Coca-Cola Zero Sugar and ESSENCE brought the season 5 cast of If Not For My Girls to the Girls United Summit in Atlanta.
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00:00 If not for my girls.
00:02 [CHEERING]
00:05 What they do ATL.
00:08 Welcome you guys to the live taping of season five,
00:11 If Not For My Girls, presented by Coke Zero Sugar.
00:14 What they do y'all?
00:15 Eh, eh.
00:17 Good afternoon.
00:19 Good afternoon, ladies.
00:20 How we feel?
00:20 Blessed, black and hot.
00:21 You ready to disrupt?
00:23 Period.
00:24 What's T, everybody?
00:25 It's your girl, Bia Bia.
00:28 Let's have some fun.
00:30 What's up, y'all?
00:31 It's your girl, Prit TV.
00:32 Money Long here.
00:33 What's up, y'all?
00:37 OK.
00:38 So look, I don't know about y'all,
00:40 but since the last time I saw y'all, I've been super busy.
00:44 How about you?
00:45 Girl, first of all, busy.
00:48 Blessed, black.
00:50 I've been real busy too, y'all.
00:51 Since the last time I seen y'all, I know we all been busy.
00:54 I follow you guys.
00:55 I know what you guys--
00:56 a little bit of what y'all been up to.
00:57 But I just got off on tour.
00:59 I just got off on my first headline tour, you guys.
01:02 And it was so beautiful.
01:03 It was such a beautiful experience,
01:04 because I've never headlined a tour before.
01:07 And I got to really connect with the people in a way
01:10 I've never got to connect with them.
01:12 And kicking off a little makeup line or whatever,
01:15 I've been in the stores.
01:17 And I'm diving into the business.
01:19 And this is a side of my, I feel like,
01:21 career that I've never got to be so hands on with everything.
01:26 I feel like I'm the boss of everything.
01:28 I love that.
01:29 And I've also never seen a female rapper
01:32 have their own makeup line.
01:33 So that's super disruptive.
01:35 Yes.
01:35 Thank you.
01:36 Yes, I love glam.
01:37 All for the girls, I love glam so, so much.
01:40 What's the name of your makeup?
01:41 Beauty for Certain.
01:42 Beauty for Certain.
01:43 Love that.
01:43 It's in the Urban Outfitters right now.
01:45 And I just love disrupting things, y'all.
01:49 I love just putting my stamp on whatever I love
01:52 and I'm passionate about.
01:53 If that's glam, beauty, music, that's
01:56 what I've been doing lately.
01:57 But I don't think the people in here
01:59 made a little bit more noise than that.
02:00 Y'all got to give it up for Bia, y'all.
02:02 She got a makeup line.
02:04 Thank you.
02:04 Thank you.
02:05 A makeup line in Urban Outfitters, y'all.
02:07 Yeah.
02:07 That's dope.
02:08 Super.
02:09 Jesus.
02:10 I just been working.
02:12 I think this season has been a shift for a lot of people.
02:16 Even for myself, I know me being a comedian, an actress,
02:20 and a philanthropist, and just having my businesses as well.
02:23 But I also feel like there's a shift.
02:25 And I just think people just been shifting in this season
02:28 from me and just me kind of changing up what I want to do.
02:32 And I think that's what I've been diving in lately.
02:34 I've been working, but I've also been like,
02:36 what else do you have for me, God?
02:38 I know it can't be just this.
02:40 I just want more.
02:41 And just trying to have that team who believes in you.
02:44 Because sometimes when you're in this industry,
02:46 you just want believers around you.
02:47 I just don't want me to just be the artist
02:48 that cut a check for you.
02:50 You have to really love what I do.
02:51 You have to study.
02:52 Like, I study Jim Carrey.
02:54 I want y'all to study Pretty Vee to really know what's next.
02:57 What do you see for me, and how can you
02:59 contribute to my brand?
03:01 So I've been in that space heavy lately.
03:03 I love that.
03:04 And I do, just to add to what you said,
03:05 I feel like you have to surround yourself
03:07 with people who care about you, your well-being, who
03:13 want to support you and uplift you,
03:15 and all your ideas, your vision.
03:18 Not just around for the check.
03:21 You know what I'm saying?
03:22 And I feel like, too, creativity thrives where there's love,
03:28 where you feel safe.
03:32 It's almost like a little child, when they come into a room
03:36 and they don't know nobody, they're very reserved.
03:39 And when you're surrounded with love
03:41 and people make you feel comfortable and safe,
03:43 you feel more freedom to express.
03:47 And I think maybe that's where, in this social media age,
03:50 where everybody's watching you with a microscope,
03:54 it's hard to just take that first step,
03:57 because you're afraid, like, oh, god,
03:59 what if they think I'm stupid?
04:00 What if they don't like it?
04:01 What if I get canceled?
04:02 I can't express my opinion without somebody being upset.
04:06 And so just surrounding yourself with people
04:07 who love and care about you is very, very important.
04:12 Very important.
04:13 That's crazy, because people always ask,
04:15 when you're picking a manager or when you're
04:17 cultivating your team with music or entertainment in any way,
04:21 they always ask, how do you go about finding the right team?
04:23 Or how do you go about finding a team?
04:25 And I always say, for me, nobody is
04:28 going to work harder for you than the people that genuinely
04:31 care about you or care about your well-being or your family.
04:34 So me and my team, we know each other's whole family.
04:38 We know each other's moms, our brothers and sisters.
04:40 So there's something personal there
04:44 that we want to see each other win.
04:46 So we go a little bit harder to make sure
04:48 that we're each going as hard as we need to go
04:50 to get where we need to be.
04:51 Yeah, and in order to disrupt, you
04:53 got to have a team of people who will back you up,
04:56 even if you look--
04:57 Crazy.
04:57 --crazy.
04:58 Right.
04:59 You need to have a team of people that's
05:01 going to be like, no, that's intentional.
05:03 That's exactly what it's supposed to be doing.
05:04 You know what I'm saying?
05:05 Because a lot of times, as a disruptor,
05:08 that just means doing things that people
05:10 don't expect you to do and being a trailblazer.
05:13 So that means going in a direction
05:17 that maybe no one's gone before or nobody that
05:20 looks like you has gone before.
05:21 And you've got to have people around you who
05:23 are going to defend that for you.
05:25 What do you feel like you had to do first,
05:32 that people were like, oh, that's crazy.
05:33 You shouldn't do that.
05:34 Like, oh, that's not going to work.
05:36 And then you did it, and it worked.
05:37 And then you see maybe so many other people follow suit
05:40 and say, oh, I can do this too because of you.
05:42 My whole last year, just all the things
05:46 that I was able to do as an independent artist.
05:49 First of all, I started out as an artist.
05:52 I got discovered on YouTube years ago.
05:55 Same, me too.
05:56 Yeah, I uploaded my first video in 2004.
05:59 So shout out to YouTube.
06:02 Reminds Instagram.
06:04 And people thought I was nuts for talking to my camera.
06:08 You know, they're like, why you be doing that?
06:10 You sit there all day and just sing in front of your camera.
06:13 Like, I don't know.
06:14 It's fun.
06:16 I like it.
06:17 And I think I'm always doing things that--
06:23 well, maybe it's a virgo on me.
06:25 I don't know.
06:25 But I don't like nothing that everybody else is doing.
06:29 I want to do--
06:30 like, if it's a rack that's empty,
06:34 I will not buy that shirt because it just means
06:37 there's too many people got it.
06:39 I like going into the unknown.
06:41 I like discovering new things.
06:43 And a lot of times, that's scary for people.
06:46 And so when I started out as an artist on YouTube,
06:50 it wasn't a thing to go viral.
06:52 And then fast forward 10 years, I'm
06:55 writing songs for other people so that I can eat.
06:59 And I'm like, I feel like I've reached a ceiling with this.
07:02 I want to be an artist again.
07:04 And when I started that journey, everybody's like,
07:07 why you doing that?
07:08 You know songwriting is where it's at.
07:10 This what you need.
07:11 You good at it.
07:12 But just because you're good at something
07:13 doesn't mean that it's fulfilling to you.
07:15 And so when I shifted--
07:19 that's the word of the day, shift.
07:21 When I shifted back into artistry,
07:24 I had to do it in silence.
07:26 I had to unplug from the industry
07:28 because I knew so many people.
07:31 It's almost like when you're a baby
07:32 and they call you little doodoo, little pooh-pooh, little ray-ray.
07:36 And you grow up and you want to grow into--
07:40 take me serious.
07:41 They're like, oh, please.
07:43 It's a little boo-boo.
