ES S02 E05 Open Bar - gay theme series - video Dailymotion

The Gaymer

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Transcript

00:00What if everybody hates me?

00:10I'm not going to hate you.

00:11What if everybody hates me and nothing sells and I have to move back in with my mother in Arizona?

00:15Well, then I'll move with you.

00:17I won't.

00:20What if I have to start all over?

00:22We'll get through it.

00:23We've been through worse fairly recently.

00:26What are you talking about?

00:27You haven't told her?

00:28What?

00:30I guess it was about to come out eventually.

00:33Tell me.

00:35You tell her.

00:46Hillary.

00:46I am so mad at you.

00:49Both of you.

00:50Why didn't you tell me?

00:51You know what?

00:51I don't even want to know.

00:52I just want the secrets to stop.

00:54Okay?

00:54You can trust me.

00:56Completely.

00:57From here on out, I want to know everything either of you do sexually.

01:01Okay?

01:03I promise.

01:06I mean it.

01:07You text me if you masturbate, Tom.

01:10Okay.

01:11I wish you go.

01:13I'm so excited.

01:14But I am also mad at you.

01:16I'm also very happy.

01:17I'm just kidding.

01:21Thanks.

01:22I'm sorry you had to hear all that.

01:28I need a drink.

01:30Please, why?

01:31Oh, no.

01:32No, no, no.

01:33Oh, right.

01:34Because...

01:34Shh.

01:35Hillary, man, he's coming over.

01:37My baby.

01:40Thanks for coming, Mom.

01:41I'm so proud of you.

01:43My goodness, your work has just come such a long way.

01:45I mean, I've always loved it.

01:46I paid out the ass for that art school you went to after all.

01:49But this, I mean, this could really become something.

01:52Like a job.

01:53You think?

01:55My other baby.

01:59Look at you.

02:00How did you get time off from working with inner-city kids to be here tonight?

02:03Look at you.

02:04I'm so proud of you, but you're so skinny.

02:07I want to march you right next door and make you eat a burrito.

02:11And then there's you.

02:13Hi, Val.

02:13I'm still mad at you.

02:15Calvin, I'm afraid your father couldn't make it tonight.

02:18Big surprise.

02:18But I'm sure he's here in spirit.

02:20I do hope his spirit can see how fucking amazing I look.

02:22I do look fucking amazing, don't I?

02:24Oh, you look fucking amazing, Val.

02:25Okay, I forgive you.

02:26Now, the two of you, run along.

02:28Go on.

02:29Mingle.

02:29Well, go network.

02:31Hillary and I are going to catch up, mumble about how we're buying everything.

02:34But first, the bar.

02:41I can't network, Silver.

02:43Everybody wants to talk to you.

02:44Just go up to somebody and say hi.

02:46Can you pretend to be me?

02:48Calvin.

02:50It's a nice turnout.

02:51You must be Calvin.

02:52Nice to meet you.

02:54I'm Carmela Frederick, Frederick Galleries.

02:56Oh, it's this gallery.

02:56Good one.

02:57I'm Paul Frederick's business partner and also his wife.

03:01So, surprise.

03:02I've heard a lot about you.

03:03Yes, and I have heard so much about you.

03:07I'm Tom.

03:09Would you be a dear and fetch me a glass of Chardonnay?

03:11Of course.

03:12Paul sends his regrets.

03:15He's in Idaho battling sex addiction.

03:17I'm sure you're aware.

03:19But he's getting the best treatment possible.

03:21Oh, my God.

03:22I'm kidding.

03:23He's an alcoholic.

03:24Isn't everybody?

03:25I'm not.

03:26I'm not.

03:27I have a business to run, and also I'm an adult.

03:29So, I'll be handling Frederick Galleries' affairs from here on out.

03:32Paul tells me you're very talented.

03:35Oh, don't thank me.

03:36I didn't say it.

03:38Most of the men that Paul gives shows to can barely hold a camera.

03:42It's not their, um, primary skill set.

03:45But your work, well, it's not boring.

03:51Oh, God, don't look so terrified.

03:54I can be a bit of a bitch, but I pride myself on objectivity.

03:57Those two over there will sell tonight, and the rest, I guess we'll see.

