nome.
00:15She needs to know that she's not been a good mother, she's not been a good person.
00:18She's assaulted you, hasn't she?
00:19Yeah, a couple of times, yeah. She tried to get rid of him all the time, saying that she was going to bother him and she wanted him and she won it.
00:25I've tried a couple of times to have relationships and the homies drove us apart, constable, and anywhere possible, shape or form.
00:32And every time it's got more extreme, it's now gone to death right.
00:36He makes that he's an amazing dad, but let's be honest, he spends most of the time smoking weed around our side.
00:42Every time you get a girlfriend, I'll go for months and months and not see him as drunk for what? For no reason.
00:47Two weeks ago today, Naomi, you turned up to naturally to pick him up.
00:49No, what happened?
00:50Drunk? Drunk?
00:52Go on, James, can you pick him up?
00:53You're lying.
00:55You say it's almost like she makes an argument so she can disappear.
01:00You know what, I'll give her everything, be the person I want to be, but at the minute, my body and my mind won't let me do it.
01:07Lonely.
01:08We asked Debbie since the start of your relationship with Stephen, have you had sexual intercourse with anyone else?
01:12You said no. Why did you say no?
01:13Let's have a time on the train.
01:14Good morning, my friends. Good morning and a big, big welcome to the show.
01:35All right, our first guest today, Matthew, is here to confront his ex-girlfriend, Naomi, who he says has been the ultimate absent mum.
01:42Matthew says he's got full custody of their son because Naomi is more interested in men drinking and drugs.
01:48He says she ain't getting down access at all ever.
01:52Matthew is on the Jeremy Kyle show that way.
01:54Strong words.
02:03Yep.
02:04You probably found an ally in me because we live in a world where apparently many people will say that a father is not as important or as good as a mother.
02:14But you have full custody of Oliver. You're two-year-old from your ex, Naomi. Tell me the story. How did you meet? Facebook.
02:20No, it was at a party.
02:21Nice.
02:21Yeah.
02:22Love at first sight?
02:23No. It was at first. She was a different person completely. I thought she was a nice person, obviously not putting out straight away.
02:31Putting out?
02:31Yeah, like sex on the first day sort of thing.
02:34And then things just took a really wild turn. We kept trying to rekindle things. She lied a lot.
02:41Baby planned?
02:41No. A bit all unplanned. She tried to get rid of him all the time, saying that she was going to abort him, then she wanted him, then she won't.
02:50She's on this show saying, I'm not allowed custody to my kid by this control freak manipulative bully, and she wanted to abort the kid.
02:57When Oliver was born, and he came to live with me in November 2016, a name got mentioned that it could have been somebody else's.
03:04Right on top of Christmas, we had to do a DNA test.
03:06Turned out he was mine, and now she's trying to use that against me, saying that she's not seen these results.
03:10And she's seen him.
03:12You say that she had massive issues with drink and drugs. What?
03:16Yeah, definitely. She's always drinking.
03:18Six months, I had Oliver in my care. She was still getting all full money for him.
03:21I was on single-person money, which was not a lot.
03:24Never gave me milk or anything for him.
03:26I didn't get nothing. I was struggling.
03:28Isn't it true that you've had to look after his son and give her money, and even try and encourage in the early days her to have something to do with him?
03:34That's the truth, isn't it?
03:35Yeah.
03:36Why are you here?
03:37To stop her from seeing him. No, I've had enough. Two years has been too long, and she's not changing.
03:40Does he know her?
03:41He does know her, yeah. She has had contact. We've been through courts a lot of times, social involvement.
03:46And, yeah, it's just got to that point now where I'm at.
03:50It would be fair to say that for you to come here today was a big thing.
03:55There were times last night I think you were going to drop, because why? Nervous?
03:59Yeah.
04:00Yeah, a lot of nerves.
04:02Because I didn't want to publicise my life on TV.
04:04I didn't...
04:05Why did you decide to, then?
04:06Because she needs to hear it.
04:08Hear what?
04:08She needs to know that she's not been a good mother, and she's not been a good person.
04:12She's assaulted you, hasn't she?
04:13A couple of times, yeah.
04:14Harassed you?
04:15Harassed me.
04:15Because you're a bloke, that's just going to be swept under the carpet.
04:19You, by the courts, are given full custody of this kid.
04:21This kid is two years of age.
04:21That presumably says an awful lot about your parenting skills.
04:25Yeah.
04:27Is it the new relationship?
04:29Who's your new girlfriend?
04:30Kim.
04:31Yeah, she can't be on the show today for reasons we weren't going to, but actually, I know she's watching this.
04:35Has the ex turned, now you've got the new girlfriend, is that what?
04:38She does it all the time.
04:39I've tried a couple of times to have relationships, and the homies drove us apart, caused trouble,
04:42in any way possible, shape or form.
04:44And every time it's got more extreme, it's now gone to death threats.
04:47We've got...
04:48Death threats?
04:48Death threats.
04:49Full-on death threats, like...
04:50Did you go to the police?
04:51I've gone to the police.
04:52It's all got recorded phone calls.
04:54We've got messages.
04:55She's just been...
04:55Which would probably be the reason why you were given full custody by the courts in this country,
04:58right?
04:58Probably, yeah.
04:59So, who phoned this show, her or you?
05:02She phoned the show.
05:03She phoned the show because she says, he's playing God with my son.
05:07He does it out of spite.
05:08He's no good as a father.
05:09He's a waste of space.
05:09This is a woman who's lost custody of a kid in the court of law, who's been done by the
05:14police for sending threatening and abusive death threats.
05:16This is a woman who hasn't had the kid in her custody, and wish your dad as well, wanted
05:20to abort the child, yeah?
05:22Yeah.
05:22Are you all right with this?
05:23Yeah.
05:23You have to tell her, not me.
05:25Yeah?
05:25Naomi's on the Jeremy Kyle show that way.
05:35It's a bit rich, isn't it?
05:37Lost custody of your kid, darling.
05:38Why was that?
05:39I didn't lose custody of my child.
05:40Sorry?
05:40I didn't lose custody.
05:41He has custody of your child, yes or no?
05:43Well, then you did lose custody, didn't you?
05:44Does he have full custody or do you have joint custody?
05:47It was full custody at first.
05:48So, you have lost custody of your child then, yeah?
05:50No.
05:51What do you have?
05:53I was going through a real rough time, I lost a family member, I lost the love of my
05:57life, I was trying to live in one of the...
05:58So, you thought you'd get drunk every night and take drugs, yeah?
06:00Yeah, I didn't do.
06:01I never took drugs, I never had a drink in front of my son at all.
06:03What about all the people watching this programme who go through terrible, terrible things in
06:07their lives and still get out of bed and off their backsides and go to work and look
06:09after their children?
06:11Because isn't that the point, right?
06:13Isn't that the point?
06:14Well, I've made mistakes.
06:16What?
06:16I've made mistakes.
