Not Rated | 30min | Comedy,TV Series | Episode aired 17 April 1955
To meet his sponsor in New York, Jack and Rochester pack their bags and a parrot and head to the train station. Their taxi driver is a blubbering wreck who hates to see people leaving.At the station they encounter friends like Don and Mr. Kitzel, and pests like Frank Nelson.
Writers: George Balzer, Hal Goldman, Al Gordon, Sam Perrin
Stars: Jack Benny, Eddie 'Rochester' Anderson, Don Wilson
To meet his sponsor in New York, Jack and Rochester pack their bags and a parrot and head to the train station. Their taxi driver is a blubbering wreck who hates to see people leaving.At the station they encounter friends like Don and Mr. Kitzel, and pests like Frank Nelson.
Writers: George Balzer, Hal Goldman, Al Gordon, Sam Perrin
Stars: Jack Benny, Eddie 'Rochester' Anderson, Don Wilson
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00From television city in Hollywood, the Jack Benny program presented by Lucky Strike.
00:21Light up Lucky, it's light up time.
00:24Be happy, go Lucky, it's light up time.
00:28For the taste that you like, light up the Lucky Strike.
00:32Relax, it's light up time.
00:39There's a time and a place for everything.
00:42And the right time for a Lucky is any time you want to enjoy a great cigarette.
00:47And the right place for a Lucky is wherever you happen to be at the time.
00:51You'll always enjoy Luckies because Luckies taste better.
00:55Lucky Strike is made of fine, naturally good tasting tobacco.
00:59And it's toasted to taste better.
01:01Cleaner, fresher, smoother.
01:04Yes sir, Luckies taste better.
01:07Any time, anywhere.
01:09So right now, light up a Lucky.
01:12It's light up time.
01:13Enjoy the best tasting cigarette you ever smoked.
01:17Ladies and gentlemen, tonight Jack Benny leaves for New York City.
01:27As a matter of fact, right now Jack and Rochester are in a taxi cab on their way to the Union Station.
01:43Well Rochester, it won't be long now.
01:46We'll soon be on the train on our way to New York.
01:49By the way boss, you didn't tell me.
01:51Why are we making this trip?
01:53Well, for the same reason I went last year.
01:55You see, my option is coming up and I'm a little nervous.
01:57Well, you needn't be boss.
01:59Your sponsor's office is on Madison Avenue opposite CBS, isn't it?
02:03What difference does that make?
02:05If he doesn't pick up your option, you can run across the street and get on Strike It Rich.
02:11What?
02:12I'll rush into a phone booth and get the hotline going.
02:17Rochester, I hope you won't have to do that.
02:20Driver, can you make it a little bit faster please?
02:23We have a train to catch.
02:25I know.
02:28I know.
02:33What's the matter with him?
02:36Say boss, when we get to New York, are we going to stay at a nice hotel or that Acme Plaza again?
02:42Well, I'm going to stay at the Acme Plaza. I like it there.
02:45Well, I kind of thought you would.
02:47So I packed your bathrobe, your slippers and a flashlight.
02:51Rochester, it's inside now.
02:57I'm glad.
02:58Why don't you stay at the place where we had to pack a bicycle?
03:02All right, all right.
03:04Hey, we're near the station.
03:07There's a Union Station just a block up ahead.
03:09Now, that's why I like it better taking a taxi instead of our own, you know, car.
03:15Okay, folks, you can get out here.
03:20Wait a minute. Get out here?
03:22We're a block away. Why don't you take us to the station?
03:25I never take anybody to the station.
03:29Why?
03:30I can't stand goodbyes.
03:36What?
03:37I can't bear to see people go away.
03:40That's why I hate to take people to the railroad station.
03:43I hate it. I hate it.
03:50Cry on your own time. The meter is running.
03:55And don't be silly. Now take us to the station.
03:58Okay. Okay.
04:07Train leaving on track five for Anaheim, Azusa, and Cucamonga.
04:32Rochester, where's the taxi driver? I told him to bring the bags in.
04:36Oh.
04:37I'll find out where.
04:40Oh, here he comes.
04:50Driver, driver, how much is the fare?
04:53That'll be...
04:56Stop crying, will you?
04:58I can't help it. I told you I hate to take people to the station.
05:02I didn't want to come to the station.
05:04But you made me. You made me. You made me.
05:09I'm sorry I upset you. Here. Here, keep the change.
05:16Why do people have to go away?
05:28So emotional.
