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The Simpsons Season 33 Episode 15 -
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Transcript
00:00You'll be fine.
00:03And my burrito is ready.
00:06Your boy should wake up soon.
00:09Alright, this time he's really done it.
00:12We're gonna have to do something.
00:14Change schools, move, whatever it takes.
00:18Mom?
00:19Sweetie, are you okay?
00:21I am.
00:22Then why would you do such a stupid, stupid thing?
00:26Can't hope.
00:27And now I don't.
00:28Why?
00:30Please, oh Lord, let him think of an awesome lie.
00:34Well, when I was in the other world...
00:38What other world?
00:40Mm-hmm.
00:41I'm not sure.
00:42But it was joyful.
00:44Clouds.
00:45Harps.
00:46Abe Lincoln.
00:47Oh my God, Marge.
00:49I think our son went to heaven.
00:50Were there any other presidents?
00:52Bed confession.
00:53He's not on his deathbed.
00:55The guy in the bed before him died.
00:57Mom, Jesus said to tell you things will get better.
01:01I really wanna believe that.
01:04If you saw Jesus, did you see anything else?
01:07I saw your dad, Grandpa Bouvier.
01:09Tell me something he said that only I would know.
01:12He said...
01:13Hmm?
01:14He thinks Homer is an idiot.
01:16Oh my God!
01:17I can hear...
01:18Tell me more about heaven, son.
01:22Jesus rides a rainbow horse.
01:24Fascinating.
01:25Is the horse rainbow colored or does it walk on a rainbow?
01:29Uh...
01:30Rainbows come out its butt.
01:31Let me ponder that with joy.
01:34Mmm.
01:35Tell me more, son.
01:36Well, there's no cracks on the sidewalks.
01:38And saying you brushed your teeth makes it true.
01:42You can go to baseball games with Marks.
01:45No.
01:46But he really thinks the sermons are too long.
01:48Boys, we're gonna have a talk with the Reverend.
01:51Okay.
01:56Bart, I've held my tongue because I appreciate you not ruining my song.
02:01Can't ruin what already sucks.
02:03Burn.
02:04All right.
02:05I'm just gonna say it.
02:06I don't think you really saw Jesus.
02:08You know, the Lord warned...
02:11Ooh, that's the devil ringing that bell.
02:13Are you gonna answer?
02:15Hey, don't think you can scare the boy who died and went to heaven.
02:19Get the door!
02:21Hey, cut it out!
02:23Oh, no.
02:24It's stuck.
02:26Hello, Bart.
02:27We are Christian movie producers.
02:30So...
02:31You give all your profits back to the church?
02:36Now, we'd like to tell your son's story.
02:40You wanna make a movie out of what happened to Bart?
02:43Why, absolutely.
02:44Unless it's not true.
02:46Okay, I could admit the boy totally lied.
02:50Or I could make a movie inspired by true events.
02:57Brother Homer, why do you hesitate?
02:59I hesitate because I, um...
03:02Would you like?
03:03I want input on the script.
03:05I want two seats to the premiere.
03:07And my wife needs a seat as well.
03:09And I'm not thanking the Georgia Film Commission, no matter what.
03:12We will need to prey on this, Brother Homer.
03:15Of course.
03:16So will we.
03:17Kneel down, boy.
03:18What for?
03:19Because we are going to pray like we often do.
03:24Heavenly God who art in heaven, holler out your name.
03:28Diddly, diddly, diddly.
03:29Diddly, diddly, diddly.
03:30Diddly, diddly.
03:31Diddly.
03:32Nice to diddly meet ya.
03:33I heard movie meetings were horrible, but I had no idea.
03:36Well, perhaps you could write this screenplay with Brother Homer.
03:41Meh, I don't think so.
03:42Wait, wait, wait.
03:43I'm being filled with the spirit of Jesus.
03:47And what's he saying?
03:48He says he wants Dad and Mr. Flanders to work together day after day in a tiny...
03:55Thanks for helping us free that whale, Willy.
03:59Aye.
04:00Now to put on me camouflage.
04:02Man, you really know this place.
04:07I work here in the summer.
04:09Unlike you children, a fish don't make fun of me.
04:15Just cause you're cuter than me, don't mean you're better than me.
04:19You're not even a f-
04:20We'll go straight in the ocean.
04:25Uh, I believe it's Lefty Lucy?
04:28Everything in this country is backwards and wrong!
04:46Free!
04:47Pretty cool, huh Bart?
04:50Look how happy that thing is.
04:52At least this is a new feeling.
04:54We hope the whale be free and now I feel wonderful.
04:57What you're searching for is altruism.
05:02And that's called karma.
05:05Are you happy, Willy?
05:06I'll chew ya!
05:08Air bagpipes!
