Sex Noises

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a survey that asked people to rank noises they like and dislike hearing in the bedroom.

Transcript

00:00Apparently, when you lie there silent and perfectly still during sex, it's not a turn-on.

00:10So adjust your technique, if that's your thing.

00:13They had men and women rank the seven most common noises you can make during sex.

00:18From seven to one. Worst to best.

00:21Okay.

00:22Silence.

00:24Silence is the worst. Seven.

00:25Silence is the worst noise you can make during sex. No noise at all.

00:28Yep.

00:29Squeaking is next.

00:31Oh, this is the Asian style.

00:32Yeah.

00:33Oh, right. I know what you're saying. I was trying to say, I'm squeaking.

00:36I know what you're saying now.

00:37Yeah. There's a squeaking.

00:38There's a squeaking. I can see the Asian chicks. Well, I mean, you know.

00:42Yeah, you dated one.

00:43I know what you're talking about.

00:4528% of men and 15% of women like it, but it's still one of the least liked noises.

00:51I don't want my man to squeak.

00:52Yeah, like a man squeaking.

00:54A man?

00:54I can't even imagine a man squeak.

01:00I don't think there is.

01:01I mean, probably is.

01:0315% of women like it. Hopefully they like it on themselves. Not on a man.

01:07I don't, I, I don't know.

01:10I don't know.

01:10No. God.

01:12Okay. All right, man squeaks.

01:14Enough with the man squeaks, Andy.

01:17Andy's man squeaks.

01:17Oh, that was Chuck.

01:18Yeah, that was Chuck.

01:19Oh, wow.

01:20I thought it came from over there.

01:22Andy and Chuck's man squeaks are bad.

01:24After my voice at Andy.

01:26He did.

01:28That was funny.

01:35Yeah, so yeah, squeaking, no.

01:37No.

01:38Screaming.

01:40I don't like screaming.

01:4251% of men like it.

01:45Only 36% of women like it.

01:47Again, man screaming.

01:48Yeah.

01:49Is not a sexy, masculine.

01:53That's crazy, but there's some dudes like that are in.

01:56Yeah.

01:57Yeah, there's some dudes in form.

01:58To me, that's more of a grunt.

02:00Yeah.

02:00That's, I think there's a difference.

02:02I may have been guilty of sex grunting, but not sex screaming.

02:06I grunt.

02:07There's like a, there's like one dude, there's like one dude who's like.

02:15I swear to God.

02:16God.

02:17Is that Marzan?

02:18You have to stop right there.

02:19Lex Steele.

02:22Know who the guy is.

02:25Lexington Steele.

02:26You can't listen to him.

02:27You can't.

02:29But he screams.

02:31What a turn off.

02:35He's a big black guy?

02:36Yeah.

02:38Yes, he is.

02:39Whoa.

02:40Whoa.

02:41Yeah, like that's a search.

02:44That's funny.

02:45Maybe these ones wouldn't be.

02:46Oh no.

02:48They can't be on there.

02:49They can't be on there.

02:50They can't be on there.

02:50I know.

02:50It's like we can't listen to it.

02:53I really want to.

02:54Just one quick second.

02:56No.

02:56Just one quick second.

02:57You really can't.

02:58Just one quick second.

02:58Hold on.

02:59Hold on.

03:04We'll try to do another quick second.

03:05Keep going.

03:06Hold on.

03:08Nope.

03:10Nope.

03:11Hold on.

03:12A millisecond of Lexington Steel's scream is one of the funniest things on the planet.

03:25Who knew?

03:26Do we hear any more?

03:27One more quick.

03:27One quick.

03:28Sure.

03:28Ready.

03:29Ready?

03:31No.

03:31Just hold on.

03:32Hold on.

03:32Okay.

03:33Okay.

03:33Let's go in the middle.

03:34Okay.

03:34Let's go in the middle.

03:34Can't do that one.

03:48But no, but he is as crazy as he gets.

03:54Oh, yeah.

03:55What an exciting game this is.

03:58Is it still going?

04:01Is it still going?

04:01Yeah, it's still going.

04:08We're getting in the wrong territory.

04:10I can't do that anymore.

04:11We're done with Lexington's sex scream.

04:13We're playing with fire.

04:15Hot, screamy fire.

04:16We really were.

04:18No one heard any of it.

04:19Who knows what's next?

04:21Heavy breathing.

04:23Fine.

04:2460% of men like it.

04:2646% of women like it.

04:28Most women don't.

04:29The majority of women don't like heavy.

04:30What's wrong with it?

04:31Well, because if you're a guy, you think, do I need to call my mom?

04:35Well, and you do.

04:37That's me.

04:38You would have to.

04:40Because, hit my medical word.

04:43Seriously.

04:44Well, I sit there and be like, I can't.

04:45Well, yeah.

04:46Get a breath.

04:46Or like, I don't know.

04:48I think it's very similar.

04:50It can be very similar dying and actually doing it.

04:54I think so.

04:55I've pushed it to the limit.

04:56I'm telling you.

04:58I probably could.

04:59You'd probably hear a gargle.

05:01So, that's funny.

05:02Death gargle.

05:03We think a woman.

05:04It's sexy.

05:04Obviously, she's enjoying it.

05:05Women think, is he dying?

05:07Yeah.

05:08That's different.

05:09It's weird.

05:09It's a weird one with the guy.

05:10Yeah, it is.

05:11And then the number one thing.

05:13More men do like it than women.

05:16But the number one best noise to make during sex.

05:19Moaning.

05:21Yeah.

05:21Ninety-one percent of men like a moan.

05:23Who are the nine percent that don't?

05:25It's the same choice, probably.

05:27But only 77 percent of women like it.

05:29There's a large group of women that don't like moaning.

05:31Man moaning.

05:32Well, because men...

05:33Us doing anything's a real...

05:34We're creepy.

05:35Yeah, that's just...

05:36You mind if I get some of this sensual tension out through my voice?

05:47You think...

05:48We don't sound like Bubble O'Bill when we sound.

05:53Some of us do.

05:54Some people do.

05:56I think that's what happens.

05:57Oh.

05:58Oh.

06:00Wow.

06:03God, I hope I don't sound like that when I man...

06:05You never know.

06:05You'd have to tape it and play it on the show.

06:08No, stop it.

06:09I just try to make every noise I make, like I hit my elbow on something.

06:13Like...

06:14That's like a manly grunt.

06:17Yeah.

06:17Yeah, like I'm moving wood, which I am.

06:20You're chopping.

06:21Chopping.

06:22Chopping firewood.

06:23Yeah.

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