Peep Show: Sugar Cookie Lie

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about the time a co-worker claimed to be making them homemade sugar cookies and found out they were actually bought at a store.

Transcript

00:00Someone poured through the Google data to see which Christmas cookies are exceptionally popular in each date,

00:10and I gotta say that I don't know what's going on here.

00:13There's a lot of real healthy cookies topping the list.

00:20I don't like to see it.

00:21What's wrong with the world?

00:23Healthy cookies, what's that?

00:25It's an agenda. There's an agenda. My healthy cookie.

00:28The most popular Christmas cookie in four states, Maine, Minnesota, Montana, and Wisconsin, gluten-free Christmas cookies.

00:37Get out of here.

00:39Wisconsin, gluten-free?

00:41Yeah, right.

00:42That's how you know.

00:44Like the home of gluten. That's where gluten originated.

00:47I think I know where the scientists came from.

00:49There's some regular stuff on here.

00:51I don't know. Maybe you guys know what this is.

00:52In six states, this was number one, Christmas cookie fudge.

00:55I like the sounds of it.

00:58Is it like a sugar cookie kind of fudge?

01:00I know, but I'm worried about it.

01:01Alabama, Indiana, Kentucky, Nebraska, Oklahoma, and Tennessee.

01:05Big people love it, so it's gotta be good.

01:07Oh, yeah.

01:08Well, it's...

01:09Christmas cookie.

01:11It's like the most alternative cookie list I've ever heard.

01:13The pictures are delicious.

01:14Oh, my God.

01:15Oh, yes.

01:16So it's like a big chunk.

01:18Oh, look, it looks like half cookie, half fudge.

01:21Yeah.

01:23Yes.

01:23I thought it was just fudge that had like a cookie look.

01:25Well, I think it is just fudge, Chuck.

01:27Oh, okay.

01:27I think if you look closer, it's just fudge, but it has like a little icing on top.

01:30I thought like it looked like...

01:31So it's sugar cookie...

01:33Sugar?

01:33Whatever.

01:34Sugar cookie flavored fudge with like a little frosting and sprinkles on top.

01:38Oh, that looks fine.

01:40I'm in.

01:40Could be my new favorite cookie.

01:41I know, right?

01:42By the way, I love anyone who tuned in right in time to hear Dave say, oh, my, oh, yes,

01:46give it to me.

01:49That's how I feel about sugar cookies.

01:51Oh, yeah, that's true.

01:52That's true.

01:53He gets very sexual.

01:53I do, because I haven't had a good one this year.

01:56Oh, not yet.

01:57I am always on a quest for one delicious, like something you'd read about in a book.

02:02Right.

02:03It's that good.

02:04Yeah.

02:04Like Martha Stewart made it.

02:06Perfectly cooked sugar cookie with the perfect frosting and right amount of sprinkles.

02:10I've yet to find it.

02:11I don't find that a good cookie, really.

02:13Thanks, Lisa.

02:14It's my Christmas cookie quest.

02:16It's the right amount of sprinkles.

02:18That's all you need in life.

02:19He counts the sprinkles, you know.

02:21He does.

02:22He's like, oh, God.

02:24I don't know.

02:24There's five cookies here.

02:27That one looks good.

02:28Let me count it.

02:29One, two, three, five, four, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five,

02:33and ten.

02:33That's 50.

02:34I'm not a Christmas cookie snob.

02:36Like, you know, there's a chick we worked with years ago who lied to us.

02:40Yeah, I would lie.

02:40And claimed she made these cookies, and they were great.

02:42They were great.

02:43Oh, my goodness.

02:44They were like-

02:44She lied?

02:45She totally lied.

02:46Yeah, she lied every time.

02:47So she claimed she made them from scratch, and it turns out it was Gordon Food Services

02:52pre-shaped Christmas cookie molds that you just throw in the oven.

02:56How did you find out?

02:57Um, I saw them.

02:59Yeah.

02:59I saw them at Gordon Food Services.

03:01I'm like, oh, it's a scam.

03:03I told him.

03:04I'm like, Chuck, it's a scam.

03:05He legitimately, you know, like, it takes a lot for Dave to call me.

03:09Like, it does.

03:10It takes a lot.

03:11Like, something.

03:11I called him from Gordon Food Services.

03:14I am standing.

03:14Generally, it's like a bit, you know.

03:16You're shocked, Chuck.

03:17It's all a lie.

03:18Christmas is a lie.

03:19No, listen.

03:20Generally, it's like, hey, Chuck, just to let you know, I quit for us today.

03:24I'm like, oh, okay, all right, all right, that's cool.

03:28Give me a call later.

03:28I'll see you tomorrow.

03:30This was on that level.

03:32Chuck, you're not going to believe this.

03:36I'm in Gordon Food Services right now, and I just saw those cookies.

03:40What?

03:41Yes, I just saw the cookies.

03:42No.

03:43I did.

03:44It's a lie.

03:45It's always been a lie.

03:46She never made them.

03:47She never made them.

03:48I just bought five dozen of them.

03:50I did, so what did I do?

03:51What did you do?

