My fairy godmother got into a bar fight With my guardian angel over the unusual Noise coming from their mouth The room was a little too small For the two of them and I had to separate them in the booking The manager came in and was screaming At all the employees that this was a trap house And everyone needed to start respecting it Or get the hell out The back windshield of my house Was totaled and so I went to lodge a complaint
There was no king at the time And people just did what they pleased
The place was empty save for a gang of felines That held up pocket knives in my general directions But I was not too concerned After all I had brought in my bodyguard from college Who had gotten a scholarship from the alcoholic Coffee brewer who was poisoned by a selection Of organic raisins given to him by a mixed up demonstrator Who had decided that he no longer needed his arms And legs and honestly at this point who could blame him
There was no king at the time And people just did what they pleased
The shake mixer is designing the most complicated drink In the county and has a list of ingredients That he’s imprinted on an Egyptian scroll Used by Ramses in order to keep up with His food supply when everyone was honking At the border and tattering their own clothes For some reason that I didn’t quite understand But I didn’t know how to decipher the hieroglyphics And haven’t read a newspaper in years honestly
There was no king at the time And people just did what they pleased
So I got questioned and had to show That I recognized all the city skylines But the problem was that I had mined my brain out In an attempt to raise money for the poor boys Down the street always on their music players And really the reward system was a little backwards As the greedy rats were raking in millions For being in a developing country that had misplaced their cabinets
There was no king at the time And people just did what they pleased
The couple had a monster from space Invade their house and they were so Tired of arguing with each other The husband unhinged the jaws of The alien and as its slime dripped from it The husband drug her and himself inside And closed the mouth, unconcerned As to what would happen next or that Their sequel would be a cheap knockoff With the guy who will be in anything Playing the futuristic android version of himself
There was no king at the time And people just did what they pleased
I fell asleep listening to the record and When I awoke it was over I had to piece together what it had said And what place in my life it was supposed to have I searched for it and scrambled through My collection until the governor came in And kicked my door a few times Trying to educate me on the laws Of physics that he’d passed during His lame duck term and now His successor is stuck with it But oh well
There was no king at the time And people just did what they pleased
