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The Dating Game - Andy Kaufman (as Baji Kilo) - #10 in the GSN 50 Greatest Games Countdown
John Patrick Kruise
Follow
5/17/2025
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Transcript
Display full video transcript
00:00
It's the Dating Game!
00:06
Here's the star of the show and your host, Jim Lang!
00:10
Oh, oh, all right.
00:13
Thank you. Thank you very much.
00:15
And thank you and welcome to the Dating Game one more time.
00:18
Oh, we got something for you this time.
00:20
It's time to meet our first three eligible bachelors for game number one.
00:24
And here they are!
00:30
Welcome, gentlemen.
00:32
Our first bachelor is here on the Dating Game to prove
00:35
that it's never too late to be an embarrassment to your family.
00:39
He works in the record industry. He loves all outdoor activities.
00:43
Welcome, John Rotella.
00:44
John, good luck to you.
00:47
A bachelor number two is relatively new to the Hollywood area,
00:50
which means he's obscure to most of the girls in town.
00:52
But tomorrow, after exhibiting his romantic techniques on the Dating Game,
00:56
he will definitely be anonymous.
00:58
And he's an engineer, a hockey enthusiast, and a durable gambler, George Shower.
01:02
George, welcome.
01:06
And bachelor number three, sad to say, canceled out at the last moment.
01:10
So we grabbed the first man we saw hanging out on Hollywood Boulevard.
01:14
We just threw him into chair number three.
01:16
We know virtually nothing about this man,
01:18
only that he calls himself Baji Kimra.
01:20
Baji, welcome to the Dating Game.
01:23
Welcome, Baji.
01:23
And there they are.
01:25
Those are our three bachelors,
01:26
and we'll be right back to meet our young lady
01:28
right after this message.
01:29
Don't you go away.
01:37
Welcome back to the Dating Game,
01:38
and it's time to meet our young lady for game number one.
01:41
And here she is.
01:45
Oh, boy.
01:46
This dazzling vassalette is a chronic disco dancer.
01:49
She's here tonight to answer the musical question,
01:52
can the hustle really clear up the stress in the lower track?
01:56
She's a model, a magician, and a real pussycat.
01:59
Welcome, if you will, Miss Patrice Burke.
02:02
Hello.
02:04
Meow.
02:05
Meow.
02:08
Born under the sign of Leo.
02:09
No.
02:10
You know there are three bachelors over there,
02:13
and you ask them anything you like
02:15
except their name, age, occupation, or income,
02:17
and then when you figure out after it's all over
02:19
which one you want, you've got a date, okay?
02:21
Okay.
02:21
All right, we'll start with a hello from bachelor number one.
02:24
Number one, would you say hi to Patrice, please?
02:25
How you doing, Patrice?
02:26
How about number two?
02:28
How you doing today, Patrice?
02:29
And number three?
02:30
Hello, Patrice.
02:31
Are you ready for this?
02:35
I think I'm ready.
02:36
Got your questions all set?
02:37
Okay, have a seat right here.
02:39
Make yourself comfortable,
02:41
and good luck, Patrice.
02:43
Here we go.
02:46
Bachelor number three.
02:48
It's the holiday season, and I'm Santa.
02:51
You're on my lap.
02:52
Little boy, take it away.
02:54
What?
02:57
Wait a minute.
02:58
Wait.
02:58
I don't know what she look like.
03:01
Could I see what she looks like?
03:02
No, you can't number three, no.
03:04
Oh, all right.
03:04
That's part of the game.
03:05
You just have to stay there and answer as best you can.
03:07
But I don't know who she is.
03:09
No, I know.
03:10
I'm Santa.
03:11
But imagine she's beautiful.
03:12
Yeah.
03:12
I'm Santa.
03:13
I'm Santa.
03:15
Santa Claus.
03:16
Right.
03:17
But you don't sound like Santa Claus.
03:23
Okay.
03:28
Well, pretend.
03:29
Pretend.
03:30
Pretend.
03:30
You're on her lap.
03:31
Take it from there.
03:32
And what do I do?
03:43
That's what I want you to tell me.
03:45
I'm going to tell you what I want for Christmas.
03:47
Yeah.
03:49
What?
03:50
Right.
03:50
All right.
04:02
Record.
04:03
Uh, food.
04:05
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
04:07
I don't know.
04:08
Okay.
04:09
You were a good boy all year and you think you deserve it?
04:12
What?
04:13
Were you a good boy all year and you think you deserve all those?
04:16
Yes.
04:17
Okay.
