- 4/30/2025
Frasier Season 2 Episode 10 Burying A Grudge
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TVTranscript
00:00where have you been we're on in two minutes forgive me but i was busy preparing your schedule
00:15for tomorrow you've got lunch with the station manager you're recording a psa at three o'clock
00:21and don't forget to send flowers to your sister-in-law in the hospital yes maris's facelift
00:26really i didn't know she needed one well she doesn't actually nothing wrong with maris
00:33it wouldn't be cured by a little son some exercise and a personality
00:37what are those oh just extra copies of your schedule why are you running down to the xerox
00:48room for extra copies of my schedule wouldn't have anything to do with that new intern would
00:53what's his name eli ross he's probably all of 19 that's legal well cuckoo kachoo mrs robinson
01:04the guy is so gorgeous you just want to bite him all over haven't you seen him no i've been eating
01:14out lately not seriously thinking of dating him are you why is it all right for older men to date
01:22younger women but it's not okay for older women to date younger men don't make the rules ross i just
01:28enjoy them
01:31hello seattle this is dr fraser crane kacl 780 i'll be with you for the next three hours so let's get
01:43straight to it ross who's our first caller on line one we have linda she's calling from her car phone
01:49hello linda i'm listening oh dr crane my husband and i are right in the middle of a fight
01:56you see we're on our way to the antique mart we're obviously lost but he refuses to stop and ask for
02:04directions yes well linda this is a common source of friction among couples some men feel the need to
02:14be in control they see asking for help as a sign of weakness oh everybody knows that look the reason
02:21i called was to ask how the hell do we get to the antique mart from cherokee and 14th street
02:27i don't need any directions i know where i am we're lost walter face it we're lost well this isn't
02:37normally the kind of advice i give but let me see i've lived in seattle most of my life from cherokee
02:44and 14th you would want to uh dr kern i have a map right here oh no thanks ross i don't need any help
02:50eddie put that down it's disgusting why do animals always drag these things into the house oh you've
03:02gone what is it a rat no it's a stupid doll found it in the park and he carries it everywhere
03:10he never did this kind of stuff before you had him fixed
03:15hello fraser thought you'd be at the hospital with maris uh i'm on my way down there now
03:23poor maris she's so worried she hasn't had much hospital experience except the usual childhood
03:29things you know tonsils adenoids force feeding
03:33what's wrong with mrs crane oh it's nothing serious cosmetic surgery her chin her lips her cheeks
03:46eyelids maybe it'd be faster if you just told us why she's leaving alone
03:52you know if you want my opinion this is just vanity no it's not vanity dad it's insecurity
04:00it's easy to understand how women can fall victim to our culture's worship at the altar of youth and
04:06beauty precisely women over 40 can't help but feel unattractive if they don't have perfect hair
04:13porcelain skin limpid eyes
04:19pouting lips the voluptuous contours of a goddess
04:36i'm sorry i've forgotten what my point was
04:43oh i know just what you mean dr crane i fell victim to that pressure myself once
04:49i had a mole removed where just south of manchester
04:54i meant where on your body so did i
05:08so what time is the surgery tomorrow first thing in the morning which is why i'm here
05:15i know i'm being silly and and i'm sure everything's going to be fine but i was wondering if i might have
05:19your moral support down at the hospital yeah sure no problem thank you well i said better be off
05:28hey niles not that it's any of my business but uh how much is this whole thing setting you back
05:34somewhere in the neighborhood of 25 000
05:38jeez for an extra five grand you can get a whole new wife from the philippines
05:49uh
05:58oh dr craig dr sternstein excuse me for a moment your wife is still in recovery but everything went
06:06splendidly so you can see her in a few minutes thank you doctor all right mrs patterson
06:12did you hear that fraser he said everything went fine he's an incredible plastic surgeon
06:21did you see that woman whoever mr patterson is he's a very lucky man maybe that was mr patterson
06:32say niles guess whose room i passed by on the way down the hall
06:39marty walsh
06:40dad's dad's old partner yes apparently sent for some tests last week and the results weren't very
06:49good oh no i always liked him yeah i still remember inviting us to his house for weenie roasts when we
06:58were kids i'm sure he remembers you too asking for a salad in his spas
07:03you think dad knows he's here oh i doubt it you think he wants to know probably not
07:15i haven't spoken in years i don't suppose you got arty to tell you what their big fight was all about
07:22no it's just as tight-lipped as dad is although with a little arm twisting i did get him to admit
07:27it was all dad's fault hey you guys should really try the cafeteria here they got a new chef he's from
07:36yemen so many of the great ones are dad you know who's in the hospital here arty walsh he's not at all
07:48well yeah one of the guys told me they may have to scoop out half his intestines here taste this meat
07:56loaf it's got just the right amount of chewiness no thank you uh you're gonna go see him well can't
