Therapy Thursday February 9th, 2023
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00:00All right, Therapy Thursday is where we try and give you a little bit of advice.
00:03It's really dope because we're starting to get messages from people who are like,
00:07hey, man, are y'all doing it yet?
00:09So we got one person online.
00:12We actually got a text from a kid that had to go to class
00:15and wanted to get in on Therapy Thursday, too.
00:17So it's starting to build up where people are getting to know our brilliance.
00:21They're starting to understand.
00:22We try our best.
00:23All right, wait, we got Kurt on the phone.
00:25Kurt, what's going on this morning?
00:26Oh, I'm just calling in.
00:30I need to talk to you guys.
00:32I want to start by saying I listen to you guys every day.
00:35You guys are great.
00:36No, we appreciate it.
00:37We got your text early asking if we were doing it yet.
00:40So what's going on?
00:42Well, I'm a single dad.
00:45I got a 12-year-old, 9-year-old, 6-year-old.
00:49I've had him by myself for the last four years, going on almost five years.
00:54My kid's mom hasn't talked to them in five years.
00:59Well, Sunday, my son, we ride dirt bikes all the time.
01:04My son crashed.
01:06He got hurt real bad.
01:08He's at St. Joe's Hospital, and he fractured his forehead, broke his cheeks.
01:14He's on a breathing machine.
01:17Well, his mom had a clear blue.
01:19She calls, and she wants to go up and see him.
01:22I don't think I should let her.
01:23She hasn't talked to my kids in almost five years.
01:27I was almost on his test then.
01:29I mean, how old is your son?
01:32He's 12.
01:34Now, I mean, listen, I know that your job is to protect your kid,
01:39but, you know, your job is also to put him in a position
01:42to maybe have a relationship with his mom.
01:45That's not – you're the protector,
01:47but you can't preclude them from having a relationship,
01:51whether she's better now, whether she's, you know,
01:53understanding her woes or whatever.
01:55I mean, you've got to give her that opportunity.
01:57What if – and you hate to think this way,
01:59but what if something bad happens and she wasn't able to make amends?
02:02You wouldn't –
02:04Right.
02:04Well, that's why I don't know what – right.
02:06I don't know what – should I let her go see him?
02:09Yeah.
02:09Should I not?
02:10Yes.
02:10I mean, she hasn't talked to my kids in almost five years.
02:13You know, I think that might hit her in the chest, dude.
02:16I really do.
02:16I get it.
02:17I know it's emotional, but you have to put her in a space
02:22where she could at least – you know,
02:23if she has to make her peace with it, that's her bear to bear.
02:27Sometimes it takes situations like this to –
02:30just how you're like, yo, I haven't –
02:31she hasn't seen him in five years.
02:33Maybe when she heard the news, it's like, oh, my God,
02:36I haven't seen them in five years.
02:37Maybe this will make her look at the situation and her –
02:41Wake up and clean up her freaking act.
02:44Yes, yes.
02:44Put the drugs away.
02:45A wake-up call.
02:46Be a mom, man.
02:47Be a mom.
02:48Help me out.
02:49I mean –
02:50No, yeah.
02:50No, we got – bro.
02:51Bro, I don't want –
02:53I don't want you to bug out on the radio.
02:55You know, I get it, and I don't want you to bug out on the radio
02:57and start yelling at her.
02:59And don't do – what you just did, don't do that when she shows up.
03:02Don't –
03:03Right.
03:03Let her have her moment with it and be there to protect your kid
03:07and make sure that it goes well, but don't yell and let your emotion
03:11do what you just did.
03:12And we're so sorry that that happened.
03:14Yeah.
03:15Honestly, hopefully this ends up well, and maybe that relationship
03:19that she now realizes was a problem that she wasn't feeling,
03:22you know, wasn't really following up with can go further
03:25and she can have a better relationship with him after he, you know, recovers.
03:28Hope for the best.
03:29Expect the worst.
03:30That's all I've ever wanted is for my kids to have a mom.
03:34Yeah.
03:35Well, you know what?
03:35Maybe that's coming to fruition, and maybe it took this tragedy
03:39to bring her closer to the home.
03:41So good luck with it, man, and let us know how it goes, okay?
03:44Hey, thank you, man.
03:45I love you guys.
03:46Hey, we love you back, bro, man.
03:47Thanks a lot.
03:48How could you not be in your kid's life?
03:49That's nuts.
03:50You could hear it in his voice, too.
03:51That was painful.
03:52Yeah.
03:53But that's why I was like, yo, don't get it.