07:45 So I didn't want to experience a suffocation or--
07:54 I didn't want to be pigeonholed into what other people thought
07:57 I should be doing.
07:59 So I did it in silence.
08:00 And I changed the name and everything from Priscilla
08:04 Renee to Money Long.
08:06 And nobody knew.
08:08 And it wasn't until my song "Hours and Hours"
08:11 blew up that-- yes, thank you--
08:15 that everybody started hitting me.
08:18 Like, yo, is this you?
08:20 Oh my god, this song is a smash.
08:22 And I remember the first three months from December, January,
08:28 February, as the song was blowing up,
08:30 people were just like, oh my god, you actually did it.
08:33 You did it.
08:34 And so it's always going to be like that.
08:37 They're not going to believe you until they see you do it.
08:40 And then everybody's going to say, I knew you win.
08:42 You know?
08:43 I mean, I'm embarrassing.
08:49 But yeah, I would say just this whole last year of just forging
08:53 my new path.
08:54 And now I'm in a reset, in a shift, just like you,
08:57 where it's like, OK, we won the awards.
09:00 We got the hit song.
09:02 We got the Grammy.
09:04 Let's not get complacent.
09:05 Let's not rest on those laurels.
09:08 Reset.
09:09 What do I want to be in this season?
09:11 Where do I want to go in this season?
09:13 And that is very disruptive, because a lot of people feel
09:16 like, you know, I should just sit here for a second
09:18 and show off my trophy.
09:20 But I'm trying to win.
09:22 I'm trying to grow.
09:22 I'm trying to have progress, because that's
09:24 where I'm the most happy when I'm moving forward.
09:27 Yeah.
09:28 Yeah.
09:28 So what advice would you give someone
09:31 to show their talents or businesses on social media?
09:33 I could start with me.
09:37 Yeah, you start with me.
09:38 I could start.
09:39 I could start with me, because I started off
09:41 being a social media influencer.
09:43 And now I don't like to go into it as, like, I'm an influencer.
09:46 I want to go by my title, a comedian, an actress,
09:49 an all-purpose entertainer, a philanthropist,
09:52 soon to be an author.
09:53 Like, I want to walk into that, right?
09:55 So thank y'all.
09:59 But I also feel like it's hard work to get here.
10:01 You know, you have to be very prayerful.
10:04 Some things you're going to have to fail at.
10:06 You know, and when you fail, please pick it up and, you know,
10:08 watch where you fail at.
10:09 Because the thing about it is, with my mind,
10:11 I'm such a creative, and I want to keep going.
10:13 Like, I want to, like-- if I do this skit,
10:15 if I do this business, if I do this, I want to, like,
10:17 what's next?
10:18 And I was talking to Bia backstage,
10:19 and I was like, for my birthday this year,
10:21 I just wanted to be present in my blessing.
10:23 I didn't want to just, like, all right, I did DR.
10:24 Like, we back to work.
10:25 No.
10:26 When I got back home, I looked at my house.
10:28 I said, Jesus, I need you to clean this home
10:30 so I can figure out what's the next step.
10:32 Because it's October.
10:33 Then it's going to be November and December,
10:35 and I got to figure this next step out for me.
10:37 Because people, y'all see me on social media
10:39 and go viral at Desi and be Simone and the Jesses
10:41 and be on "Wild 'N Out."
10:43 That's cool.
10:44 But what is the end goal, right?
10:46 How is Pretty V going to show up for herself in this season?
10:49 How is she going to be just one person here by herself
10:54 to grasp this audience alone?
10:56 But how do you get there?
10:57 Because I've done it with people,
10:59 or I've done it by myself, but you guys haven't came out
11:01 to a stand-up show.
11:03 You guys haven't came out to a show
11:04 to see me and see my characters.
11:06 You guys just seen on social media.
11:08 So in this season, I'm just like, it's a shift for me,
11:11 and now I have to make Pretty V out there alone by herself
11:15 to get this audience to come to my show.
11:17 And how you get there is by being still
11:20 when God speaks to you, being prayerful,
11:22 but also making sure your mind is so positive to receive it.
11:28 I spoke to my team this morning.
11:29 I said, baby, there is a shift happening.
11:31 And I know it's for my good, but I got to walk into it.
11:34 And you guys know me as doing the "Ghetto Girl" skits
11:37 and being Bobo and just add it.
11:40 But then sometimes I'd be like, I get that,
11:43 but can you bears look over me because I've been
11:48 in that character for too long?
11:49 Or did Tyler Perry just went down on my page
11:52 and said, oh, I see her, but what else?
11:55 And that's why I change up my characters to Charon,
11:59 to Little Red, to the color pink lady that was in the bushes
12:03 so you could see the diversity--
12:06 color pink, now-- so you could see the diversity of me
12:09 because I'm just not that loud girl like, yeah,
12:12 how we gonna be now?
12:14 I get that, and that goes so far.
12:18 I don't want to be limited to this industry.
12:20 I want to be limitless, especially
12:21 with Jesus on my side.
12:22 You give me chills when you say that.
12:24 No, seriously.
12:25 And you said about keeping your mind, right?
12:29 Having a good time on your shoulders.
12:30 I think one of the things, because I do a lot of self
12:35 reflecting and very introspective always.
12:40 And it's not that I'm being hard on myself,
12:43 but I always want to make sure I'm looking in the mirror
12:46 and like, OK, did you really do your best?
12:48 Was that really the highest version of that performance
12:54 that you could have gave?
12:56 What notes do you have for yourself?
12:58 And so one of the things that I realized just about like,
13:02 when you're asking God and really like yourself,
13:06 because it's you who has to go out there and do it,
13:10 when you're asking for what you want,
13:14 I think we need to also remember,
13:16 because this is something that I don't think a lot of us
13:19 actually process, that you have to be
13:23 the person that is able to receive those things.
13:27 And what do I mean by that?
13:29 So you ask for a whole bunch of money, right?
13:31 And a whole bunch of success.
13:33 But do you know how to operate with that capital?
13:37 Do you know how to reinvest, play the game?
13:42 Do you know how to make those dollars work for you?
13:46 Because the dollar has no value until you use it.
13:49 So you want to make sure that you're also
13:53 working on your insides while you have all these things
13:56 on the outside.
13:58 One of the things that I said is that I really
14:00 want to make music and create things that
14:03 inspire people to action, right?
14:06 And so then I'm out in the world and I'm seeing things
14:08 that look real familiar.
14:10 And I'm like, wait a minute.
14:11 That's my thing.
14:12 But also it's like, well, that's what you said you wanted.
14:16 That's what you said you wanted to do.
14:18 You know what I'm saying?
14:19 So that energy of just like, oh, you're copying me,
14:21 or that's what you're here to do.
14:23 It's like people didn't know that they could run a four
14:25 minute mile until they saw somebody else do it.
14:28 Nobody could do it until the first person did it.
14:31 And so you have to change that energy and understand
14:35 like it's your job to keep unlocking doors,
14:38 to keep showing people, especially people
14:41 who look like you, that it's possible.
14:44 And then you continue to build and move on to the next thing,
14:47 continue disrupting, continue being a trailblazer.
14:50 Yeah.
14:51 And I just think you guys, the advice
14:52 that I would give to anybody that's
14:53 trying to be an influencer, trying to own their own
14:56 businesses, or just step out.
14:59 All you got to do is just step out.
15:00 All you got to do is just do it.
15:01 You just got to be consistent.
15:03 You got to be determined.
15:04 You got to be hungry.
15:05 You know, you got to just step and dream big.
15:07 Because again, we will fail.
15:10 You know, you will have your moments where you are still
15:13 and you're trying to figure out what do I do next.
15:15 But all you got to do is keep going.
15:17 Even when that little mind up there like, girl,
15:19 you ain't going to do it.
15:20 You ain't going to do it.
15:21 No, you will and you shall and you can.
15:24 So just step fast on that, y'all.
15:25 Like y'all could do it.
15:27 I don't know what everybody's trying to do in here,
15:29 but just keep going.
15:31 Love that.
15:31 I love that.
15:32 And then also too, rest.
15:36 Like make sure you rest.
15:37 Yes.
15:38 Make sure you spend time with family.
15:40 Make sure you-- like, you know, I'm not sure about you guys,
15:43 but I'm just like, it's Thanksgiving.
15:45 I'm getting my plate and taking my nap.
15:47 And then I'm on a business call.
15:49 What I'm saying is like, I got stuff to do.
15:51 But you got to make sure you take that pause.
15:54 Spend time with your family.
15:55 If you need a break, take a break.
15:57 You know what I'm saying?
