How dating apps are changing the search for love

DW (English)

Apps make searching for love or easy sex more convenient. But having more options can make selecting a partner harder and commitment more complicated. How is this changing dating culture and our society?

Transcript

00:00The typical Tinder date is efficient and non-committal.

00:04Meeting several people one after another is no longer frowned upon.

00:11You want to get lots of matches.

00:13You want to meet up with lots of different people, but for short periods.

00:17Rather than saying, for example,

00:19I'm going to meet up with two potential partners and really get to know them.

00:23That's what we call low-cost logic,

00:25meaning it should be quick and not require too much emotional energy.

00:29The attitude is, I don't want to risk much or spend much money.

00:34Investing as little as possible, yet holding people to a high standard.

00:39After all, why settle for good enough,

00:42when the perfect match might just be one swipe away?

00:46The large pool of people on the apps can make decisions harder.

00:50Researchers call this choice overload.

00:52And we start to forget how to approach a person

00:55and strike up a conversation in real life.

00:58If all we do is practice how to approach each other online,

01:01it becomes more and more difficult for us to do so offline.

01:05You get the feeling you can't make contact in public spaces or initiate dates.

01:09Men have the feeling it's too risky to do so in a straight setting.

01:12Women lose the ability to signal that they can be approached,

01:15even though, interestingly, many want to be.

01:18Even when a date goes well, many users remain active on the apps.

01:22The fear that their partner might still be using Bumble or Tinder

01:26leads to frustration or insecurity.

01:28And ghosting, suddenly breaking off contact without explanation,

01:32is becoming more normalized.

01:35The dating app mentality has an impact on real life, too.

01:39We don't just ghost in the apps.

01:41We ghost our therapists, our dentists.

01:43We ghost the handyman we hired ourselves.

01:45Ghosting has spilled over.

01:48Our behaviors online and offline influence each other.

01:52Today, dating apps are not only used to find a partner, but also to find friends.

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