The plot is about a trio of medical residents in their late 20's/early 30's who nevertheless like to play all kinds of juvenile pranks on each other and ...
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00♪
00:00:27Wow!
00:00:28Buongiorno, avvocato. Buongiorno, signora.
00:00:32Great pair of tits.
00:00:34Buongiorno.
00:00:42Hey, here comes the drinker. Come and see.
00:00:46That pussy gives me the boner of beer.
00:00:50Hey, why don't you take a look, my lady?
00:00:52Such an exhibition does not interest me, sir.
00:00:55What's the matter, little man?
00:00:57Let their glasses and get fucked up.
00:01:01You see her, Luigi?
00:01:02God, I'm beginning to feel raunchy.
00:01:04The bully's gonna go for the cape any second.
00:01:06I love my wife, but oh, you've got a great ass.
00:01:08Not so loud!
00:01:09I saw her roller-skating last week.
00:01:10She was wearing this pair of pink tights.
00:01:12Oh, boy, I tell you, I could eat it all.
00:01:16Care to join me in tandem?
00:01:18Love to. And maybe later we can try some other positions I know.
00:01:24Roland Morelli, you're a real and lively champion.
00:01:29Come on, squeeze.
00:01:31Push now. One, two, that's it.
00:01:35Squeeze, squeeze.
00:01:36If I squeeze any more, I'll break through.
00:01:42Do your uncles get swollen, too?
00:01:45To a figure eight.
00:01:46Hey, action, action.
00:01:48To a figure eight.
00:01:50To a 69.
00:01:55You've got to eat the best.
00:01:59If you have to be here, what do you do?
00:02:02Run like hell for the nearest restaurant.
00:02:07Listen, I would be honored to have you up for a drink,
00:02:10say, a little chocolate with mouses and cream.
00:02:12Master, perhaps these chairs are so slippery. Grab on.
00:02:15I'm grabbing, I'm grabbing.
00:02:17I don't need the railing.
00:02:18I don't need the railing.
00:02:19Come down, you're going too fast.
00:02:21No, just the opposite.
00:02:23Really, I'm showing the most beautiful self-control.
00:02:26But with my auntie away, I'm afraid the brakes won't hold
00:02:29and the risk is enormous.
00:02:30Are you scared?
00:02:31Huge.
00:02:32I can almost feel it.
00:02:34Come on.
00:02:35I can't.
00:02:36What are you doing?
00:02:38That's enough.
00:02:39Don't talk to me like that or I'll hang up on you.
00:02:42Wait a second.
00:02:43When I asked you, could I tell you the dream,
00:02:45I remember you say yes.
00:02:46You remember that?
00:02:47So why you say now you don't want to hear that?
00:02:49When I said yes, I thought the rating was going to be G.
00:02:53If I could censor my dreams,
00:02:54I'd be only too happy to do it for you.
00:02:57Ah, you can dream as dirty as you like,
00:02:59but I forbid you to use me as the star.
00:03:02But it's not my choice.
00:03:03Sure, I much prefer Sophia Lorraine,
00:03:05but you appear and she just never gets a chance.
00:03:09Sophia?
00:03:10I beg your pardon?
00:03:11I mean, come on, let's be serious.
00:03:13There's just no comparison.
00:03:14I'm sorry, I mentioned her.
00:03:15Sophia.
00:03:16Forget Sophia then.
00:03:17You better forget.
00:03:18Stop trying to be the victim.
00:03:19I am the victim here.
00:03:20I used to dream about Sunday school picnics,
00:03:22then one night there you were on the other side of my hot dog
00:03:25dressing an african tutu,
00:03:26and ever since then it has been one long provocative nightmare.
00:03:29Do you understand that?
00:03:30Believe me, since you moved to this city,
00:03:32may the Lord forgive my sins.
00:03:34Senora, if I can remember correctly,
00:03:36I have already assaulted your body 264 times.
00:03:41That's quite enough.
00:03:42If you call again, I'll tell my husband
00:03:44and he'll report you to the police, understand?
00:03:46No, no, no.
00:03:47Please, senora.
00:03:48I am not a dirty young man, honest.
00:03:50The only reason I ask you to listen
00:03:51is to help me get my innocence back.
00:03:54I mean, I've got to free myself from these dreams.
00:03:57Detorment is murder and it helps to verbalize it,
00:04:00especially to you.
00:04:02What you need is a shrink.
00:04:03Oh, I'll feel a lot better already.
00:04:05Thanks to you, senora.
00:04:07Well, I'm happy to be of service.
00:04:08Where do I send the bill?
00:04:10Can you continue the treatment?
00:04:11Say you will.
00:04:12What do you mean continue?
00:04:13Oh, shit.
00:04:14Hello?
00:04:15Yes.
00:04:16Hello?
00:04:17Yes, I can't tell you how happy I am
00:04:18that you understand my problem.
00:04:20Here they are, the glasses.
00:04:21What glasses?
00:04:22I knew you, you understand.
00:04:23I knew you.
00:04:24Hello there.
00:04:29Senora?
00:04:46Great feet.
00:04:47Hey, it's the green girl.
00:04:49Just say the word
00:04:50and I will drop out your husband
00:04:51and then with great happiness,
00:04:52I will take you off the bottom.
00:04:54Hop in, I'll give you a ride.
00:04:56Or you let me hop on and you give me a ride.
00:05:09Go on, go on, I'll wait.
00:05:16It's going to split.
00:05:18It's going to split.
00:05:26Lower, lower, that's it, pick it up.
00:05:31Pepino, where are you?
00:05:32I have things to do.
00:05:34Hey, man, it's an event
00:05:35when Dream Girl walks down the street.
00:05:37Such displays are mere indications
00:05:39of social decadence.
00:05:40Give me your hand.
00:05:46Here's your glass of sherry, Dario.
00:05:48Thank you, thank you, auntie.
00:05:50We shall over...
00:06:16Hello?
00:06:17Hello.
00:06:18You were waiting, huh?
00:06:19You were waiting for my call.
00:06:21Yes, like waiting to get the measles.
