- yesterday
Matrimoney Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:01What?
00:00:02Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:00:05Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:00:07Here, place your mind.
00:00:09I'm not staying in a doghouse.
00:00:12Ahem.
00:00:13Can you guys just keep it down? I have work tomorrow morning.
00:00:16Sorry.
00:00:17Hey, Amelia.
00:00:20Looks like someone needs obedience to school.
00:00:23Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
00:00:25You started.
00:00:26Asshole!
00:00:27Crazy bitch!
00:00:28You told her?!
00:00:29He's my sister!
00:00:30I don't care! That violates our agreement!
00:00:32How?!
00:00:33What the fuck?!
00:00:36What?!
00:00:37Michelangelo?
00:00:38Don't look at him.
00:00:40You're such a hypocrite!
00:00:41I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement!
00:00:43I fucking hate you!
00:00:45I fucking hate you more!
00:00:53How was it?
00:00:55Well...
00:00:56That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:01:00Wait, what are you doing?
00:01:02That is an original.
00:01:03I'm so sick of your bullshit!
00:01:06Oh, fine!
00:01:07I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one!
00:01:10I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion!
00:01:13You're treating me like shit!
00:01:16That's from the Renaissance!
00:01:17You are history's worst nightmare!
00:01:19I tried to make this work with you!
00:01:20We signed a contract!
00:01:21For an arranged marriage!
00:01:23Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:01:27You are such a simpleton!
00:01:31Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
00:01:33Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat!
00:01:35I tried to get along with you!
00:01:36You brought this onto yourself!
00:01:37I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement!
00:01:39Right back at you!
00:01:41I fucking hate you!
00:01:43I hate you!
00:01:44I fucking hate you more!
00:01:45I hate you more!
00:02:06So, you were arrested.
00:02:09Again!
00:02:12To be fair, we thought I was legal.
00:02:14Maybe we'll just swim there.
00:02:16There is a fence around that reservoir.
00:02:19It says here that you broke in using bolt cutters!
00:02:24If I had known you invited me over here to lecture me, I wouldn't have came.
00:02:31Come on, Gucci!
00:02:33Good boy!
00:02:35Oh!
00:02:41Come on, Gucci!
00:02:42Let's go!
00:02:43You know, every time the paparazzi catch you acting crazy, it reflects on me.
00:02:45It reflects on the company that your mother and I built with our bare hands.
00:02:49The same one that pays for your ridiculous lifestyle.
00:02:50I make my own money.
00:02:51Oh, you see, see.
00:02:52Underwear modeling, Lord.
00:02:53Underwear modeling, Lord.
00:02:54I am the spokesperson for Man Thumb.
00:02:55That means free underwear for life.
00:02:56For life.
00:02:57For life.
00:02:58Some parents would be proud.
00:02:59Yeah.
00:03:00Some parents would be proud.
00:03:01Yeah.
00:03:02Other parents would be prouder if you went to your real job now and then.
00:03:03You are next up to be CEO.
00:03:04Oh!
00:03:05At Dino Verlino Cosmetics.
00:03:06Now, how can I give you that job if you keep acting like, oh, you see.
00:03:07You are next up to be CEO.
00:03:08At Dino Verlino Cosmetics.
00:03:09Now, how can I give you that job if you keep acting like, oh, you see.
00:03:10Oh, you see, see.
00:03:11Oh, you see.
00:03:12Oh, you see.
00:03:13Oh, you see.
00:03:14Underwear modeling, Lord.
00:03:15I am the spokesperson for Man Thumb.
00:03:17That means free underwear for life.
00:03:19For life.
00:03:20Some parents would be proud.
00:03:21Yeah.
00:03:22Other parents would be prouder if you went to your real job now and then.
00:03:27You are next up to be CEO at Dino Verlino Cosmetics.
00:03:31Now, how can I give you that job if you keep acting like a Kardashian, huh?
00:03:36Mm.
00:03:37All right.
00:03:38Don't forget the meeting this afternoon, all right?
00:03:41And don't be late.
00:03:42Bye, Dad.
00:03:54Excuse me.
00:04:01Eww.
00:04:03Hello, my Gucci.
00:04:06Why won't Michelangelo just grow up, huh?
00:04:09He needs to settle down and find himself a nice girl, huh?
00:04:13Like you, Amelia.
00:04:15Good one, Romulus.
00:04:33These are great.
00:04:36I still don't have what I'm looking for.
00:04:38Do you guys mind staying a little longer?
