Sundae Conversation with Sketch

Barstool Sports

5/19/2024

Caleb Pressley | Sundae Conversation

Transcript

00:00 (upbeat music)

00:02 - Are we live here?

00:03 - Sketch.

00:05 - Brother.

00:05 - What's up, brother?

00:06 - What's up, sister?

00:07 - When you think about the word brother,

00:11 the actual word, how would you break it down?

00:13 The etymology of the word.

00:15 Do you mind if we do a new segment

00:17 presented by Raisin Canes?

00:18 - Yes, please.

00:19 Yes, please.

00:20 Broth.

00:24 - This is easy.

00:25 - Liquid.

00:26 - Right?

00:28 - Liquid chicken.

00:29 - Liquid chicken.

00:29 - No.

00:33 - This is easy.

00:34 - No.

00:34 - This is hard.

00:35 - No, I'm not a hard.

00:36 - You're a hardy man.

00:37 - I am as soft as baby shit, brother.

00:38 Don't put that on me.

00:39 Flip it the other way around.

00:40 R-E, real estate agent.

00:42 Real estate, that's what I come from.

00:43 - Real estate?

00:44 - Come from there.

00:45 - Shut up.

00:46 - Homegrown.

00:47 - I said shut up.

00:48 You used to sell real estate?

00:51 - I used to sell a thing or two.

00:52 - Would you sell land or houses?

00:54 - Land first, houses next.

00:56 - If you're looking for land for real estate,

00:58 you're looking for land and there's a mountain on it,

01:01 if there's mountains on it, is that good or bad?

01:04 - If there's two mountains, it's always good.

01:06 Twin peaks, brother, twin peaks.

01:08 - You're talking some boobs now.

01:09 What do you think about these ladies

01:12 who have fake mountains?

01:14 Is that okay with you?

01:17 - Love natural beauty.

01:18 For me, it's about sightseeing.

01:19 Sometimes the peak isn't as good as the journey.

01:22 It's about the journey.

01:23 - Fake mountains, is that whole milk?

01:26 - No, there's no way.

01:28 I don't know how that works, dude.

01:30 They pull it through like a balloon animal or something.

01:35 I have no clue what goes on there.

01:36 I thought they were like hockey pucks or something.

01:38 - Which means?

01:40 - Pretty solid, you can't go through it,

01:41 probably gotta go around it.

01:43 I don't know, do they have Bluetooth

01:44 or something in those things now?

01:45 They're probably pretty high tech.

01:47 Some of them now look like missile silos.

01:49 Like they just open up and they probably come out

01:51 and they have two guns coming out.

01:53 - Were you bottle fed?

01:54 - Nope.

01:55 Mother loved me.

01:57 Loved me so much, she popped that thing out wherever.

02:00 - When there's a woman in public nursing her child,

02:04 sometimes Glynnie will look and stare in a sexual way.

02:09 Is that weird?

02:10 - Is it definitely a little too much there?

02:15 - It's never happened.

02:18 - Why is he turning red if it's never happened?

02:20 - That is definitely a red flag there.

02:23 Writing's on the wall.

02:24 - Fake news.

02:25 - A little truth in everything,

02:25 that's what I like to say.

02:28 - Do you mind if we do a new segment

02:29 presented by Raisin Canes?

02:31 - Love the chicken, love the coleslaw.

02:33 Little freaky guy here.

02:36 - Are you a freak?

02:37 You're a freak, huh?

02:38 - I can get up there?

02:41 - What does that mean, you can get up there?

02:44 It's a bunk bed?

02:45 - Oh no, no, not a bunk bed, it's just short strokes.

02:47 It's more like a jackhammer.

02:48 It's like I'm trying to break through concrete or something.

02:51 It's like, you know, have you ever been in your hotel room

02:54 and room service comes by, a couple of those?

02:58 That's what I'm like.

02:59 You know, pretty quick.

03:03 Short rest.

03:05 - Blue balls, did you say you're a freak?

03:06 - No, very vanilla.

03:08 - How would you describe your freakiness

03:09 if you had to put it in hotel terms?

03:10 - In hotel terms?

03:12 Fuck, that's a good one.

03:13 - It's like a bellhop.

03:15 - Maybe the shower door closing once.

03:17 You know, the ones that slide across?

03:20 Quick shower.

03:21 - That's really it.

03:24 - I don't know.

03:26 That's a loaded question,

03:27 you're really thinking about many hotel--

03:29 - I'm just asking.

03:31 - Reservable, sorry, thank you.

03:33 - Is that not a fair question?

03:34 - I think any question.

03:35 - To be good at a video game, what do you have to do?

03:39 Fast fingers?

03:40 - Fast fingers, fast reactions.

03:42 It's all about upstairs, upstairs.

03:45 From here up, I'm a gamer.

03:47 Here down, I'm just a regular dude.

03:53 - How do you think you're gonna die?

03:55 - Probably, hopefully not a plane crash,

03:56 but that's how I envision it every time I fly.

03:59 That's why I usually drink on a flight.

04:02 - How'd you get here?

04:03 - A plane.

04:05 - Are we talking to a drunk sketch right now?

04:07 - Drunk sketch?

04:08 There's nothing sketch, okay.

04:09 I'll tell you what, I hand over my liquor,

04:12 you know, like a grown man.

04:14 - I'm trying to just do a timeline of your life.

04:16 So you were born,

04:18 then you went to college,

04:22 then you went to real estate,

04:25 and you did this, and you live in?

04:28 - Inner city, that's Houston, brother.

04:30 Rage down to the bone.

04:32 - Do you mind if we do a new segment

04:35 sponsored by Raisin Canes?

04:39 - I was gonna say, drop it on me.

04:41 - You don't mind?

04:42 - I love it.

04:44 - This new segment is called,

04:45 Is That Houston?

04:47 Or Is That The Middle East?

04:48 - It's awesome.

04:50 - Lots of oil.

04:51 (suspenseful music)

04:53 - Houston, and the Middle East, both of them.

04:55 - Lots of weapons.

04:56 - That is 44 acres home, Houston, Texas.

05:02 - Never won the AFC Championship.

05:04 - That's a pretty low blow there.

05:09 - Houston or the Middle East?

05:10 - That's a pretty low blow there, but that's Houston.

05:12 - Nope, that was the Middle East.

05:13 - Okay.

05:14 - What would you do to win the Super Bowl?

05:16 - I don't know, I don't know.

05:20 Lots of things, probably too many things.

05:22 Probably too many things that put me

05:24 in the same category as Deshaun, but I don't know.

05:27 This is probably bad reference.

05:28 Okay, no, just kidding.

05:30 Cut that, just kidding.

05:31 Don't cut anything, keep everything.

05:33 Okay, sorry for clapping, sorry for screaming.

05:35 I don't know how this is, I'm getting,

05:40 okay, we're good, I'm good.

05:42 - Why are you looking at me like that?

05:43 - I'm not looking at you with anything.

05:44 If I wanted to look at you sideways,

05:46 I'd give you the side eye.

05:47 (dramatic music)

05:50 - Praise God, brother, praise God!

05:54 [BLANK_AUDIO]

Sundae Conversation with Sketch

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