00:06:23The sooner you begin to see the spots,
00:06:25the sooner you know they'll disappear.
00:06:27I'm not upset.
00:06:28I'm happy to play the game.
00:06:30I know that at five, I pick up the phone
00:06:32and there you'll be.
00:06:34And an hour later, I'm free.
00:06:36Of course, when your obscene phone calls get tiring,
00:06:39I just get my spies to intervene.
00:06:42And into J you go.
00:06:43It is you should be locked up.
00:06:45For example, what you did.
00:06:47Today you walked down the street
00:06:48in a dress so tight it needed to be oiled.
00:06:51And all the men were waiting to see it split.
00:06:53Except me.
00:06:54I turned in the opposite direction.
00:06:56Come again?
00:06:57I didn't.
00:06:58I turned the other way.
00:06:59I refused to look at your juicy body.
00:07:01And why was I so hard on myself?
00:07:03Because you continue to stir in my dreams
00:07:05with such intensity that I'm...
00:07:07I'm afraid I might...
00:07:09get tired of fantasy
00:07:10and get to do something to you.
00:07:12Such as?
00:07:13I'm saying I'm seriously afraid I'll go berserk
00:07:16and I'll rape your real naked body.
00:07:18You what?
00:07:19Are you trying to scare me?
00:07:21On the contrary.
00:07:22The contrary.
00:07:23I got to great lengths simply to avoid this risk, you know.
00:07:26And it's getting harder all the time.
00:07:28It's getting so bad, for instance,
00:07:29that now when you go for your walk at night,
00:07:31I have to make sure I stay safely locked in my house.
00:07:34Could I ask you something?
00:07:36I have to make sure I stay safely locked in my house.
00:07:38Could I ask how old you are?
00:07:42You married?
00:07:45By any chance, are you afraid of girls?
00:07:57You may be right, but do keep it brief.
00:07:59Well, we were in a courtroom.
00:08:02You had a polka-dot dress and skin tight.
00:08:05You were the prisoner
00:08:06and I was one of the two officers guarding you.
00:08:09Silence in the court!
00:08:15On your feet! On your feet!
00:08:24Shrimp cocktail, cannelloni, meatball.
00:08:27What the hell?
00:08:28Take this back to the judge's dining room.
00:08:30Where is that goddamned thing?
00:08:33The Republic of Italy,
00:08:34in the name of the Italian people
00:08:36and in compliance with the laws in force,
00:08:38in particular with Articles 519 and 520 of said Penal Code,
00:08:42Paragraph 3 specifically,
00:08:44referring to Article 107 and 120
00:08:48concerning the crimes of obscenity, perversion,
00:08:50the bearing of the female anatomy in public
00:08:52to incite men to lust and thus outrage the state.
00:08:55Further, in Article 46, Paragraph 2, 5 and 38,
00:08:59the crimes of willfully causing decent men
00:09:01to have lewd, lascivious and violent dreams.
00:09:03And with special reference to Article 47, Paragraph 91,
00:09:07concerning unnatural sexual behavior
00:09:09as well as disturbing the peace with screams of ecstasy
00:09:12upon achieving multiple orgasms,
00:09:14climax after climax after climax,
00:09:16subjecting sleepless neighbors to vicarious acts.
00:09:19Further, in Articles 821 and 1434,
00:09:22the crime addressing in a manner designed
00:09:24to inflame the minds of honest men
00:09:25to the point of making them indulge
00:09:27impure fantasies of carnal activity with the dressee.
00:09:30Ah, that's it. Give me a close-up once in a while.
00:09:33Corruption of minors,
00:09:34an aggravated sexual assault on strange men in elevators.
00:09:37And finally, under Articles 514, 620, 711 and 999
00:09:42of the Penal Code,
00:09:43and in the special section governing permissible positions
00:09:46in the act of love,
00:09:47Articles 150, 342, 655 and 2275,
00:09:52plus Paragraph 56 in the Lupricious Acts Codicil,
00:09:55the defendant stands condemned.
00:09:57Now, here's your sentence.
00:09:58On your feet.
00:09:59Yes, on your feet.
00:10:02You're being sentenced. On your feet.
00:10:04She's coming.
00:10:07She's on her way up, Your Honor.
00:10:09Yes, she comes.
00:10:14You are guilty.
00:10:15I hereby condemn you
00:10:17to be sent to prison for women,
00:10:19and women only, eh,
00:10:20for a period of not less than 202 years.
00:10:24And you can consider yourself lucky, darling,
00:10:26that this country no longer has the death sentence.
00:10:30And as they took you away,
00:10:31my plume was still quivering with passion.
00:10:34Your what was quivering?
00:10:36My plume was quivering, yes.
00:10:38A new word for it.
00:10:39Listen, you'd better see a psychiatrist, really.
00:10:41Yes, my plume.
00:10:42Well, I have to go now.
00:10:43Yes.
00:10:44Till tomorrow.
00:10:45Till tomorrow at five.
00:10:54THUNDER RUMBLING
00:11:24THUNDER RUMBLING
00:11:55THUNDER RUMBLING
00:12:09GASPS
00:12:13Group A, RH positive.
00:12:16Lady, my wreckage can't be too juicy.
00:12:20But I've heard that you vampires usually like oil.
00:12:23When you're thirsty, any pose refreshes, honey.
00:12:25Sleepy.
00:12:27I need you desperately.
00:12:29It's my turn, so be quiet.
00:12:30Anonymous is all ears.
00:12:32All right.
00:12:33I've had just about all I can stomach.
00:12:35Your mind is sick, that's your business.
00:12:37But when your dreams make me ill,
00:12:38that's going a bit too far.
00:12:40But I call you to give you good news, signora.
00:12:42I didn't dream last night.
00:12:44That's great.
00:12:45Well, I did.
00:12:46That is, I didn't.
00:12:47Something strange is going on in my head.
00:12:51The movies last night, I imagine we met.
00:12:53And you were Count Dracula.
00:12:55And I was a vampire.
00:12:57That is, I mean, I had this great desire to...