00:04:40little longer no problem cool let's take five and then i want to see you in that leopard print
00:04:50hi michelangelo chantal nice to meet you i couldn't notice how hot you are i've got tickets
00:05:00to the premiere hold that thought hey dad where the hell were you dad i'm in a photo shoot you're
00:05:13supposed to be at the office geppetto came here all the way from milano i can meet him later
00:05:21well you're the one who planned the meeting during my shoot michelangelo you are 31 years old
00:05:26you gotta stop acting like an idiot teenager you could be running the world's largest
00:05:30cosmetic company right now you interned you went to business school you you have potential okay but
00:05:37you say you want to be the ceo well you're gonna have to prove it because so far i ain't seen the
00:05:44hand tape from you bye dad hey you okay yeah um but i'd be a lot better if you'd go out with me
00:05:57so it's a really rare form of cancer luckily my doctors did catch it early
00:06:20oh my god there is an experimental treatment but it's really expensive and my insurance doesn't
00:06:28cover it don't worry about that i have money saved i'll find the rest we will figure this out okay
00:06:36okay we're gonna get through this together thank you
00:06:54ciao gucci did you have a good walk
00:07:01what's wrong
00:07:01yeah i'm sorry this no no forget about it i'm sorry about your sister the treatments are just
00:07:13really expensive i have a savings for my doggy daycare my dream but
00:07:22it's only enough for one treatment and who knows how many she's gonna need betsy practically raised us
00:07:28after her parents passed i would do anything for her
00:07:35amelia i think i might know how to get you that money you do
00:07:42come back tonight and uh make something nice
00:07:58oh amelia you look bellisima
00:08:03except for the dog hair
00:08:06come with me i have someone i want you to meet
00:08:10are they from italy yes
00:08:13yes of course everything's from italy here
00:08:16well amelia meet michelangelo on my side
00:08:22i believe you both bumped into each other yesterday
00:08:24yeah aren't you the cleaning lady i'm a dog walker don't be so defensive
00:08:32i wasn't
00:08:32well i suppose i'll let you two get acquainted i have some unfinished business to do
00:08:42why don't you give yourself a glass of vino
00:08:44do you want to do me a favor
00:08:56what exactly
00:09:10how does it look
00:09:11not half bad
00:09:12i mean it's fine whatever
00:09:19let's do some sexy ones okay
00:09:22or not i don't feel like being your photographer all night
00:09:25you work for my dad you have to do what i say
00:09:28you don't look like bromulus to me
00:09:29just a few more pictures i'm not here to update your tinder profile
00:09:34i don't need tinder i'm an underwear model my dms are flooded like florida in a hurricane
00:09:41whatever
00:09:41for me another
00:09:47i told you
00:09:48now
00:09:59see dog walker
00:10:01that wasn't so hard
00:10:02what the fuck
00:10:07this is
00:10:07fucking product
00:10:12oh
00:10:13asshole
00:10:14you're crazy
00:10:15bitch
00:10:18amelia whoa
00:10:20what's wrong
00:10:21i asked her to pour me another drink
00:10:23and she flipped out
00:10:25i'm sorry romulus but your son is a prick i'm gonna be leaving
00:10:28no no no please i apologize
00:10:30my son he's just immature
00:10:32all right and that's why i invited you
00:10:35put forward it
00:10:37please all right
00:10:38just have a seat all right and i promise
00:10:40he'll be on his best behavior for the rest of the night won't you son
00:10:44so emilia needs money to pay for her sister's cancer treatment
00:10:50cancer
00:10:52and you need to settle down and prove that you're worthy of
00:10:55running the family business make my own money dad
00:11:00okay i want the business
00:11:03i think we can uh make a deal whereby everyone gets what they want
00:11:10what kind of deal
00:11:12well it's nothing crazy
00:11:15no you two just have to get married that's all
00:11:19what
00:11:21what romulus
00:11:23what are you saying i can't marry the male paris hilton
00:11:26yeah and i can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living
00:11:30well at least i don't pose in my tidy whiteys for money
00:11:35you have to grow up before you can run our business and the best way to do that is to get
00:11:39married we're not even a match we hate each other at least i do obviously i see there's something
00:11:47uncommon already look you know my wife and i we were opposites oh yeah we were like pizza and
00:11:54hawaiian pizza she sure drove me crazy when we first met
00:12:00i know you're probably thinking i'm just some old fool huh but i learned a thing or two in 70 years
00:12:06you two have chemistry yeah like a nuclear bomb
00:12:12romulus isn't there another way i don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life
00:12:17amelia you do want to help your sister don't you
00:12:20well you'll be able to afford the treatment if you just agree to this arrangement
00:12:24what's it gonna be
00:12:34what's it gonna be
00:12:37fine i'll do it for betsy
00:12:45angelo it's not polite to keep a lovely lady waiting if you're not going to agree to marry her
00:12:51then you're going to lose the business and you're also going to lose your inheritance what the hell dad
00:13:02fuck it fine i'll do it now let's just go into the office now the lawyers have already uh
00:13:10drafted the contract and son we are going to need some champagne
00:13:14you will be engaged for a period of 30 days followed by a wedding planned by me and i'll tell
00:13:27you it's going to be a big one for the ages too i hope the hallowed bowl's not booked anyway uh you
00:13:35must move in together immediately to avoid any suspicion you know look there's nothing wrong with
00:13:40an unarranged marriage but well it can't do any good if word got out to the public right that's why
00:13:46this has to be our own secret are we agreed sure all right sign in
00:14:10so your place or mine i'm not staying at a dog house fine then we'll stay at yours
00:14:40so this is michelangelo's place it's like a museum in here a michelangelo museum
00:14:57oh what was this put it in the trash this isn't trash these are my sisters she's an artist
00:15:10so put them in your room i said you could live here not decorate oh i'm sorry is it clashing with
00:15:16your banana hammock that's man thong it's trademarked
00:15:19look i gotta go meet somebody if this isn't cleaned up by the time i get back we're throwing
00:15:28it all in the fireplace it's an electric
00:15:36oh by the way this is gonna work you might want to start wearing that gee thanks welcome
00:15:49you're getting married
00:15:54shh betsy don't tell the whole world sorry amelia it's just it's not like you
00:16:02you're saying you're reserved safe like i always taught you
00:16:10well things change when you find out your sister has cancer and besides michelangelo offered to help pay for
00:16:18some of your treatments so i'm okay with a quick proposal michelangelo the ninja turtle
00:16:25no michelangelo dino valino maybe you've heard of him michelangelo dino valino shh
00:16:34socialite animals like start 100 canceled bravo shows how did you even meet his dad is one of my clients