05:30Rochester, here, I'll take Polly, and you take the bags. I've got to find Don Wilson.
05:34Oh, yes, sir.
05:35You take the bags, and I'll see if I can find him.
05:53Liz, could you help me, please?
05:55Direction, please. The train scheduled to stop at Anaheim, Azusa, and Cucamonga
06:02will only go to Anaheim and Azusa.
06:06Cucamonga was moved to make room for the freeway.
06:13Oh, Jack, Jack.
06:14Oh, Don, I was looking all over for you.
06:17I was over talking to the station master. I wasn't satisfied with the accommodations on the train,
06:21but it's all straightened out now.
06:22It is?
06:23They're hooking on an extra diner.
06:25Oh, well, for you, they could hook on another engine, too.
06:29Believe me.
06:30Hey, Jack, why are you taking that silly parrot to New York?
06:33Because the last time I left her alone, she got so upset, she picked out all her feathers, plucked them right out.
06:39Oh, you're kidding.
06:40No, I still have the pillow.
06:44Jack, I want to check the bag and send a wire. I'll see you later.
06:46All right. I just want to get some magazines over here.
06:50Hiya, bud.
06:53Hiya.
06:59Long time no see.
07:01Yeah, yeah.
07:06I always run into that racetrack tough.
07:12May I help you, sir?
07:13No, I'm just looking around. I want to find something to read.
07:16Attention, please. Attention.
07:19The train arriving from Reno, Nevada, will be six weeks late.
07:26The engineer is getting a divorce.
07:32Look, uh, Miss?
07:33Yes, sir?
07:34Well, I think I'll take this week's Look magazine here,
07:37because there's something I want to read in here about Gisele McKenzie's story here.
07:42I want to get a book, too, on the train. Let's see.
07:45There's Treadmill to Oblivion by Fred Allen.
07:49There's Bob Hope's book, Half Tux Will Travel.
07:53Call Me Lucky by Bing Crosby.
07:59Call Me Lucky Lager by Frank Remley.
08:07There's a corkscrew in here for the...
08:11Well, anyway, I think I've read... I've read everything.
08:14There's a wonderful new book by Georgie Jessel I know you'll love.
08:17It's called This Way, Miss.
08:19Oh, this is Jessel's new book, huh?
08:22Oh, yeah, I think I'll buy this one. I'll send him... I'll have him autograph it for me, you see.
08:26Oh, do you know Mr. Jessel?
08:28I'm his son.
08:33I'll take... I'll take this one, I think.
08:35Attention, please. Attention.
08:37Train now leaving on track eight for Barstow,
08:41Albuquerque, Kansas City, Chicago, and Cucamonga.
08:48They really moved it.
08:54Thank you. Thank you very, very much.
08:57Jack, look who I just ran into.
08:59Hey, the sportsmen. Hiya, fellas.
09:04Yeah, they came down to say goodbye to you.
09:06Well, that's nice. Goodbye, boys. You know, I'm going, by the way.
09:09With our regards to Broadway, remember us tomorrow's play.
09:16If everybody's looking on Lucky's hit parade, we wish that we were there.
09:23We know you go to Lindy's because the sauerkraut is free.
09:30And tell everyone on old Broadway to light an LSMFD.
09:40Fellas, look, everybody's watching you. Stop dancing.
09:46Fellas, look, stop dancing.
09:48Everybody's watching.
09:50Now, wait a minute, boys. Wait a minute.
09:53Wait a minute. Wait a minute!
09:59Even Max Liebman wouldn't say goodbye like that.
10:03Attention, please. Attention.
10:05On next Sunday, your railroad schedules will change.
10:09The whole country will go on light-up time.
10:13Well, I can't interfere with that.
10:16Give our regards to LS. Remember us to MFTFT.
10:23Tell all our friends it's light-up time.
10:26No matter what the time may be.
10:29Even daylight's saving. Lucky's are so much smoother.
10:34A cleaner, fresher cigarette.
10:38Lucky's are toasted. Yes, sirree.
10:41And like Ed Sullivan's crown, they are the toast of the town.
10:44So let's all light up our Lucky's town.
10:58Look, John, the next time the sportsman quartet want to say goodbye to me, bring them to my house, will you?
11:03Okay, I'll do it, Jack. See you on the train.
11:05Okay, I gotta go and pick up a ticket.
11:07Bye, Marion.
11:08Goodbye, Bill.
11:12Ah, gee, isn't that sweet?
11:23Oh, there you are, mister.
11:25I thought you left.