06:17Well, what about thank you for bringing the kid up, the kid could be in care.
06:20He's amazing, I've always been down to him.
06:21He's saying he's playing God with the kid's life.
06:23Because he's not doing it, he's doing it for his sake, he's not doing it for my son's
06:25sake.
06:26Answer her, look at her.
06:27My son is the only person that, that's why I'm here now for my son.
06:30I'm not here for you, I'm not here for any accusations that, yeah, I'm not here to talk
06:34about the past.
06:35I mean to talk about my son.
06:36I'm not leaving the studio until I know for the fact that I'm going to see my son tomorrow
06:39or the next day.
06:40Although the courts gave him to your ex, yeah?
06:42But I've got him back now as a supervisor for this year because I've proved to everyone
06:45that I can be in my life.
06:46When was the last time you saw your son?
06:47Two weeks ago.
06:48So, you want more?
06:49Is that what you said?
06:50No, I want three days a week like normally has been.
06:53But you, you know, you did something then which so many people do on this show.
06:56They come out and they go, do you know what, I don't want to talk about the past, I'm not
06:59bothered about the past.
07:00Let's talk about the fact you wanted to abort the kid, let's talk about it.
07:03Did you know why?
07:04Right, I'm not saying you weren't in a bad place, but you don't understand the consequences
07:08of what you did at that time.
07:09When I first found out I was pregnant, I was only moved for a few weeks, I was scared.
07:12Like, I knew I was young, I was 21, I was absolutely...
07:15It was for a year before you got quite pregnant.
07:17I was scared, I was afraid, I didn't know what to do.
07:19It's because you were unsure about whether it was mine, aren't I?
07:21Yeah, I told you, we got a DNA to sort that out.
07:23He makes out he's an amazing dad, but let's be honest, he spends most of the time
07:27smoking weed around our son, is that right?
07:29He's been caught by a social worker because he's trying to give his hand.
07:32So he's been caught by a social worker, why has he still got full custody then?
07:35I don't have a clue, I've been trying to find him.
07:37Is that true?
07:38It is true, yeah.
07:39Well that's appalling, what do you expect me to do now?
07:41Is that why you're looking at the floor, get your head up?
07:43No, no, eh.
07:44You can't paint yourself how to be Dad of the Year and be caught smoking drugs around your infant,
07:48can you?
07:49I understand that, Jeremy, I really do.
07:50But then he has to get me from having a glass of wine while my son's in bed.
07:53What it was, was, I'd got caught on the Monday doing that, I started again on the Friday
07:57juicing Naomi, abducting Oliver and refusing to hand him back over.
08:00Why don't you actually speak to each other instead of at each other?
08:03It's not the truth that you both blame each other.
08:05We can be civil.
08:06You're still in love with him, aren't you?
08:07Course I am, yeah.
08:08And I always will be.
08:09Look at her.
08:10He knows this, you know how I feel about you?
08:12Every time you get a girlfriend, I'm out of the scene, I'm out of Oliver's life.
08:16It's a bit of a weird relationship though, you were facing each other in court and having
08:19in the evening, weren't you?
08:20Yeah, yeah, we got back together, that we can't know it.
08:23What's that?
08:24Every time you get a girlfriend, I'll go through months and months and not see my son,
08:28for what?
08:29For no reason.
08:30Don't lie.
08:31Yes, you do.
08:32I safeguard Oliver, every time I bring him and drop him off.
08:34But your new girlfriend, you've only been with her 12 weeks, she's eight weeks pregnant,
08:36why are you super sperm?
08:38And he cheated on his new girlfriend.
08:41That's why you're very quiet, you're looking at the floor.
08:44No, no.
08:45You were caught smoking weed, right?
08:47I was, yeah.
08:48You haven't exactly been the archangel to go, but actually I don't give a damn,
08:50I don't give a damn if you're sleeping together or not.
08:52We're talking about a kid, a two-year-old kid.
08:53That's how I'm here.
08:54One thing we know about, right?
08:56If we take her side for a second, we've done it for a long time,
08:59people can change, right?
09:00Have you changed?
09:01No.
09:02110% and I have.
09:03What did you get wrong?
09:04I've made mistakes ever since I was 16 years old.
09:06I've made mistakes towards a lot of people.
09:08I've said things to people out of anger.
09:09But I've always turned around and said I'll apologise to that person.
09:12I've apologise to them for my mistakes.
09:13What mistakes did you make with your kids, sweetheart?
09:15Erm...
09:18Not really a mistake.
09:19It was just temporary.
09:20I said to Matthew, I turned around,
09:21I went with Oliver for a few days,
09:23so I can get around the funeral and everything else.
09:26I lost family member.
09:27Can I tell you what I think, Matt?
09:28And I probably changed my mind in the last five minutes.
09:31For you, you freely admit,
09:33well, eventually freely admit that you've made some mistakes as well,
09:35but actually what's quite interesting is that
09:37you've obviously sorted it out,
09:38you've got a new girlfriend,
09:39she's pregnant and everything.
09:40You can't push her out of her son's life.
09:42This is what I'm suggesting.
09:43I'm not pushing her out, Jeremy.
09:44But then your son must want to have a relationship with the mother,
09:47unless, of course, the mother's a complete pain in the backside,
09:49a druggie or a drinker or whatever.
09:51Is she or is she just a young kid who got pregnant,
09:54made some mistakes, a bit like you,
09:56smoking weed in front of your kid, mate?
09:58Because if you turn it round,
09:59that don't look great either, does it?
10:00She's still doing it now.
10:01Are you?
10:02Yes.
10:03No. No, I am not.
10:04The Facebook, social media...
10:05Yeah, what about these threats, death threats?
10:06What's that all about?
10:07When I've...
10:08Did you do that?
10:09Yes.
10:10We're there again.
10:11We're there again.
10:12Bow in the legs.
10:13I'd like to kill you, I've apologised.
10:17It's not what people would look and go,
10:19that's what a mother should be doing.
10:20Do you know what you both need to do?
10:23You need to grow up.
10:24How old are you?
10:2525 and 23.
10:27Kids having kids again.
10:28No disrespect.
10:29But no parent watching this
10:30thinks it's wise to smoke dope round a kid
10:32or make death threats against your ex.
10:34This kid, let me tell you,
10:35it's very simple, I'm going to move on.
10:36Sit with one of my team and sort it out.
10:38Because I tell you this here and now,
10:39your two-year-old will turn into a ten-year-old
10:41and an eighteen-year-old
10:42and one day will hold it against both of you
10:43when some old man sat here when I'm long gone
10:45will be saying to somebody like this,
10:46my parents messed my life up.
10:48Do you want that to happen?
10:49No.
10:50Then grow up the pair of you
10:51and sort the hell out with us.
10:57Listen to me, listen to me.
10:58He doesn't want to be with you, right?
11:00I understand that.
11:01So you have to accept that.
11:03She is the child's mother, you have to accept that.
11:06I don't want to stop her from seeing Oliver.
