- 29/04/2025
Speak Easily is a 1932 American pre-Code comedy film directed by Edward Sedgwick. The story follows Professor Timoleon Zanders Post, a shy and sheltered Classics professor, who mistakenly believes he has inherited a fortune. Emboldened by his newfound "wealth," he leaves academia and embarks on an adventure to experience life. Along the way, he encounters a struggling dance troupe and decides to finance their Broadway debut. Chaos ensues as the professor navigates the world of show business, romance, and eccentric characters, leading to a series of hilarious misunderstandings. The film stars Buster Keaton, Jimmy Durante, and Thelma Todd, showcasing their comedic talents in this lighthearted romp.
Credits:
Director: Edward Sedgwick
Producer: Buster Keaton
Starring: Buster Keaton, Jimmy Durante, Thelma Todd, Ruth Selwyn
Screenplay: Clarence Budington Kelland (story), Robert E. Hopkins
Cinematography: Harold Wenstrom
#SpeakEasily1932 #BusterKeaton #ClassicHollywood #ComedyFilm
Credits:
Director: Edward Sedgwick
Producer: Buster Keaton
Starring: Buster Keaton, Jimmy Durante, Thelma Todd, Ruth Selwyn
Screenplay: Clarence Budington Kelland (story), Robert E. Hopkins
Cinematography: Harold Wenstrom
#SpeakEasily1932 #BusterKeaton #ClassicHollywood #ComedyFilm
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The
00:00:30Hey, Jenkins, you know if Professor Post will be back soon?
00:00:53In any moment, pal, Mr. Tanner.
00:01:00How do you do, Professor Post?
00:01:11Oh, good evening.
00:01:12Uh, morning.
00:01:13I mean, afternoon.
00:01:15Oh, yes, yes, yes.
00:01:17I have read your papers on Aristotle.
00:01:19We will now have a complete survey.
00:01:22Well, uh, Professor Post, this is drag day, and can't we...
00:01:30Uh, we'll continue tomorrow.
00:01:32Oh, thanks, Professor.
00:01:44Good afternoon, Professor.
00:01:47Oh, good afternoon, Jenkins.
00:01:49Everybody's happy and excited over the drag.
00:01:52Will you be going, sir?
00:01:53Oh, no, no.
00:01:54I'd rather sit here and read Aristotle.
00:01:56You know I'm lying, don't you?
00:02:09Yes, sir.
00:02:12The reason I'm not going is I wasn't invited.
00:02:15If you'll pardon me, sir.
00:02:17Your loneliness is self-inflicted.
00:02:19Being constantly lonely creates a sort of, uh, an inferiority complex.
00:02:29Ah, poor old Professor Ferguson was like that.
00:02:33He lived here alone with his nerves.
00:02:37Couldn't sleep nights.
00:02:40I don't sleep very well myself.
00:02:42I have twitches.
00:02:44Yes, that's what Professor Ferguson told me in this very room.
00:02:49The night he shot himself.
00:02:53Shot himself?
00:02:55Yes.
00:02:56In that very chair.
00:02:57I know because I helped to pick him up and lay him on that couch where he died.
00:03:16Professor, if you'll only go out and find life, you'll enjoy living it.
00:03:30Oh, but, Jenkins, how often have I told you that that requires money?
00:03:34And I have saved in 12 years exactly $4,564.23.
00:03:44It makes sense.
00:03:47I'm saving that for a rainy day.
00:03:49Yes, sir.
00:03:50Poor Professor Ferguson said that.
00:03:53And it rained the day they buried him.
00:04:00I have thought of getting a broadening experience.
00:04:03But a person in my position can't very well afford to indulge in whims.
00:04:10I'd love to rub elbows with the outside world.
00:04:12And become a, uh, uh, uh, Napoleon.
00:04:19He was about my size, too.
00:04:21Yes, sir.
00:04:22Well, I hope you'll forgive me, sir, but this letter came this morning.
00:04:44I was so occupied with the other gentleman that I neglected to leave him.
00:04:50Tis well.
00:05:19Jenkins! Jenkins! Jenkins! Jenkins! Jenkins!
00:05:24What happened, sir?
00:05:27Look. Come here. Come here.
00:05:29Look. Look. See if that says I fell heir to $7,500.
00:05:34Oh, you're mistaken, sir. It says you've inherited $750,000.
00:05:41$750,000?
00:05:44Get my trunk. Get my trunk. Get my trunk.
00:05:48What are you going to do, sir?
00:05:49Get my trunk. What did I do with that letter? Where's that letter?
00:05:51What did I do with it? Where's that letter?
00:05:52It's in your hand, sir.
00:05:53Never mind. I'll look for it myself. Get my trunk out.
00:05:56He's here. He's here.
00:05:59What are you going to do, sir?
00:06:01I'm going someplace. I don't know where yet, but I'll find it.
00:06:05$750,000. I'll meet people. I'll see things.
00:06:10I'll buy companionship.
00:06:13I'm going to draw all my money out of the bank.
00:06:16I am.
00:06:17You don't want to take a lamp for yourself.
00:06:19No, you can get the bait in, sir.
00:06:23Come on. When you get this stuff aboard, the train don't stay here all day.
00:06:28Hey, why don't you stop squawking, Reno? You're no gardenia.
00:06:33Oh, yeah? No wonder the show does only $42 last night.
00:06:37What the troop needs is a comedian.
00:06:39Say, where do you get that stuff? Didn't you hear them clap when I came out?
00:06:42They wasn't clapping. They was only killing mosquitoes.
00:06:45Well, how do you like them onions? Why, my gags goled them. You can't say they didn't.
00:06:49You haven't got a gag that did a giggle.
00:06:51Yeah? Well, how about this one?
00:06:53A guy goes into a second-hand store and he says to the man, he said, is this a second-hand store? And the man says, yes. Then the guy says, well, give me a second hand for my watch.
00:07:03If I was laughing, I'd stop. Well, I'm a mackerel without any fins. Yeah.
00:07:10I'll tell her that little guy with the face. Come on.
00:07:24Good morning, stranger. Good morning. Why must we be strangers? My name? I want to tell you new one. A guy goes into a second-hand store and he says to the man, is this a second-hand store? And the man says, yes. Then the guy says, well, give me a second hand for my watch.
00:07:43Was he furnished with the second hand? It's too subtle. It went over his head like a trapeze act. Say, here's one you can't miss. In Scotland, the movie theaters are billing Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde as a double feature.
00:08:02You know, Dr. Jekyll had double features. Why, the guy ain't got no education. Come on.
00:08:12Come on. Don't you want to try another one?
00:08:27Oh, I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you?
00:08:30No, no.
00:08:35I hope it's not damaged. Oh, it's all right.
00:08:38I am Professor Timoleon Zanders Post, late of the faculty of Potts College.
00:08:43Gee, this is the first time I ever met a professor.
00:08:47You're an actress, aren't you?
00:08:48Well, I'm a dancer.
00:08:50What a coincidence. You know, I have made an exhaustive study of Greek dancing.
00:08:55How interesting.
00:08:56Pansy, come on, you're going to miss the train, Pansy.
00:08:58Oh, I'll assist you.
00:08:59We need no assistance. Come on, Pansy.
00:09:01Come on, Pansy.
00:09:09Come on, get aboard here.
00:09:10I'll make him translate that.
00:09:12Come on, Pansy.
00:09:13Come on, Pansy.
00:09:14Come on.
00:09:15Come on.
00:09:16Come on, Pansy.
00:09:17Come on, Pansy.
00:09:18Come on, Pansy.
00:09:20All right, all right.
00:09:21Look at Papa.
00:09:22Look at Papa.
00:09:23Look at Papa.
00:09:24Look at Mama.
00:09:25Hurry up and put that up.
00:09:26Shut up.
00:09:27Here.
00:09:28Come on.
00:09:30Managio.
00:09:31Come on.
00:09:32Managio.
00:09:34Managio.
00:09:35I'll never again, I'll never again.
00:09:38What's the matter? Do you want me having trouble?
00:09:41Let me try to help you.
00:09:47I couldn't help you.
00:09:50That's it. Now we're set.
00:10:00Now you're all right. Now you're all right.
00:10:05You take care of him for once.
00:10:11Durban.
00:10:12Pansley.
00:10:20Say, Reno, how about a little rummy?
00:10:21Okay. Hey, Tony, you want to play a little rummy?
00:10:24No, Jimmy, I got a hold of the baby.
00:10:27I got a hold of the baby. Fine.
