Dean McDermott Didn't Want to Live Ahead of Breakup with Tori Spelling _ E! News

Transcript

00:00 Dean McDermott says he's inflicted a lot of damage and pain on ex-Tori Spelling,

00:05 and says he, quote, "didn't want to live ahead of their split."

00:08 Five months after the Chopped Canada alum appeared to confirm in a since-deleted Instagram post

00:14 that he and the Beverly Hills 90210 alum had broken up after 17 years of marriage,

00:19 Dean details the breakdown of their union in an interview with the Daily Mail, published November

00:24 15th. He tells the outlet, "I'm taking accountability for that today, and it's

00:29 the biggest amend that I'm ever going to have to make." And part of that is looking back on

00:33 his own struggles, including with alcohol addiction, which led him to seek treatment

00:38 earlier this summer. Dean explains, "Alcohol made me feel good enough. I started feeling

00:43 good enough until it got to a point where it didn't. It ended up in isolation." He adds,

00:48 "It ended up with me drinking a fifth of tequila every night, seven days a week,

00:53 and a handful of narcos, or prescription meds, by myself with a beautiful family in the other room.

00:59 That's what it led to, and that's what led to the brokenness and to what happened between me and

01:03 Tori." Dean goes on to say the two had dealt with financial problems and says he and Tori started

01:09 sleeping in separate bedrooms in 2017. The distance was also exacerbated by Tori's pets,

01:15 including a pig and a chicken, who Dean says slept in the bedroom with them. Dean tells the outlet,

01:21 "I created a healthy boundary for myself and I said, 'I can't do this. I can't live and sleep

01:26 in this kind of condition,'" and says, "Things just progressed from there. There were no efforts

01:31 to sort of remedy the problem to get back into the room." Dean admits the void between him and

01:36 his family, plus his struggles with addiction, pushed him to the edge. "I've never been so lonely

01:41 in the same house with six other people, never been so lonely in my life. I didn't know how to

01:47 get out of the situation I was in. I was hurting. I was heartbroken. I was depressed. I hated myself.

01:53 I didn't want to live." McDermott says he is currently living in a sober living home with

01:58 eight other recovering alcoholics and reveals he and Tori haven't seen one another since she moved

02:03 out of the family home amid a mold scare, but they have started communicating through text.

02:08 Dean tells the outlet of his ex, with whom he shares five children, "All Tori's ever done to

02:13 this day is want me to be happy and healthy, and I inflicted a lot of damage and pain on that woman.

02:19 I've been so hard and brutal on her that I just want her to be loved and happy. She deserves it."

02:24 E! News has reached out to Tori's rep for comment on Dean's interview and has not heard back.

02:30 "Hi everyone!"