- 2 days ago
Meet Chiara Rose DeSantis, Alison Mann, and Dani Candray – three incredible women with alopecia, who will be going on their first-ever blind dates. Will they find a connection that sees beyond hair?
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00:00I absolutely love being bald.
00:02I feel like it's shaped me into the person I am today.
00:04I'm getting set up on a blind date
00:06where the individual does not know that I'm bald.
00:10I always try to set my expectations low
00:11whenever I go on dates.
00:13I have been disappointed.
00:14People have had adverse reactions to my alopecia.
00:17How do I think he'll react?
00:19I think that he will, I don't know.
00:26I'm getting ready for my blind date
00:28and I'm feeling really nervous, but really excited,
00:30kind of hopeful, but mostly nervous.
00:33I think what makes dating hard
00:34is just that I don't fit the beauty standard.
00:37And so already going into a date,
00:38knowing that, you know, I don't look like most girls.
00:41So I'm Kiara, I'm 23.
00:44When I was 10 years old, I actually started losing my hair.
00:46Just started with a few bald spots
00:47and then progressed until I was 12
00:50and all my hair completely fell out.
00:52I was just not at a point in my life
00:53where I felt comfortable being bald.
00:57but I just could not handle it.
00:58I'm 23 now, the joke's on me,
01:00but it ended up being my greatest blessing.
01:02Do I look different? Yes.
01:04But alopecia is also a reason
01:05that I have a lot more genuine connections with people.
01:08It takes a lot for a man
01:10to feel confident dating a bald woman.
01:14How do I think he'll react?
01:15I think that he will, I don't know.
01:21I'm feeling extra nervous, I guess.
01:27Not that I'm actually in the cafe,
01:29it feels a lot different.
01:30I'm Michael Mims.
01:32I'm 28 years old.
01:33A little bit nervous.
01:35Dating in LA is very difficult.
01:38I've dated some pretty crazy people during the pandemic.
01:41Hello, hi, how are you?
01:45Hi, how's it going?
01:46I'm Kiara, nice to meet you.
01:47Nice to meet you, I'm Michael.
01:51So, I'm a little bit nervous, not gonna lie.
01:54Yeah, same here.
01:55It's like my first time doing one of these things.
01:58Same, same.
01:59This is like totally different,
02:02but I mean we are coming from a world
02:04where everything's been different, right?
02:05Yeah, for sure.
02:06The one thing about living in like this part of LA,
02:12there's like so many good food spots.
02:15Yeah, understandable.
02:16I'm definitely a food guy.
02:19The way that people react to alopecia,
02:20there's like a variety of different reactions
02:22that I'm used to.
02:23I would say seven out of 10 times
02:25people don't know what it is.
02:27I've definitely had some off-putting like reactions.
02:29That's just not something
02:30that I'd ever be super interested in.
02:32Like, you have a pretty face,
02:34but like, do you ever wear a wig?
02:36So many guys have asked me like,
02:37oh, do you often wear a wig then?
02:39Like, as if insinuating like they'd rather me wear a wig.
02:42And I'm like, no, I never wear wigs.
02:45Like, obviously I have no hair.
02:47Well, do you know why?
02:50I don't know the term.
02:52Okay.
02:52So, I had a couple of friends growing up,
02:55but I don't remember what the term was.
02:57Like who you think had the same thing as me?
02:59Yes.
03:00Okay, it's called alopecia.
03:01Have you heard that?
03:02One of my friends, she was like that.
03:04It happened to her in fourth grade.
03:06Okay, yeah.
03:07And it was really tough.
03:08Yeah.
03:09I was like one of the only people that stayed her friend
03:10during that whole talk.
03:12In high school, it was super rough.
03:15Even the boys who like, you know, thought I was cute,
03:17they would always like be very secretive about it.
03:19They'd be like, I think you're pretty,
03:20but let's talk in secret.
03:22Let's not tell people we're dating.
03:24I never had an official boyfriend in high school
03:27because no one wanted to be associated with a bald girl.
03:34Cheers.
03:35Yes.
03:37Cheers.
03:41Will you excuse me for a second?
03:42Yeah, yeah.
03:43Sorry, Wentz.
03:44My first impression, obviously he's a good looking man.