04:19
Bachelor number one.
04:20
If I were a parent living in your apartment, what would be some of the sentences I would
04:25
have learned from hearing you carry on with your last girlfriend?
04:29
It wouldn't be words as more as groans and moans and grunts and noises that really make
04:38
no sense, but...
04:40
Give me a few examples.
04:44
I can tone it down a bit, too, as far as oohs and ahs and no and more and you.
04:50
And yes and yes and no.
04:52
They're not...
04:53
I mean, those are not sentences.
04:54
They're little words that mean something.
04:57
I mean, sentence is a long thing to put together, like, oh, thank you very much for this and that
05:01
and that.
05:02
They're like oohs and ahs and yes and thank you and this are just little words.
05:05
Okay.
05:08
The smart parrot.
05:10
Okay.
05:11
Okay.
05:16
Bachelor number two.
05:18
Sing me a song about your armpits.
05:20
My armpits are so beautiful.
05:28
You love to...
05:28
And when you reach elsewhere, you will not go back to the armpits.
05:35
Bachelor number one.
05:46
If you could invent a brand new story for how babies are born, how would that go and keep
05:51
the clean, because I'm just a little girl?
05:54
Well, you see, there's this little, little town in Africa.
05:57
And in Africa, it's where the mean country that everything branches out from, and this little
06:04
town is this little person, whose name is not Adi.
06:07
And he has this little machine in the corner, and he feeds it to little coconuts and the bananas
06:14
that the gorillas in this neighborhood come by and feed it.
06:16
And out of the coconuts and the bananas, mixed together, little concoctions.
06:23
In the drink, he feeds it to all the little ladies and girls all running around the town,
06:27
and from them come the little babies that are sent nationwide, partial posts.
06:33
Number three wants to say something.
06:42
Is it all right?
06:42
He's raising his hand.
06:43
You did not ask me.
06:48
You asked number two, and then you went to number one.
06:50
But she did not ask me again.
06:55
She asked me once, and she asked him twice.
06:58
No, I know.
06:59
But it's her prerogative to ask whoever she wants.
07:01
But I was next.
07:02
You're next.
07:03
You are next.
07:03
You're right.
07:04
All right.
07:05
All right.
07:06
Here you go.
07:10
Let's hear your best ending for this sentence.
07:13
I'll do anything for you except...
07:17
Except what?
07:23
That's what she wants.
07:25
No.
07:25
You will do anything for me?
07:27
No.
07:28
Except what?
07:29
You.
07:30
You will do anything for me except what?
07:33
I don't know.
07:37
What do you want me to say?
07:39
What?
07:40
I will do...
07:43
Do you know?
07:47
I...
07:47
I...
07:48
I...
07:49
I...
07:49
Not to...
07:51
Maybe to stand on my head.
07:53
Okay.
07:53
But I will do anything for you if you want me to go and be gay.
08:04
I...
08:05
Oh, thank you.
08:12
All right.
08:13
That's the end of the game.
08:14
Patrice, now you have to make up your mind.
08:16
So relax, analyze those complicated answers and come up with a decision.
08:19
And while we wait for Patrice to decide on her date,
08:22
we'll take time off.
08:24
Good evening.
08:24
Good evening.
08:24
Good evening.
08:43
Welcome back to the dating game.
08:45
And Patrice, we've reached that moment now
08:47
and you have to tell us
08:48
which one of those three wonderful fellas over there
08:50
gets the date.
08:51
Will it be Bachelor No. 1,
08:54
Bachelor No. 2,
08:55
or Bachelor No. 3?
08:57
Which one are you going to do?
08:58
Bachelor No. 1.
09:00
Number 1.
09:01
All right.
09:02
Congratulations.
09:04
Why No. 1?
09:04
Anything about No. 1?
09:06
I like his baby's face.
09:07
You like his story of babies from coconuts and bananas and all that?
09:11
All right.
09:12
Parcel post.
09:13
Now, before you meet him,
09:14
let's meet the other two bachelors.
09:15
They did a great job.
09:17
Bachelor No. 2 loves to play hockey.
09:19
No. 2 is a lucky gambler,
09:21
although he didn't get so lucky tonight.
09:23
He's an engineer.
09:24
Say hi to George Schauer.
09:25
George, come on and say hello, please.
09:31
Sorry, George.
09:32
Would have been nice if you didn't get today.
09:34
You also didn't choose Bachelor No. 3.
09:37
I must say this.
09:38
Bachelor No. 3 did not seem to know the rules.
09:41
He was a last-minute replacement on the show.