11:26I've been looking all over for you.
11:28I had to come back.
11:30Have a nice trip.
11:32Enjoy yourself.
11:34Please, please, don't forget to write.
11:40I never saw you before today.
11:43I can't help it. I just can't stand to see people go.
11:48Why must people always be traveling, traveling, traveling?
11:53Get away from me.
11:59Secretary Dulles must drive him nuts.
12:03Oh, my goodness, I forgot the parrot.
12:05Bye, Marion.
12:06Goodbye, Bill.
12:08Ah, isn't that cute?
12:12Polly, Polly, Daddy forgot all about you.
12:15I'm terribly sorry.
12:17Oh, miss.
12:18Yes, sir?
12:19The parrot happened to take a TV guide here.
12:22I'm sorry.
12:23Oh, that's all right.
12:24The parrot happened to take a TV guide here.
12:26I'm sorry.
12:27Oh, that's all right.
12:28She already paid for it.
12:34Polly paid for it?
12:35Where'd she get the money?
12:36I don't know.
12:37Attention, please, attention.
12:40All you absent-minded people who forgot to pay your income tax,
12:45train now leaving for Folsom, San Quentin, and Alcatraz.
12:52Change clothes in San Francisco.
12:57The silliest thing I've ever heard.
12:59Goodbye, Polly.
13:00Goodbye, Bill.
13:03Gosh.
13:06I'll never see.
13:09Hey, bud.
13:12Bud.
13:13Huh?
13:14Come here a minute.
13:17Who, me?
13:18Yeah, you.
13:22Where you going?
13:23To New York.
13:25What train you taking?
13:27The Super Chief.
13:28Uh-uh.
13:33What?
13:34Take the El Capitan.
13:38I don't know.
13:39I like the Super Chief.
13:42Come here a minute.
13:43I don't know.
13:48El Capitan will beat Super Chief into Chicago by three lengths.
13:56Are you sure?
13:58I was talking to the engineer that rides El Capitan,
14:01and he says that today she is ready.
14:10Gee, I don't know.
14:11The El Capitan, eh?
14:12Yes, sir.
14:13Take my word for it.
14:14She likes a fast track, hugs the rail,
14:19and she has a braided caboose.
14:26No kidding.
14:28Just look at the breeding.
14:30The breeding?
14:32El Capitan is by 20th century,
14:35out of Bethlehem steel.
14:43Well, thanks very much for the tip,
14:46but you see, I have some information, too, you know.
14:50You have?
14:51Yeah.
14:54Come here a minute.
15:00Don't noise this around, see?
15:02But I'm taking the Super Chief.
15:04Why?
15:06I found out Super Chief is a sleeper.
15:12Yeah.
15:17Okay.
15:18See you at the Kentucky Derby.
15:29What a character.
15:30Attention, please, attention.
15:34Will the immigrant carrying the birdcage
15:37please go to the station agent and be vaccinated?
15:43Yes, sir.
15:46Immigrant.
15:47I was here before the Indians.
15:50Cleveland Indians, I mean.
15:58Oh, there you are for heaven's sakes.
16:01You again.
16:02I'm so glad you haven't left yet.
16:05I bought something for you.
16:07Here, take this candy for these flowers.
16:10Flowers?
16:12Have a nice trip, but please hurry back.
16:19I didn't want to take you to the station,
16:22but you made me.
16:23I know, I know.
16:26Why do people always have to go away?
16:29Why?
16:429,000 taxi drivers in Los Angeles,
16:44I had to get Betty Davis.
16:49Boss.
16:50Boss, we're almost ready to go.
16:51I better take Polly and put her on the train.
16:53Okay.
16:54Rochester, wait a minute.
16:55You better take this, too.
16:56And here, I'll meet you on the train.
16:58All right, I'll take this.
17:01I'm terribly sorry.
17:02Mr. Benny.
17:04Mr. Kitzel.
17:10Kitzel, why are you dressed like that?
17:13I'm going back to Glasgow for a family reunion.
17:18A family reunion?
17:20Aye, lady, the Kitzels of Loch Lomond.
17:24You mean that your family is Scots?
17:26Who, who, who, who?
17:27Mom.
17:30Oh, my, is your wife Scotch?
17:32Positively Scotch, yes.
17:34What do you know?
17:35So your wife is a wee bonnie lassie, eh?
17:38Wee bonnie she isn't, but like lassie she looks.
17:45Mr. Kitzel, you must be kidding.
17:48Yes.
17:49Oh, my.