03:47He has like beautiful green eyes.
03:48How do you think he handled it with flying colors?
03:5410 out of 10.
03:54He really handled it well.
03:57What's up?
03:58Hey.
04:00Can I get the spicy tuna roll, please?
04:01Yeah, I'm going to get the same.
04:03Yeah.
04:04Thank you so much.
04:05Perfect.
04:07So like, what have your experiences been like with dating?
04:10Okay, so I don't think I've had a good dating experience
04:14during the pandemic, actually.
04:16Yeah.
04:17One, the woman was married.
04:19She didn't tell me she was married.
04:20Husband pops up on the date.
04:23On our third date, he pops up.
04:25I don't know what he did to Travis.
04:26That's awful. I'm so sorry.
04:27Popped up on the date.
04:28Very uncomfortable.
04:29He wanted to fight me.
04:30I know he wanted to fight me,
04:31but I was very calm and very respectful.
04:34Yeah.
04:35That sucks.
04:36Oh my goodness.
04:36So how has dating been like?
04:38Like having alopecia and dating?
04:40Yeah.
04:41It sounds like it's probably like super tough.
04:44Dating with alopecia is definitely different
04:46because obviously like with my disease,
04:48like you see it immediately, right?
04:50Like the first thing you notice is like,
04:51I have no hair, right?
04:53Yeah.
04:55When I first walked in, like I knew what it was,
04:58but I didn't know what it was called.
04:59Yeah.
05:00How do you feel having it?
05:02I would say I love being bald now,
05:03but it definitely has like, you know,
05:05its own challenges on a day-to-day basis.
05:06Just because like, obviously like the universal symbol
05:09of like femininity is like hair.
05:11And like when I literally can't grow any,
05:13you know, obviously I get stares.
05:14We live in like such a judgmental society anyway.
05:17Yeah.
05:17So it's already tough.
05:19The way I look at things in life is like,
05:21we're all human.
05:22It doesn't matter.
05:23The skin color doesn't matter whether,
05:25you know, like alopecia.
05:27Alopecia.
05:27Yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:29We're still all human at the end of the day.
05:31Yeah, no, for sure.
05:31So that's the way I look at it.
05:34Yeah, that was good.
05:36Yeah, it looks really good.
05:38Thank you so much.
05:41It was so fun.
05:42Like he was like the nicest person I've ever like gone on a date with.
05:45He was super good looking.
05:46That was a happy surprise.
05:48I had no idea what to expect.
05:50It went great.
05:51Someone who I would definitely go out with again.
05:53So yeah, she was very cool.
05:55Very nice.
05:56Yeah, you guys seem to get along quite well.
05:58Yeah.
05:58Yeah, it was definitely a joke.
06:02I mean, I hope so.
06:03He was a really nice guy.
06:05He definitely has a lot of food recommendations and things to do.
06:07So fingers crossed.
06:08We'll see.
06:10All right.
06:10See ya.
06:11Bye.
06:11Can I say?
06:11Yeah.
06:15If I had the choice to like grow my hair back,
06:17I genuinely don't think I would.
06:19I've become so comfortable in this look.
06:22So today I'm going on a blind date.
06:23I'm excited to like put myself out there again and just,
06:25you know, get back on the dating bandwagon a little bit.
06:29I'm feeling a little bit nervous.
06:32I feel like it's kind of setting in that I'm going on a blind date.
06:35Hi.
06:36How's it going?
06:36Hi.
06:36Nice to meet you.
06:37I'm Josh.
06:41Yay.
06:42Thank you for calling me.
06:44So today I'm going on a blind date.
06:46I'm really nervous.
06:47I have not been on a date in like over a year.
06:50All right guys, I need your help.
06:51I am nervous and excited.
06:54Yeah.
06:55Don't be nervous.
06:56You got this.
06:56My expectations for today is just that he'll be open-minded and willing to get to know me past
07:02my hair loss.
07:04Well, I'm always about a leather pants moment.
07:06Right.
07:07Giving sexy, giving bold.
07:09That's what we want.
07:10Yeah.
07:10I hope he's not too like taken back for alopecia because I know it might be a little
07:14jarring to some people.
07:16Do a little spin.
07:17Yes.