11:08I just want you to stay out.
11:10No, no, no.
11:11I'm asking you now.
11:12What's your reason for you to stop me from seeing Oliver?
11:15What have I done to that, to my little boy?
11:17Two weeks ago today Naomi,
11:18you turned up to nursery to pick him up.
11:20No, what happened?
11:21Drunk?
11:22Drunk?
11:23You're lying.
11:24You're lying.
11:25Don't sit down with me.
11:26You told my team it breaks your heart.
11:27Hello to think that his new girlfriend's doing all the work.
11:29I've got a statement from Kim.
11:30Naomi has put me and Matthew through an incredibly hard time
11:32for the past three months.
11:34She's taken it upon herself to get involved in my life,
11:36announcing even my pregnancy before I had time to tell anyone
11:38she's even wished my unborn baby dead.
11:40She's tried everything to break me and Matt up.
11:42She's jealous.
11:43Matthew and his son live with me.
11:45I took them in.
11:46I cook her sun tea every night, bathe and change him.
11:49She does not deserve contact with her son,
11:50and I will continue to raise and appreciate it for the person he is.
11:52She knows nothing.
11:53She's been involved for two minutes.
11:54She's put us through, Helen.
11:55I hope she can grow up.
11:56I don't mean to be rude,
11:57but here's what I'm going to say to you.
11:58You're living with her for 12 weeks, right?
12:00You have to accept that he doesn't want to be with you.
12:02You have to accept that you've got a relationship,
12:03but actually you're a father and you share a kid with Naomi.
12:05You don't have to be civil.
12:06Plenty of people deal with their kids separately,
12:08but at the end of the day, right,
12:10be civil for the sake of the kid.
12:11Do what's right by the two-year-old.
12:13Not because of Kim.
12:14Not because you're...
12:15Don't send death threats.
12:16Don't smoke weed.
12:17Grow up.
12:18We'll sit you there.
12:19We'll work it out.
12:20Not for you two.
12:21Don't care.
12:22Yes or no.
12:23Yes or no.
12:24Seriously.
12:25You're going to do this.
12:26Yes or no.
12:27You have to do this.
12:28Nothing to do with her.
12:29That's why I'm sat here saying I'm not walking out of this house.
12:31You don't want anything to...
12:32Hold on a second.
12:33You're draining me, Ed.
12:34She has gone to the extremes of jeopardising my safety in my home.
12:36You smoke dope round her kid.
12:38I understand that.
12:39I get that.
12:40Then that was a mistake.
12:41So give her a chance under our control,
12:42in the controlled environment.
12:43If she doesn't step up in a controlled environment,
12:45we're done.
12:46But at least, at least,
12:47let us try and put in place something that works for your kid.
12:51Not for your ego and not for hers.
12:52If she messes up, you can tell him forever.
12:54That's what I tried to do.
12:55It's on telly.
12:56Yes or no.
12:57Shake her damn hand and make this work.
12:59You go that way.
13:00You go that way.
13:01Let's pull her down.
13:02Well, later now we're going to Graham.
13:04You're back after three and more from the JK show.
13:06Five months ago, she began to get messages at the after clock.
13:08Tell me more.
13:09I don't want to sit here and say that she is doing it.
13:12That's why I'm here.
13:13What would you say?
13:14Cold stuff.
13:15Horrible.
13:16Why would you do that?
13:17You say you love this woman.
13:18You say she's the one.
13:19Horrible.
13:20It's fear.
13:21I can't help feelings.
13:22Are you and your partner in an open relationship?
13:29We're doing a one-off special on couples who share their bed with other people.
13:32Perhaps you're a swinger or maybe you're stuck in a love triangle.
13:35If you're 18 or over and you'd like to be considered for the show, email talk at ITV.com along with your number.
13:41Text talk plus your name to 63334.
13:43Text costs 25 pence plus one standard rate message.
13:46Or you can call my team today.
13:47It's 09011.
13:48It's 123456.
13:50Course costs 25 pence plus network access charge.
13:53Welcome back to the next guest today.
14:02Stephen is here to find out if his partner Demi has been sleeping with other men.
14:06His suspicions started five months ago when she started to receive no end of messages from blokes he'd never heard of.
14:11He says that every time they rouse, she disappears for days on end and he needs to get to the bottom of what's going on.
14:16So big day for him.
14:17Stephen's on the Jeremy Carr Show that way.
14:19I don't know why I say that to people.
14:29Why would you be happy and be on the Jeremy Carr Show?
14:32You nervous?
14:33Yeah, it's not my thing.
14:34It's not your thing?
14:35No.
14:36Not mine either.
14:37Stephen, 27, been with Demi for a year.
14:40We met at work.
14:41How did you meet her?
14:42Do you remember the first time we saw her?
14:44Uh, yeah.
14:45What did you do, both of you?
14:47Didn't get together straight away.
14:48We were, like, friends.
14:49We spoke for a bit.
14:50You know, just got on with each other.
14:51You were thinking, yes, come on.
14:52Yeah, obviously.
14:53Uh, she's the one.
14:56Hopefully.
14:57Good lad.
14:58Five months ago she began to get messages at the after clock.
15:00Tell me more.
15:01It's just, like, Facebook messages, Snapchat messages.
15:04Obviously she's a pretty girl, you know what I mean?
15:06Is she?
15:07Yeah.
15:08Obviously.
15:09I've got to sit here and say, like, she is doing it.
15:11That's why I'm here.
15:12You know what I mean?
15:13Lots of silly arguments.
15:14Yeah.
15:15Silly arguments, like, just...
15:16She does say that she's not replying to them, and I can't sit here, and I'm not going
15:19to sit here and say, she is doing it when I don't know, you know what I mean?
15:22Is it causing major problems?
15:24Yeah, it's, like, I want to be real with her, you know what I mean?
15:27I want to give her everything, be the person I want to be, but at the minute, my body
15:32and my mind won't let me do it.
15:33Quite interesting, because there's a bit of a barrier between you lot, but you say it's
15:37almost like she makes an argument so she can disappear.
15:40Yeah, but at the same time, is that just my version of events, innit?
15:44You know what I mean?
15:45Where does she go?
15:46How long does she go away for?
15:47She goes to her mum's.
15:48For how long?
15:49Right.
15:50The most she's been is, like, five days.
15:52But I work and she works, so...
15:55You worry, though, when you're at work, don't you, all the time?
15:56Yeah, of course I do, yeah.
15:57What do you worry about?
15:58Just...
15:59I don't know.
16:00Because of the situation I'm in.
16:01You know what I mean?
16:02That's why I want to get it.
16:03What, you think she's with other men?
16:04You say she's obsessed with selfish and stuff like that?
16:06Ah, she's a pretty girl, you know what I mean?
16:08Obviously, if females were going to give me attention, I'm not going to turn it down.
16:11But at the same time, do you do...
16:13Do you react to it?
16:14You know what I mean?
16:15Not like...
