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  • 5/20/2025

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Hello, I'm Chris Hardick. Welcome back to WebSoup. Thanks for coming back.
00:10So even though the country is in a drunken recession and do stumble towards the turlet,
00:14people are still selling crap we don't need but couldn't possibly live without.
00:18Except, of course, for all the wonderful advertisers on our program.
00:22Oh, hello, bonies.
00:25If you can find a cheaper diaper to have a boner in, you buy it!
00:30Now, let's take a gander at what's collecting dust in humanity's bargain bin.
00:39And if you order in the next 20 minutes, that means you're sad and alone.
00:46Belts! They are the sideways suspenders of your waist.
00:51But when your everyday belt isn't striking fear enough into the hearts of the people you regularly abuse,
00:56you must get this.
01:11She wasn't wearing any pants to the... Okay.
01:15Yes, the belt sword. It's that handy device you're struggling to remove from the belt loops on your dockers
01:21while being stabbed by a guy with the far inferior normal sword.
01:25No.
01:33Say, you know, nuts got it rough.
01:35I mean, they're always just hanging out front, surrounded by your thinnest skin on your body,
01:40like an executive desk toy just waiting to be clacked together.
01:43And in their honor, here's our Huevos Holocaust of a segment.
01:50So, you're hanging out with your friends, watching the 1988 classic BMX movie Rad, and you're...
02:02And you really want to try to pull off some of the gnarly stunts of Crew Jones.
02:17But then you realize you can't bike dance to the song Send Me An Angel, so you just end up doing this.
02:23Guys should have been wearing bonies.
02:39It was even more sad that all those kids were probably there just to see that.
02:44Oh, hey, you going down to see Nick's balls get run over by a bike?
02:47Of course, man! I've been looking forward to that all week!
02:49Oh, our small-town lives suck.
02:52You know, there's some stuff I'm on the fence about.
02:56Socialized medicine, Sam Raimi's decision to give Spider-Man organic web-shooters,
03:00ambivalence.
03:02But one thing I am NOT on the fence about, subjecting my beanbag to this!
03:13Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
03:16Oh, ho, ho, ho!
03:18Well played, former Nuts owner. Well played.
03:30Even our stage manager was like, what's he trying to do?
03:34If you freak out a Brit, you have gone way too far with nut humor.
03:40But we're not only the only people taking delight in the man's groinal agony.
03:44We also put the viral on Twitter, and here's what you Tweet Tweakers had to say.
03:48At Corey Ichabod wrote,
03:50When your insurance won't cover your vasectomy!
03:54Meh.
03:56At MisophobicPhil tweeted,
03:58Break me off a piece of that nut smash bar!
04:00Getting better!
04:02At Alex J. Morgan says,
04:04In a brave act of humanitarianism, Earl removes himself from the gene pool!
04:08Wait, hang on.
04:12Are we 100% sure that wasn't a Tweet from at Gary Larson?
04:15Does that sound like a Gary?
04:18You know, we'll see the big guy and a bear standing nearby for some reason.
04:21Say, have you been dying to see two guys get their nuts bashed in by a...
04:26Oh, hang on. I've already said nuts.
04:28Listen, we've had so many crotch injuries on the show that the nut synonyms are getting used up.
04:33Let's see, we've used, uh, balls, sperm globes, uh, gulions, man berries.
04:39Do we have the nut thoris that I could borrow?
04:41Thank you very much.
04:42Let's see!
04:44Um...
04:47Hairy walnuts, family jewels, grapes, squibbles.
04:52Aha! Here it is!
04:54Please enjoy this next viral in which the aforementioned fellows both take a hit to the Fraggle Rocks!
05:00All right.
05:03All right?
05:04Just go, yeah.
05:06Whoa!
05:07Whoa!
05:09Whoa!
05:12To be perfectly honest, I've always wanted to see two grown men hanging out in a playground
05:21get a steel bar to the...
05:24Harry and the Hendersons.
05:27Thanks, Nutsaurus!
05:29Yeah!
05:34Coming up on Web Soup...
05:35Crazy young woman, come on down!
05:37You're the next contestant on Things You Can't Unsee!
05:41Welcome back to Web Soup!
05:52I'm Chris...
05:54Hardwick.
05:56Now, for the viral video equivalent of walking in on your parents having sex...
06:01with their parents...
06:03It's Things You Can't Unsee!
06:10The Exorcist is considered by many to be the most disturbing movie ever made not starring Sandra Bullock.
06:28And when it was re-released in 2000, the filmmakers decided to add a scene that had previously been deleted from the original film.
06:35It's called the Spider Walk scene, and I'm starting to pee just thinking about it.
06:38Now, for legal reasons, we can't actually show you that scene, but we can show you this woman recreating it.
06:43Enjoy the terror!
06:45That poor dog has to live with those people.
07:14You can see more of our videos by eating really spicy food, listening to black metal, and then falling asleep in a graveyard.
07:24Quick! Engage the palate cleanser!
07:27Blood Cleanser!
07:29Winner talk on a mini-nook, a mini-nook.
07:35Winner talk on a mini-nook, a mini-nook.
07:42Oh, look at that.
07:55He's licking on the knobs and the dials.
07:57He must think they're his ass.
08:00Once in a blue moon, a web video comes along
08:03that changes all the rules.
08:05Luckily on WebSoup, blue moons pop up
08:07on average once every seven days.
08:08This is the greatest web video ever!
08:12You know, sometimes you get home from a long day at work and you just want to sit down
08:22on the couch, crack open a cold one, and forcibly compress your coccyx.
08:27That's where a couple of close friends and airbags stuffed under a sofa cushion come in handy.
08:31This is the couch.
08:33It's messed up.
08:34So this is the airbag.
08:35We're going to put it inside the couch.
08:37We're just going to sit here and hopefully blow him to the ceiling.
08:41Get the f*** in here, pal.
08:42What's up, man?
08:43How you doing?
08:44Billy Bayes, give me some oxyclean.
08:46What the f***?
08:50What the f***?
08:55What the f***?
08:59What the f***?
09:03What the f***?
09:09No, no.
09:10Don't worry.
09:13I know you're worried.
09:15Don't worry.
09:16That couch folds out into a wheelchair.
09:18Well, that's it for our show.
09:21Don't forget to follow us on Twitter.
09:22We are at WebSoup.
09:23Thanks for watching, everybody.
09:24We'll see you next time.
09:25Good night.
09:26Good night.
09:27Good night.
09:28Good afternoon.
09:29Good day.
09:30So long.
09:31Good night.
09:40Good night.

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