07:17So cute.
07:18Yes.
07:19I love it.
07:20I've never worn wigs.
07:21I've never done any of that, but when I put lashes on, it's like me feeling like myself.
07:27I'm feeling a little bit nervous, but I'm also getting excited.
07:31I feel like it's kind of scenic in that I'm going on a blind date.
07:36Just want someone who's like down to earth, empathetic, like warm hearted,
07:39who's just like a nice human being.
07:41My name is Josh.
07:42I am 24 years old.
07:44I know that my date has alopecia.
07:45Other than that, I don't know anything else about her.
07:51Hi.
07:52Hi.
07:52Nice to meet you.
07:53I'm Josh.
07:53Nice to meet you.
07:54I'm Allison.
07:54Nice to meet you.
08:00I wouldn't say I necessarily have a physical type.
08:03I would say I tend to go for people who are more active, athletic.
08:09Thank you so much.
08:10You have a favorite like food type, like Italian, French.
08:15Sushi and other Japanese food has been one of my favorites since I was a kid.
08:19I'm a sushi addict for sure.
08:21Yes, definitely.
08:22I can also eat a lot.
08:23So for me, I'm always trying to get as much protein as I can.
08:27So.
08:27Got it.
08:28Is it working out purposes?
08:29Like, yeah, I lift.
08:31Yeah, I did gymnastics when I was a kid.
08:34Stop.
08:35So did you?
08:36I was homeschooled for gymnastics.
08:37Really?
08:38I was like intense gymnastics.
08:39Okay.
08:39Gotcha.
08:40I like to say like gymnastics almost gave me that protective factor.
08:43Like I remember in gym class, I would break the pull-up record.
08:46And they kind of made it so like people didn't mess with me in a sense.
08:49For many reasons, I stopped doing gymnastics when I got into high school.
08:52And that is honestly when it was the hardest time for me.
08:56It was like that identity was like stripped away.
08:58I was just now the weird bald girl in school.
09:00Wait, now I have to like rebuild my entire identity.
09:02Uh-huh.
09:03Um, to not be like this gymnast, super strong girl.
09:07Like now I'm just the girl who doesn't have hair at school with like two friends.
09:11Right.
09:12Those are hard years.
09:13First few years of high school.
09:14Yeah.
09:15Yeah.
09:15Like, oh my god.
09:16I'm nasty.
09:16Like, I'm sure the same for you.
09:18It's like.
09:18Mm-hmm.
09:20I'm going to take a second.
09:21I'm going to stop at the bathroom real quick.
09:22Yeah.
09:22I'll be right back.
09:23Yeah, sure.
09:24Honestly, it's going way better than I thought it would.
09:26We have more in common than I expected.
09:28He doesn't seem too phased by my condition.
09:30Um, who knows?
09:31Maybe on the inside, the wheels are turning and he's like curious.
09:34I probably want to ask him more about like any past dating experience or if you've alluded to cats
09:40because cats are important to me.
09:41Hi.
09:42I don't know if I come back.
09:47I know I haven't mentioned it yet, but I don't know.
09:50You probably don't know what it is.
09:51Maybe you do.
09:52I don't know.
09:52I don't know.
09:53Alopecia or?
09:55Wow.
09:55Did you do that on your own?
09:57My dad's a dermatologist, so I, yeah.
09:59Oh, wow.
10:00Okay.
10:01So, I'm kind of curious.
10:02What is dating like for you?
10:04Dating apps.
10:05Everything is just.
10:07People respond interesting.
10:09On dating apps, I've had people ask to lick my head.
10:12People want to like touch my head or like just make weird like socializing comments almost about my hair loss.
10:19When did it start, if you don't mind me asking?
10:21No, go ahead.
10:22I'm a very open for the past like year.
10:24Like I've gone like kind of hard with like the awareness work on my social media.
10:27I do a lot of adequacy work about alopecia on my Instagram.
10:30And so it's out there.
10:32I'm pretty open about talking about it on a date.
10:34I have no issue with really answering any questions they have as long as they're not like creepy,
10:37weird bald fetish questions.
10:39So, yeah.
10:40Ever since I was six, I've pretty much just been completely bald and rocking it.
10:44Yeah.
