Habit of lying about oneself || Acharya Prashant, with NIT-Calicut (2022)

Acharya Prashant

Video Information: 14.05.2022, NIT-Calicut, Greater Noida, U.P.  Context:  ~ What is it called when someone is lying to themselves? ~ What mental disorder causes compulsive lying? ~ Why do I find myself lying so much? ~ What does habit of lying mean?  Music Credits: Milind Date  ~~~~~  #acharyaprashant

Transcript

00:00Pranam Acharyaji. My name is Ishita. So, my question is, I have a tendency to lie about

00:10myself, especially in front of people who are considered superior in society. And I

00:17do that so that they think that I am at their level, if not above them. And deep down, I

00:23know that whatever they have earned or achieved is very superficial and they have that hold

00:30no real value. But then also, I am not able to resist myself from lying about myself in

00:37front of them. So, how should I get rid of this habit of mine and not care so much about

00:45my self-image and also should be able to accept my flaws in front of everyone? Thank you.

00:52No, the first lie is not about yourself. The first lie is hidden. It's subtle. The first

01:06lie is that others are superior. How have you managed to convince yourself that others

01:16are superior in the first place? They are not. See, there are two of us. When you say

01:33Ishita or when you take any other name, his name, her name, my name, we are not one, we

01:40are two. The first is what we have somehow become. And the second one is the one we

01:58really are. The second one, therefore, is the utmost potentiality and the aspiration

02:12of the first one. Who is the first one? The one you take yourself to be. I am Ishita with

02:21all my limitations. That's the first one. Who is the second one? The one Ishita is

02:30destined to be. The one Ishita really is but knows nothing of. Ishita's own reality hidden

02:42from her. That's the second one. Needless to say, if the second one is the real one,

02:49then the first one is quite false. It becomes interesting here because the first one, even

02:59if it's false, is the one we live as continuously, no? We know nothing of our greatest potential.

03:10Vedanta calls that as Atma. But we know everything of our everyday problems and

03:20defeats and limits and failures and... Now, that's where understanding is needed.

03:29The one Ishita has become might actually be behind others in certain aspects. In terms of,

03:48let's say, marks, in terms of pay package or in terms of physical attributes such as height.

03:57All these are quantifiable. You could say the other is two inches taller or you could say the

04:05other got five percent more marks. So there, obviously, comparison is valid and you could

04:20see that the other is ahead of you. But then all these comparisons are in the realm of that which

04:32is not really the truth. Truly, you are incomparable. Truly, there is nobody superior to

04:45you. Truly, there is nobody even inferior to you. Truly, there is nobody else other than you.

04:51Therefore, there is no need to take yourself as behind the others. Practically, yes, one has to

05:09see that. There was, let's say, a competitive exam and you obtained rank 823. So 822 people

05:23were ranked ahead of you. That's all right. That's all right. But then that's not my destiny. I take

05:32that as some kind of unnecessary fact, but not the truth. I take that as the reality of this

05:50moment, not my eternal truth. And that, while keeping you in touch with the fact of the moment,

06:04will also shield you from complexes involving inferiority and superiority. You then say,

06:19you are ahead of me and that I accept as the fact. I am nobody to deny that. I don't want

06:27to live in imaginations. I see that you are ahead of me right now. But I also know something far

06:36deeper. Me remaining behind and you remaining ahead is not what we are here for. You are here

06:51to realize your greatest destiny and so am I. And that greatest thing we all are here for is not

07:05different for each one. Your potentiality is not different from the other ones. Are you getting?

07:20Now this will prevent you from feeling inferior. It will also shield you from feeling superior.

07:28And it will give you the honesty and the courage to simply accept that you are behind. And it will

07:40also give you the humility to accept that sometimes you are ahead of others. When you are ahead of

07:54others, be humble about that because that's not the ultimate truth. When you are behind others,

08:02be a bit casual about that because that is not the ultimate truth. Comparisons do exist in this

08:16material world. One cannot deny that 5 is greater than 2. But then neither comparisons nor this

08:28material world are the ultimate you are here for. Are you getting it? So have the courage to accept

08:46comparisons where they can be duly made. And also have the wisdom to know that all comparisons have

09:00to be taken with a pinch of salt. And that's a very fine balance. To know and accept and

09:10acknowledge that you are behind and to also realize that winning and losing, feeling superior

09:25or inferior, being ahead or behind is not what this game is all about. So since you are in the

09:40game, so you acknowledge, yes, I am behind. But also you realize that all this is just a game.

09:46What happens when you are playing, let's say, badminton? You are behind. You don't want to

09:59negate or invalidate the scorecard. You are trailing, let's say, 8-3. And you are behind.

10:08And you say, yes, of course, as far as this game is concerned, I am behind. But I also

10:15realize that I am behind in just a game. This is not the final reality. This is something of

10:27this moment. And since it is something of this moment, I will give it its due respect. I will

10:34play to be a better player. I'll want to beat the other person because that's what we are playing

10:40for. That's where the fun of badminton lies. I want to be ahead of you. You want to smash me down.

10:53Sometimes the scoreboard will show you are ahead and there might be a time when I am ahead of you.

11:02And let's both compete fiercely. And even as I am competing fiercely, I never for a moment forget

11:12it is just a game. And that's what it's a fine balance. To partake wholeheartedly in the game

11:21and still not forget it's just a game. Are you getting it? So, do compare yourselves with others

11:35where comparisons are meaningful and useful. And many a times comparisons can be a great way to

11:44progress in life both externally and internally. So, do make comparisons and do make fair comparisons

11:51and have the courage to accept the results. And when you compare, remember there is a truth

12:08beyond this comparison. That truth must not be forgotten ever. And it's that truth that will

12:16give you, I am repeating this, the courage, the guts to honestly acknowledge that you are behind.

12:25And it is this truth that would also give you the humility to honestly acknowledge when you are ahead.

12:32Am I making sense? Yes, yes, you are.

13:02you

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