00:12:59I mean, it was absurd.
00:13:00Welcome to the land of nightmares.
00:13:02To that insurmountable pain and torment
00:13:04penetrating through the bottomless pit of the soul.
00:13:06The best thing, I think, is for us to...
00:13:08to get together.
00:13:10I'm sure if we exchange a few words in person,
00:13:13this whole thing would assume a...
00:13:15a dimension that's more sort of much more...
00:13:18much more natural.
00:13:20More simple.
00:13:21Like...
00:13:22I mean...
00:13:23Well, you know what I mean.
00:13:25Shock therapy.
00:13:26It might work, but I'm afraid I couldn't stand the shock.
00:13:29Surely anything is preferable to the torment of all suffering.
00:13:32It's coming back.
00:13:33The demon is starting to repossess my soul.
00:13:35The sooner we do it, the better.
00:13:37Meet me this evening at nine o'clock.
00:13:39I'll be under the bridge near the station.
00:13:41What?
00:13:42What do you mean, no?
00:13:44It's very dark under the bridge.
00:13:46It's a good out-of-the-way place.
00:13:47No, no, I am not normal.
00:13:48You'll be opening a can of worms.
00:13:50Well, that's a general idea.
00:13:51You have more than one.
00:13:52I can't.
00:13:53Please, please, don't tell me.
00:13:55I tell you, I am a monster at heart.
00:13:57The safest thing I can do is stay home.
00:13:59We've got to free ourselves from the chains that bind us.
00:14:01No.
00:14:02Unchain Malady!
00:14:03You'd better keep the chains.
00:14:04I promise you'll come.
00:14:05Please, please, please, don't push it.
00:14:06I am a madman.
00:14:07A real screwball.
00:14:08You're so graphic.
00:14:09I might touch you and then I'll...
00:14:11maybe I'll bite you.
00:14:12No.
00:14:13I might...
00:14:14We'll have to take that chance.
00:14:15No.
00:14:16You're asking me to meander down the street at least to sin.
00:14:18I warned you.
00:14:19That way lies death.
00:14:20Nine o'clock, anonymous.
00:14:21No, I can't.
00:14:22I can't.
00:14:23Did you say by the bridge?
00:14:24Bridge?
00:14:25Bridge?
00:14:26No.
00:14:47I knew that you would be here.
00:15:02Come on now.
00:15:03Let's have a look at you.
00:15:06All right.
00:15:09If you want me to come to you...
00:15:13Here I am.
00:15:15Your dream girl in the flesh.
00:15:18Now, my secret stud.
00:15:20Show me where it's at.
00:15:22Where is it at?
00:15:33That's where it's at!
00:15:42Oh, yeah!
00:15:48Hey, Moreno, your herbal tea is getting cold.
00:15:52I don't want it.
00:15:53Hey, it's a celebration.
00:15:54He nailed the lady fantastic.
00:15:56I still can't believe it.
00:15:58It was a beautiful drink.
00:16:00Anything you want to drink?
00:16:01Blackout champagne.
00:16:02Wait.
00:16:03Did you hear how it happened?
00:16:04At the station.
00:16:05Man, I'm just about to relieve myself
00:16:08when all of a sudden she comes along.
00:16:10Ballroom?
00:16:11Yeah, in the shadows.
00:16:12I mean, I'm happy just to see her walking by.
00:16:15Fantastic.
00:16:16Anyway, she spots me and starts talking to me.
00:16:19She knows I beat her.
00:16:20Next thing I know, she's ripping my clothes open
00:16:23and out comes the cannon
00:16:24and I give her a 16 inch salute.
00:16:26Lucky guy.
00:16:27Hey, where are you going, Moreno?
00:16:29Aren't you going to celebrate with us?
00:16:31You should all be ashamed.
00:16:32The Lord shall punish you.
00:16:33Yeah, sure.
00:16:34He's full of baloney.
00:16:35Well, he don't understand.
00:16:36Here's to you, Salvatore.
00:16:38Ah.
00:16:39A 16 inches.
00:16:42A 16 inches.
00:17:07Fire.
00:17:28Is it fun to waste gas?
00:17:37Yeah.
00:17:38Not at all.
00:17:39God, I'm hot.
00:18:10You ought to be arrested.
00:18:35I want to look.
00:18:36I got to look.
00:18:37Just a little peek, please.
00:18:38I'd rather you picked at the road.
00:18:39Senora Contessa, pretty please.
00:18:40Just a teeny-weeny peek.
00:18:41I won't answer that.
00:18:42Now, watch where you're going or we'll end up in the hospital.
00:18:43In the who, me?
00:18:44Look out!
00:18:45Philip, are you crazy?
00:18:46You nearly killed those men with your foolish antics.
00:18:47I'm sorry, Contessa.
00:18:48It'll pass.
00:18:49It'll pass.
00:18:50I'm all right now.
00:18:51It's this hot weather.
00:18:52You know, it made me dizzy.
00:18:53I'm a cold little person.
00:18:54Philip, if you can't bear the heat, I'll find a chauffeur that can.
00:18:55No, don't do that.
00:18:56Don't do that.
00:18:57Don't do that.
00:18:58Don't do that.
00:18:59Don't do that.
00:19:00Don't do that.
00:19:01Don't do that.
00:19:02No, don't do that.
00:19:03I'm so sorry.
00:19:04Please, don't.
00:19:05I beg you, Senora Contessa.
00:19:06The fact is that this morning, I'm particularly...
00:19:07No, because, my good man, this is your usual state.
00:19:08There is nothing particular about it.
00:19:09Don't lie to me.
00:19:10No, this morning more.
00:19:11It's worse this morning.
00:19:12It must have been that look I got.
00:19:13I'm a cold little person.
00:19:14You're hysterical, Philip.
00:19:15You saw nothing.
00:19:16Oh, yes.
00:19:17You gave me a look in the rearview mirror.
00:19:18I saw that.
00:19:19Well, that's natural.
00:19:20We look at one another almost every single day.
00:19:21Not like that.
00:19:22Look, I'm no virgin and you're no red riding hood.