03:59It depends on how long the show runs.

04:02Chardonnay and two waters.

04:05Cheers, darling.

04:15Sven!

04:20Astonishing, isn't it?

04:21I don't really like photos of men, but I like these.

04:26I don't really like anything.

04:30Well, you better hurry up and buy it if you like it, before I do.

04:34Maybe I'll buy it.

04:35Honey, you couldn't afford the frame.

04:37Time to get a drink.

04:38Hillary.

04:46What are you doing here?

04:48Supporting my friend Cal.

04:51Seriously, what are you doing here?

04:53Seriously?

04:54You're supporting my friend Cal.

04:57Are you certain you didn't just come here because you want to see me?

04:59No.

05:00Yes.

05:01I don't know.

05:02I can't believe you're just so nice.

05:03Because I like to look nice at a fancy party.

05:05I mean, who doesn't?

05:06Yeah, right.

05:06You wanted to impress me because you wanted to be my boyfriend.

05:09Say it.

05:10Say you want to date me.

05:11Oh, I'll date you.

05:12Yeah.

05:13I'll date you so hard.

05:14Yeah?

05:15Wait, why didn't you return any of my messages?

05:17I left 33.

05:19It's humiliating.

05:20I've sort of been seeing someone.

05:22What?

05:23Only sort of.

05:23Only sort of?

05:25I should go.

05:26This is a mistake.

05:27Did you seriously just come here to tell me that?

05:29I don't know.

05:31Maybe.

05:38Let's get you a drink.

06:06I don't want to fuck all this stuff.

06:17I just need like 30, 45 more.

06:21I'll be good.

06:22Hold on.

06:26I have an interesting outfit for a gallery opening.

06:29Is it after Labor Day?

06:30Wait, when is Labor Day?

06:31Seriously, what are you wearing?

06:33It's a Versace.

06:34Seriously?

06:35Yeah.

06:36I look good, bitch.

06:37I was kind of hoping we'd have some boyfriend pictures and suits for Facebook.

06:41Well, I got a gig.

06:43Great.

06:44Like, I'm hosting porno karaoke.

06:45That's a big opportunity for me.

06:46Yeah, but before that, we have a friend's gallery opening.

06:48It's a gallery opening, Douglas.

06:50It's not a bachelorette party in a gay bar.

06:53Because the whole world's not a gay bar.

06:56Are you worried that I'm going to embarrass you?

06:58No, but I'm starting to wonder if you're trying to embarrass me.

07:01You don't have to worry about that because you're going alone.

07:04Are you picking a fight with me?

07:06What are you doing?

07:07Watching you be a prick.

07:08Uh, you're going to quote Showgirls and just walk away?

07:14Where are you going?

07:15Different places!

07:21Sven.

07:22Sven.

07:26Sven!

07:28It's Ben.

07:29I just want a man who's totally and completely fulfilled by me, you know?

07:32Like, if an apocalypse happened, he'd be completely satisfied.

07:35Just the two of us in a bunker, eating canned goods, you know?

07:38I mean, what is wrong with that?

07:40And that's when I told you, Father, I am sorry.

07:42I'm sorry you weren't man enough for me.

07:44I'm sorry that I wasn't a lesbian so we could be together, Jerry.

07:47Jerry, such a lesbian name.

07:51I'm just calling to say that I'm sorry.

07:54I'm sorry that you weren't man enough to be with me.

07:58I'm sorry that I'm not a lesbian!

08:00Ian, you're such a lesbian name!

08:03Ian!

08:08I'm sorry.

08:09I'm sorry.

08:18Cal!

08:22Jesus, we're worried with him.

08:23We're looking everywhere.

08:24Sorry.

08:25It's fine.

08:29Have you been drinking?

08:30No, I wish.

08:32I just can't stop shaking.

08:33Hey, I'm probably in withdrawal.

08:38I should go to Idaho, go to rehab with Paul.

08:42Oh, that's not very funny, but okay.

08:44I feel like I'm going to throw up.

08:47Everybody fucking hates me.

08:49What?

08:50I'm really unlikable.

08:52I know that, but everybody loves your work.

08:55No, Cal.