08:03think of any good reason why i should because he was your best friend and now he's sick hey he never
08:09came to see me when i took that bullet and i was lying there with stuff flowing in and out of tubes
08:15and drains from every bodily opening at least taste this gravy dad we are talking about a few minutes
08:23out of your life just just long enough to sit there and have a little chat with a very sick man i
08:28don't see why that's so impossible for you now come on believe me you'll be glad you did
08:33hey listen sonny boy that sanctimonious tone may wow him on the radio but it doesn't cut any ice with
08:40me when i say no that's just what i mean i'm not sitting and chatting with arty walsh
08:48i already thought as much why what did he say he said he wouldn't have the guts to go see him
08:54he said that yeah and he snickered a little well i got news for him i got the guts
09:01i got twice the guts he has and after his surgery tomorrow i'll have four times the guts
09:07arty it's me again
09:19martin
09:21arty
09:24the minute you heard you were in here he insisted on rushing right over didn't you dad
09:27yeah well said you were in pretty rocky shape
09:39well they've been saying a lot of things
09:41well uh marty how's it been going okay good small steps
09:57sorry you light up thanks it's nice of you to come by
10:07well i guess somebody had to be the big man yeah what what's that supposed to mean i think you know
10:15what that means no why don't you tell me what it means it means i'm being a lot bigger than you were
10:21when i was in here you mean when you had that lousy bullet in your hip hey that lousy bullet hurt pal
10:26not enough oh we don't want to tire well it's too bad you never took a bullet it might have improved
10:32you just be glad you didn't take it in the butt it could have caused brain damage oh you always want
10:39the last word don't you not with you i don't want any words well that's too bad because i got a couple
10:44a real choice why i'm dead next time we'll stay longer
10:56stop staring at me like that i didn't touch your damn doll
11:11look even if i didn't know i i did it for your own good you're becoming the joke of the park even
11:27the poodles were laughing at you
11:29oh all right there
11:45gotta get that dog a gi joe
11:52yes yes maris i'm sure no no you can't gain weight from a glucose iv
11:59no no my little worry wart there's no such thing as a nutrasweet drip
12:14just just try and close your eyes and go to sleep good night puppy toes
12:22is everything okay with your wife actually no she can't get along with any of her nurses
12:29honestly i'm at a loss to understand our reputable hospital can hire nothing but troublemakers
12:35yes the little sisters of mercy have always had that reputation
12:45dad didn't get a chance to ask you how did your reunion with arty go
12:49lousy
12:50if you don't mind my asking what started this bad blood between the two of you
12:57he spread a rumor about me through the department
12:59about what
13:03none of your business oh come on no i don't want to talk about it subject closed
13:08must have been pretty bad oh yeah must have been on the take
13:19more likely drugs drugs drugs yes drugs or sex
13:26could be sex
13:27all right it was worse than any of that
13:32he told people i cried at brian's song
13:42you're god you always think that's the kind of thing that happens to other people's fathers not your own
13:53well i wasn't crying
13:55crying me and artie was sitting at dukes watching the movie and
14:00i got some pretzel salt in my eye
14:04already thought it was the funniest thing in the world next thing i know he's telling everybody
14:08then i become the joke of the department
14:11other cops left kleenex on my desk they call me boo-hoo crane
14:16well i suppose i can understand you're being upset with him but what's he so cheesed off with you for
14:29well i i guess i'd let something slip about the size of his wife's behind
14:38beg your pardon she's got this gigantic rear end i mean it's enormous
14:43looks like she's shoplifting throw pillows
14:56and you felt compelled to share that with
15:00for 20 years i tried not to and then i guess one day i let my guard down
15:06we're both coming into the station house and he says hi and i says hi and he says how's the wife
15:11and i said at least she doesn't have an ass the size of albuquerque
15:21and that's it a 20-year relationship down the drain because of a little name calling
15:27no there's more to it than that i mean arty always had to have the last word always
15:36couldn't leave well enough alone
15:38i couldn't let sleeping dogs lie
15:47you think it was all over and then he'd start saying something again
15:50look can we drop this party obviously still has an attitude and i got better things to do than
15:59sit around a hospital room taking abuse oh god i'm due back with maris
16:04oh if uh if anyone needs me i'll be sleeping at the hospital tonight why
16:14uh maris's doctor feels it's more soothing for the patient to duplicate the home environment as
16:19closely as possible so i slipped a pearl-handled revolver under her pillow and got myself a room across the hall
16:37i think we'd better say a little prayer for the night nurse
16:42you know it's such a shame your father and his friend just can't let bygones be bygones
16:47especially at a time like this i don't know what else to do he's just so damn stubborn
16:52oh maybe if i had a go at it you know in the past year and a half i've come to have a pretty
16:58good understanding of how the crane mind works when it works