00:10:30I got a take care of the baby.
00:10:32Well, the rose, I'll wash the face in the front.
00:10:35I don't mind holding the baby if the father cares to participate.
00:10:38Fine, Professor.
00:10:40You hold him like this.
00:10:43Thank you. You give him this, please.
00:10:46What a break, huh?
00:10:47What a break.
00:10:48Jimmy.
00:10:49Hey, Jimmy, play nice, please.
00:10:51Give me that.
00:10:53Play nice.
00:10:54Oh, Professor, Mario takes to you.
00:11:05You must have babies of your own.
00:11:07No, I have never been a father.
00:11:09But, of course, I understand the fundamental principles of the thing.
00:11:12Oh, Jimmy, can't you try and be a little refined?
00:11:24That's right. You're fundamentally correct.
00:11:26Jimmy.
00:11:27Jimmy.
00:11:28Stop the train. Stop the train immediately.
00:11:42There's been a terrible oversight.
00:11:45There must be an accident.
00:11:49What is it, pal? Where's the accident?
00:12:07Here it is. They forgot to put it on the train.
00:12:09What?
00:12:10You mean to say you held up this train on account of that trunk?
00:12:12Naturally.
00:12:13Well, get back on board. We're pulling out right now.
00:12:15Wait a minute. You can't do that. It ain't legal.
00:12:17This little guy has got a right to have his trunk.
00:12:19And why didn't you put it on?
00:12:21I never even seen the trunk.
00:12:23Oh, don't equivocate.
00:12:24What?
00:12:25What did he say?
00:12:27Don't equivocate.
00:12:28Listen, I don't take that kind of language from you or any other little runt.
00:12:32That calls for drastic action.
00:12:34Uh, James, hold the baby.
00:12:38I'll give you one minute to apologize.
00:12:40What?
00:12:41Oh, Professor, keep your shirt on.
00:12:42Oh, I had no intentions of removing it.
00:12:44Please, you haven't got a chance against that big palooka.
00:12:46What's the matter, my captain?
00:12:47What's holding the train?
00:12:48Why, that fellow, that train's in his trunk.
00:12:49Trunk?
00:12:50Nothing.
00:12:51You're 30 minutes late now.
00:12:52Pull out.
00:12:53You can't do that.
00:12:54It's a breach of contract.
00:12:55There's no check on his trunk.
00:12:57Well, what about it?
00:12:58This guy pays out his good dough.
00:13:00And is it his fault if a clock like you forget to put a check in his trunk?
00:13:03Say, listen.
00:13:04I told you I never even seen the trunk.
00:13:07And anybody says I did is a liar.
00:13:09Now, what are you making of that?
00:13:10There.
00:13:11Them's five-fingered words.
00:13:12Hold the baby.
00:13:13Listen.
00:13:14The professor, he's my friend.
00:13:17You put the trunk on, or I'll take the throat and squeeze it very much like this.
00:13:22Am I burn enough?
00:13:23Now come on.
00:13:24Am I burn enough?
00:13:25Just a minute.
00:13:27Check the trunk.
00:13:28Where's your check, Professor?
00:13:29Check?
00:13:30What check?
00:13:31Your trunk check.
00:13:32I have no...
00:13:33You mean to say...
00:13:34You have to check it.
00:13:35Show him your ticket.
00:13:36My ticket?
00:13:37Oh, in my excitement.
00:13:38I forgot to purchase one.
00:13:39All right, McCaffrey.
00:13:40Wait a minute.
00:13:41You can't do that.
00:13:42It's unconstitutional.
00:13:43Unconstitutional or not.
00:13:44There she goes.
00:13:45Come on, Professor.
00:13:46Come on, will ya?
00:13:47Oh, come on, will ya?
00:13:48Oh, come on, will ya?
00:13:49I got it.
00:13:50Come on.
00:13:51Get out of there.
00:13:52We're going.
00:13:53It's dead.
00:13:54Daddy!
00:13:55Daddy, do you have me up over here?
00:13:56Where's the baby?
00:13:57The baby?
00:13:58Yes, the baby.
00:13:59I forgot the baby!
00:14:00Where's the baby?
00:14:02Well, Jimmy!
00:14:03I forgot a baby.
00:14:14Where's the kid?
00:14:16Holy mackerel, I forgot her!
00:14:17Where's the kid?
00:14:20Holy mackerel, I forgot it.
00:14:23No, no, let the baby.
00:14:25I don't know.
00:14:26Let the baby look at me.
00:14:29Come up here, let the baby.
00:14:32Who gave that stuff?
00:14:33Who gave it that day?
00:14:34You, you, you.
00:14:37I did.
00:14:39Say, if you think we're going back after that trunk, you're crazy.
00:14:41It ain't the trunk, Chief.
00:14:43It's the baby.
00:14:43Baby?
00:14:44Whose baby?
00:14:45Yours?
00:14:45No, this is the father.
00:14:47Show him your check.
00:14:49The check?
00:14:50Come on.
00:14:51I got no check.
00:14:53No check?
00:14:53No, no check.
00:14:55Hey, my baby, get the...
00:14:56Come on, come on.
00:15:09Get on this train.
00:15:10Would you want to be here all day?
00:15:11Take the kid and get on this train.
00:15:13Hurry up.
00:15:14Get on this train.
00:15:14Let's get on.
00:15:15Think I want to be here all day?
00:15:17Come on.
00:15:18Board!
00:15:27Come on.
00:15:27Come on, what's the matter?
00:15:31Give me your trunk.
00:15:31Stop it!
00:15:32It's not worth it.
00:15:33Come on.
00:15:34Get it up there.
00:15:36Get it.
00:15:36Get it.
00:15:36Get it.
00:15:37Get it.
00:15:37Get it.
00:15:37Get it.
00:15:37Get it.
00:15:38Get it.
00:15:39Get it.
00:15:40Get it.
00:15:40Get it.
00:15:40Get it.
00:15:41Get it.
00:15:41Get it.
00:15:42Jenkins. Good morning, Dr. Bolton. What can I, uh, what can I do for you? Dr. Bolton, you know about
00:15:49Professor Post's inheritance? Yes, indeed. I've been made very happy by it. And I, I've been made
00:15:56most unhappy by it, sir. Dr. Jenkins, what do you mean? Dr. Bolton, I've done an awful thing.
00:16:03Professor Post didn't inherit $750,000. He didn't inherit anything. I wrote him that letter.
00:16:12Oh, Jenkins. How could you do such a thing? I thought I'd help him, sir. He's been a very lonely man.
00:16:20No friends, no companionship. And I wanted to, to do it for his own good, sir. I am tremendously
00:16:27fond of him. But he's learned everything except how to live. Oh, I've done a terrible thing, sir.
00:16:36I wonder if you have done such a terrible thing. I wouldn't worry, Jenkins. He's drawn out his
00:16:44life saving, sir. And I hadn't figured on that. Forget it, Jenkins. Nothing very serious can
00:16:50happen to be so conservative a fellow as, uh, Professor Post.
00:17:00Well, here's my bus. Goodbye, James. Goodbye, Professor. Hope we meet again. Lots of luck.
00:17:12Get on this side. Oh, Professor, I didn't get a chance to say goodbye.
00:17:15Goodbye, Miss Pansy. We may meet at some future time, per chance. Not per chance. Fast chance. That's
00:17:21the worst of trooping. Pansy! If I should ever meet up with a friend and he should want to write
00:17:26me a letter, it would reach me care of the billboard. Which billboard? You know, troopers pay for
00:17:32Cincinnati. I'll make a note of that. You're going to miss this spot. Well, goodbye, Professor.
00:17:39Don't do anything I would. What's your name? Whose name? A young lady. Pansy. Pansy what? Pansy
00:18:01Pansy! Pansy! Pansy! Pansy? Pants! Pansy Pete! Pansy Pete! HANSYPERBILERBILERBILERBILERBILDS
00:18:31When is the next train for Chicago?
00:18:56Well, there's a train tonight, about nine o'clock.
00:18:59Thanks.
00:18:59Only trouble is, it don't stop here.
00:19:05Then I will have to go to a hotel.
00:19:08Is there a vehicle around?
00:19:10No.
00:19:11No, there's a bus, though.
00:19:13There's a hotel bus that makes the depot.
00:19:17Only trouble is, it don't run no more today.
00:19:23How far is it to the village?
00:19:25Oh, about two and a half miles as a crow flies.
00:19:32Only trouble is, I'm no crow.
00:19:35No.
00:19:45Just a second.