00:19:23I love pussy.
00:19:24Please, no slang.
00:19:25I told you that.
00:19:27I hired you for the driver's seat, not for stud service.
00:19:28How can you be so cruel, Contessa?
00:19:29I haven't had a woman for two months and you...
00:19:30Oh, Philip, oh really?
00:19:31Please, keep your libido to yourself.
00:19:32That's what I'm doing, I tell you.
00:19:33Keeping it all in.
00:19:34Forcing it down.
00:19:35Only my main libido is pushing so hard,
00:19:36my whole head hurts.
00:19:37I'm in terrible agony.
00:19:38The reason you are without female favors
00:19:39is because you behave like such a fool.
00:19:40A provincial.
00:19:41And besides, your availability is too obvious.
00:19:42I'm sorry.
00:19:43I'm sorry.
00:19:44I'm sorry.
00:19:45I'm sorry.
00:19:46I'm sorry.
00:19:47I'm sorry.
00:19:48I'm sorry.
00:19:49I'm sorry.
00:19:50I'm sorry.
00:19:51I'm sorry.
00:19:52I'm sorry.
00:19:53And besides, your availability is too obvious.
00:19:54Well?
00:19:55Open the window.
00:19:56Say, what's going on?
00:19:57What?
00:19:58You almost run Foreman down
00:19:59and you dare ask such a question?
00:20:00It was a mechanical problem.
00:20:01Now the car won't move.
00:20:02Sorry to have created such trouble for you, officer.
00:20:03I'm sure that you understand.
00:20:04I'm sorry.
00:20:05I'm sorry.
00:20:06I'm sorry.
00:20:07I'm sorry.
00:20:08I'm sorry.
00:20:09I'm sorry.
00:20:10I'm sorry.
00:20:11I'm sorry.
00:20:12I'm sorry.
00:20:13I'm sorry.
00:20:14I'm sorry.
00:20:15I'm sorry.
00:20:16I'm sorry.
00:20:17I'm sorry.
00:20:18I'm sorry.
00:20:19I'm sorry.
00:20:20I'm sorry.
00:20:21I'm sorry.
00:20:23I see you're happy.
00:20:24You just said it.
00:20:25I understand.
00:20:26I'm trying too.
00:20:27I'm trying.
00:20:28Thank you, Officer.
00:20:29It's a pleasure.
00:20:30Armado's a service with a smile.
00:20:31Now if you'll put the boat in gear.
00:20:32A little push and we'll have to get her started.
00:20:34Yes, Ray, Sir.
00:20:36And you could be sure we'd really appreciate it.
00:20:39Hop to it.
00:20:41All of you, go on.
00:20:43adieu.
00:20:49Filippo.
00:20:50Father Anne.
00:20:51As you wish, Contessa.
00:20:56Bend a bit.
00:20:57I said to bend. You'll get a much nicer angle.
00:21:00Like this?
00:21:01Lower.
00:21:02Bend your knees.
00:21:04Lower.
00:21:05Lower.
00:21:07Filippo, you better get on your knees.
00:21:09Anytime.
00:21:10Now I want you to take a pretty photograph of me with the fountain as the background.
00:21:13What fountain?
00:21:16Is the fountain in focus?
00:21:17The fountain?
00:21:18The fountain.
00:21:19All I can see is...
00:21:22I'm a cold-weather person.
00:21:29What?
00:21:30Filippo!
00:21:31It's a beautiful day for soccer here at the Rome Stadium.
00:21:33And now the teams are coming onto the field...
00:21:34Filippo, what's wrong with you?
00:21:35Honestly, I don't understand you.
00:21:37You are in the coffee.
00:21:46What in the...
00:21:47Filippo?
00:21:48Where?
00:21:49On your feet.
00:21:52Come here.
00:21:53Come here.
00:21:56Could you tell us what it was you saw?
00:21:59I didn't ask you to make me get on my knees.
00:22:00You told me I had to.
00:22:01Filippo, I asked you what you saw.
00:22:03Can't we forget all that?
00:22:04I'm a cold...
00:22:05My panties.
00:22:06You photographed them.
00:22:07Don't say panties.
00:22:08That word makes me nervous.
00:22:09Can't you say my undergarments or frilly lace?
00:22:12Women's lingerie.
00:22:13So you are a panty freak.
00:22:14Is that it?
00:22:15Undergarments.
00:22:16Only undergarments.
00:22:17Goal!
00:22:48The table is ready, Signora Contessa.
00:23:03Listen, Filippo.
00:23:04When Signor Luciano gets here,
00:23:05you can leave us and go get a bite in some restaurant in the area.
00:23:09As you command, Signora Contessa.
00:23:13Filippo?
00:23:17Yes, Signora Contessa?
00:23:19Have I offended you again?
00:23:20I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Signora Contessa.
00:23:22Don't be such a hypocrite, idiot.
00:23:24You think I don't know you yet?
00:23:26I swear I...
00:23:27And don't swear a falsehood.
00:23:29Oh, Filippo, look, I don't know what to do with you.
00:23:32Often I know you can say that I pick on you,
00:23:35but then I'm the first one to regret it.
00:23:37You are so efficient, so impeccable.
00:23:41When I took you on, I was very happy.
00:23:44I, too, Signora.
00:23:46As to my slapping you before, that was a hasty act,
00:23:49though it was merely intended to prevent you overstepping a post.
00:23:52To be frank, Filippo,
00:23:54your behavior frequently presents grounds for discharge.
00:23:58No, not that.
00:23:59Don't fire me, don't fire me.
00:24:01Then you better learn to curb your excesses, understand?
00:24:04The whole problem is my Southern blood.
00:24:06You know how we Sicilians are.
00:24:07Your Southern blood, is that it?
00:24:08Exactly.
00:24:09Listen, in my hometown, they'd screw a horse, Contessa.
00:24:11I've forgotten you're a Sicilian.
00:24:13You're so savage.
00:24:15You're seething, cauldron, and so naive.
00:24:19I realize how hard it must be for you
00:24:21to be in such close daily contact with a lady as refined as I am.