00:16:47it's been a whirlwind of a romance he's so toxic speak of the devil
00:16:56oh yeah you know that's probably an old issue this is a doctor's office
00:17:06amelia betsy carlyle doctor's ready we'll talk about this later
00:17:26oh
00:17:36ready to go away baby
00:17:39we're already wet
00:17:52oh
00:17:56where did that come from
00:18:06nice place i love the artwork thanks finally
00:18:28a woman with good taste
00:18:32no i'm good you had plenty at dinner more for me
00:18:40you know if you like it down here you should see the bedroom
00:18:52who are you who are you
00:19:00chantel this is amelia my roommate
00:19:06whatever can you guys just keep it down i have work tomorrow morning
00:19:10this is my house we will be as loud as we want to be scream at the top of our lungs
00:19:18you've got to be kidding me
00:19:20what's wrong dog walker
00:19:22who's jealous
00:19:24jealous i'm not jealous
00:19:29sweet dreams
00:19:34i can't believe he said i was jealous
00:19:38how could i ever want to be with a party boy like him
00:19:42even if he is kind of hot
00:19:48see you later
00:20:04and um don't worry about last night
00:20:07sorry i had one too many to drink it won't happen again
00:20:11you better not
00:20:24how's the hangover roomie
00:20:26not now my head's killing me
00:20:28we need to talk about last night
00:20:30no what we need to do is order a three egg omelet and home fries
00:20:35i don't care if you're fooling around with your bimbos monogamy wasn't in the contract
00:20:39but your dad doesn't want people knowing that this is an arranged marriage
00:20:42and you made it pretty clear to that girl last night that you don't care about me
00:20:45fine i'll have her sign an nda just give me my phone
00:20:48my sister needs this money michelangelo and if the paparazzi find out about this
00:20:54then the contract is violated then neither of us get what we want
00:20:57yeah no i'm serious don't screw this up
00:21:03i've been dealing with paparazzi since i was a teenager
00:21:06i know what i'm doing dog walker and just so we're clear i will fuck whoever i want
00:21:12whenever i want
00:21:15fine do whatever you want
00:21:19sorry it's a bit harsh just really
00:21:24hung over
00:21:27that could have gone better
00:21:28hey baby you know you don't have to keep working amelia you're rich now
00:21:40i know i like it oh it's good to hear you know i just hope that your work ethic rubs off on my son
00:21:47tell me uh how are things going between the two of you huh oh fine yeah we're still getting to know each
00:21:54other all right well give him time all right oh and listen he is not as bad as tmz says all right
00:22:02look i i promise i wouldn't be so sure yeah you're right well we'll see you later yeah come on gucci
00:22:10come on bye gucci hey amelia hey jake gucci no royce
00:22:23say bad dog but i'm not actually mad about this it's to see you up close for once yeah same here
00:22:30sorry gucci's um a bit crazy this whole family actually all these rich people are nuts i should
00:22:46make a reality show a little dog owners of beverly hills
00:22:52do you want to walk together let these two get to know each other yeah i'd like that
00:23:00so how long have you been a dog walker a couple months i like it i had a bunch of terrible gigs
00:23:10before barista uber driver delivery guy movie extra you were in a movie actually it was a toothpaste
00:23:20commercial just trying to impress you how about you how long you've been doing this i don't know
00:23:27my whole life i guess it started as a summer job and then i turned it into my own business i want
00:23:33to open a doggy daycare someday wow i guess you really like dogs well they're easier to hang out
00:23:39with than humans sometimes if you want to hang out with this human sometime my band's playing at the
00:23:47echoplex tonight do you want to go and i have to admit i had a crush on you you did yeah i still do
00:24:04he's cute i wish he'd asked me out before i got legally engaged then again that boy has been out having fun
00:24:11i'd love to go to the concert oh yeah i mean uh regular yeah
00:24:24i know it's risky but i'm not a socialite like michelangelo i won't have to worry about paparazzi
00:24:30spotting me at the show hey what's your ring um it's just a class ring from high school
00:24:39it looks pretty big it was a big school public schools am i right
00:24:52i mean it kind of looks like an engagement ring me engaged no are you kidding i'm 24 i'm practically
00:24:59still a baby i mean i should be wearing diapers crawling around drooling nope single and ready to
00:25:07do you think it's a mingle okay royce pooped you should pick it up where i don't see it just over there
00:25:17do i have to wear a suit every day of course it's an office you want to be ceo you gotta look
00:25:30the part you mean like you look like willy wonka without the chocolate factory
00:25:36very funny you know i'm retiring next year yes i know yeah that means you gotta get up to speed
00:25:41rapidamente so today you're gonna be my shadow you'll be my extra hands and we got a lot to do
00:25:46can i get starbucks first no come on dad
00:25:58wow oh my goodness are you okay hi i'm michelangelo
00:26:07you're engaged remember and this is our new palette uh it's matt's collection he really
00:26:20liked these colors so we did them twice um but yeah that's presentation by me michelangelo
00:26:29what dad
00:26:39what a day dad it's not even lunch time yet look at you you got so lazy just sitting around taking
00:26:44pictures of yourself all the time just stick with it will you kid hard work does pay off let me just
00:26:51look at amelia what about her she comes from nothing son nobody taught her how to run a business but
00:26:58she just worked hard and now well now sharing some money doing what she loves i guess that's
00:27:04impressive yeah see see it is i hope she rubs off on you a little you know i just hope i don't get that uptight
00:27:12um
00:27:18break's over
00:27:26well not too bad huh one day down 40 more years to go
00:27:42now this is the time when you go home with amelia you talk about the day's work
00:27:48raise you closer together comfort each other just like your mom and i used to do
00:27:55you know i'm thinking it's time for the world to meet amelia tonight tonight
00:28:04what am i going to tell chantel i promised we'd netflix and bang tonight the la zoo fundraiser lights
00:28:11camera red carpet perfect time to announce our lovely new addition to the deal
00:28:16for dinner now don't you think it's a bit soon dad i mean we just signed the contract
00:28:24what's the matter you're getting along all right yeah yeah just really starting to warm up to each other
00:28:31all right so it's all settled i'll see you at eight o'clock tonight in the limo and don't be late
00:28:41why dad
00:28:52so remind me why are we getting makeovers done again
00:28:57because i want to do something nice for my favorite big sister and and you know i never splurge
00:29:06on stuff like this but since i'm part of the dina lavino family now i think i can afford to let my
00:29:12hair down you better not let that hair down sorry just an expression
00:29:16how's it going in there i'm coming out
00:29:30it's that bad i've never seen a dog walker look this hot buy that dress asap