00:19:46Just a second.
00:19:53Sir, would you allow me to ride with you?
00:19:55You're darned, Kilton.
00:19:57Hop right in.
00:19:58Can you direct me to the opera house?
00:20:24You're standing right in front of us.
00:20:26You're standing right in front of us.
00:20:27You're standing right in front of us.
00:20:29Nothing.
00:20:29Give me my hand.
00:20:34Give me my hand.
00:20:36What are you doing?
00:20:37How are you doing?
00:20:39All right.
00:20:39You're standing right.
00:20:40Now we're looking for people.
00:20:41All right.
00:20:42I'm here to see you.
00:20:43All right.
00:21:14Well, how are you, Professor?
00:21:19What a love of Mike.
00:21:20How did you get here?
00:21:22Oh, I was vibrated here in a most unusual vehicle.
00:21:26Gee, I'm glad to see you.
00:21:27I'll see you after the show.
00:21:28I'll see you after the show.
00:21:58I'll see you after the show.
00:22:28I'll see you after the show.
00:22:30I'll see you after the show.
00:22:34I'll see you after the show.
00:22:36What about Prince Emilio?
00:22:37My heart is light.
00:22:39I'll see you after the show.
00:22:40What do you think of that?
00:23:04Well done, Anchovio.
00:23:07You've said it, Prince.
00:23:08You've said it.
00:23:10And now, my cackle and love.
00:23:14I will love you always.
00:23:22Let out and cheer no more,
00:23:25To these good times are here now.
00:23:29Oh, to the bad part,
00:23:32I'm the best, but happy and proud.
00:23:36Come on,
00:23:38The rain's looking under.
00:23:41Come on up,
00:23:42The American people
00:23:44And a man of the kid
00:23:46All our kids
00:23:48Put their hands are here
00:23:51Right round.
00:23:56We're ahead.
00:24:22It's stupendous.
00:24:24Come on back, professor, and give the folks a kick.
00:24:26A kick?
00:24:27Why?
00:24:28I thought they performed beautifully.
00:24:32You slay me with your crack.
00:24:34Come on back, professor.
00:24:36You murder me.
00:24:41Come on, professor.
00:24:49Get the thing.
00:24:50Oh, Miss Pansy, I can't tell you how much I enjoyed your dancing.
00:25:01Thank you, professor.
00:25:03Yours was purely the porphyry of motion.
00:25:06Well, it's never been called that before.
00:25:09In fact, the entire entertainment was not only enjoyable, but instructive.
00:25:15I predict big things for it.
00:25:17Girls.
00:25:18Come on.
00:25:18Now, wait a minute.
00:25:19Wait a minute.
00:25:20Lay off there, Jake.
00:25:22Nothing leaves this opera house.
00:25:24Who says so?
00:25:25Share for Lincoln County.
00:25:27This here stuff's all attached.
00:25:28Bill for $250.
00:25:35Hotel Hastings.
00:25:36You're going to satisfy this attachment?
00:25:40Well, you see, chief, what I wanted to do is...
00:25:43Yeah, that's enough.
00:25:43Come on, Tom.
00:25:44All right.
00:25:45Come on, gal.
00:25:46Let it.
00:25:46Come on, now.
00:25:46Get off that trunk now.
00:25:47That's the law.
00:25:48What's the matter, Miss Pansy?
00:25:50Oh, it's nothing, professor.
00:25:52Really.
00:25:52Well, but you're crying.
00:25:58Is it because of this uncouth fellow?
00:26:01Well, they're going to take our trunks away from us and everything.
00:26:05Yeah, well, I'm going to put a seal on them trunks.
00:26:07I'm going to put a seal on that door.
00:26:09Now, get off that trunks, all of you.
00:26:10One moment, please.
00:26:11One moment.
00:26:13Your manner is very offensive, and I'm free to say I do not like you.
00:26:16Don't wear them to see you.
00:26:23Right here, Sheriff.
00:26:25Don't start anything, professor.
00:26:27Right down.
00:26:28You know you're not going to get the first face out of him with a John Law.
00:26:31I repeat, I do not like him.
00:26:33James, pay this man and send him away.
00:26:36Yeah?
00:26:37With what?
00:26:38Us and the house just split 28 bucks tonight.
00:26:41I will lend you the money.
00:26:44You wouldn't clown with me, would you?
00:26:46That's beside the point.
00:26:47I wish to pay this man.
00:26:52One.
00:26:53Two.
00:26:58A fifty.
00:27:00Correct.
00:27:01Thank you, Doc.
00:27:02Goodbye, folks.
00:27:04Come on, Tom.
00:27:04Goodbye, Gail.
00:27:06Gee, professor, that was a decent thing for you to do.
00:27:09Well, that's perfectly all right, James.
00:27:11Yeah, but what I want to know is how are we going to get to the next town?
00:27:14I guess we'll walk.
00:27:20Well, James, if you're in need of further assistance, well...
00:27:25Don't you do it, professor.
00:27:26You keep your money in your pocket.
00:27:28Say, what's the idea?
00:27:30I don't care.
00:27:30I think it's a shame to trim a stranger like that.
00:27:32He ain't no stranger.
00:27:33He's a pal.
00:27:34Well, he helped you out of one hole, and now you're willing to take him for more.
00:27:37I ain't trying to take him.
00:27:39No?
00:27:39Well, how will he ever get his money back?
00:27:41I got it.
00:27:42Professor, to show you that I'm on the level, I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do.
00:27:45I'm going to let you take over the show and manage it.
00:27:48But I know nothing whatsoever about the show business.
00:27:52Well, who does?
00:27:53That's what makes it a great game.
00:27:55It's packed full of wallops.
00:27:56It would be a broadening experience.
00:28:01You said it.
00:28:02Running a show is one of the most broadening experiences there is.
00:28:05But unfortunately, I am going to New York.
00:28:08My trunk is on the way.
00:28:13I have the solution.
00:28:16I'll go to New York.
00:28:18And take the show with me.
00:28:20You mean to say you're going to put this in the Broadway theater?
00:28:23Why not?
00:28:23It's an excellent show, and I like it.
00:28:25Can you swing it?
00:28:28I mean, you got the mazuma?
00:28:29The what?
00:28:30The sugar.
00:28:32I mean, the kale.
00:28:33You know what kale is, don't you?
00:28:35Yes.
00:28:36Kale is a vegetable resembling a cabbage.
00:28:38Listen.
00:28:39What I want to say is, have you got the kush?
00:28:41The kopecks?
00:28:43The o'day?
00:28:44The cartwheels?
00:28:45Can someone tell me what he's trying to say?
00:28:48He's trying to ask you if you've got enough money.
00:28:51Well, I don't know.
00:28:53I only have $750,000.
00:28:56$750,000.
00:28:59Grand what?
00:29:00Don't let's start it again.
00:29:03We will embark on the first train in the morning.
00:29:05Go on, Jimmy.
00:29:06Jimmy.
00:29:08Hey, you, don't pick that drop up in the middle.
00:29:10That's big time stuff you're handling.
00:29:12That stands New York.
00:29:13New York.
00:29:14What a town.
00:29:16Broadway.
00:29:18What a street.
00:29:19Boy, I've been waiting for years to get a crack at them Broadway bozos.
00:29:22And now I'm set.
00:29:23I know, Don, well, I can do it out Broadway.
00:29:31But can Broadway do it out mean?
00:29:35Hell, I'm somewhere.
00:29:37Clown the circus.
00:29:37Temple Park.
00:29:39Strange means the heart of the world.
00:29:40I have once dreaded to be friendless on Broadway.
00:29:44Just be broke and look.
00:29:46But after they take one glance at me and my adornment, there's no doubt.
00:29:49Well, I can do it out Broadway.
00:29:51But can Broadway do it out mean?
00:29:54No, no.
00:29:55Can Broadway do it out mean?
00:29:57I'm sorry, but, uh, Don, don't...
00:30:01I would say joy, Promp.
00:30:03Good morning, everybody.
00:30:04Oh, James, we've been waiting for you.
00:30:06Mr. Rayburn has seen our entertainment.
00:30:08I have seen your show, but not your entertainment.
00:30:13Well, what did he mean?
00:30:15Oh, he's kidding.
00:30:16Oh, I'm not kidding, Professor.
00:30:17Broadway stands for a lot of baloney, but it will never digest a piece of tripe like this.
00:30:23I don't understand.
00:30:24Oh, I suppose not.
00:30:25Then I'll try to make myself perfectly clear.
