Lesson 2 - The Inferiority Gap
- 2 years ago
The vast majority of behaviors most of us do when pursuing someone we’re interested are what I
characterize as “performance” behaviors.
The implication of performance-based behaviors is that you are not good enough as you are.
Any time you feel it necessary to perform to impress someone, you are implying a sense of
inferiority.
Women are wired to pursue men of status. They perceive status based upon behavior and social
indicators. Performance-based behavior completely undermines a man’s perceived status, thus
making him unattractive.
Some men become too intimidated by feelings of inferiority and surrender themselves to women.
These men are codependents (aka “Nice Guys.”)
Other men decide to over-compensate and treat women as if they’re inferior. These men are
narcissists.
Why does the inferiority gap exist?
- Pop culture, romanticism, gender roles, etc.
- Personal experiences and traumas
Inferiority is often situational as well. Some men feel fine speaking with women, but horrible about
becoming sexual with them. Some feel fine being sexual but are scared to death to speak to them.
EXERCISE
Write about the ways in which you perform or try to impress women. Write about how this causes
you anxiety. Write about what beliefs or experiences have led to you feeling inferior in certain
situations.
characterize as “performance” behaviors.
The implication of performance-based behaviors is that you are not good enough as you are.
Any time you feel it necessary to perform to impress someone, you are implying a sense of
inferiority.
Women are wired to pursue men of status. They perceive status based upon behavior and social
indicators. Performance-based behavior completely undermines a man’s perceived status, thus
making him unattractive.
Some men become too intimidated by feelings of inferiority and surrender themselves to women.
These men are codependents (aka “Nice Guys.”)
Other men decide to over-compensate and treat women as if they’re inferior. These men are
narcissists.
Why does the inferiority gap exist?
- Pop culture, romanticism, gender roles, etc.
- Personal experiences and traumas
Inferiority is often situational as well. Some men feel fine speaking with women, but horrible about
becoming sexual with them. Some feel fine being sexual but are scared to death to speak to them.
EXERCISE
Write about the ways in which you perform or try to impress women. Write about how this causes
you anxiety. Write about what beliefs or experiences have led to you feeling inferior in certain
situations.