10:45Long time ago.
10:46Yeah, it is for sure.
10:47Yeah.
10:48But I guess maybe because you grew up with it, it's not something I guess maybe that you.
10:52Mm-hmm.
10:53It's always pretty much how I've seen myself with the exception of some photos.
10:55I feel a little bit lucky that like I can look at me and recognize myself.
11:00So there's no real cure for alopecia.
11:02I hate the word cure though because that insinuates there's like something wrong or bad.
11:08And I imperfectly find the way I am.
11:09There's really nothing I need to like recover or cure from.
11:12So I'm kind of curious like what are you looking for in a partner?
11:15I've always been the kind of person who's like date to date long term.
11:19Like I'm not really into hookup culture.
11:22So I've been in like one serious relationship.
11:25I definitely got stuck in it because of my hair loss a little bit.
11:28Because I thought maybe I'll never find anyone else.
11:31I knew I was worth more than what I was given.
11:33And once I realized that, I was able to break it off at the end when I found that confidence.
11:37But also someone just like down to earth.
11:40A nice human being which seems hard to find these days sometimes.
11:43Someone who's not allergic to cats maybe too.
11:47Because you're not allergic to cats right now.
11:49I used to be, I'm not anymore.
11:50Okay, there you go.
11:51I got shots, a lot of them for a while.
11:53So, and I like cats a lot too.
11:55It's not just that I'm not looking for.
11:57Yeah.
11:57All those fails, I will just be a crazy cat lady.
12:00But I'm hoping I can find someone too as you know, what I'm looking for.
12:04Yeah, I get that.
12:06I couldn't have really said it better myself.
12:07I mean, I know 24 is not old.
12:10But I'm definitely kind of feeling that same dating to date.
12:17Allison's condition didn't change how I saw or thought of her.
12:21We had a great conversation.
12:22We gelled together really nice.
12:24The date went really good.
12:25I'm actually kind of shocked at how good it went.
12:28It was really cool that he knew like immediately alopecia was.
12:30I was really attracted to her.
12:31I thought that she had a really nice smile, which is a very big thing for me.
12:35I definitely think he's cute.
12:38You think he'll meet up again?
12:40I think we will.
12:41And I hope that he wants to too.
12:44Yeah, I think we could.
12:45I definitely had a good time.
12:47It seemed like she did.
12:48So I hope that's how she felt.
12:50I think this experience definitely made me more hopeful.
12:52Maybe it will help me get back out there more.
13:01Today, I'm going on my first ever blind date.
13:04I don't know anything about my date.
13:05I honestly haven't had much experience dating as a bald woman.
13:09On dating apps, I'll have guys message me first.
13:12And they're like, oh, like, I like your shaved head.
13:15And so obviously, I tell them about alopecia.
13:17And then they unmatch me right afterwards.
13:19Well, I have alopecia areata.
13:20So that's an autoimmune disease and it causes your hair to fall out.
13:26Hi, I'm Dani Candre.
13:27I'm 23 years old and I'm from the Inland Empire.
13:30I do plus size modeling with an agency in LA.
13:33And then I also work at a gym on the side.
13:35Today, I'm going on my first ever blind date.
13:38I honestly haven't had much experience dating as a bald woman.
13:42My last relationship that I had, that was my first relationship
13:45where the guy only knew me as a bald woman.
13:48I suppose I'm open to a relationship.
13:50I'm not looking for one though.
13:53My name is Cameron Jackson.
13:54I'm 29 and for a living, I am an actor, full-time and musician.
13:58Today, I am going on a blind date.
14:00My very first blind date.
14:02I get to sit across from a beautiful lady,
14:04get to talk, have a conversation, have some food, have some drinks.
14:07Perfect to me.
14:08Sounds great.
14:09Wow.
14:10Hi.
14:11How you doing?
14:13Hi, nice to meet you.
14:14Nice to meet you.
14:15Cameron, nice to meet you.
14:18Uh-oh.
14:18How you feeling?
14:19I feel good.
14:20I'm excited.
14:21I like your shirt.
14:21It's really nice.
14:22I like yours.
14:23I like yours.
14:23It's a nice yellow, nice beautiful sunny day, blue sky, and a yellow dress.