17:50I thought so.
17:51Hey, listen.
17:52Can you play the bagpipes?
17:53No.
17:54You know, when I bought this shoe, Jim Clinton threw it in.
18:00Well, goodbye, Mr. Kitzel.
18:02Goodbye.
18:03Have a wonderful trip and a lot of fun.
18:05And a wee Dock and Doris to you.
18:07Yeah.
18:09Lomond in the Lomond.
18:20Attention, please.
18:21Attention.
18:22This is an emergency.
18:23Will the section hands and maintenance men please clear track seven.
18:27The express now arriving in Los Angeles has no brakes.
18:37It is now going through Hollywood.
18:45It is now going through Westwood.
18:47Westwood.
18:51It is now going through Santa Monica.
19:05And there you are.
19:11Gee.
19:12This I can't figure out at all.
19:15Oh, mister.
19:16Yeah.
19:23Are you the ticket clerk?
19:24No.
19:25No, they put me behind these bars for toasting marshmallows out of season.
19:30Look, now, don't be smart.
19:32I have a reservation here for tickets.
19:34I'm Jack Benny.
19:35Well, you could have fooled me.
19:36I thought you were Davy Crockett.
19:40Now, look, I've got a ticket there.
19:41I made a reservation.
19:42Well, that's funny.
19:43I don't find any reservation here for you, Mr. Benny.
19:45Well, I made it three days ago.
19:47Anyway, if you haven't got it, give me a ticket right away.
19:49I need space.
19:50I'm the super chief.
19:51I'm going to New York.
19:52Well, would you like the $60 ticket or the $140 ticket?
19:56Why, what's the difference?
19:57With the $140 ticket, you ride inside.
20:01Well, of course I want to ride inside.
20:03Now, don't be smart and get me my ticket.
20:05I want a ticket to New York.
20:07Return trip?
20:08No, one way.
20:10Good.
20:11Now, if we can only get rid of the small.
20:14Now, cut that out!
20:17Well, aren't we lucky?
20:18I just found your reservation.
20:20You didn't find it at all.
20:21You had it all the time.
20:22You just did that to aggravate me.
20:24Oh, did I?
20:29Attention, please.
20:30Attention.
20:31The super chief now leaving for Albuquerque, Kansas City, Chicago, and New York.
20:38All aboard.
20:39That's my train.
20:40Hurry.
20:44Boss, I'm getting ready to go.
20:45I'll be with you in a minute.
20:46Be with you in a minute.
20:47Sign right here.
20:48Okay.
20:49Be right with you, Roger.
20:50Boss!
20:51Boss!
20:52I'm coming.
20:53I'm coming.
20:54I'll be right with you.
20:55I'll be right with you.
20:56Bye, Marion.
20:57Goodbye, Bill.
20:58Hey, Bill.
20:59Bill, lookit.
21:00This is none of my business, but you better hurry, too.
21:03What for?
21:04My train doesn't leave until September.
21:09September?
21:10Bye, Marion.
21:11Goodbye, Bill.
21:12Well, look, my train leaves right away.
21:14Goodbye, Marion.
21:27Jack, we'll be back in just a minute, but first...
21:34Light up the lucky.
21:36It's light up time.
21:38Be happy, go lucky.
21:40It's light up time.
21:42For the taste that you like, light up the lucky strike.
21:46Relax.
21:49It's light up time.
21:53You know, probably the most fun about working around the yard is when your wife says,
21:58come on, let's have a smoke, especially if the smoke is a lucky strike,
22:02because a lucky tastes better every time.
22:05I'll tell you why that is.
22:08It all begins right here in the heart of America's tobacco-growing country.
22:12Begins with fine tobacco.
22:14LSMFT.
22:16Lucky strike means fine tobacco.
22:18Tobacco so fine, so light, so mild, it's just naturally good tasting.
22:24And then that tobacco is toasted.
22:26It's toasted is the famous lucky strike process that brings lucky's fine tobacco
22:31to its peak of flavor, tones it up to make it taste even better.
22:35Cleaner, fresher, smoother.
22:38So whenever it's light up time for you, light up a lucky.
22:41You'll say it's the best tasting cigarette you ever smoked.
22:46For the taste that you like, light up the lucky strike.
22:50Right now.
22:53Light up a lucky.
22:55It's light up time.
23:06Oh, boy.
23:09Gee, that was a good dinner.
23:11They really have good food on this train.
23:14Well, I think I might as well relax and...
23:18Wait a minute.