00:29:49leave me alone party boy i've got my own function tonight
00:30:00what are you looking at
00:30:28you're spilling all over yourself thanks uh um i did you forget my name
00:30:37no there's just uh something different did you change your hair why do you care the man
00:30:44whorehouse is yours tonight i'm going out i just forgot my charger awesome thanks
00:30:49i'm taking this wait i've been calling you we're supposed to go to a fundraiser
00:30:56i told you i'm busy hold on
00:31:01amelia
00:31:02all right hey look who's right on time nice where's amelia
00:31:15she's sick she can't make it whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa no if your fiancee's sick you know you
00:31:22can't go out and party yeah you gotta stay home with her give her some give her some nice soup
00:31:29i'll catch both of you for the next one telling me that i hope she feels better soon
00:31:33all right poor thing okay dad see you in the office
00:31:43stupid dog walker tricking me with her makeover i'll teach her to mess with my plans
00:31:48hey it's michael and lordy novino you still track people
00:32:02like you just walked off a runway without a dog sorry i don't come to concerts often i kind of
00:32:27panicked no worries i should have mentioned this is more of a five dollar beer kind of place
00:32:32yeah but you're drinking for free tonight talk to the bartender wow the ip treatment you look like
00:32:43hey lover boy we're on gotta go find me in the green room after hope you like it break a leg
00:32:57good nothing for michelangelo
00:33:27maybe he's learned his lesson one more please
00:33:36but that doesn't mean i'm not hooking up with jake tonight
00:33:45jake you guys were great you really think so i just feel like we're ripping off the strokes
00:33:53the who you don't know the strokes are they older i'm more of a top 40 kind of girl
00:34:03it's all right lots of stuff to introduce you too you want some a little drink yeah thank you
00:34:11so when did you learn how to play guitar since i was 13. played in bands all through high school and college but
00:34:25i feel like this one's finally going someplace that's awesome when i get my record deal i can finally
00:34:31quit my job focus on music full time you're gonna quit dog walking i thought you liked it
00:34:37i do but it's just another gig until i hit it big in music i don't even like dogs that much
00:34:44i'm more of a cat person a cat person
00:34:47who doesn't like dogs even michelangelo's good with gucci
00:34:55i don't want to talk about work tonight i just want to relax have a good time
00:35:01you're beautiful you know that
00:35:02i thought i wanted to hook up with jake now i'm not sure we have nothing in common is it weird that
00:35:11i feel a tiny bit guilty
00:35:16the heck i'm tipsy and he's cute michelangelo had his fun now i can have mine
00:35:32it looks like someone needs obedience
00:35:39what's going on that's michelangelo dina lavino the nepo baby underwear model he's not you're coming
00:35:46with me dog walker don't make me get the leash what the hell michelangelo back off dude back off
00:35:53grubby little hipster she's my fiance so that was an engagement ring jake i can explain
00:36:00let's go i'm really sorry jake i'm not jake
00:36:11this is for making me uber all the way to fucking sober mike
00:36:17and this is for making me listen to andy
00:36:18i can't believe you did that after your high and mighty speech you're such a hypocrite
00:36:29yeah well i don't have the paparazzi following me around just an italian american psycho
00:36:34i'm not following you around you know what i get it you saw me with chantelle last night and now you're
00:36:40jealous oh me jealous did you see the way that you were acting around jake like i would ever
00:36:47fuck a dog walker i am more than a dog walker you playboy prick i have a name
00:36:53wait what are you doing that is an original i'm so sick of your bullshit oh fine i'll just hop in my
00:37:00time machine go back to ancient room and get another one i don't care about your art your money your
00:37:04stupid mansion you're treating me like that's from the renaissance you're history's worst nightmare
00:37:10i tried to make this work with you we signed a contract for an arranged marriage did you actually
00:37:16think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction you are such a simpleton
00:37:22wait wait wait wait wait well at least i'm not a spoiled brat i tried to get along with you you
00:37:28brought this on to yourself i wish i never agreed to this awful engagement right back at you
00:37:33i fucking hate you i fucking hate you more
00:37:48why did you get along with me?
00:37:49what do you want to say, i just want to say
00:37:57why did you want to see
00:38:03what do you want to see
00:38:09why is it
00:38:11Where am I?
00:38:42Who's spooning me?
00:38:45Is that Jake?
00:38:47How drunk was I?
00:38:54Michelangelo?
00:38:55Dog Walker.
00:38:57Oh, I forgot we did that last night.
00:39:02Must have been all those free beers.
00:39:03Uh-huh.
00:39:05We don't have to talk about this, right?
00:39:08I don't know.
00:39:08We had too many drinks.
00:39:09We just forget it ever happened.
00:39:11If that's what you want.
00:39:13Definitely.
00:39:15Um, I have to go to work.
00:39:20I should get up too.
00:39:23Oh, my head.
00:39:25There's Pedialine in the fridge.
00:39:28Thanks for coming today, sis.
00:39:30Of course.
00:39:31My doctor did say I needed lots of exercise.
00:39:35Well, you look great.
00:39:36Thanks.
00:39:39I don't feel great.
00:39:41The treatment's taking a lot out of me.
00:39:45You, on the other hand, are glowing today.
00:39:49What's going on?
00:39:50So, Michelangelo and I had sex last night.
00:39:56Wait.
00:39:58For the first time?
00:40:00Yeah.
00:40:01We're taking it slow.
00:40:04Michelangelo.
00:40:05The male gigolo.
00:40:06Taking it slow.
00:40:10Maybe I did misdredge him.
00:40:11And, how was it?
00:40:17Well...
00:40:17Really bad.
00:40:18Right?
00:40:19I knew it.
00:40:20Actually, it was the best sex I ever had.
00:40:24Well, that explains the glow.
00:40:27I am happy for you, sis.
00:40:32Physical chemistry is important.
00:40:34That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.
00:40:37I don't get it.
00:40:38He and I are nothing alike, and yet he knows how to push all of my buttons.
00:40:42I feel like an arcade game, and he just keeps getting the high score again and again, and...
00:40:47You get the picture.
00:40:50Hey.
00:40:53Opposites attract.
00:40:54Like, I mean, that's why you guys love each other so much.
00:40:58Because you're so different.
00:41:01Something like that.
00:41:10Here it comes.
00:41:11Right on the schedule.
00:41:13Dog walker's in love with me.
00:41:15I'll have to let her down easy.
00:41:18Weird.
00:41:19I haven't heard from the dog walker all morning.
00:41:24What was that about?
00:41:32Must be the hangover.
00:41:42Hey, I'd like to hang out tonight.
00:41:44Maybe we can finish what we started last time.
00:41:46Why can't I stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:42:08And why hasn't she texted me yet?
00:42:16I'm not very good with words.
00:42:43Me neither.
00:42:44But last night, I...
00:42:46You don't have to say anything.
00:42:47We both know it was a mistake.
00:42:49And we can just go back to hating each other.