16:16Turn it down?
16:17What do you mean by that?
16:18If someone says...
16:19Do you know what I mean?
16:20Your appearance, it's nice for someone to say you look good, you know what I mean?
16:22Not...
16:23You don't have to jump into bed with them.
16:24No.
16:25You know?
16:26There's a fine line between...
16:27You look really good, sir.
16:28You're nice and flirting.
16:29You know what I mean?
16:30It's really fine.
16:32You and she are quite serious, but you say that I do worry at work.
16:36I'm 50-50, but you've got this bad gut feeling.
16:38I won't diss gut feeling.
16:40We've done this show a long time, and a lot of people will come here with facts,
16:43and others will come here and say it's just a feeling.
16:45If she has cheated, what happens?
16:47It's done, you can't get past it, can you?
16:49But you love this woman?
16:50Yeah, of course, yeah.
16:51What if she's telling the truth?
16:53It's all in your head?
16:54By all my life, don't I?
16:55A clean sweep.
16:56Yeah, 100%.
16:57For the morning.
16:58Shall we get her out?
16:59Demi's on the Jeremy Kyle show, that way.
17:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
17:11Extraordinary noise.
17:13Demi, welcome to the show.
17:14Um...
17:15Talk to me.
17:16I think he's paranoid.
17:17I want to fix our relationship.
17:19Why is he paranoid, do you think?
17:20Well, he's happened to him in the past.
17:21You just appear for days on end and switch your phone off, didn't you?
17:23Well, he's happened to him in the past.
17:24I've switched it off, like, once.
17:25But obviously, I don't like confrontation, I don't like arguing with him and stuff.
17:29So you just walk away?
17:30Mm.
17:31Why is that?
17:32Because I don't want to argue with him.
17:33You know...
17:34When you argue, he calls your names, doesn't he?
17:36Calls ****ing stuff.
17:37Horrible.
17:38Horrible.
17:39Why would you do that?
17:40You say you love this woman, you say she's the one.
17:41It's horrible.
17:42It can't help feelings, you know what I mean?
17:44Been cheated on before?
17:45Yeah.
17:46Do you think that mirrors the way that you're behaving?
17:49Could...
17:50Could be, yeah.
17:51Mm-mm.
17:52It's interesting, cos you did say, although you're 21, you're ready to settle down.
17:56This is the man you want to be with.
17:57You want to have a family.
17:59You understand the importance of this, and it's almost like you said,
18:02I'm sort of more mature and balanced, really, cos he's 27 and he should be at that stage,
18:07but he's not, because of his past.
18:09Hmm?
18:10Here's a question for you.
18:11Erm...
18:12Why is it that men decide to go out with good-looking women
18:17and then spend their entire time paranoid?
18:19I don't know what you'd answer that for me.
18:21What?
18:22I don't know the answer meself.
18:24But why don't you trust her?
18:26Why can't you just take her for face value?
18:28I wish I could.
18:29I genuinely wish I could just turn it off.
18:30But you're not even enjoying the time you've got together,
18:32because this eats you all the time, is it?
18:34Yeah.
18:35Literally all the time.
18:36It hasn't done, like, for the whole five months, don't get me right,
18:40it's just got to that point now, hence why I'm on the Gerry McHale show.
18:43She said maybe if he stopped accusing me I wouldn't have to run away that often.
18:46Does it just get completely like, I can't take any more of this?
18:49Is this all the time?
18:50Yeah.
18:51And what do you say? You can't say anything to him cos he doesn't listen.
18:52No, I'll just get changed.
18:55Do you ever cheat on him?
18:56No.
18:57Can you imagine a point where he's neither'd you so much?
19:00Cast doubt on your relationship so often.
19:03Made comments non-stop that you just go,
19:05do you know what, you think I'm going to do this, I'm just going to do it.
19:07I just don't need this.
19:08No. No.
19:09See, what is wrong with you?
19:10Could be paranoid, can't it?
19:11Or she could be lying, that's why I'm here.
19:13If she's cheated it's over, is that right?
19:15How many people in the audience think that Demi's cheated?
19:18Just.
19:19One.
19:22Yeah, she's more mature than you by about 20 years.
19:27Blimey.
19:28We asked Demi, since the start of your relationship with Stephen,
19:30have you had sexual intercourse with anyone else?
19:32You said no, why did you say no?
19:34Because I was telling the truth.
19:35She was telling the truth, yeah.
19:37She was telling the truth on every single question.
19:54You say you're sorry, but what you've got to think about
19:56is how you're going to change that behaviour.
19:57How are you going to change the way that you feel,
19:59how you react, what goes through your head?
20:01You've got to go and take it out.
20:02Before.
20:03You've got to ask for help.
20:05No, before I couldn't say whether I was just...
20:07Is it me?
20:08But now I can sit here and say,
20:09yeah, I'm a paranoid weirdo.
20:10I need to sort it out.
20:11You're not a paranoid weirdo.
20:13No, I am, because obviously...
20:14Just stop, but stop going through life thinking
20:16that she's going to leave you and that you're lucky.
20:18Why don't you just enjoy the time you've got?
20:20Look at her, she's going to cheat on you.
20:21I will now.
20:22What?
20:23I will now.
20:24She will do if you...
20:25I mean, she's not going to do it,
20:26but she'll probably just one day get bored, mate.
20:27Bored of not being trusted.
20:28Here's the thing.
20:29We spend so much time, don't we, in relationships thinking,
20:31they're going to do this, they're going to do that,
20:33I better check their phone, I better do this,
20:34whatever you all do on social media.
20:35No, don't do none of that.
20:36Rather than just be with her,
20:38and if she does turn out to be what you think,
20:40well, you'll deal with it and you'll move on and vice versa,
20:42but we spend so much time and negative energy getting like,
20:45well, what might happen if...
20:46Whatever.
20:47Whatever.
20:48Seriously, live...
20:50Why are you laughing when I said whatever?
20:53You giggled a little bit, didn't you?
20:56A little bit.
20:57Why did you giggle?
20:58I don't know.
20:59Just because we've both been through horrendous divorces
21:01is not a reason not to give advice.
21:03Seriously, mate, she's beautiful, you love him, he loves you,
21:07what the hell's wrong with the world?
21:09Go and enjoy yourself.
21:10Go.
21:11Thank you, Pamela.
21:12You're welcome.
21:13Good luck to them, we'll let you know,
21:14and I'm going right back and through,
21:15and more.
21:16From the J.K. Show.
21:17Coming right back.
21:18We asked Emma, since you moved into your house in January 2017,
21:21apart from what you've been to do,
21:22do you have a sexual intercourse with anyone?
21:23She said no.
21:24Greg, you said no, and guess what?
21:25I'm terrified my daughter will reject me 20 years after I left her.
21:29I took the decision out of her hands.
21:30She was too young to make that decision.
21:32I'm terrified my daughter will reject me 20 years after I left her.
21:35I took the decision out of her hands.