00:24:24Refined is the word.
00:24:25With such a beautiful body.
00:24:27Beautiful body is the word.
00:24:29Youthful.
00:24:30Youthful is the word.
00:24:31We might even say provocative.
00:24:33Yes, say provocative.
00:24:37You mustn't stare fixedly into my eyes.
00:24:39It makes me feel nude.
00:24:42No, don't say nude.
00:24:44It drives me crazy, that word.
00:24:46Get your neck off me.
00:24:47You're overstepping your post again.
00:24:49What is my post?
00:24:50I don't know.
00:24:51Go sit in the car.
00:24:52Look at the engine.
00:24:53What do other chauffeurs do?
00:24:54I don't know.
00:24:55I know.
00:24:56Prepare the mattress.
00:24:57What?
00:24:58The air mattress.
00:24:59I'm going to have a sun bath.
00:25:00The air mattress, yes.
00:25:01Go on, go on.
00:25:02I'm going.
00:25:03See you later, Contessa.
00:25:04Yes.
00:25:15Shhh.
00:25:18Shhh.
00:25:31Mmm.
00:25:35Mmm.
00:25:40Oh.
00:25:44Shhh.
00:26:01Mmm.
00:26:15Mmm.
00:26:16What are you doing?
00:26:17I'm pumping.
00:26:18Pumping?
00:26:19Pumping.
00:26:20It was going fast.
00:26:22Ah!
00:26:23I'll save you, senor.
00:26:24I'll save you.
00:26:25You're putting your hands on me again.
00:26:26You're really done this time.
00:26:27No, no.
00:26:28I was only trying to feel.
00:26:29No, to rest you.
00:26:30You touched me with your hand, you boy.
00:26:31Which hand?
00:26:32Which one?
00:26:33No, no.
00:26:34You have some nerve.
00:26:35You did it again.
00:26:36I wasn't touching you.
00:26:37This time you'll wind up in jail.
00:26:38No, no.
00:26:39You're going to pay for this, you are.
00:26:40It'll be worse in jail.
00:26:41In jail.
00:26:42There are no women at all.
00:26:43Please, please.
00:26:44Pardon me, senor.
00:26:45I'm going to pass out.
00:26:46On my knees.
00:26:47Pretty please.
00:26:48All right.
00:26:49All right.
00:26:50I'll be generous.
00:26:51But, Filippo, you'd better not sleep again.
00:26:52This is your last chance.
00:26:53Last chance.
00:26:54You must remember that between your social station and mine, there is a chasm.
00:26:57A chasm.
00:26:58Unbridgeable.
00:26:59Unbridgeable.
00:27:00Now you put all the things into the car again and take me home, Filippo, because you ruined
00:27:03the day.
00:27:04Not to mention senor Luciano, who never showed up.
00:27:06Luciano?
00:27:07Did I have the day?
00:27:08That's between him and you.
00:27:09Okay?
00:27:10I'm not taking the rap because senor Luciano stood you up.
00:27:13If I were only able to say just what I think.
00:27:15If I could tell you.
00:27:16Sure, Filippo, say.
00:27:17You're a contestant.
00:27:18Yes.
00:27:19I'm just a piece of dirt.
00:27:20However, I'll say it anyhow.
00:27:21I think your senor Luciano is an asshole.
00:27:23And with all due respect, also a prick.
00:27:25Listen.
00:27:26Listen here.
00:27:27You're not allowed to talk about senor Luciano that way.
00:27:28No, I?
00:27:29No.
00:27:30Stop it.
00:27:31Luciano, you're an asshole.
00:27:32And also a P-R-I-C-K.
00:27:33An asshole in the pot.
00:27:34No, no, no, no.
00:27:35I've never had such vulgarity in my life.
00:27:36I'll ram this up his bazooka and kick his butt off.
00:27:37No.
00:27:38No, Filippo, no.
00:27:39No.
00:27:40You leave senor Luciano alone.
00:27:41Come on, let me have him.
00:27:42This hot-blooded Sicilian has had enough.
00:27:43Get control of yourself.
00:27:44Put down the pump, will you?
00:27:45No, I want the pump up.
00:27:46Down with the pump.
00:27:47Put the pump up.
00:27:48What are you trying to do?
00:27:49Pump, Filippo, pump.
00:27:50Pump, Filippo.
00:27:51I tell you now.
00:27:52It's too late, Cortessa.
00:27:53Help.
00:27:54Shout.
00:27:55Shout all you like.
00:27:56No one can hear you.
00:27:57There's something down there.
00:27:58I'm sure it's Cortessa.
00:27:59Filippo.
00:28:00The pump.
00:28:01We are pumping.
00:28:02The pump, eh?
00:28:03Oh, that.
00:28:04Hey, you're a brute.
00:28:05I admit that.
00:28:07I'd like to know just how far you intend to carry this.
00:28:08I'm a hot-blooded Sicilian.
00:28:09That's your answer.
00:28:10Do you intend to rape me?
00:28:11I do.
00:28:12I do.
00:28:13Well, at least turn me around.
00:28:14Cortessa.
00:28:15Oh, my God.
00:28:16That face looks like a savage.
00:28:17A seething cognate of lust.
00:28:18What if senor Luciano arrives?
00:28:19I'll ball him too.
00:28:20You're a sadist.
00:28:21He is a sadist.
00:28:22A monster.
00:28:23A monster.
00:28:24A bit of Olga Clark.
00:28:25A bit of Olga Clark.
00:28:26Now move over.
00:28:27You're such an animal.
00:28:28Yeah, I'm an animal.
00:28:29Couldn't you whisper something sweet in French?
00:28:30Like, you know, after all, you are raping a lady.
00:28:31Yeah, en fonce.
00:28:32Oui, oui.
00:28:38My next chauffeur will speak proper French.
00:28:39You don't live up to your references.
00:28:40Yeah, you're something other than you seem to be too.
00:28:41What's that?
00:28:42What?
00:28:43No, no, lady.
00:28:44You're a whore.
00:28:45All right, yes, I'm a whore.
