What If Everyone Farted at the Same Time? (SquareSpace hostread)

WHAT IF

Everybody farts. And it's no secret that they're smelly, gross, and embaressing at times. But what if, instead of trying to hide our flatulence, we all just let it out?

Transcript

00:00 Before we get to today's episode,

00:02 we'd just like to give a huge shout-out

00:04 to our sponsor, Squarespace.

00:07 Everybody farts.

00:10 And it's no secret that they're smelly,

00:13 gross, and embarrassing at times.

00:16 But what if,

00:18 instead of trying to hide our flatulence,

00:21 we all just let it out?

00:25 What if everyone on Earth

00:28 decided to fart at exactly the same time?

00:32 People fart,

00:54 on average, 12 to 25 times a day,

00:58 producing a daily total

01:00 of just over one liter of gas.

01:02 Some people make close to two liters.

01:05 Luckily, the majority of them don't smell,

01:08 but the rest of them definitely do.

01:12 So what would happen

01:14 if the world decided not to fart

01:16 for a single day,

01:18 and then 7.8 billion people

01:21 released a massive trouser trumpet

01:23 at the exact same time?

01:26 But before we get to that,

01:28 we should probably understand

01:31 what our tooths are made of.

01:33 Your fart is made up of six different gases.

01:36 The majority of it is nitrogen.

01:39 Then we have some hydrogen,

01:41 carbon dioxide,

01:42 and who could forget, oxygen.

01:44 But there are two gases

01:46 that aren't as common

01:48 in your everyday stinker.

01:50 Depending on your diet,

01:51 you might have methane in your farts.

01:54 This is the chemical

01:55 that makes your farts flammable.

01:57 And next, there's sulfur.

02:00 This is what produces a fart's vile smell.

02:04 All these gases being released

02:06 into the air at the same time

02:08 can't be good, can it?

02:11 Well, if we all knew something like this

02:14 was going to happen,

02:15 we could prepare for it.

02:17 Everyone on the planet

02:18 could position themselves

02:19 so that they're not smelling

02:21 too many gross farts.

02:23 You could hide out in a field,

02:24 or on a balcony,

02:26 hoping to avoid the main stink of the gas.

02:29 And some people could prepare

02:31 by eating lots of dairy or beans

02:34 to help them produce the loudest

02:36 and smelliest fart they've ever had.

02:39 But what if we didn't know

02:41 this was going to happen,

02:42 and suddenly, everyone's bodies

02:45 let out their daily fart quota

02:47 all in one go?

02:49 Well, that's where things could

02:51 potentially get dangerous.

02:53 If you were in your bedroom

02:55 and let one out,

02:56 or in a park,

02:57 away from other people,

02:58 then you'd be perfectly fine.

03:00 But if you were in a densely packed area,

03:04 then things would be very different.

03:07 Imagine standing in a hot, crowded subway,

03:10 when suddenly the hundreds of passengers

03:12 on board all let out a giant stinker.

03:15 You'd have hundreds of liters

03:17 of nitrogen, hydrogen, methane, and sulfur

03:21 all packed into one subway car.

03:24 It would be incredibly loud,

03:26 and inhaling the smell

03:28 would be enough to make you pass out

03:30 if you're not careful.

03:32 And densely populated cities

03:34 like New York and Hong Kong

03:36 would experience a similar effect.

03:39 The millions of people

03:40 tightly packed into those areas

03:42 would all fart,

03:43 and produce millions of liters of gases.

03:46 The sounds coming from everyone's butt cheeks

03:49 would make your ears ring.

03:50 But being outside would definitely help

03:53 to keep your eardrums from being shattered.

03:56 Places like Italy and the Middle East

03:58 might be especially stinky,

04:01 since typical diets there

04:02 can produce a smellier booty burp.

04:06 The world would become the ultimate Dutch oven.

04:10 Oh God, that's so gross.

04:11 Why did I even say that?

04:13 I need to evaluate my life choices.

04:15 Maybe I should quit this VO thing

04:17 and start a website or something.

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05:04 of a website or domain.

05:06 Now, let's see what will happen to your body

05:08 with all this gas in the air.

05:11 At this point in one of our videos,

05:13 you're probably expecting everyone to die,

05:15 or the world to end.

05:17 But with everyone farting at the same time,

05:20 that wouldn't be the case.

05:22 Sure, there might be some deaths and injuries

05:25 from the gases and the volume of farts,

05:27 but the vast majority of people would be fine.

05:31 Eventually, the gases would dissipate,

05:33 and everything would get back to normal.

05:36 Not to mention, a lot of them

05:37 might not even stink,

05:39 as just 1% of our daily farts

05:42 have any sulfur in them.

05:44 And all the gases we let loose

05:47 wouldn't harm the planet either.

05:49 Think about it.

05:49 Everyone farts multiple times a day,

05:51 so even though we all did it at the same time,

05:54 it wouldn't make much of a difference.

05:56 We already expel these gases

05:58 into the air every day.

06:01 But what about all the methane

06:02 our farts produce?

06:04 Well, don't worry about that either,

06:06 as 50% of farts don't produce any methane.

06:10 So lighting a match

06:12 wouldn't produce an epic fireball explosion

06:15 out of nowhere.

06:17 All in all, this would be a smelly,

06:19 loud, and gross event,

06:21 but that's about it.

06:24 Now, what would happen if,

06:26 instead of farting,

06:28 you sat on the toilet for 24 hours?

06:32 Well, that's a story for another WHAT IF.

06:37 (upbeat music)

06:40 (upbeat music)

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