00:30:28After 30 years of stage directing, this is the worst show I have ever seen.
00:30:33I went over all right, didn't I?
00:30:36Oh, you'll be all right after I've toned you down and polished you up.
00:30:40Well, I think James is exceedingly funny.
00:30:43Say, I killed him at Clay Center.
00:30:46Yeah, well, in New York, it'll probably be the reverse.
00:30:50Are you incinerating?
00:30:51Now, wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:30:53I'm willing to take over this show.
00:30:55But it's got to be built up from nothing.
00:30:58So we'll start with him.
00:31:00We've got to build and build and build till we put some sense into the thing.
00:31:06What about comedy?
00:31:07Why, we could take something from the Greek.
00:31:12What Greek?
00:31:14Why, Aristophanes is very humorous.
00:31:17I never caught his act.
00:31:18But there's a million Greeks in New York.
00:31:20I'll take something from them.
00:31:22What are you talking about?
00:31:23The professor wants to take something from the Greek.
00:31:25I think it's a great idea.
00:31:27We've had Chinese, Hawaiians, Shavish of Lappins.
00:31:31Why not the Greeks?
00:31:33Well, all right, all right.
00:31:35Now, another thing about Miss Pete's, I'm afraid Broadway is not quite ready for you.
00:31:42Meaning, of course, that I'm not quite ready for Broadway.
00:31:46Oh, I'm afraid you won't do.
00:31:48Won't do what?
00:31:49She won't do for this show.
00:31:51Her style of dancing went out with his jokes.
00:31:55Miss Pete's dance is unusually well.
00:31:58Well, I'm sorry, but the audiences won't think so.
00:32:01Oh, he's right, Professor.
00:32:03It's okay.
00:32:04I'll bow out.
00:32:05That's the way to talk?
00:32:07That's not the way to talk.
00:32:08Miss Fancy, I insist that you remain with us.
00:32:11In fact, it was your artistry that decided me in giving financial support to this company.
00:32:17You shall dance as planned.
00:32:19Oh, it's one of those things.
00:32:22Well, why didn't you tell me in the first place?
00:32:26It's all right, Professor.
00:32:28It's all okay.
00:32:29I got you now.
00:32:30I got you now.
00:32:32It's all right with me.
00:32:35Did he mean a...
00:32:40Yeah, it's an old Greek custom.
00:32:43Mr. Rayburn.
00:32:47Jimmy, just a minute.
00:32:54Say, Jimmy, don't you think we ought to give this thing up?
00:32:57Give what up?
00:32:58This show.
00:32:59You know we're not good enough for Broadway.
00:33:00Don't be funny.
00:33:02Everybody has to start, and that's what we're doing.
00:33:04Yes, but it isn't fair to make the experiment with the professor's money.
00:33:07He's taking the chance, not us.
00:33:09Say, he's getting a kick out of this.
00:33:11He's having fun.
00:33:12Suppose he did lose 60 grand.
00:33:14He's got 750.
00:33:15Miss Pete, Mr. Rayburn wishes you to report at the rehearsal hall.
00:33:20I have enlightened him, and he now has a keener appreciation of your dancing.
00:33:25Oh, Professor, you're...
00:33:30Gee, you're sweet.
00:33:40Well, what did she mean?
00:33:42There's something about you, Professor.
00:33:44There's something about you.
00:33:45Where's the guy that's putting on this brawl?
00:33:54Who wants to know?
00:33:56Eleanor Aspare, the personality girl.
00:34:04Miss Eleanor Aspare.
00:34:06And personality.
00:34:07Uh, send them both in.
00:34:09Get a load of that.
00:34:16Big time sex appeal.
00:34:18Is there any truth that they say outside?
00:34:20That there's a million dollars behind the show?
00:34:22There is not.
00:34:24I thought so.
00:34:25The regular hooey.
00:34:27There's only 750,000.
00:34:29Oh, Professor.
00:34:36I hope you'll excuse me for asking questions.
00:34:40But after all, a young girl has got to know who she's doing business with.
00:34:43Oh, that's all right.
00:34:45That's all right.
00:34:46Say, what Broadway show were you with last season?
00:34:49Uh, the Sunrise Supper Club.
00:34:50Say, I put that saloon on its feet.
00:34:53Made it New York's hottest night spot.
00:34:55And when I first went there, ha, it was a speakeasy.
00:34:59Speakeasy?
00:35:00Yeah, speakeasy.
00:35:02Speakeasy.
00:35:04You have unconsciously committed a solacism.
00:35:08You should purify the verb and say, speak easily.
00:35:13Speak easily?
00:35:15Speak easily.
00:35:16It's here.
00:35:17It's here.
00:35:18It's here.
00:35:19Has something arrived?
00:35:21I'll say it has.
00:35:22The title for our show, speak easily.
00:35:25Oh, pretty good.
00:35:27What do you mean, pretty good?
00:35:29It's perfect.
00:35:30Speak easily.
00:35:31Oh, but, Professor, to get back to me, I've got everything.
00:35:37Everything?
00:35:38And, you know, I got medals for acting when I went to finishing school.
00:35:42Oh, what finishing school did you attend?
00:35:45Um, Notre Dame.
00:35:47Notre Dame?
00:35:48Notre Dame is not co-educational.
00:35:51Oh, well, I was very young.
00:35:56And, you know, I can not only troop, but I can wear them.
00:36:00Wear them?
00:36:01Yeah.
00:36:01What I mean is tight.
00:36:03You know, I got legs.
00:36:04I assumed as much.
00:36:10Oh, assume nothing.
00:36:12Say, get an eyeful of this.
00:36:15Sign her up, Professor.
00:36:16Get away from you, Professor.
00:36:18She's great, I'm telling you.
00:36:20If you see this game, he...
00:36:21Well?
00:36:21Oh, come on down.
00:36:30Come on down, fast.
00:36:32Right, just down there.
00:36:34Throw your leg out.
00:36:35Have you all got rheumatism?
00:36:38Oh, you're right.
00:36:39You're right, Jack.
00:36:40What's the matter with you?
00:36:41Keep firing.
00:36:41Keep firing.
00:36:42Go back up.
00:36:43Go back up.
00:36:44Keep firing.
00:36:47What a day.
00:36:48What a day.
00:36:49Throw in some, yeah.
00:36:51Oh, never mind, Dad.
00:36:52Never mind.
00:36:53What about the music for the rowing number?
00:36:55The rowing number?
00:36:56Yeah.
00:36:58I wrote that this morning.
00:37:00Get a load of this melody.
00:37:13You wrote that this morning?
00:37:16Yeah.
00:37:17It's something they remember.
00:37:19Yeah, I remember it already.
00:37:22You know, they'll come out of the Theater of Westland, that tune.
00:37:26They'll go into the Theater of Westland.
00:37:29It is slightly reminiscent of singing in the rain.
00:37:32No, this is different.
00:37:36Well, Professor, how is that?
00:37:38The song is very good, but the dance is anachronistic.
00:37:41A what?
00:37:42The postures and movements are not early Greek.
00:37:45No?
00:37:45Well, I will show you the dance as performed in Athens.
00:37:49Young ladies.
00:37:54Now, follow me.
00:37:56It's here.
00:38:12It's here.
00:38:13It's here.
00:38:14Has something arrived?
00:38:15Has something arrived?
00:38:17I'll say it has.
00:38:18A tune.
00:38:19A melody.
00:38:20Professor, Professor, you're marvelous.
00:38:23You inspire me.
00:38:24This tune came from the depths of my soul.
00:38:26Get a load of this.
00:38:27We can't consider it.
00:38:35Why?
00:38:36That's old Susanna.
00:38:38It won't be after I'm finished with it.
00:38:41Isn't it?
00:38:42But that's plagiarism.
00:38:44No, that's Speak Easley.
00:38:46The theme song for our show.
00:38:49Speak...
00:38:50Just a minute, Jamie.
00:38:51Just a minute.
00:38:51I think I know what the professor wants.
00:38:54Does it go something like this?
00:38:55That's something like it.
00:38:59Only there should be more sinuosity of the hips.
00:39:02Such as a...
00:39:03Oh, you mean like this.
00:39:11Now, that is authentic.
00:39:17Uh-huh.
00:39:17But it would be much more effective if you were in the nude.
00:39:20Professor, Professor, that's out. No nudes.
00:39:25But, James, it was done so in Athens.
00:39:28Yeah, they might get away with that in Athens.
00:39:30That's a college town.
00:39:32Oh, Professor, I think I can do the dance for you.