15:58 I think my favorite part about this season, this time of year,
16:02 is that nobody else is working.
16:04 And the business kind of shuts down.
16:07 So I have no excuse, you know what I'm saying,
16:10 to step out and take a phone call.
16:13 Where normally, in my day to day,
16:15 if my phone is ringing at dinner,
16:17 I'm probably going to answer it.
16:19 You know what I'm saying?
16:20 So I think it's really important to just make those memories
16:24 at Christmas time.
16:26 Make those memories at Thanksgiving.
16:29 I don't know how y'all do Easter, and y'all family.
16:31 Dress up in your plaid with your hat.
16:33 I'm on that couch with that robe on and my honey.
16:37 Right, right.
16:37 Turkey leg.
16:38 So I don't know.
16:39 What about you guys?
16:41 What do you have planned for the holidays?
16:43 I'm always in motion.
16:44 So I never get to see my family, unless I'm
16:47 going back home to see them.
16:48 I live in LA.
16:51 And all my family lives in Massachusetts or Houston,
16:56 more towards the East Coast.
16:57 So it's always going to be like a four to six hour flight
16:59 anytime I want to go home and see them.
17:01 And I feel like what I really try to do
17:05 is just be all the way present when I'm there.
17:09 I try not to touch my phone at all.
17:11 I try to just have a personal moment with everybody,
17:14 whether it's if I pull them aside,
17:16 or have separate moments with my family.
17:19 Because things are moving so fast,
17:22 and you really don't notice how old people are getting
17:26 until you go home.
17:27 And you're like, oh my god, you didn't look like that last time
17:30 I was home.
17:31 I haven't been home for six months.
17:32 And--
17:33 No, for real.
17:34 My nephew's about to graduate high school.
17:36 The kids get so big.
17:37 The family gets older.
17:38 And it's like, you've got to just detach from work.
17:42 Yeah.
17:43 Any memories?
17:44 You got to think about them.
17:45 I used to love my grandmama's sweet potato pies.
17:48 She made these little--
17:50 and you know how you do it in a black family?
17:53 You go in that kitchen, and you get you about four of them,
17:55 and put them up in the top of the pantry.
17:58 So I definitely miss that.
18:00 I don't know.
18:01 I got some memories, but my memories just be--
18:03 I'm Jamaican.
18:04 I let people in that building.
18:07 Yes, I don't know.
18:08 Can I come to your house?
18:09 You have to, girl.
18:10 Nice-looking curry chicken on Tinaguan.
18:12 Yeah.
18:13 I mean, for me, I don't know.
18:14 I just hear a whole bunch of commotion going on.
18:17 But that's my memory.
18:17 Everybody talking loud over each other.
18:19 Everybody loud.
18:20 Somebody hating on somebody.
18:21 Why you got to wear that outfit?
18:23 It a family thing.
18:24 I'm like, let her be.
18:26 My family is crazy.
18:28 They're like--
18:29 They're just-- you're Puerto Rican, right?
18:30 Half Puerto Rican, yeah.
18:31 I have family that's like--
18:33 but my favorite, I would say my grandfather on my mom's side.
18:37 He's like real island, like real--
18:39 not island, but real foreign.
18:42 So he's one of those people that you have to--
18:45 he didn't know that I was anything who I am until he
18:49 went to another country and went to a wedding.
18:51 And somebody was like, you are related to Bia.
18:53 And that's when he really thought that I was like--
18:56 Hey, girl, what you got going on?
18:57 He didn't care about nothing.
18:59 He didn't care about any shows, any awards, any hit records,
19:04 nothing until he went to that wedding.
19:06 It's like he didn't believe in my career
19:09 until he went to a wedding and somebody was like, I know her.
19:12 Wow.
19:13 Because he's so old.
19:14 My grandfather's 90 years old, y'all.
19:16 So he's 90.
19:18 I'm so grateful to have him.
19:19 I pray for him every single day.
19:21 I'm so, so thankful to just have these moments still
19:24 with my family.
19:25 But he doesn't be on social media.
19:29 So he doesn't know anything that's
19:31 going on outside of the five TV channels that he watches.
19:36 And I go and see him, he's like, Mianga,
19:39 you didn't tell me you're famous.
19:42 And I'm like, I don't even know what to say to you.
19:45 Isn't that so awkward, though, when you go home and you're
19:47 just trying to eat and chill and they
19:49 want to ask you about everything?
19:51 Oh, so what was it like?
19:52 My uncle Googled my net worth at the kitchen table on Thanksgiving.
19:55 Yeah, it was so crazy.
19:57 I was like, that's wrong, bro.
19:59 It's not even right.
20:00 Yeah.
20:01 I think that's what it's like with family, honey.
20:02 Because when I get home, they be like, Wylie.
20:05 I'm like, go sit down.
20:08 I don't want to do that right now.
20:09 They be like, in the classroom.
20:10 Look, in the classroom.
20:11 I don't want to do that.
20:11 Pick up and kill it and kill it.
20:13 I'm trying to eat.
20:14 Right, right, right.
20:16 Are you cooking for these people?
20:18 I don't cook.
20:19 Nothing?
20:20 I mean, I do.
20:21 I do.
20:22 I do.
20:23 A little salmon from time to time.
20:26 I cook to survive.
20:27 I cook to survive.
20:28 I feel that.
20:29 You're going to get that chef right quick.
20:30 I cook to survive.
20:30 I need to.
20:31 That's one thing my mama said.
20:31 To keep a man, V, you're going to have to learn how to cook.
20:34 I said, well, I ain't got one.
20:35 So that's why we eating.
20:36 You got a little time.
20:37 I got a little time.
20:38 I do.
20:39 A little something.
20:40 The rice fryer.
20:41 What is it?
20:41 The earth fryer.
20:41 What is it?
20:42 Air fryer?
20:43 Oh my god.
20:44 She said earth.
20:46 Yeah, you don't need to cook.
20:47 You don't need to cook.
20:48 OK, no, seriously.
20:49 I could do my salmon.
20:51 I could do my turkey burgers.
20:52 I could do my sweet potato fries.
20:53 I could do-- you know, like, the do and goes.
20:56 Can you do coconut curry chicken?
20:58 You could do-- I do what?
20:59 Coconut curry chicken.
20:59 I don't do no--
21:00 Coconut curry chicken.
21:01 No, I do not, girl.
21:02 Oh, you said that last time.
21:03 I got to come get me a plate.
21:05 I'll make it for you.
21:06 Yes.
21:07 I ain't doing that.
21:08 If that guy do a grease and all that flipping and dipping
21:10 and skipping, I'm not doing that.
21:13 I'm not doing all of that.
21:14 You say, I'm not doing that.
21:15 Well, I do.
21:15 I got my little signature dishes that I'm always--
21:18 you know, if ain't nobody else making it, I'm going to make it.
21:20 OK.
21:21 A little banana pudding.
21:22 You know?
21:24 Macaroni and cheese.
21:26 OK.
21:26 Sometimes I'll do the greens.
21:28 I don't like to do the greens, because the greens,
21:30 that's like an all day--
21:31 Take too long.
21:32 --affair.
21:33 I love that.
21:34 I don't even know how to do greens.
21:34 It's just because you got to wash them and then cut them.
21:36 And then it's just-- it's too much.
21:39 Yeah.
21:40 I absolutely-- listen, if you knew my mom,
21:42 you would know how funny that is, because I was just
21:44 getting on them the other day.
21:46 I was like, stop inviting my friends to the house
21:48 when I'm not there.
21:50 Girl.
21:50 Don't do that.
21:51 I don't like that.
21:52 But she do.
21:52 She be like, we got an extra room back there.
21:54 I'm like, ah.
21:56 Don't do that.
21:57 I'm the one that sit on that couch waiting.
22:00 I'm waiting on that cornbread.
22:02 I'm with that robe and that bonnet.
22:03 I'm watching Moesha.
22:05 You know, I'm--
22:06 I'm waiting--
22:07 I'm the family member that gets dressed, gets my plate,
22:12 and then gets undressed and goes to sleep.
22:14 Like, I'm not hanging out in the kitchen with y'all, talking.
22:17 I'm going to eat, and I'm going to go to sleep.
22:18 I'm hanging out.
22:19 Yeah, I'm hanging out.
22:19 I'm falling asleep in the kitchen.
22:21 Yeah.
22:21 I'm hanging out.
22:22 Definitely not me.
22:23 I'll be like, well, all right, y'all.
22:24 What y'all finna do?
22:25 Yeah.
22:26 That's me.
22:27 Yeah, I'm hanging out.
22:28 I'm hanging out.
