Not Rated | 30min | Comedy,TV Series | Episode aired 17 January 1954
Jack visits the home of Liberace, but even he isn't ready for the outrageous extravagance he sees there.
Director: Ralph Levy
Writers: Sam Perrin, George Balzer, Milt Josefsberg, Jack Tackaberry
Stars: Jack Benny, Eddie 'Rochester' Anderson, Don Wilson
Jack visits the home of Liberace, but even he isn't ready for the outrageous extravagance he sees there.
Director: Ralph Levy
Writers: Sam Perrin, George Balzer, Milt Josefsberg, Jack Tackaberry
Stars: Jack Benny, Eddie 'Rochester' Anderson, Don Wilson
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00From television city in Hollywood, we bring you the Jack Benny program with Jack's special
00:11guest Liberace, presented by Lucky Strike.
00:18Friends, smoking enjoyment is all a matter of taste.
00:27And the fact of the matter is, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco, fine, light, mild tobacco
00:55that just naturally tastes better, and Luckies are made better.
01:00They're round and firm and fully packed to draw freely and smoke evenly with fine tobacco
01:06in a better made cigarette.
01:08Golly, you're just bound to get better taste.
01:11Smoking enjoyment is all a matter of taste, and the fact is, Luckies taste better, clean
01:19and fresh just proves us, oh, oh, Lucky Strike, oh, oh, Lucky Strike.
01:40Hello Mr. Benny's dressing room, star of stage, screen, radio, and right now he's in front
01:45of the cameras trying to convince television.
01:47Who's calling please, oh, TV Guide Magazine, oh, oh, yes, oh, I'm sure he'd be glad to
01:55pose for pictures.
01:58You want to do a story about his program, oh, he'd be more than flattered, but I'll
02:04tell Mr. Benny just as soon as he, Benny, Benny, oh, you want Beanie.
02:14Oh, he's on another network, Benny and Beanie is close, I'll bet Cecil is C6C serving, makes
02:26more than I do, hi, boys, hello, Rochester, well, there's another show over with, and
02:42Rochester is the most wonderful audience out there, you know, they didn't miss a thing,
02:48got every gag, laughed at everything, I don't know, you know, Rochester, there's something
02:54about, I don't know, when an audience laughs the way they did today, it does something
02:59to me here, that's a smile, all right, you almost had a heart attack when they laughed
03:07at Bob Hope, I did not, listen, I'm going to get these clothes off, Rochester, now you
03:15know very, very well that I'm not jealous of Bob Hope or any other comedian, I like
03:21all comedians, and let me tell you something else, Rochester, believe me, it isn't only
03:26the comedy that counts or the laughs, it's how you look out there, it's your appearance,
03:31believe me, that's important too, you know, I saw your show and you really looked good
03:36today, I did? Uh-huh, you know, in the close-ups, your shoulders were as broad as Victor Mature's,
03:43no, really? Uh-huh, and in the long shots, you were as tall as Gary Cooper, I am? Uh-huh,
03:51and in the medium shots, you were as thin as, as, as Captain Hepburn, oh, thanks, thanks,
04:00Rochester. Hey, Jack? Yeah? Jack, I just ran out of cold cream, have you got some? Yeah,
04:08there's some on my dressing table there. Oh, here.
04:16Rochester? Uh-huh? Take these, will you? Yes, sir. Victor Mature! Take this, too. Yes, sir.
04:41Gary Cooper! Hepburn! Well, how does it feel to be Jack Benny again? Fine, fine. Say, Rochester, while I was out, were there any calls for me?
05:01Oh, several, but one seemed to be urgent. You had a call from Mr. Liberace. Liberace? Mm-hmm. Gee, it must have been
05:09important. What did he want? Maybe it was out of cold cream. Oh, don't be funny. I better call back and see what he wants.
05:16Okay, I'll go get your trousers pressed. Liberace, huh? Yeah. Say, Mabel? What is it, Gertrude? Mr. Benny's line is flashing.
05:33Yeah, I wonder what Stacy Bonehead wants now. I'll plug in and find out. Yes, Mr. Benny? Oh, Gertrude, I had a very important message to call Liberace.