08:56No.

08:56Seriously, everybody loves you.

08:57Is anybody buying anything?

08:58Have you seen anybody buy anything?

09:01I don't know.

09:03But who cares?

09:05What's important is that you have the...

09:06No, I do.

09:07Tom, I care.

09:08This is my future that we're talking about.

09:10That woman hates me.

09:11I'm barely scraping by.

09:12If this doesn't work out, I'm going to have to go wait tables or fucking worse.

09:17That's not that bad.

09:18Yes, it is.

09:20You fucking hate it.

09:23You said you were going to kill yourself.

09:25You said you told me that you would kill yourself if you were waiting tables for one more year.

09:31You specifically told me...

09:33If I'm 30 and I'm still waiting tables, I will kill myself.

09:37Here's a roof.

09:39I'm sorry.

09:40Cal, I'm sorry.

09:41It's okay.

09:46When I got my piece published last year, I thought it was going to change everything.

09:50It was a big deal.

09:52I mean, people were writing blogs about how much they disagreed with me.

09:56And then...

09:57Nothing.

10:03But what's important is to find a way to be happy where you are.

10:08But we're not anywhere, ever, Tom.

10:15Nobody is.

10:17We're going someplace.

10:20Hopefully together.

10:21Where are we going?

10:31I don't know.

10:35Exactly.

10:38We should go back to the party.

10:41I think I'm happier where I am right now.

10:44Will you stay with me?

10:52Of course.

10:53We could totally double suicide.

11:07Let's do it.

11:08Let's do it.

11:09Let's jump.

11:09We're going down to the pavement.

11:14You and I were like...

11:15We're like sisters, Hillary.

11:18Or you're like my kooky aunt or something.

11:21Or your mother.

11:23No.

11:24Definitely sisters.

11:25I just want you to know that you can tell me anything.

11:30Mom, I didn't teach America.

11:32I forgot to apply.

11:35I know, honey.

11:36How dumb do you think Mommy is?

11:38I'm sorry, Mommy.

11:40It's okay.

11:42I mean, I'm glad you're being honest with me now.

11:45It's very important.

11:47And I can tell that you are a very, very honest girl.

11:53I'm trying to live my truth, you know?

11:55Mm-hmm.

11:56It's so important.

11:58So honestly.

12:00How are Tom and Calvin doing?

12:03I don't know, Mom.

12:05I was worried.

12:05But, you know, they seem strangely okay with this whole open relationship thing.

12:11Did you just say open relationship?

12:14Shit.

12:15Shit.

12:16I wasn't supposed to say anything.

12:18Mm-hmm.

12:20Sven.

12:21Just keep the bottle.

12:25Here you go, honey.

12:30We shouldn't have any secrets.

12:32Now tell me, what have those naughty boys really been up to?

12:39They're so naughty.

12:41Where were you all night?

12:56Avoiding everyone.

12:58First shows can be tough.

12:59A lot of people can't handle the pressure.

13:02I guess.

13:02I think you should have this.

13:05Because you sold out half the gallery.

13:07Seriously?

13:10Paul owes me 20 bucks.

13:11Because I told him you were a keeper.

13:14I want you to prepare to go to New York.

13:16We have a space there.

13:17But be warned, okay?

13:19New Yorkers do not suffer fools.

13:21So you need to know exactly who you are as an artist before you arrive.

13:25This shit won't fly.

13:26Basically.

13:27I mean, these are pretty boys.

13:28But go deeper.

13:29Yeah?

13:30I can do that.

13:30Great.

13:31And also, just figure out your life stuff.

13:33I think you have some hard decisions to make.

13:35What do you mean?

13:37The long distance thing.

13:38You need to figure it out.

13:40You have a cat.

13:41I do have a cat.

13:42Okay.

13:42Get rid of it.

13:45Okay.

13:45Okay?

13:46I don't, um, know much about love.

13:50But I do know that it's nice to have an ally by your side in this world.

13:56I don't mean to dive any deeper into your personal history than I already have, but...

14:02I do have an ally.

14:05Good.

14:07Nice work, kiddo.

14:09I look forward to seeing more from you.

14:18So I want you to know that I completely support your and Calvin's decision to open up your relationship.