22:30 What else we got going on?
22:33 Hot topics.
22:33 Let's get into the hot topics.
22:34 Oh, OK.
22:34 Let's do that.
22:35 Let's get into the hot topics, y'all.
22:37 Favorite holiday song?
22:38 OK.
22:39 First of all, I love the holidays.
22:41 Absolutely love, OK?
22:43 If Mariah is the queen, I'm the princess.
22:45 Because--
22:46 Period.
22:47 Christmas was made for me.
22:49 Pun intended.
22:49 My new song "Made For Me" is out right now.
22:52 No period.
22:53 So my favorite holiday song is "Oh Holy Night,"
22:57 specifically Celine Dion version.
23:00 It's just something about that I just feel like angel
23:02 came down and just picked me up.
23:04 I really just love the Christmas tree,
23:08 the smell of the pine needles.
23:09 No fake tree for me.
23:11 I need the whole kitten caboodle, the whole shebang.
23:14 We're trimming the tree.
23:15 We're drinking eggnog.
23:17 I love that.
23:18 I'm so into it.
23:18 That's my thing, eggnog.
23:20 I like that a lot.
23:20 Spike eggnog, regular.
23:22 A little spike.
23:24 Yeah, I love holidays.
23:25 First of all, Christmas.
23:26 Ooh.
23:27 But you know my favorite, favorite, favorite,
23:32 is Valentine's Day.
23:33 Sorry, it's nothing to do right now, but it's Valentine's Day.
23:36 You can't play with me on Valentine's Day.
23:38 Why?
23:38 I don't know.
23:39 I just love-- it's just like you got to give me something.
23:43 You got to pick it up from CVS.
23:45 I don't care.
23:46 I have to see something red in my house.
23:48 Pink, red.
23:48 You got to tell me you love me.
23:50 You got to tell me something.
23:51 I have to have something on Valentine's Day.
23:53 OK, what's the best gift that you've ever received?
23:56 A vet?
23:58 So I love Jim Carrey.
24:00 Jim Carrey's my favorite.
24:01 So this guy I was talking to at the time gave me--
24:05 it was so many flowers in my house.
24:07 I walked in, it was so many flowers.
24:09 And then Jim Carrey poster picture
24:11 was sitting right in the middle of my hallway.
24:16 Oh, that's sweet.
24:16 Oh my god.
24:18 So sweet.
24:18 Remember it.
24:19 I thought he was going to give me Eddie Murphy, what I love.
24:23 That's so sweet.
24:23 So your favorite holiday is Valentine's Day?
24:26 Yes.
24:27 Mine's Thanksgiving.
24:28 I see I'm still thinking about the food.
24:30 That's terrible.
24:31 I'm terrible.
24:32 OK, so I'll take Christmas.
24:34 I'm fine with that.
24:35 I'm Christmas, but Valentine's Day.
24:37 Ain't got nothing to do right now.
24:38 Well, I like Christmas because you
24:39 could get dressed for Christmas.
24:40 Christmas I always feel like you could put a good look on.
24:44 One thing about me, I love a good look.
24:46 I mean, I'm definitely going to give ugly sweater on Christmas.
24:49 Yes.
24:50 I'm going to give a fashionable sweater with a nice look.
24:52 I'm definitely going to give you a corny look.
24:52 I like all of that corny stuff.
24:54 Yeah, I'm definitely going to give you
24:56 brush no teeth, Bonnie in a robe, in a sock,
24:59 like when the food ready, where my gifts at.
25:01 Like, that's it.
25:02 That's crazy.
25:03 I ain't putting no star on the tree.
25:04 No one's doing a look for Christmas or Thanksgiving?
25:06 Child.
25:07 OK, if I'm going to my-- this is what it is.
25:09 I'm from Miami, right?
25:11 If we got to go somewhere, I literally--
25:13 we'll go to the auntie and cousins and grandma's house
25:16 and auntie's house and look fly.
25:17 At home, give me that Bonnie in that robe.
25:20 At home, yeah.
25:21 If I got to go somewhere, it's always like, get ready.
25:23 Auntie so-and-so is cooking at 7,
25:24 then we'll get ready and get fly.
25:26 But if I'm just chilling, I'm really like hair looking crazy,
25:29 like Bonnie me, robe me.
25:31 Crusting your eye.
25:32 Crusting my eye.
25:33 Like, foot dragging.
25:35 If I am doing that, it's a nice--
25:37 it's a real good robe with a matching slipper.
25:40 Come on now, Bia.
25:41 You're doing too much.
25:41 No, but you know what?
25:42 I love it.
25:43 I love the look, y'all.
25:44 I see Bia, she is ranch.
25:47 She be dressing, OK?
25:49 I'm committed to the look, you guys.
25:51 Everywhere, everywhere.
25:51 I had to give it to you, always.
25:53 From head to toe, no matter what.
25:54 It'd be a you to be fly though.
25:55 I love the look, y'all.
25:56 It's like, how could we go to Thanksgiving without a look?
25:59 I put together like a cute--
26:01 Table sweater?
26:01 Like a little sweater.
26:03 But I'm not getting dressed dressed.
26:05 OK, so what's the craziest thing that
26:07 happened at y'all dinner table during Thanksgiving?
26:09 The craziest thing?
26:12 Well, I don't know.
26:13 I don't think my chicken was cooked.
26:16 Uh-uh.
26:17 I was like, who did it?
26:18 Chicken.
26:19 You cooked it?
26:20 I think I cooked it.
26:20 That's why.
26:21 I don't be sticking around long enough to see nothing crazy.
26:28 I'm going to sleep.
26:29 Oh, I know something.
26:31 My grandfather always gets everybody wine drunk.
26:33 Like, he gets everybody wine drunk.
26:36 So by the time Thanksgiving or Christmas is over,
26:39 somebody is can't-- like, passed out.
26:42 Like, in the food.
26:43 That sounds like fun.
26:44 Like, face down on the table.
26:46 Every time.
26:47 That sounds like a lot of fun.
26:49 Because he makes the wine by himself.
26:51 What?
26:51 So by hand.
26:52 So people think that it's like light.
26:54 It's not going to get them drunk.
26:55 Three glasses over with.
26:58 Oh, see, now that's why I want to come to your house.
27:00 You should come.
27:01 I want to try that.
27:02 I would love that.
27:02 See, and my mama a pastor.
27:04 So all that glory to glory to glory.
27:07 She just whipping up the little mashed potatoes.
27:09 I'm like, mom, come on now.
27:10 Put on some little--
27:11 give me some biggies, some Tupac, something.
27:13 That's like-- I mean, my holidays is lit always.
27:16 But it's always something.
27:17 I think the chicken for me.
27:18 And I don't eat meat no more because of that.
27:20 Really?
27:21 I just do all fish.
27:24 I don't do no chicken.
27:25 Very healthy.
27:25 I don't do none of that.
27:26 I do a little lamb chop if I'm feeling lamby.
27:29 If I'm feeling lamby.
27:30 If I'm feeling lamby, I do the lamby.
27:31 If I'm feeling turkey burgers, I do that.
27:33 But when it comes to chicken and pork and beef, that's not me.
27:36 Shrimp, I don't do shrimp either.
27:38 See, I need to get like you.
27:39 I don't do lobsters.
27:40 I don't do-- I just do--
27:41 No shrimp and lobster towers?
27:42 --peppers, salmon.
27:43 Girl.
27:44 Mahi mahi, that's me.
27:46 I don't do no shrimp.
27:47 I don't do lobsters.
27:48 I don't do that.
27:49 And I'm in that gym.
27:51 Can't relate.
27:52 Yeah.
27:53 I'll be eating.
27:54 Look, I had some bacon this morning.
27:56 It was so good.
27:57 See, turkey bacon would be good for me.
27:58 I'll do that.
27:59 But--
27:59 That's like girl math.
28:01 Somebody brings you and be like, what do you want to eat?
28:03 I don't know.
28:03 I'm hungry. What do you want?
28:05 I don't know.
28:06 I'm going to get whatever you get.
28:09 I'm like the expert at girl math, OK?
28:11 So like, if I go--
28:13 OK, let's use Black Friday since it's coming up.
28:15 I will buy 20 pairs of shoes on sale,
28:19 and it only equals one pair of shoes, you know,
28:23 if I had got it at the regular-- that's girl math.
28:26 You know what I'm saying?
28:27 I just feel like there's nothing--
28:29 you know, there's nothing wrong with just thinking ahead.
28:33 You know what I'm saying?
28:34 Because you never know what you're going to need.
28:36 Oh, this is a cute little, you know, blue boot.