09:43
Bachelor No. 3 didn't show up,
09:45
so we just found him out on the street,
09:46
and it was very nice of him to come in.
09:48
Baji Kimran.
09:49
Baji, come on and say hello, please.
09:51
You mean I did not win?
09:53
I did not...
09:54
No.
09:55
Come on, Baji.
09:55
No, I won.
09:57
No.
09:57
No, I won.
09:58
But I won.
10:00
No, you didn't.
10:03
But I answered all the questions right.
10:07
No, Patrice didn't choose you, Baji.
10:10
But I answered all the questions the right way.
10:13
Come on.
10:14
Come on over, Baji.
10:15
Who?
10:15
He'll give you a kiss.
10:16
Who?
10:17
I did not lose.
10:19
I must...
10:20
He doesn't want to meet you.
10:21
Let me tell you something about the Bachelor.
10:23
Oh, here he comes.
10:24
Come on, Baji.
10:24
Oh, give him a hand.
10:28
He did a great job.
10:33
I heard all the questions the right way.
10:36
There is no right, you see.
10:37
But I was asked about it all.
10:39
I know you were.
10:40
I want to...
10:40
Especially I like the one about wanting food for Christmas.
10:44
I like that one.
10:45
But, Baji, I'm sorry you weren't...
10:47
We do have some gifts for you.
10:48
We have prizes, okay?
10:50
Okay?
10:50
No, don't be too bad.
10:51
Maybe you can come back.
10:53
Would you like to see him come back again, folks?
10:55
You can come back...
10:55
All right.
10:56
Thank you, Baji.
10:57
We'll see you come back and join us again, okay?
10:59
Go, Raph.
11:00
You can go now.
11:00
That's good.
11:01
No, Baji.
11:02
No, that's it.
11:03
I'm sorry.
11:05
I've never quite seen anybody take quite that hard.
11:15
That's the number one of your days.
11:16
He's an outdoors kind of person.
11:17
He's in the record industry.
11:19
If you like music, you know that.
11:20
Your date, John Rotella.
11:22
John, come on and say hi to Patrice.
11:24
Can you hear me?
11:28
Well, John and Patrice, hang on to your hats.
11:30
In fact, hang on to each other a little bit there
11:32
because we're going to whirl you away in your very own helicopter.
11:38
That's right.
11:39
You are going to light up the sky with your own personalized sky sign
11:43
with a gigantic neon lighting system.
11:45
Sky sign's helicopter will flash your message, whatever you want,
11:49
to the crowd below along with the stars.
11:51
Sky sign, a fly-by-night organization.
11:54
Then you're ready to swallow your bubble gum at Magic Mountain,
11:56
one of America's greatest and most complete amusement parks
11:59
with plenty of excitement to challenge you, darling Gators.
12:01
Like the Revolution.
12:03
That'll help you turn the town upside down.
12:05
And, of course, the world's greatest roller coaster,
12:07
the Colossus.
12:08
Magic Mountain, just a half an hour north of Hollywood, California.
12:12
Enjoy your day.
12:12
Thank you so much.
12:13
All right.
12:14
Go to Colossus, will you please?
12:16
Okay.
12:16
Thank you, guys.
12:17
We'll see you later.
12:19
Our newest candy shortbread cookies.
12:22
Time to meet our next three eligible bachelors for game number two.
12:25
And here they are.
12:28
All right, guys, good luck.
12:33
Bachelor number one is a young bartender
12:36
who truly inherited his grandfather's sense of humor.
12:39
He's a little miffed, though, because his sister got a ranch.
12:41
Golf, football, pool, boxing old movies are among his interests.
12:44
Here's Jeff Gagnon.
12:46
Jeff, good luck to you.
12:49
A young lady may prefer a brawny bull rider and all-city wrestler.
12:53
He's from Omaha, Nebraska, and he likes a woman with intelligence,
12:55
good humor, and guts.
12:57
Welcome, John Sloan.
12:59
John, good luck to you.
13:01
And women definitely consider this bachelor to be one of a kind.
13:05
But after just one appearance on the dating game,
13:06
his life-life, love life will definitely become a straight fly.
13:10
He's a psychotherapist, a carpenter, and a gourmet cook.
13:13
Here's Lee Solo.
13:14
All right, ladies, good luck to you.
13:17
And those are our bachelors for game number two.
13:20
A young lady is ready, so let's meet her right now.
13:22
Well, when they made this perky little bachelorette, they broke the mold.
13:28
Unfortunately, she was still in it.