14:28Now, we got a nice menu coming out here.
14:30So is there anything that you are looking forward to?
14:35Me too.
14:35What about you?
14:36Sorry, I got lost in your eyes.
14:37Oh, shit.
14:38You're eyes are beautiful.
14:40I appreciate that.
14:41I like a guy that can make me laugh.
14:43Physically, I like guys that are tall, pretty eyes.
14:47I love a nice smile.
14:49Have you ever done this before?
14:50A blind date?
14:51No, I have never done this before.
14:52Never?
14:53Okay.
14:54What about you?
14:54No.
14:55No?
14:55Part of time.
14:56What do you do for work?
14:57I'm an actor full-time and musician.
15:00So I do both.
15:01Acting is really my full-time thing right now.
15:03Music, actually, when I came down here,
15:04was more of my focus.
15:06Yeah.
15:06And then it just so happens that acting just started.
15:09I love music, too.
15:10I don't really do music anymore,
15:12but I originally went to school for music.
15:15Yeah, so I played trumpet.
15:16Like, I did all...
15:17Any music group at my school that was offered,
15:19I would join it.
15:20Yeah, marching band, jazz band.
15:22Like, I loved all of that stuff.
15:23What was it that you were seeking to...
15:25What were your goals?
15:26Realistically, I want to be a motivational speaker.
15:28That's my, like, dream that I want to do.
15:30What would you like to speak about motivationally to people?
15:33Well, I have alopecia.
15:36I don't know if you know what that is.
15:37I just recently heard about it and read about it.
15:40How did you hear about it?
15:41It started with the Jada Pinkett thing,
15:43and then for some reason I started reading,
15:45and then all of a sudden all my YouTube videos started popping up.
15:48That's so funny.
15:48Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:49So I did a lot of that.
15:50So alopecia is an autoimmune disease,
15:52and it causes your hair to fall out.
15:54And a simple way to put it is that I'm, like, allergic to my hair.
15:57The type of alopecia that I have is alopecia areata,
16:00and that means that my hair falls out in patches.
16:03On dating apps, I'll have guys message me first,
16:06and they're like, oh, like, I like your shaved head.
16:09I like your look.
16:10Did you do it by choice?
16:11And so obviously, I tell them about alopecia,
16:14and then they unmatch me right afterwards.
16:15They're, like, bothered by that.
16:16I've had people in person and on dating apps,
16:20they'll be like, does the carpet match the drapes?
16:22Immediately, I'm like, no, no, don't talk to me.
16:27Yes, I could probably,
16:29if I got a dollar for every time someone told me that,
16:31I could pay off my students.
16:34When was it that you first found confidence in having it?
16:37Like, freshman year of high school,
16:39for my sophomore year photo, I took my photo without my wig,
16:42which is, like, a big deal because I would hide with wigs.
16:46Like, I just covered my face, did not want anyone to see me.
16:49I've been wearing wigs from when I was four years old,
16:52up until I was 20 years old.
16:54When I was in college, it was during finals week.
16:56I was rushing to my final.
16:57I was super late.
16:58It was a very windy day, and I'm rushing into the building,
17:01and a gust of wind just, like, swoops my hair away.
17:06And immediately, I was just, like, re-traumatized.
17:09Even though I'm an adult, I'm in college,
17:10like, these are my finals.
17:12I'm re-traumatized because when I was a kid,
17:14that would happen to me.
17:15People would pull off my wig.
17:16During recess, my wig would fly away.
17:18So it just, all of these memories were flooded into me.
17:21Then I realized, like, okay, I can't do this anymore.
17:23I'm too dependent on this thing.
17:25Like, it's controlling my life.
17:27And so I just showed up to school without my hair.
17:29Okay, I'm talking too much, though.
17:31No, you're not.
17:31You need to tell me a little bit about you.
17:33Where I come from, I come from a city called Lansing, Michigan.
17:37Where I'm from, it's, like,
17:38been able to really make a big impact and do things.
17:40You have to step outside.
17:42You got to go do your thing and then bring it back home.
17:44So for me, one of my goals is to really establish a foundation out here.
17:49Take it to the top.
17:50Be one of the best actors all the time.
17:51You know, be up there with some of the greats.