28:38 You never know when you're going to need a blue boot.
28:40 And then you run across a nice little blue jacket,
28:42 and you're like, oh, see, I'm glad I got that boot two
28:45 years ago that I never wore.
28:47 That happens to me all the time.
28:49 I don't be catching the sales, though.
28:51 You got to-- but see, you got to know when they are.
28:54 You got to stay up on it, because you can't--
28:56 if you're trying to catch the sale,
28:58 that mean you already too late.
28:59 Yeah.
28:59 Because somebody done rummaged through
29:00 and got all the good stuff.
29:01 I be ready to get it at the grocery store with a two
29:04 to hang on the almond milk.
29:05 I don't know about the mall thing.
29:06 Because I just be buying stuff, so I don't be looking.
29:08 So my mom be like, there's a sale, Rack V. So I don't know.
29:12 It's really online for me.
29:13 Online, OK.
29:14 Because I hate trying on clothes.
29:15 Oh, I love online.
29:16 Yeah.
29:17 I can't shop online, y'all.
29:19 I got to fit it.
29:21 I want my stuff to be--
29:22 Get a little tailored, you know?
29:23 I know, but then I got to wait for them to do that.
29:26 I got to call you--
29:26 You just take it to the drive-thru.
29:27 I know.
29:28 They do that, but then I got to look at you, do it,
29:29 and I'm ready to put it on now, and then I don't like it.
29:31 And it's just like, I'm such a like--
29:33 I'm hard.
29:34 She be in that robe.
29:35 She be in that robe.
29:36 I be in that robe.
29:37 In robe and bonnet.
29:39 OK, so question for you, Ms. Mamas.
29:44 Dating, your dating life.
29:46 What is dating like in 2023 and beyond?
29:50 Oh, dating, it's very ghetto.
29:54 It's very ghetto, you guys.
29:57 I'm a very private person.
29:59 I'm very-- I like a little mystique, you know?
30:02 I'm from the era of not living your life
30:05 like every two seconds on your story or social media.
30:08 I feel like that's like a Gen Z thing, kind of.
30:10 And I was in the era of like, people
30:13 keep things to themselves.
30:15 So I'm still learning how to let people
30:19 into my life, like my personal life,
30:22 while still keeping my personal life for me.
30:25 But it's very ghetto, yeah.
30:27 I don't like it.
30:28 I don't like it.
30:29 It's very treacherous.
30:31 It's not a vibe, really, for me.
30:33 Like, I like to be single.
30:36 I like to just be by myself, catch a little vibe.
30:39 Every now and then I--
30:40 That's the wrong one.
30:40 Yeah, turn into a no-no.
30:43 I just be up and down.
30:44 Like, I be like, I like you Monday.
30:46 And then that Tuesday hit, it's like, I really
30:48 said that to you on Monday?
30:50 Yes.
30:51 I do not recall, too.
30:53 Like, I be like, ooh, Lord.
30:54 And then again, in the industry, y'all already know me.
30:56 I'm just be like, uh, I get it.
30:58 But I don't know.
31:00 I'm a very private person, too.
31:02 Like, yeah, we'll be on social media.
31:03 I see what y'all see.
31:04 But behind closed door, I be like, uh, I don't know.
31:07 It's like, it's just the dudes, some of the dudes be too moody.
31:09 And I'm moody, too.
31:10 And I'm like, like I said, I like you on Sunday.
31:12 Then that Monday hit, now I play it like I got a flu now,
31:16 because I don't want to go out with you.
31:18 And I feel like everything is so--
31:21 it's like a big web.
31:23 Like, you put someone's name, and then it's like 10 people's
31:26 names that you can attach to them.
31:27 It's like, where do you find a clean slate?
31:31 Then some of the dudes don't know how to--
31:34 I got to have somebody that know how to pray.
31:36 Yes.
31:37 That part.
31:38 Let's get it.
31:39 Hey, you around me, if you don't know how to pray now,
31:41 I don't want to listen to Uzi all day.
31:43 [LAUGHS]
31:45 I don't want to do that.
31:46 Like, I love Uzi, but I don't want to do that all day.
31:49 Like, let me-- some substance.
31:51 I need to hear something.
31:52 Make love to my mind.
31:53 Because the draws you might get.
31:55 [LAUGHS]
31:56 You might get.
31:57 But if you just make love to my mind,
31:59 and hear me, and be still with me, and talk to me,
32:02 I don't want to hear about how many views I just
32:04 got on that "Peanut Mama" video.
32:05 I want to know about what's going on right now
32:07 in front of me.
32:08 Let's be present here.
32:09 Media, my phone is down.
32:11 So I don't know.
32:12 Right now in this season, like Bia said,
32:14 it's a little ghetto for me.
32:15 But I like people that can actually make you
32:18 a better version of yourself.
32:19 So if I'm getting to know somebody,
32:21 and I'm dating somebody, and there's
32:23 no contribution to me being--
32:25 and I don't mean financially.
32:26 It's more so like it's always a spiritual or mental thing.
32:32 Make me want to be a better version of me,
32:34 which I already feel like I do that anyways.
32:37 But at least inspire me.
32:38 Because if you can't inspire me--
32:40 like, if I don't see you going to the gym every day,
32:42 and I'm going to the gym four times a week,
32:44 then what can you do for me?
32:46 You have to be on the line.
32:47 You've got to make me be a better version of myself.
32:50 Or help me see a better--
32:52 make me go a little bit harder, but just by your actions.
32:55 Because that's what I would look for in a man right now.
32:57 And I think that's where the unsure comes.
32:59 I love that, though.
33:00 I think that's where the me being unsure comes.
33:03 Because if I don't see the person that's
33:04 trying to talk to me hit the gym-- and you know,
33:06 I love bosses, period.
33:08 You've got to be a boss.
33:09 You've got to really go crazy on what you love to do.
33:12 But for me, if I'm talking to somebody,
33:14 you really have to show up in that gym.
33:17 You've got to really go crazy in that gym.
33:20 Your lifestyle has to be what you preach about
33:22 and how you look.
33:24 If I'm over here working out and I see you on that couch,
33:27 that chicken is going to piss me off.
33:29 I'm going to work--
33:30 And that ice cream.
33:31 If I'm going to work, you know, going to the studio four
33:34 or five times a week, I'm doing shows,
33:36 and I'm barely sleeping three, four days in a row,
33:39 and you sitting on the couch playing video games,
33:40 it's not going to work.
33:41 Right, right.
33:42 You've got to get out of there.
33:44 Well, I'm not going to lie.
33:45 I'm glad I don't have to do it.
33:47 I don't have to date. I'm married.
33:48 I've been married for a long time.
33:50 Let's go.
33:51 Yeah.
33:52 I feel sorry for you guys that have to go out here.
33:54 No, for real, because it is crazy outside.
33:58 Yes.
34:00 I will say, though, like, I think it's interesting,
34:04 this whole idea of, like, launching your relationship,
34:08 like the soft launch.
34:10 Baby, I don't want you knowing nothing about nothing.
34:12 For what?
34:13 Why am I telling you anything?
34:14 Yeah.
34:15 The only time you're going to know that I'm with somebody
34:17 is when I'm sending you the link to my registry
34:20 for you to go ahead and support us any way that you can.
34:23 Yeah.
34:24 But it's not-- you know, a relationship
34:26 is between two people.
34:28 And once you do that, I feel like you invite other people,
34:31 eyes, opinions, into your sacred space.
34:36 And that's not, in my opinion, that's
34:39 not conducive to a healthy sort of exchange
34:44 between you and your person.
34:46 So I definitely don't agree.
34:48 I agree with, like, being private, keep it to yourself,
34:52 you know?
34:53 That's all things in my personal life, not just my relationship.
34:57 If it's not correlating to the music or something that has
35:00 something to do with my platform--
35:03 now, if me and my husband have, like, a couples thing,
35:06 you know, like a podcast or something like that,
35:09 if we were to ever do that, I understand.
35:11 But just, like, parading my relationship--
35:14 Yeah.
35:16 I don't understand it.
35:17 Like, let me show the--
35:18 I feel like I hate that about social media right now.
35:21 Yeah.
35:22 People-- I don't even know what's genuine anymore,
35:26 what's just, like, for social media, you know?
35:29 Right.
35:29 I think that's the shift, like, a little bit of the shift
35:33 that you were talking about earlier.
35:34 Yeah.
35:35 I think a lot of us are getting sort of fatigued--
35:38 Yeah.
35:39 --by the information.
35:40 Like, we just know everybody's business--
35:42 Yes.
35:43 --all the time.
35:44 Oh, my god.