00:42:52Like nothing ever happened.
00:42:54I don't think you understand if you would just listen to me for a second.
00:42:56Look, you don't have to worry about me catching feelings.
00:42:59I'm a big girl.
00:43:00I've had a one-night stand before.
00:43:02I've never been with someone like you before.
00:43:05Okay, I get it.
00:43:06I'm not one of your models or your D-list actresses.
00:43:11You don't have to give me some big speech about letting me down easily.
00:43:15I know that if you would take back last night, that you would.
00:43:18And frankly, so would I.
00:43:19Emily, you're driving me nuts.
00:43:21You don't understand.
00:43:21Let's get some takeout and figure this thing out.
00:43:25I don't need you to mansplain my own feelings to me.
00:43:29Wait, did you just call me Amelia?
00:43:34What happened to Dog Walker?
00:43:37I have a confession to make.
00:43:40Last night, I don't know how, I don't know why,
00:43:47but that was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:43:51Really?
00:43:52Do I look like I'm lying?
00:43:55I'm not a good actor.
00:43:56I could even do reality TV.
00:43:59But there is a fire between us, Amelia.
00:44:03Some kind of crazy cosmic chemistry.
00:44:06You sound like you're reading a horoscope.
00:44:11Amelia.
00:44:12Please.
00:44:15I know you felt it too.
00:44:22Amelia, please.
00:44:24Don't act like you didn't feel it too.
00:44:27I felt it too.
00:44:28So why are we fighting it?
00:44:35I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:38Me too.
00:44:38I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:39I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:39I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:40I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:41I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:42I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:43I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:44I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:45I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:46I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:47I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:48I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:49I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:50I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:51I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:52I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:53I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:54I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:55I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:56I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:57so i set the kitchen on fire how am i supposed to know you're not supposed to light fireball
00:45:18shots on fire it's not my fault they should change the name
00:45:22no wonder they canceled vanderpump's super yacht if you think that's funny just wait till the next
00:45:29episode the captain gets super drunk off espresso martinis and he almost sinks the boat
00:45:33you know when you're not acting like a complete douchebag you're not so bad
00:45:43thanks you know we could actually try this
00:45:49hey if the sex stays this good i'm open for anything i'm serious the wedding's coming up
00:45:57we could give it a shot you mean like you and me together together why not were you planning
00:46:06on marrying someone else
00:46:19oh gucci what's the rush
00:46:23oh hey royce
00:46:30jake how's it going
00:46:33good yeah
00:46:35look the other night was kind of crazy i know
00:46:40i should have told you about michelangelo
00:46:42we were kind of in a fight i'm sorry for bringing you into this
00:46:48is he always like that so aggressive and controlling i couldn't believe the way he just dragged you
00:46:54off like that he was like a caveman lugging home his woman
00:46:57well i am his woman he saw us together and he got jealous
00:47:02and i don't blame him oh my god am i actually sticking up for michelangelo
00:47:08dina volino
00:47:09i didn't mean to pry
00:47:11just wanted to make sure everything's okay
00:47:14i'm here if you need to talk
00:47:16thanks jake but i'm engaged
00:47:20remember and the only person i want to talk to is my fiance
00:47:24i thought we had a connection
00:47:26you're a cat person it never would have worked
00:47:30come on gucci let's go
00:47:33cats are awesome
00:47:37that was a great presentation
00:47:43the marketing director loved your ideas for the new line
00:47:46you think so
00:47:47maybe i'm finally starting to get a hang of this ceo thing
00:47:51oh yeah yeah now listen
00:47:53i gotta fly to paris for a few days
00:47:56you mind watching your little brother for me
00:47:58gucci? sure
00:47:59but i mean you know dogs are more amelia's specialty
00:48:03yeah but that's how you impress her
00:48:05you invite her for a romantic date at the dog park
00:48:08at the dog park
00:48:09mm-hmm
00:48:10i just texted her it's all set
00:48:12now
00:48:13go get her lover boy
00:48:16so you just throw it and he brings it back
00:48:30you've never played fetch before
00:48:32it's my dad's dog
00:48:35not mine
00:48:35let me try
00:48:37that's okay
00:48:39i know you don't want to touch a slobbery ball with your
00:48:42dainty hands
00:48:43do you ever get tired of the dog stuff
00:48:48no
00:48:50i like my work
00:48:51what's the point of working if you never get a chance to
00:48:55have fun
00:48:56you're right
00:48:58i should work less
00:48:59if nothing else
00:49:02you're letting me get closer to my little brother
00:49:04fetch gucci
00:49:09i've got a big surprise
00:49:15a surprise
00:49:16just wait and see
00:49:19have a good night mr dino bellino
00:49:29what's that
00:49:36special delivery from
00:49:38masterione's italian deli
00:49:40gucci
00:49:43it's your favorite prosciutto
00:49:45you know that's awful for dogs
00:49:49right
00:49:49i thought you were
00:49:51off the clock today
00:49:53besides a special occasion
00:49:55i also thought we could use his water bowl
00:49:59to pour a little chianti into
00:50:00i'm kidding
00:50:03this is for us
00:50:04why don't you get us a corkscrew
00:50:06what else is in the back
00:50:08just some imported italian ingredients
00:50:10so i can make you a real italian dinner
00:50:12you can cook
00:50:14that was so good
00:50:29i feel like i just
00:50:31went to italy even though i've never been
00:50:33how did you
00:50:35do this i can't cook at all
00:50:37making italian food is one of my favorite things to do
00:50:39did you learn in culinary school
00:50:41no
00:50:42my mom taught me
00:50:44tell me about her