13:30
She's a medical secretary for an orthopedic surgeon,
13:33
and she's here to work our three bachelors to the bone.
13:35
So, please welcome the very sexy Candace Patton.
13:39
Hello, Candace.
13:40
Oh, my goodness.
13:41
Yes.
13:42
Oh, some lucky bachelor over there.
13:44
Candace, you know how we play the game, right?
13:46
So we'll just start right out with the hellos and get underway.
13:48
Bachelor number one, would you say hi to Candace, please?
13:50
Good evening, Candace.
13:51
Number two.
13:52
Hi.
13:52
And number three.
13:53
Ah, sweet Candace, there's only one thing that separates the two of us,
13:56
and that's bachelor number one and bachelor number two.
14:00
There they are.
14:00
You all set to go?
14:01
There we go, Candace.
14:02
Make yourself comfortable.
14:03
Good luck, gentlemen.
14:04
And here we go.
14:06
Bachelor number three.
14:08
My name is Candy, and I'm sweet.
14:10
What's your nickname, and what are you?
14:12
Well, my nickname happens to be Big Tim,
14:16
and that's because some parts of me are very, very big.
14:19
I can't really tell you what they are.
14:20
That's okay.
14:21
Okay, bachelor number three, I get the message.
14:24
Bachelor number two, same question.
14:27
Ah, in this town, it's not good to say you're sweet.
14:30
I think I'll say I'm nice.
14:32
You're nice?
14:33
That's your nickname, Nice.
14:34
Nice is your nickname?
14:36
What is your nickname, and what are you?
14:39
I don't know what nickname I would have.
14:42
Okay.
14:44
Okay, bachelor number one.
14:45
Thank you, bachelor number two.
14:47
Bachelor number one,
14:48
Describe your love life to me as a weather report.
14:51
As a weather report?
14:53
Well, yes.
14:54
Oh, I love that voice.
14:56
All right, let me get down here.
14:57
As a weather report, I'd have to say,
14:59
it was very, very cloudy until I came onto the show
15:02
and I heard your voice down.
15:03
All of a sudden, with the bright lights,
15:04
the sun has come through.
15:06
I would definitely like to say that,
15:08
since I've met you, I can see it picking up.
15:10
Definitely.
15:10
It would be nice and sunny from now on.
15:12
How about a tornado?
15:12
Oh, I like to spend two weeks at the...
15:16
Okay.
15:17
We could die.
15:17
Thank you, bachelor number one.
15:19
All right.
15:19
Bachelor number three,
15:21
let me hear the imitation that you do best.
15:24
Well, sweetheart, I'd like to tell you that imitation,
15:26
but I'm not sure if I could do it here on television
15:28
night evening with you and tell you where it is, all right?
15:32
Okay.
15:33
Thank you, bachelor number three.
15:38
Bachelor number two, same question.
15:41
Your imitation that you do best.
15:47
Okay, bachelor number two.
15:52
Do you want to tell me what that was?
15:55
Uh, that was my mother-in-law.
15:57
Oh, okay.
15:58
No, I'm kidding.
15:59
I'm kidding.
16:00
Your mother-in-law, wait a minute.
16:02
You can't even be on the show.
16:03
You definitely have to be engaged.
16:05
I think it was King Kong.
16:06
King Kong.
16:08
Bachelor number three,
16:09
there are some things a man must do.
16:12
Name some.
16:13
It's a good thing that you asked me that question
16:15
about what men must do,
16:16
because that's a very unusual question.
16:18
We get up in the morning,
16:20
just like a lot of women,
16:20
and, you know, we put on our shoes
16:22
and our pants and our shirts,
16:24
and then there's something that we must do.
16:26
And what that is,
16:27
is look in the mirror
16:27
and check our hair and our makeup
16:29
and the usual things.
16:30
Thank you, bachelor number three.
16:32
Do you wear much makeup, bachelor number three?
16:36
Uh, only tonight for you, my dear,
16:38
have I worn lots of makeup.
16:40
Am I going to be shocked?
16:43
All right, that's the end of the game.
16:45
Now you have to make up your mind.
16:46
Okay, Candace?
16:47
So stay right there.
16:48
While Candy is trying to decide
16:49
which of those...
16:50
I'm Shandy Fennessy,
17:07
inviting all you desperate wives
17:09
and family guys,
17:10
to Playmania's salute
17:11
to TV's biggest night.
17:13
It's Winner's Weekend on Playmania,
17:15
Thursday through Sunday,
17:16
starting August 24th
17:17
at its new time,
17:18
12 midnight, 11 p.m. Central.