35:45 And there's some people who are just like,
35:47 tag me out the group chat.
35:49 Yes.
35:50 I don't want to know.
35:51 Yeah.
35:52 And I definitely feel like, you know,
35:54 we're moving into a period of, like,
35:56 authenticity, pureness, clean, spirit, clean,
36:02 just like a purity of intention, right?
36:06 And I think we're beginning to be able to see through
36:08 and discern when we're being, like, sold,
36:12 when somebody is trying to push products on you,
36:17 when people don't know who they are for real.
36:19 You can tell.
36:21 And I think we just are looking for leadership and people
36:25 who are, like, sure about who they are and where they're
36:28 going, because that's what we want to, like, follow,
36:32 for lack of a better word.
36:35 Those are the people that we want to follow in their footsteps,
36:37 right?
36:38 We don't want to follow someone who's unsure.
36:40 We don't want to, you know, stand behind or put energy
36:44 and focus into people, things, ideas that aren't
36:51 for the good of humanity, for the good of the world.
36:54 I mean, we see how people are boycotting, you know,
36:57 left and right.
36:57 Oh, you don't want to serve, you know, people who look like me?
37:00 Cool, we're not going there.
37:02 You know what I'm saying?
37:02 And it's just like, we're understanding
37:04 that there is power in authenticity and power in us,
37:09 like, collectively deciding that we want more, you know?
37:13 We don't just want to keep consuming mindlessly.
37:17 Because I think that's just because we do it so much.
37:19 Like, why only us?
37:20 Why is that?
37:21 Why do they want just us to consume mindlessly?
37:24 Like, just-- it's almost like social media sometimes
37:28 and society uses the people that we relate to to get to us
37:34 in a way where it's like, take us back.
37:36 You know what I'm saying?
37:36 It's a distraction.
37:37 It's a distraction from, like, all the growth and everything
37:40 that we've been just--
37:44 I mean, especially being on this side of it,
37:45 I see, like, a lot of times--
37:47 like, for example, I went to one music fest
37:51 and I saw the Lil' Kim moment when she took that--
37:55 she had, like, this leather harness that kept slipping down.
37:58 Yeah.
37:59 And she just was like, you know what?
38:00 I'm going to just take it off.
38:01 Well, I saw the headlines.
38:02 It was like, Lil' Kim takes off her panties.
38:04 I'm just like, that is not what happened.
38:06 That is not what happened.
38:07 So it's like, I'm just realizing more and more, even.
38:10 And I'm sure a lot of us are, that what
38:12 we're seeing in these blogs, these headlines, on the news,
38:15 it's not--
38:17 it's not real.
38:18 It's not accurate.
38:19 And so I think, like, we're becoming more--
38:22 we're taking ownership over our focus and our attention.
38:26 Because after a while, it just becomes, like, hours of this.
38:30 And it's like, how much time have you put into your business
38:33 that day?
38:33 How much time have you put into, like, your meditation
38:36 and your prayer, your self-care?
38:38 How much time have you spent talking
38:40 with your friends and family?
38:42 How much time have you spent planning your future?
38:45 And you're just wasting time doing that.
38:47 You know, we love social media.
38:48 I know I'll be on TikTok for hours and hours.
38:52 But I always, like, try to make sure I've
38:56 gotten everything done that I need to do for that day
39:00 before I start just kind of, like, mindlessly consuming.
39:05 Yeah.
39:05 My headlines be real, though.
39:07 You know, that breakup happened.
39:09 That breakup happened.
39:10 So what about this, like, he's just not into you.
39:13 Have you guys experienced that?
39:14 Like, when someone just says, like, baby, it's not it.
39:16 And he ain't into you either.
39:17 We think we be the ones that be like, oh, I'm into him.
39:19 But he may not be into you.
39:20 Have you guys experienced that?
39:21 I feel like we can only see that when it's with other people.
39:23 Yeah.
39:24 Right?
39:24 Like, I know I could see it for my girl.
39:26 But I can't necessarily--
39:27 or, you know, before, I'm not dating anymore.
39:29 And like I said, I've been locked in.
39:31 Yeah.
39:32 But when I was, you know, out there, I couldn't see him.
39:36 I'm like, oh, but I love him.
39:39 You know what I'm saying?
39:40 Like, one of my favorite Kiki Palmer clips is she was like,
39:44 but I love him.
39:45 Because we do that, right?
39:46 Yeah.
39:47 But I just feel like, you know, I think
39:48 we were talking over in the corner just about,
39:50 you know when it's not right.
39:52 You know when it's not right.
39:54 But you just be overlooking, you know, bypassing the red flags.
39:57 But he cute.
39:58 But he got money.
39:59 Mm-mm, girl.
40:00 You know.
40:01 Follow your heart.
40:01 It's like, what are the signs, though?
40:03 We need to normalize, like, not falling
40:07 in love with the idea of what we think someone could be
40:10 or what they could grow into.
40:12 And more so just accept them for who they are--
40:15 Jesus.
40:16 --at that moment.
40:17 And know, like, there's no telling what that person is
40:20 going to be like tomorrow, two years, three years,
40:22 five years from now.
40:23 So the only thing that you can do
40:24 is accept them and use your discernment.
40:27 I'm learning to just accept people for what they are
40:30 as they come in, you know, and use my best discernment.
40:33 Because not everybody has that relationship with God.
40:36 When I see my discernment ringing off,
40:38 I know that that's God.
40:40 Like, I know that it's like, not everybody has this--
40:42 [LAUGHTER]
40:44 Not-- you know, you see people, like, they'll--
40:46 it's like they'll look like a hamster in a wheel
40:48 because they have no discernment.
40:50 Yeah.
40:50 And it's like, when you're really close to God
40:53 and you have that protect--
40:55 you're protected--
40:56 Yeah.
40:56 --you just feel it right away.
40:57 Like--
40:58 I think it's also knowing what you want, right?
41:01 I saw this quote last night that was like,
41:04 don't be so thirsty that you drink from any cup.
41:06 Ooh.
41:07 And it's like, you know--
41:09 [LAUGHTER]
41:11 No, for sure.
41:12 I love it.
41:12 But literally, like, you walk in a room and you're like,
41:15 is there guys in here?
41:15 Oh my god.
41:16 Somebody like me?
41:17 Yo, I'm pretty-- look, you know, I'm bad tonight.
41:20 And it's just like, OK, if somebody walks up to you
41:23 and gives you a compliment, thank you.
41:25 That's it.
41:26 It doesn't have to go--
41:27 you know what I'm saying?
41:28 And I feel like we don't be thinking like that.
41:31 And also, too, it's like, you don't know what you want.
41:33 So any person that walks by or offers you
41:38 any kind of attention, you're like, hey, oh my god.
41:42 Let's go on a date.
41:43 After the first date, I love him.
41:45 He's the one that's like, nah.
41:46 You know what I'm saying?
41:47 Like, focus on you.
41:48 Yeah.
41:49 Get yourself together.
41:50 You're supposed to fall in love with yourself.
41:52 And then they fall in love with you loving yourself.
41:55 Yes.
41:55 You know what I'm saying?
41:56 I wish I had learned that earlier, like younger.
42:00 Because we tend to--
42:01 I used to just dive in and give you everything.
42:05 And do you need anything?
42:06 Are you hungry?
42:07 Let me cook you a five-course meal.
42:08 It's like, no, ma'am.
42:09 No.
42:10 Yeah.
42:11 You know what I'm saying?
42:12 And I think it's so hard, especially for me,
42:14 because I guess I have dated.
42:16 And I've went on dates.
42:18 And I did the whole little whoop-whoop, shabang-bang,
42:20 tee-tee.
42:21 But I think so it's so hard when you are such a PK.
42:25 And my mother is a pastor, and she sees beyond what I see.
42:28 And then she be like, uh-uh.
42:30 My discernment kicking in.
42:31 And I don't think that's the one.
42:33 And then I may like him.
42:34 And I'm like, mom--
42:35 Yes, I'm like, mom, I like him, though.
42:37 And I'm me.
42:37 I'm so-and-so year old.
42:39 Like, let me do me.
42:40 She's like, Vena, I'm telling you, that ain't the one.
42:42 You keep forcing it.
42:44 So I think it's so hard when--
42:46 and I think, too, we have our own relationship with God.
42:49 So you got to pray.
42:50 And it's got to show you--
42:52 show me what my mama see.
42:53 Because I just see somebody fine.
42:56 And he treat me good.
42:58 He's respectable.
42:59 He hustles.
42:59 He does his thing.
43:00 And he loves God.
43:02 But my mom is like, I'm seeing something.
