This mom is teaching her young sons consent

Brut America

This mom is challenging traditional parenting styles by teaching her young sons consent right away.

Transcript

00:00Do you need help getting dressed? No, I can do it by myself. Oh, your shirt's tucked into your underwear. Can I fix it for you?

00:16When we were kids the mentality of you do what mom and dad say mom and dad are the boss

00:23I think it's important now to be switching our view a bit and

00:26And understand that our children have their own autonomy over their body. They can either hug high-five or wave

00:33They get to choose which one they want to do when greeting or saying goodbye based on that person and based on how comfortable

00:39They are with that person start having those conversations and training your children

00:44To understand not only their body boundaries

00:47But that those of others so that if we could get everyone on the same boat, we would see a lot less assault

00:54rape

00:55everything

00:56Hopefully and that's kind of the goal behind it. It's just really respecting children as human

01:14I'm taking your pants off. Okay, I'm taking off your diaper

01:18Dirty diaper dirty dirty lift up. I feel we get lost in the zone of changing diapers, right?

01:24You do it all day every day

01:25So you just grab the diaper wipe them change and you're not even interacting with them and they just kind of feel like a doll

01:30being manipulated

01:32What is that doing for their bodily autonomy?

01:34Of course, they can't consent having their diaper change, but you can interact with them and sing

01:48Okay your turn

01:54Stop high-five, you know that most not all most sexual assaults are done by men and

02:03Of course, no one ever wants to think that their child could grow up to be that person

02:09But the reality is some do in raising boys

02:13They're going to grow up to be men

02:15And so I need to do everything that I can now to set the foundation of them understanding their bodily autonomy

02:22Bodily autonomy of others

02:24What not only what means no

02:28Vocally like we've talked about when people say no and stop what that means, but also like learning

02:34Facial expressions and if someone's quiet that can also mean no

02:39Okay, it's time to wash our bodies

02:42Either mommy can help you wash your body or you can wash your body all on your own. What do you want to do?

02:48Unless do care tasks, for example would be like taking a bath

02:52toileting or diapering

02:54Brushing your teeth and my kids know that they don't they have to do those tasks at some point

02:59I give them as much choice as I can

03:01Do you want to do the laundry? Do you want to do the laundry? Do you want to do the laundry?

03:05I give them as much choice as I can. Do you want to do it now or in a few minutes?

03:09Do you want mommy to do it or do you want to do it by yourself?

03:12Do you want to do it together and that like excites them and get them to want to do it?

03:17Well too bad we gotta do your hair buddy you got to go to school so I'm doing it right I may do task would

03:22be more like

03:23Brushing their hair out putting the gel in

03:26I'm picking out their clothes if my son's gonna throw a fit

03:29Because I want him to wear this shirt, but he wants to wear that shirt and he'd be warm in either one

03:33I'm just gonna let him choose the one he wants to dress his body in so

03:38Pick your battles with those. Hey Tyler, would you like for me to gel your hair while you're eating breakfast?

03:44Okay, when's a good time for you?

03:47Okay

04:00When we were kids timeout was

04:02Go sit in the corner, right?

04:04Look at the corner of the wall for five minutes and and like what did you learn from that?

04:10Nothing it's called time in because we're sitting out together not him out by himself

04:16So I'll give him his time to calm down get it together

04:20You know take deep breaths and I'll say are you ready to talk and the big that's a big part of it is

04:26Discussing why why are we here? And what are we feeling a lot of times kids when they get upset or

04:34You know say no and and they need that break is just because they don't know how to name the emotions that they're feeling and they

04:41Don't know how to navigate those because it's scary

04:43It's been working well so far. So I'm hoping that that will also be like another positive change moving forward

04:50For the next generations is is less punishment and violence. Can I give you a hug?

05:03You

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