00:39:35And I've got just the costume.
00:39:37A little bit here, you know, and the beads there in my dressing room.
00:39:40Now, come along and I'll show it to you.
00:39:41It's the darlingest thing you've ever thought.
00:39:43There's not very much to it, you know.
00:39:45It's just right across here and there's a few beads right there.
00:39:49Oh, Professor, right this way.
00:39:52Oh, yes, it's a lovely...
00:39:55You know, I've been wanting to talk to you for a long, long time.
00:40:01We should have some place where we can just sort of get together and talk things over.
00:40:07Why, we already have such a place. My office.
00:40:13Oh, Jimmy, don't be still.
00:40:16And I was thinking that I would give you the key to my apartment.
00:40:21So that when you felt like it, you could just run up and we could, uh, have a cup of tea.
00:40:28Very well. If I should ever feel the need of a cup of tea.
00:40:31Of course, I won't be able to pay for the rent right off the start.
00:40:40That is, until the show opens.
00:40:42But if I were to send you the bill, you'd take care of it, wouldn't you, Timmy?
00:40:48That's customary?
00:40:49All right, everybody, out for the trio.
00:40:52Oh, Jimmy.
00:40:54Oh, Jimmy.
00:40:57Oh.
00:40:59Oh.
00:41:00Oh.
00:41:01Oh.
00:41:02Oh.
00:41:05Oh.
00:41:08Oh.
00:41:10Ha, ha, ha.
00:41:15Hey.
00:41:17Professor!
00:41:31Oh, good afternoon.
00:41:33What have you been doing without a spare woman?
00:41:36We had a business conference pertaining to the rental of her apartment.
00:41:40Did she ask you to pay her rent?
00:41:42Yes.
00:41:44That's something I neglected to do.
00:41:46I didn't know it was customary.
00:41:49Professor, you come inside a minute.
00:41:51I want to talk to you.
00:42:01She kissed you, didn't she?
00:42:03Oh, yes.
00:42:04You know she's a very appreciated girl.
00:42:07Well, did you kiss her back?
00:42:09Kiss her back?
00:42:10Oh, you know what I mean.
00:42:12Did you return her kiss?
00:42:14No.
00:42:15Is that customary?
00:42:16Oh, never mind.
00:42:18What else did she do?
00:42:21Why, she generously gave me the key to her apartment.
00:42:25Oh, she did?
00:42:27You know, one would hardly expect such hospitality in a big city.
00:42:30Oh, Professor.
00:42:32Don't you understand what she means?
00:42:34Oh, yes, she told me that any time that I wanted to come to her apartment, I could have a cup of tea.
00:42:41Oh.
00:42:42Well, I'll tell you what you do, Timsy.
00:42:44Any time you feel the need of a cup of tea, you come to my apartment.
00:42:48You know, I prefer cocoa.
00:42:54Come in, Timmy.
00:42:54Make yourself right at home.
00:42:56Oh, Marie.
00:42:57Marie.
00:42:58Marie.
00:42:59Marie.
00:43:00Marie.
00:43:01Oh, dear old servant, you just can't keep them.
00:43:04You don't mind if I do this myself, do you?
00:43:05Oh.
00:43:06Oh.
00:43:07Oh, come, Timmy.
00:43:08Come, come.
00:43:09I'll take your hat and your umbrella.
00:43:10Oh, it's a coat.
00:43:11Say, now sit down.
00:43:12Oh, dear old servant, you just can't keep them.
00:43:13Oh, dear old servant, you just can't keep them.
00:43:14You don't mind if I do this myself, do you?
00:43:16Oh.
00:43:27Oh, come, Timmy.
00:43:28Come, come.
00:43:29I'll take your hat and your umbrella.
00:43:33Oh, it's a coat.
00:43:35Say, now sit down.
00:43:42Say, now while we're waiting for my brother, we'll have a talk, a real intelligent talk,
00:43:50because I've got a mind.
00:43:52Yes?
00:43:53Oh, yes.
00:43:54I can hold the interest of a man like you.
00:43:58Tell me, Timmy, have you ever seriously thought of marriage?
00:44:04Yes.
00:44:08That's why I'm single.
00:44:11Oh.
00:44:12Well, supposing we have a nice little drink, eh?
00:44:15Oh, thank you.
00:44:16I never drink.
00:44:18Oh, I know, but a little Tom Collins won't hurt you.
00:44:23Uh, what is the nature of this, uh, Thomas Collins?
00:44:27Oh, um, it's sort of like, uh, lemonade, only it's made from limes and a dash of that and a dash of that.
00:44:33Sort of like a fruit combo, you know?
00:44:37Very nice.
00:44:43Sort of radiates a glow.
00:44:46Oh, Timmy, and that's what you need, a glow.
00:44:50Oh, no, no, no.
00:44:51You stay right here.
00:44:52I won't be a moment.
00:44:53Oh, no, no, no.
00:44:54You stay right here.
00:44:55I won't be a moment.
00:44:56I won't be a moment.
00:45:01Oh, no, no, no.
00:45:02Oh, no, no, no.
00:45:03You stay right here.
00:45:05I won't be a moment.
00:45:06Oh, no, no, no.
00:45:07Oh, no, no.
00:45:08You stay right here.
00:45:12I won't be a moment.
00:45:14Give-a-boo!
00:46:23You want to take a bath?
00:46:28You can crack wise, can't you?
00:46:31I can pound in a little drink for you.
00:46:47Ooh.
00:46:48Well, here's to you and me, Professor.
00:46:53Oh, honey, I'm going to pass down any minute to me.
00:47:07Oh, honey, I'm going to pass down any minute to me.
00:47:20Any minute.
00:47:21Oh, bring your arms around me, honey, and give a great big hug, huh?
00:47:26I don't understand you.
00:47:28Oh, no?
00:47:29Oh, well, it goes up to my fist.
00:47:32Now, watch.
00:47:33Oh, no, you do want those under hidden.
00:47:37You must never catch anyone with glasses, honey.
00:47:40Now, take a big, sweet breath.
00:47:44Oh, honey.
00:47:49Hey.
00:47:49Hey, everything's all right now, isn't it?
00:47:55I don't understand you.
00:47:56Oh, tell me, you'll pay the rent, won't you, honey, huh?
00:48:01Rent?
00:48:01And then, yes, the rent, and then when you and I get around to it, why we'll be married?
00:48:07Oh, certainly not.
00:48:09Oh, tell me.
00:48:11Now, wait.
00:48:20Now, wait.
00:48:20What?
00:48:21Miss, Miss, Miss Spears?
00:48:23You, you, you've got to go home.
00:48:26Oh, I'm good, Mrs. Helps.
00:48:28Oh.
00:48:31Jimmy.
00:48:33Oh, Jimmy, I've lost my, Jimmy.
00:48:35Oh, Jimmy.
00:48:37Oh, there you are.
00:48:39Jimmy.
00:48:39Oh, wait a minute, honey.
00:48:44Little Nelly will help you.
00:48:46Wait a minute.
00:48:47Give me a...
00:48:48Wait a minute.
00:48:51Oh.
00:48:52Oh, Jimmy.
00:48:53Help me up.
00:48:54Oh, good.
00:49:01I know you're behind the couch.
00:49:05Jimmy.
00:49:06Come on.
00:49:07Oh, there you are.
00:49:09Oh, there you are.
00:49:32Yeah.
00:49:32Oh, there you are.
00:49:34Oh, there you are.
00:49:37Hahaha...
00:49:47Ah, hockey! Hockey! Hockey, hockey!
00:49:52It's awful good to have had you.
00:50:11You'll go right straight home.
00:50:13Oh, right, right straight home.
00:50:15I'll see you tomorrow.
00:50:19Good night.
00:50:22Good night.
00:50:52Good night.
00:51:22Good night.
00:51:23Good night.
00:51:24Good night.
00:51:25Good night.
00:51:26Good night.
00:51:27Good night.
00:51:28Good night.
00:51:29Good night.
00:51:30Good night.
00:51:31Good night.
00:51:32Good night.
00:51:33Good night.
00:51:34Good night.
00:51:35Good night.
00:51:36Good night.
00:51:37Good night.
00:51:38Good night.
00:51:39Good night.
00:51:40Good night.
00:51:41Good night.
00:51:42Good night.
00:51:43Good night.
00:51:44Good night.
00:51:45Good night.
00:51:46Good night.
00:51:47Good night.
00:51:48Good night.
00:51:49Good night.
00:51:50Good night.