00:50:45i've never told a girl about my mom
00:50:49sorry
00:50:50i don't mean to pray
00:50:52she
00:50:53passed away when i was 11
00:50:55breast cancer
00:50:57but
00:50:58i have a lot of good memories of her
00:51:00she grew up in a little village in tuscany
00:51:03and
00:51:03she taught me everything i know about cooking
00:51:06we'd spend hours in the kitchen just cooking and eating and laughing
00:51:11i still have all of her recipes
00:51:15here
00:51:16handwritten in italian
00:51:18that's really special
00:51:20i miss her
00:51:23this might sound corny but
00:51:26i feel a little closer to her when i make her recipes
00:51:30it's not corny
00:51:31but i didn't know you were such a softie
00:51:34just don't tell tmz
00:51:37what about your parents
00:51:39my parents died in a car accident
00:51:42when i was 13
00:51:44it's been me and betsy ever since
00:51:47i'm sorry
00:51:48i just really hope these treatments work
00:51:51i don't want to lose her too
00:51:55i'm sorry
00:51:57your story made me emotional
00:51:59i'm gonna go do the dishes
00:52:01i'll help you
00:52:02no no it's fine
00:52:03i like doing the dishes
00:52:05it relaxes me
00:52:06good
00:52:07because i hate them
00:52:09well then i guess we make a good team
00:52:11is it just the wine
00:52:16or am i really falling for
00:52:19him
00:52:20her
00:52:20you don't want espresso
00:52:24hey
00:52:33hey
00:52:35do you want an espresso
00:52:37i just figured out how to make the machine work
00:52:39no thank you
00:52:41you need to have a morning meeting i'm kind of in a rush
00:52:43okay well don't forget gucci
00:52:45how could i
00:52:46ready bro
00:52:49well let me fix your tie
00:52:51what do you know about ties
00:52:54you wear t-shirts to work
00:52:56and you wore man thongs two weeks ago
00:52:59touche
00:53:00there you go
00:53:02okay bye
00:53:03love you love you too
00:53:08love you too
00:53:09sorry
00:53:19reflex i didn't mean to say that
00:53:21me neither too soon
00:53:23talk about it later
00:53:26talk about it later
00:53:26yeah
00:53:27okay
00:53:28okay
00:53:29okay
00:53:29uh could that have been any more awkward
00:53:32and is michelangelo really in love with me
00:53:35and i'm not even if i want to make the money money in the world
00:53:40look who's here
00:53:42hey my little guy
00:53:44hey little gucci
00:53:47look at this right here
00:53:48Here's mine, just like that, yeah, even got one for Big Brother, right there, come to
00:54:02Papa, yes, my boy, alright, alright, so, we gotta talk about this wedding, this is two
00:54:10weeks off, Hollywood Bowl, they're waiting for an answer, and I bumped into Chris Martin
00:54:16on the plane, he says that the band is free, you like Coldplay, right, Dad, we can't have
00:54:23the wedding at the Hollywood Bowl, well, alright, then we'll book the Magic Castle, how about
00:54:29that, not too big, plenty of room for Coldplay, eh, Dad, let's just pump the brakes, we cannot
00:54:35plan a wedding like this, what, something wrong with Amelia, no, everything's great, it's better
00:54:43than great, honestly, but we cannot have a big, flashy wedding, that's our thing, it's
00:54:50not Amelia's thing, I think it'd make her uncomfortable, wow, I never thought of that, you know, you have
00:54:59a very good point there, I'm very impressed, you've never acted like this with any other
00:55:07woman, I can't say I've ever felt like this with another girl, sounds like you might be
00:55:13falling in love, love, yeah, I don't know, he's cute, alright, alright, change the deal, gonna cancel
00:55:26the Hollywood Bowl, alright, and then we'll have a nice, small, intimate affair, a wedding
00:55:31with Coldplay, no Coldplay, Dad, no Coldplay, so, it's about my cancer treatment, it's not working,
00:55:48I know it, I talked to my doctors yesterday, and I'm cured, what, you're cured, oh, congratulations,
00:56:00thank you, I wasn't expecting it, I didn't think I would be cured in only two sessions,
00:56:06it only took two sessions, I almost had enough in my savings to cover that, maybe I didn't
00:56:14need the Dina Valino's money, what's wrong, sis, we should be celebrating, I brought Prosecco,
00:56:20no, yeah, no, I'm good, yeah, Amelia, I'm your sister, you can tell me anything, is it
00:56:31Michelangelo, is everything okay, if that punk pretty boy hurts you, I will take that man thong
00:56:38and give him a wedgie so far up his butt that it will cut him in two, it's not Michelangelo,
00:56:45Betsy, it's me, I have to tell you something, I cannot believe that they convinced you to
00:56:58do an arranged marriage, what is this, Game of Thrones, it was the only way that I could
00:57:04pay for your treatments, and you know that I would do anything for you, actually, he's
00:57:11not that bad, I kind of like him, yeah, babe, that's called Stockholm Syndrome, we need to
00:57:19get you out of there, Betsy, I have real feelings for him, but what about the tabloid stories,
00:57:30you heard what he did to that floozy in Disney World, they banned him for life, you'll never
00:57:36go to Epcot, he's not actually like the stories, or at least not to me, he's only acting like
00:57:44that to get into your pants, Amelia, if you marry Michelangelo, he will make your life
00:57:51a living hell, what if you meet him, yeah, meet him, maybe you'll change your mind, maybe,
00:57:59maybe you'll actually like him, don't count on it, please, me, just give him a chance, fine,
00:58:07yes, only one, yes, you won't regret it, I'm gonna go get the Prosecco, you better bring
00:58:19the whole bottle, thank you for making dinner, of course, I'm glad she's cancer free, we need
00:58:29to celebrate, Michelangelo, you know that Betsy is the most important person in the world
00:58:36to me, right, you mean besides me, I'm serious, it's really important to me that you two get
00:58:41along, have a glass of wine, tonight's gonna be great,
00:58:56it's enormous, why would anybody need so much room, it's nice to see you
00:59:06too, sis, nice to finally meet you, Betsy, so this is the infamous, uh, Michelangelo,
00:59:19how about we start off with a glass of champagne, 96 Dom Perignon, Amelia said that's the year
00:59:27that you were born, yeah, sorry, I can't drink that fancy stuff, it's worth more than my car,
00:59:33why would anybody spend that much on a drink, $8.99 at Ralph's, it's delicious, this was made
00:59:43in France, sorry, can't touch that stuff, so, who wants a drink,
00:59:49big, you hardly touch your food, it's a little too rich for me, mine tastes great, TOMBAILA,
01:00:09You hardly touch your food.
01:00:13It's a little too rich for me.