21:37She was too young to make that decision.
21:39I took the decision out of her hands.
21:41She was too young to make that decision.
21:44The Hank!
21:45The Hank!
21:46The Hank!
21:47The Hank!
21:48The Hank!
21:49The Hank!
21:54Oat he has been picked up by David Lodge Mike.
21:59The Hank!
22:00a beachrist.
22:01twelve滿 weeks ago.
22:02Game on!
22:03Stuart!
22:04Oh!
22:05I'm absolutely JOSHANT!
22:06The Hank!
22:07The Hank!
22:08Oh, therey!
22:09The Hank!
22:11The Hank!
22:13You are going to go to a residential rehabilitation program.
22:26Oh my God!
22:34When he was having it with you, you were thinking of somebody else.
22:37No, Steve!
22:43You might just remember these next guests from a previous encounter. Take a look at this!
22:59She admitted something happened. What was that?
23:04She met this guy and...
23:09Why would you do that?
23:11We'd only been together a week, so that's not really long.
23:15And I wanted to make sure I was completely over this other guy before I got with him.
23:22What better way to go about finding out if you're sure?
23:25Oh, we've got a production now. Emma admitted, now this is just factual and you'll know most of this.
23:29Emma admitted kissing another man and giving him sex at the beginning of her relationship with Craig.
23:33We talked about that.
23:34She also admitted kissing someone at a barbecue last year, though she can't remember exactly what happened due to drinking too much.
23:40So we asked, since the start of your relationship with Craig, apart from what you've admitted to, have you passionately kissed anyone else?
23:44You said no. Why did you say no?
23:46Because it's a trade.
23:47No, you're a liar.
23:48Since the start of your relationship to Craig, apart from what you've admitted to, have you had sexual contact with anyone else?
23:55You said no. Why did you say no?
23:57That's true.
23:58No, this test says you're a liar.
24:01In fact, this test says you failed on every single question, including sexuality.
24:07Are they real? I haven't.
24:10I technically haven't.
24:11You technically haven't?
24:14I'm always with you or at home.
24:16It's fake because I know I haven't slept with no more.
24:18Technically, she says she hadn't cheated, but now she admits she failed the test due to an overlap at the start of the relationship when she was seeing somebody else and Craig.
24:32But this is actually Craig, who she suspects is the real cheat.
24:36So she's come back to say, apart from the overlap, I haven't done anything, but have you done something?
24:42I'm just enthralled about the barbecue.
24:44I'm not saying anything about the sausage. Emma's back on the Jeremy Carr show that way.
24:57Hi.
24:58You looked shocked last time when I called you a cheat.
25:00Yeah, because last time I was covering up for someone.
25:06You weren't covering up with someone, you were...
25:10It was. There was an overlap. I don't know whether you heard it on the show.
25:13He was with someone else and I was with someone else.
25:16And during the time there was an overlap.
25:18Yeah, but he didn't want me to mention that.
25:20Who didn't?
25:21Craig.
25:22So the test was right?
25:23Yeah.
25:24So why are we back today then? You're a liar. We're done.
25:26No, to prove that I haven't cheated since we've been together.
25:29But how do I know you lied last time? He'd probably lie this pleading time.
25:32I hope not.
25:34So why in all of this have you asked Craig to...
25:39Because that's who I was covering up for, like, the week that I was at my mum.
25:43He was destroyed last time he came on this show.
25:45He was sacked up with somebody else while I was away, but I didn't want to mention that on TV.
25:50And while we was on the show last time, he was actually cheating on me then as well.
25:55Why are you together then? Why don't you just tell each other to do one and run off in the opposite direction?
26:01APPLAUSE
26:03Why?
26:04Why?
26:05Why?
26:06Because you're mad.
26:07Do you love him?
26:08Yeah, I do.
26:09So apart from the bit that flapped over, the overlap thing, that's why you failed the test.
26:13But you could have admitted that, but you weren't. You were protecting Craig who was always cheating.
26:16And now you're back and you're going to pass, are you?
26:18Yeah.
26:19You sure?
26:20Yeah.
26:21So you're going to pass today, and then I can actually go away and think, that's a nice, happy ending.
26:27Yeah.
26:28You're not going to let me down, are you?
26:29No.
26:30Do you promise me?
26:31Yeah.
26:32Are you glad you're back?
26:33Yes.
26:34Craig's on the Jeremy Kyle show that way.
26:37APPLAUSE
26:39Oh, yeah.
26:44Felt like the S.A.S. had just arrived. How are you, son?
26:51Welcome to the show, me old son. Welcome back. You were destroyed last time.
26:56Yeah, I was.
26:57What's this about her covering for you? Tell me the truth.
26:59Was you not cheating, Craig, when we was on here last time? Be honest.
27:03It was to get, I was with someone, but I finished that one to get with her.
27:12One thing I thought last time I was talking to you, right, is, and I don't want you to get upset.
27:17I said to you, do you love him? And you said, yeah, yeah, I do.
27:20You sure you're not just with him because somehow you seem to think you wouldn't do any better, love?
27:25No, I come across cold-hearted because all the times he cheats on me.
27:29So why'd you stay with him? If he constantly cheats, why'd you put up with it?
27:32That would make people...
27:33I do love him.
27:34But he doesn't love you if he's having sex with other people. Have you cheated on her?
27:36No.
27:37It's for texting, Craig. Be honest. When we got home, I found messages and he'd been sending girls' other money.
27:43Other girls' money.
27:44Sending them money? What for?
27:45No, I don't.
27:46For, like, dirty pics and videos.
27:48No, I don't.
27:49Don't lie. Be honest, because you're making me look bad.
27:52So why'd you put up with it, sweetheart?
27:54Because I love him.
27:55Do you think when he's...
27:57Do you think when he's sending money to get dirty pictures, do you think when he's cheating that he loves you?
28:02Because the more I get to...
28:03And I'm being serious and I've done this for a reason.
28:05I think that you stay with him because for some reason you think you're punching and you're not, darling, he's punching.
28:11Why are you putting...
28:12I absolutely reckon...
28:14What are you doing to her?
28:15You have cheated on her, haven't you?
28:16I haven't cheated at all.
28:17Not at all.
28:18I swear darn.
28:19Do you send money so women will send you pictures?
28:21No, I don't.
28:22Why are you changing your attitude then?
28:23Why don't you tell the truth?
28:24I am telling the truth.
28:25No, you're not.
28:26Look at her.
28:27Because I'm getting all the sticks.
28:28I tell the truth.
28:29And you've done bad stuff behind me and all, Emma.
28:32In the past, in the beginning, Craig.
28:33But you do it as well.
28:34Not really.
28:35Why'd you put up with it, babe?
28:38Why'd you put up with it, babe?
28:39Because I've lost everybody else.
28:41You put your neck on the line for this float, didn't you?
28:44Yeah.
28:45It's cost you everything and now he repays you by lying and that's difficult for you.
28:50There's another side to you, isn't there?