17:53And then use my platform to be able to bridge a gap between where I'm from.
17:58And here, pave a way where kids are going to have to do all the things that I have to do
18:01to get where I'm at.
18:02Absolutely.
18:03Give it back to your community.
18:04Exactly.
18:05It's important to me, so.
18:06For sure.
18:07It's just light.
18:09You are light, you know.
18:10It's nice to have, to see some light.
18:12But it's nice to see light, you know, and have that brightness there.
18:16That's clearly, you have a lot of this.
18:17That's so nice.
18:18I've never been told that before.
18:19Really?
18:20It's true.
18:20Oh, it's true.
18:21It's true.
18:22Will you excuse me?
18:22Just a second.
18:23Go ahead.
18:24Go ahead.
18:25It's going well.
18:26He seems very nice.
18:27It's so funny when he walked in, you see his, like, unbuttoned shirt.
18:30I, like, imagine, you know, like, those, like, romance novels and the guys, like, on a horse.
18:34That's, that's what I thought when I saw him.
18:38She really is full of light.
18:39It seems like, um, it's just, you can feel it, um, just her personality and who she is,
18:45what she represents, what she does.
18:47To me, it's, like, all around fascinating.
18:50So, it's, it's, it's wonderful.
18:52Yeah, I wanted to know more about the alopecia, of course.
18:54And, of course, she has fantastic answers and does wonderful things and very confident
18:59in herself and things like that.
19:00So, it's beautiful.
19:01It's beautiful.
19:02Do you go out at all?
19:05So, I'll, um, occasionally, like, a couple times a month.
19:08Like, I'm really not, like, a big partier.
19:10I only go out unless it's, like, there's an event.
19:12I'm meeting with a director.
19:14I am invited to, like, a private thing.
19:16Where you're at, you have a lot going on.
19:17You have a career move.
19:19You have all these different, um, things going on.
19:21Do you feel like a relationship is something that can flow easily in your life
19:25or that can be, uh, more of a distraction for where you're at right now?
19:29It definitely depends on the person that I would be dating.
19:32Yeah.
19:33I'm open to a relationship.
19:34I'm not, like, actively looking for one, but I am open to it.
19:38Are you looking for a relationship?
19:40I'm not looking, um, it would be great and nice to find somebody who can enhance
19:45and not take away, you know, or help, you know, come in with the same type of focus
19:51and not distract.
19:52That would be beautiful.
19:53You know, it's hard to find, um, but I believe for it.
19:57I believe it's possible for sure.
19:58So, um, I definitely want to exchange contacts with you.
20:00Yeah, for sure.
20:01So, uh, Danny, that's the end of the day.
20:04How did that go?
20:05It went really well.
20:06He's super cool.
20:07Um, I think I'd want to see him again for sure.
20:10Um, he's honestly just a joy to be around.
20:11You could just, just his personality.
20:13And I really liked his drive and how motivated he is.
20:16You guys are going to exchange, like, contact details?
20:18Yeah.
20:21Yeah.
20:22How did that go?
20:23Fantastic.
20:24I loved it.
20:25It was a great experience.
20:26Way better than I thought it was going to be.
20:28She was amazing.
20:29Fantastic.
20:30And, um, yeah, it was, it was, it was bomb.
20:32I think I'm extremely attracted to her.
20:35I think in every single way, to be honest with you, um, inside and out, you know, she just has it.
20:41She just has the it factor.
20:43So, it's safe to say you would want to see her again.
20:45I know for a fact I'm definitely going to.
20:47I know I will.
20:48I know for a fact that I will.
20:50So guys, that's the end of the day.
20:51How do you think that went?
20:53It went very well.
20:54Really great.
20:55Yeah.
20:56I loved it.
20:58It was really nice.
20:58Yeah, I enjoyed it.
20:59Again, she's very vibrant, very light, very bright, very awesome, confident in herself.
21:05I really love your drive.
21:07Like, how motivated you are.
21:08Not only that, you're like super handsome.
21:12So, the big question is when you guys want to see each other again?
21:16I'm going to let her say it.
21:17For me, it's definitely a goal for me.
21:19Yeah, I'm down.
21:20I'm down to hang out again.
21:21Yes, absolutely.
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