00:51:51Good night.
00:51:52Good night.
00:51:53Good night.
00:51:54Good night.
00:51:55Good night.
00:51:56Good night.
00:51:57Good night.
00:51:58Good night.
00:51:59Good night.
00:52:00Good night.
00:52:01Good night.
00:52:02Good night.
00:52:03Good night.
00:52:04The whole thing seems like a dream.
00:52:07Gee, I hope nothing happens.
00:52:09There you go.
00:52:10You dames are always looking for trouble.
00:52:12What could happen?
00:52:14Is Professor Post here?
00:52:17No, we're waiting for him ourselves.
00:52:20Who are you?
00:52:21Well, I'm from his lawyer's office.
00:52:22I've got to see the professor right away.
00:52:24What about?
00:52:25Well, about a mythical inheritance of $750,000.
00:52:29Minical?
00:52:31What's that, Pansy?
00:52:32Mythical is something that doesn't exist.
00:52:35You mean a $750,000 that the professor's got, he hasn't got?
00:52:39That's just what I mean.
00:52:40We've made a complete investigation of the professor's claims and he hasn't got a dime.
00:52:47Gee, mister.
00:52:48You sure brought us some sweet news.
00:52:51And we're opening tonight.
00:52:53You mean you were opening tonight.
00:52:55Oh, Jimmy, we've got the professor in an awful fix.
00:52:57Since early this morning, we've been bombarded by people trying to collect for scenery, shoes and costumes.
00:53:03Listen, pal, if the professor's broke, there's only one chance for everybody to get their dough.
00:53:08Let the show open.
00:53:09It's bound to click and then we can pay off.
00:53:12Can't you do something?
00:53:13Oh, couldn't you?
00:53:14You know what I mean.
00:53:15Stall them off until after opening night.
00:53:18Well, there's only one chance.
00:53:19Get the professor out of the state immediately.
00:53:22Tell him to go over to Jersey for a little while.
00:53:23I'll do it.
00:53:25But remember, if he shows up at the theater tonight, somebody's going to slap an attachment on him and your curtain never will go up.
00:53:33I knew it couldn't happen.
00:53:36It was too wonderful.
00:53:39Poor professor.
00:53:40I wonder where he is.
00:53:42I went by the hotel and they said he hasn't been home all night.
00:53:45Good heavens.
00:53:46I'll bet he went for that cup of tea.
00:53:48Cup of tea?
00:53:50Jimmy, he's with that spare woman.
00:53:52He's been there all night.
00:53:53Yeah?
00:53:54I'll get him.
00:53:55Buck up, kid.
00:53:56I'm going to get the professor.
00:53:58He's going to get Jersey and Broadway is going to get us.
00:54:24Come on.
00:54:49What are you doing here?
00:55:07Oh, I remember.
00:55:10You spiked my drink last night.
00:55:12What happened after that?
00:55:14I don't know.
00:55:16Oh, oh, it's terrible.
00:55:19It's terrible.
00:55:20After a girl loses her reputation, she ain't hardly got anything left.
00:55:24What are you going to do?
00:55:26I can apologize.
00:55:29Oh, Timmy, do you remember saying last night that if a gentleman compromised a lady, that he had ought to marry her?
00:55:39Oh, it's my brother.
00:55:42What are we going to do?
00:55:44Maybe I can apologize to him.
00:55:46What are we going to do?
00:55:47What are we going to do?
00:55:49Tim, get in there.
00:55:50Quick, quick.
00:55:51Come, get in the bar.
00:55:52Get in the bar.
00:55:53Get in the bar.
00:55:53Get in the bar.
00:56:10Where's that man?
00:56:12What, Nell?
00:56:12Don't stall, Nell.
00:56:14There's a man here.
00:56:14He's been here all night.
00:56:15Oh.
00:56:16Oh, Nell.
00:56:17Nell.
00:56:20What would mother say?
00:56:22I didn't think you were that kind of a girl.
00:56:24Well, I've always acted like a lady.
00:56:26And when a gentleman spikes your drink, well, what are you going to do?
00:56:36James.
00:56:37Well, I'll spike him.
00:56:39No, no, you mustn't shoot.
00:56:42Come on.
00:56:43If you don't come out before I count three, I'll shoot.
00:56:47One, two, three.
00:56:51Put that gun away.
00:56:52Don't shoot.
00:56:53I'll marry her.
00:56:55Nell.
00:56:58Who are you?
00:56:59I'm a gentleman with scruples.
00:57:02And I'll marry her.
00:57:03Nell.
00:57:04Shut up.
00:57:05Say, who's making a sacrifice, you or me?
00:57:09And what right have you got to interfere with this girl's happiness?
00:57:12Honey, take all of me.
00:57:14I'll marry her.
00:57:44Reservations for Mr. Hendlock.
00:58:04Yes, sir.
00:58:04Yes, sir.
00:58:05Uh, you are.
00:58:06Thank you, sir.
00:58:07Mrs. Morrison's reservations.
00:58:09Morrison.
00:58:09Yes, three.
00:58:10If you were Burris, I'll go.
00:58:12Gee, that's great.
00:58:13Come on, Professor.
00:58:14Get right here.
00:58:18Uh-oh, James.
00:58:19Uh, I'll see you later at the theater.
00:58:22Yeah, yeah.
00:58:23See you later at the theater.
00:58:26Here.
00:58:27Take him to Jersey and keep him there.
00:58:28Okay.
00:58:29Go ahead.
00:58:30Step on it.
00:58:30Reno, Reno, why isn't somebody here to help me?
00:58:43Reno.
00:58:43Yes, sir.
00:58:44Yes, put it over there, will you?
00:58:46Reno.
00:58:46Yes.
00:58:47Where is that gadget you promised me?
00:58:49That gimmick?
00:58:50That, uh, that, that Magoo?
00:58:51Where is it?
00:58:52I got it, Mr. Rayburn.
00:58:53I guess it is.
00:58:54Yes, well, that round masking piece.
00:58:55Don't forget it now.
00:58:56Bring it here where it belongs and stay around where I can find you.
00:59:00Mr. Rayburn.
00:59:00What's the matter?
00:59:01I haven't got it my thing.
00:59:02Your what?
00:59:03My thing.
00:59:04Your thing.
00:59:05Well, what is it?
00:59:05Am I a mind reader?
00:59:06I got another job.
00:59:08I know, but tell me what you...
00:59:10Reno.
00:59:10What's your name?
00:59:10Reno, where are you?
00:59:12Yes, Mr. Rayburn.
00:59:13Take this guy and find his thing.
00:59:15Whatever it is, I don't...
00:59:16I'll get your scarf and I'll get you anything.
00:59:18Come on.
00:59:20What's the matter?
00:59:21Have you seen my dressing room?
00:59:22What's the matter with your dressing room?
00:59:24You should take a look at it and then ask me what's the matter with it.
00:59:26Am I supposed to rebuild the theater?
00:59:28Oh, how do you expect me to keep my nerves on?
00:59:31People on this side of me.
00:59:32People on that side.
00:59:33And me giving a performance tonight.
00:59:35You have got the best dressing room in the...
00:59:37I might...
00:59:38Reno.
00:59:38Reno.
00:59:39Where are you?
00:59:39Mr. Rayburn.
00:59:40Reno, take Mrs. Farron.
00:59:41Give her the star room.
00:59:42The star room.
00:59:44I didn't do it.
00:59:44You had a tough night.
00:59:45Oh, boy.
00:59:51They're pouring in.
00:59:52They're pouring in.
00:59:59Gee, it looks like a sellout.
01:00:00If we'd only give a good smooth performance tonight, the show might get by at that.
01:00:04Sure we will.
01:00:05Yeah, yeah.
01:00:07Say, who's that guy over there with the derby on?
01:00:09That fat-footed fellow?
01:00:10What's he doing in here?
01:00:11I knew something was going to happen, but I'll take care of him.
01:00:17All right, all right.
01:00:18Come on, ghost.
01:00:22Was you wanting something, mister?
01:00:23Yeah.
01:00:23Where's the manager of this show?
01:00:25How do I know?
01:00:26Well, you'd better find him.
01:00:28Here's an attachment.
01:00:29Joint action.
01:00:30Amount $10,000.
01:00:31$10,000?
01:00:34A mad bag it fell.
01:00:35Why, Professor Post will pay it the minute he gets here.
01:00:38If you'll just sit down and wait.
01:00:39I ain't waiting, young fella.
01:00:41I've got an injunction, and I'm going to close this show.