28:52No, there isn't.
28:53Yeah, there is.
28:54Just lost your rag there.
28:56You are a cheat, aren't you?
28:57No, I'm not a cheat.
28:58Are you going to pass?
28:59Yes.
29:00Start with Emma.
29:01I find that difficult to put into words but I suspect for somehow you think you're doing
29:12quite well with that.
29:13Because he actually looks after me and he doesn't treat me like the other people.
29:16He just said he's a complete and utter cheat.
29:19But he's not violent.
29:21But that's awful and that says that you've got no self-worth if you're prepared to say
29:24that a man, darling, just because he doesn't hit you, if he can't keep it in his trousers,
29:29you've got to wish and believe that you're worth more than that.
29:36The start of the test.
29:38On Emma's test at the start, she admitted that she'd had a drunken kiss at a barbecue,
29:42which Craig knows about.
29:44He's there.
29:45She also admitted two female friends pecked her on the lips, not passionately again,
29:48he knows about this.
29:49We asked Emma, since you moved into your house in January 2017,
29:52apart from what you've admitted to, have you had sexual intercourse at the name of her?
29:54She said no.
29:55Why did you say no?
29:56I was telling the truth.
29:57Of course she was telling the truth.
29:58What about you?
29:59I'm going to pass.
30:00Are you?
30:01Yeah.
30:02You don't look very happy.
30:03She's passed her, so maybe I'm making the, what?
30:04I'm happy.
30:05I am.
30:06I'm sorry for doubting you.
30:07I'm sorry for doubting you.
30:08From the examiner at the start of the test.
30:09Craig admitted to sleeping with another.
30:10Craig admitted to sleeping with another.
30:11I'm sorry for doubting you.
30:12Craig admitted to sleeping with another woman on three to four occasions,
30:13whilst you were on a flight.
30:14I'm sorry for doubting you.
30:15I'm sorry for doubting you.
30:16That's what you knew about.
30:17I knew about that and that's what I covered up on the other day.
30:18You were right when you said can I come back.
30:19There was an overlap.
30:20Can I come back please?
30:22What about you?
30:23I'm going to pass.
30:24Are you?
30:25Yeah.
30:26You don't look very happy.
30:27She's passed her, so maybe I'm making the, what?
30:30I'm happy.
30:31I am.
30:34I'm sorry for doubting you.
30:35From the examiner at the start of the test.
30:37Craig admitted to sleeping with another woman on three to four occasions,
30:41whilst you were on a break.
30:42That's what you know about.
30:43That's what you knew about.
30:44I knew about that and that's what I covered up on the other show.
30:46Okay, yeah.
30:47And he told you to do that.
30:48So, since you moved into your house in January 17,
30:51apart from what you've admitted to,
30:52have you passionately kissed anyone else we asked?
30:54Craig, you said no and guess what?
30:55You're a liar, aren't you?
30:56I'm not lying.
30:57I'm not lying.
30:58I've not kissed no one at all.
30:59I know exactly what people like you are like.
31:01And the only reason she's with you is because she doesn't,
31:03she can't do wet.
31:04What?
31:05I haven't kissed no one though.
31:06Really?
31:07I swear down I haven't kissed no one at all.
31:08Because it says you've had sexual contact and sexual intercourse
31:10because you've failed every single question.
31:12I'll be in there all the time.
31:13I don't do anything.
31:14And you knew that, didn't you?
31:15I haven't.
31:16I haven't.
31:17You, right, are better than this.
31:19A lot better.
31:20And you don't have it.
31:21And just because, just because.
31:24Come here Steph, come here.
31:25Come here.
31:26Come here.
31:27Just, just stay there Steph.
31:28I just want her there.
31:29I know, right, that you are with him because you have no self-worth
31:33and no self-value and you've lost your family because you've put your neck on the line.
31:36And I am not chasing you around this.
31:38I'm going to concentrate.
31:39Why don't you have the balls to admit what you are?
31:42Oh, we're going to go all difficult and taught now.
31:44The man who sends money to have pictures of women's bits sent to him.
31:48You're a dirty, horrible little man and she can do a hell of a lot better.
31:51And I'm interested in her, not you.
31:53See that lady there?
31:55For me, you'll probably go back to him.
31:58Go and have a chat with her and learn about self-worth and how you can be a better person on your own than with somebody like that.
32:03And admit it's true.
32:13She knows it's true.
32:15Go and tell her.
32:18She knows.
32:19What, are you cheated?
32:20No, I haven't cheated.
32:21You failed this because you cheated apart from the other person.
32:25Don't even try it with me.
32:26I haven't cheated though.
32:27You're a liar.
32:28I swear down I have not cheated.
32:29I don't believe you at all.
32:30I have not cheated.
32:31I am with her 24-7.
32:33I have not cheated.
32:34Not bothered, not bothered because there's nothing in you that I believe.
32:37Nothing.
32:38You're not fighting for this.
32:39You don't give a damn about this woman.
32:40I am fighting for this.
32:41You don't care about the woman.
32:42I do care about her.
32:43No, you don't.
32:44You've abused her.
32:45I have not abused at all.
32:46Yes, you have.
32:47Because I love that woman down to the core.
32:49I am with her 24-7.
32:50How did you fail the test then?
32:52I don't know, Jess.
32:53Because you're a liar, isn't it?
32:54I'm not a liar.
32:55Of course you are.
32:56I am not lying at all.
32:57I love her down to the bone.
32:58You're a liar, mate.
32:59I love her down to the bone.
33:00Why are you shouting to me?
33:01Because I don't like being taught down.
33:03You're a liar.
33:04I'm sitting below you.
33:05I'll talk up to you.
33:06You're a liar.
33:07I'm not lying at all.
33:08I love her to the bone.
33:10I do love her to the bone.
33:12So you said...
33:15I'd do anything for that woman.
33:16Yeah, get out.
33:17Go away.
33:18Do something.
33:19You're going to go home with him, aren't you?
33:20I've got nowhere else to go.
33:27Do me a favour, sweetheart.
33:29In your life, and I can say this,
33:32we can choose to stay with somebody
33:34because we believe that there isn't another option.
33:36Trust me.
33:37When you finally make that move,
33:38and you learn to empower yourself,
33:39there is an option.
33:40And by the way,
33:41you don't value yourself.
33:43But being with a man who treats you the way he does,
33:46devalues you even more.
33:48Listen to Steph.
33:49Don't listen to that.
33:51You know what you are.
33:53And you know what you do.
33:55She sits at home with no self-confidence.
33:57Glad that she's got you as a boyfriend.
33:59Well, I'll tell you what.
34:00If I have my way,
34:01she'll teach her to be at home on her own,
34:03feeling a lot better than waiting for a low life like you to come home.
34:06Listen to her, didn't you?
34:11Good afternoon, my next guest today.
34:12Pat is here to be reunited with his daughter, Vicky,
34:15after he walked out on her,
34:17check this, 20 years ago.