00:28:46Bitch.
00:28:47Bitch.
00:28:48Rolls-Royce.
00:28:49No, a whore is still a horse.
00:28:50You're a...
00:28:51Why have you made love in other Rolls-Royces?
00:28:52Not only Rolls.
00:28:53Jaguar.
00:28:54Bentley.
00:28:55Lamborghini.
00:28:56Lamborghini, sure, sure.
00:28:57Citroen.
00:28:58Maserati.
00:28:59Coupe.
00:29:00Coupe is much too tiny, isn't it?
00:29:01Yeah, that's right.
00:29:02Chevrolet.
00:29:03Chevrolet.
00:29:04The thing you need is traction.
00:29:05Oh, yes.
00:29:07All-terrain.
00:29:08All-terrain.
00:29:09Jack shot.
00:29:10Bentley.
00:29:11Bentley's a nice color.
00:29:12Citroen.
00:29:13Citroen, I think you said that one.
00:29:14Lamborghini.
00:29:15Lamborghini, yeah.
00:29:16Land Rover.
00:29:17There's a whole Fiat line.
00:29:18Phil.
00:29:19Yeah, Maria.
00:29:20Didn't work, huh?
00:29:21Didn't do any good, did it?
00:29:22You were...
00:29:23No.
00:29:24No.
00:29:25It's okay, Phil.
00:29:26It's okay, Phil.
00:29:33Let's see now.
00:29:35That's 200, 210, 220, 21, 22, 23, 24.
00:29:44That's the change.
00:29:45That's what you've got.
00:29:46They're new minted coins.
00:29:47They're really nice and shiny.
00:29:48For a total of 325.
00:29:50You owe 227,200 lira.
00:29:53You couldn't make a little discount, huh?
00:29:55No, I couldn't.
00:29:56If you went over the mileage, it's not my fault.
00:29:58It's not his fault.
00:29:59You mean you're going to argue about 2,800 lira?
00:30:01I warned your wife about the mileage.
00:30:02Besides, I lost money.
00:30:04Because you got back late, I lost out on a wedding.
00:30:06I could have made a half a million in three hours.
00:30:08Poor guy, we made him lose out on a wedding.
00:30:10Here you are.
00:30:113,000 lira and you can treat yourself to a coffee.
00:30:13Listen, I don't need your insults.
00:30:15Listen, we paid you your money.
00:30:16You got your dough in full.
00:30:17I mean, no need of your shit either.
00:30:19I'm the one that lost all the money thanks to you two.
00:30:21What do you want?
00:30:22Get me out of here, please.
00:30:23This guy's going to get his back in his face.
00:30:24Take your old clothes and shove it up your ass.
00:30:26Go on, get out of here, you two-bit countess.
00:30:28And take that chicken shit husband of yours with you.
00:30:32Take it easy, Theo.
00:30:38I'd like to know just who you're calling chicken shit.
00:30:44He said that to you.
00:30:45That's right, wife.
00:30:47To me, he said to me.
00:30:49No, I just wanted to be clear on who you meant, that's all.
00:30:52Never mind, sweetie.
00:30:53Come on, I wouldn't want you to dirty your hands on the big lug.
00:31:01I'm going to need a chicken shit.
00:31:02I think we'd better walk her to the first stop.
00:31:06You're a lucky guy.
00:31:07My wife was here to stop me.
00:31:08Otherwise, I'd climb all over you and you'd end up in a hospital.
00:31:11As a matter of fact...
00:31:12Go, chicken shit.
00:31:14A half a mind...
00:31:15Come on, Theo, get in the car, let's go.
00:31:17A half a mind.
00:31:22He's wrong to think they finished.
00:31:24No, Phil, no.
00:31:25You're not nearly finished, he's right.
00:31:26We'd better find a solution to this shame.
00:31:28Look, Maria, don't start nagging.
00:31:29It's not as if I didn't try.
00:31:30Nag, nag, nag, nag.
00:31:31Okay, I know, I nag you.
00:31:33Only we've done all this since the Arab slave girl.
00:31:35You were supposed to play the sultan.
00:31:36Instead, you did the eunuch.
00:31:37It's just how it turned out.
00:31:38Why must you always play the eunuch?
00:31:39I don't like it either.
00:31:40The professor with the college girl in the miniskirt.
00:31:42That didn't work either, huh?
00:31:43I've done the countess with her old droids.
00:31:45Nothing, nothing.
00:31:47Maybe if I was a hooker, that would solve your problem.
00:31:49Come on, you know what it is.
00:31:50The attachments I felt for Luigi,
00:31:51that was the real cause of the trauma.
00:31:53I know what the doctor said.
00:31:54Only you realize it's eight months since that fish died.
00:31:56Yeah, but he was no ordinary fish.
00:31:57He had a personality of his own.
00:31:59Smartest fish in the whole country, yeah.
00:32:01I'm tired of hearing of goldfishes.
00:32:03I want a piece of cod.
00:32:04How many more scenes we got to play like today?
00:32:06It is not all my fault.
00:32:08You know, I hate to tell you,
00:32:09but your performance today was not the least convincing.
00:32:12Indeed, you might say it was bad, not sharp at all.
00:32:14You might take a little refresher course, huh?
00:32:16A little refresher course in acting?
00:32:18Face it, Maria, it was a lousy performance.
00:32:20What do you mean, a lousy performance?
00:32:22Now, be frank.
00:32:23Me, who always did the least at my school, at my school?
00:32:25I even won a prize for Greek legend.
00:32:27The real truth is the handball is you.
00:32:29It's you that's boring.
00:32:30Diana, I'll tell you.
00:32:32In my opinion, you're a faggot.
00:32:33Yeah, because you're not slutty enough
00:32:34when you play the slut, do you understand?
00:32:36You're not slutty enough.
00:32:37The doctor said that sluttiness may be the thing I need,
00:32:39but I can't get you to be dirty.
00:32:41What was that word you just used?
00:32:43I said faggot, you heard.
00:32:45You call me a faggot?
00:32:46Yeah, why don't you just admit what you are, eh?