14:24I mean, why not?

14:26As long as you guys are practicing the safe sex.

14:30Just bang it out.

14:31Hillary, I cannot believe that you told her that.

14:33No, I swear.

14:34I didn't tell her everything.

14:35Everything?

14:37What's everything?

14:38Pretty good, dear.

14:39Mmm.

14:45Now, you were saying?

14:50Cheers, motherfucker.

14:50Oh, thank God.

14:52Too drunky again.

14:54Drinking again.

14:57Oh, my God.

15:00What do you want to watch?

15:01I don't know.

15:02What do you want to watch?

15:03We've got women in prison and women in New York City.

15:06Sounds great.

15:07Hey, eyes up.

15:09This is important.

15:12What do you think about him?

15:14He's cute, but I don't think he actually knows how to throw that football.

15:17He has a weird butt, but he's free.

15:21Hey.

15:23Why would you make a jockstrap out of leather?

15:26I don't know.

15:26It must chafe.

15:29Like, if you're on a motorcycle, you might wear a leather jockstrap for if you, like, fall

15:34and you skid, a very small part of your butt will be protected.

15:39How did you come up with that?

15:41Just, you know, thinking about how on earth that might be practical.

15:45Total weird butt.

15:46I mean, seriously, it's like...

15:49It's like...

15:51muscular, but flat.

15:53You think he has a weird butt and he wants to go over to his house right now?

15:56I mean, just...

15:57I'm not going over to some guy with a weird butt's house, alright?

16:00I'm not exactly dressed to go out.

16:02I don't think we're sporty.

16:03Nobody has ever thought that I look sporty.

16:06I think you look sporty.

16:07Pff.

16:09What sport?

16:10I don't know.

16:11Like, golf?

16:13Or what's that one of, like, the horses that, like...

16:17Dressage.

16:18You could be dressage.

16:20You could play that sport.

16:22Should I tell him we'll be over 10, 10, 15?

16:24Sure, bro.

16:25Maybe you can watch the game.

16:29Bro.

16:30Yo, bro.

16:31Yo, bro.

16:32The game is Egyptian Rat Screw, which sounds more your speed, Jimmy, given you're tasty men.

16:38Yeah, ha-ha.

16:39I'm out of money.

16:40Ha-ha.

16:40He says we're playing for money.

16:42Hey, girls.

16:42I'm sorry, I'm late.

16:43Yeah, we know.

16:44It takes a long time to look that cheap.

16:46That's not the Dolly Parton quote.

16:47The Dolly Parton quote is, it takes a lot of money to look this cheap.

16:51Which is appropriate, because we're cutting down your take of the door.

16:53Who's been doing Dolly Parton?

16:55Who's doing door guy Jimmy, all right?

16:57If given the choice of doing Dolly or anybody else, why wouldn't you choose Dolly?

17:01Girls, girls, you're both ugly.

17:02Now, what did I miss?

17:03Oh, it's dead.

17:04I've made 50 cents in tips.

17:06Oh, well, that's pretty good for you.

17:08Mm-hmm.

17:08I got a blowjob.

17:10Really?

17:10Nice.

17:11Girl, we need the truth.

17:14You and Quincy.

17:15Is that happening?

17:17Could maybe make me a thing.

17:18Oh, because he didn't act like that was happening.

17:21No, no.

17:21He was like, uh, I don't know, uh, we're, uh, we'll just see what's happening.

17:25I gotta go.

17:27Mm-hmm.

17:27Is that so?

17:28Mm-hmm.

17:29Oh, my God.

17:30Do I have to run big up by myself?

17:32Oh, sorry, girl.

17:34Uh, it's your turn at the door, Miss Gamora, Lee, Dinah, whatever.

17:38Hi, I'm Dinah Aides.

17:40Mm-hmm.

17:41Rape soda.

17:42Come on, I've already called B-13.

17:44Oh, man.

17:45We'll play rat screw later, Jimmy.

17:47All right.

17:50Oh, dear.

17:51You know, you don't look that cheap up close.

17:54Shut up and deal.

17:55All right.

17:58Fish.

18:01Well, it's 10.30 and he hasn't texted me back.

