Twerky The Clown

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak report breaking news of a clown on a bike and imagine what it would be like if James took a similar approach to clowning.

Transcript

00:00We interrupt the Riff Files for more breaking clown news.

00:16Monica, you have a clown report.

00:20Yes, I'm a teacher and I just stopped at a Kroger in Canton to get some snacks for my kids.

00:26And when I was walking in, there was a clown with a flashy, a bicycle with flashing lights on it.

00:32And he was playing Highway to Hell riding around the parking lot.

00:36Oh, my God.

00:36Hold on.

00:37Can you repeat what you saw for me, please?

00:40He was on a bike and it had like blue and green, like flashing lights in the tires.

00:45And he had like an MP3 player speaker zip tied to the front playing Highway to Hell.

00:52I don't know if that's scary to me.

00:55But he's currently in the parking lot of Kroger in Canton.

00:59Yes.

01:00Yeah.

01:00Okay.

01:01Well, Monica, thanks for that updated clown report.

01:04We appreciate it.

01:04Stay away from him, though.

01:06Yes.

01:06I am.

01:07Okay.

01:08All the best to Monica there.

01:09Just saw a clown on a bicycle with flashing lights blaring this song Highway to Hell.

01:14If you are in the Canton area and spot him at the Kroger, let us know on the riff lines.

01:19248-544-WRI.

01:22It's got to be a David Chunk listener, right?

01:24He's got Rick Lesnar written all over him.

01:26Yeah, he certainly does.

01:27He's blasting ACDC?

01:29In this climate, for you to decide, I'm going to put a clown mask on and just go drive around.

01:36On my bison.

01:37You're a scary dude.

01:39You know?

01:39Like, James, he put a, at least a, when he made his clown video, he put a bulletproof

01:45vest on and he stayed in his front lawn.

01:49You know what I mean?

01:50Smart.

01:50Terrifying, but smart.

01:51And listen, James, you had to, you had to at least think, God, I hope the wrong person

01:55doesn't see me.

01:57Yes.

01:58Yeah.

01:59That's why I put the don't shoot me on the bulletproof vest, too.

02:01Yeah.

02:02I got a sign with a smiley face.

02:04Yeah, I get like this text in the afternoon, like, you want me to mow your lawn, Dave?

02:08Yeah.

02:09That was awesome.

02:09That was this creepy clown mowing his lawn, you son of a bitch.

02:12But not this guy with the bike.

02:13I'm thinking about taking a cruise around the neighborhood now.

02:16Be careful, James.

02:17Don't do that, James.

02:17Don't.

02:18We want you here.

02:19Don't do that, James.

02:19Yeah, that's true.

02:20We don't want a dead James.

02:21As long as I don't encounter that lady who's got the real gun.

02:23What song would you play on your bike, though?

02:26You'd have to come up with a good song.

02:28Yeah, it's got to be good.

02:29It'd probably be really homoerotic.

02:31Yeah, that's true.

02:31It'd probably be like pina coladas or something.

02:37People are suggesting what James should play on his bike when he does his clown, fake clown attacks.

02:43And this is another one that they think would be perfect.

02:49Just picture it.

02:50James has a thong-wearing clown on a bike riding through your neighborhood.

02:55I got a thousand miles to ride.

02:57Trying to get downtown.

03:00Just waving.

03:01Ponges and people walking.

03:03Sharing at me as I ride by.

03:05I ring my bike bell at them.

03:06Ring, ring.

03:07I wave.

03:09I'm a creepy clown, but I'm a nice creepy clown.

03:12It would be emotionally confusing.

03:14Sure would.

03:15You'd have to process that one.

03:17And I love the dichotomy of terrifying and yet thinking not.

03:23Like, I don't know how I feel about this yet.

03:26Listen.

03:29There goes James.

03:30Bye, James the Clown.

03:32It's a clown.

03:33With a bulletproof vest on.

03:36And you're like, you know, he gives me hope.

03:40Remember, guys, clown lives matter, too.

03:42Yeah, that's what I...

03:43Clown lives matter.

03:44Clowns.

03:45That's true.

03:46Clowning around.

03:46He stops and helps an old lady across the street.

03:50Yeah, like the Boy Scout clown.

03:52Oh, my God.

03:52That's hilarious.

03:53Yeah, like the goodwill clown.

03:56Like, if...

03:56James, if you just went around and did a bunch of nice things...

04:01As a clown, clown lives matter.

04:04But make sure this song is played.

04:06You have to crank this up and head through your neighborhood.

04:11I would rise a thousand miles.

04:16That's the change.

04:18Something about clowns.

04:20I don't know.

04:21He pulls up to a coffee shop, gets off, goes in and buys somebody's coffee for him.

04:26Pay it forward.

04:27Clown it forward.

04:29Clown it forward.

04:30Clown it forward.

04:31James, the do-good clown.

04:33That's the perfect song for him.

04:35This one is another suggestion for you here, James.

04:40I could, like, get off my bike and start twerking in the corner.

04:47Twerking clown.

04:47Twerky to clown.

04:49Twerky.

04:49It's better than yours.

04:51It's better than yours.

04:53I can chuck, but I got too char.

04:55Yeah.

04:56My clown shape.

04:58That's a great suggestion here.

04:59So look for James.

05:01Actually, you know what would be really good?

05:02What?

05:03That music they play with the Wicked Witch of the West.

05:04Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.

05:06That's scary, though.

05:07I would be scared.

05:07See, that's when people choose.

05:10No, this is perfect.

05:12Yeah, this is it.

05:14Lisa, look!

05:15It's him!

05:18It's Twerky the Clown!

05:20hey guys twerky the clown just riding my bike on boy good morning twerky hey twerky he's got

05:28one of those little monkeys with the symbols in the front of his little basket on his bike

05:32sweet monkey twerky

05:34just your friendly neighborhood creepy clown this is a nice happy happy clown song

05:42i feel like the vanessa carlton or whatever song yeah

05:48was the perfect we started off with the perfect one you can't yeah because it's just like him

05:53getting ready you know putting his nose on yeah putting his thong on with big shoes it really is

06:03a process for james to get clowned up thong clowning doesn't come easy it doesn't and it's like he kind

06:12of this song makes you feel the weight he would be going through to help clowns you know yeah

06:16just doing it for the good clowns are bad

06:20imagine james you just started cutting people's lawns randomly for them like like just cutting

06:27their lawn for them um i could consider that but that's a little more work than what i like yeah

06:32exactly i don't want my girlfriend mad at me yeah once you're on someone's lawn they can kill you

06:38too yeah i don't do that yeah yeah no not at all so look for james on his upbeat clown bike

06:44the clown hair blowing in the wind as he rides

06:48you

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