01:00:17Mine tastes great.
01:00:20So, Michelangelo, I have some big sister questions to ask about the pernuptials coming up.
01:00:27You don't mind, do you?
01:00:30Fire away.
01:00:32So, I know you two have been having your...
01:00:35fun.
01:00:36Um, but what's this relationship gonna look like once that honeymoon phase wears off?
01:00:43I don't think it's going to.
01:00:47That's cute and all, but what about her career?
01:00:50Are you gonna support her?
01:00:52Or kids, what's your stance on that?
01:00:54Or are you just gonna jump to the next person once you get bored and this gets too serious?
01:00:58Betsy!
01:00:59Look, I know I have a past, but I'm committed to it.
01:01:04We haven't talked about kids, but I'm open to anything.
01:01:08See, Michelangelo, that's my point.
01:01:10You two are getting married and you barely know each other.
01:01:14We know enough.
01:01:16Easy Betsy.
01:01:18I just think it's a bad idea getting married this soon.
01:01:21And if you really cared about Amelia, you would give her the time.
01:01:26And what makes you such an expert?
01:01:27I don't see a ring on your finger.
01:01:30Michelangelo.
01:01:31You probably picked them apart the way you're doing me right now.
01:01:34It's no wonder Amelia was so uptight when I met her.
01:01:36She gets it from you.
01:01:38Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
01:01:40You started it.
01:01:41Why don't we all just calm down?
01:01:50Betsy's just looking out for my best interests.
01:01:53No, she's alone and miserable and trying to drag you down with her.
01:01:56That's not fair, Michelangelo.
01:01:58She's not been fair to me since she walked through the door.
01:02:00You're the horniest bastard in Beverly Hills.
01:02:02And you're a frigid, lonely woman who cannot stand to see her sister happy.
01:02:06You know what?
01:02:06You can't talk to Betsy like that.
01:02:08That's my sister.
01:02:09She just survived cancer.
01:02:13That doesn't give her a right to insult me inside my own house.
01:02:16This is my house, too, and she can say whatever she wants.
01:02:19Not to me.
01:02:20You know, maybe she should be concerned.
01:02:22I don't like this side of you.
01:02:23See, I told you you should have spent more time getting to know each other,
01:02:26but I guess the contract doesn't allow for that.
01:02:28You told her?
01:02:30She's my sister.
01:02:31I don't care.
01:02:31That violates our agreement.
01:02:33Oh, is that all I am to you?
01:02:35A contractual agreement?
01:02:36Some kind of obligation?
01:02:38That's not what I meant.
01:02:39It came out wrong, Amelia.
01:02:41I love you.
01:02:43You love me?
01:02:44Don't listen to him.
01:02:45He doesn't even know what that means.
01:02:47Shut the fuck up!
01:02:49You know what?
01:02:50Maybe she was right.
01:02:51I shouldn't have signed that contract.
01:02:53It's over.
01:02:53We need to get out of here.
01:03:01I've seen too many true crime documentaries on Netflix to know what happens when you tell
01:03:05rich people secrets.
01:03:10Amelia, I know this is hard to hear, but you did the right thing.
01:03:18You do so much better than him.
01:03:20Yeah.
01:03:21But he isn't a monster.
01:03:23I shouldn't have said that.
01:03:25We can talk about it on the road.
01:03:27Get packing, and if we leave now, we can get to Mexico by dawn.
01:03:31Lay low for a bit.
01:03:33Mexico?
01:03:33Or Canada.
01:03:35Whatever.
01:03:36It's that, or stay here and get sued by the Dino Levinos.
01:03:40Or worse.
01:03:41I don't think Romulus and Michelangelo would sue us.
01:03:44I mean, I only told you about the contract.
01:03:47It's not like I told the media.
01:03:48You don't know that.
01:03:51We're liabilities.
01:03:53Loose ends.
01:03:55You should listen to more True Kind podcast.
01:04:00Get rid of that thing.
01:04:02They could be tracking us right now.
01:04:05Yeah, you know, Michelangelo did manage to follow me to the ecoplex the other night.
01:04:10See?
01:04:11He could have a sniper on us.
01:04:13It's Romulus.
01:04:18Hey, Romulus.
01:04:21What?
01:04:22What do you mean Gucci's missing?
01:04:36You came.
01:04:39Against my better judgment.
01:04:41I'm not happy you've been blowing me off.
01:04:43I've just been busy, but it's over with now.
01:04:49You should punish me for straying.
01:04:54You make me sick.
01:04:56I make me sick.
01:05:05Nice underwear.
01:05:09It's great craftsmanship.
01:05:10Okay, let's get this over with.
01:05:21Is that all you have to say?
01:05:23Do you even realize how hot I am?
01:05:26I'm sorry.
01:05:28Chantel.
01:05:29I thought I wanted this.
01:05:33But I don't.
01:05:36I'm not the stud that I used to be.
01:05:38Amelia broke up with me.
01:05:46It feels like she's stomping on my heart with one of your shoes.
01:05:52Never in a million years did I think I'd fall for a dog walk with my hair.
01:05:55I am fucking devastated.
01:05:57And all her wishes I could take back how I acted.
01:06:01And she just wanted to come back to me.
01:06:13Amelia?
01:06:13Hi, Dad.
01:06:16Gucci's gone?
01:06:20I'll be right there.
01:06:27Gucci, Gucci.
01:06:28Oh, I love you.
01:06:29Romulus.
01:06:30What?
01:06:30Hold on.
01:06:31Oh.
01:06:33Well, I only had him off the leash for a second, you know.
01:06:37We're practically in the house, and all of a sudden, he just shot off like a rocket.
01:06:41I've been calling him all night, but he won't come back!
01:06:45Well, we can help you find him.
01:06:48Yeah?
01:06:49Right?
01:06:51Good, thanks.
01:06:53Gucci?
01:06:54This better not be a trap.
01:06:56Just come on.
01:06:59Gucci!
01:07:00Gucci!
01:07:01Gucci!
01:07:02Hey, hey, hey, where's Michelangelo?
01:07:04Huh?
01:07:04I thought you were both together.
01:07:05Why isn't he here with you?
01:07:07Oh, um, he's...