34:18He says that abandoning his daughter was the hardest decision of his life,
34:21but felt at the time that he had no option.
34:24This guy is...
34:25He has a really colourful history, to be fair.
34:28And I want to get the story,
34:29but this guy is massively nervous.
34:30Imagine not seeing a kid for 20 years,
34:32knowing full well that she will have a whole series of questions as well.
34:35So, brief chat with him back here,
34:37and then we'll meet her as well.
34:41How are you?
34:42Very well, thank you.
34:45First of all,
34:46I want to say thank you for putting your trust in us.
34:48Sit back and relax.
34:49I'm going to give you the opening line that my team gave me,
34:52which I know you gave them.
34:53I'm terrified my daughter will reject me 20 years after I left her.
34:59Give me some background, my friend.
35:01What would you like to know?
35:06You're in the army, weren't you?
35:08Yes.
35:09You saw active service where?
35:12Faultlands, Northern Ireland, Germany.
35:19You were away a lot.
35:20You missed out a lot.
35:21Was that?
35:22Is that?
35:23Are the ramifications of doing that as a job
35:25the reason that you didn't see your kid?
35:27I want to bring this up once and once only.
35:29You do have post-traumatic stress disorder.
35:31Yes.
35:32But was that because of the army?
35:33No, there was all the factors as well.
35:36But that exacerbated it?
35:38That exacerbated it, which I didn't know I had at the time.
35:42Your daughter Vicky is 32 years of age.
35:44You're 53.
35:45The last time you saw her was when she was 11, 21 years ago.
35:49Today you'll meet her.
35:50I couldn't be the dad she needed, is what you tell my team.
35:53Correct.
35:54Tell me how you come to a decision to walk away from an 11-year-old in your own mind.
36:00I was a drunk.
36:02I was abusing prescription medication for epilepsy like it was Smarties.
36:09I'd go out on a bender and I would drink until I black out.
36:14And if I wasn't drunk, I was as high as a kite.
36:18Did you ever try and explain to her or did you just walk away because you thought you were such a mess?
36:22I thought I took the decision out of her hands.
36:29Was it the right decision?
36:30I did what I thought was right for my kid.
36:33In hindsight, was it the right decision?
36:34Yes.
36:35Really?
36:36Yes.
36:37Do you not think that she should have been given the opportunity to have her father with his flaws in her life?
36:42No.
36:43Alright, but I'm having a go at your talk. What about an explanation?
36:47You have to understand, yeah, her mother brought them up.
36:52Her mother was there when she needed her.
36:56I can't...
36:57No, no, I'm not actually having a go at you. I kind of see what you're saying.
37:00But you've also got to understand, I'm trying to put you...
37:02I'm trying to make it for her.
37:03I was in such a state...
37:05But what about her?
37:07She was too young to make that decision.
37:10My questions are nothing...
37:12My questions are nothing compared to what I know she's going to ask you.
37:15So I'm sort of in a way...
37:16Look at me, I'm trying to prepare you.
37:17I actually...
37:18Do you know my problem with this?
37:20Problem's the wrong word.
37:21I have great respect that anybody that is in the Army, the Navy, the Air Force that represents this country.
37:25I absolutely have no concept of what you saw when you did and I take my hat off.
37:29And I mean that.
37:30One million percent.
37:31But the fact is...
37:32And this is not a criticism at all.
37:34I know that you had a hugely difficult time when you were a kid and that impacted on decisions you made.
37:40You were in turmoil, but what you have to understand, irrespective of all of that, and I doff my hat to that, is that this girl growing up was in turmoil.
37:49She did not understand.
37:50Whatever you might say about her mother being the consistent feature, she did not understand why her father abandoned her.
37:55In fact, furthermore, as so many people do on this show, she thinks it was her fault.
38:00That's all I'm saying to you to help you. Do you understand what I'm saying?
38:03Yes, as I'm saying here...
38:04It's not going to be easy.
38:05No, it's not going to be easy.
38:07It's not going to be easy.
38:09But this is her choice.
38:12How do you feel?
38:13I'm terrified.
38:15I'm ashamed of some of the stuff I've done.
38:18I've lied.
38:20I've been deceitful.
38:22You're going to lie to her today?
38:23No.
38:24Tell her the truth.
38:25Tell her the truth.
38:26I wasn't a fit enough father for her.
38:29All right, see what I'm going to do.
38:31I'm going to go to a break.
38:32I'm going to meet her on stage, talk to her.
38:34You can watch it, and then I'm going to bring her back to meet you, all right?
38:37OK.
38:38Don't worry about it, but you're all right.
38:39Coming back after this break.
38:40Don't go anywhere.
38:41A military man.
38:42Yeah.
38:43He was in the Royal Green Jackets, which I believe is now the Riflemen.
38:47I remember going to his house.
38:48I asked my mum to see him.
38:49We spent the day there, and we went to the garage.
38:52Yeah, went to the garage, had sweets, and do all the stuff you do when you're 11.
38:56And then I hadn't seen him since nothing.
38:58Nothing.
38:59I've got him.
39:00No.
39:01I've got him.
39:03Hello, everyone.
39:04APPLAUSE
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39:41Vicky is here in one last ditch attempt to find her father patch.
39:54She says that her dad walked out on her 20 years ago and she hasn't heard from him since.
39:59Now, after years of searching, she hasn't been able to find him and hopes that today, with the help of the team, we can get her some answers.
40:04It is a massive, massive day for this girl.
40:06Show your respect to Vicky on the Jeremy Carr show.
40:08That way.
40:18Oh, look.
40:19Hiya, darling.
40:20Goodness me.
40:21You all right?
40:22What have you got there?
40:23That's a picture for you.
40:24Have a look at that.
40:25That's me mum and me dad.
40:27Can you get that on, Rich?
40:29It's your mum and dad?
40:31Yeah.
40:32I think he must have been about 18 then.
40:35A military man?
40:36Yeah.
40:37He was in the Royal Green Jackets, which I believe is now the Riflemans.
40:41Yep.
40:42He was in the 1st Battalion and then went into the 2nd.
40:45And then I must have been about 6 when he came out.
40:49Because I remember him coming out.
40:52And then, yeah, I've seen him once since.
40:55He just left.
40:56Why?
40:57My mum, him and my mum had issues, as you do as adults.
41:01It always does.
41:02It can't be helped.
41:04Mum's never lied to me about that either.
41:06So...
41:07What did she say?
41:08What did she say?
41:09Growing up, what did she tell you?
41:10I won't go into it too much about what happened between them.
41:15But she's always been very honest with me.
41:17Did she blame him?
41:18No.
41:19There was fault on both sides.
41:20That's nice to hear.
41:21There was fault on both sides.
41:22As adults, that happens, but...
41:23He left when you were how old?
41:2511?
41:26I was 6.
41:27I saw him once when I was 11.
41:28I asked to see him.
41:29What would that last memory be?
41:31When from 6 to 11?