03:55Don't let the emotion take over.
03:57You know what I'm saying?
03:57All right.
03:58This came in early this morning.
04:00It was about 645.
04:01It says, I have to go to class.
04:03Wanted to send my therapy Thursday question.
04:07I can't hear the reply until lunch.
04:09I get dragged about being 16 and still a virgin every day.
04:15The guys in school talk about sex constantly.
04:19I don't want to have it.
04:20And by the way, I have a girlfriend.
04:22I just don't want to do it now.
04:25But I want to know, how do you deal with people picking on you on the daily?
04:29I mean, it's just, I feel like it's a little bit of part of life.
04:32It's not just you.
04:32Everybody gets picked on here or there.
04:34If it's right or wrong, it doesn't matter.
04:36It's going to happen.
04:37You shouldn't let those people get on you.
04:38If you don't want to make that decision, it's a really big deal.
04:41It's a big deal for both people.
04:43You know, just keep it moving.
04:45You're not the only 16-year-old that hasn't done it.
04:47And I bet you a lot of those guys that are trying to pick on you and make fun of you,
04:53they're trying to overcompensate for either something that they haven't done,
04:58something that they maybe tried and failed at.
05:01Don't put...
05:02Translated.
05:02They lying.
05:03They lying.
05:03It's a lot of cap going on there.
05:05Guys lie to each other about that?
05:07It's a lie.
05:07Get out of here.
05:08Also, I think there's also a lesson here in not telling too much of your business, too.
05:14Once it happens, don't go and make that front page news like,
05:18yo, guess what I just did or something like that.
05:21Keep your personal business personal.
05:24Keep it close to the chest and keep doing right by your girlfriend.
05:28There you go.
05:28Be respectful.
05:29And honestly, if you do do it, like Davi said,
05:32bro, treat it just like you have it.
05:34Treat it just like you have it because it ain't for them.
05:38And honestly, you're in a leader position not doing it when you don't want to do it.
05:43Like you just said, I don't want to do it.
05:45And you haven't.
05:46That means peer pressure ain't making you do it.
05:49That means that you're not really buying into all of the cap that you're getting from them.
05:53Like that, you're in the leader position.
05:55So I would say stay the course on what you're doing and realize that they just front.
05:59And as you grow up, you'll realize that the guys that talk the less don't brag
06:04and don't let everybody into their business, they get the most ladies.
06:08Yeah, they kill it.
06:08Yeah.
06:09Yeah, they kill it.
06:09That's why I don't say nothing.
06:11I don't say nothing to nobody.
06:13Nobody don't talk to people at all.
06:15I just realized that I am addicted to caffeine.
06:17I get the worst headaches if I don't have it.
06:19I drink around four or five cups of coffee a day or Red Bulls or Monsters
06:25or whatever I can get my hands on.
06:26I do get enough sleep, but if I don't have my daily cups, I feel tired and I'm very aggy.
06:33I never thought I'd be addicted to anything, but this is my vice, yet I love it so much.
06:38Okay, as a coffee lover myself, you got to wean yourself off just a little bit.
06:44I personally think it is totally okay to start the day with a cup of coffee.
06:49And if you need a little extra halfway through your day, you know, after lunch or whatever,
06:53that's fine.
06:54But if you're having four or five, six cups of coffee or Red Bull and Monsters,
06:57like I think that's way too much.
06:59You can dwindle it down slowly, I think.
07:03Well, I mean, being addicted sucks, but it's such a standard thing, though.
07:07Like, I mean, my sisters and my mom lived off of Coca-Cola or Pepsi or whatever it was.
07:13They had to have that taste of it as we were growing up.
07:16And it was really weird to see, like, they would get a headache or whatever.
07:19And then that's kind of when you realize that you're having withdrawal if you don't have it.
07:24Like, it's part of your whole thing.
07:26So, you know, I wouldn't be maybe doing it all day.
07:29Find some way to kind of make it like, you know, like some hurdles in the day.
07:33Don't just be taking them all day because then now you're overdoing it.
07:36You don't want to do it.
07:37You want to do everything in moderation.
07:38So just pick your points.
07:40Like, say, hey, maybe I have one to start my day.
07:42Yes.
07:42And then maybe I have one, you know, with dinner or something or maybe one at lunch.
07:46Yes.
07:47After lunch.
07:47I get that.
07:48This is what you do, bro.
07:49You go on WebMD and you scare yourself.
07:52Type in what happens when I drink.
07:55It's going to be heart disease.
07:56It's going to be hypertension.
07:57It's going to be all kinds of stuff.