18:04What the fuck?

18:06Fuck that guy.

18:07Who does this?

18:08It's just so rude.

18:09Guys, you've already found sex with other closer guys do that.

18:12Well, then just text.

18:14Okay?

18:15It's not a big deal.

18:16Just send me a text.

18:18I mean, manners.

18:18It's called a backup plan.

18:20I've seen you do this.

18:22I do not do this to other guys.

18:23Pretty much, like, every night you're texting somebody and it's like,

18:26Yeah, yeah, you know, you want to come over later?

18:29Maybe.

18:29I don't know.

18:30I don't know.

18:30I've got a lot of stuff to do.

18:32Maybe in an hour.

18:33And then frantically trying to, like, find somebody you're actually attracted to to hook up with.

18:37You do a really good impression of me.

18:40I've studied you for years.

18:42I'm an expert.

18:44Well, what do we do now?

18:46I think we live on with our lives.

18:49Try to have a nice night.

18:51Well, this guy's still writing me.

18:53And you haven't written back to him in over an hour.

18:55Look at that backup plan.

18:57I'm writing now.

18:59I'm going to open another bottle.

19:01You do that.

19:07Should I open two bottles?

19:10Are they both red or is one red and one white?

19:12Both red.

19:14Yeah, why not?

19:16Hey, Jay, it's Saturday.

19:18I was thinking about going out with some friends and I thought I should invite you, but...

19:24Then I remembered that you hadn't responded to my last two invitations

19:27and the one before that you just texted me, sorry, busy.

19:31And I started to wonder if maybe I should be getting the hint and leaving you alone.

19:35So this is me calling to tell you that I won't be calling you anymore.

19:42Guess it was me who was pushing this thing from the beginning.

19:44And now I'm going to make myself seem even more pathetic by telling you that I really like you.

19:54So if you ever feel like calling me, call me.

20:03It's...

20:04It's Derek.

20:05That was fun.

20:12I'm glad we finally got together.

20:15You're not an easy guy to pin down.

20:17Well, you did okay.

20:20Don't make me do it again.

20:21Hey, you're going to wake up the lesbians.

20:27You still seem really familiar to me.

20:29But I can't figure it out.

20:31Well, we are neighbors.

20:32We do live exactly 685 feet away from each other, according to my phone.

20:36But that's not it.

20:39Well, I guess I just have one of those generic faces.

20:41You're seriously fishing for compliments?

20:44Okay, well, I'd fuck you.

20:46How's that?

20:48That really means a lot.

20:50You get when you're mad.

20:59You don't know Tom, do you?

21:02How do you know Tom?

21:04I'm a regular.

21:07At the restaurant?

21:11I do remember you.

21:16That's not embarrassing.

21:21I've gotten to know him and Cal pretty well.

21:25What does that mean?

21:32Remember that night we were chatting?

21:35And I was at the Bastille Day party?

21:37No.

21:38Yeah.

21:39No, no, no, no, no.

21:40Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

21:46Oh, my God.

21:48Hey, how many filters is too many to use on Grindr?

21:53Three.

21:54Okay.

21:55I'm going to go take a leak.

21:57All right.

21:57I just want to keep you company.

22:10Is this a good spot for me?

22:11I'm not offending anybody with my transvestisism?

22:14I don't think you can say transvestisism.

22:18All right.

22:18Now I'm offending the transvestisism community.

22:21You're terrible.

22:23So, question.

22:26Are we some sort of secret all of a sudden?

22:28What do you mean?

22:30Well, I had heard that you were all like whatever and stammery about us, basically.

22:37Well, come on.

22:38I never stammer.

22:40Maybe I don't want to be accused of favoritism.

22:42Oh, I'm sorry about that.

22:44I was under the impression that I was your favorite even before you started blowing me.

22:48I don't want to rub it in everyone's face.

22:51But I am your favorite.

22:53Babe.

22:55You're always my favorite.

22:59That's color's bad on you.

23:03Okay.

23:03Hi.

23:05Hi.

23:06Hey, David.

23:07I'm going to hate crime, that faggot.

23:19I hope you get a fucking DUI.

23:21Who is that?