41:33Your last memory, I guess, I suppose.
41:35I remember going to his house.
41:36I asked my mum to see him.
41:38And she put me and my sister in the car with my stepdad.
41:41And we went to see him.
41:42And we spent the day there.
41:43And...
41:44We went to the garage.
41:45Yeah, went to the garage.
41:46Had sweets.
41:47And do all the stuff you do when you're 11.
41:49And then I hadn't seen him since...
41:51Nothing.
41:52How does that feel?
41:53It's never staying in.
41:54As the years pass?
41:56It got worse as I'm an adult.
41:58Because...
41:59Well, I don't have kids of my own.
42:02But I would never walk away from my stepkids.
42:05And I don't understand why you would walk away from your children.
42:08Regardless of what happens between you and your missus.
42:12You've got to respond to them.
42:14There might be other reasons, I guess.
42:15There could be, but...
42:16I think it's quite interesting that you said that she didn't slag him off.
42:18And I think a lot of people would come here and they'd assume that...
42:20That actually, you know, the parents have had a disagreement.
42:23And one walks away in a sulk.
42:24But there's usually, I would hope, more to it.
42:27You've searched over the years.
42:29What have you done?
42:30Everything.
42:31I've been...
42:32I was on...
42:33I found people finder and Facebook and all of that.
42:37I went to Wakefield.
42:38I went back to Doncaster.
42:39I live in Weymouth in Dorset.
42:40Beautiful little town.
42:41Proper sweet.
42:42And I found him, what I thought was him, on the electoral roll.
42:46Mm-hm.
42:47So I went to Wakefield and knocked on some poor bloke's door.
42:49Not him.
42:50But he said it weren't him.
42:51I think I terrified some poor bloke.
42:52So people watching this, you know, would assume and understand that you've got quite serious
42:56questions to ask.
42:57Because, I mean, this is a guy who at the age of 11 walked out of your life forever.
43:00There doesn't seem to be much bitterness or anchor, but actually what you're saying is that
43:03you just want to hear his side.
43:05I've always said about these sorts of stories that the worst thing is when people assume
43:09it's going to be brilliant.
43:10Oh, yeah.
43:11I mean, if you don't want to see me, then, to be fair, I'm now 32 and I don't need a
43:16dad.
43:17My mum's been there.
43:18I've never wanted for anything.
43:20But if you don't want to see me, then grow a pair and come and tell me.
43:23And then at least it's closure then.
43:25At least it's something to...
43:26So you've come here to what, make a...?
43:28Make an appeal, really.
43:29To see if anyone knows of him or could tell me anything where he is.
43:35I've got him.
43:36I've got him.
43:37No.
43:38I've got him.
43:39You don't need to see anything.
43:44Come on, come on.
43:45Listen, listen.
43:46You don't need to see anything.
43:47But I want to do this backstage and I want to tell you something.
43:52Yeah?
43:53Listen to me.
43:54I am terrified my daughter will reject me.
43:5820 years after I left.
44:00Where's he going, isn't he?
44:03Picture?
44:04That was the last time you saw him.
44:06That's the last memory I have.
44:08I have to tell you one thing that is searingly honest about this guy.
44:12He has had a hard time but he doesn't dress it up.
44:15Do you want to see what he looks like now from there?
44:17Yeah.
44:18Do you?
44:19Sure?
44:20All right.
44:21Three, two, one, go.
44:22Have a look.
44:25Bloody hell.
44:26That's your dad.
44:27And look at me.
44:28We'll go and meet him but I want you to understand one thing.
44:30I'm not justifying what he did.
44:32He's had a lot of problems, okay?
44:34Yeah.
44:35This is the happiest day slash scariest of his life.
44:37We all right?
44:38Shall we do this?
44:39Come on, come here.
44:40Just back here.
44:41We have all these people that work on this show and nobody holds the door.
44:55Thank you again.
44:56You're not got ragged arms and legs you can't do.
44:59Thanks, G.
45:00In your cup.
45:02Hi.
45:03So sorry.
45:04You haven't changed.
45:05Not got much to talk about.
45:06Take a seat.
45:07First thing out of your mouth there my friend Pat was you said I'm sorry.
45:19Yeah.
45:20Sorry for what?
45:21Tell her.
45:22I'm sorry for everything.
45:23It's a long time when...
45:25At that time I...
45:28I was incapable of looking after myself.
45:29Yeah.
45:30You have to change.
45:31Not got much to talk about.
45:32Take a seat.
45:33First thing out of your mouth there my friend Pat was you said I'm sorry.
45:34Yeah.
45:35Sorry for what?
45:36Tell her.
45:37I'm sorry for everything.
45:40It's a long time when...
45:42At that time I...
45:45I was incapable of looking after myself.
45:48after myself never mind about walking after you that's why you left wasn't it
45:53and you need to give her that reason at 11 why you walked away you need to tell
45:56her I couldn't I couldn't cope he was in the army there were some problems from
46:05that PTSD right there were some problems from his childhood he drank he took
46:09drugs he abused alcohol he abused substances as well look at me I've done
46:15this a long long time and usually I'd have gone there he didn't think that he
46:20could be the father that you deserved I do know that's not a pass out by the way
46:23from me by the way that's not a it's not a free pass because you still absolutely
46:28deserve an explanation and I will say one thing Pat look at me get your head up
46:31this is important there's a lot of people that wouldn't be given this chance by
46:35this young lady there's a lot of people that would have gone he can do one after
46:3720 years so this takes honesty and candor on both sides it takes time and that's
46:42what we do on the show people know backstage the aftercare team do all of
46:46that that's what I want you to know it's not gonna be roses around the door but
46:50your search Vicky's over how does that feel I'm sorry excuse me
46:56I'm sorry it's all right it's fine we've got a whole box I went to Doncaster and scared some poor bloke bless him
47:12I've stopped everything from Weymouth to Doncaster and Weymouth to Wakefield and knocked on some
47:16bloke's door and it wasn't you you didn't think you get this chance did you no he feels ashamed
47:22that's why it's quiet today is the start right listen to me we'll bring Graham in
47:26yeah but listen I'm gonna say one thing now which the aftercare department might
47:30look at me and go didn't say that she wants answers but she's not saying she
47:35doesn't want a relationship she does the worst thing you can do and I know you're
47:38gonna be honest and I know you're gonna be very straight the worst thing you can
47:41do is allow your guilt and shame for the next 20 years to put a dampener on what
47:46we've achieved today because we've got you back together and from here you can only
47:50build do you understand that yes and that's what you want yes happy
47:56I look like you let go of me man happy I leave you in the cave the lands of the
48:01genius thank you so much for coming on give them a round of applause all yours G thank
48:05you lovely way to end this morning we'll let you know we'll let them work with Graham I am out of time
48:11for now if you want to be here you need my help is in my website the details on the
48:13screen to my guest to this audience and to you at home thank you for watching I'll see
48:16you very soon take care bye-bye for now
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