In Her Gritch

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a very bizarre Instagram live video of Lindsay Lohan being punched by a woman in Russia after she attempted to take her kids off the street.

Transcript

00:00All right, Lindsay Lohan is in a bizarre place right now, like literally and figuratively.

00:10She live-streamed herself from Russia, being punched by a homeless woman after she tried

00:19to take that woman's children.

00:24Lindsay Lohan is like Wolf.

00:26She take your child in the middle of the day.

00:29And listen, three things in Russia you must worry about.

00:31Deadly Snow, Wolf, and child-stealing Lindsay Lohan.

00:36Yes, of course.

00:37She'll take your children.

00:38She come at night and then she snatch.

00:43She snatch your kids.

00:46Their kids are like, you're not a very good boy today, Lindsay Lohan, come at night and snatch and grab you.

00:52They're like sitting around, you know, at night at the campfire.

00:57You know, they're like, scary Lindsay Lohan will come.

01:02Not Lindsay Lohan.

01:03That's right.

01:04You listen.

01:05If you make a lot of noise at night and wake up dead, Lindsay Lohan comes and steal your kid.

01:11No!

01:12And kill you.

01:13I think I hear her.

01:15The sound of Lindsay Lohan.

01:17Listen, you can hear her do cocaine.

01:18You hear the slurking and the sniffing?

01:22Here she comes.

01:24What a horrible Russian nursery rhyme.

01:27Someone with a runny nose.

01:28Sniff, sniff, disappear.

01:33So here it's complicated and weird, but let me try and break it down quickly before I play the video for you.

01:38Lindsay was in Moscow.

01:40She came across a homeless family.

01:41Two adults, two young boys.

01:43She got out of her car and confronted them as she was streaming live on Instagram.

01:47Who is this bitch?

01:49She claimed they were Syrian refugees, and at first she was being nice and offering them help.

01:54Then she tried to lure the kids back to her hotel to watch movies.

01:58What?

01:59She talked to the family in both Arabic and English, and then when she spoke in English, it's that weird accent she's been using lately.

02:05I can't make it out.

02:07The family was not interested in Lindsay Lohan's help.

02:11She kept following them.

02:12At one point, she tried to physically grab the kids away from the parents, and that's when the mother punched Lindsay in the face.

02:18Well, yeah, she's trying to take your kid, you know.

02:22Here's a little taste of the video here that we put up at DaveAndChuckTheFreak.com.

02:26Hey, everyone.

02:27I just want to show you a family that I met.

02:30That's a Syrian refugee family.

02:33She pasted?

02:34Yeah.

02:34I'm going to answer this to them, and they really need help.

02:46Tell me your story so I can help you.

02:49Look what's happening.

02:49That was a computer issue there.

02:51Here we go.

02:52Dave, I don't trust Dave.

02:54Give me your hand.

02:56Give me your hand.

02:57Hey, is that coming up on the couch?

02:59That's when the mother hits her across the face.

03:01There we go.

03:01Yep.

03:02Yep.

03:03Woo!

03:04That's Lindsay screaming in pain.

03:07Luckily, the drugs...

03:09I'm like, I'm so hungry.

03:13Why did you try to...

03:15I'm like, I'm so scared.

03:18Get back in your car, you crazy.

03:21She's embarrassing to America.

03:23Like, that's embarrassing.

03:26Stop it.

03:26I thought that Steven Seagal being here was a bad idea, but now I realize Lindsay Lohan

03:33is worse than Steven Seagal.

03:36What I know about America?

03:38Yeah.

03:39I know Lindsay Lohan tried to take children.

03:41She does.

03:42She does.

03:42And when you see her, if you punch her straight in the face, she will cry and she will scream

03:48and go back into her Mercedes-Benz.

03:52Like shark, you punch her nose and she'll go away.

03:56That's right.

03:56Never give up.

03:57Do you fight to the death if Lindsay Lohan has got you in her grips?

04:03She snatches you.

04:04She does.

04:05She will try.

04:06You take a rock and smash.

04:08Someone says, if you look in the mirror and say, Lindsay Lohan, three times she'll appear.

04:11Lindsay Lohan!

04:12Lindsay Lohan!

04:13You are crazy for just doing that.

04:16Don't say it.

04:17Off the drugs.

04:18Oh, she's so out of her mind.

04:21If a Lindsay Lohan come at night to try and get you, one thing you can do is throw your

04:26cocaine on the ground and then run.

04:28And hopefully she will see it and then snort it.

04:32All.

04:33I tell you what we did.

04:34We left a little cocaine trail.

04:36Come here tonight because she's going to come here.

04:39It's like an E.T.

04:40You take, instead of a Reese's, you put a bit of cocaine, a cocaine, a cocaine, a cocaine.

04:46She'll follow into trap.

04:49We have Lindsay Lohan traps yet.

04:50That it's like she wants to sound as if she's an Arabic person who knows English and has a

04:55heavy accent.

04:55It's totally bizarre.

04:56It's weird.

04:56To try and like gain trust and then snatch your kids.

05:00That poor woman who like already has like got to live on the streets in Russia.

05:05Yeah.

05:06Now the rest of her life, she's like, yeah, I've had a bad day.

05:09Worst day, they'd Lindsay Lohan try to steal my children.

05:13I have been a homeless Syrian refugee now for eight years.

05:17My hometown was obliterated by war bombs.

05:21But the scariest day in my whole life is when Lindsay Lohan got out of Mercedes-Benz and

05:28tried to take my kids.

05:30So I had to punch her in face until she cried and screamed and she holding phone at me and

05:36put it all on the internet.

05:40Weird, bizarre video.

05:42Again, you can see it for yourself at DaveAndChuckTheFreak.com.

05:44You can't make sense of it.

05:45I thought she was running a club or a hotel in Greece.

05:48What is she doing?

05:49Go back to Greece.

05:50So like, is she now with a Russian guy?

05:52Who knows?

05:53I'm just wondering.

05:54That's her travel plans?

05:56Harass people?

05:57Russian kids.

05:59In her gritch.

06:00In her gritch.

06:01She'll take you in the gritch and you're stuck in it.

06:04In the gritch of Lindsay Lohan.

06:06Exactly.

06:06It's one of the most fearsome gritches.

06:08It is very fierce gritch.

06:11You have to shake.

06:12You have to shake and never give up or you'll never be seen again.

06:15If you listen closely, you hear the sound of Lindsay Lohan Instagrams.

06:21Then you know your children about ready to die.

06:24Here she comes.

06:26Of course.

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