07:59Three letters.
07:59You going to die.
08:00Yeah, read it, read it twice, read it three times and see if that doesn't help you right
08:05there.
08:05You know, that's what I did with somebody.
08:07They posted up the thing about bacon.
08:08Yeah.
08:09Like every slice of bacon you have, like takes four minutes off of your life or something.
08:13And I'm like, I don't even know if this is true, but I ain't had bacon in like two months.
08:17You have to have a slice of bacon.
08:18I haven't had bacon.
08:19Every time I ordered my little Brussels sprouts, I'm like, can you get it without the bacon?
08:23Like I've left the bacon alone.
08:25Okay.
08:25All right.
08:26We can eat a little bacon.
08:27And you just shouldn't eat it all day, every day.
08:28But I've eaten so much bacon that four minutes adds up.
08:31Yeah.
08:32I might be checking out tomorrow.
08:35I don't want no problems.
08:36Oh, man.
08:37Okay.
08:37Out of the 941.
08:39Hey, freaks.
08:39I have a bit of an issue with my boyfriend in the bedroom.
08:42My boyfriend can't physically perform the way I want him to.
08:46I've been okay with it since the beginning, but now I want to experiment, but I don't want
08:50to hurt him.
08:51I've brought it up multiple times, but I feel like he's just so self-conscious about it and he's
08:56not willing to open up.
08:58Not self-conscious about it.
08:59The reason is because you say, oh, I'm sorry.
09:02That was an old habit.
09:05Old habit?
09:06I mean, because I feel this.
09:07Like, you know, like, hey, man, like, listen, women, y'all are complicated.
09:11And it's intimidating for the guys sometimes.
09:14Just spend a little time with them.
09:15You ladies have a lot of complicated pieces and parts, and sometimes it takes a minute
09:19to get my rhythm.
09:20You need a partner that's willing to learn, though, a little bit.
09:23I think if you're physically unable to perform, there might be a physical problem there, which
09:30maybe could require a doctor visit, a prescription, or something like that.
09:35Don't throw the whole man away before you try and weigh all your options.
09:40Also, you said something in the note about you were okay with it at the beginning.
09:46If we're just looking at it on a therapeutic kind of way, don't be okay with something
09:52at the beginning.
09:53Because if you're okay with it at the start, that means that a month or two down the line,
09:59hello, it's going to be an issue.
10:01Be honest with yourself.
10:02She probably didn't think it was going to be that big of a deal.
10:03Maybe, like, once we get to know each other better, it would progressively improve.
10:08Yeah.
10:08And it hasn't.
10:09I get that, but those concessions count when, you know, you dealt with it, and he was like,
10:15man, it's okay now, and I found me somebody who was cool with it, and you thought it was
10:20going to get awesome.
10:21Be prepared to find you a new man that can rock your world in the bedroom.
10:23You might have to.
10:24You might have to.
10:25You need somebody that can, you know, treat you right.
10:27Shout out to everybody who's happy that his boat's not getting rocked in the bedroom.
10:30I mean, just, you know, like, you're just all right.
10:32Like, you know, there's some mediocre lovers out there.
10:35But at least, like, as that, as an example, you would be willing to listen and maybe improve
10:41or try new things.
10:41This guy's not.
10:42That's the problem.
10:43So be willing to, you know.
10:44Oh, there's two guys.
10:46Two men.
10:47Okay.
10:48All right.
10:48Well, you want to be with someone.
10:49We both still.
10:50Okay.
10:50All right.
10:51Okay.
10:51All right.
10:52Y'all were like, oh, okay.
10:53I mean, because it doesn't really change as far as advice.
10:56Like, you can't be okay with it at the beginning and not be okay with it down the line.
11:00I think you can, though.
11:02I think you can.
11:03I think your priorities can change.
11:07You could have been making, I don't know, like a concession at first.
11:11And now you're realizing, hey, I didn't know how much of an issue this would be.
11:16Just because at the beginning you're okay with something, I think you have the right
11:20to not be okay with it a few months down the road.
11:23It's very hard when you make those compromises.
11:26Like, hey, I don't mind you smoke a little cigarettes every now and then.
11:29And then six months later, it's like, oh, listen, you smoke cigarettes too much.
11:33And it's like, yo, like you were cool with this before.
11:36We just need to make sure that we only concede about things that we have wiggle room with.
11:41And the hard nose, stay hard nose.
11:43You can at least stay honest.
11:44There's no hard nose.
11:46That might be a problem.
11:47All right.
11:48But that's Therapy Thursday.
11:49It is a wrap.