43:04 And I'm telling you, that ain't the one.
43:05 And I do listen.
43:06 Like, everybody know me.
43:07 My friends, my team know.
43:08 One thing about Miss Yolanda--
43:10 Yolanda Champagne, I love my mama down.
43:12 So anything she says to me, I take heed.
43:15 And I'm like, all right, mom.
43:16 I dump him.
43:17 Like Kwame say, he don't like me no more anyway.
43:18 So because of you.
43:19 But I think it's like I got to listen to her.
43:22 But it's so hard.
43:23 Because when you do like someone and you want to try it,
43:26 it's all-- and my mom's like my best friend.
43:28 So she's like, baby, I'm telling you, I don't like him.
43:30 And I'm like, mom, why?
43:31 His shoes too big.
43:32 Your kids are too big.
43:33 Like, you know, and I'm like, OK.
43:34 So I think it's hard.
43:35 But I always go with my gut.
43:37 And if my discernment is, like you said, off,
43:40 then it's like, OK, I can't see.
43:41 Because right now, we're in a position
43:43 where we have to have someone beside us that's
43:45 going to hold us up.
43:47 Because in this industry can cause the anxiety,
43:49 the depression, the worriness.
43:52 One day you up, one day you down,
43:53 one day you in between, whatever it is,
43:55 whatever emotion you have.
43:56 So you do need somebody that's going to be beside you
43:58 to lead the way and help you instead of going off of looks
44:01 and what emotion to have.
44:02 Because they emotion may die down.
44:03 And now it's up to you to keep carrying them.
44:05 So I think my mom looks at that.
44:07 Like, I don't want you to get into that space.
44:09 You need to ask God to whoever is for you going to come.
44:12 And y'all going to build, which I need to build then.
44:15 So right now, I'm just in a space of like,
44:17 if you meant for me, you're going to be here
44:19 for the long run, longevity.
44:21 Yeah.
44:22 I always know what's good, relationships and friendships,
44:25 by how close or farther away they take me from God.
44:28 So that's with anything.
44:31 That's a friendship.
44:32 I cannot even have a friendship without--
44:34 if God's not in my friendship.
44:36 Come on.
44:37 I pray with my friends every day.
44:38 Every day.
44:40 I cover them.
44:41 I hope they are protected.
44:43 I pray that they're protected.
44:45 We love each other.
44:46 So it's like, if I don't feel that in my friends,
44:49 in my relationships, in my business affairs,
44:52 it's not going to work.
44:53 It's not going to work.
44:53 I done turned gigs down because of that.
44:55 Yeah.
44:55 I don't want to do that.
44:56 Because I already see where it's going,
44:58 and I don't see God in that.
45:00 And then you know I done sent devotions to you.
45:02 Yeah, I don't play about them devotions now.
45:04 We going to send that.
45:05 You know, you going to read that.
45:07 You know, so I don't play.
45:08 On a day I really needed it, too.
45:09 Like, you know you got those friends that they send you
45:12 a prayer on a day that you're like, wow, I really--
45:13 The Lord knew what I needed.
45:14 Look, hello.
45:15 I love that.
45:16 So you guys, we are like wrapped up.
45:19 Like, we are--
45:20 No, I want to keep talking.
45:22 But before that, before we go, we
45:23 questioning, we got some Q&As that's going to come up.
45:26 And that's going to ask us--
45:28 Oh, yes, the mic over here.
45:29 --the mic right here to the right.
45:32 Don't be shy.
45:32 Hey, girl.
45:33 Hey, girl.
45:34 What's your name?
45:35 My name is Karis Nelson.
45:37 Hi, Karis.
45:38 Love y'all.
45:39 So my question is going to be, you guys kind of
45:42 spoke on it briefly.
45:42 And I can-- from this panel, I can tell that y'all
45:44 are some God-fearing women.
45:46 So what are some things that you do,
45:47 or what are some essentials that you
45:49 would say that kind of keeps y'all grounded in an industry
45:51 where it's so easy to lose yourself?
45:55 That's a great question.
45:56 I'm definitely renewing my mind every single day.
46:01 I'm listening to audio books and podcasts and just teachings,
46:09 different teachings, to remind myself who I am,
46:14 where I come from, where my help comes from,
46:18 and just understanding--
46:20 I don't know if you've ever heard of having an internal locus
46:24 of control, meaning I am the master of my destiny
46:29 and not things are always happening to me.
46:32 I feel like that's where you kind of start losing yourself
46:35 when you feel like you don't have any say in your journey.
46:41 So I mean, for me, it's always just
46:42 consuming more and more positive things.
46:47 I think, like I said in the beginning of this conversation,
46:52 that it's just a shift been happening.
46:54 So like Sis said, every day we should be renewing our minds.
46:58 Because like I told my team, the same prayer we used to get here,
47:02 it ain't the same prayer today.
47:04 You have to change your language up just a little bit more.
47:07 Because 2018 can't be what 2023 is doing for you.
47:11 You have to ask God for some different things in your life.
47:14 So I think for me, I got to switch my focus now
47:17 and really ask God, where is it that you want
47:19 me to be for the next season?
47:21 And like she said, reading books,
47:23 getting a new devotional book, working out,
47:26 hanging out with my friends, people
47:28 that's going to feed off of me and I feed off
47:31 of them in the creative space.
47:34 For me, I feel like I just try to move with as much intention
47:39 as possible behind everything.
47:40 So whether that's like anything that I'm doing,
47:44 it's intentional.
47:45 I have to know like--
47:46 I'm coming from a positive, good, pure place.
47:51 And that's the only way that I stay grounded.
47:54 Like really just that and God.
47:55 I pray a lot.
47:56 I pray so much, for sure.
47:59 Hi.
47:59 Hey, ladies.
48:00 My name is Simone Gathers.
48:02 My question is pertaining to once you've
48:05 reached these new heights of success
48:07 and you've discovered that you have a calling on your life
48:11 and in the particular career path,
48:13 how do you deal with and navigate
48:16 different jealousy energies or energies of animosity
48:20 towards you and the new heights that you've reached?
48:24 Because I feel like personally, sometimes I
48:26 get caught up in those jealousy energies and animosity energies
48:30 and I go back and I kind of second doubt myself
48:33 or second guess myself.
48:35 So how do you deal with that?
48:36 Discernment.
48:37 You got to have that discernment on.
48:39 You got to know who's for you and who's that, right?
48:42 And that discernment got to be activated every time.
48:45 My team told me today, you got to stay strong
48:48 because you're the one who feels and feel people.
48:50 And some people, when it's time to call on folks,
48:52 they're not around.
48:53 And I think too, when you're in this industry,
48:55 you need to know who's who.
48:56 You need to know who's jealous of you.
48:59 You know who's hating on you.
49:00 You need to know what the business is, who's not--
49:02 you know, all of that.
49:03 But it goes by your internal and your discernment.
49:05 That spirit inside of you that's telling you that ain't it.
49:09 Or they're not for you.
49:10 So you have that discernment got to be activated at all times.
49:14 I don't care what room you in.
49:15 McDonald's.
49:16 I don't care what room you in.
49:17 You at Lenox Mall, baby.
49:18 I don't know who going to shave me today,
49:20 but I feel it and my discernment got to be on.
49:22 I agree, too.
49:24 And I think it's important to know.
49:25 But also, for me--
49:28 and I totally feel where you're coming from because I used
49:30 to think that that mattered.
49:32 But now it's like that doesn't contribute to my goal.
49:37 It doesn't get me across the finish line.
49:39 So it doesn't matter.
49:41 And I used to be like, well, I wanted to understand,
49:45 like, well, why are you mad at me?
49:47 Why does she-- why is he--
49:49 it doesn't actually-- it has nothing to do with you.
49:54 It's a reflection of who that person is.
49:57 And so now it's like, oh, you know,
50:00 you're not quite there yet.
50:03 You're underdeveloped.
50:04 And I don't mean that in a shady way.
50:08 It's just sort of like almost like a beacon.
50:11 Like, OK, that's a person who is not in alignment with me
50:15 and my highest purpose.
50:16 So thank you for identifying that
50:18 and helping me identify that.
50:19 And I wish you the best and move on.
50:23 Because I think maybe you might still be trying to have
50:25 an attachment to that person.
50:28 Like see the good in them, basically.
50:29 I mean, that's not--
50:31 unless you are a therapist, that's not your job.
50:33 Your job is to be great, shine your light.
50:36 You know what I'm saying?
50:37 And that's what you should focus on.
50:39 Thank you, ladies.
50:40 You're welcome.
