"I'm a hospice nurse - this is why you shouldn't fear death" - video Dailymotion

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A hospice nurse says we shouldn't fear death - and it is the most normal experience humans have.  Penny Hawkins Smith, 62, from Spokane, Washington State has 20 years of experience being by people's bedside when they die.  She said that when people are dying a natural death they will sleep more and slip into a responsive state before going into a death coma.  Penny said that when people are in the process of dying, they will experience bed visions and talk about going on a trip.

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00:00My dad was given six months to live. He died a month and a half later. We were still in process

00:05of setting up hospice as he passed. Hospice helped him even though we hadn't done all of

00:09the paperwork yet. This is a very common story and I think people are often misled when they hear

00:16that somebody went on hospice and they lived for a year or they lived for two years or you can be

00:20on hospice for years and years when the reality is 90% of hospice patients will die within six

00:27months and many will die within weeks or even days of their admission to hospice. There's

00:32nothing wrong with hoping that your person on hospice is going to be one of the few who lives

00:37more than six months or for a year or years but again the reality is the majority of people who

00:43go on to hospice will die within six months and I think it's important to recognize that

00:49so that you really are able to embrace each and every moment that you have with that person as

00:54if it were their last because death is unpredictable and tomorrow is never promised.

00:59This is called anticipatory grief. This is when you are anticipating the death of your person

01:05and after some time you just start to wish it would be over and that feels wrong on so many

01:11levels because you are wishing for the person who you love to die. You're wishing and waiting

01:18for their life to be over and that just does not feel good inside. Then after you die it's like a

01:23double whammy. You have been waiting for them to die and then they did and now you feel like you

01:30caused it to happen because you wished it would be over. You're normal. It's anticipatory grief

01:35and it's really really normal. So so many of my patients families were in that position where they

01:41just they just needed for it to be over and then when it was they felt so much guilt that they had

01:49wished their person's life away and believe it or not you didn't because

01:56they were going to die with or without the feelings that you had about them dying.

"I'm a hospice nurse - this is why you shouldn't fear death"

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