23:20Whose clothes are these?
23:23This isn't my station.
23:28It is D.
23:30Gee, I can't...
23:35You!
23:36I told you I hate the station.
23:39I just want to come to the station.
23:41I tried to break away and it's your fault.
23:43You made me come to the station.
23:45I hate to come to the station.
23:47I couldn't help it.
23:49I'll get another compartment.
23:51I'll get another compartment, say.
23:53Ladies and gentlemen, be sure to watch Hank Sutter next week.
23:58And Jack Benny will be on in two weeks from New York
24:02with his guest, Jackie Gleason.
24:07It'll be the funniest show.
24:31Thank you very, very much, ladies and gentlemen.
24:35He was right.
24:36Even though he was crying, he was right.
24:38I'm going to be in New York in two weeks
24:41and do my last show from there.
24:43And my guest star is going to be Jackie Gleason.
24:47You see, I was on his show once
24:49and we have a sort of a reciprocal agreement.
24:53You see, where I go on Jackie Gleason's show for nothing.
24:58You see, you know I don't get paid.
25:01And then Gleason, of course, comes on my show for nothing.
25:06Reciprocal meaning that Gleason is just as cheap as I am.
25:14And, of course, we're all going,
25:16and Mary may be on this show, too, in about two weeks.
25:19That is, if it won't interfere with her shopping.
25:24I know you're wondering, now, why would she be shopping?
25:27You know, how could she be in a store on Sunday?
25:31Well, they lock her in Saturday night.
25:36So if any of you in New York happen to pass a store window
25:39and they see a mannequin changing furs,
25:42you see, don't worry about it, it's Mary.
25:46And now, ladies and gentlemen,
25:49you know, I'll never forget, but I must tell you about this.
25:51Mary, the last time we went to New York,
25:55well, I think it was the last trip, Mary said to me,
25:57that she had never been to the circus.
26:00She wanted me to take her to the circus, so I did, you know.
26:02And then when we got inside, of course, I was a wreck in there.
26:05I never saw such animals.
26:06I jumped away and said, Jack, what's the matter?
26:08I said, well, look at these.
26:09I never saw animals like these in my life,
26:11with lions and tigers.
26:12And she said, Jack, take off your glasses,
26:15this is the flea circus.
26:18Well, we had the most wonderful time, really.
26:24And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you to meet
26:28the fellow that's been on my show for so many years
26:31and did the crying taxi driver, Mel Blanc.
26:35Ladies and gentlemen.
26:38Mel.
26:41I want to tell you something, really,
26:43you've been a wonderful guest.
26:45I want to tell you something, really,
26:47you've been with me so many years,
26:48and you gave the most wonderful performance today.
26:51You were really great.
26:52Thank you, Jack.
26:53I'd like to sell you one of those.
26:55Anyway.
26:58Mel, you know what's amazing to me?
27:00How you can cry any time you want,
27:03or like on the spur of the moment.
27:05How do you do a thing like that?
27:07I can't understand it.
27:08It's just wonderful acting.
27:09Cry a little bit now.
27:11Well, I have to be in the mood, Jack.
27:13I'm not in the mood.
27:14Well, couldn't you try?
27:16I mean, you couldn't.
27:17Now that the act, you couldn't, I see.
27:18Well, all right.
27:19Well, anyway, thanks very, very much.
27:21Thank you, Jack.
27:22For being on this show.
27:23Oh, wait a minute.
27:24Oh, wait a minute, Mel.
27:25Come back here.
27:26I may not see you later on, so here.
27:28Here's your check, you know.
27:30And now, ladies and gentlemen,
27:33ladies and gentlemen,
27:37I can't understand music.
27:40I must be through.
27:41Goodbye.
28:07Appearing on tonight's program were Mel Blanc,
28:09the Sportsman Quartet, Frank Nelson,
28:11Sheldon Leonard, Artie Auerbach,
28:13Chuckie Bradley, Mike Moore, and Dolores Donnelly.
28:15Remember, one week from tonight on this same station,
28:17be sure and watch Ann Southern in Private Secretary.
28:20Jack Benny's next television show will be in two weeks.
28:23In the meantime, this is Don Wilson reminding you
28:25to listen to Jack Benny on radio every Sunday night
28:28over the CBS radio network.
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29:03The Jack Benny Program has been brought to you
29:05by the American Tobacco Company,
29:07America's leading manufacturer of cigarettes.
29:10The Jack Benny Program has been selected for viewing
29:13by America's armed forces overseas.