01:00:44Yeah, I know, mister.
01:00:46But you can't serve that paper on me.
01:00:48You've got to serve it to the owner of the show.
01:00:50That's what I'm asking you.
01:00:51Where's the owner?
01:00:52I'm telling you, he'll be here.
01:00:55Now, here's a nice chair.
01:00:57Just sit down and rest your feet.
01:01:10Don't hold me.
01:01:11Don't hold me.
01:01:12We've got to get the show on her.
01:01:13It'll be stopped before we start.
01:01:14Well, what's the trouble now?
01:01:17It's the law.
01:01:18Oh, Jimmy, right back where we were in Vicious Witch.
01:01:23Yeah, for Keeper Equilibrium.
01:01:25He's going to serve the professor, and the professor is in dear old Jersey.
01:01:30Here, I told you girls to stay off that piano.
01:01:34Stay off the furniture in this place.
01:01:37Here, here, here.
01:01:39Clear the stage, please.
01:01:40Clear the stage.
01:01:42You're a musician.
01:01:43Go on, get down for you.
01:01:44Leave the peanut for games alone.
01:01:46You've got work.
01:01:47Clear.
01:01:47Clear the stage, will you?
01:01:48Please, clear the stage.
01:01:50I want this thing.
01:01:51Go on, get off.
01:01:52Get in there.
01:01:59Pick up your guard.
01:02:02Reno.
01:02:03Yes, Mr. Rayburn.
01:02:04Why don't you show somebody where to put that thing?
01:02:08I want to congratulate you, and wish you all the success in the important honor.
01:02:13Come on, put your kid in there.
01:02:15Come on, girls.
01:02:15Come on.
01:02:16Come on.
01:02:16Come on.
01:02:17Get over there, will you, folks, will you?
01:02:19Come on, now.
01:02:21Where's that other guy?
01:02:22Hurry up, will you?
01:02:23It's Wildman.
01:02:24Up it, Wildman.
01:02:27You find my thing.
01:02:29You find my thing, please.
01:02:31I cannot do the job.
01:02:32And Rosa is not here to go to the carcass.
01:02:35Please.
01:02:36Get.
01:02:37Please, boy.
01:02:38Put me, please.
01:02:39Now, put.
01:02:39I think you're going to go to the carcass.
01:02:51Come on.
01:02:51Come on.
01:02:51We're late.
01:02:52We've got to get going.
01:02:56It's all over now.
01:02:57Why didn't you stay where you were?
01:02:59Oh, you...
01:03:00James, James, control yourself.
01:03:03You know, I was with a nil-informed taxi man who took me into a tunnel underneath the Hudson River.
01:03:08I realized immediately that he was not familiar with the geography of the city.
01:03:14And I said...
01:03:14That man.
01:03:19I will not permit strangers backstage.
01:03:22I'll object him immediately.
01:03:23No, no, Professor.
01:03:25Come on, would you?
01:03:27Get in there.
01:03:30What are you doing?
01:03:33Hey, fella.
01:03:46I've got to have action.
01:03:47Where's this boss of yours?
01:03:49I told you he'd be here any minute if you'd just sit down and wait.
01:03:55What kind of guy is he?
01:03:57Oh, tall man, blonde, dark glasses, and he walks with a limp.
01:04:02On account he's got a wooden leg.
01:04:05Oh.
01:04:10Get out of my way.
01:04:12What are you doing here?
01:04:13I told the professor to fire you.
01:04:16Listen, Miss Bear, I'm warning you.
01:04:17You leave the professor alone.
01:04:19What?
01:04:20Why, we're going to be married.
01:04:22If I didn't know you were lying, I'd shake the silly little head off you.
01:04:25I'll do it anyway.
01:04:26Stop it, you little fool, you...
01:04:28Professor!
01:04:29Professor!
01:04:30She's gone crazy.
01:04:32Miss Pansy, uh...
01:04:34Oh, you little nitwit, you!
01:04:39All right?
01:04:41Ready?
01:04:41Stop beyond your toes.
01:04:42Stop beyond your toes.
01:04:44All right, flash him.
01:04:46Bring it away.
01:04:51I want to know what happened last night and just what that woman means to you.
01:04:54Well, there was many things happening last night.
01:04:57But that woman means absolutely nothing to me.
01:05:00You're not going to marry her?
01:05:02Certainly not.
01:05:03Oh, Timothy!
01:05:14I should look out.
01:05:16You're on the stage!
01:05:17Ladies and gentlemen, as Lord Chesterfield said, unhonest error is to be pitied and not ridiculed.
01:05:47He's ruining the play.
01:05:53Ring down the curtain.
01:05:54Ring down.
01:05:55Ring down nothing.
01:05:56Keep waving that curtain, you.
01:05:58Can't you hear them laughs?
01:05:59Of course they're laughing.
01:06:00They're kidding the show.
01:06:01They're not kidding.
01:06:02They think the professor is part of the show.
01:06:04Oh, you're good.
01:06:05Now, young ladies, just line up to that part where we do this.
01:06:10Just continue.
01:06:10Just continue.
01:06:21Get that piano.
01:06:23Ring it.
01:06:23Get it on.
01:06:24Due to my unfamiliarity with stage procedure, there has been a slight departure from Routine in this part of the entertainment.
01:06:29Ring.
01:06:30The drop down.
01:06:31The drop.
01:06:32With your kind of indulgence, we will continue.
01:06:34The game will entertain.
01:06:55Why is it every time that I go places, someone always picks on me?
01:06:58Tell me, what's the psychology of that?
01:07:00Why, only this morning I took a walk with my family of ten children, when a cop comes up to me and says, under arrest.
01:07:08I said, for what?
01:07:09I didn't do nothing.
01:07:10He said, you must have done something with that crowd following you.
01:07:14And that's not all.
01:07:16Why am I always snubbed by pretty girls and debutantes?
01:07:20I know I'm not good looking, but what's my opinion against thousands of others?
01:07:24And to add to my humiliation, last night I went into a drugstore to get myself a drink of pop, went out of a clear sky and for nothing, a guy comes up to me and hits me on the head with a bottle and said, consider yourself launched.
01:07:39Was I amazed?
01:07:42Look here, Professor.
01:07:43You've got to keep off that stage.
01:07:44You're putting this whole show on the fritz.
01:07:46I was only trying to repair the damage I had done.
01:07:49Keep off that stage.
01:07:50Get me?
01:07:51Mr. Rayburn, I shall do my duty as I see it.
01:07:55And if you dare to interfere, I will expel you.
01:07:59Ah.
01:08:21Reno, Reno!
01:08:30Get the reinforcement.
01:08:30Don't Mogul.
01:08:30Get the reinforcement.
01:08:31Get the reinforcement.
01:08:32Hurry up.
01:08:33Never.
01:08:34Thirty years in the theater.
01:08:35Just be calm.
01:08:35Just be calm.
01:08:36Just be calm.
01:08:36Just be calm.
01:08:44Don't you speak it, there's a bubble, get wet the raver.
01:08:46Hurry up, never in 30 years in the theater.
01:08:49Just be calm, just be calm.
01:08:53Hurry up with those bubbles, come on.
01:09:00Oh, yes, hurry up.
01:09:01Put that stick, hurry up.
01:09:03Besser, I've asked you now, I'm telling you to keep off backstage.
01:09:24Get out there and do something.
01:09:26I don't care what you steal, but do something.
01:09:28I steal nothing.
01:09:29Originality, personality and unction.
01:09:31That's me.
01:09:32Well, get out there and do it.
01:09:39What do you mean by coming out here and breaking my head?
01:09:42My problem, my dick is the other one.
01:09:48Oh, Mr. Spear, maybe you could tell me where is my dick.
01:09:55Give me that bubble, quick.
01:10:02Oh, but of course I got the bubble.
01:10:04Oh, I'm a fool.
01:10:05Oh, hello, ho.
01:10:06Please, I'll be back to my dad.
01:10:08Hi, my dad!"
01:10:12Hi, my town.
01:10:13Oh, I'm a送信ist.
01:10:14Oh, my dad.
01:10:15Oh, my dad.
01:10:16Oh, my dad, oh.
01:10:17Oh, my dad.
01:10:19Oh, my dad.
01:10:20Oh, my dad, oh, my dad, oh.
01:10:21It's all right.
01:10:51Send the girls on for the torch number.
01:11:10Somebody give James a bubble.
01:11:19Come on, get up there.
01:11:26Bring up the formation.
01:11:35Retire. Retire.