01:07:08Sorry, I'm late, Dad.
01:07:09Oh, where were you?
01:07:12I had to stop for late-night delivery at Mastriani's.
01:07:15It's Gucci's favorite prosciutto.
01:07:17If this doesn't ring out of hiding, nothing will.
01:07:20Smart move, dude.
01:07:22Here, ladies, take a piece of this prosciutto here.
01:07:24That's it.
01:07:29Amelia.
01:07:38Okay.
01:07:39Gucci!
01:07:41Gucci!
01:07:47He's hopeless.
01:07:49We've been looking for him all night long.
01:07:53We're never gonna find him.
01:07:55Don't give up, Dad.
01:07:55He's just off having a little adventure.
01:07:57Keep looking.
01:07:58He'll turn up in a few minutes.
01:08:01See?
01:08:02They're not gonna kill us.
01:08:03I do have to admit, though.
01:08:06I didn't expect to see this side of him.
01:08:08He's really there for his dad.
01:08:11His dad's dog.
01:08:13So you approve now?
01:08:15They didn't say that.
01:08:18Gucci!
01:08:22Gucci!
01:08:23My boy's back!
01:08:25Oh!
01:08:26Oh!
01:08:26Oh!
01:08:26Oh!
01:08:27Oh!
01:08:27Oh!
01:08:28Oh!
01:08:28Oh!
01:08:29Oh!
01:08:29Oh!
01:08:29Oh!
01:08:30Oh!
01:08:31Oh!
01:08:32Oh!
01:08:32Oh!
01:08:32Okay.
01:08:33Okay.
01:08:34Okay.
01:08:34Okay.
01:08:34I'm a little closer to approving.
01:08:38I might have possibly misjudged you.
01:08:51A little.
01:08:53It's okay.
01:08:54Most of what the tabloids publish is true.
01:08:57They just leave out part of the story.
01:09:00Amelia, can we talk?
01:09:05Please?
01:09:08Okay.
01:09:09Amelia, can we talk?
01:09:14Please?
01:09:15Okay.
01:09:24Amelia, I'm sorry about earlier tonight.
01:09:29I shouldn't have attacked your sister,
01:09:32and I shouldn't have blown up at you
01:09:33for mentioning the contract.
01:09:38I hope that you know you mean so much more to me
01:09:40than just a business agreement.
01:09:44Thanks for saying that.
01:09:46I needed to hear that.
01:09:49And I'm sorry for calling you a monster.
01:09:53You're not one.
01:09:55I'm still learning new things about you.
01:09:58Most of them are good.
01:09:59I'm happy we signed the contract.
01:10:04I'm not.
01:10:08You're not?
01:10:08What do you mean?
01:10:12Amelia, this might sound crazy, but...
01:10:16I meant it when I said that I love you.
01:10:18And I don't want some silly piece of paper
01:10:21to be the reason that we stay together.
01:10:25I want to know that our love is real.
01:10:29Dad.
01:10:30What is it, son?
01:10:31I want to cancel the contract
01:10:34between me and Amelia.
01:10:36Why, son?
01:10:38Because I want to ask her to marry me.
01:10:41And not because of some legal obligation,
01:10:46but because she wants to.
01:10:53Consider our contract null and void.
01:10:56Amelia, where will it be?
01:11:08Will you marry me?
01:11:12Will you marry me?
01:11:15Yes.
01:11:16I'll marry you.
01:11:26You've made me the happiest underwear model
01:11:34in the world.
01:11:36And I'm the happiest dog walker.
01:11:39Look at me.
01:11:40I'm dripping like a Roman aqueduct.
01:11:44All right, all right, you two.
01:11:46That's enough, all right?
01:11:48We spent this whole night together.
01:11:50Come over to my place, all right?
01:11:51We'll have a nice breakfast, Italian style.
01:11:54Well, hopefully it's not too rich for you.
01:11:58I think I can get used to it.
01:11:59And then we can all discuss the wedding, all right?
01:12:03I want to hear from everybody involved,
01:12:05especially Coldplay.
01:12:07We're not getting Coldplay, Dad.
01:12:10It was worth a try.
01:12:24And now the bride and groom would like to give their vows.
01:12:38Michelangelo?
01:12:42Amelia,
01:12:44even though we're far from a perfect couple,
01:12:48we're perfect together.
01:12:51I've learned so much from you
01:12:53in such a short amount of time
01:12:55and not just about dogs.
01:12:58I don't know how I ever managed anything without you.
01:13:04I'm looking forward to your support and counsel
01:13:09as I take over the family business
01:13:11from my father this year.
01:13:13And in return,
01:13:15I promise
01:13:16to be patient
01:13:19and a loving husband
01:13:21as you turn our backyard
01:13:23into the doggy daycare
01:13:24you've always dreamed of.
01:13:30Amelia,
01:13:31you are the only thing better
01:13:33than free underwear.
01:13:36I love you so much.
01:13:37I never thought I would end up
01:13:45with a former man-thong model,
01:13:48but here we are.
01:13:50Michelangelo,
01:13:51you've helped me come out of my shell
01:13:53and you've taught me
01:13:54how to live life to the fullest,
01:13:55something I hope to do more of
01:13:57on our honeymoon in Italy.
01:14:03And although we haven't spent much time together,
01:14:06it feels like a lifetime.
01:14:07in a good way.
01:14:09I know your mom would be proud of you.
01:14:11Te amo, Michelangelo.
01:14:13I love you.
01:14:14With the power vested in me
01:14:16by Almighty God
01:14:17and the city of Beverly Hills,
01:14:19I now pronounce you husband and wife.
01:14:22You may kiss your bride.
01:14:29Thanks.
01:14:30I'm Betsy.
01:14:34I'm Amelia's sister.
01:14:36I'm Jake.
01:14:38Another dog walker.
01:14:40It's crazy,
01:14:41you know,
01:14:41giving my sister,
01:14:42but I've always been more of a cat person.
01:14:46Me too.
01:14:46Woo!
01:14:48Woohoo!
01:14:48Stronger faith,
01:14:50class family.
01:14:54Choose in the room,
01:14:56it's a tragedy.
01:14:57Woo!
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