17:06mr crane about your partner i don't want to talk about it anymore no no i just wanted to tell you
17:14i'm on your side after the way he treated you i'll say good riddance to bad rubbish damn right
17:21that's hard to see how you could have had any good times together well there weren't many
17:27well occasionally we'd go fishing together that doesn't sound like much fun to me well not the way
17:32i did it but already got it into his head he was going to teach me even went out and bought this beat
17:39up old boat he always said after we retired would get more use out of it yeah well it seems awfully pushy
17:48of him to feist his interests on you oh it wasn't so bad i remember one time i bust my hump reeling in
17:56what turned out to be someone's old bedroom slipper you know what i already did just unhooked it and
18:02threw it right on the barbecue well i guess maybe it wasn't such a bad guy after all
18:14you know maybe you're right i listen to myself talk and i sound like a big fool
18:21thanks daphne you really opened my eyes i thought i might yeah i'm gonna march right down to that
18:30hospital by a big stuffed animal and then throw my arms around him and never ever let him go
18:38you really are a hateful old sod aren't you come on lady time for your walk
18:53hello yes it is
18:59oh i i see yes well i guess it isn't really a shock considering
19:05yes i'm sure they did everything they could
19:13thank you
19:17what was that
19:20we can talk about it later then
19:25was everything okay why do you ask
19:30well i don't know i hear you say i'm sorry and stuff like
19:33i'm sure you did everything you could and it's natural to be concerned
19:37thought that call was about arty didn't you no yes you did
19:42so what have i did well it just proves my point you still care about him all right suppose i do
19:48care about him suppose i do feel bad about this stupid fight and want it over what the hell can i do
19:53do
19:54well it's up to you but if you'd like i could drive you down to the hospital
20:02i don't need you to leave me and drive myself no you can't why not that was your mechanic your
20:08transmission's dead
20:21hearty
20:35oh jeez oh now look you guys got up on the wrong foot all right fraser i'll handle this
20:41arty
20:52will you turn the tv off i'll turn it down
21:00listen arty i'm uh
21:02i'm sorry about some of those things i said earlier okay
21:09maybe all of them
21:11i guess i was still a little steam that you never came to see me in the hospital
21:16i didn't come by because well i just didn't think you'd want to see me
21:21of course i wanted to see you that's what my wife said oh yeah loretta
21:32it's nice of you to come by and i know it's not easy especially for someone as stubborn as you
21:49are me stubborn hey listen pal i'm not the one who always has to have the last
21:55you're right arty
22:02i am stubborn
22:04and it wasn't easy thanks martin
22:09listen uh arty and i have a couple of things to talk about so you know if you uh
22:15you'll just wait outside it'd be a lot easier no problem dad anything i could say right now would
22:19just be irrelevant one thing you learn as a therapist is once things are working well between
22:24people that anything else you can say would just be so what's a rotten old cop like you doing in a
22:37joint like this believe me it wasn't my idea this is not how i expected things to end
22:43what are you talking about and you're gonna be out on the street raising hell before you know it
22:48i don't know my the doctors aren't exactly tossing their hats up in the air over this one hey my sons
22:55are doctors they don't know nothing now listen you gotta get yourself out of here okay
23:02because we got a lot of lost time to make up for can you sell up that stupid boat oh yeah
23:09yeah i hung on to it we'll say that damn thing yeah hey arty remember the time you barbecued the
23:19bedroom slipper i kept telling you stuff always tastes better when you catch it yourself
23:27fraser what are you doing here oh i finally got arty walsh and dad talking again of course i did have
23:41to resort to some cheap manipulative pseudo psychology always go to your strengths
23:47what about you looks like you've bought out the entire gift shop maris should be pleased oh this
23:59isn't for maris it's for her nurses uh
24:04they're having a meeting right now to discuss her care and from what people tell me a hospital strike
24:09can be ugly visiting hours are over gentlemen oh thank you i'll go around up there excuse me
24:21do you work on my wife's floor mrs maris crane yes i do i'd like you to have these chocolates
24:31i'm on the night shift i'm on the night shift and this lovely watch
24:37you get another phone call about your dad's transmission
24:58your dad told me about that well all i was doing was yeah yeah i knew what you were doing thanks kid
25:08see you soon sure okay now we got a deal all right as soon as you got sprung from this joint you're
25:18going to give me some serious fishing lessons if i get out when you get out you can't have the last word
25:24on this one see you marty see you all right bye bye take care
25:37take care stay loose
25:51see you arnie
26:04see you
26:18see you marty
26:32hey baby i hear the blues are calling tossed salads and scrambled eggs
26:43oh my and maybe i seem a bit confused well maybe but i got you pegged
26:50but i don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
27:00they're calling again
27:04good night
27:12you
27:14you
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