00:32:49Why don't you admit that you are, you're a closet queen.
00:32:51That's you.
00:32:52A closet queen, me?
00:32:53Yeah, a queen in a closet.
00:33:02Maria.
00:33:04Yes, dear?
00:33:05That's it.
00:33:06What that's it?
00:33:08That's it.
00:33:10Filippo, that's it.
00:33:11You thought I was a eunuch.
00:33:13I knew you'd come through.
00:33:15Maria.
00:33:16Yes?
00:33:17Oh, Maria.
00:33:18Not here in front of everyone in the middle of traffic.
00:33:20The doctor said to do it the minute our friend is home.
00:33:23Phil, you better get started then.
00:33:25Are you ready, Maria?
00:33:26I'm more than ready.
00:33:41They are refusing to stop themselves.
00:33:42Shall I bring the car in or leave it at the motel?
00:33:44It's over and all that jazz.
00:34:15I miss your Snow White boys, my darling.
00:34:20They're the best pair of sucky wuckies in the world.
00:34:25Damn it!
00:34:26My life is becoming a nightmare.
00:34:29I don't believe it.
00:34:30I'm in a pub.
00:34:31I don't believe it.
00:34:32I'm in a pub.
00:34:33I'm in a pub.
00:34:34I'm in a pub.
00:34:35I'm in a pub.
00:34:36I'm in a pub.
00:34:37I'm in a pub.
00:34:38I'm in a pub.
00:34:39I'm in a pub.
00:34:40I'm in a pub.
00:34:41I'm in a pub.
00:34:42I'm in a pub.
00:34:43I don't believe it. I mean, it's ridiculous.
00:34:45At first, but then you get used to it.
00:34:47Never!
00:34:49I can't even take a walk by myself.
00:34:51Every time I turn around, there's you,
00:34:52hiding behind my back like a...
00:34:54like a midnight skulker.
00:34:56That's why I'm here.
00:34:57So you don't have to turn around,
00:34:58so nothing can come skulking up behind you and...
00:35:00Ah!
00:35:03Why don't you look where you're going?
00:35:05No, miss, you gotta warn me when you're gonna stop.
00:35:07Otherwise, we're gonna have a collision every time.
00:35:10I've got to be the bodyguard.
00:35:11I thought that was your job.
00:35:13Look, miss, I'm the best bodyguard in the whole of Chicago.
00:35:15Hey, gumshoeing is my line.
00:35:17I'm a regular Sam Spade, right?
00:35:19Well, now, if you was nearly kidnapped last month,
00:35:22it was because you hired a card player.
00:35:25Everybody knows card players don't make good bodyguards.
00:35:27Look at me. When I sleep, I don't sleep.
00:35:29When I eat, I don't eat.
00:35:31When I'm laughing, I'm not laughing.
00:35:32When you think I'm looking ahead, I'm looking behind me.
00:35:36Hi. You want a cigarette?
00:35:38No. You ain't training, huh?
00:35:40So, anyway...
00:35:43I'm a 360-degree bodyguard.
00:35:45Damn it!
00:35:47Damn it!
00:36:11Alex?
00:36:13Hmm?
00:36:16Must you eat nothing else but carrots?
00:36:19Vitamin A.
00:36:20Reinforces the optic nerve. It's good for the eyes.
00:36:40Thanks.
00:37:10No, thanks.
00:37:12I was just going to buy that.
00:37:33What are you doing?
00:37:35Are you crazy?
00:37:36Guarding bodies it's one thing, but...
00:37:38I'm sorry. I have to do it.
00:37:39What do you mean? Can't you wait until... what? What is it? What's the matter? What are you going to do with the picture?
00:37:51No, no, no, no, no! The picture! There too?
00:37:54Could be sharks. Could be a midget and an aqualung. You can't be too careful.
00:37:58In the toilet? In my toilet? A shark? I don't believe it.
00:38:04Hey, hey! Look who's in my clothes! Oh, my God! I don't believe it! Now, come on!
00:38:12Would you mind going... What are you doing now?
00:38:15I saw that! My perfume!
00:38:18Oh, now, don't say it, Marina. Don't say it. Just cool it.
00:38:22Listen, could you just... Now, what are you doing?
00:38:26Stick!
00:38:29Oh, my God! I don't believe this guy! He's crazy!
00:38:37Hey! What? What? Now, wait a second!
00:38:42No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! What about your jurist checklist?
00:38:47No! No! No, no, no! Go back to Chicago!
00:38:54Hey, what an eye! Hey, Miss Marina, look, don't give me a hard time. I got a hard enough job as it is.
00:39:00Well, don't abuse your job. Abuse it? But this soap could have been poison.
00:39:04Poison? No, it tastes pretty good. And how dare you come in here and look at me?
00:39:09I don't look. When I look, I don't see. In my job, it makes no difference if Boyd's dressed, she's undressed. I don't care.
00:39:15Now, look, to me, to me, you are just an object. An object? And that's all I am to you, an object, yeah?
00:39:20But not even an object. An animal. A dog. A guard dog.
00:39:26A guard dog? Yeah. If your dog was to come in here and see you in the bath now, would that worry you?
00:39:31Well, that's a different thing. It's a dog. It's another thing.
00:39:34So call me Fido. Oh. Okay, Fido.
00:39:38Going. Out! Good dog. Good boy. Out!
00:39:43I'm going. Just don't get any crazy ideas, that's all.
00:39:47Out! Yeah, I'm going. I'm going.
00:39:58It's for your own good, baby. All this kidnapping. I know, but this is impossible.
00:40:03Daddy, my life is becoming a nightmare. Honest. It just takes a bit of getting used to.
00:40:07I can't get used to it, I tell you. It's... Everywhere I turn, he's there. I swear.
00:40:12I... He could be here. He could be here anywhere, spying on me right now.
00:40:17Daddy, please. Get somebody else. I can't do that. He'd be offended.
00:40:21Besides, he was recommended by an important American friend of mine.
00:40:24What has that got to do with it? We're not in America now.