17:20
Only on GSN.
17:21
Welcome back to the dating game, everybody.
17:28
And, Candy, this is it.
17:29
You're going to have to choose
17:29
one of those bachelors
17:30
for a fabulous date
17:31
and only one.
17:33
The question is,
17:33
will it be bachelor number one,
17:35
bachelor number two,
17:37
or bachelor number three?
17:38
Who is the lucky fellow?
17:40
I think I'm going to take
17:41
bachelor number three.
17:42
Number three!
17:43
All right.
17:44
We got number three.
17:45
All right.
17:47
She did a lot of talk
17:48
and any reason why?
17:49
Just say hello.
17:59
He loves golf, football, pool,
18:01
and the old movies,
18:02
obviously an athlete.
18:03
He's also a bartender.
18:05
His name is Jeff Gagnon.
18:06
Jeff, come on and say hi,
18:07
would you please?
18:13
Your hello didn't make it, Jeff,
18:14
I guess.
18:14
He also didn't shoot
18:15
as bachelor number two.
18:16
He's a rodeo rider
18:18
and a champion wrestler
18:19
from Omaha, Nebraska,
18:20
John Flohn.
18:21
John, come on and say hi to Candy.
18:26
Candy wants you to look carefully.
18:28
He's a gentleman
18:28
you did not choose.
18:30
John's trying to get out of here.
18:31
All right, guys.
18:32
You can take off.
18:32
That's all right.
18:33
Thank you so much
18:33
for being on the show
18:34
and we'll hope to see you again soon.
18:37
It's time now to meet...
18:42
He is a gourmet cook,
18:43
so if you like to eat,
18:44
here's your man.
18:45
He's also a carpenter
18:46
and a psychotherapist.
18:48
That's right.
18:49
He's going to get right
18:50
into your mind.
18:50
Here he is, Lee Solo.
18:52
Lee, come on and say hello to Candy.
18:59
Congratulations, Lee.
19:00
And Candy, listen
19:01
and listen to me good.
19:03
Because your dream date
19:05
is going to bring you
19:05
face-to-face
19:06
with 200 stars
19:08
of the entertainment world.
19:09
But not here in Hollywood.
19:11
For that dream date,
19:12
you're going all the way
19:14
to Orlando, Florida.
19:17
That's right.
19:19
You'll visit
19:20
the Stars Hall of Fame,
19:21
the world's largest
19:22
black museum.
19:23
There you'll see
19:24
your favorite stars
19:24
recreated for you
19:25
in memorable scenes
19:26
from their exciting
19:27
show business careers.
19:29
Your exciting date begins
19:30
when you board
19:31
an Eastern Airlines
19:31
Whisper Jet
19:32
for your flight
19:33
to the radiance
19:33
of the Sunshine State.
19:35
Upon touchdown,
19:36
you'll be met
19:37
by the Stars Hall of Fame
19:38
vintage gold Rolls Royce.
19:40
And your Keystone Cup chauffeur
19:42
will deliver you
19:43
safely and soundly
19:44
to the Orlando Hyatt Hotel,
19:46
located in the heart
19:47
of the number one
19:48
vacation playground
19:49
in the world.
19:50
There you'll experience
19:50
the position of highest service
19:52
in one of central Florida's
19:53
most glamorous resort hotels.
19:55
We hope you both enjoy
19:56
exploring this exciting
19:57
vacation dreamland
19:58
of Orlando,
19:59
all brought to you
20:00
by the Stars Hall of Fame,
20:01
where dreams really do
20:03
come true.
20:04
Have fun, man.
20:05
Thank you so much.
20:06
Hey, want to help me
20:07
say goodbye?
20:07
Come on, time's up.
20:08
We'll go over here.
20:09
Candy, please?
20:11
Come on out, gang.
20:14
There she comes,
20:14
my very own friend.
20:17
Did you get to know
20:17
your date a little bit?
20:18
No?
20:19
Congratulations on
20:20
being selected.
20:21
Goodbye, no?
20:22
You talking at all?
20:25
Well, he's carried off.
20:26
Maybe he'll come back
20:27
and visit with us
20:27
some other time.
20:28
Anyway, thank you.
20:29
Come back and visit
20:30
with us some other time
20:31
yourself.
20:31
And we hope you always
20:32
get the date
20:33
that you really want.
20:34
Ready, Phil, kid?
20:35
Come on, let's go.
20:36
Here we go.
20:36
Oh no.
GSN (2004-2018)
21:03
|
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