05:12Hold off, don't ask questions, don't probe for answers.
05:15I'll just pretend I don't know we're on a dock next to the water.
05:19That's where we are.
05:20A dock!
05:21Next to the water!
05:22Oh, you got a boat for the day!
05:25Did you bring beer and sandwiches?
05:27Why don't you open that?
05:30Hey, Midge.
05:31Got you beer and sandwiches right here.
05:37Good morning!
05:38Get you up!
05:40Woohoo!
05:44Woohoo!
05:45Eighty-eight years old and never learned to swim.
05:55What a wonderful day, homie.
05:58It's like we're living in the painting over our couch.
06:01Our marriage has never been better.
06:03Time to risk it all.
06:04You bought this boat?
06:07No, we bought this boat.
06:09You just weren't aware.
06:13You know what?
06:14It's okay.
06:15Are you nuts?
06:16You went out and got something the whole family could enjoy.
06:19Let's live a little.
06:21Oh my god, Marge!
06:22What's happened to you?
06:23I admit it.
06:24You've worn me down.
06:25You're my little polished gem.
06:30Spun at the marina!
06:32Oh, I never go-
06:33No, Dad!
06:34I got a boat!
06:36Get on!
06:37Oh, sure!
06:38I-
06:39Wait a minute.
06:40You're gonna kill me and dump me overboard.
06:42Well, fine.
06:43Here's my will.
06:45Oh, come on now.
06:46I'm not gonna kill you!
06:47That's cause you're a lazy bum!
06:49Now, come on.
06:50Give me a hug.
06:56Good one.
06:57Listen, I'm a mechanic and I think you're going to need my help.
07:01Your boat is used and it needs repairs now.
07:04Why now?
07:05It's sinking.
07:07So, Milhouse, as it turns out, I'm addicted to altruism.
07:10I'm not gonna be happy till I set another animal free.
07:13If I wanted to hang out with Lisa, I'd hang out with Lisa.
07:16No, you wouldn't.
07:18What?
07:19Now, I can't free another fish because they've increased security at the water park.
07:22Brilla.
07:23Powerful.
07:24Intelligent.
07:25She can sign five words.
07:27Friend.
07:28Enemy.
07:29Kill.
07:30Vodka.
07:31And Seinfeld.
07:32You know she wants out.
07:33Now, for security, I'll say the rest in Pig Latin.
07:36E-dee-u-way-o-gay-u-tay-e-dee-u-zay.
07:38We're going on eBay?
07:40Oh, I-ya-ya-rumba-kay.
07:45Hello?
07:46Are you sitting down?
07:47Of course.
07:48Fix-
07:49Plan, I need extra cards for my Rolodex.
07:54Heh.
07:55As a yuppie, I'm making lots more friends.
07:58Milhouse still isn't home, and it's two in the morning.
08:01My swatch watch says 7.30.
08:02Uh, see?
08:03Squiggle hand is just past the kissy lips.
08:04That way, that's the zig-zag hand.
08:05The zig-zag hand?
08:06Millhouse, where are you?
08:07Crazy?
08:08Am I?
08:09Does this look crazy to you, Luann?
08:10Does this?
08:12Ugh!
08:13Ugh!
08:14Ugh!
08:15Ugh!
08:16Ugh!
08:17Ugh!
08:19Ugh!
08:20Ugh!
08:21Ugh!
08:22Ugh!
08:23Ugh!
08:24You're friend's bike crashed here.
08:25We found his inhaler here.
08:27And over here is his final pee stain.
08:31You did drink a lot of new Cokes last night.
08:35Look, what the hell year is this anyway?
08:37I'm really getting confused.
08:39If Milhouse can tell you, I've been having an affair.
08:42Oh, is it Milhouse's breakdancing tutor?
08:46Did you tell him yet?
08:48Uh, hold your horses.
08:53Not now, Milhouse!
08:54Mommy and Daddy are loud talking!
08:56Why don't you go to your room, sweetie?
09:02Whoa, easy on the electric bill there, son.
09:06You like Milhouse?
09:07I like Milhouse, but I don't like like Milhouse.
09:11Wrong number!
09:19Milhouse is alive!
09:21I just talked to him!
09:22I think he's in another dimension.
09:25This is my best game ever.
09:26I'm not leaving until it's done.
09:28Come on, Bart!
09:30Fine.
09:31You can reach your head, listen, to increase conductivity.
09:34No, I was trying to give myself bangs and it got away from me.
09:38Now let's do this thing.
09:48I made it.
09:52I'm in the over-under.
09:54Yo.
09:57Milhouse!
09:58Just hold still and they can't see you.
10:00See?
10:01We are perfectly, perfectly...
10:04No, I forgot we're not supposed to talk either.
10:09Tough luck, dude.