05:47Will you please see if you can get his home? Yes, sir. He wants I should get him Liberace. Well, pack up your troubles in your own kid bag and smile, smile,
05:57smile, smile. Well, look who's being sarcastic. I'll bet you wish you could smile like Liberace. I could if I did what he did. What'd he do? He had his upper lip removed.
06:14Well, anyway, I'd rather go out with Liberace than that sourpuss, Jack Benny. Yeah, I know what you mean. You know, the other night, Jack took me out for a drive.
06:24And when we got to a lonely spot, the car suddenly stopped and he said he was out of gas. He's been out of gas for a long time. What was wrong with the car? Nothing. When he stopped the car, I thought he was going to kiss me, but he didn't.
06:42He didn't even lean back like this. I don't blame him. I've seen a better pucker on a clothed laundry bag. Oh, yeah. Yes, Miss Benny? Gertrude, what's taking so long? I've been trying to get Mr. Liberace's house, but his line is busy.
07:06Well, look it, Gertrude, keep trying to get him, and if you reach him, tell him that I'm on the way to his house. I'm going over to his home right away. Okay.
07:36Geoffrey? Oh, Geoffrey?
07:53What did you call me, sir? Geoffrey, there's someone at the front door. Oh, very good, sir.
07:58How do you do? How do you do? I came over here to see Mr. Liberace. I didn't know he had company. Oh, I'm the butler. Oh, aren't you coming in? Thank you. Oh, Jack. Oh, Liberace. How are you? You know, this is the first time I've been here. You really have a beautiful home.
08:24Well, thank you. My brother George and I find it very comfortable. You do? Yes, it must be nice and warm. Oh, you're referring to my candelabra. I didn't think you'd notice them.
08:45Well, I'm very observant. Well, you see, anyone with an artistic temperament is inclined to be a little nervous and high-strung, and I find candlelight very restful, and it relieves the tension. And it practically eliminates the electric bill.
09:03Now, Liberace, I tried to answer your call, you see. I knew you'd called me, and your line was busy, so I came over to see what you wanted. Well, Jack, I wanted to see you about something very important. Why don't you sit down? Well, thank you. Thank you.
09:22I beg your pardon, sir, but Pierre would like to know what you'd like him to prepare for dinner. Well, I don't know. What did we have last night? Quiz de grenouille a la José Ferrer. Oh, yes. Quiz de la José Ferrer? What's that? Frog slates in a kneeling position.
09:52Well, I've never had them that way. Oh, they're very good. Really? Do we have any left? Oh, yes, sir. Three knees and a shinbone. Well, that's not very much. Oh, yes, it is, sir. You see, the shinbone's connected to the knee bone, and the knee bone's connected to the hip bone, and the hip bone's connected to the thigh bone.
10:22This dinner could be on the hip parade.
10:35Geoffrey, send Pierre in. Oh, very good, sir. Pierre? Oh, he's my chef. Excellent, excellent. In fact, he comes from a long line of chefs. His grandfather created a wonderful French dressing in 1888. An 1888 French dressing? He beat Chef Malani by two years.
10:59Gee!
11:05Did you wish to see me, sir? Yes, Pierre. What do you suggest for dinner tonight? Well, we have some breast of flamingo and gazelle steaks. Breast of flamingo and gazelle steak? Would you like to stay for dinner, Jack?
11:22Well, if you have enough, I wouldn't want you to run to the zoo, Jessica.
11:32Well, I sure will have enough.
11:35Pierre, Mr. Benny will stay for dinner. Very good, sir. Thank you. Thank you very, very much.
11:43Well, Liberace, you certainly know how to live. You have a chef and two butlers.
11:51Oh, no, no. I just have one butler, Geoffrey.
11:54What about this gentleman over here?
11:56Oh, that's Martin. He's my candle changer.
12:02You mean he changes the candle?
12:04He can change them when one burns down without losing a flicker.
12:09Gosh!
12:12You mean you have a man just to change the candle?
12:18I have four of them.
12:26I can't get over it.
12:28Now, I suppose you're anxious to know why I wanted to get in touch with you.
12:32Yes. Yes, I am.
12:34Well, I'll tell you why. I beg your pardon, sir.
12:37What is it, Geoffrey? Yamaguchi would like to speak to you, sir.
12:40Oh, Yamaguchi. Send him right in.