01:11:40Look at my tanker.
01:11:42You've got to find them, I guess.
01:11:44Lisa, audio peptide.
01:11:47Oh, it's a madhouse.
01:11:54They're crazy.
01:11:56I'm crazy.
01:11:58Give me that snow.
01:12:00Yes, Mr. Ray.
01:12:01They want snow.
01:12:08Get out of the snow.
01:12:12Where?
01:12:14I don't care.
01:12:16Get me over here.
01:12:31Say, who's the owner of this show?
01:12:35I am.
01:12:38Oh, boy.
01:12:39You're great.
01:12:40You've got a funny comeback for everything.
01:12:44Say, I've caught a lot of comedians, but you wear the funniest clothes I've ever seen.
01:12:50Ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:13:03Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:13:05Second, and curtain going up.
01:13:07Second, good.
01:13:11I've got to get the professor off this stage.
01:13:14Now, what do you suggest, Reno?
01:13:16What?
01:13:18We can put him up in a fly gallery.
01:13:20Huh?
01:13:22It's a great idea, professor.
01:13:24Professor, I want to be sure that you get a good view of this bicycle race.
01:13:29Yeah, we want to get your reaction, professor.
01:13:30Yes, I want you up in the flies.
01:13:33You want me up in the flies?
01:13:34Yes.
01:13:36Well, I'm already well up in domestic insects.
01:13:39Oh, no, no.
01:13:40I want you up in the fly gallery.
01:13:42I want you to get an uninterrupted view of everything that goes on.
01:13:46You see?
01:13:46That's very thoughtful of you.
01:13:48Yes, I just thought of it this minute.
01:13:49Just this minute.
01:13:50That's just like Mr. Ray Boyne, professor.
01:13:52Always giving somebody else a break.
01:13:54Yeah, right up there, professor.
01:13:55Yeah, we're up there now.
01:13:55You can see it.
01:13:56Right up there.
01:13:57Reno, tie him to something.
01:13:59Yes, Mr. Lloyd.
01:13:59Come on, come on.
01:14:00Come on.
01:14:01Come on.
01:14:01Where's the stairs?
01:14:02Keep right going, professor.
01:14:03Come on up there, professor.
01:14:07Get dizzy up in those high altitudes.
01:14:09Here, hang on now.
01:14:10Come here.
01:14:11Here.
01:14:11Get right out of the way.
01:14:12What are you doing here?
01:14:14Get over where you come.
01:14:15Come on.
01:14:15Get in there.
01:14:16Where's Jimmy?
01:14:17Where's the stairs?
01:14:19Everybody.
01:14:19I see you.
01:14:21Reno.
01:14:25He can't win.
01:14:27He can't win.
01:14:28I've got the bicycles picked.
01:14:29Oh, father, father.
01:14:31You must win.
01:14:32You must win.
01:14:33A little faster, Charlie.
01:14:34A little faster.
01:14:35Yes, sir.
01:14:36Father, father.
01:14:37What a price.
01:14:38What a price.
01:14:38It's play of chaos.
01:14:40Let's go.
01:14:52Reno.
01:14:52Get that cyborg.
01:14:53Stop the mortar.
01:14:53Stop the mortar.
01:14:57Hey.
01:14:58Ain't it even better than hey?
01:15:00Oh.
01:15:00Oh, he'll kill himself.
01:15:02He'll kill him.
01:15:02Reno.
01:15:03Stop the mortar.
01:15:04What's the matter?
01:15:05I mean, champ.
01:15:06Mr. Rayburn.
01:15:07Can't you stop it?
01:15:07I told you to tie him up there. What's the matter with you?
01:15:17Oh!
01:15:23Raven!
01:15:24What's going on?
01:15:25Where's my act?
01:15:26Where's my act?
01:15:27Where's my act?
01:15:28Where's my act?
01:15:29Where's my act?
01:15:30Where's my act?
01:15:31Where's my act?
01:15:32Where's my act?
01:15:34Oh!
01:15:35Oh!
01:15:36Oh!
01:15:47Very unfortunate, I have to be seen to me!
01:15:53At least...
01:15:54But there has been a slight departure from the routine of the list.
01:16:02Section of the energy.
01:16:09What do you want me to do?
01:16:11Oh, walk on your hands. I don't care.
01:16:13Me walking my hands?
01:16:14Remember, I'm an honor.
01:16:15Oh, now, Mike.
01:16:16I'm an honor.
01:16:16Get a bite.
01:16:17Due to a few mishaps, there has been a slight delay in our performance.
01:16:23But now that we are well organized, we will continue until it's good.
01:16:32Reno, can't they stop that cyclorama?
01:16:51No, I told you they broke the main shaft.
01:16:53Oh.
01:16:59Reno.
01:17:01Shoot him.
01:17:02They'll think it's part of the show.
01:17:32Ladies and gentlemen.
01:17:40What a nice...
01:17:42Hey, listen to them. They're still applauding.
01:17:44A smash. It's a smash.
01:17:47Listen, Raymond.
01:17:48You double-cross me.
01:17:49Why didn't you show me all this stuff at rehearsal?
01:17:51Why didn't you tell me the professor was a comedian?
01:17:54Where is Post?
01:17:55Oh, out there. Somewhere out there.
01:17:57Out there.
01:17:59What did I tell you? What did I tell you?
01:18:01Didn't I tell you we've knocked on dead?
01:18:02Mr. Billingham's looking for you, Professor Post.
01:18:05Mr. Billingham.
01:18:05What do you mean?
01:18:06What do you mean? Is this Post?
01:18:07Yes, yes.
01:18:08Why didn't you say so? I've been looking for him all night.
01:18:11Are you T. Z. Post?
01:18:14Yes.
01:18:15What do you mean, a tall guy?
01:18:18Can I help him to be shrinks from process service?
01:18:20Hey, what about this injunction?
01:18:23$10,000 in cost. Are you going to settle it?
01:18:26James will take care of the matter.
01:18:27Here he is, Mr. Billingham.
01:18:28Ah, congratulations, Professor. Congratulations.
01:18:30You fooled me, all right.
01:18:32But you got a hit.
01:18:32But don't let it go to your head.
01:18:34Come on. I want to talk business.
01:18:36This gentleman comes first.
01:18:37Oh, all right. All right. I can wait.
01:18:39But remember, don't sell the show till you get my figures.
01:18:42What about the $10,000?
01:18:43Oh, don't listen to that, Piker.
01:18:45$10,000.
01:18:46I'm talking regular money.
01:18:48$100,000.
01:18:49$100,000 for the half-interest in the show.
01:18:52Now, what do you say?
01:18:53Take it. Take it.
01:18:54I accept. Fine. Fine.
01:18:56I'll have the contracts made out the first thing in the morning.
01:18:58Good night. Good night.
01:19:00What about our economy?
01:19:01Are you going to settle it or not?
01:19:02Mr. Billingham, our junior partner, takes care of the small details.
01:19:06Hey. Hey, you.
01:19:09Miss Pansy.
01:19:11We're in. We're in. We're in.
01:19:13What did I tell you? What did I tell you?
01:19:16Please, do something.
01:19:19One end. Two end.
01:19:21Then everything is all over.
01:19:23I'm not finding my thing yet.
01:19:25Now, wait. Wait.
01:19:26Let us settle this definitely.
01:19:29What is it you are looking for?
01:19:32My place, my thing is...
01:19:34What is this?
01:19:35It ain't on the prop list.
01:19:36That's my thing.
01:19:42That's my thing.
01:19:44Reno.
01:19:45Reno.
01:19:47Reno.
01:19:48That's my thing.
01:19:49Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:19:50But what is it?
01:19:51That you put him in the mouth.
01:19:58Reno.
01:19:59Reno.
01:20:00Where's the professor?
01:20:01I don't know.
01:20:02Maybe he beat it.
01:20:03All right.
01:20:03Take it away, will you?
01:20:04Tomoleon.
01:20:09Tomoleon.
01:20:10Tomoleon.
01:20:12We've got an engagement.
01:20:14And you're going to have to do plenty of explaining.
01:20:16I am fully aware of the fact that the events of the past few minutes have not been of a strictly conventional order.
01:20:26Therefore, I feel it necessary to clarify a situation which otherwise might be filled with doubt.
01:20:33This I will do through the medium of a much quoted but pungent phrase.
01:20:39That's to you.
01:20:40Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Recommended
22:35
|
Up next
1:03:32
19:36
1:13:34
1:11:16
1:12:59
0:57
49:08
50:08
20:23