03:51I bought them with the icing that was right beside it, which is what she bought, and I

03:56made them.

03:57Did you bring them in?

03:58And I brought them in.

03:59Yeah.

04:00What was the reaction?

04:00And she apologized.

04:01She was like, yeah, because it was busted.

04:04She had, yeah.

04:05Oh, my God.

04:06It's a shame.

04:07It was a shame.

04:08It was high levels of shame.

04:10I paid her to make some for my parents.

04:13You paid her?

04:14I paid her.

04:15I'm like, I'll give you the money for the ingredients.

04:17My parents would love your homemade cookies so much.

04:20That's the, uh-huh.

04:21Did you, did she give you the money?

04:23No, that's not.

04:24That was the Christmas before.

04:26Oh, my God.

04:27Who does that?

04:28Oh, my God.

04:28That's the best.

04:30Oh, my God.

04:31Oh.

04:31I guess she got caught in the lie.

04:33She couldn't keep, she couldn't stop it.

04:34Oh, it was.

04:35She got in a cookie, sugar cookie lie.

04:37Yeah, she absolutely was.

04:39What a scandal.

04:40Yeah, I know.

04:41It was pretty intense.

04:42The cookie scandal.

04:44I wish I was there for the reveal of the, like, you bring in the cookies.

04:47Oh, I was so excited that morning.

04:49I'm like, wait till I unveil the Christmas cookie disaster.

04:52Yeah.

04:53Yes.

04:54I was like, oh, God, here we go.

04:56Yeah.

04:57Everything was right.

04:58Like, all she did was pick up a box of frozen cookies, grab the ice, and grab the sprinkles.

05:01They were right, they all sat out there, right in the Gordon-Puncher aisle.

05:04I will say, though, I will say.

05:05Really good?

05:06It's really good.

05:08They are.

05:08They're amazing.

05:09No, I will say.

05:10I mean, if you want to not get it wrong.

05:11They're like stars, trees, and something else.

05:14That's how you knew.

05:15You're like, they're not the exact shape.

05:17So, it's like.

05:19It comes right up.

05:21GFS is great.

05:21There it is, right there.

05:23Yeah, that was it.

05:24You get 72 in a box.

05:25Look at that.

05:26No, like, honestly, God, it's bringing back memories of those cookies.

05:30They're delicious.

05:31Oh, they're so good.

05:32If you want, like, the perfect flavor and consistency.

05:36Yeah, it's cheap, too.

05:36Look at that.

05:37Yeah, it's $9.99 for 72.

05:39Wow.

05:40How much did you pay for your parents' cookies?

05:43$30.

05:44No, the profit that was made.

05:47I know.

05:47She probably only gave you half.

05:50Oh, yeah, there was like 20 cookies in there.

05:52What?

05:52Oh, yeah, that's right.

05:54I can't believe that woman's still alive.

05:55Well.

05:56She gave you, like, beating the devil with a flip-flop or something.

05:59What?

06:00What?

06:01Who does that?

06:03Well.

06:03You would think that she'd say, no, here, just I'll make them for free.

06:07I won't.

06:07You don't have to pay me.

06:08Did you insist on paying?

06:09Oh, yeah.

06:10I said, no, no, I don't want you to do it.

06:11Because I felt bad.

06:11Like, she's going to go make all these cookies for my parents.

06:13Labor of these cookies.

06:14Yeah.

06:15Like, this must take forever.

06:16Perfect shapes.

06:17Like, she does it so well.

06:18Yeah.

06:19Like, I mean, they were all perfect.

06:20My parents were so impressed.

06:21They're like, did you get these professionally made?

06:24I'm like, no, just this crazy girl I work with.

06:26Yeah.

06:27Yeah.

06:28This is like a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode.

06:30It's so exciting.

06:31It's totally a Curb episode.

06:33Like, Larry would find out that the cookies weren't real.

06:36Like, that's what it sounds like.

06:37It was incredible.

06:39I can, I, this is how messed up these cookies.

06:42No, like, I can feel what it feels like to bite into one right now.

06:47It was honestly like our favorite day of the holiday season when she'd bring in her cookies.

06:51We were so excited.

06:52I'd bring in a bottle of Bailey's.

06:54We'd get wasted with coffee.

06:55We'd have our Christmas cookies.

06:57Yep.

06:57And it was all a lie.

06:59All of why you lie.

07:00Yep.

07:03All of why you lie.

07:04All of why you lie.

07:05All of why you lie.

07:06All of why you lie.

07:07All of why you lie.

07:08All of why you lie.

07:09All of why you lie.

07:10All of why you lie.

07:11All of why you lie.

07:12All of why you lie.

07:13All of you lie.

07:14All of you lie.

07:15All of you lie.

07:16All of you lie.

07:17All of you lie.

07:18All of you lie.

07:19All of you lie.

07:20All of you lie.

07:21All of you lie.

07:22All of you lie.

07:23All of you lie.

07:24All of you lie.

07:25All of you lie.

07:26All of you lie.

07:27All of you lie.

07:28All of you lie.

07:29All of you lie.

07:30All of you lie.

07:31All of you lie.

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