12:43Yamaguchi?
12:45He's my gardener.
12:47Oh, you have a gardener.
12:52Yamaguchi, you wanted to see me?
12:54Yes, sir. I've got the bathroom all cleaned up, sir.
12:57Well, fine. If you'll step over to the window with me, I'll show you what I'd like you to do next.
13:02Excuses, please.
13:04Yes, yes.
13:12Oh!
13:43Oh!
14:06That's the way I'd like to have you do the backyard.
14:09Yes, sir.
14:11Look, uh...
14:20Little Rotchie, I know this isn't my business, but I think that, uh, this fellow Martin is a little confused.
14:26He put candles on Yamaguchi's rake.
14:30I know. This is the day we burned the weeds.
14:41Now, um, about this that you wanted to see me about...
14:45Oh, yes, yes.
14:47Well, Jack, you see, my brother George is detained in New York.
14:51And I'm giving a concert tonight, and I wonder if you'd be so kind as to take my brother's place and play your violin.
14:59Me?
15:01Are you cr... Are you serious?
15:06But...
15:07Little Rotchie, I...
15:09You see, I'm a... I'm a comedian, a buffoon.
15:12And the violin is just a... a prop in my hand just to... to get laughs, that's all.
15:19I know, Jack. That's the shame of it all.
15:22What do you mean, shame?
15:24Well, you see, I feel that deep down inside of you is a great musical talent.
15:30But you just haven't surrounded yourself with the proper atmosphere.
15:34You may be right.
15:38Well, you notice, I always adorn my piano with a candelabra.
15:43And you know, the audience seems to sense that my inspiration is extracted from the warm glow of the tiny flickering flames.
15:52Tiny flickering flames, huh?
15:54Well, that wouldn't work with me.
15:57See, once I played my violin where they burned down the theater, and I was still lousy.
16:01However, if you'd like me to appear at your concert with my violin, I'd only be too happy to.
16:07Oh, well, good. Thanks a lot, Jack.
16:09Oh, oh, oh, Little Rotchie, of course, we haven't discussed money, you see, salary.
16:14I don't know if you realize what I get for each appearance that I make.
16:19No, I don't. What do you get?
16:21Well, for... it may come as a surprise, you see, but I...
16:24For each appearance, I get $7,500.
16:28Oh, well, Jack, that's for being a comedian.
16:31Now, what was the last salary you got just for playing your violin?
16:35$1.80 an hour.
16:39It was a wonderful couple. I'm so glad they got married.
16:48Now, anyway, I'll be so happy if you'd like me to appear at your concert with my violin.
16:54I'd be so happy to be on your concert.
16:56Uncle Leverotchie! Uncle Leverotchie! Where are you?
16:59In here, Willie. Who's that?
17:01That's my nephew, Willie. He's been out playing football with his friends.
17:04Oh!
17:05Hello, Uncle Leverotchie.
17:10I want you to meet Mr. Benny. This is my nephew, Willie.
17:13Oh, hello.
17:14How do you do, Mr. Benny?
17:15Hello, Willie.
17:17Now, you run along and get dressed for dinner.
17:19Yes, Uncle Leverotchie.
17:20Okay.
17:22He's a cute little fella, isn't he?
17:25Dinner is served.
17:27Oh, fine.
17:28Shall we go in?
17:29Yes, and then we'll get ready for the concert, right?
17:31Fine, fine, Leverotchie.
17:46Oh, gosh, darling, isn't Leverotchie wonderful?
17:48Oh, wonderful.
17:49I just can't wait till the intermission's over.
17:51Donald, what are you doing?
17:53I'm just noticing everybody in the lobby is smoking a lucky strike.
17:57Are you sure they're all smoking luckies?
17:59Well, I imagine so.
18:02Oh, excuse me a minute, dear.
18:03Mm-hmm.
18:19Oh, dear.
18:49Oh, dear.
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22:45How about tuning up.
22:53What?
22:54How about tuning up?
22:55Yeah, go right ahead.
23:01How about you tuning?
23:03Oh.
23:03Oh, gimme a second.
23:14Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to play a number that I recorded that we've had many requests for, haven't we?
23:23It's called the September Song.
23:53It's called the September Song.
24:23It's called the September Song.
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