50:40 Don't wear all them book bags now.
50:43 All that energy on them book bags.
50:45 Hi.
50:46 I love those pants.
50:47 They're so cute.
50:48 Thank you.
50:48 Appreciate you.
50:49 My name is Nya.
50:51 And yes, as it sounds like, you guys
50:54 are very God-fearing women, which is beautiful.
50:58 And I feel like there's nothing more disruptive than when God
51:02 is telling you to do something.
51:04 Because I feel like when God tells you to do something,
51:07 it's in the most uncomfortable situation sometimes.
51:13 And so I just wanted to know if you guys had
51:16 any very personal experiences where God was specifically
51:20 telling you to do something.
51:21 And you're like, I just don't know, Lord.
51:25 I don't know if that's--
51:26 is it you?
51:27 Or is it maybe I should step away?
51:29 I don't know.
51:30 But do you have any personal experiences
51:32 that come to your mind?
51:33 It's like, God is telling me to do this thing.
51:35 But I don't know if I really should.
51:38 I have an experience like that I would love to share.
51:41 Right when I first moved to Miami,
51:44 right when I signed my first record deal,
51:46 I had just met Pharrell at the time.
51:48 And I was working in a mall.
51:50 I hadn't really cracked off with the music yet.
51:53 And I went to church.
51:54 Somebody at my job was like, let me bring you to church.
51:57 Every week, they're like, let me bring you to church.
51:59 Let me bring you to church.
52:00 I feel like you need it.
52:01 And I wasn't super spiritual at this time.
52:03 I did not pray daily.
52:04 I was not tapped into my higher spirituality or God at all.
52:10 And they brought me to church.
52:12 And the message that first time I went to church
52:14 was it was about having a God dream.
52:17 And they were like, if you are trying
52:19 to do what you want to do for man-made things,
52:22 like money, jewelry, popularity, you're
52:27 never going to be successful.
52:28 You're fueled by all the wrong things.
52:30 You have to serve your God dream.
52:33 And until that day, I never knew what my purpose,
52:35 what my calling, what my God dream was.
52:37 I felt like that sermon was for me.
52:38 I felt like I left crying that day.
52:40 And I was like, I'm not doing this for the right reasons.
52:43 Like, what is my higher--
52:45 what is my message?
52:47 Why am I not moving intentionally
52:50 with what I'm speaking and the energy that I'm putting out
52:52 into the world, what I want people to feel when
52:54 they listen to me?
52:57 Yeah, I felt like I had to share that with y'all.
52:59 Yeah, I have that experience all the time,
53:02 where I'm getting little God whispers, I call them.
53:05 And one thing I will say is, and I tell my team this
53:09 all the time, is I knew better than that.
53:11 I knew better than that.
53:13 And I should have listened to my gut.
53:14 I should have listened to my heart.
53:16 Because whenever I go with my gut
53:18 is when God puts you in--
53:21 I'll speak on me.
53:22 God has put me in positions to where I'm like,
53:25 why is nobody here?
53:27 What's going on?
53:28 Why am I by myself?
53:29 But then I get this amazing moment.
53:32 It's almost like a miracle happens.
53:34 And the only person who can get the glory is God.
53:39 And I love that.
53:40 I love that.
53:41 Because it's just like, a person, people, humans,
53:46 we love to try to say, well, you wouldn't
53:48 have this if it wasn't for me.
53:50 I put you in this position.
53:52 And what I love about being out there in the wilderness
53:55 is that I know it out of the shadow of a doubt.
53:58 I heard God's voice.
54:00 I followed the instruction, walked on faith,
54:03 because I didn't know what I was doing.
54:05 And then I got the win.
54:07 It's all glory goes to God.
54:10 And once you do that one time, you'll
54:12 get comfortable doing it again.
54:13 You get comfortable doing it again.
54:15 And then you'll get to the place where
54:17 if it ain't lining up with what God told you,
54:19 you ain't even trying to hear that.
54:20 You know what I'm saying?
54:21 It's weird.
54:23 But that's just because you haven't exercised it enough.
54:26 That's it.
54:26 You just have to keep--
54:27 you know what I'm saying?
54:28 Do it the first time.
54:29 Do it the second time.
54:30 And then it'll gradually get easier.
54:33 And you'll get more and more responsibility.
54:36 So just one step at a time.
54:38 Girl, we got to tell God yes about 10 times each day.
54:41 Each day.
54:42 And change is really good.
54:43 I was so scared.
54:44 This is when I, last year, or two years ago, I think,
54:46 2021, I was transitioning from someone
54:49 that was helping me in my business.
54:50 And it was so hard to do.
54:52 But that's when my faith had to be activated.
54:55 And from that on, like Sis said, I give all the glory to God.
54:59 Because from 2020-- actually, from 2017,
55:02 since I started on social media, I've been busy since.
55:06 But when that season comes where you have to shift,
55:09 you have to pivot, and you have to make those decisions,
55:12 you just got to say, God, I need you to intervene.
55:15 I need you to--
55:16 I need to cast my cares onto you,
55:17 because I can't do this by myself.
55:19 I can't lean on my own understanding no more.
55:21 I got to give it to you.
55:22 And once you do that, and you tell God yes,
55:26 and he starts shifting the atmosphere for you,
55:27 you have to be ready.
55:29 Because even with friendships, too,
55:30 it'd be so hard to leave people.
55:32 And God be shifting some things.
55:34 And you'd be like, well, God, I know when I prayed,
55:37 I said to get away from Christina.
55:38 And now I'm sad, because Christina gone,
55:40 and I need Christina.
55:42 But you done already told God you want Christina
55:43 to go out your life.
55:44 You know, you've been complaining about Christina.
55:46 Now you miss Christina.
55:47 Which one is it?
55:48 And that's called a double mind.
55:52 That's called a double-minded person.
55:53 And he's unstable in all things.
55:56 And let me tell you, I was listening
55:58 to that sermon last night, because I
55:59 could be that, too, in business.
56:01 Like, OK, I said yes to this thing.
56:03 Now I told so-and-so I don't want to do it.
56:05 And it's like, girl, what's the issue?
56:07 So you have to really--
56:08 you got to really figure that out.
56:10 And vice versa, too.
56:12 You'll say, I want to be healthy,
56:14 but then you go drinking every night.
56:16 Or you say, I want to be respected,
56:19 but then you take any little thing somebody give you.
56:21 You know what I'm saying?
56:22 Or I want to be-- for me, one of my struggles,
56:25 I want to be an artist, but then I'm still writing songs.
56:28 Every time somebody call me, we got a camp going on in Jamaica,
56:31 I'm like, ooh.
56:33 Ooh, I want to go.
56:34 But you know what I'm saying?
56:35 So it's like, don't be double-minded.
56:37 And also, when you do get it, when you do get that success,
56:41 let's not turn our focus towards people and all of those people
56:45 that, oh my god, you so amazing.
56:47 You so great.
56:48 You the best.
56:48 You so funny.
56:50 You so fly.
56:51 Let's keep our focus here.
56:53 You know what I'm saying?
56:56 Because it's hard not to get distracted,
56:58 I will tell you that.
56:59 It's literally like, have you ever been to church late?
57:02 And you walk in, and everybody do this?
57:06 That's exactly what it feels like when you go from just
57:09 focus and keep your head down, from obscurity to everybody
57:14 knowing who you are.
57:15 And then now add cameras, flashing lights,
57:19 and then add a bunch of voices in your ear.
57:22 And it could be so distracting.
57:24 So you have to just keep your focus.
57:27 Keep your focus there.
57:28 OK, appreciate y'all.
57:29 Wonderful question.
57:30 Good luck.
57:31 God bless you.
57:31 Yes, God bless you.
57:33 This has been great, ladies.
57:35 Yes, I love how much we just talked about our faith.
57:37 Yes.
57:38 Awesome.
57:39 I love it.
57:40 This was such a great conversation.
57:42 I hope you guys took heed to what we talked
57:45 about in our conversation.
57:46 And I hope you guys leave with some of these gems and jewels
57:51 from my girl, Bia, Money Long, and myself.
57:53 And thank y'all so much.
57:55 This is, if not for my girl, season five,
57:58 presented by Coke Zero Sugar.
58:00 And thank y'all so much, ladies.
58:02 Thank you so much.
58:03 Can't wait to see what y'all do, how y'all disrupt.
58:06 Yes, right.
58:07 How y'all disrupt.
58:08 Yes, ladies.
58:09 And remember, a delay is never denial, honey.
58:12 Just keep on going.
58:13 Keep pushing.
58:14 It's not for my girl!
58:17 (audience cheering)