23:22Just some asshole I went on a date with.

23:24Then why is it so important that he doesn't see us kiss?

23:26I mean, I didn't.

23:28It's not.

23:28I didn't do anything.

23:29That's three times.

23:31Three times you've denied me before the rooster crowed.

23:33Is that from the Bible?

23:34Yeah, it is.

23:34You know I was raised Pentecostal.

23:36And when I get angry, sometimes it comes out.

23:38And I'm angry.

23:39I'm angry.

23:39Jesus Christ.

23:41I like you.

23:41I think you're great as Marsha Gay Hardon.

23:43My name has been Dinah Aids for a week.

23:46Fine.

23:46That's horrifying.

23:47I want to date Douglas.

23:49Okay?

23:51Okay.

23:52All right.

23:53Well, how about this?

23:54You don't get to pick and choose the shit that you want to deal with at the time that you

23:57want to deal with it.

23:58I'm very, very sorry.

23:59But I'm a person.

24:00I'm multifaceted.

24:01Like a zirconia.

24:02Okay?

24:03Don't laugh at me.

24:04No, I'm done with this door duty shit.

24:06I'm sorry.

24:06And when I see you next, if you maybe want to consider apologizing, I maybe might want

24:10to accept it.

24:12Okay?

24:14Okay.

24:18Sorry.

24:19No sorry.

24:20No, I'm sorry.

24:21Uh-uh.

24:21We're done.

24:22Done.

24:23Lot's wife.

24:24Out.

24:24No, no fries with this shit.

24:26So, I heard you denied Douglas three times.

24:44Three times?

24:45Yeah.

24:48Want to make my rooster crow?

24:52Ugh.

24:56You ever think about moving to New York?

25:00This is fucking ridiculous.

25:02Who raised these people?

25:03I mean, we couldn't afford a Williamsburg, but maybe Bushwick?

25:06Some sort of industrial loft space?

25:09What?

25:10Nothing.

25:11Just put your fucking phone down.

25:13Gladly.

25:14Fuck everyone.

25:15You don't have to fuck everyone, Tom.

25:17I mean, like, literally fuck everyone.

25:19I know what you meant.

25:20Just, why do we have to do this tonight?

25:23Don't you want to celebrate your clean bill of health?

25:25No, not really.

25:29I mean, I haven't, you know, since everything happened, and I don't really know how comfortable

25:34everything's going to be for me.

25:36And maybe the first time that we have sex again should be the first time we have sex

25:39again, Tom.

25:42Shit.

25:44You could have just told me.

25:45Well, I shouldn't fucking have to.

25:47Don't fucking yell at me.

25:48Be less of an asshole.

25:49Be less of an asshole?

25:50No, I'm just trying to have a good time.

25:53If you did want to do this, you could have just said that you didn't want to do it, and

25:56it would have been fine.

25:57I'm going to bed.

25:58Oh, so what?

25:59You're going to make me, like, sleep out here on the couch or something?

26:01You got your phone?

26:02So you can find someplace else to sleep tonight?

26:04This is my fucking apartment.

26:07Did you really just say that to me?

26:10I'm sorry.

26:11Oh, come on, Cal.

26:13I said I'm sorry.

26:16It's just fucking Christ.

26:28What the fuck is wrong with you?

26:31Jesus Christ!

26:31It's a fucking text message.

26:34You're sitting there fucking spying on me?

26:36You're a broken person.

26:37You're so immature, Cal.

26:39Go the fuck to bed.

26:41Jesus, you're a fucking wash.

26:56Sitting and wishing the clouds away

27:01The truth creeping in and I could not stay

27:07I'll wait for the bus

27:10Cause I've missed the train

27:13I look to the past

27:16But it's gone

27:17A long-s거리

27:21Chopper

27:23To do it

27:26A long-man

27:29Me

27:30I look to the한

27:30A long-man

27:31That's one

27:33Can't wait for the day

27:33I'll be there

27:34I love you

27:35I'm just

27:35Writing

27:36Luis

27:38Pawtago

27:39Mat

27:40Built

27:41Mat

27:41Upon

27:42Once

27:42If

27:43inspector

ES S02 E05 Open Bar - gay theme series

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