00:40:27Come on, Daddy. If you love me... Of course Daddy loves you, baby.
00:40:31How can you say that? Daddy loves you to bits, you're Daddy's little girl.
00:40:34Also, if they snatched you, it would cost Daddy lots of money. I know.
00:40:38Daddy works hard for his money money. Daddy breaks his ass for it.
00:40:41Daddy breaks a lot of asses for it. And he doesn't intend to shell out a ransom just because I'm stupid.
00:40:45Okay. Okay. I can't guarantee anything. I can't promise you. I'll try. Okay?
00:40:52That's my good little girl. Bye-bye.
00:41:09Pardon me.
00:41:12Did you lose something?
00:41:20Go right in. This way, please.
00:41:32Double check.
00:41:35La Femme Soulaire.
00:41:38La Femme Soulaire. You have such a talent for the titular.
00:41:42As long as you don't write it, I'm a fool.
00:41:45What's this one called? Coitus. But it's still not finished.
00:41:48I had to suspend the work on it temporarily. Coitus Interruptus?
00:41:52Fantastic, huh? You mean him or his statues?
00:41:55Hence, Dilly. What do I care about this junk?
00:41:58Even though it's unfinished, it shows a definite creative force.
00:42:02I find it has a delicate sense. I think that he's a very pure artist.
00:42:06Really pure. Untouched by the consumer, to start.
00:42:09Sure.
00:42:12Is it true, maestro, that you use very ancient technique to get your results?
00:42:15Chalk, plastic, and a special cement that dries quickly.
00:42:19When that shell is filled, we'll have Coitus complete us.
00:42:25Ciao, Marina. Ciao.
00:42:28I can understand your father's fierce kidnapping. Hi. Hello.
00:42:31Hey, but really, it's like a border. It's that search of your bodyguards.
00:42:34You ought to talk to him, you know?
00:42:37Honestly, at the airport in Tel Aviv, you don't get such a good feel.
00:42:40Yeah, he's awfully thorough, isn't he?
00:42:49Young lady.
00:42:52What's the matter? You look surprised. What did you find?
00:42:55It's all mine.
00:43:01It's funny. You don't look Jewish.
00:43:09Alex! Alex, what on earth are you doing?
00:43:12Move back. Move back.
00:43:15Alex, these are my friends.
00:43:18That's neither here nor there, Marina.
00:43:21Alex, you're insane. I'm sorry. I'm doing my job.
00:43:24No exceptions. I'm sorry, Miss Marina.
00:43:27It isn't me. It's my father's idea.
00:43:30Oh, my God.
00:44:00Oh, my God.
00:44:31Now, look, you've got to decide.
00:44:34Either you look at this one or that one.
00:44:45Ow!
00:44:48Alex! Damn it!
00:44:51Excuse me a second.
00:44:54Alex, you've got to help me, okay?
00:44:57I really, really want to be by myself.
00:45:00I really dig this guy.
00:45:03Alex, please. Please, Alex, I beg you. Please.
00:45:10Please, for me.
00:45:13Okay. I respect your privacy under the circumstances.
00:45:16I'll use the Indian method.
00:45:19I'll stay out of sight, but that's all I can guarantee.
00:45:22Okay.
00:45:57He disappeared.
00:46:00I know, but I don't know. I keep feeling him somewhere.
00:46:03Out of sight, out of mind.
00:46:06Yeah, I know, but he might show up any second.
00:46:27Oh, my God.
00:46:57Oh, my God.
00:47:27Oh, my God.
00:47:57Oh, my God.
00:48:14What happened?
00:48:17Nothing serious. He hit his head on my bat.
00:48:20He won't bother us for a while.
00:48:23too hard did you too hard he's not breathing he's dead he's dead but he's
00:48:33still staring at me shut his eyes rest in peace
00:48:37oops they keep following me all the time it's only rigor mortis of the eyeballs
00:48:46you killed him and I'm an accomplice in the murder well I didn't mean to kill
00:48:51it's the same thing we're gonna go to prison both of us where there is a will
00:48:54there is a way Oh what and I'm a Sicilian
00:49:22this is the way we do it in Sicily you get a lot of Pratt exciting bodies there
00:49:31tomorrow we'll report this disappearance and forget about it
00:49:51our sculptures ready for sending it's all taken care of poor Alex he has such
00:50:13beautiful eyes let's say that he contributed his body to art what am I
00:50:17gonna tell my father don't worry about it Marina stay calm everything will turn
00:50:22out all right understand yeah good
00:50:28the statue what are you gonna do with the statue I'll send it to America did
00:50:32you miss a more modern art a gift from the artist look at it this way we have
00:50:36immortalized him okay
00:51:17Oh
00:51:47Oh
00:52:17Oh
00:52:47Oh
00:53:17Alex think positive we're alone here drink this you'll feel much better what
00:53:37is it a nerve relaxer you're too tight my lord
00:53:47I hear your ghost come to haunt me ghost my ass
00:54:17something's a funny here come on you follow me
00:54:47Oh
00:55:17Oh
00:55:47Oh
00:56:17Oh
00:56:47Oh
00:57:17Oh
00:57:19Oh
00:57:47Yeah
00:57:49who's got
00:57:51who's got
00:57:53and surely can see it
00:57:55be there
00:57:57is there a man there
00:57:59nine bone
00:58:01is it in Italian
00:58:03yeah bone
00:58:05I often come to in there
00:58:07to Switzerland on business
00:58:09disturbing
00:58:11disturbing
00:58:13now see here why don't you tell me what you want
00:58:15but make it fast
00:58:17I can explain the whole thing in five minutes
00:58:19please sit down make yourself comfortable
00:58:21all right proceed
00:58:23it's been quite some time now
00:58:25I've been taking your street here
00:58:27I take it all in winter in fall
00:58:29I like spring best of all
00:58:31and what do I always see I see a vision there
00:58:33today you were outside like a sunflower
00:58:35and I suddenly said to myself
00:58:37what's the matter with you
00:58:39and I heard me answer
00:58:41you live only once and that's a fact
00:58:43and so
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